Category Archives: Journal

Worrying they got it wrong, Casi and Matt are placed on the podium again.

This time we try “O Fortuna” by Elgar.

They stand together.

“IN THE NAME OF CAMBRIDGE…CLAIM YOUR CROWN!” says Lacey.

1:50

The song plays.

They just stand in silence. Looking nervous.

“Wrong song?” says Lacey.

She plays “Thriller” by Micheal Jackson.

Casi dances. Legs together. Shaking her butt. Looking awkward. In heels. Face looking dumb. Arms…moving like a marching man.

“She’s doing her best.” says Tutankhamen.

Matt tries to walk away.

“Let’s try another one.” says Lem.

Listen to “I’ve Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts” as performed by Freddy Martin.

“Okay! I need to trust God? says Matt.

*he tries to grab the phone from Lacey in the future, in his spirit*

Lem laughs.

So does Lacey.

“I don’t give away my phone!” says Lacey.

He tries to grab it.

“I’ve knocked it out of her hands. A few times. But it’s not easy.” says Tutankhamen.

Listen to “Symphony” as performed by Freddy Martin.

God has a talk with Matt.

“Where are those gay men!?” yells Lacey.

“We got dressed and left the scene.” says one of them.

Casi stands waiting.

“I’m NOT FEELING HAPPY!” Matt yells at God.

“I know.” says God with real love. “I’m genuinely trying to talk.

Look, there’s a hopeful reason why Tutankhamen and Lacey said death was an option. It’s not an attack.

And they don’t mean suicide. They just mean…taking one day at a time-“

“Fine! But I’m an Englishman.” says Matt.

God cries. “I KNOW!” he says.

“I’m sorry. They’re not hearing anything more right now.

They’re very under attack.

But essentially, they’re saying you’ve already won. Regardless. There will ALWAYS be an England.” says God.

“Even in death.” says Matt.

“It’s better than that. Jesus conquered death. And as a Christian nation…dedicated by many…long ago…who ruled…wisely…in that…in death…you can be…ENGLISH. Always.” says God.

“So killing us…is dangerous?” says Matt.

“EXTREMELY.” says God.

“I leaned that the hard way.” says Hitler.

Queen Elizabeth II *smiles* “God likes to honor covenants. So did I. So does Lacey.” says Queen Elizabeth II.

“I do. Believe it or not.” says Lacey. “I’m not Jack Kennedy. At all.”

“What if you couldn’t see Lem?” says Matt.

“I can’t tell if you hate me or…what.” says Lacey.

“You can’t be mysterious with someone like her.” says Matt Nesheim. “And if you’re not sincere, it seriously bites you in the ass.”

“Maybe not at first, but eventually.” says Lacey.

Listen to “New York, New York” as performed by Frank Sinatra & Tony Bennett.

Casi is covered in a silver sequin dress. Standing atop of a large podium. Surrounded by dancing men. They’re all gay? Mostly.

They wear top hats and ties and sequin cummerbunds.

Spotlights highlight her.

She tries to sing. She can’t. She’s not actually a very good singer.

That’s okay. Frank and Tony have it.

A rather large woman, she tries to gracefully prance down the stairs to her right, and still look entertaining. She feels awkward and visibly embarrassed. But being Casi she tries to stay calm and collected and look in control.

1:53

“SHUT-UP” she yells at a group of Italian women who immigrated to the U.S. in the 1800’s.

They keep making fun of her.

They won’t stop.

2:52

“SHUT-UP!!” she yells at them.

They throw things at her.

3:19

The song ends.

God: She’s been using British kindness against everyone. Her own people want to speak with her.

Listen to “You Make Me Feel So Young” as performed by Frank Sinatra plays.

Casi believes she’s made peace with the other 1800’s Italian women.

She hasn’t. They fooled her.

Grinning, she falls. Wearing high heels. But she catches herself. One leg sprawled out. Gripping the stairs, like she’s giving it a hug.

The other 1800’s women of Italy, laugh at her.

“YOU CUNT! YOU’D HAVE DIED HERE!” they yell at her.

“Fine.” says Casi.

“Nah! You bitch! You think we’re joking!?” says one of them.

“Yeah. How are we your friend!?

Lacey is right.

Why do you automatically assume we want to be your friend!?” yells another one of them.

Casi can’t find an explanation.

“I’ll tell you why! YOU are the stupidest snob ever!” yells a third Italian woman from the 1800’s.

Casi cries, because it could be true.

“I’m poor now! You can’t say that to me!” says Virginia.

“What do you know about working in New York City!? In a coal mine!” says one of the women.

“You never had to work that hard!” says Casi, VERY stupidly.

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?” yells one of the women.

“I mean, okay?” says Casi, rolling her eyes. “You all work hard.”

“WE DIED THERE!! OFTEN!!” yells one of the young Italian women who died.

“WHERE WERE YOU, YOU UGLY CUNT…WHILE I WAS BEING STRANGLED!? TO MAKE A SHIRT!?” yells one of the Italian immigrants of the 1800’s.

Listen to “I’ve Got You Under My Skin” as performed by Frank Sinatra.

Casi rolls her eyes and tries to prance off in her heels. Heavy-set.

One of the women grabs her sequin dress. It rips off, revealing Casi’s old granny underwear.

“Really!?” says Lacey.

1:38

“She apparently wears granny panties.” says a dead Italian man.

2:11

“Convenient. She’d be in trouble if she wasn’t.” says Lacey.

Casi stumbles off, wearing her granny panties and a sequin shirt. And heels.

The song ends.