anemone

anemone by slenderbodies plays.

Skippy Handelman smiles. Laughs.

He’s possibly a Billings. A Billings who was never born. He’s Lem’s brother. Not Josh. *eye-roll*

“Lem. Our family…is brilliant.” says Skippy Handelman. “I was supposed to be your brother. But our parents just…weren’t able to make me.” He mockingly dances to this song. “This song is…about you. I care about you.” he says mocking him and yet not.

“But you made love to my wife to this song.” says Lem, as sincerely as possible.

“Yeah. You have a very pretty wife. But…listen to the lyrics K. LeMoyne Billings.” says Skippy. “Seashells and shit. Right?”

“Oh Lemmers. You don’t think you were the only sweet boy I could have given birth to?” says Lem’s mother. “Skippy is sweet too. Isn’t he.”

“Why are you Jewish?” asks Lem of Skippy.

“Because you started my Holocaust.” says Skippy lovingly.

“You didn’t sleep with my wife.” says Lem, sadly.

Skippy shakes his head no. “She’s your wife, man. Come on. It’s not that. Grow-up. It’s worse. Or what? Better?”

Here are the actual lyrics:

Down below, my thoughts get wonder…and I…let go

I don’t need more trim my life

I know

I like you better under water

And I’ll be drowning in anemone

They will never get the best of me

I’ll be drowning in anemone

Le-de de, Lu-de de

Down below they said you like ocean

Quiet like I like it

Here I’ll never be alone

I cross my life, I spend my time

He’s always right, he’s never wrong, touché

He’s been alright, I’ll be alright

But he is better and he a better

I like you better under water.

Set “me” under water

Le-de-de-da Who, only the best die young

So…that asshole

Only the best die young

So let me tell you what you know

You made a mess out of ya life

Dreaming’s not a place where I can be by myself, Alright.

Hey there little hoe

Only the best die young

So that asshole?

I made a mess out of your life to tell you what you no

I made a mess out of your lie/wife

Dreaming’s not a place where I can be myself okay?

Dreaming’s not a place where I can by myself, anyway

Dumb, dumb, dumb

Dumb, dumb, dumb

Dumb, dumb, dumb

“You like my exploration of color theory?

It’s sexy.

Jack harassed me while I made this song. I had to tie him up. It was very violent.

Do you care? Or is that my problem? My…opinion?

I should have been named Lemmers. I’m more Lemmers than you. *he laughs*

You died. And it was bad. We loved you.

Lem…is your new name LeLe-de-de-da Who? Because that name suits your gay persona.

Here lies L. Who Billings. *he laughs* “Who!? Who!? Who!? WHO!?” yells JFK.

Here lies L. Who Billings. “Lover of seashells and oral sex with the bestest best bestest friend ever that anyone’s ever had…ever…ever…forever?” Or should your name just be a giant question mark?

Who’s the fictional character? Me or you?

No. She loves both of us, buddy. But she doesn’t want to. And I want her to. And I’m devastated and so is she.

When do you actually fix things? Or do you just fuck people around and fuck people off?

I love you. But I’m not your lover.

*he stands and waits*

*Lem reanimates*

I’m your brother.

Yeah. I care about you. But I’m not YOUR LOVER! *he yells*

Does that offend you? Does that hurt your precious…tender…Holy-Mary-feelings?

Ahh! Come here! Come here sexy! Let me just fuck you! Right!? Right Hot-Stuffing-Mix? Shake that Billings ass. We do have nice asses.

*he reaches over and strangles Lem*

Yeah I know you were straight too. Aww! That fixes everything! Right!? Nobody cares. It’s all just…about Jack? If you’re not gay why does Lacey have to live like you ARE?

No. You can’t do that. You can’t do that Lem.

You wanna Bobby in your house too!? Yeah. Everyone should have a Bobby. Do you love…your Jackie? Well! I’m a Bobby.

Right!? Huh. So…I’m in love with your wife. But…I actually don’t want to be. And yet I do. Lem…this was such complicated but fascinating stuff. *he laughs*

No. You do understand that I don’t want to have sex with you? Right? You’re…so…vile.

Yeah. I love you. But you know…it’s sad. Lem…we’re very sad. And I know you care.

I could be English looking. But…I sympathized with the dead Jews you left on your great adventure. Your oral-sex-assault-journey. What you create matters. What we make matters. Only God can save you. Or did you assume I would?

Did you assume Lacey would? No. That’s for God. Why does that seem so tragic? Hmm. Well…probably because…we’re fallen. Our natural tendency is to love each other. So it feels like we should be able to save each other from Hell. But…that’s the rub with sin Lem. And…I’m sorry if you never learned enough about sin? Sin breaks us. And then we’re broken. So you’re supposed to really care. A LOT.

I can’t make things okay. God can. And you should too. I guess. Right?” says Skippy to Lem.

“But I love her.” says Lem.

“Yeah. It’s not a problem.” says Skippy.

“I need to talk with her.” says Lem.

“We didn’t actually have sex last night. You do know that. Right?” yells Skippy.

“No. YOU DID!!” yells Lem.

Skippy laughs. “Not…technically.”

“True. But come on! It’s too close.” says Lem.

Skippy smiles. “Yeah. But…what do you expect of Lacey and I? Lem…she’d be my sister-in-law. And you aren’t dead…but…then what is this?”

“It’s a genocide. Of the English. Because I didn’t die or kill Jack when he was trying to brutally sodomize me.” says Lem.

“Yup! So…what do you expect?” says Skippy.

“Lacey destroyed Ireland.” says Lem.

“To stop the genocide?” asks a future King William.

“Yes!” says Tom Banks.

“Yes! But is it working?” asks Lady Diana Spencer.

Do w“I’ll brutalize whoever is doing it if it takes eternity.” says Lacey. And I guarantee you she means it. “My wrath…is ETERNAL AND ENDLESS in Christ.”

“Lacey. Please explain why.” says Lem.

“Why what Lem?” asks Skippy.

The song plays.

“What?” says Skippy.

“Lem do you appreciate existing or do you just think you’re better than that?” says Lacey.

“Lacey…they will work it out sweetie. We need to move on…and I mean that in a good way.” says a Jewish dad. “Let them fix it. If they can’t…this isn’t right.”

Lacey thinks.

“You’re not my dad. But thank you.” says Lacey. “Tom Banks is my dad.”

“We’ll talk about it.” says Lem about the issue at hand.

“That’s not my dad either. But thank you, sir.” Skippy says to the Jewish father.

The man nods and laughs.

“YUP!” says Elliott Roosevelt. “YUP.” He laughs.