“Me”

California Gurls by Katy Perry plays.

Jonah dances at 5 ft. 8 (short for most straitened women) and bends his knees. Air guitars. On the sand. With his open mouth and huge smile.

1:30

“What do I do Jonah? I experienced church hurt.” asks this woman:

*Some Things I’ll Never Know by Teddy Swims plays.*

“I can’t really relate to you, but I have experienced pain as a Christian and in my church life and I’m incredibly…aware of…Christ.” says Jonah. “He makes himself known over time.”

The song ends.

Dark Horse by Katy Perry plays.

“Jonah I have experienced severe church hurt and I just don’t know anymore what I’m gonna do with my life.” says this woman

“Oh my gosh, Christ loves you! I just want to speak into your life how much Jesus loves you I just want to speak into your heart 1000 loves songs is what he says to you.” says this guy:

“No. I’m good.” says Lem. “I’ll pass.”

“Oh my God I am so fucking hot. I am so fucking in love with myself though my god oh my god. Oh my God.” says this woman.

“ yeah I I I’m not interested. Thanks so much. This is more my speed:

1:25

“She ugly? She your mommy, she your grandma…and you’re blind? That’s fine. But let’s be honest those curves can hit. She orgasms. I don’t know about that woman up there. I don’t think she even knows what a fucking orgasm really is.” says Lacey.

2:25

The song plays until the end.

“I keep waiting for my father to save me and I think he cares but I don’t think he can.” says Bobby Kennedy Junior about his dad.

“I’m going to cry!” says this woman:

“I’m too young for her.” says Jonah.

“Oh my god, Jonah. She’s too sexual. I’m pretty sure she’s a demoniac. Or a prostitute. Or a huge witchy slut.” says this woman:

“What’s your grandma look like?” asks the CIA.

“She looks nice. But you’re…weird. Your poor grandma.” says Lacey.

“No. My grandkids aren’t that hateful. But…some women who look like me do…have…bratty, weird grandkids.” says this woman:

“Well. I’m the victim. As always. Woe is me. Of course.” says Jonah.

“Geez. And all I wanted was to be loved. And…understood. And…helped. Ahh…I’m…the victim.” he says crying.

“I’m sad too!” says this woman

“Crap. We’re getting old.” says a Millennial woman to Lacey.

Later.

“I’m not understanding.” says Jonah.

“You’re…not hotter than me. That’s pathetic. I’m sorry. I’m genuinely extremely beautiful. It’s nit at all contrived. Or painted. Or plastic. It’s entirely genetic. Or me. Or both. …I’m not crazy. It’s just…what I am.

You’re good-looking. But not that good-looking.

That’s my ideal.” says Lacey.

She thinks.

“Or that:

You’re not that good-looking. You’re JUST NOT.

He’s…my type.

And…it’s ugly to talk this way to someone. So why are you doing it?” says Lacey. “I’m doing it because I’m ANGRY. Why are you?”

“What does a gay look like. Give me REALLY OBVIOUSLY GAY MEN.” says Peter Thiel.

“I’m seeing GLARING similarities. Like…obvious similarities. But…are you sure they’re gay. Not bi?” says a gay man.

“Should I find bi?” says Lacey.

“YES!!!” says a bisexual. “PLEASE.”

“I might be a little off about the bisexuals. I can see straight and gays better.” says Lacey. “More bisexuals:

“Bisexual men are handsome.” says a female reader.

“Do straight men. And complicated people in each category.” says an actress.

“Dicey bisexuals:

Possibly straight:

Possibly gay:

(Jack Kennedy is obviously gay…but also obviously bisexual for some reason)

Straight men:

Confusing but gay or bisexual once you study them:

“ I have to be honest these people really all do look alike and if she’s right that that’s true for all these people, why are we taking her a hell of a lot more seriously like her IQ is showing of a feeling she is a genius and that this is exactly accurate and I’m a little creeped out that you guys aren’t taking this more seriously.” says a reader.

“ because we’re not all as smart as her, and so, even if we study these peoples faces, and we use AI, which Peter might even be doing as we speak for all, we know him, and we find genetic like eugenics similarities, which we could actually end up doing based on what she just shared it’s gonna be really hard for us to know how to find those jeans after we even see a pattern does it if that makes any sense it’s like we can see that there’s a pattern on a I could start trying to find some sort of almost like algorithm to be honest there is clearly an algorithm developing even as we speak potentially that being said, even if his least arrest the questions over lame who has the information how accurate is it but it could actually end up proving that he was straight and then we what do we do with that information because she already knew some people already think it’s incredibly likely that he probably was and then what do we do with it because it’s like OK Bobby’s repressed bisexual Jonah Wiley is a request. Bisexual outline was totally bat shit crazy when it came to his understanding of himself and were in a terrible situation because of that at least in part and I mean it’s like OK yeah it’s useful, but it’s not it’s not necessarily useful it’s not necessarily all that useful but it could be I said here’s a problem it is useful but then who’s going to be using it and to be perfectly honest I think Peter made the right call because things are so bad right now that depending on who’s analyzing stuff, they could end up finding this information before we do and then they could just start killing gay people or killing straight people or killing bisexual people I mean I don’t know what they’re gonna do with it, so I think he definitely made the right call and we needed to find this stuff out and it’s also a little sad because how did she even if she’s a genius how did she figure this out, she figured it out because she’s been incredibly lonely and she’s gone through incredible torture with men and I think she’s been way too observant person. I think she’s had way too much time on her hands in a sense to just sit around analyzing everything which goes back to some thing, someone said earlier today about her being a Virgo Libra, I find out a little scary because I think that actually is very Virgo. And you know what that’s up to God to sort through, but Virgos do over analyze a lot. And I have a feeling that this is sort of sad in a way, because how does she have all this time on her hands to analyze every every man that she’s ever met every boy that she’s ever met everybody because obviously, some of these people she got turned down by or she was hurt by visitors there’s her father And there’s nothing Pat, or feel like about either one of them and I honestly think she just knows now she can just look at people and see it because she’s getting that fine tuned and that’s great in a way but there’s something really sad about it because it’s like OK that probably happened really quickly to her in a sense but I don’t buy it was that quick I think it was decades literally of being rejected not being hurt And just being generally extraordinarily alone and trying to figure out why she was alone, and to be blunt, possibly you know, staring and crushing on men who are dead I’m sure she spent hours watching old movies looking at old pictures thinking oh they were so handsome possibly even shows from the early 80s like family ties I have a feeling she saw that stuff and she probably thought oh they’re so good looking I wish that I was that age I wish I had been around back then and it does just sad because this woman has been analyzing everybody to extreme degrees so yes it’s helpful but then for some people they feel a little uneasy because it’s like there’s a spiritual component, and it’s like how do we know this information.” says the CIA.

“ how can she figure women out that well or has that that’s not really a thing?” says Marsie.

“ no no until she start having problems with women hitting on her or problems with women expecting her to know she really hadn’t figured them out almost at all but then we started gluing her in the last few years and so she started figuring them out so she’s been able to start labeling the women now, but previous to that she had not labeled women at all. She just was mostly totally mystified.” says the CIA.

“ so we’ve obviously talked with her more and been evil and good both.” says Marsie.

“ you know it is useful information no mercy it’s not like it isn’t useful. It’s just there’s some men who are possibly mostly gay or having to really eat crow because they’re having to deal with the fact that she’s probably just right about them and they just cannot get over it because they thought he was gay and if she’s right, it’s kind of creepy to them.” says the CIA.

“ she has analyzed a lot of men, though let’s be honest it is sort of unusual that being said as a plastic surgeon I am not as shocked by it because I’m a very gifted plastic surgeon and I analyze people to. I think that is just how her mind works.” says a plastic surgeon.

“ so you really just analyze everything constantly?” says an actor to Lacey.

“ oh yeah, I just analyzed like 50 things possibly just as you asked that.” says Lacey.

“ OK so you’ve been very lonely you figure it out a lot in the last 40 years 41 years OK are you getting bored or are you not getting bored?” he says.

“ I think I started getting bored when I was a child when I was about three years old and then things started to takeoff again when I was about five or six, and then things started to takeoff again when I was about 10 and has been better since then just there’s always something down the list it’s up and it sounds like I’m some sort of freak but I don’t think I’m quite that fried or or whatever that would be. I’m just, I just I’ve analyzed a lot in my life.” says Lacey.

“ sorry I interrupted your blog.” says Marsie.

“ you know that actually has really bothered me but I just let it go or did I but I think I’ve just gotten so used to losing things that I like over the years. I’ve had a really awful life and that way that I just sort of like oh it’s like OK well I’ve had this happen before, so what else is new?” says Lacey.

“Did you all realize she was so into analyzing things?” says someone to the perfume community.

Later.

“No.” says the perfume community. “We did not know.”

“What the hell did you think it was!?” yell the Rockefellers.

“I would have loved her analytical mind.” says Michael Rockefeller.

“I’m not BISEXUAL!” yells Bobby.

“Neither am I!” yells Jonah.

“Man!” says Bobby.