Why Lacey is POOR

Alisha: Okay! So…that is a $10 million house, in some areas. Even $50.

But…it’s also not impressive.

Your dad knew the Roosevelt’s and controlled US elections. Behind the scenes.

He was worth $80 million. Fine. Cool. Whatever.

That’s not upper class.

*she thinks*

It’s just not.

Upper class is…being worth $1 billion. At least! And owning a home worth well over $50 million. At least. Like the Vanderbilts and the Rockefeller’s.

Micheal Rockefeller: What if she’d moved into my class by marrying me?

Alisha: No.

Because you weren’t rich enough anymore.

Micheal Rockefeller: So then there’s no old money?

Alisha: *thinks*

No, there is. But you have to keep the billions.

God: So no charities?

Alisha: NO. I’m not saying that. I’m saying they have to keep making billions more.

Jeff Bezos (?): It’s actually really hard to make a billion. And it often does involve some evil.

*he laughs*

Alisha: I’m not worried! Business is about ingenuity.

They’ll just have to try harder.

Jeff Bezos (?): So there’s no old money. At all.

Alisha: I’m not saying that!

Jeff Bezos (?): Alisha, it’s very hard to keep making billions and billions of dollars. In each generation.

And it almost always involves being incredibly oppressive to the poor, in some way. You’re expecting each generation to violently oppress the poor? Or they’re out?

Alisha: Yes! Duh!

I’m the voice of the poor.

Get over it!

Jeff: But how are you the “voice of the poor”? You’re saying that people will be kicked out of the upper class…if they don’t violently oppress the poor?

Alisha: You can take it that way. But that’s not what I’m saying!

If I sound stupid I’m just channeling Lacey. OKAY!? Okay. She’s so dumb. *she laughs at Lacey*

Jeff: Go on?

Alisha: Thank you.

Okay.

So…this is a peasant house.

Most Americans don’t know that, but I do.

God: Then what’s Casi Hart?

Alisha: *looks intellectually pained*

*stops and thinks*

She’s-

She’s just…-

She’s just…-

Well…-

She’s very poor.

God: If this is a peasant…the entire perfume community is peasants.

What’s the difference between a peasant and a person who’s as poor as Casi?

Alisha: She’s not really poor?

God: Why?

Alisha: …Because she’s…-

Well, because she’s…-

Because…-

She has…secret money.

God: Huh. Is it invisible?

Alisha: *panics*

*nods yes*

*Someone tries to kill Lacey who’s reading this, in a rage.*

God: Invisible money?

Alisha: Yes! It’s completely invisible.

You can’t account for it in any way. But that’s cool. Because it’s still REAL.

God: Wow! Can she buy things with it?

Alisha: I doubt it.

God: So it’s not good for sale?

Alisha: No. It’s just why we know what’s happening.

God: Ahh… And why Lacey is the liar? And the thief? And you’re all totally vindicated, innocent little lambs?

Alisha: Yes!

God: Let’s hear more about the imaginary money.