(From May 21st, 2024)
What part of me being straight don’t you understand? Sincerely. …I look heterosexual. I sound heterosexual. Because I was and am. My act was just that. An act. It was not all that different than how Jack pretended to be straight. And actually Jack does look bisexual or gay. And he was.
That’s all. Every word I said, every single thing I did can be explained through the lens of me being heterosexual and never actually finding men attractive. Everything can be explained. EVERYTHING.
That’s just reality.
Get used to it.
Jacob and the Stone by Emile Mosseri & Sped-up + Slowed plays.
Truth is…I’ve never been happier. I’m with Lacey. And she’s a woman. Completely. Actually…she’s with me.
But…just in case you’re wondering…if I’m a liar…and a fraud…there are many other men who will love her. And they’re dead. But they’re real.
I’ve seen you torment her with life itself. The way I smoked and smiled and wore my clothes. Because I was loved and respected and cared for by people who were alive. And it’s a way of harming her. But she can’t commit suicide. So…what exactly are you hoping she’ll feel or do? Her father is Tom Banks. We’d have loved her. We do. We did. And we understand her feelings about humanity.
What are you expecting her to do?
“Yeah. I don’t get it.” says Lois Schurke. She knew Lacey before Lois died in 2013. She was close to Lacey’s family. And she is very irritated. “She can’t kill herself! So what- What do you want from her?”
“For her to feel bad.” says an actress in Hollywood.
“About what though!??” says Lois
Great Britain laughs. Rolls it’s eyes.
“Lois is right.
If there’s reincarnation I highly doubt she’s to blame. And if there isn’t…perhaps…well…she still isn’t to blame.” says Great Britain.
“She already feels bad. What more do you want from her!??” asks Lois.
“Jealousy?” says a living gay man. He shrugs.
Lois laughs. “She’s not a jealous person!”
“Good luck!” says Frieda Kahlo. “She’s not a jealous person. You will never get that from her.”
“Yeah. Somehow I don’t think that’s Lacey’s thing.” says an Indian man.
“I think we are shattered.
First of all…there’s proof of life after death. And for materialists and hateful atheists that’s humiliating and despair inducing.
Second of all…you can’t really fake being straight. Not really. Because people like Lacey exist. So…even if you can pass and fool people when you’re in danger…you’ll never really be straight. You’ll never really seem actually straight. If you are not straight. For real. And…for many of us…who like to feel superior or tremendously sexy…and powerful…it’s too humbling. We feel…shamed. And also…Lem being straight proves how little we really know. About each other. Or possibly how brainwashed we all are. How little we trust our own eyes.
And that leads into my next point. …We cherish our false history. Right? Like…we love our fake, happy lies. That Lem was gay is our ideal. Because it plays into the mythology that people can be madly in love with complete malignant narcissists and somehow be truly happy. And we love that lie. We celebrate that myth. Or what? That malignant narcissists can be good lovers and make healthy, lasting bonds and relationships without any intervention? Yes! That’s what we love. And it’s complete nonsense. But we like that! It makes us feel happy, for some reason.
And we cherish our mythology of JFK. That he was sexually powerful and mysterious. That he never was rejected ever. That he was hot and sexy and never had a care in the world. Could have anyone he wanted. Instantly! But…no. That’s mythical. It’s not real! …I’m pretty sure he was sexually rejected. And actually I bet it made him angry and mean. I bet he was violent on occasion.
And I’ve looked! …He’s not that hot. Okay!!? I’m sorry. He was cute, kinda. Like…okay. I’d sleep with him. And the money is impressive. But…umm…no. He’s not all that sexy. Without his hair done and the right clothes and without his sunglasses he’s not hot. He’s average or below average. …That’s reality. But we prefer the posed images and the lies.
Lem…looks straight. You can try to make him gay…but…we gave you too much. In the last 20 years. We have given you all way too much. If there’s an Illuminati. You all are poor. …Because you are needy with that one! Wow! …He looks straight. And we have always had to suspend belief to believe he was gay. Red Fay was saying that Lem didn’t seem gay. He made a point…of publicly saying that! Wow! …And I don’t think friends of mine can confirm my orientation. That’s gross! They might know…and they might not. There’s nothing normal about Lem Billings’s Wikipedia page. It’s criminal. But America isn’t as innocent as it pretends to be! …And…no…Red Fay was telling us to be careful. Red Fay was telling us that Lem wasn’t necessarily gay… At all? Mmm…maybe? Bisexual? Maybe. But not necessarily gay. For real. Not…necessarily. And…as a reader of this blog…I think…psychologically and based on how straight he reads as…and the way his ghost keeps telling her he was straight…that he was probably straight.
I don’t think…American men…understand non-American straight men. *He laughs.* So I have a question: Do you ever wonder if Putin is a homosexual?” says a (mostly) gay non-American perfume collector.
“How many gay men are slightly bisexual!??” asks a perfume collector.
“A LOT.” says the CIA.
“That’s one of the flaws with Sex And The City.” he muses. “They’re very biphobic.”
“Yes. We have wondered.” admits the CIA.
“Oh shit. Really?” asks a living gay perfume collector. He laughs. “He’s not!”
“Yeah. We’ve mostly figured that out.” says the CIA.
“So…you know…men do still find women attractive.” he says.
Awkward silence.
“Yeah! Still exists.” he says. “Ahh…maybe some Americans who are male…are the ones who are secretly closeted?”
“I’ve slept with Lacey! And Romy. And lots of people! …Our generation doesn’t understand it. It’s about love. Real love. …Or it’s nothing.” says Alain Delon. “It’s worse than nothing.”
“And what is real love?” says Lacey. “Wow! That’s an old question. But it’s still relevant. Possibly it’s more relevant today then ever before. And it’s a beautiful and excruciatingly painful…question…to answer fully and honestly.”
“Exactly.” says Alain Delon.
“My GOD!” yells a dead Pope. He suddenly freaks out as he understands Lacey’s profound dilemma and anguish.
Keen to Cross the Pond 