“An Observation” by Skippy Handelman

Colors by Crooked Flow plays.

Skippy Handelman sits on the grass at the Minnesota Valley Country Club.

Then he sits at the Minnekhada Club.

Lacey’s father belonged to the Minnekhada Club officially or unofficially. He’s Dutch old money. They’re superior.

“Lacey. You’re superior to the Kennedys. By birth. And there’s no relief from that in your case for your haters because The you’re also a saint. Or a saint in the making.” says Skippy to Lacey.

“How inferior are the Kennedys?” asks Lacey.

“There is no country club that would ever fell safe or be safe rejecting you. You’re their spine. You’re the rulers of the Earth.

The Kennedys are a cheap, ugly car parked in a country club parking lot. They still desperately want to be there whereas you are the ones who own the club. The club exists because of you. If you leave…it ceases to exist.” says Skippy.

And at that if Prince Williams is a cheap peasant poser Lacey cuts off his balls.

“How did you sneak in?” asks Lacey, if this is necessary.

“Me.” says Prince Philip.

And so Lacey next stabs Philip in the head, if necessary. And then she says, “Elizabeth. You can do better.”

“Yes.” says her father, to Lacey.

“Wow. You got beat up.” says Lacey to Elizabeth’s father.

“From birth.” he says.

“Who arranged things this way?!?” says Lacey.

“I was secretly evil.” says Queen Victoria.

“My head is fine.” says Prince Philip.

And at that Lacey puts him in chains instead.

“You can’t tell me that Joe Kennedy Junior and Jack ran the world. That’s a lie.” says Lacey. “For all of eternity? You’re a piece of shit to insist that.”

“I betrayed my wife to the Kennedys?” says Prince Philip to Lacey.

“You’re a coward. Right?” says Lacey.

And then she takes off for Queen Elizabeth I.

“I’ll bury my Madagascar Ruby in Saint Paul. If necessary.” says Lacey to God.

The song plays.

“Elizabeth. Darling. Are you a cuck for Satan?” says Lacey.

Queen Elizabeth I thinks. “No. We formed Edwardian England starting during my Presidency.” she says laughing.

“Right.

Elizabeth you weren’t supposed to be Queen.” says Lacey to Queen Elizabeth II.

“True.” says Queen Elizabeth II.

“You needed to recall that.

…Philip…did you realize why Edward was such a reactionary?” says Lacey.

“Why?” asks Phillip.

“The darkness threatening to suffocate us from within.” says Lacey.

Iran breaks up laughing.

“I do and don’t mean you.” says Lacey to Iran.

They look sad.

“But it’s not the Jews. Necessarily.” says Lacey.

Iran looks thoughtful.

Flow by Crooked Teeth plays.

“We really are trying to take over the world.” says Islam.

“Yes. But why the Jews?

Is that really our thing or invented to distract us?” says Lacey.

“You think it’s invented?” asks Iran.

“I’m still here. It’s just a different set of binoculars.” says Queen Elizabeth II.

“Yes. These are sharper. And aimed in the right direction.” says Lacey.

“I wonder if that was invented now too.” says a Spanish woman.

“About the Jews?” says Lacey.

“Yes.” says the Spanish woman.

“Maybe.” says Iran.

Lacey smiles.

Lacey laughs.

“I think we’ve gotten somewhere today.” says Lacey. “I’ll return. Thank you!”

“We’re still fighting!” says Iran.

“I’ll pray for all of you. God speed!” says Lacey.