L. – Page 150 – Keen to Cross the Pond

“November 22nd” by Lem

Today is legally Lacey’s birthday. She’s 41.

Lacey just tried to be loving to the Kennedys. They were…disrespectful. As in, actually disrespectful. The meaning of the word respect in the dictionary. Lacey had no ill-intent. But they…rejected her genuine help. Like the fucking evil Irish peasant scum stuck in poverty that they are. No! Not every rich person has good intentions!! OF COURSE! If you’re poor you can trust people. Fine! …But they’re adults. They’ve made complete assholes of themselves. And she was offering them actual love. Just because!

Why did they find it so offensive? Because they’re INSANE.

“Yeah. My family had to get involved in the mob.” says Louis Hill Junior.

“I knew. Elsie didn’t until she was older. He just didn’t tell her. …The Hill family was…in the thick of it. In Saint Paul. And…they got involved.” says Louis’s first wife.

“We did.” says Louis. “You know. …You know what happened!” he says to Lacey.

Putin smiles at Lacey, knowingly.

“I tried to tell them the truth.” says Lacey. “But they want to believe a myth.” she says about Caroline and the other Kennedy kids.

“What is the truth?” says a woman reading her blog.

“That people die. First and foremost that people die! …Everyone dies! …I’ll die, they’ll die! We all die! …It’s not that big of a deal! …And it’s not eternal! No! They’ll see their fathers again! THEY REALLY WILL!

So…why’d they have to die now? Right? Well…frankly…their whole family got involved in crime. …Yes. Crime. …They bought a US PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION! THEY BOUGHT AN ELECTION! …That‘s certainly illegal! …And I suspect there was other stuff they were secretly involved with too. …Criminals get shot! Okay!? CRIMINALS GET SHOT! It’s COMMON!

If their fathers loved them…then GOOD! But…some fathers aren’t able to be the fathers they should be. And they have a right to not only mourn them…but to also be angry at them someday. If their fathers are worth anything they can stand it!” says Lacey.

“She’s not stupid. She knew she was talking to their inner child…as the asshole adults they are today.” says Lem. “But she was still trying to reach out.”

“I think it’s good!” says Tsar Putin.

“It’s harsh. But…considering their situation…I thought it might help them move on.” says Lacey.

“What do you think about your father’s…life?” says Tsar Putin.

“Well…he was raised in wealth. …He didn’t have to do it! …But he chose to. …And I find that fascinating.” says Lacey.

Putin laughs.

Him and so that’s the problem. Sometimes I say things that are true so if his conspiracy theories could be true, but he, then he prefers that by being evil, so his followers hear actual truth from him at times, but then he’s the one saying it, and if he saying it with any sort of evil intent, it becomes perverse because you start to think is this man just full of it is he just crazy and it’s scary because then if you catch onto that then you end up trying to figure out if Bill Gates is Perryville very sincerely I mean it’s it’s really awful. There is a climate problem he uses that and it’s real.

“Yeah! Why did he think it made sense!?” says Lacey. “And then what do I…personally…think of it?”

“And I asked her what she personally thought of it.” says Putin.

“And I simply don’t know.” says Lacey.

“Yes.” says Lem.

“What do you think?” she asks Tsar Vladimir Putin.

He thinks.

“It’s an interesting thing!” says Lacey.

He nods and smiles if there’s reincarnation. Hands in pockets. Very much also an old aristocrat assessing the situation from that perspective.

“I think…it’s…my fault we’re even having this conversation.” says Lem.

“True!” says Lacey. “But let’s try to discuss it! Non?!”

“When will you be MINE!??” screams JFK, drunk and obsessed and obnoxious, at Lem, interrupting their conversation with a world leader who’s currently capable of blowing up the whole world. He’s carried away by angels and demons, in a rare situation, working together to restrain him.

“AWESOME!” says China, sarcastically.

“I think…that as long as governments are democratic…that corrupt groups of people…will have their way. At least on occasion. And…it’s for the best. But…we aren’t allowed to say that. And we have to fight them regardless because they aren’t following the laws. So…they become a…necessary part of democracy. And you have to fight them! But…sometimes it’s best they get away with it, so to speak.” says Lem.

“That’s true! But it’s not exactly what Lacey and were talking about!” says Tsar Putin.

“It’s close?” says Lacey.

“What do you think of it?” says Louis.

“I think what Lem said true. Most likely. …And then based on that…it’s…a question of what life you chose to lead. …My father chose to live a life of…rebellion. Rebellion against ‘THE ESTABLISHMENT’! Ha! …And I respect that. Because he also fought in World War I. And did his bit to make America great! He cared. But…it’s sad. It’s a dreary, sad life. …And he knew that! And if I’m his daughter…he tried to shield me from it. And if I’m his daughter I know it’s because he loved me. But…here I am! …So…it’s a dreary…sad…life. …Possibly necessary! Possibly even honorable at times. But…dark.” says Lacey.

Jo Jo“ do you know I tried to be close to them when they were about 12 or 11 I tried, and they were very cold to me. I didn’t feel excepted by Caroline or or Jack Junior. I did not feel excepted by them him just as any sort of adult in their life when they were about 10 or 11 I thought you know I don’t think these kids really remember a lot or they don’t care and we used to joke around a lot when they were very little. I know when I saw them and they were about 10 or 11. I thought I don’t think I don’t think that they really actually care all that much. They’re trying to pretend like they remember this and there’s some secret back between us there isn’t Caroline you were a little brat and so was your brother when you were about 10 or 11 you both were very important in your own perceptions of yourself And you thought that I was sort of I don’t know I don’t think you thought very highly of me and it wasn’t just that I was you know in the drugs and stuff like that if you just didn’t think that highly of me and that was when you were about 10 or 11 yeah so I kind of decided at that point that you know they would not remember this necessarily at all but I don’t. I thought that point you know I don’t think that I’m really a father figure to these kids I don’t think I’m an uncle figure to them, or a mentor or a godfather I don’t think I’m really all that important to them Jackie thought that I was because Jackie lived in denial of a lot of things every a parts, lots of parts of reality, and she tended to sugarcoat things and white wash things all the time it was just part of how she dealt with her life, but she lied about a lot and so one minute you know I was nobody and she couldn’t stand me And I know it you know maybe you know there was some personal distain in there, but there was also a feeling of some jealousy or something because he know Jack was in love with me and I was gay and I wasn’t but Jack was Noah gay to kind of and she was jealous And then the next minute I was a father to her children and she was celebrating it because that was a nicer thought when he was dead then then thinking that I was the problem person so while he was alive, I was a problem person and then you’d think she’d still feel that way if she really ever felt that way, but then when he died, all the sudden no All of a sudden she was completely fine with our gay relationship. It was a wonderful thing and she was open minded and happy person who just was so in charge of everything conquering the world and it was absurd that I got used to it with her because that’s how she was it wasn’t really him Clear what the narrative wasn’t her head of reality it was hard to know what she even thought about things or what she even thought was going on because she changed, but she was angry about every few minutes practically and every every couple of years it was she was angry about something else And you had it all wrong first time I guess I don’t know she didn’t even care it was this what this was what was wrong now you know that I was a drug addicts and that I was in a shameful awful person, but she was going to invite me to your birthday party because I have been this father figure to you That they are allowed into your lives. You know against their best judgment, and somehow I you know they tried to reach out to me, but I was just a fuck up and so when Jack died, I just went in the back to the bottle and started shooting up because Like I guess you know that’s just my nature that was just too. I was a known jack jack trying to be a husband to me she try to be you know a sort of wife. They tried to have an open marriage with me and include me and have a room for me in the White House But I was just a fuck up to after Jackie died. I just went back to the needle back to the bottle you know back on the street

“I know what she means!” says Putin.

“Sometimes it’s the only way to run a democracy!” says Putin.

“Or a democracy!” says Lacey.

“Yes!” says Lem.

Putin thinks.

“No! We didn’t have such a clear criminal element in the Russian Empire.” says Tsar Nicholas II.

“Is it a power issue?” says a man in Wisconsin.

“YES!!” says Tsar Nicholas II.

“There’s a lack of…safety.” says Lem. “So…the mob steps in to…pick up the pieces or fix the situation.”

“They’re very paternal. In a way.” says Lacey.

Putin nods. “In the context of a country.” he says. “It’s not a family. …It’s a country.”

China laughs. Claps cheerfully for Putin and Lacey. “Well done!”

Putin laughs.

China sighs empathetically with them.

“So what do you think of it!?” says Putin to Lacey.

“Yeah!” says Lem.

“I can’t decide.” says Lacey, exhausted. “I honestly can’t decide.”

“It seems like a mess!!!” yells a Scottish man who might be her father.

Lacey nods.

“It is messy!!” says a woman who might be her mummy.

And at that Lacey has breakfast.

“I might agree!!” says Tsar Nicholas II.

“Well! We were only experimenting with democracy!” jokes Benjamin Franklin.

“So now if there is reincarnation you have Lem trying to protect a little boy who got shot who is now running Russia and his wife!??” says a Canadian.

“YIP! That’s the Kennedy way!” says Lacey’s grandfather who started Lexington, Nebraska.

“I think I can’t decide either!” says Louis to Lacey.

“It’s…messy.” says Lacey.

He nods.

“ oh, no, it’s just that lame is my father figure and my mother knew that she knew what a father figure he was to me and so she invited him to my birthday because he was a father figure and I was extraordinarily close to him. He died because he was a loser drug addict who couldn’t get a job I was just like our little puppy. And that’s the that’s the sort of sad thing about Alys Seay is that she doesn’t understand that love was gay. He was probably slightly in love with me and I’ve known that since I was a teenager I was incredibly hot. I was so fucking hot you guys oh my God, and so is Bobby. We were so fucking hot you guys oh my God! We were so fucking hot guys. We were so fucking hot. All my God you’re so fucking hot everyone motherfuckers I’m so fucking sure that wondering why the fuck is your problem and fuck my mom homeowner fuck Apple tell my God we were so hot! And so it’s like he was a father figure but the same time I think he just like couldn’t help it like wanna fuck us because they were so hot and she just doesn’t understand that it sounds so crass, but then that’s where I have to rely on, my really elite friends in the illuminati, who understand How complicated everything is no way that she does it because she’s not really elite like us. I mean how much money do they really even have they just have billions in oil but that’s not like the same thing as having merchandise Mart we are in merchandise mart and other like property is and we made a lot of money from them and yeah, OK my family would probably be more middle class if that if her father hadn’t helped us at historians don’t know that because I could never find proof that our family had anything to do with it like even though it’s obvious that we did but we just are like oh my god you’re racist against the Irish and then we’re just like him no we weren’t bootleggers you’re just a bunch of racist pigs! So now they’ve never found proof and it’s so fucking obvious. Oh my God no it’s so fucking obvious that we really were just like geniuses and investing and estimating the value of land and like why don’t we make that much money anymore because because I mean nowadays, it’s like a really big deal for my son to work at folk while my mother was alive he would’ve been seen as a given that he would work there But now it’s a really big deal. We had to really push those people to hire him which obviously makes it seem like we’re not that big of a deal anymore and that we’re sort of fading answer then you might say oh my God Caroline I just heard that Bobby got appointed to like a cabinet position And that’s really important but you know like why don’t you guys try just a little harder these days but that’s the thing we don’t have to we would have to try that hard I mean yeah he ran for president and he lost but so big big fucking deal that was the American people’s choice and my family believes in democracy and my family believes in the choice of the American people You know we believe in choice! We believe that basically the American people are like the coolest people to ever live! So why don’t we try a little harder and make more money well, basically because basically because I am we’re just chillin’! And we’re just chilling out we weren’t really hard to be rich for like the first time in years of establishing at the dynasty of the American peoples royal family the Kennedys we worked our asses off, so I just don’t see the point and why we have to keep trying I mean I’m tired my family is tired and I think we just you know it’s like everyone got shot. We tried running for president. We tried being this and that and we all just got shot And it wasn’t because were criminals. That’s an insult that as an insult to the elite amazingness of my fucking amazing better than everyone family while I called him the better than everyone family because I’m trying to practice positive witchcraft.

As the messages on it, he said just own it Caroline just own the fact that you think your family is better than any family to ever exist and so I decided to own it and just start saying I have a better than everyone family. No, I mean the thing is my family really is better than everyone OK? So why don’t you just make more money and get back at it because we don’t need to buy they can still run for president and be elected to a cabinet position. I can still help Obama win and be like ambassador to a cool country, like Japan. My son can still work at Vogue. We don’t need to like make more money that is so fucking unnecessary and we’re so rich still in a way how many yeah the house on Cape Cod has severe problems that need to be fixed because it’s huge and it’s aging and it’s in a shit condition at this point and ask him for it to fix anything so Bobby’s had to try to sell the family name so that we don’t have mold problems in our ceilings but We’re still in the wealthiest families in the entire world. We are still in the most powerful, wealthy families in the entire fucking world! We don’t have to make more money because we have the Kennedy estate on Cape Cod is a huge white house. There are several huge white houses on Cape Cod and they’re all ours! We don’t need more money we have plenty! I mean we were best friends with the Biden administration can you get more impressive than that!?

That is us celebrating with her Irish Bibles in the White House with Joe Biden, an Irish leader, if there ever was one oh my God you guys oh my God!

You know, it’s not like we need more money I mean look at us we’re all super rich obviously! So I mean oh my God like or super red and weed we don’t need my money which Cisco need anymore because we had so much and it’s just like it’s still there anymore. Tell me Caroline it’s not there anymore. We still have some but it’s not there anymore the way that it was And I said, I say to myself that can’t be true because we still have the house!” says Caroline.

“ oh, OK!” says JP Kennedy.

“ I’ve i’ve seen a lot of movies where the family is still rich in England. If they can keep this state, they’re still considered rich and they can get money at stores and they can still be hired places and be a big deal as long as they keep the house.” says Caroline.

“ that’s not necessarily completely stupid perception does matter, but so does reality.” says JP Kennedy.

“ oh, we did do some really cool things we did Caroline you were very disrespectful to women who I might have actually tried to marry this morning, and it was actually very personally offensive to me.” says Joe Kennedy Junior. “ if you had just excepted that possibility years ago and not made fun of her for it behind closed doors. We wouldn’t be here right now and that’s why were letting you make an ass of yourself this morning on her block your father was a spendthrift sweetie. He was a fucking idiot compared to me and some degree compared to Bobby your father was a fake at Caroline maybe not maybe not 100% fake it but he was a bit of one and I was too frankly very slightly but not as much as your father your father was a huge fake at Caroline why am I calling him a Fagge it because I was born in 1915 and I’m dead and I don’t give a shit. Your father was a faggot. I am Lacey is from a different time in the way that she thinks to some degree and she was trying to help you this morning because you guys are really backward and in mature and this whole 20th century late 20th century 21st-century bullshit of that it’s fine to just wipe yourself and never get over things never move on or even try to and just live in some narcissistic bubble is very offensive to Lacey and very pensive to me as well I I’ve had a far if I was shot, sweetie, and I never would have been because I wasn’t as much of a fuck up as your father if I had been president I would’ve never been shot! And that’s the woman you’re talking to someone who might’ve thought I wasn’t good enough and found someone else that’s why you’re talking to a woman who would’ve had to have the grace of Christ, and may not have even been able to do it to be married to me, because I am so far beneath her as a person. And then you’re all Acadie and bitchy sweetie, your father died decades ago. Today was supposed to be her birthday she’s sick. Your father has been sadistically, abusing her, trying to suffocate her to death from the other side and you’ve been a worthless bitch, you destroyed the American government possibly with your tomfoolery we have Your dip shit first cousin desperately trying to do something to save the family name and protect himself and I don’t know what he’s trying to do but I’m trying to figure that out and then we have you and your son thinking that you’re going to do who the fuck knows what you’re both just as fucking stupid as your father! do you think it’s cute to me that you showed up and told people bunch of bullshit about our family and glory that we don’t possess and then we lost the election why the fuck would I be impressed by that? Why the fuck would I be pleased with you I’m not!

Lame does not think of you sweetheart as his daughter why are you such a fucking parasite? I’m your actual uncle does not mean anything to you little bitch!??” yells Joe Junior at Caroline.

“I agree.” says Donald Trump.

“ no, I said ‘who the fuck raised that little brat!?’” says Joe Junior to Donald Trump Sr..

“ why are you people so slow in recognizing who she is it’s weird as hell!” says JP Kennedy.

“ Caroline what were you expecting her to say to you sweetie your dad has been dead for a very long time.” says Joe Junior.

“ do you know they never seem to understand that they never seem to understand that he’s been dead for a very long time. The world should not have to keep mourning him. It’s weird as fuck.” says Lacey.

“ it is kind of.” says China.

“ I mean Jack/Berg has never even met his father or grandfather he’s never even met his grandfather. How the hell can that little twerp say, with a straight face that his grandfather is his hero he’s never even met him.” says Lem

“ lame what really do you feel about these people?” says a perfume hater.

so that was what I dealt with Caroline if you’re listening him in reality I I just thought these kids don’t really care all that much and let’s put it this way. I actually did hate your father. I’m not just saying that I really did but I would’ve never wanted to get you kids involved in that because I would’ve tried to protect you because your children. Lacey‘s perspective is slightly different but at the same time it’s not because she is a mom and she has common sense and decency. So she tries to protect you, but if you keep siding with your father, there’s nothing she can do about it Caroline if your son keeps siding with your father if he keeps sitting against her, there’s nothing she can do about it you’re adults.

I don’t see how he has never seen a white grasp that you did make money off of bootlegging you were dependent on her father without him you people wouldn’t be who you are, and she says that somewhat cautiously, but in reality that could actually be true. So they made you who you are and then you’re torturing her like a bunch of fucking idiots. Her family has billions and oil and you’re expecting her to fill. I guess story for you right now after you were just a horrible bitch to her on a day that your family has sadistically ruined her entire life? It’s absurd!

Oh, but she’s a very fair minded person. She’s a very gracious woman. She’s very kind, and she was not responsible for Maves death or Gideon‘s death or searches death. Other people wore not necessarily even on her behalf. They just really got pissed off for their own reasons, and it could be in relation to her, but let me tell you if it is sweetie it’s people you don’t want to fuck with and I mean really you don’t wanna fuck with these people I’m not just talking about the mob I’m talking about like dynasties throughout all of American, and no throughout all of human history, like the Qing dynasty I mean you don’t fuck with those people. You’re talking to the Dad Caroline in the illuminati. I don’t think people are saying to realize that so these people are sitting around to some degree watching you coming up with these ideas about things getting opinions and it’s not television they can actually interact with you to some degree and so you think it makes sense to talk to them And treat them like some sort of video game and they’re not a video game they’re real people.

The thing is, I don’t know how to explain this to you easily, but I was straight Caroline I did not actually love your father in a romantic or sexual way at all. I cared about you and your mom. I cared about your whole family but your your family was very cold towards me. If I had anything to do with the assassination of your father, I am more than willing to talk about that but I don’t think you guys live in that possibility at all I I I don’t think that that’s remotely something you think is possible and so I can’t have that discussion with you if you’re not living in that possibility if you can’t fathom that frankly, if you’re too middle class to understand that that’s even possible there’s nothing I can do. So we could talk about why I chose to help people assassinate him if I did, we could talk about that but you know you don’t want to do that, so we won’t do that.

I don’t think you guys realize how people are when they’re not middle class. I’m not really a middle class. Neither is Lacey or upper class, so is Vladimir Putin if I were to have assassinated somebody in his family so to speak he would’ve automatically wondered if it was me right off right from the start he actually might’ve wondered if I was going to assassinate your father long before I ever dead if I did it all, Lacey might have as well. The queen of England, who is no longer with us physically then her temporary state the fallen world would’ve also wondered but we’re not middle-class Caroline and there are people who are more working class or who are poor who also might have wondered him because we have something in common with them and that way we see the harsh realities For what they really are. So it’s like maybe what she said to you today was harsh, but it was from her heart and him. I think she was trying and that’s the kind of thing that would’ve comforted her own children frankly with Joe and they may not be children who would even exist, but he knew that Lacey is kind of a ditz, and it touched him today that in her subconscious. Somehow she worked this out And maybe that’s not even quite what she was thinking but I I think there was a little bit of that or some thing and he caught that and that’s why he got so affected by it because he thought you know she’s right this is exactly what I would’ve wanted my kids to hear it would’ve never even happened. He would’ve never let that happen. He really wouldn’t have he would’ve. He would’ve never let his kids have that conversation with her mother or anybody else but I have a feeling Pat might’ve said some thing similar to be honest it’s kind of like this is just how it is you’ll see him again in heaven, you know we keep a step up for lift a step, upper lip, stiff upper lip. You know we cry in private you can cry I’m your mom I’ll be strong for you This is the loss of your daddy that’s the idea it’s like you’re losing your daddy that’s when she when she says he loves you no does he love you yeah and then that’s where you lost your daddy and so then that’s why her and Pat probably would have had a similar reaction. There is kind of like yes you’ve lost your daddy and that’s why you’re crying because you lost your daddy but All the other stuff, you know the politics and all that don’t worry about that that’s some thing for me to worry about. I am trying to tell you what’s happening that your father was a bit of a criminal that there’s evil who hate us that there’s a problem in the world that were you know dealing with But really at the end of the day you just lost your daddy and it’s sad but you’ll see him again OK and we can mourn him we can grieve him, but let’s not you know, lose our heads over it because it’s not necessary totally unnecessary cry as much as you need to, but you’ll see him again this is this is just the following world it’s not forever And she really believes that and yes there’s grieving and yes there’s crying and there’s a motion but I watched her with my own children with her and they know I exist they do they know in their heart that I love them and that I exist, and they’ve never met me, but they have met their mom and They are my kids in heaven and so I’m able to sort of communicate to them at my daughter actually do a picture of me

She just drew it and hurt. Her subconscious was actually drawing me. She sees me I look like this that’s my hair. I have a little bald I may have been wearing sunglasses or I may have just been wearing my regular glasses and she might’ve seen a reflection, but that’s me. She drew a picture of me and she’s not seen me, but she knows that I’m her daddy and that I love her very very much and that’s me.

She knows my spirit that is my son and that’s what Lacey has given our children they know me I know my father they know my mom they know my sister and my brother and that’s the thing Caroline she would have given you that she would’ve given you that that’s what she was trying to give you today And maybe that’s not really something you could handle but that’s what she was trying to give you to comfort you. Is this knowledge that no daddy still alive in Christ he still exists you’re fine he’s just not here right now and we can cry and grieve that, but it really is just temporary and as an adult, she thought you would except that even quicker you know children might have to cry and then you hold them, and They might be sad but as an adult, she assumes that you’ve been through more of a grieving process because you’re not an idiot she assumed, and she thought that maybe you would be able to sort of take some comfort in the thought that this isn’t the end and you know to be honest with you, Bobby has to some degree Caroline no he’s not my special friend, but he actually has taken a little bit of comfort from the fact that there’s probably an afterlife from talking to her I don’t think he’s completely absorbed the idea, but I think he’s a little more open to it for whatever reason, and it may actually have been somewhat comforting to him at some point in the last few years, which may actually be why he’s become a Republican to 7° because he he finds other like-minded people who believe in God, who believe in afterlife, who think no there’s it’s not just nothing And I think for him in the relationship he had with his father this is harsh. It’s been helpful because his dad wasn’t your father and I was I think you guys got confused about that his father was not as messed up as your dad. I’m sorry I have to say that it’s just true. His father was somewhat bisexual. Ethel knows that she’s had a conversation with Lacey about it believe it or not and Lacey told her that Bobby is somewhat bisexual potentially and Ethel was open to the possibility that she’d fall in love with a man who is fully capable of loving her, but may not have just been attracted to women. What is that allowed in heaven or not and I don’t think she found it all that startling, I think it actually made some sense to her And they may still be together but that’s their family Caroline not your family.

You are all related you are all the Kennedys but I think there’s some toxic sense that you’re all still in the same mediate family and you’re not you know I am yes there are different families now within the Kennedy family and I don’t quite understand how you guys have made such an ass of yourselves sorry to be so crass, but not understanding that Because it’s obvious that you guys don’t get along completely different people saw things in different ways that different people have different approaches to things and that you’re not all the same people. And I think that you’ve embarrassed yourselves at times to different people in America and around the world because you all seem to think you’re the same exact family and people are like that doesn’t really make sense because they’re just cousins and sometimes cousins can disagree and I don’t know why you guys don’t get it, the Kennedys is it’s like a brand and that’s why you’re so offended if there’s anything saying a rational about it all and the person who started that brand the person who started that mythology sweetie is your grandfather not you or your dad the person who started that was the person who was trying to marry her Joe Kennedy, Junior, and your grandfather so when she gets angry Caroline, it is a big deal!

Bit because they’re there is the originals that’s your president. Those are the people who are sort of supposed to be guiding you and she’s actually being very patient with you right now because she still cares about all of you just as people so I’m gonna try again and then we’re gonna have to let it go. That’s a picture of me that my daughter drew my daughter Caroline you’re not my daughter, do you know that picture sweetie that picture that my daughter drew with me my actual daughter physically spiritually do you understand what she does about my face? She knows I have a large face. She knows what I look like. Do you know what I look like?” says Lem.

Bobby Jr. laughs.

“I don’t know that you do. Bobby has studied my pants he studied. He studied a lot about me because he found me attractive possibly and he finds Lacey attractive and I think he was trying because we’re not really his uncle and aunt we’ve told him that, and I think he kind of knows that, and so I think he thinks he’s people are good looking they’re not my relatives you know who knows him and people gave him the idea Caroline that I was in love with him. People have said that people still do and it’s not really true. it’s brainwashing the way that it said the way that it said it’s like this is what happened you believe it it’s not like conjecture or historical analysis it’s more this is what happened this was in people magazine or something like that you know and it’s some person who is supposed to trust telling you what really happened in my head I did not transfer my love from your father on the Boppy. That is not what happened. I was not in love with you that I did not transfer love from your father on the Bobby. I didn’t ever have sex with Bobby I didn’t ever want to OK but he I think he’s believed that and so I think he’s had a crush on me. I think he might’ve had one when he was even in my house you know and I’m being bashful in reality and also you know being young just nothing ever happened but I think he, I think he might have wanted something to happen and I think he definitely feels that way about Lacey. He’s been very open about that and then you know that sort of funny and away there’s something almost endearing about that people in my generation an in general because it’s kind of cute. You know, Bobby, an asshole son, even homosexuality isn’t allowed to having people are still Fallin, and got his mercy for our humanity, and there is something slightly endearing about the fact that you know he thinks that the buildings are cute both the man and the woman that they’re both just the Dreamius both of them because there’s there’s a sort of lack of self-awareness on his part and it’s very sincere I don’t. I don’t think he fully realizes what he’s saying. It is kind of like he’s stuck in this child like stayed in his head where he just thinks the billings are like the cutest people ever, you know he has a crush on them both of them both Lacey and I and It’s and I can kind of imagine him picking the man and the woman off the wedding cake you know and putting it in his pocket and taking it home with him at our wedding just because you know I don’t know you know he’s just kind of got a thing for both of us. I guess I don’t know.

But that isn’t necessarily something that we like it’s just we’re very loving people, and with a slight bit of British humor from both of us, we find it kind of dead. I know it’s just sort of funny that he’s so attached to both of us you know him because it is just it is it is it is very innocent but it’s anyway, Caroline I don’t think you’re quite there yet, and then Lacey and I think how did these adults get so stunted?

Oh Shakespeare wrote you know stories based on people like Lacey and I who have full-fledged conversations with her uncles and aunts that they take seriously you know it’s not like why are you in my living room telling me peppers something something rotten in Denmark it’s my uncle talk to me from the grave and now I know there’s a problem in Denmark and I best go attend to it at least that’s what I remember from Shakespeare you know it’s not quite so mysterious at and that’s the thing so my daughter has that gift and so does my son of knowing who I am and I know that this morning she was trying to give you that gift do you know if you and Bobby and all of you keep saying we miss our dad boy we miss our dad do you know Ella castle says that to everything just fell apart and Bobby died It’s always a no I got messed up because my dad died when I was three boy everyone just in all doesn’t understand I have these problems because my uncle got shot you know it’s just my other uncle got shot too and that’s just I don’t know it just keeps happening to us in our family Yeah and it’s just weird but I guess you know that’s where all my problems came from was when my uncle and my dad got shot Caroline why wouldn’t she think when she keeps hearing you say that over and over again? Why wouldn’t she think these people just need to know that their dad still exists that would be comforting to her that’s comforting to my children it’s good it will be comforting to lots of people to hear know your dad still exists he really does end you’ll see him again you really will. He really exist it’s not you know just nonsense it’s real you’ll see him.

I mean there are you sit in your 60s or 70s still afraid of ghosties? Or what? What the fuck is wrong with you? You’re an old woman you are an old woman, Caroline and you’re so close and prefers that you’re afraid of ghosties still or what!? You’re involved in the illuminati, you sacrifice children you are fully aware that children being sold into slavery and you tolerate that but you’re afraid of ghosts no, that’s perverse. And I think that’s why you couldn’t accept the love that was offered to you this morning because you’re a little fucked up! Or what is it because Lacey still wants to assume the best of you she still thinks that maybe you actually aren’t as close to your father as you pretend to be oh that maybe you people are messed up to begin with and then that means that you really are just peasant, Irish riffraff you’re not the hill family of Minnesota you’re not a lot of other Irish families at best you’re a bunch of cannibalistic Heretical peasant riffraff. And that’s that is obviously not a good thing, but I have your something far worse I have you was the absolute scum of the Earth.

I don’t think Lacey wants to think it’s quite that terrible. I think she wants to think that maybe you’re hiding some sort of secret hatred for your father. And then I think did they actually make assholes of themselves today because they decided to just let her think the worst of them but see that’s the thing that’s her still trying to think the best of you and I find it deplorable if you’re not worthy of that love.

Caroline I saw you when you were about 10 or 11 and you were not interested in me as a person I don’t mean that sexually I don’t mean that romantically I mean that you found me on cool and you were a snob. So was your brother. You are both snobs. And I saw you and I thought these kids don’t really give a shit about me at all and I don’t mean like I was trying to be your best friend or I was trying to be close to you necessarily in any way that would have made some sense but I I I got the sense that you just thought I was a really Uncool person very uncool. And that the closeness that I thought we had do you know when I read you stories or I pick up your hamster and I literally pick you up when you were needing to be picked up you know when you were crying or something I thought I don’t think that that actually matters to these kids it just doesn’t really matter to them almost at all OK and that was the decision you made yourself about me.

And listen, I was OK with that because I actually hated your father I was straight I wasn’t in love with him. Our friendship didn’t really even exist. It wasn’t a real friendship. It wasn’t a real friendship. It was just it. Yeah, it wasn’t a real. It wasn’t a real friendship it was And it was not really a mistake, and it was a mistake, but I’m trying to describe the actual relationship. Listen if your father hadn’t been a narcissist, I don’t think we could’ve been friends because he wouldn’t have wanted to be my friend and I would’ve realized that we didn’t really have that much in common Some of the good times that we had were really just him being manipulative and faking it to sort of make me like him but I think that we could have we could’ve been acquaintances. If your father hadn’t been a narcissist we could’ve been I don’t know maybe acquaintances, and that probably would’ve been about as as much as much as it ever would’ve been, it’s just you know, kind of a vague sort of friend, but not really like a close friend, but your father was homosexual and he found me attractive and that was kind of weird because I was straight and he also got confused because I was confused, but I also think that he had some perversion there, where he was enjoying the fact that I seem so straight. Because I am straight I mean I am straight. That’s why I seem straight because I actually I am and he knew that and um there’s something Very creepy about the fact that he’s played with everyone’s head and that way I seem straight because I am and he enjoyed torturing me so if he had been a narcissist, if he hadn’t been malignant no I don’t think that we probably would have been friends or acquaintances, maybe slightly friends, but not much And so all that to say I was completely fine with you rejecting me OK I should say completely fine because there was a little part of me that thought you know this is sort of sad you know I was there when they were babies I can I saw their mother carry them I helped her around when she had them in her womb to and I was very involved but you know and so that way as a person it was heartbreaking to me but I thought no they they’re not really interested in actually being close to me at all, and I took that very sincerely and I thought no these kids really just start all that interested OK and I got that in my head and then when you were a little older and you developed a crush on me and you lied about that so you want you developed a crush on me or something Caroline so did your brother I don’t know what happened but it seems like you guys got more interested me as you got older and it was weird I think your mother probably prompted it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if other people did too, and I started thinking no I should start engaging with them I guess for their sake, but to be honest with you I think I always had kind of assumed that we weren’t really close but I cared about you, but that we weren’t really that close. You’re at your mother might’ve thought otherwise other people might think otherwise then reality I never really thought that I never thought that the two of you weren’t really all that close to me. I thought no they’re not yeah and that’s it. Thank your light I did hate your father I was straight so when you kids rejected me I thought fine OK I thought fine and then I kind of let go of it and I lived in that mindset for about 10 years 10 and 11 years before I died. No I lived in that mindset Caroline for about almost 10 years. If not 10 years I thought no these kids are aren’t really my kids and I’m fine with that. I’m actually I’m fine with that. They’re not my kids that’s not my daughter that’s not my son those are not my children and that was the reality that I lived in Caroline three years before I died. I thought these kids are not really my children and you aren’t Caroline you are not my children. You are not my children. None of you are him and I think how do I say this it’s like Lacey and I have a tendency to try to think the best of people and so at times I entertained that possibility that I really was like a father figure to some of you, and so yes, that’s part of the reason why I thought you should carry me around but but I didn’t but I didn’t think oh these kids are really my kids if that makes any sense it was more of a thought like well maybe they’re my children or maybe they’re kind of like my kids so I’ll eat I’ll let them carry me around. You know I’m being a little mean I guess but if there is anything loving between us, then I really cracking them in a sense and telling them that their little spoiled fucking brats so it’s like go ahead and carry me around. I’m heavy in your little dip, shits or go ahead and carry me around, and you know your dip shits you’re a little fucking spoiled brat and I actually I did care about you, but your kids are just absolute fucking little monsters from hell

So that was the thought it’s like another my kids I guess maybe maybe not but if they are in one that be nice just want to be nice to have kids of my own but I didn’t get to have that Caroline because I was messed up. I thought it was gay and I wasn’t, so it’s like no you know maybe they’re like my kids I don’t know but if they are than boys, they’re gonna get tired carry me around and if they’re not then those little fuckers will pay! So it was that sort of thing that is not the relationship. I have with my actual children at all, but that’s because those are my actual children. My kids are not like that and I would never have them carry me around that way in 1 million years if my son carried me around it it would be an honor and I might have had him carry me around, but really in a very Celtic sort of way, but Celtic more like a Scotsman and not so much like an Irishman or like an Irishman, but not like your family is more like Louis Hild you here’s family is Irish on it the idea would be that he’s big and strong and brave and he’s proving himself that he can carry around the family otter you know, and then that would’ve been part of the mythology. It would’ve been obvious if that was part of what was happening it wouldn’t of been that you were caring me around one last time. Whatever the fuck that even is it would be more and maybe you did carry me around and if you did sweetie that is not a good thing I was torturing you people with my weight, because I hated you to some degree if my son carried me around The idea would be that he was but he was strong just like me cause he’s my son and so he could carry the weight and he would maybe be able to do it alone he might have brothers with him, but that would be the idea, and that would be the honor of the whole thing. We probably have big pipes playing in the background people would be wearing kilts it would be very ceremonial and very religious. It would be entirely different than what you guys did. So there would be a sort of bitterness with us, but a sweet sort of joy in the the thought that Dad is dead we’re in charge we’re running the show we get to have the fun of running everything you know, taking over the whole thing, making the country the way that we want it to be making you know the clown the way that we want it to be running the estate the way we think it should be run. But that’s not what happened right because it’s America so who cares right but it does still matter because we live in reality Caroline.

So that’s the problem sweetie if there’s reincarnation this is real, your father was really a Japanese asshole. And I’m really Constantine and she’s really a Scottish woman she’s just as Celtic sweetie if not more Celtic than your whole fucking family. And it’s real I mean the thing is if it’s reincarnation Caroline, she was Scottish, not Scottish American. She was actually Scottish and she was an aristocrat. So all that stuff with the plaid in the clans, and all that if there’s reincarnation is very real to her, it’s very much a part of who she is, that’s not who the Scottish Americans are. There is a difference.

Him so I’m just trying to explain reality. OK I had your kids caring me around to torture you or maybe on some off chance that maybe you know you were my kids kind of in a way, but then the idea would have still been to torture you to torture you some to torture you some because I’m huge, and it was a heavy casket.

You know, I would be willing to talk with you about what happen while your father was shot who was angry at him why they were angry what really might’ve actually happened and we could have that discussion and this is a possibly safe place to do that but we can’t keep you know tolerating Lacey and I cannot keep tolerating the fact that you guys are liars And that you’re you’re not dealing with reality.

So no you don’t get it. You don’t understand. You’re not my daughter. And as I say that, I worry that you’re going to try to torture and kill my actual children. Out of some absolutely disgusting place in your hearts. You know with no respect for the fact that I actually did take care of you. I actually did try and you kids weren’t even interested. You weren’t interested in having me as a father figure and you know honestly, I didn’t even think it was that bad in my subconscious at least because I didn’t love your father Caroline I was straight I was straight I really was I was a heterosexual, not a homosexual. I wasn’t a closeted homosexual. I was a confused fucked up heterosexual who is being sodomized and taken advantage of by the entire fucking family. No, I’m being honest. This is what happened you people were monsters to me and your foot. Your father was the worst one but you all were a problem. I am so no you know it’s I’m trying to reiterate this because I feel like you’re not hearing me. I didn’t think of you as my child because it was an awkward, weird relationship in reality and in my subconscious there’s a part of me that knew that and I thought no this is fine they don’t have to be my kids they’re not really my kids. This is weird because it always was weird sweetie. I was never in love with your dad or your mom. I was never in love with either of them so why the hell would I be your dad? That’s insane! Yeah Bobby has the same insanity I’m not your father. OK I think you kids want me to be because I’m straight and I’m handsome and I’m tall and I’m big and I am elite and I’m good looking and you know I came from kind of a nice family and my wife is really pretty, but sweetie that’s the thing Lacey is my wife she’s not your mother And Bobby understands that maybe a little better than you do. He might not to he might be messed up, but I think a part of him sort of gets it that Lacey is not really his mom. And if it’s true, we’re not really your parents so you know that’s your problem Carol like if you have memories of me hovering over you, you know it with my glasses and you know smiling at you and laughing with you. That’s your problem OK yeah if you if you remember that stuff that was you having the experience of having a heterosexual dad Who would not have been an alcoholic or a drug addict had you actually been his child ever know it’s it’s confounding to people but it’s true. If if I actually had gotten married and had kids, I wouldn’t have been a heavy drinker I would’ve never used drugs, so that’s the thing a yeah I guess for a few minutes you know here in there you have maybe some subconscious memory of having a heterosexual dad but I wasn’t really your father And you kids rejected me when I was 10 or 11 and that was your choice and then later it’s kind of like maybe I was like a father figure to you slightly or something but it wasn’t really at a natural bond between us anymore and I just didn’t feel like you were my kids. I didn’t feel that closeness to you Oh, that sounds so black and white up because at times I might’ve wondered you know maybe maybe this could be my kids you know but now having had kids with Lacey, having kids in the future I I can speak from experience in saying that you’re not my children you know there was no bond between us in that way I I think there could have been but that’s where is your problem you decided you decided sweetie you decided that that wasn’t the closest that you wanted with me and then if you developed a crush on me. You decided that even more do you know that that does not that’s not you know something that we have him and I am ultimately will be the one that made the decision as the adult and I guess I would say that no, you’re not my children you’re not all I care about you if you want to be mad at me I care about you in Christ as humans otherwise I don’t care about you at all. So that in Christ, I would say yeah, you know if you wanna be angry at me for being there when you were a kid and giving you the impression that I was a real dad to you than you can do that. I am the adult and I am sorry. I am not like your father’s OK. Lacey understands the way that you think may be better than I do and I’m not like your dad OK and if you want to be angry at me for totally fucking up my own life and confusing you call ahead, but that doesn’t that’s that’s what it needs to be is an anger at me and that way you do not some conniving manipulative trick where you’re pretending to care about that but really you don’t because your family does stuff like that. You pretend to have a heart you pretend like you care about yourselves and other people and I don’t even know the end of the day. What are you people care about sometimes. But if you actually do care, and you actually were hurt that are hurt that I was somewhere where I shouldn’t be then I am sorry.” says Lem.

“ are you actually a good dad?” says Kerry Kennedy.

Lem thinks. “I’m my kid’s dad. And they’re my kids. If I’m good enough…then they deserve better.”

“I hear you!” says a Millennial Black father.

“You try.” says Lem.

“That’s all you can do.” says a Gen. X father.

“Yeah!” says Lem.

“Lem…what’s it like being straight?” says a gay man.

“You know…I’ve always been straight. …What’s it like being gay?” asks Lem. “And I’m asking that regardless of whether or not it’s allowed in Heaven. …What’s it like?”

“It’s…different!” says a Black gay man.

“Yeah. What’s it like?” says Lem.

“Dude what the fuck happen with your son!?” says the Black African man.

“He was seduced.

She was not his mother.” says Emperor Constantine.

“Does Bobby think he’s that man?” says the African.

Oil by Jonny Greenwood plays.

“If there’s reincarnation, yes. …And…if there’s reincarnation…we are looking into the heart of pure evil. On this day. November 22nd. …Because if there’s reincarnation…this is the day Lem’s eternal love…was sent into a Hellish life…because she was tricked.” says Michael Rockefeller to the African.

The song plays.

“And her father was tricked.” says the African.

“YES! Exactly. …If there’s reincarnation they both were.” says Lem. “ON THIS DAY.”

“He gave her up. On this day. Regardless?” he says.

“Maybe.” says Lem.

The song ends.

Prospector’s Quartet by Jonny Greenwood plays.

White supremacists in the Illuminati watch as the folks at MSNBC, narcissistically threatened, join in a group circle. To mock the strength of the music.

Jazz Suite No. 2 plays.

They dress in Native American fur costumes. Arms outstretched over each other’s backs. They do a sort of Jewish (?) weird…Fiddler On The Roof thing. All spinning in a circle.

“What’s this supposed to do!??” yells a white supremacist from South Carolina.

Steve Kornacki looks up. Stands away from the circle. Pauses to think and answer the question.

3:10

The music blares in the background.

He decides to awkwardly wait for the song to end.

He stands there.

Adagio for Strings, Op. 11 as performed by The Smithsonian Chamber Players plays.

Joan Walsh takes a bohemian see-through scarf and raises it into the air as she does a dance.

“Ahh…it’s a joke.” says Steve Kornacki.

The white supremacist nods. “What’s the joke?”

“I mean…we have to do this shit. …Right? …But we’re all better than this!” says Steve Kornacki with possibly some heart.

The white supremacist nods. “Go on!” he says.

Steve looks nervous. He thinks. “So…we have…jobs. …I have a job. …You have a job. …And we have to do it!”