Demon Dansah!

Did Ex Nihilo mean to mock Lacey? Maybe not? But Lacey finds it suspicious.

Lacey: It’s irritating how off you are.

I’d actually like to be insulted!

But it makes no sense!

The orange ice cream thing? Or orange soda? Like…what!?

Ex Nihilo (?): Umm…I feel like this becoming a joke.

Lacey: Can you psychologically handle that!?

Ex Nihilo (?): We seem mentally unstable?

The CIA: Yeah! You all do.

Ex Nihilo (?):

The CIA: Are you trying to go after sex predators in the Illuminati…by attacking her sex life? Because that’s what you did. If that perfume was about her.

Ex Nihilo (?): Yes.

We assumed she was a heartless, ugly freak.

The CIA: That’s INSANE!!!

Ex Nihilo (?): Her eyes look so evil! As a child!!

The CIA: No. You’re being a sociopath. They’re the opposite!! The TOTAL opposite. And you see that, and we see that, and then you “cry wolf” and say the opposite. Because you’re a loser who feels that desperate.

Ex Nihilo (?): True.

I’m just giving you a taste of your own medicine.

The CIA: Not really.

Ex Nihilo (?): Okay.

No, I can’t handle it.

Lacey: Yeah…

So…why can’t you find a way to actually be insulting?

Ex Nihilo (?): Help!

Lacey: Okay.

Ex Nihilo (?): OH CRAP! She’s going to help us insult her.

*later*

Lacey: How about, “Hey, Lacey! Got any dead men and rotten bottles of perfume? I’m planning for Halloween!”

A hater of Lacey’s in the perfume community: GOOD ONE! *they laugh at her*

Another hater in the perfume community: Wait! Are you being sarcastic?

A hater of Lacey’s in the perfume community: YES! DUH!

She’s such an idiot. SUCH a good target!

Ex Nihilo (?): That’s…spot on. Admittedly.

…I was going for something…that makes you seem weak. And peasant-like.

The Illuminati: Some people have such humility, like her, that they don’t get aggravated or insulted that way.

Ex Nihilo (?): Then how can I hurt her?

Lacey: The only way to hurt me, at this point, is to use physical force. And then I die, if you go too far. I have been through so much, my anger- I’m in survival mode.

I may get slightly hurt? But…not easily.

Ex Nihilo (?): You’re a hard person?

Lacey: I’ve been living in Hell, and I’m VERY tough. Maybe I’m hard? But not really. More just…over it.

Ex Nihilo (?): You sound like an upper class New Yorker.

Lacey: There’s NOTHING I can do about that! What do you think this is!?

Ex Nihilo (?): How do we irritate you?

Lacey: Keep doing what you’re doing. Keep making idiotic perfumes, that waste your time and money, and deeply insult my intelligence.

Ex Nihilo (?): It’s my time and money.

Lacey: YUCK! Why do you do that!?

*later*

Ex Nihilo (?): Invent an insulting not just irritating perfume!

Lacey: Apple. Paper. Sweat. Call it, “Ambitious”.

Ex Nihilo (?): I’ve been trying to ignore everything you say, that matters, so I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just trying to seem like I’m too important, in comparison to you, to care…but…-

Lacey: I used to do canvasing for politicians. And I wore DKNY Be Delicious.

Ex Nihilo (?): So what!?

Lacey: Are you feeling narcissistically insulted?

Ex Nihilo (?): YES.

Lacey: It’s your funeral. *she laughs* You shouldn’t try to take someone down if you refuse to even accept who they are because you’re so massively insecure?

Ex Nihilo (?):

*long pause*

*Intentionally no response.*

Dimitry: OH COME ON!

I want to hear the story.

It’s going to drive me nuts.

Ex Nihilo (?): *cries*

Lacey: It’s all there.

Apple, a reference to Be Delicious. Paper, a reference to ballots and fliers and other documents related to elections. And sweat, a reference to how hot I got walking around, door to door, talking to people.

The joke is that I’m a hot, sweaty mess. Soaked in Be Delicious. But, I’m so ambitious I wear it…and smell stupid. It’s a joke about my decision to try to be a politician.

I’m WAY too feminine. But I love politics and war fascinates me.

And I made a fool of myself, but I did learn something.

A perfume community hater: So men actually hit on you when you were trying to convince them to vote for your candidate?

Lacey: YES!

It was very eye-opening.

They were mildly concerned about the candidate, but then they’d automatically get flirty. And not just flirty, aggressive. …It was actually quite scary-

Ex Nihilo (?): You know I’m not that sexy!

Why keep talking!?

Lacey: Because it’s not ALWAYS ABOUT YOU!! DUMBASS!

Ex Nihilo (?): I’m starting to lose interest.

Lacey: Yeah, whatever.

And you still don’t know what even happened!

The men were coming on to me! …And they were polite, but they were very…aggressive. It was scary.

Ex Nihilo (?): Great! Now she’s a feminist!?

Lacey: AHH…THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED!!

It’s not bragging, nor “feminism”. I’m TELLING YOU WHAT HAPPENED!

Ex Nihilo (?): But you’re saying it in this faux feminine way.

Lem: NO!!!! BIG MISTAKE!!! THAT’S REAL!!!

Ex Nihilo (?): So you like poodles?

Lem: *thinks*

No.

She’s not really a poodle.

Is Goldie Hawn a poodle?

Ex Nihilo (?): This isn’t funny.

Lacey: Why? I feel like…demon dancer…is off. But…I’m not not a dancer…? …You know?

Ex Nihilo (?): So she’s ditzy. Not dumb.

Ahh…okay. But that’s the problem.

I don’t want that. Demon Dancer is about a black man. I can’t handle that she’s not a man. Because I’m a fucking retard. And I have serious sexual insecurities. Sexy women are like Hell to me. Because I’m so fucking shitty compared to them.

They beat me. Every time.

Dimitry: You sound like a gay incel.

Ex Nihilo (?):

Dimitry: So you created Demon Dancer to mock her? But you screwed it up…because you’re mad your boyfriend prefers her?

Ex Nihilo (?): I can’t believe Lem isn’t homosexual! AT ALL!? *he cries*

I’m sorry! I loved that movie!

Casi: It was a book.

Ex Nihilo (?): Wasn’t it a movie!?

Casi: You would think. No.

Ex Nihilo (?): Wasn’t it a Netflix special?

Casi: No! You’re thinking of the JFK Jr. series.

Ex Nihilo (?): I’m not THIS DUMB!

*he throws a plate on the floor*

I’m NOT this DUMB!!

Dimitry: Why don’t you use the idea she gave you. You were so excited about that.

Ex Nihilo (?): I want SEX.

Dimitry: What!?

Ex Nihilo (?): I just want to be sexual.

Dimitry: ???

Ex Nihilo (?): GIVE ME A SEXUAL INSULT! PLEASE!

Lacey: *thinks*

Lem: There isn’t one. It’s like sexually insulting Elizabeth Taylor.

Ex Nihilo (?): SLUT!

Lem: No.

Ex Nihilo (?): So…I’m just weird.

Umm…

GIVE ME SOMETHING-

God: Did niche perfumers need to get rid of Lacey? To make more money? And they started using people to attack her, viciously?

Ex Nihilo (?): No.

But…we loved the idea of using antagonism towards her to make a profit.

Lacey: I’ve never understood why you didn’t use me?

Ex Nihilo (?): You aren’t our aesthetic. Even if we’ve actually copied your aesthetic.

Lacey: How?

Ex Nihilo (?): You don’t do the…stuff.

You’re too…authentic. And raw. And unpolished.

Lacey: YEAH!

So how am I a liar?

Ex Nihilo (?): We made that up.

I think people knew…the truth…but…didn’t like the idea.

Lacey: Why not use me?

Ex Nihilo (?): You didn’t seem interested.

Lacey: How does one seem interested?

Ex Nihilo (?): You didn’t seem polished enough. And you didn’t seem poor enough.

To be blunt.

Lacey: So you wanted a…very edited…professional sort of approach…combined with a need and desire for free perfume?

Ex Nihilo (?): Yes.

Lacey: That’s what I thought.

The thing is…you needed to use me. Or something like this was going to happen.

Ex Nihilo (?): I think we sacrificed you…to make a quick buck. But long-term…I have a bad feeling about it.

Lacey: Yeah.

I feel SO bad for people collecting ALL that perfume. Thousands and thousands and thousands of Dollars.

It’s a waste.

Ex Nihilo (?): But that’s their decision.

*he smiles*

It’s fine.

Lacey: Do you see niche lasting longer than five years?

Ex Nihilo: YES!

Lacey: HOW!?

Ex Nihilo: We have WEALTH and refinement in the community. People have told me so.

The CIA: Lacey did that. And you plagiarize her. But that’s her TEN YEARS AGO.

What will you look like FIVE YEARS FROM NOW?

Ex Nihilo (?): I’m not worried!

A reader: Are you antagonizing the demonic?

Ex Nihilo (?): *they laugh*

It’s tongue in cheek. Admittedly.

We have a sense of humor. And we’re good Liberals.

A reader: Who’s the Liberal deity? Other than us?

Ex Nihilo (?): No one.

A reader: Then who saves you? If you screw-up?

Ex Nihilo (?): It’s a perfume about how JFK tried to steal Lacey’s soul.

Lem: No. It’s not.

I like orange. HE wouldn’t have worn that. For any reason.

Ex Nihilo (?): DOESN’T HE BECOME HER?

God: That’s metaphysically impossible.

Ex Nihilo (?): YEAH! HE BECAME HER!!

God: I repeat. That’s not metaphysically POSSIBLE.

Ex Nihilo (?):

A reader: DUDE! Why did you decide to mock the demons in the Illuminati?

For HAVING SEX!

*hours later*

Lacey: I’m mad, but I’m not trying to be rude, when I say this: You need to figure out what you’re really mad at me about, and then express that. Or experience that.

I can’t tell what’s making you angry. I’m sorry.

Don’t harass me. Don’t attack me. Don’t come at me with your rage. Even though I do care. I can’t fix everything for everyone well enough…to make people in the perfume community happy.