“I Donated Lem”

“I am the priest who molested Lem.

I sent him to Choate because I worked in coordination with that school. All the way back in the 1930s. This is before anything in the 1980s happened at that school.

There were some very evil people who are either Satanists in the Illuminati if there is one, or who were heartless and ruthless, and thought that it made sense, whether they were poor or rich, to harm children. So the idea was to send kids who were being molested by me to Choate to sort of liven things up.

I sent Lem there or I recommended that he be given the scholarship…totally behind closed doors. And no his family wouldn’t have known about it! No one would have. It would’ve appeared that they were giving it to them for other reasons, but there might’ve been one or two other boys they would’ve given it to instead…but they chose him because I put a word in for him edgewise. Just because he was so lovable and handsome. So…perfectly wonderful to destroy.

So they might have chosen him too. I don’t know. His family was sort of prestigious…but the idea was that he was sexually confused, and I knew that because I could tell that. I twisted his brain into knots so I sent him to the school, thinking that he was going to probably be a very disrespectful, belligerent asshole in a way, but also sort of bring homosexuality and perversion into the school in a way that was still innocent. At the time people were more innocent. People are possibly more evil or less evil now. Maybe both. Maybe more evil now, but at the time it was like it was- He was still innocent, but he was going to make things a lot more interesting, right!? Ha. And then boys like like Jack would be able to-to-to-to rape him because he was so confused so he’d be an asset to the school for boys-boys like Jack who would be able to go there and bring lots of money because he-he was confused, so he was sort of like a sex slave. So he wasn’t like a sex slave…but in a sense he was a sex slave. He was a child but he was supposed to be one of the confused, hot kids who weren’t really even gay.

You know? …Because a lot of gay guys like raping straight men. It’s a fantasy. Because they’re perverted fucks in a lot of cases…and they’re jealous of straight men…and so they have an obsession with sexually attacking straight men. That’s not just something that’s treatment. No, imagine! That’s real! A lot of gay men are sexually violent towards straight men because they genuinely hate them and I-I used that to try to make…money. And get power.

I used the lambs confusion that I created when he was 13 to bolster up the status of Choate. There were some good people there running the school, but to be honest a lot of people knew and just looked the other way. It wasn’t originally that evil of a school but it started to go downhill in the 1800s. And so they started cutting corners like a lot of other businesses do as they are crumbling. Like it’s a little you know ahh evil…and no, they started cutting corners and…I’ve got to be honest with you one thing that’s really devastating to me is that I can talk to Lacey.

I am…wow. I can’t talk to most people. It has nothing to do with Lem at all and it’s just disturbing, because I kind of like her.

I don’t wanna tell you this but the honest truth is…if she’s been in my parish and she’d been dating him I don’t think I would’ve molested him, personally. Why? Because I’m terrified of her! Ha! And I have a very strong sense that if I’d known her, she would’ve hunted me down…even if I broke her neck while she was still alive and vulnerable. And it’s all scary to think that- See when you’re a-a priest knowing that something is going to come after you possibly for eternity? So that would’ve kind of dissuaded me from molesting Lem but then beyond that I would’ve just liked her and I would’ve thought, ‘So, I don’t. I don’t even know if I like the idea.’ Because she’ll kick my ass for like 400 years, at least or I’ll just go to Hell. But I kind of just think she’s nice so maybe I won’t even do it, right? But she wasn’t there, so anyway getting back to what I was explaining.

I worked with Choate. I gave them lamb. He was trafficked, essentially, and if his family hadn’t lost their fortune in the Stock Market Crash I would’ve been a little worried and I might not have molested him, but I think I thought that because they lost their money that that was some proof that they were somehow safe to attack. Turns out that was not true.

Honestly, if it wasn’t for her it might be true to some degree unfortunately except for God will punish me. But with her attached- And why is she attached? …But with her attached they’re one of the most scary families I’ve ever encountered in my entire existence. How about that?” says a dead Episcopalian priest who molested Lem Billings.

“So turns out that my brother and I aren’t the same guy according to Roger Sterling.

I’m mostly gay.

They started just calling me faggot around the office. The Sterling Cooper office that’s fictional but they all call me The Faggot. And some people think I’m more gay than Sal, even though he’s more more gay than me, but they think that somehow more gay.

I’m so diehard in my homosexuality that even though I am attracted to women they say that what I lack in orientation I pick up for in hatred and zeal. So I am The Faggot. But I also think they can’t stand me…and they’re trying to find some way to explain to me that I’m not straight because…I still think I am.” says JFK.

“Jack is this before or after you ceased to exist in January?” asks a reader.

“Before.” says Jack.

“So…so you think that you’re straight Jack? Has-has anything sexual happened with Lane Pryce or not so much?” asks NBC.

“Oh no, a lot has happened! A lot has happened! We shared a soda.

He didn’t know that I was sharing it with him, but I shared it with him, and I mean he had to have tasted of my spit.

Ahh…at one point he opened the door for me. He didn’t know it was me, but then he turned around and sat with me and I just stood there and thought wow if I was just- And we had sex because I smelled his cologne. And I’m just like you open the door for me!? Oh my gosh that’s sexy! I mean it’s just like he open the door…and then he just kept walking after he saw me…but he was just like there. And he open the door! And I was just like wow!” says JFK.

“So Jack I just wanted to ask you- This is just- This is- You’re- These are your actual thoughts? This is what you really think?” asks a reader.

“Yeah duh! I mean isn’t what you say? Like duh! Like yes!?” says JFK.

“So..so you- So cute! So you just…you just think it’s really attractive or something? Huh…so why would he be-

Why does an opening up the door mean absolutely anything?” asks Africa.

“Because he, he knew. I mean it’s like a sexual-there’s like a sexual thing-like the energy-like he was there and then I came there…and then I was there…and I felt it.” says JFK.

“You’re very dumb and backward sexually Jack and I personally blame that on your father but I’m just curious: Did Lem being at Choate and being as confused as he was-is that part of-part of the reason you’re so backward and like developmentally delayed psychologically?” asks Choate.

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about.

No…you be as deep and sophisticated and intelligent as I am…and you analyze sexual energy and consent from my perspective…as JFK and then you come back at me and you tell me that I’m crazy and that I am backward after understanding what I understand!” yells JFK.

“You’re very backward, you’re very stupid Jack. It’s sad. It’s actually quite funny. People are laughing at you. And I have a feeling there is a Survival of The Fittest view at Choate, or was. And at the time the idea was to sort of test those boys. It was evil but also brutal with a purpose not just pure evil and destruction.

But the idea, the problem is you were telling us something else. We’ll get back to all of this but you were telling us something else about about your brother. What is it about your brother?” says Choate.

“Oh OK so they call me The Faggot at Sterling Cooper but come to find out the reason they think I’m homosexual- And my-my brother Joe experienced very similar things with men. I mean he had anal sex with roommates at Harvard and I’m pretty sure that he had sex a few times with men when he was in England. I mean he had a lot of what they call gay sex…umm…and I mean Joe is really straight. He’s-he’s my hero to some degree…even though he’s my older brother so we can’t possibly be gay. But it’s weird…because it doesn’t bother him at all.

It’s like he just is-like, ‘I don’t care.’ He’s just like, ‘I don’t care.’ I don’t know why. I don’t understand why he’s not more embarrassed by it. I am-I am morbidly embarrassed by my adventuresome interest in the physical body.

I mean it’s just- I’m not gay. I’m curious. And everyone used to say that about me. They said, ‘Jack you’re so curious!’

I was incredibly curious man! I’ve got an IQ of 170 something according to a lot of people! I’d be like a rocket scientist. I mean that Steve analyzed me and they think I have an IQ of like over 170! I mean no one‘s ever put me below 130. I mean…my gosh according to a lot of analysis I am a genius…so I’m not too worried.

But let me tell you something: My brother Joe is so superior to me in a way and they say, ‘I don’t believe it completely!’ But that’s what they say but he’s-he’s not embarrassed by it you know he’s just not embarrassed. But just like Jack? I just do it, I get lost in it. I get confused by it at times and yet I think he falls in love with the man and gets kind of silly about him you know like how some people get about women. And it’s like OK well that’s fine but then it’s like why-why is he? Why is he more embarrassed by it, it’s just so weird.” says JFK.

“Well I have a feeling- I’m aware that he’s not straight in some subconscious way and so he’s experimenting or experiencing homosexuality and getting into gay relationships. And he is probably what what people would call bisexual, Jack. Are you bisexual? Jack no you aren’t. So then you’re just embarrassed by it but he’s not and that’s weird to you?” asks Choate.

“Yeah…I mean it’s just weird because you’re not really supposed to do that, you’re supposed to be with women. I know that! I mean that’s just normal. But it’s a dirty little secret…is what I thought. And apparently some men don’t experience that almost at all. No I mean apparently some men like Wayne Price are cis…and is not in love with me. So…I am so nervous, and I think he’d like to throw me in the Hell and rip me apart. And then no I mean…I’m having a really fun time hanging out at Sterling Cooper.

He’s not being mean. But I’m not-I’m not a homosexual.

There was a guy who was there though in the office who was like kind of a little bit like them, but I could tell he was poor and he was like from West Virginia or something and he came on to me in the coffee room he did he came on to me. He’s like, ‘OK when I go wanna go get a bite?’ Like a bite. Like what the fuck…what the fuck sick bastard!? Go get a fucking bite and bring a bit of fun. Right? Like…you- That’s like-like wow. No, I mean, you can’t do that! So like that’s just-

I mean I’m sure as Hell…not gonna bite someone…during sex.

So no…I mean it’s just like he came on to me. …He was like, ‘You want to get a bite!?’ Fuck that bastard! I’m not gonna bite you. So-so that is just like…pervert alert! Geez.

So pervert, alert, pervert, alert! I’m not gonna bite him. Shit!

So no…I mean it’s just like…no…I’m not gonna fuck. I’m not gonna fucking do that. No fuck you bitch. I’m not gonna do that. Fuck you.

*Jack is egged on by people’s laughter. *

Like fuck, you fuck you pervert! Fuck you fucking pervert! You pervert alert! Who bite someone during sex, pervert?! Like fuck, fuck you bite me? I bite you back! But it has nothing to do with sex! Jackass, fucking jackass.

So anyway, I-I just was like no and he walked away. But no I mean it’s like, you know, I guess he’s trying to scoop me up right!? …Like I am ice cream.

So hey Peggy, there is no price of virginity in China or Japan. Or is there…in Japan? There is in Japan. But there isn’t in China! So do you know why? It’s because the Chinese are sloppy and stupid compared to the Japanese, Bobby.

So if there’s reincarnation, you suck shit, Bobby.

Oh, so anyway…umm…but that’s it. That’s-that’s if there’s reincarnations so if there’s not reincarnation, we ain’t got nothing to worry about.

Oh so um-So there’s a lot of important people who work at Mad Men and Lane Pryce is there. Aww!! And he’s straight!? No. And I know he’s a liar. I know he’s lying. I know he is. I can tell obviously he’s lying. I know he’s lying to me. I know he’s lying to me, but it was just that he was having fun at Sterling Cooper.

With me!!!

…So much fun and it’s just…Don is is is is funny and Joan is weird and creepy and Betty is sick and barely ever there.

I can’t stand even look at her. She’s just a bitch but most the secretaries other than Joan and Betty are really cool. I’ve screwed about five of them, so that’s what my father taught me to do. So I have screwed about five secretaries because I’m JFK and they’re impressed by me. But then, but then Joe and I don’t get along very well and Peggy is barely ever there and Roger’s wife keeps trying to feed me stuff…and I don’t know why…but it smells weird. And then I just am like what is she doing? She’s trying to make me throw up?” says JFK.

“So you’re in some sort of world where it’s actually like real…but it’s like the television show?” says Choate.

“Yeah…yeah it’s pretty cool. Oh so I mean it’s just-it’s like I don’t know. Maybe we like Lane Pryce and we want to get married.“ says JFK.

“So we had no idea that you are the way you are?” asks Choate.

“I am a light-hearted, loving fun person who likes to make people laugh is what Joe just told me to tell you because she said that-that’s a that’s-that’s how I make people laugh the way that I’m making people laugh right now because I made people laugh. I make people laugh all the time, it’s my specialty.” says JFK.

“But you seemed so witty Jack?” asks Choate. “While you were alive.”

“All I would usually do is just tell puns. It’s like you kind of think about what people are laughing at or what they could laugh about and then you just make fun of it so it’s like with Marylin she was crass and gross and disgusting the way that she sang to me. I mean it was supposed to turn me on and it did but it was also really inappropriate. So I was just like wow that was fucking shit dumbass bitch…but I said it in a way that was like clever and witty so it’s like oh that dumbass fucking bitch? You don’t say that. You say, ‘Oh that was the most wholesome thing I’ve ever heard in my life!’ because that’s how you do it. You make fun of people, and be like sarcastic. They call it being sarcastic. I was just being really sarcastic the way that I said it.” says JFK.

“So you-you don’t you’re not trying to you’re not trying to be witty Jack?” says Choate.

“No I’m being very, I’m very witty course I’m witty.” says Jack.

Sneaker Pimps, “Six Underground” plays.

Jack walks down the hall. People throw paper airplanes at his head. He laughs. Is he autistic? No. Lem dumbed him down to profound stupidity. He’s almost retarded and he’s close to pure evil.

He stops and dances. Impromptu. Laughs. Feels like the center of attention.

And at that Lane walks by and sucker punches him in gut. While he’s dancing. He bends over in pain. Crumbles to the ground in pain.

Lies in a fetal position on the ground.

Pete comes by and kicks in his skull.

His body is picked-up by the local mafia. As a collector’s item.

“Happy New Years!” says Lane Pryce to Roger Sterling.

And at that JFK ceases to exist. Roger the character is stunned by how repulsive Jack the actual man actually was.

Will Jack reappear. Only God knows.

Later.

“Do you want to know why we kicked the shit out of JFK?” says Lane.

“Yes!” says Lacey.

“Because Dr. Moritz was making a point and then the Kennedys being the Kennedys decided to interrupt it to try to have a conversation about themselves because they’re obsessed with getting attention anywhere and everywhere they can get it. And the point that was being made was that social class wasn’t an issue in America of the utmost importance at the forefront of a perilous, awful situation such as you are in right now. Ahh…but they made it that. The Kennedys made it that. The Kennedys turned the social structure of America into the end of America, potentially.

Do you understand what I’m saying? There wasn’t a problem in the US when it came to who was rich and who was poor and who is middle-class and who was old money. There wasn’t a problem.

And then Lem decided for some reason to be in the Kennedy family, as a sort of scapegoat and bizarre member. And he had absolutely no damn right if I may say that to be with those people at all. It’s not even like that! No, you shouldn’t have done it. I don’t think you personally-I don’t think you had a right to be there.

Being there is so unfathomably offensive to all of humanity, considering who you are and the sort of man that you could’ve been that I don’t think you had a right to be there.

I think that you should’ve realized if you’re telling us the truth and you were straight and you were being attacked that your only option was to strike back. It’s like when kids are kidnapped or when they’re attacked in the street. You needed to get over yourself and realize that you weren’t a spoiled rich, privileged, sheltered brat anymore. and if it’s not that then I’m sorry maybe you just couldn’t handle it was happening to you, but I doubt that. You’re very tough. So I think what happened is that you wanted to still live in some delusional world where dad had his money and always well and that’s very immature and pathetic but it’s also very human. And I don’t think you could handle the reality of what was happening. And it really comes down to that. I think-I think you really were spoiled brat, growing-up. I think you were a very lovable, sweet, spoiled brat.

Oh, and I think because you were so spoiled by parents that may or may not have an excuse that you were not psychologically capable of processing that the money was really gone, and there was no more money left then almost at all. There was enough, but there wasn’t much. So I think in your shellshocked delusional, state out of pain will say if we’re giving you an excuse, you just kept thinking that somehow you could still keep going. And even if the money wasn’t there, I think you thought the social class money still was and you did have social class it was higher, but I think you thought that somehow the social class money itself was still there.

It wasn’t it was gone. And so there was nothing protecting you anymore from people coming at you. You couldn’t be as daring as you wanted to be. You couldn’t afford it.

I so what you needed to do was probably be a heck of a lot more careful about who you were friends with. And frankly someone should’ve realized that the scholarship was suspicious. The scholarships are rarely ever for free.

So, or were. Ahh…back then they were that was suspicious.

So I think you were vulnerable and you needed to know that about yourself even if you still had clout, you didn’t have clout. And you needed to not assume that things were safe. I would be if I was if I had been advising you I would’ve advised you to be very careful about who you talked to at all. so no, you should not have talked to Jack Kennedy or really anyone who was on the sexual I also don’t understand why you sexually experimented to figure that out that’s a very dumb way to do it. I mean certainly to find out something but maybe not because if you know anything about love, you know that there’s a certain element of push and pull involved, so could you somehow have been fooled into thinking you were gay yes, very easily.

And if we understood you correctly, that’s what happened, so I don’t see how-I don’t see how you were responsible with yourself because to me you seem like a very careless, reckless, incredibly sheltered young man. Oh and I don’t see how you don’t understand what a total screwup you really were. And with someone like Lacey I would be very careful about being self-righteous about issues of sex and maybe a lot of other things too if you know yourself better or something but definitely sex. I would speak this harshly if I didn’t think that highly of you.

And I’m sorry that I had to say that.

You put yourself in harm’s way. And don’t give me that nonsense of oh I didn’t want to have to kill Jack. Oh, I didn’t wanna have to bother trying to figure out some plan of self-defense, or just let him die. You needed to let him die you needed to kill him you needed to get him out of your hair. Your personal protection was of the upmost importance.

I think you were brainwashed by a lot of American, who, ha. It’s not that we as Christians shouldn’t care about people or that we shouldn’t take care of each other. It’s that you can’t go around willy-nilly babysitting other people’s children when you’re a child yourself. You can’t assume that when someone attacks you that it’s safe to not double down in return. You needed to let him die.

But I think you were an immature kid and I don’t think you fully understood.

Not as immature as some people are by a long-shot, but immature.

And see now your living wife is having to clean this up for you. That must be despair inducing as a man and it’s absolutely disgusting to even watch.

No you needed to let him die and you know if you actually did have something to do with his assassination I don’t know why I should even have to say this to you. You needed to just let him die. You needed to let him die, you needed to leave him alone and honestly, I don’t think you should’ve joined the military. I think his father helped you right? And then that’s why you don’t do it, that’s why you just act like I’m the weak loser that you are who’s incapable of defending himself around a short little piece of fucking shit like Jack Kennedy and you don’t fight.

I think you were spoiled. And I think you realized that about yourself and started to hate yourself and let yourself go when you were in your 40s or 50s. Oh, but you know I still don’t understand why you played along at all I get the fear of reprisal and I think I do I get that, but I don’t fully comprehend why you left such a tarnished name behind. Were your parents just terrible people? Did you have no respect for yourself at all? Because as a British person who thinks like Lacey, which may mean that somehow you’re not even though you have a British name as British she is, if there’s not reincarnation…the Kennedys are impressive, but are not at all impressive at the same time. They are arguably the most lower class, trashy, obnoxious people to ever have that amount of power in all of history that I am aware of. And and so there’s a part of us that doesn’t understand it we get why you care but only to a point and then it just seems it’s it’s it’s it’s hard to believe you. It’s hard to believe that you were straight. It’s hard to believe you. And it’s hard to believe that you could’ve really sacrificed yourself for such a pathetic group of people.

Because they really are totally pathetic and they’ve immortalized you as this sort of buffoon. it never occurred to you because it would have occurred to a lot of people that it’s irresponsible and immoral of you to let yourself be immortalized as this sort of total psychotic jackass. No there’s this disgusting It’s you were absolutely a disappointing dishonorable disgusting, putrid human being in that way.

So if you were straight and if you’re worth a damn what do you have to say for yourself??” says Lane.

Silence.

“I’m waiting, speak up!” says Lane.

“I have a very hard time talking because every time I open my mouth to say something Bobby Kennedy, Junior interrupts me. His spirit does or Satan uses him literally to take away my words.” says Lem. “I just wanted to say that.

What time do say for myself? I was spoiled. I was immature. I was very compassionate, and I had a very sheltered view of the world.

I was trying to help I thought I could save them. How did I not realize how dumb that was because nobody in that family was attractive enough to sort of capture my awareness. I thought that they were umm…I thought they were a real swell family in their own way and I thought you know…you know they’re just kind of they’re just kind of new and fresh and rich and different. And believe it or not I really was trying to help them.

I thought that they were really in need of help, and I was going to be the one to guide them.” says Lem.

“You’re pathetic. This is the most demoralizing idiotic display a man has ever done possibly in almost all of human history for a woman.” says Lane. “This makes me wish that humans had never been created and yet I am one and I want to be one, but you make me feel that way about our own species.

And I’m not say you don’t have excuses. I’m not saying that you don’t have a right to be with her. I’m not God, I don’t see your heart. I don’t know what you went through. I don’t know how good of a person you were and how hard you really were trying to be a good man. But in context of what she’s living through and the absurdity of it all, and your unfathomable incapability of doing a damn loving thing to help her even in this conversation, it’s it it’s extraordinarily upsetting and demoralizing.” says Lane.

“Lem why were you helping them? I don’t understand why you thought you were Pocahontas. It’s just a stupidest fucking thing I think I’ve ever seen.” says Roger.

“He would say that, but I think he means that. You do seem absurd.” says Lane.

“I believed in what I thought they were going to be.” says Lem.

“What the fuck did you think they were going to be?” says Bert.

“Yeah! And then this this was this this is the risk that you took putting your children and her and the entire world through this…is the risk you took so what the hell did you think they were going to be?” asks Lane.

“I thought they were going to be a new generation.” says Lem.

“A new generation of what!?” says Lane.

“Of Americans bringing about egalitarianism.” says Lem.

“How bored were you?” asks Lane.

“Very bored.” says Lem.

“Then why the fuck did you smile so much!?” asks Don.

“I was trying to be gay I was trying to be homosexual and I thought that was appropriate. I was trying to be umm…what I thought I gay men would be.” says Lem.

“You know you look like a clown and it’s really fucking obvious that you’re probably not really a homosexual to me I have no idea how Americans are that stupid.” says Lane. “I’m testing you slightly. I might not really know whether or not you are not but to be honest with you you don’t look gay is that offensive to you?” says Lane.

“No.” says Lem.

“ you do look absolutely idiomatic if it if I know you were straight because I just asked God to reveal it to me you do actually look quite idiotic. You don’t look like a real homosexual. You look like a farcical version of one. And to be honest with you that’s part of Lacey and Anne and my frustration with you but I imagine they have to be a lot of other people who feel the same way who are probably not American but maybe but I doubt it you are you see like you wish so much absolutely nothing, because if somebody could be dumb enough to think that you’re gay when all you’re doing is sucking their cock and they come from an extraordinarily wealthy family that could kill you or kill kill you could be killed I’m not saying this very well getting tired or Laceyz but that’s the thing they give you if we’re hearing you correctly, they were threatening your life and so then you sucked his cock because he was threatening your life so you sucked his cock because he was threatening your life and then you look like a clown and not a real gay man. You don’t look gay it is so obvious that you’re not gay.

And then these buffoons are harassing us right now and they don’t seem to even realize Caroline Bobby everyone of that dumb ass family doesn’t seem to realize that you’re not gay you have reasons your reasons are obnoxious but it all in all actuality they make more sense than you being gay because you really don’t seem sad enough at his wedding to be human unless if you were straight.

And there are other other reasons to why I and Lacey both know almost for a fact that you were we don’t know for a fact we were quite sure you were straight I might cry might know for a fact, because I’m not in a fallen world I have a fictional character based very closely on real people, but that and I may actually be a real person at this point, but that’s the thing is astounding and heartbreaking to Lacey now that the Kennedys never seem to understand That you weren’t gay and they just endlessly harass Lacey and act so high and mighty and all the money in posh when really they’re almost broke and they look awful. They’re just despicable people and I mean that respectfully to the poverty but they’re just gross-they’re gross peasant freaks.

That being said things to them a lot of things that are very old are still in style because we’ve never been able to move past the 1960s things to their bullshit and Foodery. We have never been able things to there unspeakably disgusting hold their stranglehold on our brains, we have never been able to move past the 1950s and 60s and create anything of value for the world, because they are arguably the most trashy, worthless disgusting people to ever exist when it comes to leader ship, I’m not saying that there’s not people who’ve been far more evil are you there should have said disgusting, but they are definitely one of the trashiest. I’m grasping for words to describe their absolute worthlessness to humanity in my opinion.

And we have you to thank for that, so thanks so much for allowing us to never move past the 1960s. We have now been able to enjoy that era for decades because we’ve never been able to think of anything better.

No, we’re still really the 90s in the 80s it’s just weird you have to understand the pace of fashion was dramatically light years away in terms of speed right there was light years compared to how slow it’s moved in the last 50 to 60 years. And then you have this dumb ass jack ass Bobby running for president why the fuck didn’t you just kill him from heroin I don’t think you had a right to be there Lem. I don’t think you had any damn right to be there.

So I’m just I’m just curious. Um, Lacey and I are our actual compassionate people. How do you think people get saved them so well wishes and thank you notes?” asks Lane.

“ no I I was actually compassionate.” says Lem.

“ all right well that’s enlightening to me a ball what what we don’t understand is how you thought you were being helpful to them the most helpful thing you could’ve done would have been to understand their actual lowliness and treat them as actual lowly people what in your Nobilis of liege, old money, aristocratic mind if you have one did you think you were doing that was helpful?” asks Lane.

“ I thought that I was giving them insight and taking care of their son not as a lover, per se, as I would say no but more as a sort of fun, or a sort of nurse, but not really a nurse, but basically as a nurse, the sort of care, give her a sort of them so I’d like a personal assistant, or a maid of LA is sort of a sort of right hand man.” says Lem,

“ have you been that successful at helping Lacey?” asks Lane.

“ no, I’ve been the opposite.” says Lem.

“ don’t expect me to have respect for you, then as a man.” says Lane.

“ no I understand that I completely ruined my reputation in a way by associating with them.” says Lem. “what was I doing there? What do you want me to say?”

“ oh, Lacey is not like this. I have done plenty of men who are I have actual memories I’m a very deep fictional character. I have quite a personality so in order to maintain that personality I have to have for memories of being in Britain. What? What what were you what what? What prayed you tell were you doing?” says Lane.

“ I believed that they were inferior. I’ll just bought off nonsense and if any of it holds weight will edit this later or even you can keep it but keep it or take it. I thought they were pieces of shit Irish people. I thought they were bumbling alcoholic buffoons, and I fancied myself a bit like Jane Addams of Hull house. I thought it was a sort of social worker assigned by God, potentially, or some state to sort of babysit them and give them a sort of a helping hand as a sort of missionary, like Saint Patrick to the dumb ass, worthless piece of shit, Irish people that they were in my imagination.

I thought they were ugly annoying and stupid. I made fun of them and part of that was because I was so lonely because I was straight. And I I was lonely because I was a straight. I was lonely because I was straight and so I would make fun of them and mock them in front of their face because I didn’t think that they would know the difference and they didn’t. And I didn’t think that they would know that I was serious when I would say things like you couldn’t find someone to take you, Jack I didn’t think that they would be smart enough to see through the humor and realize that I was serious and then I thought they were totally stupid. He would he would tease me back, and I wasn’t a total asshole about it, but he was actually joking I was not entirely just joking. So what I said I actually meant and no one seems to pick up on that intentionally possibly this is why I’m irritated with him at it. No one seems to pick up on the fact that I was serious. It should be obvious sometimes I was joking, and sometimes I was slightly joking, mostly serious, and sometimes I was actually just telling the truth, and you would think that some of these biographers would realize that I actually was being sincere But they never do and I think it’s because I do it so much in my letters that it begins to see him like I’m not just some cute flipping gay man who’s flirting and then I’m actually depressing amazing amounts of rage and hatred for Jack. Which is true I was I actually thought he was annoying and Jim and I would be very hard for him to find a woman who actually marry him. A lot of these stories bunch of the Mary Grace Kelly he could’ve married Gene Tierney our total bullshit those women women married him. You honestly think Grace Kelly would’ve married Jack oh, get real no Grace Kelly would’ve never married Jack.

He was scrawny. He had health problems and his family was too fucking backward to realize that Grace Kelly knew he was gay. There is no way that she was ever going to marry him paternal is lawyers are like who she was going to marry, him know she wasn’t gonna marry him. She’s incredibly beautiful. She was sleeping with a lot of very handsome Hollywood man I didn’t know she was capable of not getting pregnant and having a lot of sex. Which is because she calculated that she calculated the day she calculated that you put a lot of effort into it, and she also had abortions so she had abortions. She put effort into it, and they use condoms, and so she was capable of staying skinny, and seeming to hear it is it and meanwhile she’ll be having sex every week or every couple of days with different men no there was no way she was ever going to marry Jack at least 23 and then we’re in love with her at the same time, and she was feasting on male attention and love, and a lot of those men are really quite attractive. She had no interest in marrying Jack why did she go for a prince because he was Pladevall sexually, I have a feeling he probably was good and bad and she’s been with so many good looking men that you could’ve been deep enough as a person to be over it and think I’ve had so much sex with so many good looking men, but I’m starting to think that if they’re not good and bad, it’s not worth it so applaudable Prince had sexual charisma and was good and bad it was a prince. Yeah, of course you marry him it wasn’t just that she had someone finally to take home to her family. That’s what America says distance of the app to feel hurt by the fact that she didn’t marry Jack. No America’s heard that she did Mary Jack Kennedy. At least we are now we have bad and so they make up some bullshit story. Oh she finally found someone she just couldn’t find someone she’s been digging around for 10 years in Hollywood and she just couldn’t find a damn man. No that’s not true. She had plenty of options but she chose, she chose to be with prince rainier

Yeah, but that’s the kind of bullshit that that you people pole there wasn’t and people believe it and it’s actually quite dangerous for them to believe it this country because you’ve dumb people down in a way that isn’t really sane to do a population of people. There was no way Jack was going to Mary Grace Kelly, because she was never going to take him. Gene Tierney would’ve never married him either no famous beautiful, hot woman that he was supposedly sleeping with, would’ve ever married him. He may have believed that he may have told people that, but it was not true. That does it mean that he wasn’t capable of hurting me if I was actually gay and I wasn’t and I wasn’t I was straight at and I wasn’t no straight and I wasn’t I was straight but but no he he really wasn’t the sex god that people have thought that he was. And if there’s reincarnation, I am sorry to say he is a rather backward, a rather backward, a Japanese man. If there’s not reincarnation, it’s interesting that he somehow has become more relatable to us and that way, but if there is the know that’s actually who he was and that’s some thing they’ll have to sort through at this point but no he was not aware, necessarily that he was as backward as he was, which is actually sort of sad and that could be why God might bring him back if he hasn’t ceased to exist for eternity. but no grace Kelly was not going to marry him. Jean Tierney was never going to marry him a lot of women we’re never going to bury him. I think Eagle Arvad might have been in love with him to appoint I think she might’ve been they might’ve said that more than people realize to appointment, but one of my favorite things to say, but he he he he thought she was in love with him if people thought that high I think people imagine them having really great sex. I don’t know that they did but they did have some sex I think and I think that they probably I think they probably were somewhat in love. I think that she was probably the best she could do in many ways, his entire life and some regards, but I don’t. I’m not I’m not 100% convinced that she was as taken with him as people think.

She was very tricky. She actually was possibly all of this is a Theater tease me too. She actually might have really slept with Hitler. Yeah, no one talks about that people assume that Hitler only slept with his niece or some thing is it no people saying there’s no historical evidence why would there be every time there is some historical evidence who don’t wanna still want to think about it like adults when they’re analyzing this because people that are analyzing it, or rather immature unfortunately, in many cases. No there’s evidence that Inga slept with Hitler on multiple occasions really don’t think she interviewed him and then they slept together before afterward. Yeah they probably did. She probably slept with him at some point um, so no, Hitler slept with Inga Arvad most likely and jack both, so maybe Jack does have a fan who’s famous after all? And who is that Adolf Hitler? But maybe not maybe it’s the other way around and Jack just was secretly crushing on eight off I don’t know I’m am I joking I was being serious but no he he actually probably did sleep with anger and Adolf was probably sleeping with a lot of other women too.

What else he he really was actually rather hard to get laid. Him he really wasn’t as attractive as people make him out to be here, but he really was called a rat face when he was young for a reason. So how do I get him laid well yeah I mean I had to try and I had to try I had to I had to try. I had to try really hard, kill prostitutes, and the a lot of women that would throw themselves at him yes, that might not actually have been entirely fabricated, but that being said a lot of those people what’s the weather more insane him and then some of them were not I’m not serious in a lot of them maybe we’re not because they were married or they were probably there with friends and I don’t think that a lot of those women were necessarily really actually trying to sleep with him. And that’s the thing that pisses me off even more. How do you think I figured out who is available? Do you really think gay men? Are that good at figuring that out for their straight friends? They’re not it’s actually quite difficult to figure out when women are interested. Some gay men may be able to sense that I will get Howard that a good number of them are probably bisexual if they can pick up on that yeah and then I wasn’t gay at all but no, it’s really not that easy at times to tell, but I could tell because I was looking for that myself subconsciously him a Lotta women have an interest in Lacey. She never knows and she’s not stupid. It really might not be the easiest thing to tell but as a straight man I could tell so I was sort of like his seeing-eye dog so I would you know Help on it with women at bars or women that we would see in different places everywhere I was like oh no they were definitely asleep with you and then I would sort of encourage him and their direction and sometimes I did that with movie stars him edit him boys how dumb is that but I would say oh no you should try to do. You should try to sleep with Grace Kelly, and then it’s like yeah I mean I would like to but at the same time I wouldn’t Innoway but she’s good looking and then it’s like OK so I guess she’s interested in you and I’m gay and I don’t really even know that I would want to sleep with her necessarily anyway but it it’s not like it’s an unappealing idea so he would sort of and I’m not really exaggerating. Bobby probably thinks I am I’m not can you please try to can you keep the people there listening and reading this block her and illuminati if it exists, could you please try to grow up?

He needed help at times and so I would say you should sleep with Grace Kelly and then he would do it and they get sidetracked and he think Wyatt you know sick why am I with her it’s so because you found her attractive right you were interested he’s like well yeah add 800 maybe he expected me to be hurt but I wasn’t but then at the same time I don’t think he understood human emotions and how things would affect people so he thought maybe he just can’t get hurt so it’s like he’s a big, burly guy I guess he’s too hunky physically to get hurt when I sit with other women.

Oh so no, I mean he’ll be sleeping with lots of people and no he would get so confused they be together for a month or two and then and then he would be like why am I doing this and it’s like because you’re you’re in love with her I guess you’re interested in her and he’d be like no I’m not I just wanna get out And I would be like OK well, then just move on and he feels like I can’t. I can’t move on and I think then why are we talking about this and it would just be back and forth and up and down with him it was like he had some sort of disorder and I don’t mean like narcissism I mean it was like bizarre to me because I thought why can’t he just move on Because it’s like he would be with these people and then he lose interest or get bored or something but I’m starting to think that he just constantly couldn’t process what was happening with these people and then he think I think I am done or something and it’s like no you’re in a relationship with Grace Kelly now and he’d be like what the heck and then that’s where That’s where I would I would just tell myself I’m gay I can’t be in a relationship with her. I wouldn’t really want to be anyway I might’ve had it in my head that I was going to marry some woman who is not that attractive because I was deep, and I could find lots of people attractive to, but I wasn’t I was never prepared for what he was dealing with because I wasn’t experiencing myself. I had no idea he was picking up women that I could’ve theoretically slept with him, but he didn’t have the ability to sleep with himself, and so I gave him way too much to cognitively understand so he would be thinking you know I’m with Grace Kelly you know Lamb hooked me up, I was Grace Kelly Lem’s hooked me up I was Grace Kelly Lem’s hooked me up with, but he didn’t give me any credit so he’s like I’m with Grace Kelly you know and dumb it’s going really well she’s in love with me and then he was like what the fuck is going on?

I was like you’re with your with Grace Kelly you’re dating Grace Kelly and he was like no he does I guess so yeah but then why kind of you know and it was like because you’re dating Grace Kelly and you know and then it’s like I guess, I should end things with her so he would Know and then and then shit would be like we don’t shoot why can’t you date this other person now and he kind of be like well because because you know him big because because I’m still hung up on Grace Kelly, I know the whole time he be getting service by me and I wasn’t in love with him And him saying oh no, you know I am still in love with you wouldn’t have I mean come the fuck on you really think they’re that good looking you really honestly think they’re that special they’re not there were a lot of people who were equally fascinated if I was into the money maybe but that isn’t love it yeah it’s not possible that I could’ve been that happy at his wedding and so no it was like you know him I don’t know why he’s in love with me because I’m not in love with him and I guess he’s in love with me, but right now. Oh now that we’re not together But I guess you know his I don’t know why he thinks he’s in love with. I guess he’s in love with me I guess I guess we’re in love, but no at the end of the day I guess we’re together to appoint if if if nothing works out with someone else But no, I mean you can call me as fuck buddy you could call me as friends with benefits you could call me his pickle jar or some thing is dick in a box but I really wasn’t I was more I don’t know what I don’t know what the hell was going on in his head I don’t know if he was in love with me, and he was in love with Grace Kelly at the same time, or if he was in love with different people at different moments or if maybe he was never in love with anyone at all. I kind of trying to think that’s more what it is that he was never really ever in love with anybody other than maybe Jackie maybe OK maybe anger and maybe me he might’ve been in love with me, but I don’t. I’m not convinced of that. I honestly think it’s far more likely that he was well that he was probably in love with Jackie. Oh he did marry her and there was some something there where I don’t think they liked when they were with other people, so I I think they really might have been in love with each other to some degree And I think he might’ve actually been in love with anger as well possibly read Fais to to be honest but I didn’t even even rip but I don’t. I don’t think and maybe even me he might’ve been in love with me and I wasn’t in love with him. I kind of doubt that though, and that’s part of the problem a lot of psychologist that are paying attention on the other side maybe can’t figure out if he was in love with me or not because we could hear we weren’t sleeping together I would service him and then he would be off with someone other someone else whether it was a man or a woman Married in the Lawrence court that he was sleeping with so he he would sleep with me. I was not sleeping with him. I was servicing her but he’d be with me and then he runoff and go be with some other man or he’d run off and go be with some woman And it’s like was that was he really in love with me then I don’t know it just never occurred to him to be faithful to me. He didn’t want to be him. He didn’t seem to fully realize that I was straight so I don’t think that’s what it was, he knew but he didn’t know he knew in an evil way, but I don’t think he. I don’t think he knew in a way where he could think it through and think I’ll just go to sleep with someone else I doubt it it was more like it was more like I was Grace Kelly. Yeah it was more like I was Grace Kelly, where he was just like I can’t get over lame but I don’t really want to marry him.

I don’t wanna marry him I don’t wanna marry I don’t wanna marry him but I am I don’t wanna marry him but I will keep trying to get him to service me, so so that was the idea you know that’s Grace Kelly services him to just have degree but thou so grace Kelly’s service him I service time he couldn’t get over us just couldn’t get over it but who is he actually in love with probably anger probably Jackie maybe read, and to be honest those are people who are not as attractive I was more attractive, especially when I had my glasses off, and when I wasn’t dressed Grace Kelly was very attractive but that being said I’m not as good looking as Lacey and neither is Grace Kelly especially with her clothes off. Lacey is extraordinarily good looking. There are very few flaws with her entire body types of autumn of. It’s sad that the generation she grew up with never seem to get a fucking clue about that, it is it really is it’s just pathetic that people are so trendy that that they could just understand what they were looking at. She’s extraordinarily beautiful don’t preach to the Black people because there are plenty of black men who are very enamored with large, overweight, black women who in black culture would be considered really sexy there’s plenty of black men like that, that’s not abnormal you find that how is it that no man alive can grasp her beauty she’s extraordinarily beautiful and then you’re just so stupid that you can’t figure it out you’re all aroused and staring at her but then you stand around having an hauling scratching your face in your head like you don’t know what to do what the fuck

And then the background of all these women bitching at her for just existing and she’s not being sexy. It sucks to Italian movie where she’s this beautiful woman who can’t get a job she’s not doing anything if anything she’s trying to be a lesbian in her aesthetic, not actually lesbian, but no, trying to be a lesbian in her aesthetic do not be offensive to people because if you know what she actually was, you realize that she’s definitely trying to be a lesbian and her aesthetic she alters from voice. She alters her mannerisms because she doesn’t want to seem like Marilyn Monroe not Jean actual Marilyn Monroe, Lacey’s real mannerisms are very hottie and arrogant according to some people but she’s not arrogant it’s very aristocratic, but no she is as sexy as Marilyn Monroe but she’s a genius in an aristocrat. Oh my word. How how how do you? How does no one figure out that I’m straight? How does Nolan figure out that she’s hiding her personality and sexuality from everyone does she isn’t want to seem like a weird old woman in a young woman’s body with this raspy, sexy voice that’s bratty an aristocrat dick I mean how weird would that look? So she knows that and tries to be appropriate but then no one realizes that she’s being appropriate no one gets a clue ever and it’s just so stupid. It’s so fucking stupid.

How do you say oh, she’s not that sexy no she is not lie about that women and women or two gullible and narcissistic to understand. So that’s the problem along with me being straight that’s a huge part of the problem.

So no, I was incredibly attractive, but not as attractive as her and that’s interesting because I don’t think the Kennedys were prepared for my wife, my lover, my soulmate, my twin flame to be that attractive they were not prepared for that. How did they handle prince Raynier? Well, he’s a prince he’s not is good looking as Lacey so I think they thought well he’s a prince and they’re kind of backward and Irish Catholic and Pourin away so I was like I don’t know I guess he’s a prince, which means that’s code for that or just back off because he’s running an actual country and he could probably kill us, if we keep bothering her know that she’s in Monaco we probably need to stop asking her to come sleep with Jack because he might get offended.

Did they still ask? Yes they did. They still asked Jack they still ask Grace to come visit them they did she may or may not have even slept with him but and then people act like Jackie was so jealous wow what am maybe they slept together I am not convinced that they did. She had a lot of other lovers if she was being unfaithful to her husband died I’m not sure that Jackie was one of that he might’ve been. He might not a fan after she was married. When William Holden were together for a while, if I’m not mistaken, which brings me back to my point Lacey is like William Holden, or a little better looking than him. She’s very good looking for a Generation OK she’s like Marilyn Monroe she’s like Chris Kelly she’s like William Holden she’s very, but the thing with Grace is that, Grace had an amazing face and she had beautiful bones so if you had her dressed appropriately, she looked astoundingly beautiful when Lacey doesn’t have clothes on, it doesn’t change there’s nothing about her almost at all that isn’t just astronomically astoundingly attractive and who else was like that movie Marilyn Monroe after she had her surgeries after she looked that way she was like that and there might be a few other actresses to that were like that Maybe not that many but there were a few and they were a few that are not my type but no there were a few of yeah no she really is that unusually good looking yeah Chris Grace Kelly was not one of them but Bill Monroe was and then Marilyn Monroe ended up, what? Dead. And who killed her at the Kennedys potentially might’ve killed her. Yeah the Kennedys killed Marilyn Monroe idiot they killed her. Why? Very possibly over me because they really just couldn’t stand. The fact that I was looking at a picture of her once in a bathroom by myself, and Jack walked in on me, and was so shocked that he decided to kill her, yes I could’ve actually been literally what happened. I was looking at a picture of her in a bathroom I know I was not actually that taken with her, but I was looking for some inspiration she was there and and Jack saw it and thought well crap he really he really does like women, and he really actually isn’t gay and I think because she was so beautiful and he couldn’t lie to himself about it with a lot of other people I was just like well he’s you know he’s being nice because she’s so ugly but with Marilyn there was nothing wrong with her so he couldn’t say oh she’s ugly and he’s being nice so it was like well maybe he’s actually maybe he’s actually really if he’s actually really in love with her in someway

Right now I can hear someone outside of the door at act act not the door outside of our window and so I have to say it because that person could easily be listening. I am a ghost. Lacey has her voice dropped right now because she’s doing something called psychic channeling. Lacey is not a psychic, but she is the illegitimate daughter of Tom Banks, who was born in 1894. He ran most of Minneapolis. He was one of the wealthiest Minnesotans to ever exist so that’s who’s living next-door to you and you’re spying on right now. Her brain is not like your brain because her father was born in 1894. She’s not schizophrenic she’s a genius and she can channel ghosts better than almost anyone else alive so if you want to keep listening keep that in mind, she’s channeling me I’m not her saying this right now do you understand that? Are you sophisticated enough to be listening to this?

Yeah, I am a ghost that’s how it works. She relaxes her body opens her mouth, and I speak through her. Where is her body at the time? Well, it’s sort of in her, but she is able to sort of channel herself outside of her own body slightly and then I’m in her body at the same time, it’s very unusual. Most people have to be witches to do this. She’s not a witch but no she’s not insane. She has been checked out by a psychologist. There’s an awful lot going in her life going on in her life right now though so if you’d like to keep listening and gossiping about her, go ahead, I don’t suggest that you look up Tom banks to find out who her father was.

How do you know who I am? I’m lame Billings I wasn’t gay I was actually straight. Yeah I thought it was a very big deal and I was too. Do you know that her father was friends with Humphrey Bogart? She’s Dutch old money from New York, like Pete on madman, she doesn’t have a cheerful personality like her dumb ass Norwegian, American mother, who is a stewardess. He wasn’t supposed to conceive children in his 80s but he did because he had mistresses his whole fucking life and he was in love with Margie and he was capable of conceiving a child in his late 80s and so he did and that’s Lacey that’s not something that she tells people.

Yes, she writes about it on her blog, but people with necessarily know what she sounds like when she says it because it’s written word. I know moving on whether or not we have an audience still listening or not ha ha.

No I did not. I did. I did not know what to do because Jack was sleeping with Grace Kelly, while she was well he might not of been well. She was the princess of Monaco and I wasn’t. I was not prepared to counsel him on that issue have the Kennedys been prepared and yes, they do harass a psychically. How’s the Kennedys, Ben White Wednesday look up her father if you’re still listening, he was put in prison, he was also involved in white water. I was Watergate Sam talking through her right now but no I am the thing is a he was a very big deal so no the Kennedys are harassing us. It’s not crazy. I’m sorry she’s not schizophrenic you’re the one listening but no, so um. Why is she up all night? You might be wondering because I had to write on this blog we’re being harassed Bobby is running for president it’s not going very well possibly because he’s trying to channel me and I don’t want him to.

So anyway, no I had no idea what to do because he was not able to be aware of what he was doing an appropriate way. He was very, very very dumb man. OK I was straight they couldn’t figure it out people today lie about it because they can’t figure it out, either apparently, even though my gay mannerisms are incredibly exasperated, I get exaggerated to the point of comedy, and it’s obvious that I was straight. If you look at me physically anatomically I look straight I don’t look bisexual. I don’t look pansexual I look straight I was not insane but you might wanna do that but I wasn’t.

So I was like Grace Kelly he kept bothering me and apparently they know they were not prepared for Lacey cause I’m sorry she is unusually beautiful. They were not prepared for her to be this beautiful they weren’t and she’s actually I don’t know that people in her generation realize that, but she is usually beautiful. And yes, she does wear clothes that hide it, because why would you walk around looking like a floozy?

So no him if you saw her naked or in a swimsuit, you might think she’s quite amazing or you might not because the swimsuit wouldn’t be flattering to her she’s tried to take pictures of herself I don’t know I guess men don’t like women that don’t have huge breasts or something it seems as though is that the only mark of refinement, for a woman to have a ginormous brass if they don’t have huge boobs matter what the boobs look like when they’re naked does that is, that was not how it works if you have huge boobs, and one saggy and ones not and they’re going off in different directions that still counts but when they’re perfectly shaped like Lacey‘s They’re disgusting?

So that’s that’s the thing we were out looking for an audience and this is our this is our property. This is her house so if you’re listening, keep that in mind. We’re not being that loud. And if I have to move to a better neighborhood, I will and that’s not Lacey saying that.

He has nice kids though they have nice kids. I’m not particularly impressed with them, but they have nice kits. Them because they’re cold as ice and snobby as fuck. I have no fucking clue who she is and they treat her like she’s some little dip shit arrogant assholes and they’re not from the upper class she is and so is your husband or-“ Lem marches off angry to shit the window.

Their son comes down and accidentally overhears them.

“I don’t hate them. But it’s been so awkward living in this neighborhood.” says Lacey.

“Why?” asks the CIA.

“We don’t belong here.” says Lacey.

“Why?” asks the CIA.

“It’s just awkward.

We’re in a higher social class than our entire neighborhood. And they knew that and know that and it’s not easy. They’re hostile. I can just feel it.” says Lacey.

“Yeah! I couldn’t live their either.” says a Millennial old money woman who lives in North Oaks.

“It’s not that they’re necessarily bad people. But…it’s just weird.” says Lacey.

“We have a similar attitude, Lacey.” she says.

“I don’t even think they notice that!” says Lacey. “I think they just think I’m a dumb peasant weirdo.”

“They might.” says the woman.

“Yeah!

And then I’m not. And it’s just awkward.” says Lacey.

“We have a bad attitude Lacey.” says the woman.

“Do you have a maid?” asks Lacey.

“Yeah. On occasion. I grew-up with one. And I need one.” she says. “Bad habits.”

“I think I could keep the house clean if I was on my own…but with Mark…we fall apart. Our house is a mess.” says Lacey.

“That sucks!” she says.

“Does your maid clean your bathroom?” asks Lacey.

“Mmm. No.” she says.

“Wow! Look at us. We’re being way too personal.” says Lacey. “I’m sorry if I’m scaring you. Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” she says.

“I’m scary?” says Lacey.

“Yeah!” she says

“Why?” asks Lacey.

“I’m not that…way.” she says.

“Funny. I got along wonderfully with Queen Elizabeth II.” says Lacey.

“I’m too middle class, Lacey.” she says.

“Why the fuck are you people SO fake?” asks Lacey.

Manhattan laughs. “Lacey. We all talk like you.”

“Why don’t you?” asks Lacey.

“We’re nice!” says a woman.

“SHE GREW-UP HERE!!!” yells Tom Banks.

“How wealthy was your Dutch Old Money family?” asks Lake Minnetonka.

“$100 million.” says Tom Banks.

“Did you run the state of Minnesota?” they ask.

“YES.” he says. “In the eyes of the US President.”

“So you ran the country. Secretly.” says Minnetonka.

“YUP!!!” says Tom, mocking them.

“Is there any way anyone could challenge you?” asks Minnetonka.

“Yeah!! My family. Do you comprehend that?” says Tom. “Does your brain work?”

“So you babysat Louis Hill Junior.” says Minnetonka.

“Yes.” says Tom.

“What was that like?” asks Minnetonka.

“Why do you ask? Listen…I can’t help you grow-up right now. You’re an adult.” says Tom. “You’re a fool.”

“Yeah. People are weird as fuck with her.” says the woman in North Oaks.

“Why do Americans keep provoking her?!?” yells Tsar Putin.

“I don’t think we get that we’re destroying our country.” says North Dakota.

“WHY!?” pleads Lacey.

“Because I was straight! That’s it.” says Lem.

“Why is that SO important to them!?” yells Lacey.

“Lacey. They can’t blend in at Ascot with the proper amount of sleep and thought.” says a British man.

“Why does anyone go to that?” asks Lacey.

“You’d go! If you were left alone!” he says.

“Yes.” says Lacey. “With my kids if they were older, and Lem.”

“Or Harold.” says the woman.

“Why do you go?” asks Sophie.

“The smells. The horses. The tradition. The feeling of it.” says Lacey.

“We love the Kentucky Derby too.” says Lem.

“They can’t go and fit in.” says North Oaks.

“What is she supposed to do!?” asks Manhattan.

“ You don’t have to say llama straight, and then he was actually trying to tell us some thing between her up to him and I my sense is that he actually is very annoyed by what your family did with Grace Kelly, possibly in particular, and then I think he was gonna say some thing about how his wife is better looking than that, and that he is shell shocked by the lack of understanding Which is a perfectly rational irritation for someone to have you know it’s weird that she knows some thing about ascot that she doesn’t know she knew it was a horse race before she ever knew it was a horse race possibly how did she know that if there’s reincarnation, I’m getting sick of her neighborhood myself she really should’ve probably live somewhere else but we moved her to an area that was nice but that is been very problematic I don’t know that she’ll be moving but I think it’s definitely something that people need to keep in mind when they’re talking to her.

I have spoken to her neighbors I’m a psychic I’ve spoken to her neighbors before and they are psychic Leap and they’re noxious. They’re obnoxious people there’s a part of them that’s not but then there’s a part of them that is and I don’t know why that’s her fault I don’t know why she should be allowed to say that, let’s just say that they’re totally obnoxious competitive people who are obsessed with her every time she walks out they pretend not to watch her and not give a shit but then they always end up competing with every fucking thing that they do. Why are they like that? Why don’t they realize how annoying that is?” asks the psychic.

“ why are you in our neighborhood?” asks someone.

“ is there anywhere in your fucking country that I’m allowed to be in?” asks Lem.

“ well, even though you and Lacey‘s family started it it’s our family now it’s arc. It’s our country now it’s our country now.” they say.

“ oh, so you think we can’t Scherret? Why because you’re fucking huge or something or what the fuck?” asks Lacey.

“ I know we don’t like you here.” says a man

“ well, then, get out of my country it was mine.” says Lem.

“ why do we act like we’re you?” asks her neighbor.

“ i’m not even like that you guys are just acting you’re full of shit.” says Lacey. “ and I can never figure out what’s really actually bothering you because you’re just keeps bullshitting me and it’s really annoying.”

“ if we told you, what was actually going on with us we’d sound stupid, immature and backward.” says Eunice Kennedy Shriver.

“ or maybe you are not your fucking babysitter from Jesus what the fuck is wrong with you little pieces of shit if that’s all the fuck you are!?” says Lacey.

“ I agree with her.” says Iran.

“ well, I mean one minute I’m at Ascot and someone’s telling me that I should fit in there and I can and then someone berating me for what being myself it’s just a constant shit show with you people. When do you finally figure this out!!?” asks Lacey.

“ because you’re not right you don’t have a $10 million house and another $15 million one earned that’s all that matters to us. It’s just stuff we don’t give a fuck about your background even though you do and according to you know stuff like stupid stuff like sociology anthropology that I don’t have technology because I’m a really big deal on Americans are above academia so according to reality class is a thing, but we don’t see it that way OK we don’t see it that way here.

Or you can take your highfalutin reality and just shove it up your ass if you don’t have 100 million to spend on a house.” says America.

“ Can I talk to you about that or not?” says Lacey.

America thinks.

“ yes!” says a gay man.

“ so when do you die?” asks Lacey.

“ no Lacey!” says Iran.

“ it’s a serious question. I’m not sure they understand the concept of death do they or not?” says Lacey.

“ oh, I don’t know that they fully do.” says Iraq.

Lacey laughs. “ do you have any idea what if’s like being surrounded by people who are that’s stupid and then having to talk to them like they’re your equal?”

“ not in that way.” says Iran.

“ no I just I am I’m sorry I I I care about you don’t worship Allah worship Jesus and I think you know me well enough to know that I’m saying that cause I care I just don’t understand them I don’t understand them at all I really don’t get it. I don’t get what it was I think they’re doing.” says Lacey to Iran.

“ they’re pagans Lacey we worship a different God, but you’re hopeful that will end up in purgatory with you there pagans.” says Iran.

“I wonder what that’s like being a pagan.” says Lacey.

“ we do tend to get along with the Jews and the Muslims better than the Americans we’re just being honest.” says English.

“ why are you afraid of going to Ascot?” says India.

“ I is there reincarnation or not it’s exasperating. I have a feeling there’s some Muslims that aren’t who are intellectuals or bothered by the by two is it is it real or not? If it is I am fully prepared to say that I am done. I am lambs wife those are my kids. I care about this country but I’m a Scottish aristocrat and I have no idea or me being a Gyptian and I have no idea how to be anything other than that, absolutely no idea. The truth is if I’m reincarnated it was a chore going. I don’t think I I think I rarely ever what and when I did, it was usually drunk because I’d be terrified of people who had to see you there and that’s the problem I am I don’t have a Jacuzzi good memories of going to Ascot the few times that I went. It was either very boring or it was with a Lem’s and then he died so I don’t particularly maybe like to even think about it because I have a feeling we had a lot of fun there and then he died so it’s something that I would still do but I don’t want to be left alone if I want because I wouldn’t want anyone bothering me.” says Lacey.

“ what if we think it’s what if we think it’s real?” says English.

“ then why are you ruining my country with your bullshit if you know that it’s real if you have proof if you think it’s in the Bible and you have very good theological evidence to back that up then maybe you should stop being such peasant idiots with me and start telling me things that I need to know because this isn’t working I can’t keep pretending to be a dumb ass Minnesotan for you when I’m actually not at all, and you have me floundering around with these dip shits in this fucking country that I’m not even supposed to be in!?” says Lacey.

“ so you don’t like America?” asks Sophie.

“ it’s not that simple. I’m not an idiot.” says Lacey.

“ what are hotels to you people that make you think that she’s fake just come out with them if they’re not real you’re destroying your family,” says Lem to the British Royal Family.

“ we don’t have any that are legitimate that would be excepted by you and what I mean by that is that you’re obviously very intelligent if there’s an illuminati, you just discovered us out of the blue in the semi said and yeah, given your level of intellect I would say to you our reasons are dumb as fuck because they are so no we don’t have any good reasons and that’s really all it is what it is, so no we don’t have any. We have none sincerely.” they lie.

“what are your reasons!?” yells Ireland.

“ fear her father really easily could be Tom Banks, and they’re very intimidated by him. She was actually close to the queen in a way that some of them probably weren’t even that close and then if that isn’t even enough, she’s more of a Socratic in a way than some of them are and she knows that, and so she worries that’s theologically inaccurate and they read that psychically and then assume that that’s a confession of truth that she’s actually telling them that she’s not and that’s not at all what’s happening but they’re too narcissistic and backward to understand that.” says Donald Trump.

“ we’ve been working with Bobby Kennedy for years and so we don’t know how to turn around and stab him in the back and he insists that you’re fake he can’t handle you.” says Sophie.

“The problem you destroyed your career because you went to a country that doesn’t almost exist after being outed on this blog as a sex, trafficker Sophie, potentially, or used it up for her in the royal family itself is worthless as shit which one is it because it seems like it’s possibly one of the other. I mean you people really are dumb. There’s so many things happening right now in the world that are very serious that are related to her that he has no control over. He’s broke her family has trillions and oil. Why the fuck does he matter we need an explanation.!?” says the CIA.

“ Who told all of you that you could actually become other people!??” yells a dead saint at American. “ like possess their bodies and becomes them like actually change your identities into actual other living people who you’re very violently envious of who told you you could really do that?”

“ how are you think we’ve always thought that we could do that?“ says American.

“ so you not only don’t care about their body. You don’t care about their soul and spirit either so you’re not just murderers in this country you’re worse than that?” says Lacey.

“DEATH TO AMERICA!!!” yells Isus.

“ I know because we’re immune from evil we’re Americans.” says America. “ we have a cute flag and cute holidays in a cute country.”

“ but you’re the most evil people live on earth right now potentially and I’m trapped in this country that I have to live in because I started it and this is really where I have to live but I’m terrified every single fucking day. They’re going to murder me and my family, so maybe we are in the middle of a war and we’re too dumb to acknowledge that and you guys might be going to hell or having your heads lobotomized for being too worthless to be human.” says Lem.

“It’d be nicenice if America quit making us do that Lacey you know that we both want to and don’t at the same time we we don’t always like acknowledging Ukraine. It gets to be old after a while but they make us and you know that.“ says Sophie.

“ so I’m getting the sense that you’re telling me that if I lived in your country you’d have me beheaded and all of my rights taken away then how is England still England?” says Lacey.

“ Sophie, you can’t pretend like you have the oil in your family that you do not have the CIA asked you guys very pertinent question you should answer is because this is a real conversation grow up. You’re obviously a gold digging bitch who is very manipulative and controls the entire royal family with your buffoonery in crying. Could you shut off the middle class trap throw minute Sophie take off your fun hat and admit that you’re just a huge fucking gold digging bitch that’s all you fucking whore you’re just a trap violet whore is not right and if it’s not Sophie, can you explain to us why the fuck you don’t answer the CIA you’re so scared of us?” asks the CIA.

“ should I totally obliterate you Sophie or should I just be nice it’s your choice.” says Lacey.

“ oh she’s taking you down for real. This is affecting you in real time. If there’s a illuminati this is a real conversation and sincerely you guys need to grow up, so why don’t you answer the CIA why do you guys insist on treating her after the queen is dead, like she’s some sort of fucking idiot. All the sudden I don’t understand it either. It’s very weird to us.” says the CIA.

“ there’s really nothing other than the fact that it’s just it’s just bullshit and Anne and Bobby is in and Bobby is bullying us I know we don’t want technology crane.” says Sophie.

“ Yeah I know you don’t want technology Creighton. It really is historically kind of a stupid country and in some ways. I’m sorry.“ says Lacey. “ don’t make me explain to you why it’s dumb you know as well as I do that it’s slightly made up.”

“ it’s actually very offensive because you’ve downgraded a lot of other countries and their validity in the eyes of the world by making everyone acknowledge you in the middle of this chaotic shit show of child trafficking and Putin.” says Lem.

“and do most people agree with you?” asks a man.

“ yes, possibly.” says Lem.

“ I know I was the daughter of Tom Banks I understand why Zelensky wants this country to exist. I just I don’t see much of an angle for it.“ says Lacey.

“ oh yeah and you know this is where the whole American bullshit routine sweetie is just a bullshit routine. You really need to stop playing these rules and you need to just say at least here on this blog why you’re actually demanding your country exist is it for personal power? We may not actually be averse to hearing that entirely, is it that someone’s controlling you and you’re really just another proxy country in which case not at all safe for the US if your proxy country Lacey has recommended this so many times so for the record I am Linn Billings. Lacey is my wife Mark, kids are having breakfast and hopefully our neighbors don’t hate us if we were hearing them this morning it was just very very awkward.

And actually the part of the reason why it’s so awkward is because we’re having a conversation sitting on a sofa staying up together all night I am dad I am kind of a famous person and I’m not even gay now I am sitting there talking about my wife’s breasts That’s awkward. And then it was right after going through a hellish conversation that was admittedly, potentially very useful to us but that was a thorough address in town from Lane price really that was a very serious conversation, potentially especially if I’m if we’re being hardheaded that was very serious.

We understand that it’s possible you’re trying to control sex trafficking, but then that’s where Lacey and I are not in the same mindset as a lot of you. And because we don’t think a governmental organization, even if it’s heralded through the illuminati really is safer than a private group of people running some thing at first it usually is right like the FDA and then in the EPA at first it is, but then this isn’t the EPA And it isn’t safe to assume that just because you people are professionals who speak we’re nice to each other that you’re really going to be more moral than a local gang it’s possible that you might be but I would I would say some of you probably might be capable of the moral dealings with that sort of thing. I’m not sure that all of you are, and I’m not sure that some of you should even really consider yourselves morally enough to be doing that at least not more than some people that would be doing it in their own free times we speak so that’s the problem I don’t think we’re convinced that you people aren’t just a bunch of liberals trying to control big business and then pretending like it’s somehow moral because you’re illuminated.” says Lem.

“ OK now we understand you you don’t think the real family has any business dealing with that even if it’s to try to help them because you don’t think we should have to get our hands dirty because you think we’re in a better position strategically if we don’t know, or you think it’s rather bizarre, how were suddenly questioning you constantly when you’re trying to hold us accountable for our sin which kind of makes you wonder if it’s not actually about child trafficking even though it seems like it is and you’re advocating for the children and their rights as humans. So then what would it actually be maybe it’s personal.” says Sophie. “ oh, maybe were personally offended that you think you’re one of us, even though your family has more oil than the British family has ever owned, and its entire existence, which is actually historical fact, no oil was never owned directly, potentially to any large degree by the British royal family, it was owned by the British, but that’s not the entirety of the British royal family so to speak, so no, we directly may not have owned all of the Middle East and kept it in the crowd that’s bullshit we we did run the country but no it was not enough to have a possession so that’s where we’re pulling fleetly fucking everything up because it’s true the British royal family was never as wealthy as all of Great Britain in that way, so why wouldn’t charge it off if you’re a peasant assholes with no fucking business redneck country that we barely understand anymore because we’re really just bitches because that’s the problem we’re bowling around somebody who is far more important than us when it comes to actual resources and why do we have paintings and art and things like that that are very useless and are totally dependent on the value of peoples opinions we don’t have cold cold so much anymore. The land that we have is questionable so really compared to you Lacey, we’re peasant, assholes, pretending to be the royal family when really, you’re more of the royal family than we are. And yes, I’m sure if you’re reincarnated that love being from the Spencer family hates the fact that Diane is dead and so they’re probably just taking over the whole fucking family three Hoyle because it’s funny to that just like no used to laugh at director for being so stupid behind her back all the time.

That was Diana, not Director.

Love came from the Spencer family love originated from the spencers I actually like Camila. she’s a charming personality, but she might’ve been a huge jerk to Diana. so I guess through Lacey as long as lives OK with it we are in charge of the Nesheim oil. Do we care that they think it’s theirs or not? No we don’t which means that through Lacey oh, this is fun through Lacey we just took over great but we just took over America again ha ha and they can’t. Do you think about it cause they need the oil so this blog has any validity nope white taken you’re right we shouldn’t be so dismissive to you that’s rude and inappropriate possibly whether it’s completely accurate or not accurate or not and him know I think we just took over America so just refund is.

Refund but the tip you dumped in the harbor didn’t you? I think we’d like a refund we didn’t get to drink any of it and we text you so much on it that it was still ours really not yours so we want to refund yes we could like to taxes, but we want a refund now because you dumped it on the harbor and it was never yours really to begin with.” says the UK.

“ we never said that the tea wasn’t ours we said we were paying too much for it.” says America.

“ no the money you just give it back. Oh shit you can’t because you dumped it in the harbor so that I think it’s our refund now.” says Lacey.

“ What she said was just very intelligent but you’re trying to make her seem stupid now and harass her using her own family because you’re so intimidated you guys are obviously intimidated. You’re horribly intimidated by her then saying that we are makes us even more scared by how scared you people are of us.” says Lem.

“ and what the hell do you want from us?” asks Sophie.

Lacey laughs. “ why are you talking to me harassing me through my family destroying my health is suffocating me it’s insane it should be obvious I just want you to fucking assholes to leave me the fuck alone.“

“ well here you go we is protecting Bobby and he insist that you’re fake and evil and Lem was gay and we have no reason to respect him but we’re all too stupid to figure out how to handle him so we just have to go along with it.” says the Illuminati honestly.

“ I’m a demon that you conjured Bobby every time that you talk to them the truth is he hasn’t acknowledged you since he was dead he can’t stand you