Listen to “Softcore” by The Neighborhood.
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: She’s demon possessed.
Right?
*she smiles*
A regular Democrat voter; a white upper middle class woman in her 40’s: *Thinks*
Lacey: You found a friend?
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: *She laughs*
Do you believe in Jesus? *She says seriously*
A regular Democrat voter; a white upper middle class woman in her 40’s: *Looks apprehensive*
*Tries to desperately read the situation*
A Born-Again Christian woman in her 60’s: I’m a Believer too.
*She laughs, joyfully*
So…-
Hi! I’m Suzanne.
*She laughs*
White Woman in her 40’s: I’m a Christian. Yeah!
A Born-Again Christian in her 60’s: I pray for Lacey. Every day.
*she laughs*
White woman in her 40’s: So do I.
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: I’m not…-
I’m not trying to preach.
White woman in her 40’s: So true!
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: So…-
I just wanted to say hi.
White woman in her 40’s: Great…
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: Do you Believe?
White woman in her 40’s: Yeah.
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: I’m feeling weirded-out.
*Looks very upset*
White woman in her 40’s: *Looks awkward, and nervous*
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: I’m not…awake.
Look…you’re…not…-
I’m Jewish.
White woman in her 40’s: Huh.
So you’re Norwegian?
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: I worship our Messiah.
White woman in her 40’s: I’m not Jewish. They’re just our neighbors.
*She grins*
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: So you hate that Lacey’s a Jew?
White woman in her 40’s: I’m not Jewish…either.
*she laughs awkwardly*
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: Okay.
Except she’s white.
White woman in her 40’s: Okay.
Well, goodbye.
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: Are you white?
White woman in her 40’s: YEAH!
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: I want sex…
White woman in her 40’s: I’m not aroused.
*She’s asleep too.*
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: NO WAY!!
*looks mad*
*looks hurt*
White woman in her 40’s: Stop.
A Born-Again Christian white woman: You’re mean…-
*she cries*
White woman in 40’s: OKAY!
*Looks mad*
A Born-Again Christian white woman: I feel…-
You’re a Christian?
White woman in 40’s: NO!!! GO AWAY!!!
A Born-Again Christian white woman: I’m tired.
And so…I sleep.
You just don’t get it. When the word of the Lord-
*she pauses*
Wait! OH! THIS IS A SEX DREAM.
*she seems relieved*
White Christian woman in 40’s: No! Sweetie, we ain’t having sex!
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: I am too having sex with you! YOU-
YOU-
White women in her 40’s: OH.
You’re a lesbian?
*she laughs*
A Born-Again Christian white woman in her 60’s: Yeah.
*she laughs*
No. I’m not. The Lord delivered me years ago.
I shouldn’t have watched that porn.
*she looks sad and guilty*
A white woman in her 40’s: I’m not trying-
I’m married.
A white woman in her 60’s: So am I.
Gee, I wonder if we could be friends?
A white woman in her 40’s: *starts singing*
A white woman in her 60’s: DON’T SING!!!
A white woman in her 40’s: *sings*
A white woman in her 60’s: Starts hopping around.
Lacey: Hi!
Both of the women: *stop and stare at her*
*look suddenly cold, heartless and possibly violent*
Lacey: You’re both…up to some…trouble.
Both of the women: *Smirk.*
Lacey: Well.
I’m not attracted to women.
Both of the women: *think*
*look offended*
Lacey: Why does that make you so angry?
Both of the women: *Think*
Because we’re more evolved. *one of them says*
Lacey: You both think that?
Both of the women: Yes.
Yes.
*they both say*
Lacey: How does Jesus feel about that?
Both of them: *Look angry and laugh at her*
Lacey: I didn’t know that homosexuality was a universally accepted concept in Christianity?
Both of them: *One laughs and the other looks angry*
Lacey: It’s not…
Both of them: *think*
Lacey: I have no demons. Just so you know. I’m just heterosexual.
Both of them: *think*
That’s why you dress for men! *Says the one in her 60’s*
Lacey: You can tell!?!
*stunned, they cut out*
A reader: They’re going to think this is a dream…
I’m so confused.
