“Matt & Lacey Chit Chat” by Lem

“Would you really have actually made a move on me?” says Lacey.

“Yes, I would have. If if God had allowed me to to be with you, I would have absolutely.” he says.

“That’s very shocking.” says Lacey.

“I knew you’d feel that way, which is why I didn’t do it. But it is true.” says Matt.

Lacey sits and thinks.

“It’s getting very hard to be alive and I’m not saying that because of this. It’s just-it’s getting very difficult to be alive.” says Lacey. 

“I think you’re confused. I came onto you.” says Matt to Lacey.

“Who were you? I barely I knew you, but I didn’t really know you who were you.” says Lacey.

“ part of the reason I wanted to kill myself was because I saw some of the child hostages who were within US custody in Iraq. I know I was I was I’m sorry I was dealing with very top-secret information and then trusted me but they also knew that I had no idea what was going on, no idea and so it was like you know Matt’s never going to figure this out that these kids are really being transported because they’re going to be used as hostages for people for sexual purposes or what we would call sexual purposes it’s not really sexual because the truth is the kids are just being abused, but I saw some of the kids they would report. They were all crammed together in like one room and they all looks like they were waiting for some thing and it wasn’t. It wasn’t necessarily for someone to come and molest them. It was partially they were waiting for drugs. They would drug the kids and with sedatives partially because they thought that it was helpful to keep them from being yeah, too loud or screaming, or overly traumatized by all the bombing and then partially because they were more vulnerable. That way US soldiers would use them temp. Sometimes I Rockies frequently would and it was really hard to see but I had no idea what I was sick. I thought they were all these kids just in these random rooms together it’s like an orphanage or something but you know there wasn’t time to sit around chitchatting asking tons of questions and I just didn’t it didn’t come to me to do it one way or another and never came to me to ask who are these kids? What’s going on?

But then, when I saw you no information coming out in the last year about the kids that were child hostages I don’t even read about them on her blog I thought that’s what it was. That’s what I saw were those child hostages.

Do you know do you want me to be blunt with you soon? It is just a crap being molested, but actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if the father that raised me who I would claim molested me he would probably disagree, but that’s what I recall and it probably happened, he did molest me covertly regardless, I am not so covertly in someways, but it’s not really worth talking about necessarily, but the pointers of being molested and possibly been given drugs myself I can speak from experience and saying it doesn’t last long when you give a child drugs like that psychologically, it actually sort of snaps them out of it. And they stop thinking that the whole thing makes sense cause it’s sort of like why are you what the fuck is going on you know cause it’s like he starts or interacting with the supernatural when you’re a little bit intoxicated and so the children might seem more easy but the truth is there more distant why were they doing that to suppose?” says Lacey.

“ because they were thinking that it would help their evil cause so to speak.” says Matt.

“ well that shows that they have no freaking idea what’s going on poor bastards. I hope they don’t go to hell.” says Lacey.

“ you’re right there probably doesn’t work either. I am I started hating myself though before I killed myself because I started thinking about those kids and I kept thinking there was one little girl in particular who is dark and sweet and she looks so sad and I just wanted to go back in time and rescue her.” says Matt. “ The way she looked out the window like her whole life was already over. She was only four or five years old probably and I think why the hell was I defending this country with these children that are being used like that I thought people died, and that little girl sat there, that’s what I was doing and I just couldn’t stand it anymore. My kids seemed like spoiled brats compared to those kids a lot of the kids that I coach seem like spoiled brats compared to those poor children and I just thought you know what I’ve screwed up. My head is just totally insane. There’s something horribly wrong with me. It’s not that I am right And that American kids are very spoiled and that those kids would’ve been better off dead or growing up thinking that America was a good place not that we were going to somehow let them suffer. And so I am I killed myself because I thought I mean Dad Amin coach I’m not kind and wicked anyway there are many reasons why I killed myself, but that was one of them.” says Matt.

“ um why didn’t you just do something about it? It never occurred to you?” says Lacey.

“ do you mean like start a Civil War?” says Matt.

“ I am yeah I didn’t mean to start Civil War actually or or something along those lines because I feel like you could have gone back there if you really planned it and bomb those children but I suppose that was a long time ago now.” says Lacey.

“ no I mean this is part of what I’m fighting for Lacey if I’m not lying it is it’s part of the reason I’m fighting and fighting in Ukraine was because I got sick of hearing about shit like that all the time your country is financially destitute Matthew and China knows that all of Asia knows that South America knows that I know that Europe is in denial about it and they enable the United States to pretend like it’s not happening. Lacey knows him so be careful talking to Lacey. It’s not an ego boost even if you were British aristocrat I’m a Romanov so be careful and I mean that very kindly.” says Tsar Putin.

“ I actually find encouraging because I don’t like to wallow in despair so it’s nice to know that someone gives a shit who is still alive.” says Matt.

“ I better I guess, huh?” says Tsar Putin.

“ I will hold you to it as a gentleman I will hold you to it.” says Matt.

Tsar Putin nods.

“ I wonder if they’re all alive or dead? I think a lot of them are probably dead. A few of them might be alive.” says Lacey.

“You know the truth is though they sensed your love, even if you never said anything in their spirits, they could tell that you cared.” says God.

“ oh damn, no see that’s the freaking thing that is so irritating about me. I actually care on a very high or like a higher level maybe not like reincarnate like not New Age necessarily but on a higher level, I actually do care but the brutal part of me thinks. Oh what a rotten loser you are Matthew how could you not know that that was the kind of shit that was happening?” says Lacey,

“ I didn’t think this country was like that.” says Matt.

“Why? Your grandfather knew better. Why did you think that this country was so good?” says Lacey. 

“And that’s why I fell in love with you.” says Matt.

“ but then why did you have that kind? All right then why did you have that confusion?” says Lacey.

“ what did I miss?” says Matt.

Lacey thinks.

“ people thought my grandfather was insane and my family was very embarrassed by it and so I grew up not wanting to make waves or for people to think that I was like him and so you know even if I had a doctoral degree in my subconscious from the University of Observation I was not one to ever site, advertise such credentials. And so I did, I just I knew the same way that you knew to some degree, but I didn’t realize that it was real the way that you instinctively did and do.

If your father is actually biologically Tom that is genetic and if not, then it’s complicated, but you just knew you just instantly knew you knew you knew you just knew. So what was it? What was it about the way that not told you the information about my grandfather’s research? What was it that tips you off to thinking that it was a real?” says Matt.

“ it it was just it was just simply that it was the way that Tonette said it. If I’m illegitimate, I picked up on some thing intuitively with her just because I might have had to live through the holocaust or I might’ve had to deal with some thing with someone in my generation that was very difficult to deal with very intuitively so it was the way she said it I think or something but her eyes in the way she held her face and the way she looked to the side and look down it was something about the way she did that that made me think oh dear, she thinks this is actually possible.

And I said no no no this is legitimate. This woman is not stupid and she’s very real and authentic and I think that she’s telling me the truth. And so I said no no I don’t think people don’t take this seriously enough. I think there could even be more there that he doesn’t know and so are unlike you if I had seen that film that you might have seen that documents child hostages whatever it is that you saw that indicated that to you, I might have thought oh fuck it I’m going to start destroying things, and my strategy would’ve been to top of the US and being the military mind that I am, I might actually be able to do it.” says Lacey.

“ yeah, I am a man and I am far superior to you. It’s a joke I know but it’s interesting. I would actually love to know what you would come up with, but you’ll have to know that I might share it with some people.” says Matt.

“ and I would even bet that I could come up with it myself I just never thought to.” says Lem.

“ well, this is awkward.” says Matt.

“ i’m so sorry you’re dead. I did find you attractive and I just thought it was bizarre and I didn’t want to be inappropriate.” says Lacey.

“ you can’t do that you can’t do that Lacey can’t do that.” says Matt.

“ what was I supposed to do at your wedding wearing my brown dress?” says Lacey.

“ I have no idea either Lacey or I have I have no idea I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know either.” says Maria.

“ what was I supposed to do?” says Lacey.

“ did you just breathe better than you have the whole time?” says Helena.

“

But yes, no way (says JFK)

“ yes, Innoway, I did.” says Lacey. 

“ that was a breath from your past life potentially, I may have worked that one out.” says Helena.

“ that actually is nice thank you I needed that oxygen don’t harm yourself so giving that to me please Jesus protect them in Jesus name.” says Lacey.