In my opinion, the fragrance community is a tragedy.
Back in 2015 when I first started working to gain followers on Instagram, I was impressed with just how much comradery there was between everyone. Just how many people were there to be warm, friendly and supportive of each other.
But, over the years…I started to see something…very dark. Very sad.
People…weren’t happy.
Maybe it’s because behind the screen Daniel Rene is short. Just like Bobby Kennedy Junior. Another secretly self-loathing, non-het., narcissistic male entertainer. …Two jealous men, who have severe issues with attractive women who they feel secretly deeply inferior to. Two former half-dead opiate addicts.
Except Bobby is a loser who doesn’t have the freedom to be honest about his attraction to men. I’m sure he’d love to marry a man. But he can’t. Instead, the best he can do, is crush on Lem Billings. A tall, buff, older man who seemed in love with him. …He can never move on and develop an adult life in his sexual orientation, stuck forever as a stupid teenager. With a crush.
Whereas, Daniel…finally came out. Eventually. After years of being…closeted…he had the sense to finally be honest. Stop destroying himself. Because he’s not a backwards Kennedy. He’s not stuck in a position where he has no choice. He’s a former child model. He’s allowed to be himself.
And that’s the thing. The perfume community is and was LUCKY.
Where some people are starving, or like in Bobby’s case, trapped, these people are middle class, mostly. Private. And for decades now, extremely privileged.
No real public accountability. But loads of positive public attention.
They’ve been unbelievably spoiled.
But do they understand that or appreciate it? NO. No, the perfume community…is currently comprised of mostly ignorant, spoiled, First World individuals who lack any awareness of the real world outside their middle class privileged lives.
Why do I think this? Experience.
I wasn’t a show-off. But I had some inheritance from my father. …And I had and have a pleasant personal aesthetic. …And at first, people gave me credit, followed me, and even commented. And I had fun. …But…after a year or two of being…accepted and having a lot of fun…things went wrong. Horribly wrong. Because…people are SPOILED. …Most people in the perfume community, as it’s called, are SPOILED.
One of my biggest haters once accused me of being immature, vain, and BORED. …She was an incredibly immature, vain person in my opinion. I’ve never been called that by anyone who’s truly known me. …And I can’t help but think she was narcissistically admitting to her own actual faults. …But it’s that last one that gets me. …Bored.
Bored. I think she was admitting to being bored. …I think she was accidentally admitting to having attacked me out of deep, aching boredom.
And that’s just it. …If you have enough money to collect perfume and get noticed by the perfume community, and truly join the community, you’re not that poor. …Or at least, you prefer to think of yourself as rich, or comfortable. You prefer to live in a world in your head where you’re not…struggling. …And because of that…I can’t help but think…MOST of the community is like that. …Sheltered, spoiled, BORED people…who are just desperate for a hit. A hit of excitement. A thrill. Something to sink their teeth into.
Middle class people who are bored. First World people who are…desperate. Desperate for drama.
Doesn’t Daniel Rene strike you as an aging drama queen? Yes. That’s genuinely how he comes across to me. A man who craves attention and approval and…drama. Which is great for…TikTok. And he gets it; he gets attention and admirers. …But…if you aren’t like him, he doesn’t seem to truly empathize with you. …And I…have a strong suspicion…he’d create drama out of thin air just to keep from being ignored and being bored. And…so…if you’re like him, you’re fine…because you can play off his antics. But…if you’re not…and you’re like me…you’re toast.
…And that’s where the perfume community, the fragrance community, is tragic. Deeply tragic.
Why? Because…it had an opportunity. It had an opportunity to be something special. Years ago…when we were still dissecting vintages, joyfully. With no malice. When people were competitive but not…narcissistically so. …And it blew-it.
Perfume is soothing. It lowers cortisol levels. And it’s very accessible to all classes. But…instead of being loving…and wise…people got bored.
Yes, I became one of the most famous targets. In my opinion. Of the toxic level of evil in the perfume community. But…I’m SURE I’m not alone. I’m POSITIVE…that there are thousands of other people. People who had an interest in being a part of the community but didn’t or couldn’t, for ironically similar reasons to my own. They didn’t fit. They’re not drama queens. They’re not bored with their own lives or craving attention enough to be able to enjoy interacting with people who are entrenched in the community.
So, where the perfume community could have been a cool hang-out space for everyone, instead it became a place for toxic people who needed…a fix. People who wanted to look rich, or feel rich. People who want to be hated. People who want to both hated and loved. …But no one who’s truly looking for stable, mature, adult relationships, in my experience, free of any drama.
And…to me, that’s sad. …Because perfume is art. Perfume is beautiful. …The perfume community had such an opportunity. …But it became completely about drama and competition. Immature, sad, shallow nonsense.
And my heart aches for the children who don’t know that yet. The lonely, isolated little girls who look-up to people in the perfume community who sometimes are…heartless, horrible people, in my opinion. Vapid people who may not have one deep thought all day.
I’m sure when most of them think of me they search for any way to hate me they can find. Or they fantasize about how I’m a homosexual. (I’m not) Or they fantasize about how I’m lowly in some pathetic way. Some may even want to kill me and my friends and family. …In my life, they’ve been a cancer. …Even if at first they seemed so full of hope. …I genuinely regret the day I joined the perfume community, in almost every way, other than for how eye-opening it’s been to the vile nature of some factions of current living humanity.
Do I hate the perfume community? No. Do I find them deplorable? …Mostly, yes. From my experience they’re some of the most egotistical, idiotic, gullible and hateful people alive, when it comes to me. They’re disgusting, in regard to me. And until I get a sincere apology from them personally, I won’t be acknowledging them for the rest of eternity. And, that might take thousands of years, for them to come close to even mildly understanding, I suspect.
I will be buying perfume with extreme caution for the rest of my life. I’m truly that scared of these monsters, in my life.
No, it’s extremely unlikely they’ll ever apologize to me for what they’ve done. The real HORRIBLE impact they’ve had on just my life, nevermind how they’ve impacted others through me. …And…oh well. That’s how it goes. …Sometimes. *shrug*
But I’m sure Mita Von Ringlestad still will buy their newest creations. Smelling of ambroxan or something like it, as she smugly prances about with her LVMH title. In Trontheim Luggleswania. Those “it girl” pretentious, phony current day aristocrats are SO middle class. So bourgeois. It’s actually vile. It’s gross. Such weak, weird cucks. Bragging about eating children with some silly freak bitch from New Jersey who grew-up on food-stamps, named Jeffrey Epstein. Thinking they’re edgy for eating tortured babies from Yugoslavia…but not truly evil like the colonialists of the 1800’s! Ha! What a joke! What a joke they are. How profoundly depressing. …Brainwashed, plastic, cheap-as-shit cucks. Waiting for some fool to save them, or too dumb to understand the harm they cause. Too genuinely dumb to understand that they can’t shit where they eat forever without someday drowning in their own shit. When they die…their stupidity may make God more forgiving towards them.
No. I’m a proud colonialist, if there’s reincarnation. And a REAL aristocrat. Not like fools alive today, it seems. …Why proud? Because we had real reasons. …Do you understand what a reason is? A real reason? …We weren’t just weirdos looking for drama. We were trying to survive. And most brainwashed people today don’t understand that anymore. …And someday when they die and find out the profound atrocities that THEY are committing, being associated with who’s in charge today, I will LAUGH in their VAIN, ARROGANT, EGOTISTICAL, IGNORANT faces. …Organized societies are almost always evil, at some point. It’s basically impossible to be a part of any society in all of human history that hasn’t done something genuinely evil at some point. It’s how evil that matters. And believe it or not, the colonialists didn’t necessarily have the worst heart intent.
“How do you accuse others of being egotistical, when you’re sitting around claiming to be a reincarnated aristocrat!?” asks someone reading this.
*eye-roll*
You know…if you’re reading my blog and you can recall what I’ve written, you shouldn’t be asking that. I’m not a fool, I hope, and I actually wasn’t the one who came up with that idea. I didn’t invent it. …It was something I discovered through the help of others. …And it may not even be true. …I’m fully aware that it might not be true. Stop trying to make me seem evil. …But actually, what if it is true? It could be. …It really could be .
No, I could be a reincarnated Lady. Then what? Then you have to accept that I’m not worthless icky shit, even if you’re reading this from the perfume community and you’re too immature and vain to accept it. …So, then what? Well…you could stop reading this. Or…you could just…wait and see me in 2,000 years? When you’re less…insane? *I laugh*. …I don’t know.
Truly, I’m a better person than that. If I was as ordinary, fat and poor as Casi Hart…I’d be happier than her, possibly. And I’d certainly not attack someone like me. Because I’m not…evil-hearted. I’m sorry, but that’s the truth. …If I was her…I’d be…living in Montana. Skinnier. …And not desperately seeking attention, as she does, in my opinion. …Because she chooses to be evil, in my opinion. And thank God, I do not. And she should stop. Everyone in the perfume industry and community like her, should stop.
I’m not trying to be judgmental in saying all this, mind you. I’m just righteously angry. And because it’s real anger, it’s not going to go away. …Because it’s affected my whole life, and other people’s lives, it’s not going to go away. Even when I’m dead. …And because I’m not evil-hearted it’s going to be a problem for people who attacked me…until the deal with it. Like a forever chemical. And no conspiratorial posse will ever rid them of it. It’s never going away. And actually the best thing that could happen to these people, in my opinion, would be for them to forget about me…and find out later, when they’re dead, what they did. Because they don’t give one shit about me…possibly at all, and their fascination with me is purely evil. At least that’s what it seems like at this point, to me.
I think they did innocently admire my…aesthetics. At one point. But now…they’re disgusting. Foolish thieves, at best. In my experience. …There could be exceptions, but I’ve not seen many, that’s for sure.
But no, I don’t hate them. It’s not like that. …I’m just being correct and objective. And my experience is that they’re HORRIBLE people. Almost all of them. Absolutely AWFUL, gullible, IDIOTIC people. Deeply vain and…amazingly arrogant. They’d be absolutely heartless, not just heartless, if not for the fact that they seem too dumb to be that evil, in my opinion and experience.
So why don’t I hate them? Well…Mita Von Somethingoranother…goes skiing. Still. And…I’m sure she has to use good skincare. …And…she likes them…and…that’s makes me think less of them both, but…it also means they’re all human. Somehow it all adds up to that. And as a Christian, that’s automatically a pass for me. I hate evil. I don’t hate people.
…
Eric: What if Mita didn’t like them?
Lacey: I’d still see them as humans. But, it’s just easier to see, this way.
Eric: You know…they wanted to aggravate you. Especially Casi Hart, in my opinion. To create that drama. …And they’ve been stunned that you’re not actually…angrier?
Lacey: Come to find out, I don’t ever get angry in that way. …This is as angry as I can ever get.
Eric: So you have no interpersonal anger? In the way that they imagined.
Lacey: It’s not in my nature.
Eric: So…let’s say you actually are Lady Rosslyn. …Would you have used a sword to cut off someone’s head, in battle, if necessary?
Lacey: YES! Absolutely. I still feel like I should be able to sword fight, sometimes. Well. But I don’t.
Eric: *laughs*
So they can’t get that angry, interpersonally, and yet be that controlled and strategic. You’re constantly like that. But to them…that’s confusing. Actually, to some of them it even seems psychopathic. It’s not. But…they genuinely can’t do it.
What they do do…is get mad. Interpersonally. …Do you understand what I mean?
Lacey: Barely, if at all. …What is it you’re talking about?
Eric: Right, so…they feel really angry…at each other…about…offensive matters. Things that they do to affect each other.
It’s like the difference between Mozart’s Symphony No. 40 in G Minor, which is you, and the soundtrack to “Dances With Wolves”, which is them. It’s more face to face drama, for them. You’re not a psychopath, but you’re detached like Mozart.
Do you see what I mean?
Lacey: This is going to be…difficult to read. But oh well. Apparently it’s necessary?
…I was sexually abused as a child. …And I reacted to it by…becoming nauseated. Often. So often I got dehydrated and had to be hospitalized more than once.
…Whenever I think of the sort of emotional interaction you’re describing I start to feel nauseous again. …And hot. Like, I’m being baked in the backseat of car. …What in hell could possibly be remotely pleasant…at all…about that sort of interaction?
Eric: …And then your mind wanders off to Great Britain?
Lacey: Yes.
Eric: Yes, you were clearly reincarnated, in my opinion. And thank God, that was an at least sort of normal life.
Well, but it’s not like that for them. …They don’t suddenly feel like vomiting.
Lacey: What could they possibly be experiencing?
Eric: Imagine it had been Tom Banks, your daddy, who you interacted with. You would have said, “Casi, I feel like you’re mad at me. What’s going on?” WAY back in 2015. Instead of just ignoring her.
Lacey: Okay.
I’d have cared?
Eric: Yes. Because there would have been some reward for being in interaction with people. You would have been able to find some reason to not just completely ignore her.
Lacey: What would she have said?
Eric: She’d have had to be…rude. And come out and say something mean, publicly. Like, “I don’t like you.” Or, “Because you’re a huge dumbass.” Or, “Your pride and arrogance is too much for me. I’m a sensitive person. Sorry, loser! Bye!”
Lacey: And that’s why I don’t want to bother. It’s impossible to interact with people like that. They’re worthless to me.
Eric: Did she seem arrogant and prideful to you? You’re certainly a genuinely sensitive person. …I think she often narcissistically projected things on you.
Lacey: I guess?
Eric: You generally just didn’t care?
Lacey: I’m not a prideful person. Nor arrogant. …*shrug*
Eric: I know. So you just didn’t care?
Lacey: She’s…just another hateful, ambitious…pushy person. Dime a dozen.
Eric: Yes. Okay.
So you found her…colorful and amusing…but incredibly mundane?
Lacey: Yes. And mean. What’s the use in a mean person? They’re useless. Unless you need to find ways to torture prisoners, in a war, they’re useless.
Eric: Yes.
But see…most people alive today…enjoy…interacting in a very particular way. And they don’t have an intuitive grasp of how little interest you have and why. …So…she took your lack of interest as an insult, when really you just genuinely didn’t want that kind of attention, at all.
Lacey: …What’s the insult?
Eric: That you were so far above her you couldn’t care less about her.
Lacey: *laughs*
Why does anyone enjoy that kind of interaction?
Eric: Because it’s how they feel they’re creating a democracy, and an organized society. And it’s fun to them. …They have…fun. We have fun. And we form friendships that way.
Lacey: See, you’re actually being very heartless right now. …But I don’t hold that against you. …Why does everyone hold that kind of thing against me? Total double standard! Totally unfair!
Eric: Have you ever been told differently? In a kind way?
Lacey: No, of course not.
So, you…all…have fun.
Great.
You can’t expect me to instantly understand though. I don’t. …What’s fun about it? …You haven’t explained.
Eric: *”conjures” a dead British aristocrat*
Lord Loughborough: Sweetie, they’re being silly. You know what I mean by silly. …Like two kittens.
Lacey: I still don’t get what’s fun.
Lord Loughborough: You weren’t supposed to be reincarnated, now. This isn’t your bag, so to speak.
It’s…not like math, to them. I know that’s what keeps coming to mind for you. Math problems.
No. It’s more like…dancing.
Lacey: Exhausting.
Lord Loughborough: Well…yes. …But it can also be fun.
Lacey: *Lacey starts to understand*
Lord Loughborough: It’s alright dear. I understand.
If there’s reincarnation, Lacey’s former mother: *Starts to cry, seeing her husband and Lacey interact, as they were meant to.*
Lacey: So most of them enjoy that. Interesting.
I can’t enjoy it almost at all anymore.
Pat Wilson: You seem British. The way we used to be, anyhow.
Time.
Lacey: Yes.
Pat Wilson: It’s quick nowadays. All the dancing.
I loved it. I found it exciting!
Lacey: Why?
Pat Wilson: *thinking*
I was the one who shoved you off to go be with Lem, by the way. It made me too angry when I died.
*she laughs*
Well…-
*she thinks*
Americans like movement. …Not…like ballet. Not that dancing is a bad analogy.
They want to feel something. Always. …And because of that, they have a need to be…constantly in each other’s business. …You get it?
Lacey: Not like us?
Pat: *smiles*
NO! …You and I are…in Purgatory together. Settling our disputes, so to speak. We have…action between us…but-
*she thinks*
Where I shoved you off to go be with Lem…violently…perhaps…- *she laughs* It had deep meaning. And that’s why I did it. You understand.
*Lacey struggles not to cry.*
*Then so does Pat.*
*They both fight to control themselves.*
They don’t necessarily have such meaning. …You always assume they do, because you can’t imagine caring about anything as much as they seem to, unless if there’s something very valuable at stake…but they don’t. They just are that way. It’s their souls. …They find it fulfilling.
Lem was just as bored by it as you. …Which is why he was so into drugs, in his latter years. Well, one reason. …He couldn’t tolerate engaging with people like that anymore. At all.
It irritates me too, some.
I mean, just think. We’re so closely interconnected. You and me. …And yet we’re still so distant from each other. …And honestly…I prefer it that way too. …Because it’s not as if there’s no depth between us, but rather…it’s completely overwhelming.
No. They don’t fully experience that depth, the way we do. That’s my experience.
Honestly, when I wrote that letter to Joe’s mother, Rose…I meant to examine what I had assumed was an obvious fact. The way there was this…insurmountable mountain of emotion that was towering over us. I thought she could feel it too. Which is why I sound like you, in that letter. Because you feel such things too.
We’re not stupid people, Lacey. It’s real. They just don’t see it and feel it, like we do.
Rose wasn’t aware of it, however. None of them were. …And so she felt no need to comment in response. …And in that way, you and I are like Casi Hart. *she laughs and Lacey sort of joins her*
We have…expectations that we’re going to affect people. Like she assumed she was affecting you. Because we can’t imagine how they can’t feel some sort of way. *she laughs again* But no, they don’t. *she shrugs* …I felt hurt, as you have. Many times.
How often have you been hurt by that in life?
Lacey: Often. …I’ve just stopped expecting any kind of emotional response to a lot of things. Because people don’t seem to ever care or notice.
Pat: Yes!
Well, that’s how you accidentally made Casi Hart feel, I suspect. Even though she was trying to get a rise out of you, most of the time.
…I think she could never accept that you’re actually you.
She wasn’t born into the aristocracy like you. She’s not even quite like me. Should there be reincarnation.
…But it’s not merely vanity. I think she is Virginia, and I think you shocked her. Deeply.
“What the hell is she doing here!?”
…Regardless, you think more like me.
And anyway, you seemed totally…bizarre.
Lacey: *thinks*
Why…do they like that?!??
Pat: It’s just them. *she shrugs*
I did too, somewhat.
It’s…far more easy to be casual. That way.
Lacey: Why is that better????
Pat: It’s not. Necessarily. But they love it. …I somewhat enjoyed it.
Lacey: *thinks*
So I made Casi feel…inferior?
Pat: Yeah! Because you genuinely didn’t care.
Other people were just as angry as she was. …But on behalf of all of them, she kept trying. To affect you.
Lacey: What ugly, HIDEOUS monsters they are??? As people.
Pat: Well…yes. Actually. But they don’t know that. Because that’s not how they experienced it.
…They thought you were…rejecting them.
Lacey: No. I just don’t know them.
Not like that.
Pat: Yeah! And when you tried to “be their friend” they didn’t understand that…your attempt at closeness was- *she laughs* You misunderstood. You simply completely misunderstood!
Lacey: *thinks*
Well, I was trying to do what they do!
Pat: YES! Be “friends”.
No, it’s not that at all. They’re just…totally different.
It’s totally different, Lacey!
Lacey: *thinks*
So, they feel rejected?
Pat: You scare them. You have since you were a child!
Lacey: I genuinely don’t understand what this bullshit is! I’m sorry! It’s so gross to me!
Pat: *nods in complete understanding*
Yes!
It’s just their way!
It’s just their thing!
Does it make your head hurt?
Lacey: Yes! I feel like my eyes are going to break out of my sockets when I try to comprehend it. I’m not joking.
I just…can’t understand.
Pat: Your parents were supposed to help ingratiate you to this climate, socially. That didn’t happen.
What’s your favorite drink?
Lacey: Pat, what in hell does that even mean!?
Pat: Yes! They love that sort of conversation.
Well, you’re supposed to be…filled with enthusiasm. Because…you love the social dynamics of that conversation. And no, it’s not just competition. Nor…a history lesson. …To them, it’s…everything.
So, what’s your favorite drink?
Lacey: I cant!
*Feels nauseous.*
*Fights to control the nausea.*
Pat I can’t be bothered. I just don’t give a shit!
Pat: Try for me?
Lacey: *rolls her eyes*
*sips water out of her Stanley*
*thinks*
Water.
Pat: *thinks*
If I had met Joe…outside of war…you’d not hurt as much, Scotia.
Lacey: How dumb, Pat.
*Pat smiles*
It’s just stupidity.
Thank you for helping me.
Pat: He did love me. …He really did.
Lacey: Yes.
Was he capable of love?
Pat: *takes a deep breath*
Yes. With me, he was.
Lacey: Amazing!
But he was too messed-up to be faithful?
Pat: *laughs*
Lacey: Pat, does he even exist anymore?
Pat: In a way.
No, that hurt like Hell.
But…he was worth it. For me. …He wasn’t totally incapable of being intimate, like Jack. Kick wasn’t either, mostly. But Joe certainly wasn’t.
Lacey: Interesting.
Well, I hope you’re able to be happy.
Pat: Yes.
You had no business being with him, at all.
Lacey: Oh, I don’t know. It was interesting.
Pat: *laughs*
But…you could have found all of that information out. Through Christ. Without even knowing him. If you really wanted it. Where I am.
Lacey: *thinks*
All of it?
Pat: Yes!
Lacey: All of it!?!
Pat: YES!
It’s that bad!
Lacey: Well how was I supposed to know?!
Pat: I know!
*rubs her head*
I’m so sorry! You have been through a lot.
I was so overwhelmed by jealousy-
Lem: Well, at least you had the sense!
Lacey: Pat, it’s absolute nonsense!!!
Pat: *nods and cries*
Lem: Yes. But she can’t see that, like we can.
You shouldn’t have been so jealous!
Pat: *nods and cries*
You’d be surprised! Even if you know the truth…you’d still feel things. Or I did.
And part of it is that you’re so beautiful. You see?
Lem: Yes, but that’s no excuse! This conversation should have happened a while ago, Pat!
Lacey: I’m glad you do care about me some though.
Pat: *smiles in nationalistic righteous pride*
*later*
Pat: I didn’t know you’d be so…sporting about it? …Are you sure that’s healthy, Lacey? *she looks concerned*
Lacey: It can’t matter.
You know?
Pat: And in fact, you’re right.
But you’ve been shut down so much. By so many people. Are you sure you care so little!?
Lacey: *laughs*
YES!
I don’t give one shit!
Pat: Not anymore?
Lacey: He did something evil to me.
Pat: He was in love with you.
Lacey: What a joke.
Pat: And in fact, you’re completely right.
*she thinks*
Lacey: Do you still even want him? After all this nonsense?
Pat: Yes.
I…was meant for him. In a way.
We actually were soulmates.
Both of us very sincerely fancied each other.
Lacey: *smiles*
My beauty is of no consequence. Totally unrelated. Right?
Pat: Lady Thyne…yes. Except, he used it to hurt me.
Lacey: Interesting that you referred to that name. She is pretty!
Pat: As are you.
I think they favor beautiful women. Since way back.
Lacey: *thinks*
A woman from somewhere: Gosh, if there’s reincarnation, Scotia is sure big about it. But I think she wonders why we aren’t all so…appealing.
Lacey: Well, Pat, I’m sorry.
There’s not much I can do. Especially if I’m not supposed to have reincarnated. You know???
Pat: But Lacey, to them, your beauty…means A LOT.
A lot.
Do you find that unbelievable and unbearably stupid?
Lacey: I mean, it’s real. And it’s nice. Certainly. …But is it really all that?
Pat: To them, it is that important. Because of how they relate to each other. Because of how intensely personal it is.
*later*
Lacey: Pat, at this point, there’s nothing I can do!
Lem: Yeah. I know.
Did you ever understand that people genuinely think you’re frigid and upset and uptight. Because you don’t interact the way they do?
Lacey: I had some slight intuitive inkling.
Lem: Yeah, if you’d been far more obvious with your sexuality, and given part of it is generational, but still…if you’d been more obvious- They don’t see you. They just can’t imagine why anyone would act the way you do, and I did too, unless they’re…neutral. Asexual. Gay. …They don’t get it!
We seem…different. And instead of being able to understand they become scared.
Lacey: I’m very overwhelmed.
*later*
Eric: Did you have any idea what the bad news was when you started writing this?
Lacey: No! I had no idea. Not really.
Eric: Good grief!
I’m sorry.
For what it’s worth, you seem normal to me. But…I just think of you as “quiet”. And I also think of you as both Lady Rosslyn, and Kay “Lacey” Banks.
Lacey: What the hell am I supposed to even do!?
Eric: *laughs*
I agree.
*they think*
Lacey: So Casi felt rejected?
Lem: She did. They all did.
Do you even know at all how to relate to another human being in that way?
Lacey: No!
What are they even really talking about?!
Lem: So-
*he sighs*
I’m sorry-
*he whispers something in her ear*
*she smiles*
Anyway…what we call…love…is what they call…a pipe dream. But we know better, because we can be that way. So could Pat. So can loads of other people. Sadly, mostly, from the past.
And what they want…is…something…fun. Lots of…entertainment. …Yes, the perfume community is into drama. Obviously! But, it’s all about the entertainment aspect for most Americans.
Lacey: Go on.
Lem: It’s not actual closeness.
It’s…chit chat.
That’s the best way I can think to describe it. Not “light conversation”. No, rather, chit chat.
Lacey: When I stop to think about it, that’s the part of my brain…I can’t access. Because…it’s…gone.
Eric reading someone: This is why you don’t over-examine your enemies for the sake of your ego! *talking to the perfume community*
She’s not that weird! You people read WAY too much into EVERYTHING. Or you misread shit. ALL THE FUCKING TIME.
Lacey: I can’t do chit chat.
I just can’t.
Lem: So when you try to think of that, relationally, you literally can’t figure out what you’re supposed to even be saying?
Lacey: It’s all completely forced.
I have absolutely nothing to say in that way. At all.
Some energy named Casi (?): *panicking* “I love your dress!” Say something!
Lacey: *shrug*
I don’t give a fuck! Who the hell are you!?
God: She’s trying to be nice.
Lacey: Do I need to tell you go to fuck yourself!? I know she’s possibly trying to be nice.
God: I know. No.
I’m just saying that she’s trying to be nice.
Lacey: How is that even nice though, really? Why does her opinion carry that much weight!?
Lord Loughborough: We didn’t necessarily give compliments that way. In the 1860’s. I see your confusion, Lacey.
What exactly is she trying to say?
God: It’s a common way nowadays of trying to say that someone is wearing something that looks good on them. Which means that they’re looking good. Which is considered a very important accomplishment and very big deal.
Lord Loughborough: We didn’t think that way.
I’m so sorry, Lacey.
They really did over-analyze you, Lacey. With very little empathy or real understanding.
Lacey: So…I do want to know I look pleasing. But…otherwise, why do I care!? At all?
God: Because it matters to them. A lot.
They want to feel…like they’re doing things right. And meeting the standards.
Do you even know what the standards are, Lacey? Or did you get bullied so badly you missed them?
Lacey: Cleanliness? Modesty? Good taste?
God: No. Looking appealing.
Lacey: People actually care about that?
God: Yes, very much. That’s all some people are obsessed with, almost completely, nowadays.
Lacey: No, I didn’t fully understand that.
Is everyone retarded?
God: It looks medically mentally disabled to you?
Lacey: Almost. Yes.
God: Hold on.
*later*
Lacey: It looks like a bunch of apes. Not mentally disabled people. Apes. At best.
God: And actually, people in the 1800’s, and obviously Ancient Egypt, were a bit more than people may suspect, intelligence-wise.
Being so focused on appearance is not the most intelligent thing to be. But that’s where people are, in 2026.
Lacey: I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do. I can’t figure out how to relate to people.
The kind of interactions they’re looking for are only ones I’d have had with family. Or a spouse.
It’s so aggressive.
A man in the perfume community: Do you ever feel like people are actually relating to you? Forget you relating to us. Do you ever feel that people are truly relating to you?
Lem: She never does. …I rarely felt that way either.
A man in the perfume community: What does it feel like to you, Lacey?
Lacey: Like people are just talking to me, to be nice.
A man in the perfume community: So you don’t feel like you’re getting connection, almost ever. Shit.
A woman from the 1800’s: You’re not crazy.
Let’s go back and forth.
I see your post:
I say, “You were a stunning girl!”
Lacey: YES!
That’s exactly right.
Here’s my response, “Thank you.
I loved my viola.”
A woman from the 1800’s: I can’t figure out why you’re telling me you loved your viola. That’s so personal.
*she laughs*
I’ll ignore it.
I say, “Yes, nice to see a photo of you. Time passes so quickly. Enjoy what’s left, I guess!”
Lacey: “Gosh! Isn’t that right!? Good grief! I can hardly believe it. It’s shocking.
Good advice. Thanks.”
A woman from the 1800’s: “I submit it to you, joyfully, my friend.”
Lacey: “I do hope so. Thanks ever so much.”
A woman from the 1800’s: Yeah. You seem normal.
They don’t to me. But I know they are…in a way. It’s easier to understand here.
God: If you’re a Christian who’s theologically confused at this time, do not despair. Even if there is reincarnation, it wouldn’t alter the meaning of the Cross.
An energy named Casi: So, our reactions have always seemed strange to you?
Lacey: Yes.
A woman from the 1800’s: Everyone is too personal and yet not personal at all. It’s awful. If you’re not accustomed to it.
Keen to Cross the Pond 
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