(August 18th, 2024)
In This Shirt by The Irrepressibles plays.
Lacey played this song…over and over…after her cousin shot himself in the head. Why? Because her uncle had just died, his grandfather, and…something about that depressed him so much…he decided he’d rather be dead himself as well. He was only in his early 20’s.
It was also around the time that Biden withdrew out of Afghanistan. And people died. Who didn’t need to die.
“He was more like my father.” says her cousin.
“Why couldn’t you tell us?” asks Lacey’s first cousin, his mother in the afterlife, in the future.
“I just couldn’t. I felt responsible for his death too.” says the young man. “I didn’t feel like a strong enough Christian. …It felt like….I wasn’t going to do much with my life.”
“You were doomed.” says his twin.
“I was…wrong. Just…never going to amount to much. And…I missed him. So it all sorta made sense.” he says.
“You looked out at your life and felt you were doomed?!” says his grandmother.
“Yup.” he says.
“We maybe conjured his suicide.” says an actress in the Illuminati, if there is one. “It was around the time of the withdrawal. And…we possibly felt sacrificing him…would do us favor with an evil deity.”
“Why did you sacrifice me?” asks Lacey’s other cousin who killed himself more recently. Matthew. He actually fought in the Middle East. With bombs. Just like his grandfather in World War II.
“Bombs? Really!? Maybe they aren’t real. They’re too stupid.” says Joe Kennedy Junior in frustration.
“You do recall she was a deity of water? If there’s reincarnation.” says JFK in 2023. “I’m getting worried, you guys.”
“Maybe there’s not reincarnation.” says Lem to the Illuminati to encourage them.
A living Rockefeller laughs.
“Why are you worried Jack?” says a living gay man.
“I’m gay.” says JFK.
“You just figured that out?” says the living gay man.
“No. I mean…I’m bisexual. But…I’d prefer to be called gay. Because…it’s just…less complicated.” says JFK.
“Okay?” says the living gay man.
“She’s not dying.” says JFK. “And I needed her dead.”
“Before 2023?” he says.
“More like 20 years ago.” says JFK.
“So! Why did you sacrifice me?” says Matthew.
“Russia.” says an Illuminati man at the Pentagon.
“But how well did I work?” asks the younger cousin.
“We rarely rehash our dysfunction.” says Harris. “In the media.”
“I don’t think I’m working.” jokes Matt.
“No. He’s not.” says the younger cousin.
“And you lost me with him. The younger one.” says Hamish Harding.
“He lost his second term too.” says Lacey’s Uncle Ron.
The song restarts.
How can Lacey be so…alone? Because she really is. And be okay?
We’re more real to her than…you might think. Why? Because we keep doing things to make ourselves known. But also…she’s watched two cousins commit suicide out of the blue. And…she felt somehow connected to both of them. So…it’s now like a long war to her. And she’s a warrior at heart regardless of reincarnation. The most ladylike warrior you might ever meet.
So…what’s that mean?
“The anticipation of battle is far worse than the battle itself.” says Lacey.
“You’re right!” says Putin.
“And when you start seeing people die…on your side…there’s a feeling of relief. …As if you can almost taste death yourself. And all you have to do is…fight. The waiting is over.” says a woman.
A Moment Apart by ODESZA plays.
“The wait is the worst part. When you see who’s dying and who’s left behind you finally get to discover how well your strategy worked. And often I was pleasantly surprised.” she says.
The song plays.
“And…there’s no…losing. You know? The warriors fighting with you are dying. They’re gone. So…what’s the worst thing that could happen? If you did you’ll see your friends again. And if you live…you’ll win. …I think I always risked my life. Very aggressively. Very daringly. So…I’d never be captured. Only die or win.” says the woman.
“What strategies did you use?” asks a US military man.
“What comes to me is a sort of bird formation. Like an arrow.” says the woman.
“And you were always the lead?” he says.
“It operated like a slingshot. Actually. I’d launch out. And we’d form an arrow.” says the woman.
“So you’d come out from behind.” he says.
“Yes. I’d be in back. And then race out from behind.” she says.
“And you were always successful?” he says.
“Surprisingly so. But I may also have been exceptionally beautiful and had a very sharp sword.” says the woman.
“Did you sleep with the men?” asks another man.
“No. Rarely if ever. …But I was…a tomboy. My father loved me. My mother maybe didn’t. …And I didn’t even know that was weird. I was just always sad. …But I never knew what sadness even was. …I wasn’t particularly fertile. …I doubt I had kids. …And no…I was straight.” says the woman.
“So you have an unusually good report with men.” says the military man. “Funny no one has ever told you that before.”
“Yes. I love men. …They’re always so…amiable. Women often are cruel to me, I think. …But not all women.” says the woman.
“No. Not all of us.” says Queen Elizabeth II.
“No.” says the woman.
Princes Margaret smiles too.
“You’ve not known enough of us. Wrong place.” says a British woman.
“I worry you’re the only women who I ever get along with.” says the woman.
“Well…that’s okay.” says Helena.
“You never take me too seriously. And yet you take me just seriously enough.” says Lacey.
“Lacey. Darling we knew that was you.” says Maggie Smith.
“It’s weird. I can’t figure it out. And I don’t want to lead Christians astray. …I truly think it’s in the Bible or I’m being tricked very cleverly.” says Lacey.
“Do you honestly feel like you could be her?” says Maggie.
“Yes. If there’s reincarnation I actually do. It feels very…normal. But…whatever God says it is. I’ll just have to wait.” says Lacey.
“Why did you come back?” a gay guy asks Lem.
“If you can explain to me how reincarnation is in the Bible I’ll answer.” says Lem. He smiles.
“He’s already explained.” says Putin.
“Okay.” says the living gay man.
“No. So…it’s shocking to think of men just leaving an attractive woman be. And then also following her. Into battle. As an American. But I wonder if you were…really good with a sword and I wonder if your fighting was really strategically brilliant.” he says.
“If there’s reincarnation…I’d have fallen in love. And that’s how I’d have handled her. I’d have just married her. …Because I’d have bet I could beat her…but I’d have worried it was going to really hurt.” says Lem.
“Would you have been scared of rejection?” he says.
“Actually…no.” says Lem.
“Did Jack come on to you?” he says.
“Yes.” says Lem. “It’s backwards from the myth.” He thinks. “Upside down.”
“So he was looking to get a booty call from you. But you were trying to make it real?” says a living gay man.
“Yeah. He wanted sex. And I just…was trying to be…normal. And…I thought getting a boyfriend or girlfriend at our age was normal. So I thought I’d have to get a boyfriend…and why not him?” says Lem.
“But you didn’t like him!” says the gay man.
“No. But…I kinda talked myself into it. And…I did have some good laughs with him. So…I thought I shouldn’t pass up my chance.” says Lem.
“So you didn’t drop everything to be with him.” says a woman.
“I did. Far too often. But that was my way of being…a good boyfriend. I’d have done the same thing for a woman I barely loved who also kept requesting my presence. Or who was as manipulative as Jack. …Except…I would have been less depressed. So…I might have tried harder to have my own life, so to speak. You know? …After I was molested I gave up being happy like a normal person.” says Lem.
“Because what’s the difference anyway?” she says.
“Yup. Might as well just blow off life.” says Lem. “Essentially.”
“Because you can’t be happy anyway?” says the woman.
“Yup.” says Lem. “Just…live it up.”
“How did Jack come on to you?” asks the military man.
“He asked me questions. He had ‘tensions.’ And then he suggested we should do something sexual. And when I hesitated out of confusion and disgust he launched forward and just did it.” says Lem.
“But why? You’d experimented.” says a guy.
“Yeah! I had. He was…very personal. Those other guys were players. Loose. And it was…like…a thing they did. You know? And I was curious. I wanted to see if I was gay.” says Lem.
“Had you started to wonder??” says a female journalist.
“Yeah. …I had. …But I got a reputation. And…Jack found out about it. …I think I might have been able to reason my way out of it. But he got to me before I could. And it might have taken me years. …But…I think I would have eventually put two and two together and realized I was straight. Maybe mid college? But…Jack wouldn’t let that happen.” says Lem.
(Adult content below)
“I love how he was so against it.” says a living gay man. “In his note.”
“He was. But then he’d change his mind.” says Lem. “And it was just a clever way of making me feel entirely responsible.”
“So you knew he was sleeping with other men…too?” says a gay man.
“Yup! But I wouldn’t call what we did sleeping together. I really was…more just appeasing him.” says Lem.
“What did he like?” says the living gay man.
“Fast. Lots of movement. …Umm…like I was just desperate…beyond desperate to get him off. Like…I personally was going to really benefit myself…in every way…if I could only just get him off.” says Lem.
“That’s gross!” says the military man.
“Yeah. Well…I thought I just didn’t like sex.” says Lem.
“And you were too good of a man to experiment with women.” he says.
“Yup. Not after I was molested. I felt…it was wrong.” says Lem.
“You didn’t have a friend who could tell you the truth!?” says the man.
“I was a loner in some ways. Not always. But far too much.” says Lem. “And my family tried. But I was trying to protect them.”
“So…Lacey’s not…totally miserable because she’s…fighting.” says MSNBC.
“Why did Diego pick a fight with her?” says Zelda.
“He wasn’t…necessarily really trying to fight. More…handle her.” says Chris.
“But he didn’t ever want to actually engage with me.” says Lacey.
“No. He kept attacking her. And aggravating her.” says Michael. “For months.”
“Well…he’s dead now.” says Chris.
“Why did he do that!?” says Zelda.
“He was…trying to be mean.” says Chris.
“And come on to her. As a joke.” says Mina.
“And propose marriage.” says Michael.
“Yeah.” says Chris.
“I don’t think that’s a joke.” says Lacey.
“No. It’s not.” says Tucker Carlson.
“Do you understand why?” says Lacey.
“Did he sound too serious?” says Mina.
“Yes. He did.” says Lacey. “It actually kind of scared me.”
“So you made her really think. And hyper analyze it all. Or, ‘you’ did. …But it’s a joke?” says George Clooney. “I mean. You might as well go around calling police reporting false burglaries.”
“Yeah. It’s so…immature.” says Lacey. “I think it has a huge stench of class insecurity too.”
“She’s right. It does seem really insecure.” says a woman.
“Would you have thought it was a joke?” says Chris.
“Possibly? But…’your’ tone was off.” says Lacey. “He seemed really serious. Like…serious.”
“Yeah. That’s not that funny.” says Jimmy Fallon.
“It was just…off.” says Lacey. “So yes. I did think that briefly. But…not really. Because his tone didn’t speak to that.”
“But I mean come on!” says Erin.
“No. He seemed very sincere.” says Lacey.
“Did he promise you anything?” says Chris.
Lacey thinks. “Eternal love.” she says.
Tucker Carlson looks upset.
“I felt bad not taking him seriously. So I did.” says Lacey. “It’s really just random evil.”
“He thought it was funny.” says Chris.
“Why?” says Lem.
“He probably did feel very superior to her. But…I think he also…just wanted to prank someone. And make fun of her sincerity with her followers or call her out.” says Chris. “He felt shamed by how nice she is.”
“Why me?” says Lacey.
“Because he hated you.” says Chris.
“WHY!?” yells Lem.
“Because he felt narcissistically very threatened by you.” says Chris. “So did his friends and family.”
“Family!” says Lem.
“Yeah. He talked about her a lot.” says Chris.
“So he thought like a serial killer.” says Lacey.
“Chris…what actually is so funny? I don’t get it either.” says Tom Banks.
“Because you’re so lowly. And nothing compared to us.” says Joy Reid.
“And you all really thought that. Which is why this is still going on. Your premise didn’t make sense. …She’s not socially really beneath you. You’re really just famous.” says Tom. “And not that famous.”
“Yeah. …But there was more to the joke?” says Lem.
“I think he thought it was dumb.” says Chris.
“So I was supposed to find it funny too?” says Lacey.
“Yeah.” says Chris.
“Why??” says Lacey.
“Because it’s absurd?” says a woman.
“Not really. It’s more astounding.” says Lacey.
“Well yeah…but people don’t do that.” says Chris.
“SO FUCKING WHAT!?” yells Lacey. “LIFE IS BORING!!”
“She doesn’t mean it like I did.” says JFK.
Awkward silence.
“Life is dull. Very, very predictable. People are entirely unoriginal. Plain. Sad. Not much happens. …The concept was fascinating.” says Lacey.
“It is!” says Michael Rockefeller, also sincerely.
“Yeah.” says an Asmat, who’s confused. “We talk to trees. Very sincerely. …You’re ignorant and uncultured.”
“Crap.” says Tucker Carlson.
“Okay.” says Chris.
“I would just like to point out that she’s not making-up her indignation. I have a feeling Chris if there’s an Illuminati and you’re in it that you take yourself way too seriously and so do your friends.
My godson sweetie is that if there’s reincarnation and I think there is whether there is or not that she could’ve actually been Scotia but also, I think she was probably an aristocrat from some title family in Scotland for real in the 1800s. And I don’t know that much about the illuminati I don’t know, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she knew some thing about telepathy and stuff like that from people that she knew in her family, being in the illuminati or talking about it, probably in some drawing room when she was a little girl when she overheard her father, talking to some man smoking a cigar who could’ve been a duke or something I’m not making this up.
I’m speaking into the phone I don’t have the patience to tell her this that slowly she’s reading me whether I’m a demon and a person or just a person astral projecting. I want to let god sort that out. I’m just frustrated reading this I’m as a psychic, who’s not in the illuminati. Why aren’t you taking her indignation more seriously it seems like you guys are really backward you and your friend Aaron from Wisconsin some real part of Wisconsin and Mina to who easily could also leave a similar background to the both of you you guys aren’t that cultured or sophisticated you’ve done well, but you didn’t really grow up Understanding other people the way that she did and a lot of other people did you weren’t old money, but who had a family that took the time to talk about stuff. So I would never assume someone would think that was funny because culturally you could be way off.
Like there’s something inherently dumb about that joke because you pretend to be these CNO bass let them know just like these like fortresses of intellectual integrity and maturity at your station but it’s absurd because your joke is predicated on norms, socially, sweetie, that are very culture bound within the US and very generationally bound as well and white and sort of a privileged upper middle class background. Or kids that are trying to become that. That attitude of in kind of like in difference, and like being cool, isn’t something that everybody has and frankly, I would’ve picked up on that with her and realized that she found that repulsive or it just wasn’t native to her in some way. Is she’s not a typical person I don’t think she’s autistic or stupid. I just don’t think that’s who she is and I think you were having this like huge discussion psychically and you thought you had just like totally figured out who you were talking to you and I don’t think you have a fucking clue who you were talking to and honestly I just think your joke went flat and she took it totally wrong or rather Diego‘s joke went flat that he probably had with you eventually at her expense , because he said you guys just had like no human decency you just thought it was funny to make fun of somebody because you just thought she was like was annoying or some thing I mean let’s be real no there’s nothing in sick there’s nothing inferior about her, so you probably were just insecure. And that’s not me being you know nice to her it’s just objectively true and I’m so sick of people, pretending otherwise.
But the thing is though like she’s human so I don’t think it’s a flaw but I think she has a very intense personality that I just think she’s inherently extremely serious and deep so I don’t think and very empathetic so I don’t think to her it was funny like, isn’t this dumb it’s more like what was wrong with this man why was he talking to me? Does he need help what’s going on with him and his life because you’re bypassing social norms and talking to her you’re talking to her psychically and so if you were to see her in the street and try to you know I have some weird cetaceous conversation. My guess is that it would’ve probably falling flat in like five seconds and you would’ve made a total ass of yourself.
And I think you guys thought you were really special because you knew telepathy and so you felt like you kind of made it in the world and could certainly use that to hurt people. At least I know Diego dead from what you said I think he was trying to aggravate her, but I also think he was being very cruel and sadistic. And I think you guys have lied about it because you’re just pieces of trash, potentially as people.
Him know what the thing is it’s really not that funny to her. It might be funny to me if someone was like I’m in love with you and I’m just like what the fuck is this and it’s like oh well it’s like a psychic I’m talking to you psychically as like what the hell it’s like no it’s because it’s like telepathy But that’s not her personality. She has almost no ego. So it’s like you’re telling this person I am in love with you I need you and she’s like what the hell is wrong with this person and then she’s trying to figure out how to help you and then my guess is that you kept bringing her like that for at least a week to two weeks and so it was like a lot was going through her head during that time with like who is this person What is love? What does it mean like what are we even doing and I don’t think you got it that’s not it’s also very cruel, considering how awful her life has been to have done that specifically to her. But but I think even if she’d had a better life she probably still might have thought it was slightly funny like like slightly funny, but I don’t think she would’ve thought it was that funny.
Let me just ask you something are you really just worth $6 million?” she says.
“ I mean it’s like seven or eight maybe.” he says.
“ OK she has family worth more than that and they’re not famous. Angie people are never going to be like those people because you never inherited that money. You just had to like work your ass off for it like trailer trash people who are really trying to make something of yourselves.
No, I know I’m not being bitter and I’m just trying to like kind of wait your way and help you come back into reality. You’re not impressive to her so if you were trying to like relate to her ““ by being like, I’m not that rich, I don’t have more than 5 million I’m really not that rich I don’t think it worked because I think she was just like oh that’s too bad I mean I don’t think that worked either because it’s not She’s not like that OK I don’t think her and her husband are worth more than like two or 3 million but I don’t think she gives a shit and I have a feeling they could easily be worth a hell of a lot more and they’ve just chosen not to pursue that with their lives and so I really don’t think you trying to relate to her in that way made any fucking sense I think you people think that there’s like two kinds of people in the whole world, and that you’re one of them.” she says.
“ but I mean she’s not as big of a deal as we are.” says Chris.
“ in what way?” she says.
“ I think we got an era of like superiority from her and we were just like gonna call her out on her shit.” says Mina, giggling.
“ but that wasn’t fake it was real.” says the woman.
“ I mean yeah you guys of sacrificed to people in our family and your whole fucking country is falling apart. I’m sorry we’re not the bush family from bush beans. I mean what the fuck is wrong with you fucking hillbilly bastards?” says Matthew Nesheim.
“ I am shit you’re not a snob even though your grandfather was a millionaire your great grandfather was a millionaire you didn’t have to join the military, but you did for some old money, conservative reason and then you choose to try to be a science-fiction author. Oh yeah, I can’t relate to you I mean, your sister was Miss North Dakota, my family would never do that. OK so we seem very bourgeois and backward to you because it’s like we chose to go to the namebrand school instead of like just knowing like how to actually live like an aristocrat fine but you know what we didn’t know that and we really thought we were superior to all of you and we look down on you.
And I don’t think we’ve realized yet how dumb we still see him so no her error of superiority was not fake. It was based on the fact that your family had like billions of dollars worth of oil and still do we didn’t realize we first started talking to her that you guys had as much oil in your family as you do And I mean none of us did. I didn’t know that Diego didn’t know that my wife didn’t know that Aaron didn’t know that mean I didn’t know that I don’t think Joy or anyone at MSNBC realize that your family had that much oil when we found out we were Confused as to why we should give a shit because we don’t like being told her wrong and I don’t think we realize until lately that’s why you have that attitude because you really think that oil mean something.” says Chris.
“ it really does though socially I mean how many people can say that their family owns the oil which is something that I don’t think the Biden ministration and you really cognitively understood about a year ago but no release the oil to the oil companies I didn’t tell you stop using oil you’re dependent on my family to allow you to have the oil. I’m sure you’ve used oil, Chris and Diego all of you and I don’t. I’ve never seen you in person necessarily almost at all but you’ve used my oil because my oils everywhere that’s how it’s a big deal you’re everywhere because you’re a whore to some degree who puts you in yourself and your family puts you and your family at risk For money I don’t have to do that. I don’t have to put my picture everywhere and look cute every night so people wanna fuck me so they watch me. You do that like a prostitute and your whole family Hass to do that some of the Kennedys yeah you guys are like prostitutes he just owned billions of dollars worth of oil that everyone uses so we’re everywhere to just like you probably even possibly further than you are around the whole world with farmer a lasting impact if you look at the butterfly effect so to speak and yet nobody knows who we are. We have total privacy and anonymity because we inherited the oil we’ve had in our family for over 100 years and it just happen to be useful. You can’t say that you’ve had to scrimp and save and push yourself for decades to get where you are we just have it like it’s no fucking big deal That is why it matters that’s why I’m a bigger deal than you socially. That’s why you’re a shit compared to me and my family that’s why all of you are morons because it does mean something or nothing means anything you dip shit.” says Lacey.
“ no I mean I get it you’re right the anonymity and the fact that you guys can just wait for the thousand dollars to come in the mail every month.” says Chris.
“ yeah yeah one month my father who raise me made $90,000 and he didn’t have to do a thing so I’m sorry guys have to work so hard for the money that you’ve gotten all that must be really rewarding to be peasants that have to work for your money.” says Lacey.
A poor woman reading laughs.
“ OK but we made it like in our heads that like you guys were like Deb shit farm people who got the oil because you were too stupid to realize it what it what it would do to your water.” says Erin.
“ no that’s not who we are. I’m so sorry that your intellect is limited to Hollywood films in the last 50 years. that’s sad but that’s possibly the level of your awareness of anything.” says Laceyz
“ why do we piss you off so much? if you weren’t if you’re not still in love with Diego?” says Chris.
“ because you’ve terrorized her life Chris you guys have maybe not you specifically but you guys have been part of of of her whole life falling apart I mean people are literally Satan us in the illuminati and they’ve literally tried to kill her multiple times and they’re still trying to terrorize her so I don’t know why that would make her angry.” says Satan.
“ OK that makes some sense I guess. But I don’t understand why you were so mad at the beginning I mean it just seems like you were really in love with Diego and I just think that’s stupid because he didn’t even know him.” says Mina.
A reader laughs.
“ oh yeah I’ll I don’t think she was unreasonably in love. I think you take her love very seriously because she’s not a narcissist and she’s very deep and intense and so it seemed amazing to you but then you’re insecure too so you probably miss the fact that she also actually had some doubts and some hesitations, so it’s like no she actually was probably slightly not insecure but rather on interested in Diego but that’s not something that she expressed because that’s not where her heart was so it’s like she had some reservations but it just she was trying to take him seriously.” says Lem. “ so why was she so angry? It’s not because she was not in love with him. It really isn’t. You guys are so attached to that and it’s sad. You’ve been attached that now for about 10 years almost him. No I’m sorry I know her pretty damn well we fuck every night. Almost sincerely we probably will tonight too or tomorrow. I mean just go to sleep eventually right yeah we fuck ourselves to sleep like any normal married couple who is in love maybe we did that a while ago you never know right but that’s the thing, so how about that let’s just say I was straight and that it was really unusually screwed up compared to most people in the sense that I pretended to be gay and most people aren’t quite that eccentric also except I think some people my generation could’ve been like that but especially if they were well-meaning and innocent like I was him but that’s the thing if you had knowing that she was my twin flame and it is in the twin flame in Christianity as a Cearley but if you had known that she was going to end up with me for eternity for real try to analyze this if you had knowing that she was going to end up with me for eternity and then I was actually straight with a personality sort of like city poleaxed sincerely and I don’t care if Bobby knows that or not he’s interrupting me right now psychically and no I’m sorry that is my real personality. I’m sorry you weren’t perceptive enough to realize that Bobby butt, no it is somewhat similar. I’m a lot less giddy than I think you think Alyssa say I’m straight OK with the personalities I like Sydney Pollack I’m sorry to have to keep repeating myself but apparently I have to and that she’s my twin flame and I was a drug addict for over 10 years. I sucked men’s cocks because I thought I was gay and you what are the truth that’s not offputting to her coming from me some people that would do that she would be totally put off by me doing that she just looks at me like I’m crazy tries to figure out where the hell I’m coming from, but then that’s Lacey. I think there’s some people that would just be. It’s like he thought he was gay regularly gave some people oral sex tried anal sex tried being gay and it didn’t work. It really didn’t by the way and then was a heroin addict for years before he died with maggots in his sink in York city in the 70s discovered he was straight through pornography in theaters in Times Square at three clock in the morning looking for heroin at night. Yeah that’s her twin flame and yet she was on Instagram going on and on about the beauty of Chanel 22 very beautifully. I might add very with a lot of depth and and and genuine sadness but if you had known that was who she was and that yes, she’s the kind of wife who would have a husband who would think it was perfectly normal for them to almost have sex every night just because they love each other that much and because they both need it and because that’s how they fall asleep right next to each other after having had sex, nothing unhealthy that’s just who they are would you have thought to tell her that you were desperately in love with her?” says Lem.
“ no .” says Chris.
“ to be honest Chris that’s part of your conundrum with her that you never seem to understand I was born in 1916 she was born in 1983 a film that’s bizarrely similar to my life in a weird way. It came out the year she was born and she was not supposed to be born in 1983, but she was, and that is not something that God can do anything about at this point but that’s the reality of the situation. I had a horrible life without her and I wouldn’t say her life is gone particularly well either relatively speaking we’re from a very different time Chris and we’re old so what she doesn’t want to say to you but she doesn’t want to sing through is how somebody could be so dumb. I’m sorry but dumb
How did you not realize how dangerous it was to let Diego go on and on anon talking to her the way that he wants and I try to bring this up the other day even if her family didn’t have all that oil and she was just faking her superiority Why would you assume she was a safe person to pick a fight with it if it was a really big risk to take and that irritates Lacey and myself because the illuminati is comprised of people who are seemingly running the world and it’s not a place to play pranks people do that, but it’s really not a wise thing to do. It’s actually incredibly immature and disrespectful of everyone else that you’re in league with will say, I don’t understand how it made sense to you to do that to them but I also don’t understand how they’ve tolerated it from you because to Lacey night it was an incredibly stupid immature dangerous thing to do and we don’t understand why they think it makes sense to tolerate it.” says Lem.
“ it doesn’t make sense.” says Chris.
“ so you just can’t figure out what the fuck is wrong with us we are trying to be empathetic, but we’ve gone so far over the edge that you’re being a bitch to us ?” says Mina to Lacey.
“ yes, very good bingo that is absolutely correct.” says Lacey.
“ what do you actually think of us?” says Erin.
“ oh, I think if I told you you would think I was buttering you up and insulting you at the same time but I can’t resist your fascinating. I see an incredibly interesting person in the sense that I have to think your family came from Scandinavia yeah and Germany and maybe Poland or some thing and so I see all of your ancestors who came over who I know some thing about because I grew up in a family that was very into such things right now I have a relative who’s in Norway traveling with his daughter because we go to Norway frequently and he’s in Norway with his daughter. They’re researching our family and so that’s just some thing I grew up with you know so now I know something about your family to potentially and I feel bad for them, because I knows where they went through the winters on the prairie, the farming that was very hard and I’m sure that they just kept pushing themselves thinking someday you know my great granddaughter will be a big deal and then they’re there you are and I’m sure by their standards you really are a very big deal. You probably are talked about a lot in your hometown and there’s something very beautiful and romantic about that the small town, you know in the 90s even that was a while ago even back then the small town still existed because the people who really lives there you know and the greatest generation we’re all dead when we were little so you actually grew up in a real small town and that way maybe they still exist somewhat but it’s a fairy story book like romantic life that you’ve led the small town girl from Wisconsin who pushes herself and just amazingly makes it to the top. I think that part of you is fascinating but I don’t think you appreciate it enough and I think you get far too focused on trying to see the process and ways of you know society and sophistication, but those are not your strong suits you’re not a particularly sophisticated person, you’re clever but you’re not sophisticated almost at all or cultured and culture isn’t just about reading the right books when you’re in college it’s about the context and reading them to some degree and away your whole life you can’t make up for social class background blocking sorry am you don’t have it probably worth in some people but you don’t have what I have. I don’t have what I would generally consider a minimum degree of sophistication to truly be considered a sophisticated person, I think you are clever though and I think you’re hard-working and I think you’re very fascinating person more than you realize and I don’t maybe you do realize that but I don’t know I can’t tell it seems like you’re just not aware that that’s really actually far more faster than you think.” says Lacey to Erin.
“ actually it is she’s right it is fascinating how how did you avoid ending up in the country or even really just living in a city like Chicago or Minneapolis? Like how did you end up in New York? It really is fascinating Erin. for real.”!says a reader.
“ oh Mina is very upper middle class and Asian and I’ll leave it at that.
Chris is Chris is a sad scary difficult person.
Diego is tragic.” says Lacey.
“ we are rich.” says Chris.
“ yeah, that’s true you are.” says Lacey.
“ even though your cousin might on an $8 million estate and her husband might make 200,000 a year and and they just pay very small amount of money and property taxes on their estate he’s not making what I make every year.” says Chris.
“ yeah wow boy yeah I would definitely take 500,000 a year or 1 million whatever it is that you make living in the shit hole that has become New York City working like a dog drinking drinking. What was it a Diet Coke and Jack Daniels at 11 o’clock at night totally prefer that lifestyle over what is it like 100 acres rich neighbors privacy and a sprawling estate. My husband my my cousins house is Mike my cousins house is probably about I don’t know 10 to 15,000 ft.² on about 100 acres maybe more I mean they don’t like it’s all private information very hush-hush. I have lots of friends I have a feeling and her kids are doing really well. Their water is fine we don’t really drink the water out not really I mean maybe but we’ve had problems without water for like decades it’s nothing new and no yeah I don’t. I don’t think you seem to understand math as well as my husband thought you did once he went swimming you were really good at statistics I don’t know if this is real there’s illuminati you seem like an idiot how do you not understand that a $200,000 salary in North Dakota when you already have 8 million is pretty damn nice it’s far superior to your Lifestyle.” says Lacey.
“ I mean she’s right Chris, $200,000 with like no debt when you already have 8 million in the bank so to speak and they probably yeah maybe have 10, million at this point even so they’re worth more than you they have a better investment and he’s making $200,000 so I would say that that’s that’s probably nicer than what you have you’re never going to be worth necessarily as much as they are or have a house like theirs that’s never going to happen for you ever when will you ever have a $10-$15,000 house on 100 acre state when will you ever have that when you’re old and retired like Tom Brokaw he’s not as wealthy I don’t think as the people in her family necessarily he might be but I’m not sure about that and he’s older so they’re enjoying that lifestyle while they’re young. You’ll experience that when you’re retired and live where I can’t even imagine you living in the Midwest, that doesn’t even make sense you grow up in the Bronx so the best you can hope for is a one to $2 million house some somewhere in the Hamptons him maybe three or four and then that’s it because you’ll have to maintain that house after you retire and it’ll never be a 15 to yeah they’ll never be a 15,000 square acre house.” says a woman.
“ oh, I’m still famous and you’re not.” says Chris.
“ you’re right, I don’t really necessarily care but you’re right.” says Lacey.
“ I can’t understand that there are some gay people that can’t fathom that line was possibly straight. If not probably strays and I can’t imagine someone actually thinking that an $8 million estate is better than my life in North Dakota because to me it’s like it’s still North Dakota and I just can’t imagine that being as nice as living in the house I live in that yeah is like a lot smaller, but still it’s nice and I’m still multimillionaire and I’m famous and to me that’s just so fucking impressive that I can’t. I can’t imagine I just can’t imagine preferring more money even if it’s in North Dakota and more land and a bigger house.” says Chris.
“ why is it maybe you really love New York that much I don’t have a very different view of New York than you do to me New York City is a place to hide not get famous I would go to New York to hide. I would go there to make a name for myself um and age I just with global warming and lots of other stuff I just can’t imagine at this point being quite so attached to it maybe if it was 1943 or even 1956 I might think well you know but the same time, though, Chris land really is quite great being able to look out the window and see trees and hills that belong to you and being able to possibly buy a horse arm having arguably fountains and gardens that are yours. Um, that’s a vastly superior experience to anything that New York can provide it. It’s funny how people never realize that I guess that New York is a shit hole compared to the state that’s genuinely belonging to somebody in the aristocracy.” says Lacey.
“ I mean she’s right I am not supposed to exist that I do I was listening to this conversation. It really is weird that you don’t get it my apartment in the TV show that I star in that I’m actually really real it’s like a weird alternate universe kind of but not really. It’s so much better than yours and I am not famous, but I am a bigger deal than you are in away and honestly no I’m sorry I would’ve had respect for you. Interestingly, in a similar way to how she does, but I also would’ve seen you so much beneath me.
You are impressive I just I think this is how she sees it to your not as impressive as you seem to think you are, if this is really you.” says Don Draper.
“ and New York City isn’t it it’s not it’s nice as her cousins estate.” says Joan.
“ Why isn’t that your estate?” says a woman.
“ Well because her father is the one that started Craft electric and he made a lot of money for 15 years off of the oil boom he started years ago. There was an oil room in the 1970s that he made a lot of money off of and then he just kind of kept the company just as a maybe will see you someday and then he made a lot of money. There’s no way that would ever be my state. That’s their their money and their immediate family even though it’s related to the well and you know we’re all related but it’s it’s very much her very much for money very much her estate.” says Lacey.
“ so if you hadn’t thought you were in love with me, would you have wanted to pursue a relationship with me at all?” says Chris.
“ no not at all.” says Lacey.
“ oh, crap, that’s true.” says a woman.
“ what are you looking for in a living man?” says Dr. Moritz.
“ Guys I went to Yale, so maybe I have a better education than you and I’m Asian I hate to break it to you but I really genuinely wonder if Michael was weirdly who was supposed to be here and then wasn’t and if she actually was looking for him Chris he keeps telling us that they would’ve met over Azmat art I highly suspect that you could’ve been channeling him, and that her fascination with what was happening and romanticizing of the whole thing was probably something he would’ve understood and related to. I would be curious to know what it is about that kind of communication that they find so romantic, but that’s a different conversation.” says Mina.
“ it actually is fascinating. I practically manifested in her kitchen. What do we find so refreshing and energizing and amazing but basically it’s just a retarded me to write him I’m joking no yeah it’s we’re both very intelligent people. Um, I think growing up in the Rockefellers, and growing up in the family that she did, you were taught to control yourself. So you weren’t able to say things that you wanted to say openly it’s not like I’m gay we’re just like I don’t like that or I want this or this is sad because you always feel sort of like you have to be a certain way. 
And I think we liked being able to communicate…silently. And…we’d have found each other attractive. You know? Say a lot…in our souls.” says Michael.
“I don’t think…I get why you would be so hurt though?” says Chris.
“I mean…you were mocking her.” says Michael.
“Yeah.” says Lacey.
“So…you ate!” says Chris.
“The Apple?” says Lem.
“Yeah.” says Chris.
“Not necessarily?” says Lacey.
“She’s not buying your act.” says Lem.
“Anyway.” says Lacey.
“ Chris do you realize Diego just started talking to a random person who found him attractive and statistically harassing them because that’s really all that happened and it’s like I was a joke you know honestly though that’s dumb because in reality he just started statistically talking to a random person.” says a wizard.
“ yeah I think you’re expecting Chris for us to be in your head and his head in a way that’s like not really natural but I have no idea how you don’t get that.” says a psychic.
“ we’ve been just sitting here waiting for your reaction Chris can you say some thing because I’m annoyed.” says Don Draper.
“ I think I just I thought she was arousing and then I thought it be just fun to flirt but not like take it too far just sorta have a few laughs so speak.” says Chris.
“ but that’s such bullshit anyway.” says Lacey.
“ but I mean that’s your perspective on it if my wife and I have a somewhat open marriage to me it’s not I think it’s just sort of fun.” says Chris.
“ well why I don’t I don’t get the point of talking to someone and fucking them and they never seen them again at the hell is that that’s just stupid.” says Lacey.
“ actually she’s right it kind of is genuinely just stupid. I mean you’re becoming one temporary with that person and then I guess that’s just a temporary unity it’s really an incredibly intimate act it’s really like you’re forcing yourself to be that intimate with someone because you don’t know them it’s not like it just happens usually me it could but then what is that but generally people don’t you sleep with each other for no reason you kind of make yourself do it on a certain level even if you find the person attractive and then when it’s over, you might feel some relief sexually if you’re not married but but as a temporary relief, it’s just an illusion because that person’s gone.” says Lem.
“ I think I liked being single and I like thinking that I can get people now because of my status that I couldn’t get before but then not really committing to them because of my wife.” says Chris.
“ so fucking what it doesn’t work.” says Lacey.
“ OK let’s just say you’re right and it actually doesn’t work psychologically even physically or spiritually I I just don’t care you’re right it might be dumb. Maybe there’s something slightly dense or screwed up about me but for some reason I enjoy it so that’s sort of the idea.” says Chris.
“ yeah OK.” says Lacey, shrugging.
Silence.
“ are you waiting for something?” says Chris.
“ yeah because it seems like somethings supposed to be said after this, but I don’t know what.” says Lacey.
“ yeah like goodbye.” says Chris Matthews.
“ yes but it’s too late for that now so I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what he supposed to say either it’s just sort of a mess.” says Lacey.
“ well and really I don’t even think you were interested at him so it’s just all stupid.” says the CIA.
“ yeah she has nothing to say Chris you’re waiting for something to happen this we’re waiting for you.” says Lem.
“ i’m disappointed that you weren’t more into me.” says Chris.
“You mean like actually you?” says Lacey
“ yeah.” says Chris
“ well are you weren’t really into me either so I don’t understand what your pointers entirely.” says Lacey.
Awkward silence.
“ well, I don’t think your joke is funny because I think it’s theoretically possible that someone could fall in love telepathically I’m a distance actually if this is real, I would be shocked if it hasn’t actually happened before I especially people who don’t even know what they’re doing um, but I am just seems like a sad, tragic sort of fuck up the way that you thought I was however, interested in you that I was the way that I thought you were someone very different than who you are and it just was in a total disaster.” says Lacey.
“ are you guys this is really all that’s happening right now so if you’re holding out hope that she’s going to start getting angry or a pissy in some way. Just let it go because that’s never going to happen that’s just not at all who she is and people who have had that idea of her and their head, or possibly just stupid or arrogant or incredibly narcissistic.” says Don.
“ shit Chris I really don’t think she was into you sweetie almost at all .” says the CIA.
“ then she was weeping over Michael Chris we’ve been over this. This is a movie talked about like last February and you told her essentially that Michael could never love her which is just patently absurd but that’s what you essentially ended up telling her should this be a real conversation and even if it’s not, it might still be so I think you’ll have to grass but at some point that’s the way actual reality of what’s happening and that that’s just all that that’s possible almost all that happened on a certain level was that she really thought you were someone very different than you are and it just things got weird.” says M6.
“A lot of our people are confused.” says MSNBC. “ so she made a huge impression on people because it was so unusual and then they came up with a Spruce conclusions about people in themselves, and sometimes deep things like the war with Russia, and they may have overestimated certain things and underestimated certain things, and we’re in deep trouble.” says Chris.
“Like what?” says Lem.
“Like we assumed my viewers were more invested in my life than they are.” he says.
Awkward silence.
“I don’t think I have a good excuse. Other than my life.” says Chris.
“So…why are we talking to her?” says a wizard. “ tell me exactly what happened.”
“ Diego got drunk he started talking to her I don’t know.” says Chris.
“ well, you’re not gonna get the last 10 years back of your life, Chris and you’ve spent a lot more of it trying to harass her because you think that somehow it makes sense that it ever dead or does. Like you’ve literally wasted 10 years of your life and so have a lot of other people and I have yet to understand what any of you are getting out of it. It’s bizarre!” says Michael.
“ it seems kind of creepy to me now because I feel like we’ve spent 10 years dismantling the Kennedy mystique rearranging European boundaries and away possibly ending in the United States of America and altering the cow was other things and I don’t entirely know why but basically it seems like yes, we’ve been triggering cataclysmic events by attacking her.” says Chris.
“ yeah and you know if she if there’s reincarnations she really is Scotia like for real and I really was Constantine and I mean I was straight regardless and so is she I know she’s not Jack but really if there’s a big carnation I actually am her twin flame for surgery so essentially you picked a fight with Constantine, the great‘s twin flame him I don’t really know why if there’s a big carnation if not it was just mine but I don’t really know why like why is this bizarre to me at 88888 I still can’t fathom it even if there’s not reincarnation, I don’t get why you would think it makes sense to attack someone but especially someone like her she was clearly not stupid even if you thought she was ridiculous for some reason so it didn’t make sense frankly the people that used to attack her sometimes in the perfume community were a little bazaar as well I think maybe they were hoping some of them I think we’re hoping that that that she would get intimidated by the sheer number of them but I think the rest of them were just in panic mode and somehow thought it made sense to attack her for some psychotic reason it’s not possible for you too?” says Lem.
“ if it is, I am too, unaware of myself to realize that.” says Chris.
“ lame did you really honestly just want me to die? “ says Bobby.
“ yes, I did.” says Lem. “ I thought you were a sociopath Bobby, potentially.”
“ I will tell you why I attacked her.” says Diego. “ oh, I was trying to end the world Chris I was mad for my people and I was trying to end the world.”
“ That’s not that’s not like a thing to do though Diego that’s so bizarre.” says an actress.
“ I am a doll my people suffer enough, and I am going to bring justice to the earth through blood.” says Diego.
“ like our blood though do you go?” says a woman.
“ the blood of every man, woman and child, who are alive.” says Diego.
“ are you trying to cause a nuclear holocaust right now and like with Kursk or something Diego?” says an actress.
“ that’s very perceptive, very perceptive indeed.” says Diego.
“ so you’re trying to Casi declare war right now?” says an actress.
“ yes, it’s cycling so well turns out it’s far trickier than I thought, but I’m making some headway.” says Diego.
“ Well, I think we’re going to go to bed everyone have a good night.” says Lem.
Keen to Cross the Pond 