An Intellectual Tries

Laura does more channeling.

Laura: Lacey, there are a lot of people who don’t understand that your father loved you and that your mother would never have slept with sometime Saudi billionaire whose uncle was the rKing of Saudi Arabia. There’s a homeless guy on TikTok who sounds like you who was abandoned by his living father, to be homeless.

They don’t understand that your father was in a much higher class than him even though he’s a big deal in Saudi Arabia. Because they don’t understand that it’s not racist to see Saudi Arabia as an inferior country to the United States of America. And they don’t understand that a man like your father who was like a Duke is a bigger deal than a King of a country that’s so inferior. And your father was a Duke at a time when the United States was a much more powerful and exclusive country.

And no, your dad would never have done to you with that man to his son. Your father was old. And he stayed up giving you bottles and putting you to sleep for at least two months before he could find a place for you to live. He actually didn’t abandon you. He was desperately searching for a way to raise you for two months. Possibly talking to family members, possibly not, possibly looking for any opportunity he could find. 

When Karrie died at birth, Tom say an opportunity for Lacey to be raised as though she was born to somebody else and have a normal life.  This actually happened. 

This was common practice in some hospitals in the 1950s, believe it or not.  When there was an unwanted child and they had a stillbirth or a dying newborn, rather, they would replace the baby who was dead with the unwanted child. 

Tom thought that Jim and Becca were great parents and he wanted Lacey to be happy. And he just assumed that Becca would raise Lacey like she was her own and never be the wiser.

But he did not anticipate how attached he would become to his own daughter and how much it would break his heart when she was taken to Jim and Becca’s. It totally destroyed him. He was dead within about two years. And only Thelma knew and Margy and maybe a few other trusted people. But he couldn’t handle it and he started physically deteriorating.

Tom: I am like Lacey. When her son was born, she did not have the initial ecstatic reaction that some women have. But she held that baby for hours after having a very difficult birth and losing blood a lot more than she should have and she didn’t complain at all. She held him in a perfect position for hours and didn’t complain.

I did the exact same thing for her.

And it took her about three months to realize that she loved her children profoundly. Because she just didn’t have that initial emotional reaction that a lot of Americans have nowadays. Or have had.

I didn’t either.

I took time to understand how I was feeling. It took me a good six months before I realized that I was genuinely devastated. I knew that she was my little girl, but I’m like her and I just didn’t process that I was really sad for a while

If I’d had a wife who was excited, however, I would’ve realized right away. Her husband and her are not close enough either. So she didn’t have that either. We’re very similar in our personalities and I was very wounded by my mother‘s death when I was still a kid. I think losing me was very hard on her because I’m her dad.

And I think that people have to stop thinking that she’s talking into her phone as herself when she’s writing as a character. There’s a woman who was just giggling outside of her house somewhere and I’m tired of it.

No, I am not a man who would’ve let someone else raise my my child. Except I did because I was old and I was in a jam. She’s wondered if she had siblings? She did not.

I’m sorry that was hard to say but no, she does not have a brother.

Someone told her that I had a little boy in the 30s and that she had a brother. No she doesn’t.

That was really hard to have to tell her because I think she was excited. 

But no, there’s not a man wondering around Hotel Congress wearing Penhaligon’s. 

Lacey: *laughs*

Tom: I think someone was going to try to insult Lacey by insinuating that her mother was crazy or that I didn’t love her or something? Margy was not crazy. Margy was a woman who I was in love with.

I loved her mother very, very dearly. I’ve not said that because men aren’t supposed to say such things, but I actually did love her mother very much. 

Jim: Huh.

Tom: Margy was my favorite girlfriend, other than Thelma. I loved Thelma…but…I didn’t want to be with her, at times. Because we didn’t always get always get along.

Margy was so young and fresh and beautiful. She was an adult. But she was young and beautiful.

…*he laughs*

Actually, Margy did abandon me. …It looks like the opposite, because I’m the old rich man. With a mistress. But…she actually abandoned me.

And I was left with a newborn daughter. Thankfully Thelma was there for us. Margy was also there. But it was me who gave Lacey…parenting. It seems.

Jim: Didn’t Margy love Lacey?

Tom: I can’t answer that. It makes me too angry, I’m sorry.

Now, what was this about social class?

A woman reading her blog: *looks mad*

I was going to try to make an argument about how what’s NOW matters more than the past. Essentially. But it’s too flawed.

Lacey, do you see what I mean? At all?

Tom: Yes!

What about the trajectory of someone’s life?

A woman reading her blog: *thinks*

Okay. I’m game.

Tom: So!

They are worth $5 million.

They live in a house worth $600,000.00.

She’s not a college graduate, but almost.

Her husband graduated from a Little Ivy. With honors.

They both have unusually high IQ’s.

What else do you need to know?

A woman reading this blog: *thinks*

That’s a rich person.

Tom: What’s a “rich person”?

Jim: *rolls his eyes*

Lacey has a perfectly fine understanding of class. People just can’t handle it!

A woman reading this blog: But then how do you account for the changing climate? Culturally and socially? Over the last two centuries?

Jim: It’s actually not that simple.

Let me explain.

We have changed. At the same time, perceptions of change can vastly outweigh the reality of the change. So, in our minds we think things are totally different, but in reality they are not.

How much have things actually changed? Since 1800’s Europe?

Only marginally.

*he shrugs*

And that’s your problem. You want the change to really be big, but it’s not.

People now, as opposed to before, can buy a house, incrementally. But…most people have a mortgage. And they are dependent on the state for protection. They’re not Lords. Willing to form an army. Threatening the heads of kings.

They may feel like Lords. With their $700,000.00 homes. But they don’t have my oil. They don’t own coal. They have no power. Just a mortgage on a huge house.

Think about it.

Lacey’s understanding of class is GOOD.

Casi: Okay!

Then what’s someone like me supposed to do?

Jim: *nods in understanding*

*thinks*

I’m not…sure…what you mean.

Casi: I mean…-

How can I be as good as your daughter?

Jim: *he thinks*

The only way would be to turn into Nefertiti overnight.

How are you going to do that?

Casi: That cannot be true!

Jim: *he laughs*

Have you ever seen someone turn into Nefertiti overnight? Because I sure haven’t.

You’re reaching, even competing with her. What made you think that was possible? She’s MUCH prettier than you, even in bad photos. And their apartment in Saint Paul was luxurious.

What’s wrong with you!?

Casi: *gets mad*

*looks confused*

Alisha: She’s in my class?

Jim: What class are you in?

Alisha: I’m upper middle class.

Jim: *nods*

No, unfortunately, I’m not so sure about that anymore. She’s got more money than you think.

Don’t sue us, okay? I’m too old. I’m getting ready to leave for Heaven.

Can you just find something else to do?

*he rolls his eyes*

A woman reading this blog: So…Lacey how would you organize the class system?

Lacey: *thinks*

Hmm…I like this thought…-

Answer this first:

It’s 1985. Elliott Roosevelt is sitting in a chair outside, in a garage. Late at night. Drinking a beer.

They’re listening to the radio.

A bunch of men his age.

Most from the local VFW.

I’m his wife.

We own a $450,000.00 house. In 1985.

It’s a nice house.

But…we only have that and $500,000.00. To last until we’re dead.

He’s dying in 1996. I’m dying in 1998.

What class are we in? According to you?

A woman reading her blog: *thinks*

Elliott: We have to be frugal. In this scenario I sell less books.

In this scenario I’m taken seriously as an author, however. Very seriously.

A woman reading her blog: DAMMIT.

This is a good question.

Jim: *nods*

They’re rich, but not that rich. But his father is FDR. And they’re the Roosevelt’s.

A woman reading this blog: I give-up.

But I don’t like her- I don’t like her- I don’t think she’s right.

Lacey: Okay!

So…-

I think…I have to be honest. There is no way out. Class exists.

That being said…I think there used to be A LOT of room for social mobility, in the last century. In America.

What happened…is heartbreaking.

I don’t know if I should say it or not.

I think I will. But don’t quote me on it.

…The Kennedys ruined it.

*she shrugs*

Men like Lem, from old money families, who had…reason to be accepting of the Kennedys…would have accepted the McMahons too. But let’s say the McMahons were an honest Irish Catholic family. Maybe even bootleggers. But…more like…decent, faithful Irish men. Who wept over their wives, with passionate love. Not unfaithful cads, with no heart.

And let’s say…the McMahons…took forever to be accepted into upper class circles. Even though they too went to Harvard.

Even though they were elected to Congress. From the state of Massachusetts.

Ran unsuccessfully for U.S. President.

Almost prevented World War II.

…Almost competed the Olympics. As…diving stars. In the 1970’s.

And by the 1990’s…had mostly retired to a calm…quiet…frugal life. Still very rich. But not like before.

There’d be no Jackie Kennedy. No JFK Jr.. However, by the early 2010’s…they’d actually be considered old money. For real. …Not just begrudgingly so. By old school standards.

And, of course, there’s no “McMahon curse”. They die at a normal rate.

That’s what was needed. A slow, boring, tedious and yet effective process of real change.

If the McMahons had been the Kennedys…they’d have paved the way.

And…there’d be enormous social progress. And a much more stable economy and country.

Harsh. But I think it’s true.

A woman reading this blog: *thinking*

But it’s the same!

Lacey: It is…and yet…there’s progress where there is none now.

*people thinking*

PBS: Does Ken Burns do an episode on them?

Lacey: Yes.

He highlights their humility.

They seem…noble.

PBS: The crushing defeat in 1960. The excitement of the Olympic Games. And then the fact that they’re still involved in shaping the country.

Where do they live?

Where’s the McMahon compound?

Lacey: *thinks*

Brookline. In a huge house.

And Palm Springs, California.

They make their money in somewhat similar ways.

*they think*

PBS: What replaces Jackie Kennedy?

Lacey: Nothing.

PBS: *thinks*

No Camelot?

Lacey: No!

No Lem either.

Just…-

Well…maybe there’s a closeted but still sane JFK. Who lives in Los Angeles. And avoids politics.

PBS: What does he do?

Lacey: Richard McMahon, called Dick McMahon? He’s a Hollywood agent.

PBS: Does he have any success?

Lacey: YES! Until the 1970’s. He’s not great with the Sexual Revolution. Because he stays in the closet.

He has no wife, however.

PBS: What are their names? Introduce us.

Lacey: Fred McMahon. He’s the one who runs for President.

Let’s see.

Marsie: I thought this was America. I thought the Kennedys were the McMahons.

Lacey: There’s Archibald McMahon. He’s the patriarch. Archie McMahon.

He’s a brilliant man. Very steady. Slightly shy and reserved. But wise.

His wife is a bit overweight. Her name is Harriet. Harriet Brewster.

She’s from Ohio.

He’s from Massachusetts.

Their kids are Patrick, Albert, Frederick, Kathleen, Rosemary, John, Andrew and Ramona.

They are worth $3 billion by 1956, in today’s money. And $7 billion by 1975.

By 2000 they’re still worth $800,000,000.00.

Investing is their forte.

They also are known philanthropic.

An actor: Are any of these people still alive?

Lacey: Yes!

75 people.

The most noteworthy are researchers for the CDC. Very respected.

They’d be working on Ebola.

One has tried to run for congress a dozen times, in the state of New York. He’s eccentric. Very smart.

There’s a children’s book author. From the 1990’s. Frequently celebrated at Barnes & Nobles. They had a stint of real popularity.

They started losing elections in the 1960’s. And mostly gave-up by the 1990’s.

But they’re still SUPER rich.

PBS: Do we have a stable middle class?

Lacey: Actually, it’s fluctuating. But that’s okay. …”Billionaires” as we conceive of them, don’t exist at all.

There are some billionaires. But they’re very different people. Even if they’re the same people.

PBS: How is that okay though?

Lacey: Because it’s not scary to people. There’s tons of social mobility! TONS. And…it’s more just…dynamic…than truly unstable?

A reader: What does the social mobility actually look like?

Lacey: Lots of people truly becoming old money.

And it looks…like the silversmiths in the Nesheim family…in the early 1800’s.

There’s not as much competition. It’s more…preservation.

Lots of historic preservation. Lots of cultural preservation. The preservation of land. Preservation of the economy, in a way.

A reader: Are we a slower paced country?

Lacey: We’re more…thoughtful.

A reader: Would we find ourselves boring?

Lacey: *thinks*

No.

But I think the question is: Do we want to give-up Camelot? Jackie Kennedy? Etc..

Actually, possibly a lot of our culture.