“You’re not…impressive. Except you are. …Why don’t you care? At all. About how you look!? …Brooks Brothers sweaters. Sandals. Great skin. But…I can tell you barely give a shit at all. …And at first I want to think you’re ugly or a lesbian or that you just don’t…matter. But then I look more closely at you and I realize that you don’t…care.” says a woman who saw Lacey in public today.
“Lacey.
We need to talk. I’m worried you’re Scotia.” says Drew Barrymore.
“Whatever.” says Lacey.
Mouthful Of Diamonds by Phantogram plays.
“So you don’t feel…better than me. Other than for how you may actually be better.” says Drew.
“Yes.” says Lacey.
“Then this song is entirely sarcastic.” says Drew.
They listen.
“Mostly.” she says.
2:11
“You’re in disguise. And so is Vladimir. If there’s reincarnation.” says Drew.
Lacey yawns.
“Does anyone actually care?” says Lacey.
Drew thinks.
“I do.” says Drew.
“Do you really!?!?” says Lacey.
The song ends.
“Yes.” says Drew.
Kid A by Radiohead begins with its creepy sound. It’s perfect according to Drew.
“Is he in love with you?” she asks Lacey.
“Yes. …But…it’s very unlikely anything will happen. …But yes.” says Lacey.
“That must be weird. Feeling so…unloved and…uncool…and then knowing PUTIN wants you.” says Drew.
“It’s awe-inspiring. I’m…in awe.” says Lacey.
The song plays.
“From a literary perspective!?!” says Drew.
“YES!!!” says Lacey. “I mean…wow!”
“Yeah!” says Drew.
“And then I think: ‘Am I the one living this!?! REALLY!? I’m not watching this in a movie!? WOW! …This almost feels wrong.” says Lacey.
“Why wrong?” says Drew.
The song ends.
“Because…it’s…sick.” says Lacey. “There’s something sick about it.” says Lacey.
Every Day Is Exactly The Same by Nine Inch Nails plays.
“How is it sick!?” says Drew.
Lacey is annoyed. It’s seems obvious to her. And now Drew seems shallow. It’s disappointing.
“I get it.” says Jeffrey Sachs.
“Do you really?” says Lacey.
He nods.
“You’re not a model.
You’re not a White House intern.
You’re…a housewife. In Minnesota. With oil. But still…you know what I mean.” he says.
Lacey thinks. “It’s all wrong.”
He nods emphatically.
“Actually…to be honest…I can see myself meeting him. In person. I’m that smart. And if I had tried harder in high school I could have gone to an Ivy League school. On my own merits. …But…that didn’t happen. …It’s baffling.” says Lacey.
“Why?” he says. “Try to articulate it.”
She thinks.
“Because…I’m not there.” she says. “It’s sick.”
He laughs. “Keep trying!”
“Okay.
So…people sign up for things in life.” she says.
“I agree! Oh, I agree!” he says.
“Yeah.
You go to college and get your PhD…you expect a good job. Or…something…satisfying. Because that’s what you signed up for.
I never signed up for this.
*Putin laughs*
I signed up for…something else. And…while I…have feelings for him…it’s shocking to me…that we know each other. Considering.
And it’s sick…because it’s not just about what we deserve. …If he’s unhappy at all…I think it’s sad. Because he deserves love. He’s a rare breed. A man of his stature who’s capable of real romantic love. He’s…epic.
There are very few people in all of human history quite like him.
But…you see…it’s not about what we deserve.
Skrting On The Surface by The Smile plays.
It’s about…what’s right.
And I…am certain capable of being in awe of him. In love with him even. And I can’t feel that way about everyone. But…is it what’s right?
It’s…almost…too perfect.
And…it feels manufactured.
And…if we aren’t supposed to spend eternity together…I fear we’ve made Purgatory more awkward for both of us. I don’t want to hurt his…rib. And I know he feels the same. He’s a very deep man.” says Lacey. “He thinks…a lot…about everything. Absolutely everything.”
Jeffrey nods.
“Okay. I try to be that intellectual. But…you’re right. To genuinely be that deep is rare.” says Tucker Carlson.
“Yeah. I trusted you for a reason.” says Tsar Putin.
Silence.
“But what if we think alike!?!” says Jeffrey Sachs. “Were you ever going to be okay…doing…what you signed up to do?”
The song ends.
Two Weeks by Grizzly Bear plays.
“No!!” yells Lem. “It’s like a…perverse attack on me. Personally. Think of my famous commentary. It’s like…a perverse joke.”
“I didn’t sign up for this though.” says Lacey.
“And I like that.” says Putin.
2:20
“Is he Hitler?” asks Jeffrey Sachs of Lacey.
She thinks.
“NO! Hitler was mad.” says Lacey. “He was brilliant. Nice. But…insane.”
“That’s true.” says Hitler.
The song ends.
Black Out Days by Phantogram plays.
“I…was…intended to meet her. But I died. And it really is possible…JFK SACRIFICED ME.” says Michael Rockefeller.
The song plays.
“Look…NONE of this would be happening if he hadn’t killed me.” says Michael.
The song plays.
“So…he actually did sacrifice you?” says an Illuminati witch.
“YES!!” yells Micheal.
The song plays.
“I was…handsome…blond…German…and I had the last name Rockefeller. …And he was incredibly jealous of me.
*silence for emphasis*
We were both bisexual.
*more silence for emphasis*
He was JEALOUS.” says Michael.
Gnossienne No. 4 by Satie plays.
“Michael…to be clear…you’re implying that JFK knew you were attracted to men?” says the psychic. “HOW!?”
Michael smirks. “It was obvious to him.
…He was a very evil man.
He KNEW Lem was straight. At least somewhat. …Historians don’t understand him. At all. He’s evil. And they’ve NEVER been honest about that.
He read me. My…nonverbals. My dress. My mannerisms. He just knew. Maybe…I reminded him of HIMSELF.
And…that’s not okay! Not to Jack Kennedy! Oh no! …Look…my family is old money. Old enough. And…my father was never going to control me the way his father did. …And he knew that. …I could marry anyone! In a sense. …Still have my fortune. …And I think he deeply resented that.
He felt…very threatened by us.
I was considered…lovable…to my father. …My father loved me unconditionally. …I was expected to marry a woman…however…there was no way they’d have cared one iota if I got into a long term relationship with a man. Lived in Paris. Lived well. To them…I was always going to be their son. They’re innocent…lovable…son.
I felt…free.
And I was.
Maybe too much.
And I know Jack HATED that. …Absolutely HATED IT.
So…he lashed out in person first. Made a complete ass of himself. …And then he…sacrificed me. Yes. He chose me.” says Michael.
String Quartet No. 2 “Company” by Philip Glass plays.
“Michael…what was the sacrifice supposed to do!?” begs a reader.
He thinks. “Success.
It was supposed to make him very successful.
He was supposed to be an incredibly successful U.S. President. …Lots of people were supposed to worship him. Praise him. Adore him. …My father was his rival. Right? And…I think that was part of it too. Something territorial.” says Michael.
“LET ME WARN YOU!!!
THIS IS REAL!!!!” yells John McCain. “If there’s an Illuminati…it’s LITERALLY THE EXACT THING THAT HAPPENED. …Otherwise it’s somewhat true.” He laughs. “But it’s REAL. So if there’s an Illuminati…BE WARNED. STOP lying to yourself!”
Moreaux by Tchaikovsky plays.
“Yeah.
So.
He…murdered me. Before he killed Marilyn. He murdered me. And then faked empathy.” says Michael.
“He did!!!” says Cory. “THIS IS REAL IF THERE IS AN ILLUMINATI!”
“So…he killed you…in cold blood.” says the CIA.
“YES.” says Nelson Rockefeller. “HE DID!!”
“Crap.” says the CIA.
“Lem.
Did you know about that?” says the CIA.
“No.” says Lem. “I was angry about Cuba. And…maybe I felt raped. Far more than I consciously understood.”
5:18
“He truly faked being gay.” says J. Edgar Hoover.
“Accidentally.” says a bisexual.
“Correct.” says Mr. Hoover.
The song ends.
Gnossiennes No. 1 by Satie plays.
“But that had nothing to do with me.
He hated me because I represented to him the life he wanted to live but couldn’t because his family wasn’t old money. …They were insecure and Irish. …I represented…all of his insecurities. And he…was…mad.
Maybe he wished to marry Lem. But I doubt it. I think…he wanted to take his money…and party. Forever. With mostly men. Maybe with Lem in particular. But…I doubt it. I think…he wanted…a plethora of men to choose from. Just like women. And he felt no such freedom. He felt…incredibly shamed by his family. Especially his father. But certainly everyone. …They accepted Lem beyL was a safe gay. …He wasn’t really gay. …And they knew that, intuitively. …But if Jack had brought home an actual faggot…*Micheal laughs* EVERYONE would have been up in arms. The lot of them! Absolute chaos! …Rose might have threatened to kill herself. Sincerely.
Lem was posh. And old money. But he was still safe. I…was…their worst nightmare.
But Jack would never have brought anyone like me home. …I wanted love. Real love. And he was never going to offer that. To anyone. Lem…chose not to care. Jackie was…painfully naive and insecure and had low self-esteem. …But I wanted love.
If Jack had brought me home…his family would have…lost it.
We Move Lightly by Dustin Ohalloran plays.
Can you imagine? Rose’s face!? She’d have…practically fainted. No exaggeration.
…I…wanted a wife too though. A real woman. Feminine. Mine. I was bisexual.” says Michael.
“Was he a pervert?” asks the Illuminati psychic.
Micheal thinks.
The song ends.
Silence.
Michael smirks.
A few minutes later.
Clair De Lune plays.
“I’m sorry.” says Michael to Lacey. “I’m going to respect God. But…I’m not going to keep letting them hurt you. It’s disgusting.”
Putin yells in the afterlife. In rage. “DAMMIT!!!” he yells with a slight German accent. “DAMMIT!!!”
Michael smirks. “He’s a very handsome man. The west is BLIND.”
The song plays.
“They’ve missed so much!” he says.
And if he’s the Earl…he lays on his back…on a lawn…and smokes. Staring up at the sky. As it was. In the late 1800’s. Hearing Debussy when he closes his eyes.
Jan smiles. “I want to be Michael Rockefeller when I grow up.” he says.
The song ends.
Keen to Cross the Pond 