“Jackie Fitzgerald Kennedy” by a British Man

The final rounds have to do with sex.

(Adult content below)

Jack do you like sex?

“Yes.” says Jack, grinning.

Jack…do you make people orgasm or do you just orgasm?

“I make people orgasm!” says JFK, indignantly and shy.

Jack don’t lie. Do you really?

“No.” says Jack, anxiously.

Lacey do you like sex?

“I like making love.” says Lacey.

Lacey do you make men who you love orgasm?

“I only sleep with men who I love. And yes. Every time.” says Lacey.

Alright an angel watching over you guarantees that.

Lacey…thank you for trying to deal with this nonsense.

Lem: Lacey.

Very well.

Jack…how many sexual positions are you capable of? And how many did you do with Lem?

“Three or four?” says JFK, indignantly. “Three.”

How many are you capable of Lacey?

“Endless, eventually. For now…30.” says Lacey.

Lem: We had it in two different ways. Not three.

…Lacey.

Fair enough, Lem.

Who has a better smile?

Lem: Lacey. *he finally cries*

Too bad you’re crying Lem. Gee. I wonder why? Is it something that was said? Or something we’ve implied today?

Lem…this next one’s gonna be difficult. Right?

Who do you want to spend eternity making love to?

Lem: Lacey.

Alright. ….Why do you think you acknowledged Jack at all? Your classmates all hated him. He was extremely unpopular for a good reason. Some people are targeted and other people are just loathed by their peers for a reason, and Jack was the latter.

Anyway. Lem…people will hate you or be tempted to when they die. People who are alive right now. Your generation, of which I’m a part, understands you. But most people alive today will hate you when they die. Truly. Or be tempted to. …Can you handle that? I hope so.

People alive today will also be tempted to hate JFK. More than people who have died previously.

Who would you rather make love to? If you were gay. …You can choose to abstain. Jack a scoundrel, pervert and scumbag? Jack a heinous, pedophilic, incestuous monster? Jack Kennedy? Your supposed “best friend”…or Lacey, a sad, lonely, internally beaten-up, saint-like woman who once considered being a nun?

Lem: Lacey.

Interesting. I know Lacey both did and did not expect that answer which is very bad news for you. Maybe not forever. But…you really did yourself in.

Jack…what’s it like being in your head when you orgasm for Lem? Or did?

“I felt really good.

And knew he’d love me forever. Because why wouldn’t he? That’s just a guarantee. There’s no possible way when a man makes you orgasm that he isn’t…yours. Forever.” says Jack, caught off guard in the last to answer this honestly.

Jack did you make him orgasm?

“No!” says JFK.

Jack…in your mind when you’re made to orgasm you’re in the power position? But I assume you got addicted to getting off?

“I made him do it!” says JFK.

Right. Because you were addicted. But…what did he get out of it?

“A room in the White House! Ahh…I mean…who gets that!? Man! Ahh…he was given jobs by my family. Like not blow jobs. But…work. Okay? And…he was friends with my sisters. And my mom was nice to him. And he was able to afford a nice apartment.” says Jack.

Did he like your family?

“He better have!!!” yells JFK.

But did he?

“I don’t fucking know!” barks JFK.

Jack. I think he could have bought his own apartment.

“He sure as Hell couldn’t have. How dare you say that!!!” yells JFK.

I see.

Lacey…what have you thought of as you’ve made love with Lem?

“Becoming one.” says Lacey. “With him.”

Are you happy?

“No! I’m ready to end the world.” says Lacey.

Is it because the world is literally joining together just to keep you from becoming one with Lem?

“At times yes!!!” yells Lem.

“WHY!?” yells Marsie. “I never agreed to this!”

“Yes! You did!!” yells JFK.

“No, I didn’t. That’s bullshit.” says a worker at a grocery store in San Francisco.

“That’s funny.” says JFK.

So…Lem…would you rather have a room in the White House, an obsessive stalker as your so-called “best friend”, and a huge family following you around and telling you what to think and feel constantly everyday on penalty of death…or the murder of your family…or a wife and a family living somewhere? And of course I mean Jack and Lacey.

Lem: Lacey.

Got it.

Say. The Kenendys are extremely upset and lying about it. They insist you’re not Lem or you’re lying.

And you know…it’s funny how a new article comes out proclaiming your love for Jack almost every year. Usually in People. Or some LGBTQ+ journal, or something of that sort. If you had to pick between having Lacey and finding a way to kill her before she turns 40 and killing your kids…from the grave…or living a placid, normal life as Jack’s husband in an unhappy marriage where you still were straight and confused but you lost Lacey for eternity because she gave up on you…which would you choose?

Lem: Lacey.

Yes. Right! So…what now? You’re dead. And you ruined your life, Lem. You almost obliterated your own soul. You destroyed your family name, in some way. You were a discredit to everyone who truly loved you. And I happen to know…you had a good heart all the while. You weren’t…trying to be a bad person. Correct? You weren’t trying to be a bad person?

“Yes. I was not trying to be a bad person.” says Lem.

I’m sorry you were born, in a way. I’m sorry Jack was born in a way too.

Listen…I know you are fighting the good fight. And that a great deal of your self-obliteration was accidental. But is their anything you want to be accountable for that you did truly on your own? Not by being attacked and badgered but on your own?

“Not telling my family more.

Not leaving behind more evidence to suggest I was being taken advantage of. That was lack of imagination and laziness.

Not…realizing how dangerous it was to give up and let Jack believe we were actual friends. I had a way out. And I should have realized that acknowledging him at all was dangerous. I played it down in my bead. But…I didn’t realize…how stupid it was.

I grew-up in a family that doubted American leadership at times. Rebels. But…I should have realized the danger in supporting Jack Kennedy at all.” says Lem.

“Why did you!?!?” asks Louis Bayard.

“He was…rebellious. And I cared about the little man. I cared about poor people. And Irish Catholic immigrants. And I felt it wasn’t a big deal if he was a little evil. Because I surmised that many American leaders had been evil before him and would be afterwards. So…why not an Irish Catholic who was a little evil? Right? I thought he’d…shake things up a bit. You know? And I believed he was…not the worst thing to happen to the US.

I actually did help him get elected. But I didn’t believe in him, so to speak. I just felt he was…fine.

As I aged I had regrets. But…I kept most of them to myself. I did note that Joe Junior would have been a better US President though. And I’m sorry, but Louis that totally discredits your novel. I didn’t think JFK was an extraordinary man. AT ALL. …Why would I claim that his older brother who was his rival to their deaths would have made a better President if I was so impressed by Jack? That makes no sense. No. I wasn’t that in awe of Jack. …Something more nefarious was going on.

I needed to avoid him. So I used prostitutes. I threw prostitutes at him to get him off my case.

Anyway…I did mess-up.” says Lem.

“So you didn’t even love him!? And you were depressed for other reasons!?” says Sally B. Smith.

“YES!!!” screams Lem. “Why doesn’t anyone consider that possibility!?”

“Oh. Well. Because it’s boring.” says Sally.

No. Not really Sally.

“Well I found it boring.” says Sally.

“Lem…people took a lot of shortcuts in analyzing you.” admits David Pitts. “Sally very much included. But…you did…impersonate a gay man. And sadly…Americans aren’t that perceptive.”

“Yeah.

See…in other countries they knew when someone was gay. Before people were so open about it. Lacey just knows. And I bet lots of people used to be like that.

But in America you can’t do that. That’s part of why the Nesheims are so confusing. They’re too humble. And we can’t easily tell the difference. Americans might not be good with subtleties.” says a woman.

“I am spoiled at this point as a gay man and so it’s very hard for me to let go of the thought that he was gay because it’s so ingrained in our subculture. You’d be surprised by how many gay men identify with him or see him as a sort of mascot for being a sort of traditionalist.

And I think that’s sad because why was he a traditionalist? I think it’s because he was straight not a traditionalist. I think he maybe was somewhat traditional, but maybe not to the degree that we’ve made him out to be thinking he was this prissy, prim, asexual, cashmere wearing recluse.

I think he I think he is so much traditional, but I think he also have to put them in context of his time. I don’t know that he would be as traditional today and if Lacey is illegitimate, I don’t think he’s capable of being born today. I think it’s rather rare that she’s here genetically, well at her age anyway.

I I look mostly gay, if not completely, and I highly doubt that she would’ve ever expected anything sexual for me even if we were very close friends, I think she would’ve actually been slightly repulsed by the idea potentially, and I would’ve had to convince her of it, and she’s not attracted to gay men And I think was it four or five weeks ago or something like that someone said you know it’s weird that you’re attracted to him if he’s gay, why have we lost that in the last two weeks in discussion that irritates me if I’m reading this at some point in my eternity why do you constantly discredit her gender, her generation’s perspective on everything but also on this. That has to stop at some point because it’s repulsive. The boomers do that to every generation that’s not their own at least the American ones do and it’s so perverse and stupid.

No I don’t Phyl is I don’t feel threatened by her I’m British but I don’t feel threatened by her and I feel bad because I have a very strong suspicion when I analyze him objectively and don’t just by end of the line that I was told was true that he was straight. he quit, trying to make her die through suffocation or whatever it is that you’re doing. I have a very strong psychic sense that you are genuinely trying to suffocate her. Somehow if she dies, there are a lot of people who will regret being born. I guarantee you that.

Lem was impersonating a gay man most likely. Lem was impersonating, a gay man most likely. I think it’s very unlikely that Lem was gay. Who have you shut out by insisting he was gay I’ll tell you who’s voice you’ve quiet it in the Democratic Party it’ll scare you shitless as they say.

You shut out middle class, white Midwestern, southern south western western. You’ve shut up most of America that’s white and middle class and reasonably well off but not bourgeois. and so most of the heartland basically a lot of people who vote Republican or who don’t vote at all, that’s who you shut up. you’ve disenfranchised millions of voters millions and millions voters. Why? because they can’t figure out what the fuck is going on.

And they see things like them. They see things like Joe Campbell they try watching mad men they see subliminal messages that you’ve had relate to Lem’s because he is such a character in our culture especially in subversive corners, but the gay community is very guilty. We don’t really know him, as well as we pretend to in the gay community, we act like he’s our best friend too but we don’t really know him and there’s a lot of evidence again, I have to say to suggest that he was straight not gay at all and see that’s where you lose people because there are plenty of gay men who have a hard time, excepting that some men are actually heterosexual and repulsed by them. I’ve met plenty of them here in Great Britain. Who’ve been very rude to me over the years, and to be honest at times it’s made me cry because I I am I’ve had it expressed in any times. What a terrible person I am by men who are straight, not homophobic that being said to their credit, I’ve realized that it took some gumption on their part to stand up to another man, and be that honest when things were so not in their favor, that sounds so contrary to what you’d expect me to say it but no, I’ve realized that a good number of them might’ve actually had some good in the heart. Mom and I am sorry that there aren’t more American men who are that honest in that way, but I can tell you that a lot of the men who have been disenfranchised because of this whole debacle with Lem’s are like those men who’ve yelled at me who are straight they resent being told that they don’t exist. They resent being bullied by homosexual men who insist that there’s no such thing as heterosexuality And a lot of those men are very narcissistic and already very annoying to deal with and they’re just angry for very good reason at times

I don’t think you guys get it those people still matter and frankly, I am gay in the same degree I have a husband but I I don’t think I can sympathize with people who insist that he was gay, because red faze quotation suggests he was not in suggest that he was actually bisexual or pansexual or possibly straight, but it doesn’t suggest at the very least that he was gay. I know what those meant if he was straight and I and I honestly think he was if those men if those men who are not likely to be reading this blog or being channeled, by anybody see too many subliminal messages that suggest you people are antagonistic towards them they’re not going to vote they’re not going to participate or they’re going to be contrary because you’re attacking them you’re your obliterating their soul. See they’re straight and they’re white and they’re probably quiet or thoughtful at least sometimes and I don’t I just I don’t get the sense that you’re on good terms with those people.

Call I will be curious to see what happens in this upcoming election because I don’t think they’re going to vote for Bobby. I don’t think they’re going to vote for Biden if they vote at all it’ll probably for the beaver Donald Trump.

Oh, and if there is an illuminati, Lacey is working to get them to the polls to vote for whoever they should vote for do you know that she’s not intentionally doing it but she’s essentially moving them spiritually using your authority to vote for whoever it is if they think they should vote for it I’m warning you it’s probably gonna be Donald Trump. In the last four years, Lacey has fallen down the stairs almost died lost Queen Elizabeth, possibly slightly prematurely watched Queen Elizabeth‘s family come down with what seems like contagious forms of cancer, and now she is battling as she has been for a while probably over a year. At least it’s not be suffocated most likely by one of you and you know who I’m talking about. And I worry that she thinks that her kids could be kidnapped or that there could be some sort of Jewish hate crime against her and her family.

You’re not fighting you’re losing if this is real, you’ve destroyed your country and it’s astounding to think you do that just to avoid being narcissistically wounded in a way that you would have to deal with because I suspect that’s what it is. I suspect a lot of the people in the illuminati right now should exist are horrible Narcissis, and they don’t really have the psychological capability of dealing with this sort of thing. Their immunity is extraordinarily low because they’re mostly just all cater to famous people at this point and so they don’t really understand how to handle this. They’re just wounded for each other, and their wounded for Diego and their wounded for themselves, and they just constantly wounded by her, and yet they refused to really excepted their genuinely wanted, and instead they keep trying to prolong the inevitable crash by attacking her, in ways that are totally in effective as stupid as heck. And now you have me Bing channel does some degree by Ernest Hemingway to warn you all that. Sincerely, Lum was straight up and if I have to be straight someday I will be, but that’s between me and God.

Don’t keep prolonging the inevitable try to find a way to except that a humble North Dakota farm family with roots and education and silverware is potentially more aristocratical than most. If not all of you know, they don’t have a title in England but they’re not who you wanted them to be.” says a man.

“Jackie Fitzgerald Kennedy Vs. Lacey Banks” by an English Aristocrat

The Rush by Bob Moses plays.

Lem! Let’s hear your thoughts. It’s all up to you hotshot.

Lem squirms as Jack Kennedy molests his leg and laughs about it

In one corner sits JFK. And in the other corner sits Lacey Banks.

Let’s compare their performances. See what you like, Lem.

It’s all about you, right? *he winks*

Jack shakes his (drug addicted) constipated, bony-fat ass.

Lacey shakes her pin-up ass like an Egyptian princess.

Who wins this round?

*Jack jumps up and down clapping like a seal in both innocence and incredible evil as he’s not a good person and he’s not a child*

The little boy who died after JP Kennedy kicked him out of his hospital room in a busy hospital to get his already sickly son JFK help says, “Hurry-up, Lem! HURRY-UP!!!!”

“What’s that loser doing here!?” asks JFK, shaking his imaginary breasts. “He’s always bothering me. And I have no idea why.”

“You killed him.” says NBC.

“What!?” says JFK, like an evil valley-girl.

“You killed him.” says NBC.

“Oh. That!? Hmm.

No. Never happened.” says JFK, dancing to Inner Light by Elderbrook & Bob Moses.

Let’s move on. Who won?

Lem: Lacey.

Okay. Don’t lose hope, Jack.

Next up let’s have a competition of the minds.

J. S. Bach’s “Cello Suite Number 1 in G Major” plays.

“What song is this?” I ask.

“That’s J. S. Bach’s Cello Suite.” says JFK, cheerfully.

“That’s Bach. A Cello Suite. I can’t think which one. Sorry.” says Lacey, disturbed that she can’t recall the exact title.

Who wins?

Lem: Lacey.

Oh really!? Wow. What a tough choice that must have been. Why…Jack’s so cheerful and bright and happy. Isn’t that the American ideal? Gee. You surprised me with that one Lemmers.

Alright. This next category is fencing.

Lacey takes a sword and displays her Scottish aristocrat swordsmanship. It’s scary and elegant both.

And at that Lacey recalls being sliced at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Near a set of armor on display. It was a few inches long on her shoulder. She was wearing a pretty sleeveless dress that day. It bled slightly. And she never felt it. Yes, this happened. Really.

“I was flirting.” says a dead knight.

“That’s what I thought.” says Lacey.

He handsome. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t stand this moment. It’s disgusting!!” he says.

Jack looks very offended. Plans his revenge. It’s impossible, however.

And next up we have Jack. Jack…has no idea what he’s doing with a sword. He flails around and drops the sword.

Oh no Jack! You can do better than that.

He shakes the sword around. But he has no cognitive ability to understand what he’s doing, seemingly.

His rhythm is sparse. His understanding of what a sword even is…is minuscule.

Lem: Lacey.

Alright.

Lem…let’s try to give one to Jack.

Jack and Lacey run. Run as fast as you can.

They both do.

Jack wins and cheers himself on. Lacey seems to be losing interest in the entire activity as she gets lost staring at nature. As Lacey almost wanders off, Jack does a dance where he protrudes his penis and pumps his arms. He did run the fastest.

Lem: Lacey.

Jesus had to literally help you answer that one? Why? Because many gay men and the Kennedys insisted the answer was Jack.

Lem. Lacey lost! Wow! You’re surprising me again.

Alright. Let’s move on.

Lacey and Jack. Make dinner.

They do.

Jack makes a clam chowder.

Lacey makes boeuf bourguignon.

Lem: Lacey.

Jesus had to help you respond again that time. Golly. Lots of angry Irish and Asian people are attacking and being subdued by angels.

“YOU SUCK SHIT, LEM!” yells a dead Kennedy.

“Yeah. Diarrhea smells like beef stew. So!” says JFK. “It’s shit. He’s a shit eater! LOSER!”

And next we have a painting contest. Lacey you paint something Cubist. Jack you paint something Realist.

“Oil on canvas?” says Lacey.

Yes!

They both take their time.

Jack. Yours looks like worthless shit. Literally, I wouldn’t pay anything to have that hanging in my house. It appears that the way you painted before when you were famous and alive in the fallen world was based on your retardation not an actual gift. You accidentally mixed the right colors together. You have no actual ability to paint. You’re a hack, at best.

Lacey…that’s…terrifying. It’s a tiny red square. In the upper right hand corner…placed strategically to scare me shitless. I’d never hang that in my house. But I might hang that in a castle. Or a museum. It’s sad nobody has ever really praised your ability to paint, other than the legal mother who molested you. And I know she was being inappropriate when she did it. So you couldn’t really take her seriously anyway.

Lem: Lacey.

Again, Jesus had to help you. And you were yelling over Joe Kennedy Junior.

Alright. Up next is the surgery contest. Without actually sending them through surgery let’s let them both lay in a bed. Jack has pus coming out of his wounds as per usual. And Lacey is silent and still as the grave. Which one is sexier and more lovable to you, your hotass majesty?

A few English women laugh.

Lem: Lacey.

I don’t need to keep repeating that Jesus has to help you scream all these answers now.

My word.

Alright. Let’s see who makes a better pecan pie.

Lem: Lacey.

Wow! That was a particularly difficult one to have answered.

Next up: Who dresses better.

We’ll be back after this.

Know Some by Vandelux plays.

Alright. Lacey is dressed head to toe in Schiaparelli evening wear from the late 1930’s. In a size 8 in 2024 sizes. At 40. Her hair and makeup is done by Elizabeth Arden. And her perfume is Chanel No. 5.

Jack is dressed in…a designer Lacey’s never heard of. But one he wore often. He has his hair slicked back as per usual. In his 40’s in late 1930’s clothes.

I do have to point out that the Kennedys controlled fashion. Because the 1960’s styles flattered Jack Kennedy and the Kennedys alive at that time in general. In late 1930’s clothes…they look…laughable in their 40’s.

“Then let’s put Lacey in 1960’s clothes!!” yells JFK.

The 1930’s weren’t designed for her anyway.

Irate, “FINE!” yells Lacey.

She wears Oscar de la Renta in a strapless silk dress. With drop pearl earrings. Long white gloves. Her perfume is Replique by Raphael. Her makeup is by Coty. Her hair is done by some Latin American man from New York City.

Jack laughs.

“Did Lem date Raul?” says an Englishman.

“He might have. And they didn’t get along well sexually. Because Lem was straight.” says a reader. “But people have lied about that. And believed it was because he was so madly in love with Jack…not because he was just straight.”

Jack changes into a look close to what he wore in the White House.

Lem: Lacey.

That was bloody. Jack didn’t want to lose that one.

Alright. Ahh. Name two jazz musicians.

“Bix Beiderbecke, and ahh…John Coltrane.” says Jack.

Lacey blinks. Thinks. Stares. “Hold on.” She thinks. “Someone is messing with my head. Wow!!! …Fine. Oh well.

My gosh! My head is like…blank. And I know jazz.”

“WHO DID THAT!?!” yells Tom Banks.

The Kennedys take credit.

“King Oliver and His Orchestra and…stop interrupting my brain waves!” yells Lacey.

Jack laughs.

“You don’t do so well without your glory!” yells a demon through a hateful dead half Black man at Lacey.

“What…are you talking about!?” says Lacey.

Awkward silences.

“Fine. My favorite artist since I was a teenager is missing. So this isn’t Alzheimer’s.

Let’s see…Fats Waller.” says Lacey.

Lem:

“THE BLACKS LOVE US!!” yells JFK, triumphantly, interrupting Lem.

Dangerous by Big Data plays as Kick dances in what she believes is victory.

Lem: Lacey.

“WHY!??” yells Jack. He pushes Lem or tries to.

“You had help with the last one. And your answers are obvious and annoying.” says Lem.

“I can’t help if I have better tastes than you and Lacey!!” yells JFK, indignantly.

And that brings me to my last question. Who has better tastes.

Jack what did you find attractive about Lem?

“His naked body.

His butt. When he bent over it looked like a sexy woman. Like a fat, sexy woman. Like Mae West. But he was a man. So…I thought it was kinda cool. Like…he was a man…but…also a fat, sexy old woman.” says Jack honestly.

Gooey by Glass Animals plays.

Lacey what did you find attractive?

“His eyes. And his body. Of course. And his personality.” says Lacey. “I suppose his soul, really.”

Lacey. All at the same time. At first?

“Yes!” says Lacey.

Lem: Lacey.

“Are you sure?” says Lacey.

Let’s have you repeat that.

Lem: Lacey.

“Yeah. I’m hearing people yelling that and Lem. Lem isn’t even an answer. …I want a real answer.” says Lacey.

Lem:

“Lacey!!” yells Satan.

Lem:

“Lacey.” says a queer woman.

Lem:

“You’re a LESBIAN!!” a herd of violent lesbians yell at Lacey.

Lem: Lacey!

Lacey checks with God. Yes, that’s Lem. But Jack and the Kennedys have messed with her head so much she has a hard time hearing him.

Later after Lacey has a literal quick discussion about the Holocaust with her daughter. And her daughter says, “Why isn’t dad able to be in the Holocaust?” and Lacey says, “He’s too genetically young.” and her daughter says, “It’s not now? Right?” and Lacey says, “No. I’d have fought.”

Joe decides to sing a song he had planned for this moment despite what Edith yells at him. It’s Break My Baby by KALEO.

“Lacey. We’d be sending Scotia the British Royal Family through the Holocaust.” says Nazi Germany.

“And Saint Augustine.” says Mark. “If there’s reincarnation.”

“Mark. Your mother was Catholic.” says Nazi Germany.

“You made no exceptions for that.” says Lacey.

“Not true. We did occasionally.” says Nazi Germany.

“But Lacey is Jewish.” says Joe Kennedy.

“What the fuck are you talking about?!?” yells Nazi Germany.

“Isn’t she Jewish. She’s have to be to be so hateful!” says a hateful reader.

“How is she being hateful?” asks Lem.

“I’m gonna torture you every chance I can get.” says the demon who works with the Kennedys.

Lacey rebukes the demon into Hell in Jesus’s name.

Well! We’re almost done. Let’s do the final competitions on a new post.