Who is Wobbly? There’s a debate on that.
Who is Mr. Blue? It’s…questionable.
The Bat Crew? Also questionable.
But regardless…Wobbly and The Bat Crew…had sex…with chocolate. No, not black people. Actual chocolate. Dove Hearts, to be exact.
But like many things in their lives…it had nothing to do with the chocolate. It could have been Tide Pods, except then they’d be dead. No. Don’t blame the Dove Hearts.
Mr. Blue at 6 ft. gets out of his Mercedes and struts into his office. He chews gum. What’s going down?
“I don’t have sex with gum!” says Mr. Blue, indignantly.
“Why not?” asks Lem with genuine curiosity.
“You’re an idiot!” spits Mr. Blue at Lem.
“Wow! So gum really turns you on, huh?” asks Lem.
“No! I’m not saying that. I’m just saying that it’s an oral fixation.” says Mr. Blue flirting with Lem, desperately hoping he’s gay.
“Huh?” says Lem.
“Like, an oral fixation.” says Mr. Blue.
“What?” asks Lem.
“I’m obviously not making sense to you, today.” laughs Mr. Blue flirtatiously.
“No! No, man. You just…haven’t explained. What’s an oral fixation?” asks Lem.
“Well Lem…an oral fixation…is when you become fixated on-It’s when you become-It’s when you become fixated…Like you know what fixated means? Right?” asks Mr. Blue.
“Yes. What’s an oral fixation?” asks Lem.
“It’s when you become fixated on your oral sensations. Like gum!” says Mr. Blue holding the gum between his fingertips for show.
“Huh. And why are you fixated?” asks Lem.
Mr. Blue reaches his office and struts in. Laying his bag by his lovely, dark wooden desk. He overlooks the city…like Bat Man, hence why Batgirl III first called him that in 2016.
I Appear Missing by Queens of the Stone Age plays.
If you go to Mr. Blue’s house…you’ll find…stacks of gum. Chocolate is more Wobbly’s “conduit” of choice.
“Conduit? What’s a conduit?” asks Betty Grable.
“A means of achieving some aim.” says Elliott Roosevelt.
“What’s their aim?” asks Betty.
“Sex with children or each other.” says Elliott Roosevelt.
“It’s impossible to have sex with children.” says Betty.
“I know. But they think if you molest them it’s sex.” says Elliott.
“So…they really think that’s sex nowadays?!” says Betty.
Mr. Blue gets out a Bowflex and works on his abs. He wants to look good naked.
“Yeah. They do.” says Elliott.
“But it’s not. That’s genuinely impossible. They’re just brainwashing children.” says Betty.
“They’re brainwashed too.” says Elliott.
Mr. Blue does exercises in front of his window overlooking the city. …Shirtless.
Bat Girl III walks by. She looks in his office. the door is open. Theoretically anyone could watch.
“Hey!” says Batgirl or Bat Girl III.
He dramatically turns around and with dark fervor makes eye-contact with her. They mutually light up each other’s faces.
“Hey!” he says laughing.
“Umm…hey?” she says tucking hair behind her ear sheepishly.
“Hey!” he says.
“Hi!” she says, grinning.
Silence.
“Hey!” she says.
“Hey.” he says.
He sits down behind his desk. Leans back in his chair. It rolls backward a little by accident. He moves it forward like it’s cool to be awkward.
“So, yeah.” she says acting shy.
“Uhuh!” he says.
“Wow!” she says.
He laughs.
“Why did you cry?” he then asks suddenly. Inquisitively.
“Because I’m ashamed by my life!” she says, tears filling her eyes again.
“I know.” he says. “Me too.”
They think.
“I’m not worried about Hell.” she says. She laughs.
“Yeah! We have it all figured out.” he says proudly.
“It’s scientifically impossible for their to be an afterlife.” she says with absolute certainty.
“Yeah. I know. I learned that at Harvard.” he says with absolute certainty.
“I went to Yale!” she says seductively.
“Yeah?” he asks seductively.
“Yeah!” she says seductively.
“Cool. I can do that.” he says, like a cool cocky bastard.
“Yeah. I worked really hard.” she says.
“Hard?!” he asks, suggestively.
“So hard!” she says.
He giggles. Stares at his screen. Scrolls through stuff. Looks confused.
“So are we going to drop the second piece?” she asks.
“Yeah. They hate when I do that. But they need me to remind the public of our responsibility to protect them from harm.” he says.
“Oh! Liability issues?” she asks, impressed.
“Yup!” he says laughing.
“I wish I’d just become a lawyer.” she says.
“Me too!” he says.
They sit in silence.
“Hey you’re chewing gum.” she says.
“Yeah!” he says laughing again.
“Why not chocolate?” she asks.
“Huh?” he asks stupidly.
She flinches. A look of sheer panic and deep pain fills her face and moves tiny muscles in various directions of angst and terror.
“Why?! There’s chocolates right over there?” she asks, holding back tears. Then she decides to play it cool.
“Umm…we ate chocolate last night. Why would we eat it again today?” he asks, staring at his screen.
“Because…we…do that now.” she says in a rage.
He looks upset. Guilty.
Stay by Rihanna plays.
“Can I see you tonight?” she asks, casually.
“I have a pedophilic meeting. But then? Yeah.” he says telepathically.
“Cool!” she says aloud.
“Yeah!” he says.
“Yeah.” she says bashfully.
“Let’s fuck!” she says suddenly flashing her breasts.
He plays with her breasts awkwardly. Then he pushes her backward on his sofa before getting up to go grab chocolate. He takes one out and eats it. She eats one. They mindlessly stare at each other momentarily.
Then feeling awkward Batgirl III pretends to be having lesbian sex with her chocolate. She swishes it around in her mouth, randomly sticks her tongue out. She looks idiotic but she imagines it’s sexy.
“What if we’ve ruined sex?” Mr. Blue asks.
“No! This is sex.” she says confidently.
He stands up and farts.
“Damn, boy! You bad!” she says.
She grabs a diaper from a box near his desk and gets naked, putting on the diaper. She hops around his office to Rihanna’s Stay shaking her naked breasts. They awkwardly flop around like balls of fat or petroleum sacks attached to her chest.
She bends forward over a chair. Holding it with both of her hands.
“Damn! I need chocolate!” she says.
He unwraps a piece of Dove Hearts chocolate and gives it to her. She eats it like she’s desperate.
He loses interest. Sits down and farts.
“Yummy!” she says. “I could eat that shit for breakfast every morning!”
He smells it. Analyzes it.
“Hey you two! Damn! This is hot!” says a famous actress who happened to be walking by.
“Yeah! We are in love.” he says very seriously.
“Cool! Love is tricky man.” she says with sage compassion, as if she’s a wiser, older sister.
“She wants to eat my farts!” he says.
“Man! I can smell it too.” says the actress.
“You know what I’m thinking?” asks Batgirl III.
Karma by Taylor Swift plays.
“What?!” asks Mr. Blue leaning over her seductively on the sofa.
The actress stands there drooling. She has nothing to think or say that matters at all at that moment. So she just stands there and…being indulged by the Illuminati to think she’s an actual goddess she has begun to literally drool in those moments.
“Let’s…eat your shit.” whispers Batgirl III seductively.
He looks repulsed. He backs up. Looks awkward.
“I’m not sure I’m ready for that.” he says.
Batgirl III looks sad. Hurt.
She stands up, gets dressed. And then, crying, walks out of his office.
“Oh no! What’s wrong?!?” one of her coworkers asks her in the hallway.
“Was that really necessary?” asks the actress, now having something human to say.
“Yeah! She’s been super invasive lately.” says Mr. Blue. He motions to the bag of chocolate. He farts accidentally. “Oh! Excuse me. I’m so horny today.”
“Dude! Not cool.” says the actress.
“It’s just my ass.” he says.
“Dude! Stop!” she says, offended.
“What?! I am a man!” he says laughing.
She looks aghast. “You’re a pig!”
“You like it too!” he says.
Silence.
“Admit it!” he says.
“Okay. I kind of like it.” she admits, sheepishly.
“Yeah! I know.” he says. He stands up. Farts in her face.
Anti-Hero plays on his computer. Surround sound. Hi definition. Big time…shit.
The actress farts too.
An actor walks by…casually darts in to fart quickly. He’s secretly always wanted to be a part of a threesome. He giggles as he walks away, feeling very superior for having an open marriage. His partner Dick won’t care. They’re allowed to “have fun.” He can barely contain his excitement about his chill cool vibe as he sits behind his desk.
“Damn! Your fart smells like cheese.” says the actress.
Mr. Blue looks egotistical about it. He smells it. “I smell…plastic.” he says arrogantly.
“Whatever. Asshole.” says the actress. She gets up and walks out, genuinely hurt.
Palladio by Karl Jenkins plays for us.
By noon…Mrs. Blue arrives at her husband’s office. She marches down the hallway wearing a shirtwaist dress in plaid. Her hair in a bun. Sparse makeup. Pearl necklace around her neck. Silk cardigan around her shoulders. Kitten heels. She wears Chanel No. 22 parfum from a vintage bottle from 1950.
Wearing a huge fake smile, “Hey honey!” she says to Mr. Blue.
She sits a chocolate cake on his desk and then sits admiring him. Sitting there…she suddenly looks insane. She has a seizure. Grand mal.
Mr. Blue casually looks over at her for a moment and then burps. Takes off his shirt again and does more exercises on his Bowflex after snorting cocaine. He stares at his own reflection in the window examining his body in grave detail as much as is possible in a window reflection. Meanwhile Mrs. Blue continues her deadly seizure. She struggles for air.
Wobbly walks in. He stands and stupidly stares at Mrs. Blue trying to figure out what she’s doing for a few minutes.
Paradise Circus by Massive Attack plays.
“Oh! You’re having a party? In your pants. I smell shit! Hot shit!” says Wobbly seductively. He goes and examines Mrs. Blue’s underwear. He finds poop.
“I’m married.” he says smugly. He scoffs before walking over to Mr. Blue.
They have what looks to be “hot” gay sex. Fully naked. On his desk.
Mrs. Blue passes out. Unconscious she lays on her husband’s sofa. She drools.
Once both men have orgasmed they spoon on the ground. It smells like plastic. They find that…concerning.
Mrs. Blue wakes.
“Oh hi!” she says, grinning.
“Hey! Why aren’t you dead?” asks Wobbly in irritation.
“Because I’m not?” she says.
“But I poisoned you!” says Wobbly in irritation.
“I think I just had a seizure?” she says apologetically.
“Oh! That’s what that was?” says Wobbly.
“Yeah! It was, I think. I think that was a seizure?” she says.
He imitates her movements. “Yeah. I’m psychically reading this as a seizure based on my spirit guides. That’s what they’re telling me.” he says, jovially.
“Okay! Then it was a seizure.” says Mrs. Blue placidly in absolute acceptance.
“You’re supposed to be dead! What a joke.” says Wobbly.
“Honey, apologies! I’m embarrassed.” says Mr. Blue sincerely crying.
“Yeah! You useless piece of shit! Apologize!!!” yells Wobbly. He pulls out a handgun from Mr. Blue’s desk drawer and shoots Mrs. Blue in the foot.
Bleeding Mrs. Blue still manages to pick-up a vase and throw it on Wobbly’s head, rendering him unconscious. In heels they’re the same height. So she could just reach up and defend herself. Easy.
Laying on the ground Wobbly…drools.
Mr. Blue unwraps five pieces of chocolate, not realizing Wobbly is unconscious. He shoves them in Wobbly’s mouth.
“Honey, he’ll choke on those.” says Mrs. Blue in a panic.
“What?!? You suck!” yells Mr. Blue before, high, punching her in her head. She becomes unconscious too, of course.
Laying on the ground, “Eww!! Eww! Eww! Why did you do this to me! I have so much work to do today! You hangers-on! I hate your guts! Go die!!! I hate you! I hate you!” he yells. Then he stands up and walks over them.
“Aww! What’s wrong?” asks a Boomer woman as he stands there scowling.
“They…are…using me.” says Mr. Blue flexing his buff arms.
“Oh honey. That’s just an Apple.” says the Boomer woman grinning. She giggles.
Mr. Blue is creeped out by this. He blinks. “I’m sorry. What?”
The Boomer woman laughs and slowly backs away. Then she walks forward. Staring blankly. Then she dances silently around the room. Then she pauses, stares…and then silently leaves…still staring.
Mr. Blue…feels…terrified.
What did his psychic trainer in the Illuminati tell him? That’s right. He told him to, “You like getting high? Right!?! Right!? That’s cool? …That’s cool. Satan protects you. Every time. …Really. …So…whenever you’re scared just go get high. It’ll work like magic. Because…it is magic. It’s the highest form of magic. It’s the magic we create with our minds.”
Mr. Blue smiles. He walks back to his office. Steps over the bodies. Gets high. Smiles. Goes back to work.
An ant hill sized pile of cocaine rests on Mr. Blue’s desk next to his computer. He plans to use that periodically until he finishes his job. “The war…of…work!” he says triumphantly with a smirk.
By 5:40 Batgirl III walks in wearing nothing but a diaper. And Chanel No. 22. Vintage from the 1920’s!
Wobbly stands up at the noise.
“Cool! We’re totally doing this tomorrow!” he says cheerfully. “You guys love me more than God!” He then suddenly weeps and then collapses on the ground. He vomits. Then he stand up and walks out of the office in downtown New York City… … …vomiting. Buckets.
He vomits on chairs. On people’s heads. On their desks. On their clothes. On the floor.
Then he pauses, grabs a notepad and a pen off a woman’s desk…and signs his signature in cursive. “There…you…go!” he says smiling flirtatiously.
The woman notices his height. And his disheveled hair. It’s…almost genuinely gross looking. She smells his vomit. Looks at his hair. Wonders if he’s going to leave or if she should just strangle him to death to make him disappear. A sharp pen looks intriguing. She hates his eyes…
“You’re a smug bastard.” she says homicidally.
Scared but unwilling to acknowledge that to himself he says, “My father was a big deal. Guess who he was!”
The woman’s mind wanders off. She stares around the room. She thinks.
“Oh! I know!” she says. She suddenly finds him attractive…almost solely based on sexually arousing photos she’s seen of his father and other men in his family.
Colorblind plays.
Feeling sorry for him and aroused by his father, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
He smiles sympathetically at her. “I love your vagina. Let’s go fuck!”
She decides it’s cool. “Okay?”
“I have a rented room. Let’s go!” he says. He grabs her hand and escorts her to Mr. Blue’s office.
At Mr. Blue’s office he stands there and then remembers suddenly that vaginal intercourse isn’t cool anymore. He vomits.
The song plays.
He vomits again.
Mrs. Blue vomits.
“I’m having so much fun with this as a Satanist!” says Mr. Blue.
“I love you!” yells his wife while vomiting. “I love you, my Mr. Blue!”
“And I love you, honey!” says Wobbly from the absolute bottom of his heart. He suddenly starts weeping uncontrollably.
“We’ll work it out! We always do!” says Wobbly sincerely.
She looks confused. “Oh! Telepahy! Because you’re choosing to channel…my dead husband.” says Mrs. Blue. Then she vomits.
“Come here!” he says.
They hug. They rock back and forth holding each other.
“Do you get hard?” asks Mrs. Blue.
“No. Not from almost anything.” says Wobbly.
“Just like Mr. Blue.” says Mrs. Blue.
“Yeah. Torturing people still arouses me. Otherwise I have to try really hard to get hard.” says Wobbly.
“That’s because you’re a green machine.” she says.
“Yeah. That’s what my wife says.” he admits.
“I’ll feed you… Brussels sprouts. And we will use turquoise to bless them.” says Mrs. Blue.
“You want vaginal sex?!?” scoffs Wobbly.
“Yeah!” she bravely admits.
“I don’t know. I don’t have a vagina.” he says hostilely.
“We can share mine! I’m not possessive.” she says.
“I hate you!” he says before vomiting again.
“Then we won’t! I’m not a rapist.” she says.
“Thank God! You were starting to scare me.” he says before passing out.
“I’m hungry! Almost hangry.” says Mr. Blue raising his arms in the air, yawning.
“Let’s go to George’s.” says a woman.
“Cool!” says Mr. Blue.
“George’s?” asks Mrs. Blue.
“Yeah! Why not?” asks the woman.
“His poop smells like vitamins when we eat there and we’re trying to save our marriage.” says Mrs. Blue.
“And I sincerely applaud you!” says the woman.
“No!!! No!!!” yells a ghost.
“What’s that?” asks the woman from her desk.
“What?!?” asks Mr. Blue.
Everyone gets dressed.
“I am not responsible for all of this!” yells Joe Kennedy Jr..
“Am I in Hell, Lord?!?” wails Lem Billings.
Colorblind by Counting Crows plays.
“What’s that? It sounds like actual disembodied voices!” says the woman who had vomit on her desk.
“It’s the wind.” says Mr. Blue.
“No! He just farted.” says Mrs. Blue trying not to cry.
“Yeah.” says the woman. She willingly chooses to be dumb.
As dumb as they all are…are they all choosing to be stupid or are they really just profoundly genuinely dumb people? Do you know? It’s a mystery to Lacey. They seem…subhuman, honestly. It’s genuinely Hellish to her. Do you understand the concept expressed in that last sentence? And if not…by choice or nature?
“You’re not communicating well!” says a woman sincerely to Lacey. “You’re an idiot.”
“You think I’m objectively stupid?” asks Lacey.
The woman looks baffled and deeply enraged.
Lacey has to rely on her psychic abilities as always to survive. She’s had no other clear choice her whole life.
“So…you hate me for what reason?” asks Lacey.
“I don’t want you to be here!” the woman says. “Stop drop and roll! Talk to the hand! Take that! You don’t have a clue!” she shouts.
“Yeah! That’s my point! Bro…that’s my beat!” shouts JFK.
What’s The Difference plays.
“Gee! Do you think she’s Lem’s soulmate!?” says a Boomer mocking Lacey.
They shake their asses farting to send off signs of dominant life within them. In expensive Italian pants.
“So I love JFK! He totally has such a sense of humor. That shot at the end was…a joke? Like…a self-aware joke?” asks a Millennial woman.
“No. What shot?” asks JFK sincerely unaware.
“Listen!” says the Millennial.
“Oh! So what?!?” says JFK. He dances, awkwardly trying to look sexy but failing. Because he’s not a sexy dancer. He’s just not. He looks idiotic. He’s a total loser who lies…really well. Common enough.
“Poor thing.” says the Queen Mother with real love for him. “He’s so poor too though. They’re all such absolute peasants who don’t have a bloody clue.”
“Maybe basing an entire country on black slavery was a losing battle plan.” says King George empathetically.
“Short-term it seemed glorious.” observes Lacey.
“But they’re not the British Empire.” says the Queen Mother.
“No. But they don’t really cognitively know that.” says the Queen Mother.
“Really?” asks Lacey.
“No. They…don’t.” she says.
“If there’s reincarnation, why am I here?!?” says Lacey feeling miserable.
“It’s a Hellish country now either way.” she says.
“Not as bad as living in a Muslim country. But…yes. It’s not England.” says Lacey.
“England will never be Muslim. No matter what.” she says. “Nor Jewish.”
“Nor Jainist, or Buddhist, or Hindu.” says Lacey.
“It will never be anything but Christian.” says the Queen Mother. “Or it will simply no longer exist.”
“Same for Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland!” yells Lacey. She cuts all the rocks in Stonehenge apart with a sword like a knife cutting through softened, delicious butter.
Then Lacey commands all insects to bow before Christ in submission to the cross. If they can.
Then all living animal creatures. If they can.
Then all grass and trees. If they can.
“Very good!!” she says cheerfully.
Then all the Earth…if possible.
The Earth screams…bloody murder…at the top of its lungs. Excruciatingly loudly. And of course Jesus Christ hears. Because He can hear.
They took God out of everything. In the Illuminati. Starting in the 1960’s. And they’re still violently paranoid you’ll figure it out.
“Of course, you ended up using drugs and hating yourself. It was an evitable. You were aiding and abetting the enemy of your soul. If you were straight, I have absolutely no idea why you ever made love to Jack, or even tried to if you couldn’t. It was deranged, at best.” says Lacey to Lem. “Truly, a large part of the reason why I still struggle with what you did if you were straight is because it makes no sense. I know it’s very possible. I actually get the psychology enough to think it’s possible. I just can’t imagine why you would ever be that disgusting. That’s so disgusting.”
“Well the Illuminati is trusting and hoping that you’ll die because they are, and while Wobbly is listening to our every word trying to control us aided and abetted by the CIA that he rails against trying to control and fool American people who he has absolutely no consideration or respect for at all…I would like to apologize because I can hear how dumb he sounds. I can hear it too if that’s someone being him or it an entity is channeling him to pretend that there’s an Illuminati or if that’s actually him. And he has no idea how stupid he sounds. If he did he’d probably just go kill himself or rarely ever be sober…because it’s disgusting to have to listen to him speak. That’s how dumb he sounds. I hear it too.” says Lem.
“If I was him, I would rarely ever say anything I would be too embarrassed. It’s like smelling a fart of the worst sort from somebody else constantly when he speaks. He’s the most disgusting person, bless his sweet heart, that I have ever encountered of his variety because he’s so stubborn and egotistical and that’s rare for someone that dumb to be that full of themselves at the same time.” says Lacey.
“He doesn’t know he’s dumb because he tested well potentially or some stupid nonsense like that. I might’ve even told him he was smart and you know that if I know that’s not true and I wasn’t gay or a pedophile that that was an incredibly vicious thing to do to him.” says Lem.
“He was just a kid. Why couldn’t you have just somehow walked away?” asks Lacey.
“Not easily really not easily if I knew things that I wasn’t supposed to know, and it made them nervous for me to walk away, and I knew that. If you had been there and I had made you pregnant of course we would’ve just walked away I wouldn’t have had a choice, but I didn’t have a reason to. Because it would require possibly have required killing people or telling state secrets to foreign powers and I didn’t feel comfortable doing that for just myself. I knew some rather dangerous stuff, and I may have had to be rather brave if I met you.” says Lem. “I didn’t mean to be disgusting. It’s very hard for you to hear, but I didn’t realize that you would find me that attractive. I really don’t know how you could fall in love with me. I know that’s not something you think is possible, but I really wouldn’t have imagined you falling in love with me or even existing and I was trying to live my best life. If I knew you existed, I might not have if I knew this conversation was going to happen. I would’ve thought about killing myself. It would’ve been very hard to convince me that I shouldn’t. Jack would’ve died young. I wouldn’t have raised a finger to help him, if I knew you could love me. No, I mean…I would’ve probably just spent most of my life in prayer. …I’m actually capable of being that humble before God and I’m sorry that you don’t know that because that’s something else that’s not obvious and it should be. I seem like a buffoon. But you really are far more beautiful than you realize and there would’ve been a lot of competition but if if you really actually love me that much and could have there wouldn’t have been a lot that I would’ve been afraid of other than someone harming you and our kids and me not being there. Kind of like right now in a way.” he says.
“As a gay man who likes to think I have somewhat of a brain – out of respect for Lacey and her clear mind I would like her to know that I am currently sitting outside on my veranda on a beautiful summer day, drinking a really good pot of earl gray from a silver tea pot. Sterling silver! And yes it’s a mug actually that I’m drinking from, but I did get out my grandmother’s sterling silver tea pot and I am enjoying being old money and rich – because someone should enjoy this beauty and respectfully, who is alive! So let’s hope that I exist.
…I would just like to say if that’s actually Lem…you put her through unnecessary torture because what I hear in that is that even if he’s bisexual, he’s more in love with Lacey than he ever was with Jack. …I’m sorry it’s a painful thing to have to say…but I think it needs to be said out of respect for being an adult and reality.” says a man who hopefully exists outside of the UK.
Lacey relaxes some.
“And if I don’t exist out of the UK there’s a damn good reason she’s angry! …America two words: grow up! If he was bisexual, and is, I do not sense, if that’s Lem that his love, for Jack reached the same level of meaning and intimacy and value of love as what he feels for Lacey.” He sips his tea. “No, we’re going to have an honest conversation! No, let’s have one! …I don’t see why we keep having to beat a dead horse. It’s getting very costly and very tiring for all of the world if this is a real conversation.” He sighs in both frustration and some contentment.
Casi cries. “You know two things: if this is going to sound bi-phobic and homophobic, but if Lem was British and Lacey is British, I don’t think it’s fair to assume that he was gay. Don’t take that the wrong way. I’m just being real with you OK? I think a British man has to be very gay for it to be obvious that he is totally gay. And whether that means that he was reincarnated or if he was just British origin, I still think it counts because America doesn’t have one origin in that way, that’s not how this country works. So, unless if he clearly was gay, and that does not seem to be what people who were there have said, literally, you guys need to grow-up in that way, intellectually. I can be immature, but even I know that when someone says someone’s ‘neutral’ and ‘not outright gay’ it literally probably means what they literally mean. Bisexual.
He doesn’t seem flaming to me in how he dresses and how he speaks is effeminate, but I feel like there is something weird about it where it’s not 100% convincing. I’m sorry, I’m just being honest. Sometimes I think bisexual men could try to pretend to seen more gay or straight than they are. I’ve done that myself which is where I was going with this conversation.
There are times I have tried to seem more lesbian if I’m with a woman and then there are times I have tried to seem straight if I’m with a guy and it’s just to appeal to your partner. But who am I really…that’s a very scary, confusing thing for me as a bisexual because that’s what I am. I am bisexual. I possibly never said that in an honest way most of my life. So there’s times where I’ve tried to seem more like straight because I actually have fallen in love with men and I like them OK?! …I am attracted to men! I like men! I married a man. I like men. Which, is why I always thought it was straight.
But by the same token, there are times I have gone after women. I have been interested in women and it’s not like a dramatic shift, but I have done things occasionally in my voice, or my mannerisms just to seem appealing to them and neither are really entirely me you know? Like I am femme, but I have masculine side but…it has to be more obvious for most people or they get confused.
Anyway, speaking from personal lived experience being bisexual and struggling with it….it can be very hard to pin us down when it comes to our identity, even for ourselves. And I’m actually not 100% convinced that Lem was bisexual. I read things pretty carefully and I’m of the opinion that he probably was straight, to be honest. Michael reads more bisexual to me and Lem, if I’m just being honest with you while he was alive, at least because let’s be real, we might all be straight in Heaven seems straight. Michael seems more bisexual to me. I have a hard time seeing Lem as bisexual, but if he was yeah, he could easily be more interested in a woman than a man forever I mean, if he was bisexual, could you handle him being with Jack or will that just blow your mind? For real, could you could you comprehend that or is that also really scary and weird to all of you?” she asks.
“OK I am a millennial and so I sort of hate myself for saying this. Because I actually agree with you I don’t think he seems necessarily straight…but to me I would read him as being straight too. I think it’s just how he dresses partially? But anyway, regardless of what I personally think… I work for the Kennedys in the Illuminati as a sort of surrogate voice when they’re not in the room so to speak. And I am being told to tell you that Red Fay – I wasn’t there obviously, but they insist that he meant that in some snide jackass way, where he was trying to make fun of Lem for being so gay by saying he acted bisexual, but he was really trying to actually mock him for being so gay. That sounds like total bullshit to me, but I wasn’t there and they’re really desperate to get that message out.” says a woman.
“Were they there themselves or did they hear that second-hand from someone else?” asks Casi.
“No, if they’re being honest, they were not there.“ she says.
“Then how do they even know?! Who did they hear it from?” asks Casi.
Silence.
“I bet you I know who they heard it from they heard it from their mom who was devastated that he didn’t find her attractive! That’s who they heard it from! Or some bitch who was trying to sleep with him and he didn’t want to sleep with her or some gay man who was hurt for some other petty reason.” says Casi.
“I was the one that said it. Can I explain?” asks Red Fay.
“Sure!” says the spokesperson.
“I was making fun of Jack. I was also making fun of Lem to some degree. If I said it in front of Jackie, it had a lot to do with her.
Lem’s orientation was always very confusing to me, because I actually was bisexual and I could never get a good read on him. There were some people who thought he was asexual because he seemed bizarrely repulsed by sexual activity at times and they couldn’t figure out why and they were offended by it but that’s a long story. I labeled him bisexual with reservations. Which is why I called him neutral. My first reservation was the fear of someone in that family attacking me for being honest about what really happened.
Yeah, I knew the story was that he was in a relationship with Jack that was covert and super secretive, obviously covert. But I knew Jack and I knew Lem somewhat and I I couldn’t quite buy it. It’s just that there were so many red flags we’ll say and it just didn’t ring true to me. For one thing their personalities just never made sense together…but anyway, the point is that I suspected he could’ve been in a relationship with Jackie. But I didn’t know for sure, and I couldn’t tell if she had been hurt by him or if she’d snubbed him or both and it intrigued me, because I may have had feelings for her myself.
Yes, you read that correctly. I was jealous of Lem over Jackie‘s affections. Yes, you read that correctly. If I am Red Fay, I’m confessing to the fact that I was lusting after Jack Kennedy’s wife. …That is not something anyone has ever discussed because I kept it very secretive.
She was extraordinarily beautiful to me, and what’s more she was funny. She was glib. She was incredibly well-dressed, and she had this totally uncanny ability to have insight into people’s personalities. I was floored by her and smitten. If I ever took her hand I was over the moon to be able to hold it for even a few minutes.
And possibly I would never have betrayed Jack, Jack’s trust, but I wondered if Lem would, and when I said what I said ‘he was neutral’ if she was there, I may have actually been flirting with Jackie very undercover by saying it. …As in, Lem was a neutral party between them in their flawed marriage, that I understood was flawed and so if she was interested in discussing problems with me, I could be ‘neutral’ too *wink wink*.
The idea was that I thought Lem was bisexual. Bisexual. You heard that right. I was saying he was bisexual…but I said it in a weird way not to point out that he was gay. I wasn’t trying to point out that he was gay. That was not what I was trying to say and if someone heard it that way, that’s their problem because that wasn’t what I meant. You know you’d think if you said someone’s not outright gay that would mean that they’re possibly trying to hint at something because I could’ve just said he seemed gay, I could’ve just not said anything, but I said it in a way that was indicating he was bisexual, and it pisses me off that people have misinterpreted that. And if I didn’t comment when someone took it the wrong way at the time, because that is possibly literally what happened, it was out of a sort of vanity. I thought it would be obvious that I meant bisexual and yet if someone took it the wrong way what did it even matter? I didn’t anticipate the Internet. I didn’t anticipate this situation! I didn’t think it would matter. I didn’t think it would matter!
I just didn’t think that it would matter, so I just let it go and let people think whatever they wanted to because I may have been somewhat threatened by Lem, especially because I suspected he was straight.
I suspected he was straight. And I thought he was a wounded…sensitive…alcoholic. Who was too shy to ask a woman out on a date and then got co-opted by Jack…because I knew how domineering and manipulative Jack actually was underneath his veneer of sweetness and gentility and charm. It was a veneer, trust me. He was a total fucking twat asshole, even if I cared about him as a friend. And I thought Lem was a lazy little bastard from a wealthy family, who just sat around drinking tea and coffee and eating toast and jam. He just seemed so stupid to me.
The way that Hemingway describes Harold Loeb in the Sun Also Rises is spot on for Lem Billings, and if he actually was straight, forget the whole Jack thing they really are a lot alike and a lot of the reasons that people were irritated by Harold Loeb were the reasons why I found Lem irritating. And no, don’t think I was attracted to him. I think it was just, he was so laid-back…and I felt like it was far too laid-back. I thought he took things way too lightly and in all reality he did in a way; he did take things too lightly because he maybe rarely ever sucked Jack’s cock, maybe he only did that rarely. Maybe he never really got off and maybe it was just all nonsense to him and he thought when he got to Heaven he’d be healed of his homosexuality, but that’s weird. Why didn’t he think that through and realize ‘Hey, I’m not gay at all.’ It just seemed like pure idiotic, white male, prideful bullshit…and it made me despise him.
Anyway, I felt sorry for him too though because I thought God help you, Jack basically controls you like a robot. …But then that made me hate him even more…because I thought how could a man with a functional cock let that happen to himself, it’s disgusting. He needs to get over it! …I had to face my fears and ask out a woman. Why is this little fuckwad not able to do that?! Say, what gives?!?
Anyway, I did feel sorry for him but I didn’t want to because that’s not respectful…and Lacey understands that and I hope someone alive other than her still does. The truth is, I’ve had a crush on Lacey too. The Kennedy men married adventuresome women in their cases and yeah, I did just say that, but I’m a ghost and I know how much-I know how Joe felt about her, you all don’t…and that’s another topic.
Anyway, if I am Red Fay yes I was calling Lem bisexual with reservations because I wondered if he was gay, I wondered if he was straight and so I was saying he was bisexual in a rather tentative way. It was also to mock Jack for lying about it, and to mock Lem for not being more clear about who he really is and was.” says Red Fay.
“Was there a note on toilet paper?“ asks a gay man.
“I just wanted to add that the biggest part probably was due to my feelings for Jackie.
No, there wasn’t. And people have thought that there wasn’t for a reason. Lem might’ve been straight, and he very well may have written a note on toilet paper, but it wasn’t some sexually charged diatribe of a sex hungry teenage gay boy. It was a man who was confused…and was trying to experiment or they already started something, and he was trying to somehow be honorable in his own sweet, stupid way. He really was not in love with Jack but imagine a teenage boy because that’s what they were and it’s like…he thinks this woman is in love with him and it’s the 1930s and so he’s thinking ‘I better make this official things are cooking things are heating up. This might be the one!’. And so the tradition was just to send something on toilet paper and so he did, if he did. Because he was trying to make his relationship ‘Facebook official’ does that make sense? It’s like that was the tradition so he was trying to find a way to make his relationship with Jack official. You know they were going steady, they you know could start having sex, but it wasn’t-You know it was that Lem was trying to follow his instincts and be gay…and he was horny and they maybe did talk about sex. But that’s sex with women and not each other…and so they talked about sex. They talked about sex and you know he was a teenager and if there was a note, the idea was just ‘OK. Let’s let’s have gay sex. That sounds good! I’ll try it!’ you know? Like, ‘Let’s make our relationship Facebook official and do it. Yeah let’s do it!’
The truth is that as I’m saying this I’m starting to fall in love with Lacey because she really is open to men who are bisexual.
Anyway, that’s not what she’s hearing. No, she’s hearing what I’m saying and it’s awful to have to tell you this because it really is frighteningly different than your narrative, and it actually is much more difficult for her to challenge you than it should be because you’ve told her she was an idiot and brilliant her whole life and she actually is unusually intelligent…but people have bullied her. The thing is…if you were straight if I’m Red Fay it is far more likely that he was never one to have written a note on toilet paper. I’m saying he didn’t. I’m saying Lem did not. I’m saying that never happened and who made up that story? Possibly ‘other people,’ because the real story was an outing of Jack’s actual sexuality, and it would have let people know that Jack was not straight. But the toilet paper legend was a way of covering up what actually happened and it’s possible Jack actually was the one that instigated the relationship and that’s why they made up the story and there is some evidence for that. You know he told Lem off and all that but he wrote that because Lem thought they were in a relationship.
He thought something was happening and Jack was trying to set him straight…but in a way to manipulate him to actually keep him like, ‘Oh no! Lem, nothing’s happening! Lem…we’re just friends! Chill out. …This is weird!’ But then he should have added, ‘Except, later tonight when I grab your hand and I try to masturbate you, you’ll just have to figure out what I mean by that, because I am saying really adamantly right now that you’re full of it and you’re weird but then later when I come onto you and we’re sitting around talking and drunk before we go to bed…what does that mean? No, I’m just being weird I guess? …I don’t. I don’t know. …I wanna try to kiss you. But what does this mean? It’s a mystery, Lem. …And then when you tell me that we should stop because you feel uncomfortable, I’ll act like that’s cool but that I’m also hurt and devastated but I also understand!’
That absolute bullshit gave Jack an incredible advantage because then he could play hurt and also have the power over the relationship of pretending like it wasn’t real and it was just all in Lem’s head. So then Jack held all of the cards because everything was so subtextual. Everything was subconscious. Everything was unspoken. …And it’s just left Lem totally baffled and reeling and obsessed with the Jack because Lem thought he himself was gay and he was trying to figure out what the hell was going on with Jack Kennedy.
Were they in love was he in love? Was Jack in love? What was going on?!? So when people think Lem was obsessed, he was obsessed…but it was to try to figure out what the hell was going on. Because Jack was the master of mixed signals. He was terribly vicious, vicious manipulator.” says Red. “And that’s really part of what happened to Lacey. By keeping someone questioning something it makes them seem like they’re attached to it for whatever reason you want to pretend. You can think Lem was was bisexual if you want you can think he’s gay. But if you think he’s gay I guarantee you Michael Rockefeller is ready to screw the shit out of her tonight and I’m not exaggerating.
So even though it isn’t true, let’s just say Lem was bisexual and it didn’t work out. Jack was an asshole how about that? And even if Jack’s not an asshole anymore if there is bisexuality in Heaven he’s not Lacey, you’re absolutely right. He’s not Lacey. We’re all special and hurt does matter and I’ll leave it at that.
And even if he was bisexual, I would still say that there was no toilet paper message. Sorry if it’s confusing, but no, their relationship started in other ways. If there was a relationship that was mutual at all, and I’m saying that there wasn’t. But the idea is that Jack keep Lem guessing like, ‘Umm…you are this poor piece of shit, Lem.’ And so Lem wondered, ‘Does this family hate me or do they love me? Does he even like me at all? Am I a loser? Am I gay or am I straight? Are we in love and who even is Jack?!’ Jack he just constantly keep Lem on his toes so he never had a moment to just sort of relax, and know what reality was, because if he had he would’ve gotten over Jack and Jack knew that. So the idea was to just keep Lem guessing just keep him guessing and it worked because Lem loved to analyze things and people and no he never had a moment of peace and it was just this hair-raising, confusing experience and you know Jack knew how to get in Lem’s head. Because he was like that he studied people he knew how to get in people’s heads and he did he got in Lem’s head. Jack did he pushed all the right buttons.
The point is, I am never going to tell you that Lem was straight in the way you want to hear it. But if he was, there are explanations for everything, truly everything. And the sad truth is if I was there I know some of those explanations and I can’t easily share them with you because her mind having to do this it’s not what God intended. Largely because she has no way of guaranteeing in a sane, rational way that I am Red Fay and that I’m telling her something in an honest way. He was gay as a façade for the truth. In reality he was straight. And there has not been enough scholarly research done on Jack’s psychology, because he really was a riveting character. He was a master manipulator he he was brilliant at getting what he wanted out of people. He had this way of being calm yet anxious at the same time. And it left you baffled because people were nicer back then, and so you were trying to be kind, you were trying to get along with him but you couldn’t figure out whether you were going or coming half the time. It just left you totally baffled as to what he even wanted out of you even as a friend. Like does he want me as a friend or doesn’t he? Are we best friends? Are we not best friends?” says Red Fay.
Pyramid Song by Radiohead plays.
“It…was very odd that Lem as his supposed best friend was just an usher at his wedding, and not his best man.
If you look at some of the pictures it looks like Lem should have been Jack‘s best man based on the way they’re posing…but he wasn’t. He was an usher. That’s weird! That’s a huge psychological prank to play on someone. …And those of you were dumb enough to think that someone could be attracted to men…and be happy at a wedding of a male lover…because of some stupid secret pack can go fuck yourselves. …When was the last time you were ever in love with someone who was sleeping with someone else?!? I suppose if you’re polyamorous maybe you don’t care, but for those of us that can be monogamous and get jealous in a real, healthy way it sucks shit.
I hear you…you’re trying to tell Lacey spiritually, ‘Oh well, maybe they had some secret pack and maybe you know he was happy at the wedding because he was secretly in love with Jack and he was an usher in a way that meant something romantic?!’ No, no because you’re not thinking that through; you’re not thinking it through it all.
First of all, if you think she could be talking to Lem I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but he gets pissed off when she interacts sexually with Michael or with her ex husband even that she’s still legally married to, by accident. It’s possible she’s almost died three times in the last year due to Lem’s outstanding rage. It’s actually excruciatingly painful for him to watch her with anyone else…so if that’s him what gives?!
At the very least Lem at very least, you have to conceive of the thought that maybe he loves her more than he love Jack. Maybe the love between him and Jack wasn’t that profound and that’s why we we’re left wondering because it was never that great and there was some love, but it was not this…profound relationship. If Lem was bisexual it just seems that way because it was a new thing at the time…but if you actually think about how he words things he doesn’t seem that deep in his love, he doesn’t seem he doesn’t seem that deeply in love with Jack because if Lacey died, he wouldn’t kill himself. He wouldn’t be shooting up drugs with their kids, no that’s impossible! No, if she’s talking to Lem oh no he’d be staying sober and trusting God that he’d see her someday in Heaven out of love for her because it’s a loving thing to do to someone; you don’t destroy someone’s life when you die, and if you do why that looks suspicious. It’s the opposite of what some people have traditionally thought in my opinion. Because it really isn’t a testament to your love that you want to kill yourself when they’re gone. No, it’s a sign that there’s something amiss that they left behind. You left them vulnerable somehow.
I mean, if Lacey is illegitimate, and she might not be, but if she is think about how much it meant to her to just be held by her father for two months how much it would’ve meant that’s perfect love. I know that not all parents leave their kids feeling that way when they die but I think that would be the ideal that your kids wouldn’t you know be totally damaged but they’re still going to be but-and that’s a different relationship but the point is Lem was straight. And Jack kept him totally on his toes completely baffled all the time about what he was up to, you know, ‘Does he love me? Does he hate me? If I’m gay, is he gay?’ and it went on and on and on and no at Jack’s wedding Lem wasn’t sad. I mean…let’s just think about that for a minute.
It’s Jack Kennedy’s wedding. Lem is with Jack. He’s got his hands on Jack’s shoulders and the night before maybe they were out cruising around and for all we know he sucked Jack’s cock. Maybe Jack sucked his maybe not, but it would be worse if he did. …So something might’ve happened the night before with him and Jack…maybe some other woman or four too…but then there’s the wedding…and everyone gets dressed up. They take tons of pictures and then there’s Jackie, gorgeous Jackie, and as the evening goes on and the day goes on and Jack and Jackie kiss at the altar. …I mean…Lem had to have realized they were probably gonna fuck that night. …You heard me fuck Jackie and Jack fuck each other. I mean you could argue the man was in sound delusion but he doesn’t read as that delusional. And even the most delusional person who is not truly insane wouldn’t not notice that they’re at a huge wedding and wouldn’t not realize that traditionally speaking they were probably going to screw each other’s brains out that evening, especially at that time. And Jackie was in love! …I mean, watching them hold each other, watching them kiss? I mean come on get real! Lem knew he was going to fuck Jackie and she wasn’t just some woman that he would disregard. Jack was planning on having whole a life with her. She was married to him and people were going to give her credit for everything! She had his name. She was going to bear his children in her body, and the whole family was going to recognize her as his wife and treat Lem like he was a nothing and a nobody…and it wasn’t just gonna be something Jackie would say, would say about him. No, that was the actual reality of what he was going to experience there on out, even if he was taking care of Jack, even if he was sucking his dick…and even he was there every weekend. It was her house. She was his wife And he was putting his bare naked penis in her vagina trying to get off in her body.
And Lem didn’t have an escape. He didn’t have a cell phone. He will get drunk, but he had no way out of that moment the way people do today, but there he is smiling. Totally happy. There’s no deep sadness of that sort at all! No, he looks thoughtful but he was the usher and he was never given credit as anything more than just a fucking usher! And yet…and you think he was happy about that?!? Because of a ‘pact?!?’ Why?!? Are you sick and dumb as dirt?”
Red calms himself.
“I was in love with Jack! I was! I was! I was!
I was in love with Jack! …I was in love with Jackie. …If you look at my face, you might see a little real deep sadness. I was in love with Jack!
…It’s awfully convenient that no one talks about that or about Rip or about Tennessee Williams, or I would bet 10 other men who you don’t even know about. …And why don’t you know about them because of Lem because Lem was the buffer of the century and he was excellent at deterring people’s attention. He was tall, he was gracious, he was elegant. He was incredibly attractive, and if he was straight he confused the shit out of people, subconsciously, at the very least. …So if he was straight if Lem was straight, and Jack was not and if I was in love and if I’m Red…Lem was there to take your eyes off of me, and other men who are friends with Jack, who really would’ve looked concerning on some gut level, so to speak. It was an ingenious way to distract people…and Jack Jack may have liked Lem his own reasons, but he also is a very useful tool, very useful tool, because if Jack wasn’t straight Lem was perfectly confusing. He was his gay friend and they even acted out a bit at times…but then Lem wasn’t even gay! And the people who really were gay were just sort of…not as obvious because they weren’t walking around talking in a high-pitched, fake voice like Lem and they weren’t 6 foot four and they weren’t trying to eat and raise their pinky every five minutes and bat their eyes and wiggle their butt to seem gay. …And you could say, ‘Why didn’t Lem just let loose and wiggle his ass all the time and he outright gay?’ Because if Lem relaxed, he stopped seeming gay! That’s why at the end of what he says he sounds straight but at the beginning he sounds gay. It’s because he’s losing energy as he completes a sentence. See…that’s why when gay men try to sound straight they leave off something at the end of their sentence that sounds straight thus outing themselves because that’s just how we work! We get tired.” says Red.
“Did you did you feel hurt Red? Did you feel hurt?” asks a man.
“Did I feel hurt??! Oh wow.” says Red.
“With respect to God, I don’t know what’s allowed in Heaven…but did you, did you get hurt?” the living man asks.
“Yeah, yeah if I was bisexual, I was devastated by Jack. …He made you feel like you would be the exception, that you would be the exception that you were the one who would really get through to him and you would finally you know capture him and he’d be captured and you would just…I don’t know, drift off together into the sunset maybe or something. …So then you know it’s like…are you the one that gets through to him?? Are you the one that really makes it?! And then you realize that you hadn’t…but he’s still be so damn nice and you know offers you this offers you that, ‘Hey, let me buy this for you!’ Or ‘Hey, come visit us!’ and you think to yourself, ‘Wow, this man needs me. This man really needs me!’ No, it wasn’t just Lem that felt that way. No, everyone did! You know, ‘He needs us! Oh, he needs us for something! Can we help him? Can we make the cut? Can we really make the team?!? Gee..I wonder if I will be drafted onto the Jack Team?! I better practice! I better get my ducks in a row. I’ll see if he picks me boy oh boy this is this is showtime for Jack.’ For Jack Kennedy, that is JFK, and then eventually you’d realize…’No…we’re just friends!’ and you’d feel embarrassed and you think, ‘OK well gee…I must be an idiot to think that I could be with him.’ But then he’d give you something and you’d think, ‘Wow, you sure are nice and here I am this total loser freak and I thought I could be with him the son of a very wealthy man who is reasonably attractive went to Harvard…that big beautiful house, a US Senator, then a war hero.’ And you’d think ‘I could be with him! Of course it’s a secret but still maybe well…maybe we could make something really work and we really could be together somehow?!?’ But then no! But then he’d offer you some token of gratitude, you know, a consolation prize, and you’d think ‘Wow, what a nice man! Here I was an idiot who thought I could be with him! I must be out of my damn mind!’ But then he let me suck his cock again…and we might’ve actually slept together consensually a couple of times, even when he was in the White House supposedly married to Lem and Jackie, I guess. And then it’s like, ‘But no no no no no! He’s still dating other men and there’s still Jackie so he’s never coming out of the closet!’
And you know it’s weird that I never admitted to Lem. Supposedly that I slept with him. It’s it’s weird that I never told Lem that I slept with Jack but Lem confessed to me that he sucked Jack’s cock?! Why would I do that? Maybe I was trying to figure out if I had real competition and I realized that I didn’t. I realized that I didn’t, and I didn’t wanna tell Lem what was actually happening, that I was having a real relationship with him and that we were actually having very intense sex on occasion.
Because why would I tell him that?! No, that’s a ridiculous thing to tell someone who’s in some psychotic relationship and is possibly out of their mind to begin with. That would be mean you know, if I if I thought I should say something and I should have, but I I just couldn’t bring myself to really explain. So instead, I just was like, ‘Oh, well you know…I’m bisexual maybe you are too, I don’t know.’ I don’t even know if Lem knew I was really sleeping with him. If I never told him and I may have but if I didn’t, I don’t even know if Lem knew that. Not because he was dumb because I don’t think he realized what was going on around him at times, because it was almost like he was totally dissociated. It was like he cared and he was present, but he didn’t realize what actual desire meant or what it looked like because in a weird way he never grew-up. He didn’t know what adult sexuality looked like so he might’ve guessed that I was sleeping with him, but then he didn’t know what that even really was and for him it was just like, ‘Well maybe it’s like what we do? I don’t even know if it’s like what I do with my boyfriends? I don’t even know!’ And that’s where if Lem was straight you’ve gotten really screwed-up in your view of history with Jack. Because you’ve got Lem in a starring role when Lem was two sheets to the wind if he was straight. No, he had no idea what gay sex was. He had never actually had sex! Now he has with Lacey but at the time he hadn’t so he didn’t have any conceptualized understanding from physical experience of what that even was. Then he had just been molested and he thought, ‘I don’t know whatever that is I guess! That’s what they’re doing too?’ OK?
So if Lem was straight, that’s part of why you don’t know anything because you took the bait and you ran down the bunny trail and if he was straight, and I’m a ghost and you can’t guarantee that what I’m saying is true. You took the bait you ran with it and you’ve wasted a lot of time but no I may have had-maybe not but maybe I did I can’t guarantee that you’re talking to me right? Cause I’m a ghost if I’m Red. But…no we were in a very hot, tumultuous affair off and on for years. I was married, he was married, but no he kept coming back occasionally looking for something. And it was like, ‘OK maybe this maybe this time it will be different! But this time it’ll work!’ But I never did. And he’d be nice and he would be so friendly and so kind and he’d make you feel like such a piece of shit compared to him and his family then you know he’d offer this reward with that and then you think, ‘OK well, maybe if I just hang-out a little longer…you know…maybe he’ll leave Jackie when he’s not President anymore and we can finally be together.’” says Red.
“I need to explain something. I didn’t want to take the role as Director of the Peace Corps because I didn’t want that kind of intimacy with Jack even though I didn’t realize it at the time. But also, I didn’t wanna seem in my own head like I was being unfaithful to him because like we were married in some sentimental way. Because I thought that would ruin things. Which is really just some bizarre, gay marriage I guess you could call it. But that’s not really appropriate to take that post…but then a part of my repulsion was that I didn’t want that kind of intimacy with Jack, I didn’t. I didn’t want to be associated with him as ironic and stupid as that might sound in that kind of way. I’m a very private person and I didn’t want to give up that part of my mind to jack. And I didn’t really realize it fully at the time that I wasn’t gay at all and I just thought I was keeping things clear between us but really I think I was lying to myself, and it’s because I was repulsed by the idea of working that closely with him, in such a genuinely intimate way where I had to really display my intelligence fully. Because I acted dumb a lot around all of the Kennedys as long as they knew me I was playing dumb and they bought it hook line and sinker every single one of them.
I think JFK Junior wondered sometimes, but for the most part no they all bought it. Lacey wouldn’t have, but they bought it and if I had to work in such a professional position, I would’ve had to drop the act and Jack would’ve had to figure out finally that I wasn’t an idiot, and it bothered me that he never picked my brain, it bothered me that he never did that because I felt hurt for good reason. He was an arrogant asshole! But at the same time it didn’t bother as much as it should have because I liked it. I didn’t have to be vulnerable that way but no if I had taken that position, I would’ve had to have real conversations with him and he would’ve realized that I was different than he thought that I was far more serious far less giddy and not that happy. That…I lied to him when we first started our relationship if that ever happened anyway. And every man fears that if he’s in a bad marriage, his wife finding out that there’s a part of him that she didn’t know and if I taken that job as the Director of the Peace Corps, my fake wife because I was straight and out of my mind even though I wasn’t really insane, would realize that no he wasn’t my twinkle princess. No, I didn’t want a twinkle princess but regardless I wasn’t really in love with him as much as I had pretended or thought at all, I wasn’t in love with him at all.” says Lem.
“OK so then Red you did take the position and what was that like? Were his fears well-founded? Is that part of how you ended-up sleeping with him if you did?” asks a woman.
“Yeah! Yep, his fears were well-founded and that was the reason why if he attacked Lem in the Oval Office high on cocaine late at night he did that because Lem kept running away. And that irritated Jack he didn’t, he didn’t stay interested once you put out if you genuinely put out and it’s possible that he thought Lem was real tricky and if you just attacked Lem on the head hard enough, you know it’s like a TV if you kick it to work, and Lem would somehow, you know, magically put out. But if you put out for Jack in a way that was very sincere he get over you or he was seemingly totally disinterested. So yes by taking the position that I did, I was in a position sexually then where I was putting out for him, for Jack. My wife knew potentially that I wasn’t completely straight and it’s possible she thought it was just sort of ridiculous. Because if I did love her too you know, it just seemed stupid to her. But no, I’ll say it again because I don’t feel like I’m being heard. If there’s an Illuminati Jack and I had a hot, flaming, adulterous relationship…and if I am a ghost, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise in that family. They wouldn’t know because they weren’t there.” says Red.
“Who else was he sleeping with?” asks a gay man.
“It’s still sort of troubling to me because you say sleeping with and he slept with a lot of people so that-Umm…is there a difference between that and what I experienced? What I experienced. Does it mean something more? Because if I experienced something it’s still traumatic.” says Red.
“It’s creepy to me how much you remind me of Lacey just listening to your psychology because I have a strong sense of you’re not Lacey but just it’s weird how similar you two are and it just seems weird. I just have to say that.” says a living actress.
“Are men gonna start being misogynistic towards each other now in the gay community whether there’s any truth on this blog or not, I’m genuinely wondering if that’s a thing.” says Wobbly.
“I may not be gay anymore. But that doesn’t mean if that’s true, that what I experienced with Jack was the same as what Lem experienced and honestly I’m still devastated. I’m still devastated. I was dumb enough to cheat on my wonderful wife. She still is wonderful. And my kids might’ve been hurt by that too. If I had kids I hurt someone, I have a feeling. No…I was his we’ll say…main mistress. If you’re looking for Jack’s mistress, it’s me not Lem. I was his main mistress and there is a lot of photographic evidence.
There are a lot of pictures of us together alone sometimes with his kids but it’s weird there’s not a lot of film of Jack and Lem alone together in that same way that’s public and honestly there might not be as much because that’s the thing that irritates me-“. He sighs. “How do you guys not see that when you see Lem with Jack? Do they look weird? It looks weird. I think you guys are over attached to Lem. I understand that he was tall. He was handsome. Maybe some of you had a crush on him. But there’s a reason you see me with Jack and Jack Junior possibly and Jackie and there’s their kid with a horse and not Lem. There’s a reason I show up differently in a lot of the footage of Jack. The only really odd picture of them is with Lem’s ass and there’s a few others to that look sexual, but those actually can be more easily explained away in my opinion because they’re so young and it looks peculiar. It actually does look like Lem might be confused and in the later pictures of Lem and Jack, Lem doesn’t look that attracted to him, he looks uncomfortable and maybe he doesn’t look like he’s in some real hot relationship, to be honest. No, it doesn’t look like that.
Ask Lacey, ask Louis, ask anyone who’s ever had an affair where they meant it as an adult, that’s not what it looks like.
When you see Jack and I we sit next to each other and we lean in a little and we’re whispering about something and we’re having these conversations and Jack looks serious and I look thoughtful. We were having a conversation and if that was a man and a woman what would you think was happening, that would look strange wouldn’t it? But we hid it because we were two men. There’s no picture of Jack and Lem that looks like they’re in love. It’s been invented! That picture of him and Rip is not him and Lem, but people need that to be him and Lem because they need evidence that doesn’t exist for a reason. There is evidence to suggest I had something going on with Jack. If you look closely enough. And any Gen. Z guy can tell you who’s experimented accidentally when he was drunk with homosexuality when he’s straight that there’s pictures of him naked with a guy in a hot tub on some phone! And he tried it and he didn’t like it because he’s straight. And it’s embarrassing but it’s allowed in that generation as that-it’s just what they do but that’s not what really exactly happened with Lem but the idea is that it’s like Lem was confused and that guy is also confused. The photos look painfully similar. Not that I’m looking for anything like that to see. That’s just an example from stories I may have heard from friends who have had their grandkids in their teens make that mistake.
But…that awkward display is not what you see with me and Jack. Normally I wouldn’t be talking about that poor kid in the hot tub but I’m trying to make a point that that happens in that generation. They get into awful situations because they’re experimenting and there’s no bounds and they think, ‘I don’t know maybe I’m gay I’m a dude I don’t know!’ and then he tries it and then he doesn’t like it. But if you saw a picture of me bending over you’d stop taking me as seriously I bet. And you don’t see that.” says Red.
“Were you hurt by Lem?” asks a man.
“You know that may be the reason I hated him slightly. Just like Jack co-opted Lem’s life, manipulated the shit out of him, so Jack may be the reason that you know Lem never got married because, if you put it in shit terms, he was ‘never lonely.’ Yeah, he never had a chance to practically take a shit without Jack, controlling him. But no, I didn’t hate him that much but I might’ve hated him a little bit because why wouldn’t I? That’s funny how there was never this huge tit for tat with me and Lem. And it’s insulting to me that people think I was too ugly to sleep with Jack? Why did no one ever think that Lem, if they were in this hot relationship would be jealous of me? Why wasn’t Lem clawing my eyes out? Why wasn’t Lem killing Rip? My you guys really don’t think things through. You suspend disbelief to be nice to gay people and you will hate them someday, and there are some of them that might not deserve it. …I was jealous of Lem. I couldn’t stand him at times. Why was I making fun of him at all? Why was everyone making fun of Lem? Gore Vidal was always making fun of Lem, everyone was making fun of Lem and by the way, I’m pretty sure Gore Vidal probably slept with Jack too. Do you want a list of who hates Lem? Because Jack used Lem to hurt us.” says Red.
“Do I want a list of all the men he slept with? Umm yeah. Who?!” asks a living gay man.
“This is gonna be hard for Lacey to say so don’t take this as absolute fact. Tennessee Williams. Yep they slept together. They actually slept together. It wasn’t just some comment that Jack made. This is JFK we’re talking about right? No, they actually slept together. I’m not gonna listen the family perverted situations.
Me, Red Fay. Tennessee Williams. Gore Vidal. Two mobsters potentially, both Italian. There may have been a Jewish spy for the nation of Israel that he slept with that may or may not have been a double agent. I don’t know for a fact what happened with Rip but I would be shocked if they didn’t sleep together. There were two or three US Congressmen and one US Senator probably from somewhere in the south. Chef. A few male prostitutes, some of whom Lem may have provided which is further evidence that Lem wasn’t in love with him. A couple of guys in the military, me included of course. And if you could find the letters, there may have been one man in particular that he kept in touch with who he may have slept with and those letters may not exist, but I’m pretty sure that there was one man that he slept with whom he had a sort of relationship with via writing for a while. Know it didn’t last that long without the war but for a while they were involved, and it was pretty intense. I guess you could say he was his Pat Wilson, if this man existed. He did not sleep with Rock Hudson but he might’ve slept with a movie star too but I don’t know but he he did possibly have a crush on Rock Hudson and Humphrey Bogart. He never slept with him though. He may or may not have slept with Frank Sinatra and Peter Lawford, and how no one realizes that he was having an affair with his brother-in-law is beyond me if there was an affair, and again, that’s further proof that Lem was not in love with Jack.
Yes, he may have had a very brief affair with Peter Lawford. Why doesn’t anyone think of that? Isn’t that weird? Which is why if they killed Marilyn and there’s the story that Peter Lawford and Jack were driving around near her house when she died because Peter Lawford and Frank Sinatra would’ve both known Jack wasn’t straight and Peter Lawford may have been the reason that Marilyn knew if it wasn’t just Lem she may have seen him abuse Lem, but the person she may have really had a problem with was Peter Lawford. And it’s because it’s like you’re not expecting that to happen. You know you’re in love with a man and then he’s in love with his brother-in-law in the 1960s and it could’ve just totally floored her when she realized that that’s who it was and then she thought it couldn’t be and that’s the thing if she ever hooked-up with both Jack and Bobby, at the same time, she may have realized that it was weird. She may have realized it was weird but then that’s the thing it’s like you’re not expecting him to have a relationship with his brother-in-law and so you think to yourself why is he having a relationship with his brother-in-law and then you think wait a minute that night when I hooked-up, if this is what happened, that night when I hooked up with Jack and Bobby, I thought it was just because they were so horny and they just wanted an autograph and they didn’t care that they were there at the same time but now I’m wondering if they were secretly sleeping together through me because he’s sleeping with his brother-in-law and that’s weird. And so then it’s like OK well that’s strange. He’s sleeping with his brother-in-law and if Bobby ever said anything really lovely to her that touched her heart or if Jack ever did, can you imagine what ever happened? She got pushed over the edge, or they were afraid of what she would do possibly out of embarrassment, but it’s possible it wasn’t just this broken heart routine. It’s possible part of the reason she killed herself is because she was morbidly embarrassed.” says Red.
“Why was she so embarrassed?” asks Casi.
“If I killed myself at all, and I might not, as I might’ve been killed. If I killed myself at all, it was because people are complicated. I was extremely complicated. I really was very smart. And I was feeling that in regard to my career people thought it was a joke. I had bad marriages, failed pregnancies and I was turning into a barbiturate Barbie doll. A sort of blow up. Oh I hated myself! Absolutely hated myself. And it’s possible before that I felt like I was making my way into society. I was living it up. I was the talk of the town, you know, I was a real showstopper. I had really made something of myself and this is at a time when people had more respect for each other and art and I felt very respected by a lot of people who mattered to me. One of whom actually was Sheila Graham and Lacey knows that when Sheila respects you it means something.
Having approval from people like her who knew F. Scott Fitzgerald meant something to me, it felt like I was finally a human. So it was like, ‘Wow, you know, I have the respect of Sheila Graham. I have the respect of people!’ And yes that was in a time when it meant something to be human and people really had more respect for each other. That isn’t just some line from a Pat Robertson show. And that was the problem, I eventually felt shunned by those people. I felt as though I no longer had any value. I had screwed up so many times that I just felt like a whole failure. And no it’s possible I was heartbroken, but you know people say things…and it’s possible that I realized that Jack was gay and that there was something creepy with him and Bobby and I was abused as a child, so it was very triggering for me because I felt like I was being molested by grown men, and many times when I wasn’t even sober. So it’s like, ‘Hey, what’s going on? Why are these men doing this to me?’ because I might’ve been in threesomes but they weren’t related and they were. It’s just it was weird. It was really weird if I if anything happened with us. Too weird. And I felt taken advantage of and I felt so used and stupid. I felt like I just made a total fool of myself to myself in one way or another.
I thought, ‘Now, what am I gonna do? Go get married again?’ And so if I did kill myself it’s probably because I thought it was just downhill from there on out. I was gonna start aging. I didn’t ever find true love then I just gonna die, and I didn’t have any kids so there was no point. And I thought my dead babies hated me because I killed them somehow maybe through drinking or who knows what and I just thought, ‘I’m done so if this kills me it kills me and I’ll be better off for it!’ Umm…so I chose to play it dangerous.
But if they killed me at all or if they were worried I would die there’s a reason they were worried.” says Marilyn Monroe.
“So you killed yourself because you discovered that my father was sharing you with my oh my uncle and Lem was straight?” says Smobbly.
“Possibly! I mean it’s documented evidence. There’s documented evidence right? There’s documented evidence to suggest that Jack shared women with Bobby and other men it’s in the same article that says Lem is gay and you believe that. No, but I mean that’s something that supposedly happened with both him and Ted and I’m actually suggested to be one of those women. Why would I be OK with that if I wasn’t OK with that? Why wouldn’t that mess with my head? No, it did if I’m Marilyn, and that was part of the reason I killed myself. Yeah, it screwed with my head to think that I was being shared by two brothers intentionally…and you are a disgusting human being if that isn’t disgusting to you too. Do you and your brothers molest each other or your nieces in that way? Because your nieces have killed themselves. Because you molest everyone and then you pretend to be good men? If that’s true I know that and I’m not looking forward to your punishment, except I’m bringing this up to warn you. People don’t know people don’t know anymore because of you and your family and what freaks you were. And if you’re innocent sweetie, I’m sorry your father was such a piece of shit. And maybe he wasn’t to you, but he was to me if those rumors are true.” says Marilyn Monroe.
“Small boy is crying!” says a child.
“Smobbly or small boy?” Lacey asks the holders of that poor child hostage to clarify.
“Smobbly.” says a man.
“Lacey, when you found the Illuminati were you intending for any of this to happen because I have a feeling they think you were?” says an actress.
“No it really was an accident. I’m very happy to be able to be helpful to children if I have been and it was delightful to be able to meet the Queen, and I had some interesting conversations with some very lovely people. But no, I never had any intention of any of this happening. I am intrigued, but I am not-This was not-This was definitely not what I was looking for. I’m actually very disturbed to say the least. I mean I am very concerned about children first and foremost, including my own, and then you know obviously where am I going after I die, where are other people going after they die but beyond those concerns and considerations no I think this is just very disturbing. I was not intending to unearth any of this and hopefully it’s helpful, but this is not. This was definitely not what I was aiming for in life other than helping other than helping children. This would just be a no with the N O, in huge red letters.” says Lacey.
“Because that’s just not who you are and you don’t wanna bother people and you think that’s none of my business. Are you worry about the kids but you’re not a gossip columnist by nature and you really wanna know what’s going on and you wanna defend righteousness but you’re not interested in hurting people unnecessarily.” says an actress.
Dollars & Cents by Radiohead plays.
“You know I am really much more fascinated by my sweet green salad then I am by anything else.” says Mr. Blue.
“Do you actually do spells on food to have sex with other people in the Illuminati, in which case does eating that salad mean something to you or not?” asks a witch.
“Wow, you’re pretentious! I sometimes am just simple enough to enjoy a salad. I do use symbols to have intercourse sometimes as that is part of being in the Illuminati’s suite, using symbology to tap into sexual energy, but the salad is somewhat sexual, but not that sexual.” says Mr. Blue.
“So then it’s like it’s sort of sexual but it’s not. And is it a consensual relationship or are you molesting someone?” someone asks.
“I know it’s an adult and I think it’s probably consensual and you’re jealous I can tell. Ja! You know I am a really handsome man and the truth is if my wife was having a seizure I would I would probably notice and if people were vomiting in front of me I would try to offer them waste baskets or my hands not that it wouldn’t irritate me that they were vomiting, but I would probably try to be somewhat human. So!” says Mr. Blue.
“Are you and Wobbly in a relationship?” asks a hater.
“Yeah, maybe. I like the idea as I might not be straight. I might actually think it’s kind of romantic whether it’s real or not and he might not be as keen on the idea. I mean it’s not like an absolute thing that they can’t stand it because he might not be completely straight, but I don’t think he wants to date me. Isn’t it awful that men are so shallow. I’m actually really good looking and we have a lot in common and we go in the same circles and I might smoke somewhere that’s up with him so like why would you snub me like that if you’re not be faithful to your wife and I’m not chopped liver and I am an open marriage and my wife consents to it?!? Yeah, what’s the problem? You know his wife is consenting my wife’s consenting we’re both OK and it’s just like what’s wrong with me? I’m a very I actually am a fairly decent looking man I really don’t get it lol and he is so much short. Maybe I’m too tall for him but Lem is 6 foot four so I just think the whole thing is complete bullshit and that way, sorry if I sound like a commoner but now I just think I just think he’s being an I think he’s being a jerk I think if he’s an open marriage and I am too, when he finds me attractive that he shouldn’t be such a jerk about it.” says Mr. Blue.
Jazz Suite No. 1 plays.
More tomorrow.
Keen to Cross the Pond 
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