Author Archives: L.

We Are The World by U. S. A. for Africa plays.

“What you doing Africa?” asks Scotia.

“We are the world. We are the children. We are the ones who make a better day for just me.” says MSNBC.

“We are the ones! So start giving!” says another hateful liberal.

Warning by The Notorious B. I. G. plays at Lacey’s request.

“Whatchu you doing in my hood?” Lacey asks them.

“Nothing!” says Bobby.

“I doubt.” says Lacey. She smashes them with her hand.

Trump wins in 2016.

“Why you like me?” asks Trump laughing.

“You stay put. You don’t harass me.” says Lem.

“Whatchu doing in Africa?” asks Lacey.

She grabs them all by their necks.

“They’re dead. But…why y’all in Africa?” asks Lacey.

Bow Down by Westside Connection plays.

She starts dancing like an Egyptian.

“Yup!” says Mark Schiebel.

“Lem. Lacey is like that?” asks the CIA.

“Yes.” says Lem.

Drop It Like It’s Hot by Snoop Dogg plays.

“I get hot for him. Can you blame me? Why you gotta hate?” asks Lacey of all gay men about Lem.

“We aren’t listening.” they say.

“Where are you?” asks Lacey.

“Where does it seem like we are?” they ask.

“Trying to watch the whole world with your backs turned. I feel like you’re…barely involved.” says Lacey.

“You really are a genius ditz.” says a gay man.

“ do you know I don’t think I wanna waive the gay flag anymore because you’re being really graphic but I feel like you’re doing it for the purpose of heaven which cracks me up because you’re using our language to try to explain yourself and you’re throwing our crassness right back in our face and it’s hilarious and classy and sassy and impossible and I’m a little overwhelmed so you really don’t quit being this person this is just who you are and I don’t want to understand that can I write a post?” says a living gay man.

Kick In The Door by The Notorious B. I. G. plays.

And at that Marsie cries. Maybe she actually has a small heart that’s real.

“Would you have sold your son?” Athalia asks Marsie.

“NO!!” says Marsie.

“Yeah.” says Athalia smiling. “I’m sorry.”

“Mom. I’m dead!

Her feelings matter. And I can’t respect the way you’ve acted.” says her son.

“Are we in a fight?” asks Marsie, smiling.

“Not if you have a real conscience, mom!” says her son.

“Can I just say Lacey is a real psychic so if you read this blog and you’re taking this seriously and not just as art be fucking careful because you’ll find out that it’s real and it’s not just cute and pretty pictures in a book.” says a cancer victim.

“Yeah.

So…it’s not a choice?” asks Dr. Moritz.

“NO.” says Saint Augustine. “Not really.”

“What is it?” asks a reader.

“It’s her literal physical brain.” says a dead gay man. “And the sad truth is…it’s not the same as us. But…it’s holier and far sadder.”

“Why!?” asks a living gay man.

“Because it’s her BRAIN.” says a dead gay man.

“It’s a creepy brain.” says an Asmat.

“Why?” asks a neuroscientist.

“It appears swollen. But congenitally. She’s not disabled. But…somehow it’s just slightly…too big everywhere. It’s not unpretty or stupid. But…it can produce schizophrenia. Or Bipolar Disorder. Or depression or anxiety. Or something.

We wouldn’t eat it. It’s…scary.

We’d be terrified to even have it.

But we were afraid of the supernatural.

It’s like a dangerous talisman.

And as she’s the spirit in possession of it…it’s classy. But…not everyone would rock that. But that’s her.

So…it’s like a crystal ball in The Wizard of Oz.” says an Asmat.

“We’d not notice.” says America.

“Yeah. We eat brains. We know…brains.” say the Asmats.

“Was that a Sex And the City joke?” asks Marsie.

“YES!” says the Asmat, laughing.

The song plays.

“I was killed in Saint Augustine.” says Athalia.

“That’s a sex joke.” says Joe Kennedy Junior experiencing an involuntary acid high that’s nasty. It’s his reward for Cillisn. He’s terrified.

“What are we doing!?” Marsie asks the Illuminati, like a mom.

They look up at her.

“We’re going for God?” says Chris Hayes, shrugging.

“To attack him?” asks Casi.

“Yeah. But not quite.” says a tech guy.

“Then what is it?” asks Casi.

They think.

Jinx laughs. “Don’t get jinxed, Joe. Oops. You already were.”