Sexy Fuck of Madison Avenue

bad idea! by girl in red plays.

Bobby Kennedy dances on a platform. He’s surrounded by the Ladies of Madison Avenue. They try to dance sexy to the song.

“You undid my bra and threw my clothes down on the floor! You said, ‘Darling are you ready for more!?’” sings this woman shaking her mildly ugly ass.

“Oh my God. Lem was gay! I see the light!” says this guy.

“Why do you think that?” asks George Bush.

“ because these are the only women that ever have existed?” he says in fear, sincerely.

Burning by Yeah Yeah Yeahs plays.

Holy Dances by Beach House plays next as this woman plays percussion and dances slowly:

This woman gets out a tambourine:

Her bracelets also make noise.

I Will Run from You by Cemeteries plays.

“Wow!” says Asia to Lacey laughing.

“What? The heroin?” says Lacey.

Asia nods and smiles, lovingly.

Lacey suddenly becomes serious.

And at that Bobby and a herd of these women run by. He’s leading the pack.

“What are you running from!?” asks Lacey, inquisitively.

The song shifts to In the Middle of the Night by Still Corners. They all try to dance like snakes.

“Circle!” says this woman like a zombie.

“Bow! Darling bow!” says Lacey, mockingly but with command.

The woman, obtuse-as-fuck, and arrogant, and crass and shitty, and conceited-as-Hell bows. She misses Lacey’s tone and thinks Lacey’s horribly, embarrassingly intimidated and lesbian.

“You keep focusing on my face. It’s OBVIOUS your in love with me!” she says sincerely.

She leans in for a kiss and Lacey stabs her in the gut.

Lem laughs at the woman laying on the floor.

“Does anyone else wanna try it!??” asks Lacey, trying to sound like a cross between Bugsy and Scotia.

A gay man giggles with Lem.

Lacey takes out a handgun and shoots him in the head cold, perfect and quick.

“I’m resting.” says Lem.

“Or you’d have shot him yourself?” asks another gay man.

And at that Lem takes out a gun and shoots him next.

“I’m sorry!” says Lacey, sincerely to Lem.

“It’s cool. We’ll work on it.” says Lem.

“Oh! Oh! He means she’s not coming quickly enough!” says Bobby Kennedy Junior. “But as a man!”

“Yes!!!” screams this woman:

“You need to be alone, Lacey!” says this man condescendingly.

“That’s repulsive. I need her pussy tonight and I need the body attached.” says Lem.

And at the he weeps in what he psychotically believes is his personal profound misery.

10 Mile Stereo by Beach House plays.

“You know. You don’t look convincing to me anymore, Lem.” says Al Franken.

“Aww! How precious!!” says Lem mocking him.

“So you’re gay?” asks Al Franken, sincerely.

“No!” says Lem laughing. “I never was gay. Sweetie…they all look alike. It’s a fake thing.”

“But homosexuality is real!” says Al Franken.

“Yes! But…the mannerisms are not. They’re…faked. I faked them. You just bug-out your eyes. Nobody is born that way. And so…if those eyes are part of homosexual development…like when a man’s balls drop…they’re freaks. Because nobody has natural eyes like that. That’s fake.” says Lem.

“Jumped into the River!” sings Thom Yorke in Pyramid Song by Radiohead.

“There was nothing to fear! Nothing to doubt!” sings Joe Kennedy Junior accidentally.

“No! Gay men don’t get ‘gay eyes’ during puberty. And we aren’t born that way!” says a dead gay Black man.

“Then why did you force Millennials to believe you from the bottom of our hearts…upon penalty of death?” asks Billy Graham.

“Okay! Those mannerisms came naturally to me. I didn’t fake them. They felt natural.” says the dead gay man.

“Yes! Why do you lie violently to me about that!??” says Lem.

“Because you were gay!” say all living gay men.

“You seriously don’t like that I could impersonate your eyes?” says Lem. “It’s not something…you’re born with. You adapted your muscles to make that look.”

“Yeah. That’s fact. Kids could imitate it too. But it’s fake. In a way. Shit!” says a dead gay man.

“YES! And I impersonated it.” says Lem. “I was brilliant at impersonating people.”

“Okay. And you did that why again!?” asks a dead gay man, exasperated but trying to be empathetic.

“Because…I thought I was gay!” says Lem.

The dead gay man laughs. Shakes his head no. Laughs.

“Damn. You were smart.” he says.

“I was!” says Lem.

The dead gay man looks horrified, but controls himself. “WHY!?!” he asks Lem.

“Because…I thought I was gay.” says Lem.

“People don’t do that!!” he says to Lem.

“Don’t do what!?” asks Lem.

“They don’t…go to…that much trouble…because they think they’re something.” says the dead black gay man.

“No!! I do! And so does Lacey!” says Lem.

“So do I!” says Mark Schiebel.

“Actually we all do.” says a psychologist.

“Yeah. It’s real.” says another psychologist.

“But not in that way!” says a dead gay Black man.

“In what way?” asks Lem.

“You would read about a character from a book…and then decide you are that…and then impersonate that!?” he asks Lem.

“Yeah.” says Lem.

“Oh no! Oh no, no, no!” says the dead gay Black man, laughing.

Lem and Lacey look quiet and disturbed.

“But Lem you put so much effort into it!” he says.

“YES!!” says Lem.

He looks at Lem, laughing. “WHAT THE FUCK!!?”

“No. It’s what I did.” says Lem.

“But…that’s so much effort!” he says again, in astonishment.

“Yeah. So? It’s just…something to do?” says Lem.

“Hmm. So you studied us.” says the dead gay Black man.

“Yup!” says Lem.

The dead gay Black man smiles. “You’re like a…weird…person who does this:

It’s just…creepy. And you’re not that creepy.” says the dead gay Black man.

“Yes. But…it was…not a fetish…or…a fascination…or…anything like that. I’m an incredibly sincere…deep…honorable person and I wanted to be…good.” says Lem.

“That’s so…isolated.” says another living human.

“Yeah! But…I was that smart.” says Lem.

“Oh okay.” she says.

“I’m unusually intelligent.” says Lem.

“So! Now there’s a new statue of you.” says this woman:

T

I’m On Fire by Chromatics plays as Bobby Kennedy Junior slow dances with this woman in the background:

Or is it this woman:

It’s unclear

“Oh, I get it! So you’re fake and you inspire Caroline Calloway!” yells an irate reader at Lacey.

“That’s an interesting thing to bring-up.” says Lem as he and Lacey ignore the random weird hater. “Do I look real there? What’s real?”

“If that’s me. Do I look…gay?

I wasn’t.

But…I look the same. So…

How real do I look? Hey! Maybe I’m not that intimate with EVERYONE.” says Lem.

“You look like yourself if that’s you, sweetie.” says a Millennial mom. “You remind me of Mark Zuckerberg. And I doubt he’s gay either.”

“True!” says Lem.

“Lem…you had plans. Why did you stop yourself?” asks another Millennial mom.

“I thought I was pure evil.” says Lem.

“What were your plans?” asks another Millennial mom.

“I wanted to take over the world. Truly. But I thought that was…typical. So…I admonished myself and let it go.” says Lem. “Jack didn’t want to. He didn’t even understand it. And I thought that was far holier. But…I also thought he was an idiot. …I looked down on him. …And no I wasn’t in love with him. I was…determined to be…helpful.”

“Aww! Look at Jack hanging out with King Constantine!” says one of the Millennial moms, in sweet awe of Jack. She longs to cradle his gay mind in her self-perceived profoundly loving arms.

“Yes! But what does Emperor Constantine think and feel about it? He looks unhappy.” says Lacey.

“OH FUCK YOU!” yell all the Millennial moms suddenly flashing Lacey with their panty-less stinky vaginas. They grossly pose long enough for Georgia O’Keefe to paint their photos if she’s not mistaken and stupid.

“You are a fool Lacey. We are superior! SUPERIOR! SUPERIOR! SUPERIOR!

But you gotta save us anyway!

So that’s the thing. We don’t wanna work! We don’t wanna be bad! We just wanna fucking be the best and we don’t even know what the fuck that is cause we’re basically almost dirt!” says a Lady of Madison Avenue.

“Yup. I don’t give a shit about Lem or Emperor Constantine either. They can rot in Hell!” say vast swaths of America, but most loudly Bobby’s crew of Ladies of Madison Avenue.

“See part of it is that we’re hoping Bobby will fuck us all later. He promised us he would, and most of us haven’t had sex with someone who wants us in a really long time. And I know you say part of that is how we act and our attitude and our superiority complexes and the way we dress and our disdainful attitude of all men as the hateful lesbian Nazi bitches that we are. But not real Nazis but Lacey we don’t want to.

We believe in the power of the Women Selma, Alabama, in 1918. We believe in the power of the sex gods of Darkness. We believe in you.” say the Ladies of Madison Avenger Avenue.

Roe versus Wade we believe in the power of the women who marched on Selma, Alabama, 1918