No, See…That’s Not Right

A gay man who is loving, sweet, tender hearted, honest, faithful, and Christian approaches Lacey over brunch. “You’re not afraid of not being a man. Because if Lem was madly in love with me or thought he was gay and he got into a relationship with me and it didn’t work out and I was just like what gives why am I not sexually pleasing him, and I let go of him functionally like a healthy man and thought we’re just not meant to be together. You wouldn’t have a problem, Lacey. And I wanted you to know that you’re not afraid of losing him to a man you know way too much about sex to be afraid of that. You are afraid of something else or there’s something else that’s pissing you off and I highly encourage you to delve into that because you need to for your own good.” he says.

And he’s right.

A Sparrow Alighted Upon Our Shoulder plays.

He’s right.

Lacey…is a warrior by nature.

“It’s almost like you turned evil and abandoned and me. Because there’s something about you being with Jack, and thinking you might have loved him at all that I just can’t fathom based on his character. It makes me feel like there’s no way that I can be with you.” says Lacey.

Louis smiles.

“It’s excruciatingly painful that you didn’t see through him at all.” says Michael.

“What’s different about Joe? Because you fell in love with Joe. Why is that different?“ asks Louis.

“I fell in love with Joe, thinking that he was a far better man than he is showed himself to be if I’ve been allowed to speak with the dead. I thought that he had it in him to be honorable and noble and brave. And he doesn’t he falls apart because he’s weak and screwed-up and I hope that God has helped him. I would never ever spend eternity with him unless if I’ve misinterpreted everything and in reality, I’m devastated by you and everyone else because my needs are far from being met.” says Lacey.

“I know.” says Louis.

“And that is why I persist…because she’s right. And people think that I am far too kind in letting her sleep with you and be in love with you. But I know her and if I spend eternity with her…I’m not worried about how in love she is with you or how inadequate I seem compared to you because I also know that in Lacey‘s mind God is what comes first and if God told her that she was supposed to be with me she would…for eternity. And that’s all I need. I don’t need her to approve of me. I just need her to obey…and she would.” says Michael Rockefeller.

And at that Lem realizes how profoundly hurt Lacey is.

“Lem, Jack’s entire romance of you was about destroying Lacey‘s soul out of nothing but petty jealousy and hate. And I understand that, and Michael understands that and Harold understands that there was nothing to it. It was just an intense desire to hurt Lacey as Jack wasn’t capable of real love. He would’ve had to be faithful to you to you at least somewhat meaningful somehow…to really love you and he couldn’t do that. But Lacey can sense it. I can sense it. God can sense it and if it’s real, he hated Lacey first and foremost and his entire plan was to seduce you away from her just long enough to really cause her excruciating pain. And you fell for it hook, line and sinker. The question becomes. What do you do with it?

See…if my wife seduced me away from Lacey a few years ago now my reaction is to have be incredibly loyal and loving to Lacey especially when she’s having health problems so when she goes to the doctor I go with her. And she knows I am possibly still live with my ex-wife, but I have a chance with her because I have found a way to explain to her that even if I am flawed, I still love her. And she respects so much I have worked at it and how much I have enjoyed working at it and that makes me respect her even more. I know the value of effort in a Christian way.

How much do you understand about what you are culpable for? I am not excusing the fact that Lacey has slept with other men since she knew you existed, and neither is she…but you have yet to understand why she might have done it in my mind almost at all. You destroyed that you didn’t destroy her because I don’t think God will allow that, but you destroyed something of value to you and I don’t think you were ever come to grips with that? Because she doesn’t know how much it bothers you that jack was just trying to destroy her. She doesn’t think you care, and that’s far worse than you seem to comprehend. And she doesn’t think you know that he was really also just trying to destroy you. …But I know that.

I see right through him and I know exactly what he was trying to do. I know that he didn’t give two shits about you. He hated you the minute he met you…and his entire façade of loving you and supporting you Lemmers…was to profoundly humiliate you on behalf of the Devil. And his own ego.

I met him. I knew him and I couldn’t stand Jack Kennedy. I thought he was a total loser. And if there’s an Illuminati they can’t handle hearing that because there’s very powerful people in the Illuminati who take anything you say about him extraordinarily personally. And they have no respect for their father, for their uncle, or even their grandfather. For some reason it is all about JFK! No, that’s all they care about.

So she’s dealing with that and then she’s dealing with the fact that it seems like you don’t have two fucking wits about you when it comes to what actually happened…and you seem like you’re still in the dark. And there’s nothing straight or loving, or safe or masculine about that at all and that’s part of why she doesn’t believe you when you say you were straight because it doesn’t make sense. How you abandon her and common sense in this conversation, which is why she slept with me. Because I do have a fucking clue. I’m sorry for swearing so much.

I am not afraid to sound ‘evil’ in 2023. I am not afraid of offending a family of Irish halfwits…drunken pieces of shit who should’ve all been shot in the fucking head not with heroin in a bathroom when they were 12 but point blank with a gun.” says Louis.

“Louis isn’t advocating that people go and kill the Kennedys calm down.” says his brother Jerome. “He’s calling the war criminals, treasonous sluts, buffoons, terrorists, and perhaps, most importantly, arrogant blowhards with almost no common sense. If there is an illuminati, they’ve destroyed, Lacey‘s relationship with one systematically. They destroyed her relationship with Joe systematically. She got thrown down the stairs, and almost died because of them. They are wildly irresponsible people they can barely stay alive themselves. When I think about Gideon and how he had to die in the amount of trust that he lost in his family for eternity and his mom, it makes me wanna strangle all of them myself.” He fumes. “I mean…can you imagine that?! Being a kid and trusting your mom who might be drunk to take care of you and then she ends up bringing you in a small little craft to the middle of the ocean on a cold windy, rainy day and then she panics and doesn’t even have the sense to make your last minutes comfortable and safe, because did she did she did she couldn’t handle the situation. So did he find out that his mother wasn’t to be trusted at all because she expected him to be an adult in a situation where she got scared and couldn’t figure out what to do? Just before a brutal death?? …That poor little boy! …How did you tolerate them at all because unless they were holding a little gun to your family’s head you should have walked. She has no respect for the fact that you thought you loved Jack your whole life because it’s despicable.

He was a total piece of shit to everyone. He was a terrible man, and then you thought he was the love of your life…because he gave you oral for the first time even though you didn’t like it?! You didn’t like it and you made a mistake! And it’s sweet that you held onto that but you made me want-you made jokes about sleeping with a prostitute, who you never even slept with to try to impress people who are worth shit when it came to their opinion. Why did you make that joke?” asks Jerome.

“And don’t forget that this is going to sound shocking to people reading this blog and that’s a very grave matter. You’re expecting her to buck most people’s opinions to stand up to you and possibly lose you for eternity, which is an excruciatingly painful thing for her to have to do with the first place.” says Louis.

“I mean it’s recorded history that you never let her family say a bad word about the Kennedys!” says Lem’s sister mockingly of him. “How are we more loyal to her than you and then what happens to you? There’s no comfort for her in that. She loves you to such a degree that she’s ashamed of it given what you’ve done. Lem, you made her ashamed to love you…and that’s why she slept with someone else because you told her that her love that she has for you is evil…because Jack said it was evil, and Jack knows everything. Right?! I mean…you picked his brain, but he didn’t pick yours, because you were so far beneath him. Jack’s entire life with you, and then your account of it was a triumph for Satan.”

“I went too far and I’ve tried to be in love with Lacey. I’ve tried apologizing to Christ. I mean there are demons who try to be her friend and now if she goes to Hell all she’s gonna think is that God loves her because I went to Heaven in her mind in regard to her…and she’s more afraid of going to Heaven now because I seem like I’m in Heaven in relation to her…and then going to Hell and receiving Christ’s wrath seems Heavenly to her…because I went much too far.” says Satan.

“So she only knows God’s anger as part of His love, and the rest of it just doesn’t exist anymore?” asks Wobbly.

“When she slept with other people, all she experienced was my anger and there are so many things I’ve been trying to say that you haven’t allowed me to say.“ says Lem.

“Because I know you’re gay and I’m trying to help you because I don’t want her to bother you the way she bothered us with Joe.” says Wobbly.

“You mean how she thought she was talking to Joe Junior?” asks Mr. Blue.

“Shut-up just shut-up!” yells Wobbly.

“So what Lem. Explain yourself! If you love her Jack came between the two of you now and in the past and how much of that is her fault and how much is that is actually your fault, still? And then you expect her to trust you? No, that’s a lot to ask her and yet maybe that’s what she has to do. Can you imagine what that must be like or do you just like empathy?” asks Louis. “Are you just another fake human? Who looks promising but turns out to be nothing more than a piece of shit?”

“ you said you were gonna stop defending yourself, but then what because all they’re obsessed with is trying to prove that you were gay that’s all they care about me or obsessed with hating her to a psychotic degree either their schizophrenic voices and then their demons and she knows that. Even if she’s not schizophrenic. Or there are people in the illuminati that’s worse because if they were demons, they’re just doing their job they’re supposed to hate humans. She understands that that’s what they’re supposed to do. What she can’t comprehend is that there could be living adult humans were worse than demons. she understands the holocaust. This doesn’t make any sense or the lamb because it seems like it’s entirely personal and directed towards her, and if there is wobbly, he seems to think she is the fountain of all evil, and that he is Jesus Christ himself. And as much as his family disagrees, they don’t agree to disagree nearly enough. And they don’t just do it to Lacey. They do it to other people who have enormous amounts of power and wealth but then at the same time with Lacey they want to claim that she has no power and wealth and she’s a poser who is obsessed with them and their uncle and you. And Michael has no patience for it. Michael has no no patience for it. We empathize because we actually understand what happen with you sexually, not because of Michael but because we studied it. Because you fascinated us and we feel sorry for you. Louis and his brother care too, but they see things differently.

We we think that you should be with her, potentially for eternity…and we may be right but at the same time what bothers her at the end of the day, possibly because it bothers Michael so much and she actually is with Michael if she’s not with you for eternity. Not Harold or Louis just Michael and what bothers Michael and then bothers her too is the issue of social class. …Maybe it’s just because Michael is a Rockefeller but I don’t know. You should ask Michael.” says a Rod.

“What bothers you about it?” asks Lem. “I’m not going to lose Lacey but what bothers you about it?”

“Lem do you believe that wealth exists?” asks Michael.

“Of course I do.” says Lem.

“Your family, the Kennedys, don’t! No, they don’t believe in wealth anymore. So…can you explain why your family doesn’t believe in wealth anymore Lem?” asks Michael.

Lem’s sister cracks up laughing.

“I have to think it’s because they aren’t wealthy like they used to be.” says Lem.

“Are they as wealthy as the Billings?” asks Lem’s mom.

“No in some cases they are not.” says Lem.

“But according to Instagram, they’re old money, Lem!” says a Rockefeller mockingly.

“Isn’t it funny Lem how your family, your poor Episcopalian gay family that just was too backward to know you and know that you had a tragic life…is wealthier than the Kennedys, in more than some cases.” says Lem’s father. “Or no! Wait! Wait! Newsflash of the century! The fact that we’re still wealthy in our family or came back from the great depression literally is undeniable proof that we’re stupid and evil!” he says sarcastically. “ actually, I was a doctor and I was excited about vaccines and I still think that there’s a time and place where they should be used. Like to prevent smallpox and polio although I understand the concerns that they’ve been tainted that’s not actually crazy to worry about that. I lived through a time when industry was out of control and treated people very badly. It’s been seen before. But you know the fact that I think that they’re good at all and that all mandated vaccines the way the US government mandated them was far removed from the Holocaust that was real that was caused by Bobby Kennedy Junior’s grandfather directly… You read that right: the Kennedys caused the Holocaust. That makes me a lunatic according to some. An evil Bill Gates lover in my gay family.”

“Yes dear, your father was directly responsible for the holocaust and murder of millions of Jews.” Pat says to Joe Jr..

“And if the British murdered you Joe, that was why. It was because we knew about the Holocaust in 1944 and you thoroughly pissed us off!” says a dead British man.

“OK so we wired it up so that we wouldn’t have to abuse kids and we thought that if we tortured Lacey we could avoid torturing kids.” says the Illuminati. “ because we have to sacrifice her for the kids to get on Satan’s good side so that will get them the money and the power and stuff.”

“Yeah and my demons tell you that I respect that but what if I really don’t and I’m just trying to make fun of you for existing because I hate you?” asks Satan.

“That’s not true Satan. Nah, we’re best friends and we go way back!” says Wobbly.

“And at that Lem runs away, not from Lacey, he runs away. And it will not be disclosed where he runs to with Lacey and their kids.” says a voice.

“You know Jack…what if Lem really was straight and you weren’t.” says a gay man in the Illuminati.

“I could never be gay.” says JFK.

“Because you would miss women too much or what?” asks a female Satanist.

“No I actually hate women for the most part I really do I hate them. I hate them. I hate women. I really hate women. …And men are just competition. No I just I’m not that stupid. I’m too cool for that. I’m just being honest. I’m sorry.” says JFK.

“So you could have a boyfriend like Lem who is madly in love with you and abdicated his soul and threw Lacey and his children to Hell for you without a doubt, and if there’s any question about Lem or what he was really trying to say, we should just ignore that because that’s evil?” asks a liberal woman.

“Why are you even asking? The obvious answer is yes.” says JFK.

“Jack are you being serious or are you mocking us and our stupidity?” asks a non-binary person.

“To be honest that’s not easy for Lacey to tell because it seems like I’m being 100% serious.” says JFK.

“So you hate women? Jack, you just hate women?” a female Satanist in the Illuminati asks in shock.

“What if we just attack her sense of reality on behalf of evil?! Wouldn’t that work?!” asks Wobbly gleefully.

“No…that would not work and you’re so into New Age ancestral worship…and then we try talking to you and you ignore us.” says Mary Kennedy. “Because if it’s actually Christianity that’s correct and we’re in Purgatory we sound like your conscience because that’s how screwed up your sense of reality is.

“So let me get this straight. You guys want Lacey to think that she’s homophobic because you wanna think she’s homophobic but in reality you guys are homophobic and you’re really just catty bitches.” says another narcissist. “And I bet that your main contention with her is about issues of social class and has been since 2016 and now it’s escalated to women’s rights, France, international war, the fate of the American country and the abolition of all gay rights because you people can’t figure out what reality is?” asks a gay man.

“Calm down, calm down, calm down, calm down, calm down now!” says Mr. Blue in a panic.

“So you’re probably trying to actively kill her right now?” asks Lem’s sister.

“Yes she’s on her second anabiotic and we are in dogged pursuit of her dying. We study ways to try to kill her.” says Mr. Blue happily.

“But there was a man yesterday who looks like you and she thought he was ugly.” says Lem’s sister. “You have no moral high ground.“

“She has a tooth that could kill her that she got because of what you did to her mouth with her second braces. She has another infection that could kill her because of what you did and you’ve been trying to find ways to kill her and get her to jump out of windows and get her to choke and get her to fall…for seven years. You’ve had murder in your heart for seven years…and you’re dumb enough to think that doesn’t matter. And that really is your only saving mercy outside of Christ. Your absolute stupidity.” says JD Rockefeller.

“OK we can problem solve! We can solve us. It’s not a problem.” says Wobbly cheerfully. He’s being serious. “She’s gonna die. I’m gonna kill her! I’ve killed other people so…it’s not that hard to do! You just can’t-you can’t give up.”

“So they’re attacking her and that the Kennedys insist that it’s not about social class because they believe they’re higher socially than her and they see her is trailer trash trying to get something from them and I’m sure they doesn’t help that. She wondered if she was an illegitimate part of their family for years, because of how much she looks like David in her eyes. Even though I can almost guarantee you, she never had any plans to contact them regardless of what DNA evidence she found because I don’t think she probably thought that would make sense. So essentially the only reason that they even know that she wondered is because Mr. Blue stalked her psychically, and then she talked to him and discover the Illuminati in the process. And otherwise they would have no idea that she even exists.

I repeat, they would have no conscious idea that she even exists at all. The only reason any of them know that she exists…is because there’s a secret society that she accidentally discovered. Not that and she wasn’t obsessed with the Illuminati. She accidentally discovered it and didn’t even know what it was until you told her probably in some heartless way.” says a woman reading in the perfume community.

“So you think that Lacey is in the same social class as Casi because the Kennedys say so?!?!” says Lem’s father, breathless.

“We’ve never said that! We’ve never been communicating with her on this blog and if anything happens to us it’s her fault because we don’t do things to cause things to happen to us. We are 100% innocent in every way all the time! We are like God, everyone in our family.” says Smobbly completely sincerely and seriously.

“Ah..that’s insane!” says a Catholic priest.

“No, we really are that innocent and that’s what I’ve always been told and that’s the truth!” says Smobbly.

“Some parents tell their kids things that are truthful. I don’t think your father was faithful to your mother and that’s a sin.“ says the Catholic priest.

“No I think he might’ve cheated a few times but you know it wasn’t ever anything big and mom says that dad only cheated on rare occasions if he cheated at all, she’s not even convinced he cheated at all. She might’ve just flat out told me a few times that he didn’t cheat, like it was the absolute truth.” says Smobbly.

“And you believed her?” asks the Catholic priest.

“I don’t think mothers ever lie.” he says with heartache.

“You really still believe that somewhere in your head?” asks the Catholic priest.

“They always seemed so happy together so it’s not that hard to believe her. That’s what I remember. I remember them being very happy together every time I saw them. Dad, he really made her happy so that it’s easy to believe a lot of what she says.” says Smobbly.

“Then why is she so desperate to believe a lie?” asks Lacey.

“Let’s do a real quick recap Bobby, I was raised wealthy, arguably, as wealthy as your mother was raised. And then I was wealthy too. I may have been off the books worth $100 million in today’s money. That’s a lot of money. And one way or another I am her father. If she had seen photos of me, she would’ve never wondered if anyone else was her dad because we look that much alike. Bobby, I might be somewhat Dutch or German kind of like your mom. And your brother looks vaguely like her son. But not because they’re related because we have similar ancestry. And all of this nonsense about how race isn’t a thing genetically is actually classist bullshit; it’s atheist, backward nonsense. She couldn’t make sense of herself and she didn’t know that many people who look like her and he did and that’s really all there was to it and she’s told you that all over a dozen times, literally. She still doesn’t know if I’m her dad genetically, and it’s a mystery to her because she doesn’t look that much like her parents. She looks like them somewhat, but not enough for it to be comforting to her, especially considering her trauma being raised by them. And if I actually am her biological father, it’s brilliance on her part and self preservation not some trailer trash scheme to get some thing out of you. It’s not common for someone to know the name of their birth mother, her occupation, her reasons for abandoning them based on fact, and have the mistress of their potential father obsessively trying to contact them their entire childhood until she gave up or got too old and died.

You don’t know for a fact that she’s not your niece and that scares you because you’ve come onto her if there’s an Illuminati. And you don’t know for a fact that I’m not her birth father, and that I didn’t hold her for two months, and then give her up thinking it was for her own good. And if I am her birth father, let me tell you something you’re an idiot, because I was an extraordinarily powerful man and I don’t even think you have a clue who I am.” says Tom Banks.

“Do you just think your grandfather ran the entire bootlegging circuit and then it was all just him?” asks a dead Pillsbury.

“The Pillsbury’s may have known her father there’s a reason Louis is involved and Elliott is involved with her dad being who he is. See…we’re operating outside of time and he really is either her biological father or he is so become her father that it doesn’t even really matter and God has just made it that way. If you believe in reincarnation, you might think that he had been her father and then just stole it back that might not be in the Bible. The problem is the Bobby…if you’re reading this, it’s real. …She doesn’t know if she’s lost her mind and she worries about you or if it’s possible that there’s an actual Illuminati that hates you or if you really are this Wobbly person who’s obnoxiously stupid. I’m sorry, I really hope that’s not you right?” says Betty White.

“So what if Tommy Banks isn’t her father, we’ll say as unlikely or impossible as that actually may be?” says Thelma.

“Even if Tommy Banks is her father and he owned a $1 million dollar house next to a prestigious lake. And OK he probably could’ve contacted any president that ever existed through back channels and had long in person conversations with them. And he on the farm that would be worth $30 to $40,000,000 in today’s money considering where it was so what? At a cabin where he went hunting and fishing with Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall and Clark Gable and Carol Lombard and they were good friends with them. I don’t care if your sister sold Chanel regularly to Betty Grable. It’s not like being a Kennedy!”says Wobbly with certainty and confidence.

“Bobby, I couldn’t have been elected without her father’s approval.” says JFK.

“Yeah…but his approval and 30 other men like him in the United States, so what!” says Wobbly.

“And then weirdly he got shot, but so what, right?” asks a perfume hater.

“And honestly I have a feeling her Nesheim family is more legitimately old money than you; it’s just who they are. It’s the whole silversmiths thing and getting knighted by a king in Europe in the 1950s. Class isn’t just about money even though money is very much a part of it but the British understand that. It it’s complicated and there is high society but then there’s also the upper class and in America her family does seem more legitimately upper class than you and your family, and the Billings very well may have been too. I think that was what they were talking about earlier in this blog when they were mentioning that they’re probably wealthier, in apparently quite a few cases than people in your family. And the idea is that it becomes part of you and you understand how to keep money and attract money and until that happens to you, you can lose it and so maybe your generation won the lottery or rather your father’s generation, and then you experienced that wealth, but then your kids and your nieces and nephews in some cases may be very beholden to celebrity status, because if they try to live outside of the limelight they’re truly not rich. And I’m not convinced that there aren’t Billings that are wealthier than them around their age. There’s probably Nesheims that are wealthier around that age. And that’s what being old money is Bobby it’s like the money just kind of lingers and you and you can’t get rid of it. It’s like a curse but it’s not a curse necessarily although at times I wonder if it can be, but it does change you, and I’m not sure that people in your family were altered in that way, you included.” says a reader.

“Lacey’s neighbors offered the use of their pool and of course, Lacey probably won’t take them up on it but it’s the thought that counts.” says a dead perfume hater.

“So that comedian that molested that kid on stage is she one of your friends?” asks a perfume hater of Wobbly. “Because I’m just wondering if that’s how your niece got raped because you guys keep friends like that around the house. Or did one of you do it and that’s why she killed herself?”

“Oh, she didn’t officially kill herself and neither did I!” says Lem.

“You know if we’re going to hell why don’t you guys worry more about us and try to say more?” says Wobbly indignantly.

Roger, former GM executive laughs.

“I am not letting go of Lacey if God can forgive me if God doesn’t have me in Hell I’m not letting go of her and if God wants to correct that He can but that’s the only one who can otherwise she’s just mine and the truth is, I’ve been in love with her since she was a teenager she just doesn’t know that.” says Lem.

“I just can’t except that you were straight and that she’s not Jack.” says a Kennedy.

“Then that can’t be true because there’s no way Lem could’ve been straight if the Kennedys can’t accept that. They are my final word because they knew him better than anyone else.” says a Cherarina.

“They didn’t know him better than his parents!” says Lem‘s father.

“But his family accepted his relationship with Jack eventually and I’m sure they probably even celebrated it or they would today!” says a Millennial.

“No, not really. Even today they have literally been quoted as saying they have very mixed feelings about it because of things that they know happened that were evil in the Kennedy White House. You can misinterpret what his family says but the truth is they don’t like the Kennedys and the Kennedys know that or they’re delusional. …And Lacey has a very strong sense that there are numerous people in his family, both dead and alive who suspect he was not gay and some who may have suspected he was straight whether there are any more who would think that now or not. They did say that he would never let them say anything bad about the Kennedys, but I don’t think they’re pleased about that. I think they think that he was brainwashed and stolen from them. If you cornered them in a room and antagonized them and threatened them, they may not say that but if you really listen to what they’re saying or if you’re a ghost and you can observe things more objectively like I can…you know that they don’t like the Kennedys, and they suspect Lem was a victim of that family.” says Louis.

“So his family who are dead are like far from surprised to learn about Lacey‘s existence and to them they’re just like ‘Duh, we always kind of wondered if he was just straight and then what did they make up what happened?’” asks an actress.

“It’s worse than that. Of course you don’t know for sure, but if Lem was straight it’s far worse than that.” says his mom.

“I think it’s hilarious. I really do. I think it’s very very damn funny. I think it’s-I think it’s a real laugh riot…and I’m being serious.” says Marilyn Monroe.

“So if the Kennedys killed you, you are not surprised to find out that Lem was straight and you’re also not surprised to find out that people don’t believe that?” asks a witch. She sighs. Rolls her eyes. And then laughs. “ I think God for Marilyn Monroe because I think she’s been incredibly emotionally supportive of Lacey. I think she empathizes with her, and I think they have a lot in common but they’re not the same person. I think it makes sense that you thought they were in a way but that’s probably because there’s a similarity there not because they’re the same person.”

“I think if Lacey‘s illegitimate her and Marilyn share that in common but with the difference being that they come from two different classes. Lacey came from the upper class. Marilyn came from a lower class, even if her father actually wasn’t poor. And I don’t know which is better? Umm…having a mother who’s crazy, but loves you and a father who might love you, but is just totally irresponsible. Or having a mother who maybe doesn’t love you at all and a father who really clearly does. You know being Marilyn Monroe being able to express herself and being accepted as a sexual being…being loved by Arthur Miller, experiencing some real mutual love before death…and then dying not having to worry that your kids are gonna be tortured if you die. Or…having kids, loving them, having that experience of being a mom, being sheltered by your class and fighting for truth. That’s a horrendous comparison but love that’s why we don’t ask stupid questions in passive aggressive ways to try to make some grand complicated point. I have a sense that you were at some sort of party and you were drunk when you said that and you were around people who you were afraid of who loved Jack bitterly… and so you didn’t feel comfortable, being honest and open about how much you hated him… and resented his entire entourage, including his family… and so you decided to make some stupid, passive aggressive point that people, then misinterpreted both intentionally and unintentionally. And so you’ve been misunderstood.

And yet that’s used now by innocent seniors at Princeton who are just trying to figure out how to be gay and be accepted and think that you’re a role model when you and I both know that there is a spiritual attachment to your words that you created with God that can’t be broken. And could hurt them. And you can probably try to protect those kids and think, ‘They don’t know! They weren’t there. They don’t understand that they’re being lied to and they don’t know any better.’ But the problem is you can’t control everything because you’re not God I believe that as a witch that’s what I believe. I don’t believe we are God and I think that you can’t control all of the repercussions. And I feel bad for you, because I don’t think in that moment that you were trying to hurt innocent people. But that’s why we don’t do that Lem, right? That’s why we don’t say important things in that sort of stupid, passive aggressive way…thinking that everyone’s just going to understand somehow. People aren’t that clever! They weren’t and aren’t aware of you! They weren’t aware of themselves to that degree and they still aren’t!” she says, fuming. She calms herself. “ I I don’t think that people can handle hearing that the Kennedys killed Marilyn Monroe. There’s probably a mountain of evidence to suggest that they did it. I’ve looked into it and in my gut I think they did. That’s just what I think. I’m not God I don’t know. I’m not her. I’m not them. But it makes sense to me that you were straight because I think people can’t be that complicated and actually do see it. You do seem street that is your energy. That is how I read you as well. Jack doesn’t seem straight to me either to be honest he seems OK possibly bisexual and I’ve always kind of had that sense but that’s not what we were told. And sometimes I think that they purposely started leaking that Jack was a womanizer to hide the fact that he was gay or bisexual. Because I don’t think that they want people to know that he was that and especially they wouldn’t want people to know that you may have actually just been straight. Because if Jack was a clingy, needy, manipulative clingy is the word that really seems significant gay man and you were this confused psychologically vulnerable adults he looks pathetic not you people have said that you live you have literally said that you seem pathetic but that’s because it’s the narrative that they want people to have win in reality I think it’s entirely possible that Jack is actually the one that’s with thetic because I’ve always thought that he killed Maryland. I think he killed. I think he killed her. I think I think him and Bobby killed her I really do and I think it could easily be because she was going to tell people that he was gay among other things but that makes sense to me. And I think it’s also extraordinarily likely that you found her attractive, and that made him violently outraged. I wouldn’t be surprised if you never even if you don’t kissed her, but if you just even later, I hand on her shoulder in the wrong way, and he saw. Or made a comment about how sexy she sounded or something oh, he could just tell that you were aroused by her that was not some thing he could handle. Because Marilyn was sweet or she could be and you like sweet, intelligent, sexy women, and maybe there were a lot of women like that the jack dated, and then there’s Maryland, and you, if you found her even vaguely attractive, and he could tell no, he could handle it. And I’m of the opinion that Jack Hill Maryland out of jealousy over you and that that’s the crazy secret that you found her attractive he saw and this is just my opinion and that’s why he decided to kill her because after she slept with Bobby and then she’s gonna tell everyone that he was gay. I think he threw him into a narcissistic outrage, especially ironically if she became happy if Arthur Miller said made some comment about how much he loved her with Joe DiMaggio deciding to marry her again just pissed him off. I don’t think he could handle her affect on man and I don’t think he could handle what that meant about him and his inadequacy with you. What am I a sound all the way back to his brother and some competition he had with Joe. Possibly even with his own dad.”

“ I was aroused by Marilyn. And yeah, he probably knew that. I would never have slept with Marilyn, because like the prostitute that I used in conversation to try to suggest that I was straight, not just to impress people by seeming sexually daring. Or sexually sophisticated. I actually may have been trying to confess that I was gay, but it believe it or not it actually was more that I was trying to explain that I wasn’t just gay. At least not the way that men today would consider being gay gay. That’s what I mean. Like I wanted to suggest that I had an appetite for sex appointment to see relatable but also just because I actually had one and it meant something to me on a subconscious level. But I didn’t sleep with her or Maryland because I thought they’re women that I just I can I know I just can’t sleep with because I just don’t want to. And that’s not something Jack liked about me, or probably ever consciously admitted to himself that I literally didn’t want to sleep with Marilyn or the prostitute because of the kind of woman that they were and that actually isn’t an insult to prostitutes or Marilyn, necessarily maybe slightly, but not necessarily, it’s it’s more but that’s just not who I love that’s not what I like. That’s not what arouses me even if their bodies could or do not as much as Lacey‘s sincerely but enough so that without her there, I felt physically aroused and that’s just how the human body works And Lacey actually has empathy for that but no, Jack did not and Jack was livid.”

“ so Jack saw you smiling stupidly, probably at Maryland at some point and he thought I have never given mom that luck.” says a female Millennial.

“ and laughing stupidly. Yeah and I would’ve never slept with her. I really wouldn’t have it just wasn’t my thing. If it if I had slept with her, I think Jack what I thought I was certifiably straight, regardless of what happened with anything else. Or he might have. But no I I like press I like beautiful breasts, but I am not you know dead set on them being big and actually like Lacey is more than Marilyn’s by a long shot. But that is not some thing she could comprehend given what she’s been told. I know if Lacey had been there it’s like why would you want that because it’s not as good it’s like the difference between eating. I’m sorry if this is going to sound mean but it’s a difference doing eating an ice cube Marilyn’s an ice cube, and like an actual popsicle. Do you know if you’re really ready for a popsicle and that Popsicles not there and that’s really what you’re craving it’s just a really good popsicle or a dream sickle ice cream even… you might look at you know when freezers used to just have ice in them but you have to dethaw them. You might be time to select the freezer and that’s how I felt with Marilyn it’s like, ‘Huh…you know maybe.’

I know it’s you know if she could be an ice cube for me if she wanted her to be it it isn’t like I’m trying to say oh you know maybe I still want an ice cube. Maybe I still wanna lick my iced over freezer. It’s just she wasn’t there. She really wasn’t there and I didn’t know that she was there. If there’s reincarnation, I knew she wasn’t there. I thought she might not love me and if there isn’t reincarnation, maybe Maryland as happy as it sounds just reminded me of what I really wanted and no I wouldn’t have stuff with her because she wasn’t what I wanted But golly it was tempting and not knowing who I’m going to do it. No, it’s just it caught my eye.

And you’d be surprised how much she really wants to understand and have empathy fish. No it’s I don’t want Maryland. I just genuinely it sounds like a lie but no genuinely she may have reminded me of what I wanted and I just wanted that and-and then I saw it and I looked and I thought it was really great and I laughed and I probably swoon a little over her and yeah Jack might’ve seen that he really might have.” says Lem.

“ Lem’s I’m gonna be daring today and I’m gonna hope that Lacey post some thing from the 20s. Even the Art Deco Period. because if she does, I’ll know that I’m protected and saying this because I am a witch I’m not a Christian and I don’t see why protection is coming from God, but I do believe that people protect me and if she post some thing from the 20s I’ll know that her father is protecting her results and Scott are protecting me or maybe even Harold lope, or do you know what if she prefers to just say God’s protecting me fine because I actually think she really thinks God might want to. I’m getting the sense that she’s going to post something out from the 1800s to which is interesting as possible Lacey Burgess praying for me and Purgatory that’s a response me to add potentially.

Lame was there a Norwegian woman or a Swedish woman? Who’s at the White House around the time that Jackie died for a reason? Did they know that you had an attraction to Scandinavian women? It scares me to say it, but is that white check dated Inca? Is that why he thought Grace Kelly was attractive because he knew that was actually your type? Because I think Maryland might’ve been a little Norwegian right or Swedish. And so is Lacey they’re both Scandinavian and I wonder if that actually was your type and Jack knew that. Or he studied you overtime and figured it out but that was what you found attractive because Pamela Anderson has kind of a Scandinavian look. You like Scandinavian women with great boobs. And that’s great. And I wonder if the CIA knew that.

And if they maybe were trying to even warn Jack that they were going to kill him. Not as I’m saying this I get a very strong sense of this year. I really could’ve been trying to warn Jack that he was toast. Did you have something to do with Jack’s murder or if you did was it even some thing you were aware of?”

“ i’ll just put it this way. If I had something to do with it I was tired of being raped.” says Lem. “ and if I pretended to be gay after that, it was to cover up for the fact that I had something to do with it which is something Lacey knows that I may have been covering up for murdering him by not letting my family say anything bad about him by saying I loved him by you know being passive aggressive by not wanting to talk about it, but pretending to be gay no, I am very well may have done all of that and then try to kill his nieces and nephews by getting them addicted to drugs, because I thought they were just as bad as him throw. She knows I may have been killed by Bobby. When he realized that I wasn’t gay, I wasn’t in love with him and that I am I wasn’t here, but it was. So it’s possible a lot of the stories you hear a lot of it is an evidence-based construed as evidence is actually just a cover-up because I actually killed Jack and I might’ve even thought I was gay but that I was messed up and then maybe I realized before I died that I wasn’t even gay at all. So it’s like there was something wrong with me and I couldn’t quite figure it out but I still wanted women and then they thought Jack was trying to you know hold me hostage and then later I realized that I am I wasn’t even gay at all. But that’s a very dark version of events isn’t it?

It’s not quite that terrible and that I didn’t decide to kill him. It’s possible that to a lesser degree I decided, but it wasn’t my idea. It’s possible that they decided because they truly believed that I was straight but they couldn’t quite articulate psychologically and they wanted me to kill him and so I agreed to it. Or it’s possible that I didn’t agree to it but I knew you were going to do it and I wasn’t able to stop them and good conscience. Or as possible that I didn’t know, and they orchestrated it so cleverly that I truly had nothing to do with it, and I didn’t even know. And in that case it’s possible they later told me. Or another dark possibility is that I didn’t know that I was a reason why until I died.” says Lem.

“ Dick Van Dyke is it is it it was Mary Tyler Moore. And Mrs. Billings did need our help, and Marilyn Monroe was a victim. Did Marilyn’s death actually mean something to people if there is an illuminati yes it did. They were not happy that she died. And that might be why JFK Junior died after Stanley Kubrick’s film. Because we weren’t happy that Amanda died if there is an illuminati, that is a boomer liberal lie.” says Louis.

“ the Hartford‘s room Cape Cod open who is she actually was that Nicole Kidman making love? No. Was that a Alys Harvard making love? no. That was Lacey with a perm and Lem. Not Joe that was lame. That’s how lame looked that love scene in Cape Cod. Might’ve been funny to Joe because Joe actually does have a very good sense of humor and he’s not uptight. And he may have wanted to warn his niece and nephew against the idea of taking flight as a Kennedy. He was a captain from Cape Cod who flew planes and came to a very bitter end except actually, you know, he exploded, didn’t implode, but it wasn’t the worst way to die. But given that you know JFK Junior wasn’t going to be in war, he probably wasn’t going to be as happy of an end. There was no way he could say there was no way he could say, and so do nothing he could say.

And then, of course, the irony is that you know it one was in at a hotel for a split second. He was at his house, presumably, and his brothers bed against his will, and we know once to him consciously at the time. Based on what Lacey seems to be hearing. And if that’s the case, then no lamb was held hostage and it wasn’t a hotel. It was his house and if he had brought Lacey there, his wife wouldn’t have been saying all that lamb was gone. She would’ve been sleeping with him and she would’ve taken her daughter with her and then that would’ve been the end of his marriage. Would he have ever seen his daughter again I don’t know. Does Jack know? Does Joe even have a daughter? This is Stanley Kubrick does does Joe even have a daughter?” says Jerome.

Edith Beale laughs.

“ he might not. And truthfully speaking, JFK, Junior Macy, Aristotle Onassis says more of a father figure now that is our father. And that is not something we share happily. Aristotle asses likes to make a joke about how Jack Junior died for Jack’s sake. Lame doesn’t feel comfortable explaining what really happened right now. And yet Joe would like to talk more about Eyz Wide Shut.” Jerome says laughing. “ apparently it really bothers him that no one sees the symbolism of that film that he may have actually worked very hard to inspire using the Holy Spirit.”

Edith rolls around laughing.

“ because he like to print out that he touched woman’s titties if he had been married to Lacey and that’s part of the problem they can’t take that seriously because if there’s an illuminati, she’s some freak to them and that’s all I can think of even if it’s a completely absurd to think that. But let’s just say her and Joe really did have, and still have a very strong connection that just isn’t of the magnitude as what she has with Lem. Or possibly even with Michael. Or even with Louis but if there was still something there, that was very real and to them, it matters, but it’s not the best answer so to speak. So he’s irritated that people don’t see that Dr. Hartford touches women’s tits for medical reasons. And they’re great I think his creators his wife’s maybe not but then that’s a personal preference about size. And the argument that he could’ve easily had with Lacey in the White House would have been when I cheat on you does it matter. Because Jack had medical reasons right, he needed to do that for medical reasons. Joe didn’t have medical reasons, but that was an allusion to excuses Kennedy men make. And of course, the question would’ve been would she have believed his lie or not and I don’t think he thought that she would’ve mostly because she would’ve been in love with One and she would’ve thought this is hogwash you and I both know that we’re not happy and that you’re getting your needs met in a very clinical cold almost medical medicinal way. And then you have to ask who is domino well that could’ve actually been allusion to the 21st-century domino Pizza and if there is an illuminati, who is that who is he tempted to actually fall in love with or is he more in love with Amanda and who is Amanda a movie star? I think Pat Wilson felt like she was shunned by her clientele after her first marriage, and that it was hard for her to marry as well after that, and domino if she’d had aids, that would’ve been the end of her career as well domino is Pat. Pat survived off of med to some degree. And she’s part of an aristocracy that in the 21st-century tolerates child hostage sales. But this domino herself really identify as domino unlikely she read sociology she clearly has a soul, and I think that would be his way of saying that no the British aristocracy may be really wasn’t as evil as a fan made out to be. If JFK Junior had lived, he suggests that Lacey would’ve thought that Lem might love her, but he didn’t live. Because on a certain level, it looks like a Lem’s slept with Jack to avoid being accountable gor being Godly to a vicious, rotten regime. And that kind of cowardice is not something that she would think it’s tolerable because it means that the man doesn’t love you anymore or you just lost him completely.

Hugh Hefner does not like the Kennedys in case, if you’re curious. He thinks that love was an eccentric old bat. I was obviously fully capable of being in love with Lacey and faithful to her, but how would she ever know that?

A man I mean hello if you watched them sleeping together in Eyz Wide Shut, I was very masculine he was clearly attracted to Marilyn Monroe. He was clearly attracted to Lacey and no he’s just he made himself into sort of a nitty, but that doesn’t mean that he wasn’t actually straight doesn’t mean that they didn’t kill Marilyn That, which is right he’d like to say.

Marilyn was a good actress plumbers a good actor. Some people are very good at pretending to be someone that they’re not for convoluted reasons. And getting back to the Kennedy White House that never was no the question is did Joe ever sleep with Domino and if he had slept with domino what does that mean? Because he doesn’t the cell phone rings he you know the phone the phone he answers the phone and his wife’s on the other end phone calls mean something to Joe. But no, he actually slept with Pat probably and it was different than it was with anyone else and what happens if Dr. Harvard sleeps with with Domino?” asks Jerome.

“ does he fall in love with Domino well he would’ve definitely gone back and when does he stop going back? Does he ever stop going back if she doesn’t get aids if they have no way of anyone if no one ever finds out and he can confide in her and tell her things about what’s happening that you can’t tell anyone else does he ever stop?” asks Joe Jr..

They all think.

“ no he does not. He ends up sleeping with her for the rest of their lives presumably and then eventually when he leaves his wife, does he marry her? I don’t know maybe maybe not.” says Joe Jr.. “ it’s possible with me the British aristocracy so angry at me was that I was treating her like a prostitute that I was just using temporarily before I went home.”

“ does Jack ever watch Eyz Wide Shut, and have like an epiphany or no?” asks a gay man.

“ he never sees the symbolism either. He just thinks it’s a boring field and he has a hard time staying awake.” says Joe.

“ why are you guys so attached to the idea that you’re above Lacey socially it doesn’t really make sense I mean there’s an argument he made because of the whole farm thing does farms are dirty. But farms are also like tens of thousands of acres of land that they owned. Privately. You guys have never owned that much land you sailed but you didn’t only ocean you never had tens of thousands of acres that were just yours. You have no idea what that’s like and it is very different. And I’m sure that she’s tried to explain to you what it’s like to walk around on your own property knowing that you could walk for a mile and you’d still own it or that you could theoretically die walking on your own property because there’s so much property and there’s like wild animals and stuff on it. Is that something. That was actually kind of scary when you’re a little kid, you must put a sense of dread, but then also give you a sense of self that is wildly different than just owning a house. Also, these people ruled that area back then, and probably had for decades they were in authority in the area. You didn’t mess with those people. When do the when do the Kennedys ever say that about Cape Cod that they rule the entire day of Cape Cod they never did they never had that much authority in that area. The protestant there, Norwegian they’re not Irish Catholics. There’s that angle to. I’m sorry to have to bring that up but that means something to some people.

But getting down to brass tacks, you guys were not silver, smiths and tutors and professors back in Ireland. And the people who are dirt poor and Lacey’s family made millions overnighted by a king. You had a Normas amount of wealth and power and you still clearly do if I’m talking to you in the illuminati. But I think you’ve totally underestimated how powerful her family actually could make themselves and their social class in comparison to you. Because as much as illuminati wants to pretend to be the super elite, I’m not convinced anymore that you guys really are I have a feeling that there are some of you are and serve you who are under that impression of yourselves, and then some people who are really just being used who are adults.

One really obvious symbol that stands out to me is how Sydney Pollack, who does para striking resemblance to Lem’s it’s undeniable. Is sleeping with Amanda. And using a speedball. Except he doesn’t use it. He doesn’t have a problem she does. If he dies ironically, it’s a heart problem in real life. His wife is a lot younger than him too and I have a feeling it was consensual, and they were in love. And who is the painting of nobody in the movie? But in real life, he didn’t sleep with Marilyn and it’s possible that they actually really did care that she died. I think that Mary Mary, Tyler Moore and Dick Van Dyke we’re innocent but if you watch the episodes right before Jack is killed, they are a little creepy they really are.

And the night that someone moved a toy in St Paul in a very old building in Lacey’s living room at the time that she was staying in was the same night if I’m not mistaken, that Louis told her that they use the Dick Van Dyke show to communicate secretly with each other it’s a plot, killing JFK. How do you not see these things if if there is an illuminati and this is why I wonder if you’re in it or what’s going on I’m with her I’m confused to if she’s channeling me and I’m a witch. How do you see these things wobbly and not realize how weird they are? I don’t think Louis Hill Junior’s family has anything to do with anything that you should be worried about. You’re probably on the same side with them. With vaccines. But I think you should be more aware of the fact that you’re really not hearing things and they’re just going over your head because you don’t like them.” says a witch. “ and maybe this is just conspiratorial nonsense, right just a bunch of weird coincidences. But maybe they had a moral reason to take your uncle out but then they didn’t realize that he was just the tip of the iceberg and that there were so many things wrong and then everything blew up and there was Vietnam and something tells me that was really hard on Louis specifically because he really wanted to try to fix things and then he found out that, there was too much to fix and not doing some thing as Heynis as having to assassinate a world leader still wasn’t enough. I will leader who is bludgeoning people with the back of a gun getting people high, was high himself all the time on meth and cocaine was killing movie stars because they pissed him off for petty reasons. Was bringing United States to the brink of genuine nuclear war. I would bet on more than one occasion. And you think the heavy he’s just the problem maybe his family is just the problem but I know turns out it’s not just hip and then what are you do people say it’s just the 60s things are changing Louis get a grip. That must’ve been devastating to him to realize that it was far more complicated than he anticipated.”

“ I have a hard time believing my father was that exceptional and his own family.” says wobbly.

“why!?” asks Joe Jr..

“ people compared to a lot to jacked and they especially lame?” asks the witch.

“ yeah, that was a compliment!” says Wobbly indignantly. “ haven’t you read that he transferred all of his romantic feelings from my uncle onto me after my father was killed because that’s what happened that’s historical fact, I mean I experienced it. He was a doting, loving father figure who just couldn’t help being in love with me it wasn’t pedophilia I was just incredibly attractive, unusually brilliant man.”

“ see that’s obviously narcissism, but I have a hard time believing I have a hard time believing that Louis was that powerful compared to my family.” says Smobbly.

“ and yet you don’t seem perplexed by the idea that he might’ve slept with Lacey if you brought her with you to his apartment in New York?” asks a man.

“ oh, no, no.” says Wobbly.

“Why?” asks Bobby Sr..

“ what I mean that’s just makes sense? It’s like she’s there and he can’t resist her, so he just sense of sleeping with her and then in their case they fall in love.” says Wobbly.

“ but then how is he gay and how is he falling in love?” asks a woman.

“ well, it’s possible that I subconsciously internalized his message that there are no real gay men and so it would make sense to me that if a beautiful woman was there and she was interested in sleeping with you, you might as a man sleep with her even if you were gay. And then I guess he falls in love with her because he’s gay. And that sounds stupid but that’s the way I think that’s how I was raised.” says Wobbly.

“ so you think being faithful makes you gay, but that sleeping with women doesn’t make you straight?” asks a woman.

“ believe it or not I might be trying to be honest about what I actually have internalized is my value system and my psychology and yes, that is what I think” says Wobbly.

“ so you think being faithful makes you gay even if it’s just to a woman and then not being able to resist her it’s just part of being a man?” asks a gay man. “ so is your theory that gay men marry women, and stay faithful because they’re gay?”

“ yes.” he says.

“ wow you’re the creepy truth is I actually hear what you mean.” he says in shock. “ I internalize that bazaar ally myself.. it’s almost like being gay is being straight and being straight as being gay like, did you sleep with lots of women you’re straight here’s it here’s here’s here’s the thing, though you don’t know who I am. I happen to think Anderson Cooper is almost 100% gay. But let’s just say in some crazy world that he met Lacey and found her attractive. Would you think he was still gay or would you think he was legitimately straight if he was faithful to her be honest. Or would you not even care anymore and you were just think he was special in a way that you’re not?” a man asks.

“ here’s an even creepier question what if Nicole Kidman had accidentally wandered in to that meeting which she had ended up sleeping with many men and laughing at her husband?” asks Stanley.

“ did that even happen was that the deleted scene that they took her out of her sleep, or that they somehow had astral sex with her or that someone slept with her in her bed and then left the mask behind.” asks a man.

“ I would think that Anderson Cooper was special but I don’t like to admit that. And I don’t think anyone in our family wants to admit that Lem’s seems capable of that too. Kind of like Michael. I know Lacey doesn’t just fantasize about sleeping with the captain. Is Michael straight? He might not have been. He might’ve been mostly straight, but a little bisexual, which means that he prefers women, but he sometimes for men attractive whether he does anymore not. I’m not gonna speculate on Anderson Cooper. I have a feeling love might’ve just been straight. I don’t know, but if that’s his ghost, he seems violently adamant about it I mean really I I get the sense that she’s almost afraid and that’s not a good thing Bobby she’s scared and they’re witches. I can verify that it scares her to think that he could be bisexual or gay it’s almost like she’s being yelled at to think that he was straight and she doesn’t know what to make of it.” says Smobbly. “ I have a feeling that if he was straight he’s yelling at her. Can you imagine Cineplex character getting angry? Can you be terrifying? Can you imagine Sidney Polak, pretending to be gay yeah, he probably would be rather convincing at it. Would he be able to resist someone like Lacey probably not. I don’t think Amanda was really his ideal. I don’t know what his wife looks like but no he probably had an ideal and I don’t think that Napa be able to resist that woman. He will probably be able to resist drugs, but he is if it’s an interesting temperament. And I think he just can’t be evil in that way it’s just not his personality he knows better. At least he understands that so her problem with us isn’t that it’s like a human Jack had this great relationship and Jack just didn’t understand. You know Lebanese Jack could meet there both insane or he really wasn’t even care is not something. No it’s that we treated him like crap and then we can’t let go of him and he insists that we were holding him hostage and that Jack was a sadistically manipulative bitch.” says Smobbly.

“When it comes down to it I’m going to protect her and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it.” says Michael about Lacey.

More later.

A quick explanation

“If there is an Illuminati I am exasperated with him at this point so I’m starting a blog post just to complain.” says Lem. “I was not gay.” he says slowly. “I was straight. I did not enjoy giving Jack his medicine. I loathed it. It repulsed me. And by giving him his medicine I mean giving him a hand job and a blow job. It’s the same thing. Just…getting him off. And I didn’t invite myself over in a sexual way. Ever.

I may have invited myself over to have a friend and you could argue that I was trying to have a relationship and enjoy sex with him. But it wasn’t in the way that you insist and I’m speaking to to the Illuminati, if they exist. It was never successful and I didn’t enjoy it and I have said that. I never wanted it from him because I didn’t like it. It was just yuck and I tried I tried I tried to receive it. I tried it in every orifice that a man has and it just wasn’t good, it wasn’t good. I hated it and there were a few boyfriends that tried, and I tried to fall in love with them and they got frustrated because I never really gave them what they wanted out of a partner because I just wasn’t attracted to men at all. And that’s why if I hadn’t had Jack, I probably would’ve gotten married because I would’ve gotten lonely with no one to do anything with. And my family would’ve insisted on it, but he he never let me get lonely. He insisted that I be with him.

If I wasn’t bisexual, and I am being heard correctly and I am Lem because it’s pretty certain I was attracted to women and I don’t think Lacey can doubt that too easily although she can’t somewhat, but if I’m Lem and I was straight, no I I would’ve possibly gotten married. I might not have, but I might’ve gotten married to a woman and that’s because most men aren’t narcissists. Most men aren’t possessive freaks who invite you over constantly and then insist you’re the one with the obsession and the problem. …I mean I could get myself off better than any man could. One man ever did and yeah, I closed my eyes thought of women, but I could do that at home. Better than he could…and it was nice not being touched by a man. Because I actually found that repulsive, I was just too nice and two confused to realize how repulsive I found it. I found it repulsive I guess you could say. …No, he was the possessive freak in the relationship and I was a fool.

It doesn’t seem likely does it? No it doesn’t seem likely at all. But what a clever way to get out of it and still seem straight plausibly or definitely bisexual, even if he was really mostly just gay. And no I, I made a fool of myself my entire life I made a total tikfool of myself until my last few years and people don’t maybe know that, but I did start to realize that I was straight if I was, I did, and I had some moments. I might have enjoyed watching figure skating for the women not the men. And people might not have realized that or they might have. Or you know, I might have let myself just enjoy the thought of being with a woman in a different way, but of course that led me to be incredibly sad and that may have been why I killed myself.” He laughs. “And there’s really no evidence that I ever enjoyed it and what I’m saying isn’t absolutely 100% true. There’s actually a ton of evidence in the opposite direction because that’s what actually happened. He was probably what he was pretending I was. And when his father said, ‘I took care of him,’ he didn’t just mean saving his life? …I took care of Jack non-sexually like you take care of a lover, but it wasn’t in the same way I took care of Lacey today and taking care of her is horrifying, even if she dies it’s gonna be awful. I don’t want her to die and yet I do…it’s awful.

I don’t want her to die…or…live…it’s just an awful experience.

I didn’t feel that with Jack. And people think I was so devastated when he died, but I wasn’t. I’m making her say that by the way, because that’s so contradictory to the narrative…but I wasn’t that sad. I was sad my life had been totally permanently altered, I felt like my life had ended…and I might’ve even said stuff like that and then people thought that I meant that I was devastated and consumed with grief for him. But I wasn’t I wasn’t the saddest widow. I think Jackie was…I was never his widow in the way that I thought I could be, and I certainly wasn’t legally. No, she was.

She was the saddest widow in the entire family not me! Well…Ethel might’ve been too…but Jackie really was profoundly devastated. …Maybe Ethel was? You know I don’t know…maybe there’s not a competition. No, maybe they both were but ironically I really wasn’t. I was consumed with the end of my life as I knew it. Because to me it was the end of my life and people never wanted to hear me. They I thought I was just…just this overly emotional you know ridiculous sort of flimsy person and that’s not who we are. That’s how people interpret Lacey too…

We are deep and self-aware. And I knew that my life really was over because he was my first love in my…misunderstood life. First person I got oral from as you learned in my last post. First person I ever gave oral to. And I mean I took those things extraordinarily seriously as I would’ve with a woman. And it wasn’t that I wanted to give that to him. It’s that I gave that to him and then I took that seriously for the rest of my life practically not you know forever, but I took it very seriously until my last few years. …And then I thought…oh I don’t want to tell you what I thought.

But the thing is, I thought he was my job. I thought he was my sort of-my ward in a way. And it was my duty to take care of him, and I did giving blow jobs for medical reasons. And I wanted to try to keep him from falling apart. To keep him from having to suffer psychologically or whatever as he insisted that he was profoundly exasperated from not being able to have someone get him off. …’I’m tired of getting myself off!’ he may have even said. And ‘I need you to get me off! I just need someone else to touch me!’ you know…and I knew that he wanted a man to touch him…and I was trying to be that man, but I hated to be that man and no I really…I…I…I was very pissed off at Jackie for not getting him off.

That was her job. It was her job not mine. She was supposed to be his wife…and then I was supposed to get him off in the White House anyway?! …And no I said no sometimes. I didn’t want it and then he would beat me actually with the back of a gun while he was high on cocaine on my head to try to get me to have sex with him. Anal sex or possibly even oral…because believe it or not I started to get sick of it at that point…because he was starting to irritate me in general. He was very…he was becoming more aggressive and I was becoming less interested in trying to humor him as time went on.

Truthfully, there were a few years after he died, that I had some counseling potentially and realized that I was straight and tried possibly even dating women. And then Bobby drug me back into it and I know…I mean it’s just…it was like I tried to be gay to please people and no I, I’m pretty sure Joe saw me giving his son oral sex and that was a joke when he said I took care of him.

But he never saw Jack taking care of me, that’s for sure. Because he couldn’t. And I mean Bobby Senior by the way. …I felt like I was gonna break free potentially and then I got pulled back into the woods…and I wanted out. Bobby Senior was possibly being bisexual, or he wanted me to pretend for other reasons. They all did.” says Lem.

“Oh, my word.” says an Illuminati woman in shock.

“You know, but even if he wasn’t bisexual…I still felt pressured somehow. Maybe it just somehow would’ve devastated them if I’d married someone after Jack died because I think they wanted me to be sad. I wasn’t that sad. I really wasn’t sorry Gore, I wasn’t that sad. I wasn’t the saddest widow. Some gay fantasy that I was the saddest-but I wasn’t that sad. I was consumed by the fact that my life felt like it was over, and I literally said that. But no, I couldn’t have literally meant that? …Oh no, that’s that’s not right. I had to mean somethings secretive and stupid. …I could’ve just been well you know, self-aware enough to realize that never having been married in my 40s…having lived the majority of my life thinking I was gay…it was going to be extremely difficult to redirect myself and try to live the life of a straight man at that point. But I wouldn’t have even done that because I genuinely thought that I was gay until my last few years.” He thinks. “And…if she’s hearing correctly, and I went on dates after Jack died, it was it was it was like an episode of The Andy Griffith Show and they were chaste women and were pleasant enough, but they were older, and I just wasn’t that attracted to them because they weren’t that good looking.”

“So you think if Bobby wasn’t bisexual that you felt like you had to pretend that you were in love with his brother on a certain level to maintain in his mind this idea that that you loved him whereas if you moved on…they might’ve wondered if you killed him was that part of it? Or…or was it just that you didn’t want to seem like you’re moving on too much because they were really the ones that were overwhelmed and they projected all of that onto you?” asks a woman in the Illuminati.

“Those are excellent questions. I don’t entirely know. I felt the need if he wasn’t bisexual and I’m not saying clearly either way she does listen but I am dead so it’s not always easy to tell 100% what I’m saying…and then she doesn’t say anything until it’s clear enough…and this is unclear, but if I wasn’t bisexual, she knows this because I’m saying it through her. I may be controlling her voice right now because I can. Anyway…I felt like they wanted me to be that sad, yeah.” says Lem.

“Were you more devastated when Bobby died?” asks a woman.

“I was devastated for Jack’s kids and his wife Jackie when he died…but when Bobby died I knew something was amiss. …If I didn’t have a relationship with him that he forced on me through desperation on his part, then yes. I actually was more sad when Bobby died. Bobby, if he wasn’t worse than Jack or as bad was a kind man, and it was far more devastating on a human level. …He was that family’s last hope for the most part, and I watched them grieve so much and it was hard to watch them lose him.” says Lem.

“And if you if he did try to have a relationship with both you and Jackie, I take it that you probably didn’t grieve him more than Jack but you still felt that something was amiss, is that correct?” asks a woman.

“Pretty darn close to exactly correct.” says Lem.

“I think what people can’t quite fathom Lem is that if Lacey was there suddenly you would’ve realized you were straight and slept with her. How is that psychologically possible?” asks a Gen. Z woman.

“I dated unattractive women every time I dated someone. The truth is there are flaws about me and she doesn’t see them as flaws. They actually make her want me more. …But a lot of people saw them as flaws and actually, I was an extraordinarily handsome man. I was very handsome as a teenager. I was extremely handsome as an adult but that’s just objectively speaking. …I had flaws…and a lot of women because I sounded effeminate and that scared them…focused on my flaws…and I just didn’t have attractive women throwing themselves at me and I was probably not surrounded by that many women who are that much like Lacey anyway if there were really any women who were even at all like her, and I say that because there are women like her in that generation, even if they’re not her, and I know that they’re not her, they can’t hold a candle to her, but but they are, but they did exist. They just weren’t interested and for some reason she would’ve been. You should ask her why but I have a feeling that would be far scarier, but you should ask her.

And you can say what if they’re throwing themselves at you? You know I probably wouldn’t of slept with them. But I probably would’ve come close to it in some cases because I I was a man and I did have needs. But no she is one of my rare exception not as a gay man exception that I would’ve made for her but by sleeping with her outside of marriage.

And you could say well you slept with Jack outside of marriage! Well…yeah, but there was no gay marriage at the time first of all and honestly I just didn’t see it that way. And that’s gonna sound so homophobic, I’m sorry, but I didn’t see them as the same thing. And this is going to sound confusing, but I thought that heterosexual marriage and heterosexual intercourse was so much more serious due to pregnancy but also because I thought it meant things that I didn’t think gay intercourse ever could mean. You know I wanted it to mean pleasure and happiness and love, but I didn’t think that it could ever amount to two people becoming one the way heterosexual sex could.” says Lem.

“Why do we not want to hear what this man has to say? If this is Lem, if he’s being honest, I think he’s just being honest, I’m sorry.” says a man from the West.

“And if that’s who I think it is…people should be careful. Because I could really embarrass you all if what-if this is Lem and he was straight. I could find a way to very cleverly, embarrass people and make it so that no one would wonder if Lem was straight! No, people would just assume he was for a very long time! …I’m dead. I have free time. And it’s a hobby to me, and if Lem was straight, it might be funny to me because people probably really should know that he was straight for their own good.” says Louis.

Later.

“I can’t stand when my father brought me into this world he should have brought me into this world like 30 years earlier 40 years earlier definitely 30 or 40 years earlier. There’s no question if he could have that’s when I should’ve been born. And the only reason why I don’t like that completely is because I love my kids but if it wasn’t for them, I really don’t see why that wouldn’t have been 1 million times better.” says Lacey.

“If it wasn’t for our kids, I agree.” says Lem.

“So Lem…why do you sleep with Lacey and no one else? I get it…in your mind anal and oral are just like nonsense and straight sex is like a different thing and that’s not something you do outside of marriage because it’s the real thing and all that other stuff is just nonsense to you. And I get that you assumed Jack was experiencing it the same way you were and you just thought he had less self-control and I wonder if you thought he was more attracted to men than you were or more attracted to women or both or something or if you just couldn’t quite figure that one out so you didn’t think about it too much. But the thing is why would you sleep with Lacey? I just…it fascinates me. Do you know? What is it?” asks a gay man.

“I…don’t want to tell you. Because it’s so x rated.” says Lem rolling his eyes. “She…needs… I…refuse to describe her.” He closes his eyes. “Men read this blog.” He sighs. Leans back. Opens his eyes, staring off in irritation. He bounces his foot. Rolls his eyes. “I…have…her…key. I have the key to her…soul. And I can use it or not. And sometimes…knowing that…is…too much to resist. I know…how…I want and always wanted to feel. And that should I use that key…I’ll find exactly…what…I want.” He thinks. “Michael…Louis…they know if I fail the key is there’s. And…yet…the key is mine. And I…have…been inside briefly. And there’s no going back.

…She’s…not a drug. She’s not…a…friend. …Gay sex never got me high. …But highs always crash. And they aren’t real anyway. …She could devastate me…thoroughly…worse than anything…except for Satan…but…I wouldn’t really let her. So…”. He smiles. “If I’m not in Hell…it’s…almost too much to be separated from her this long.” He thinks. “But….we manage. …If she has died…not Jack…with no kids…I’d have lived…as a…well…I’d have died. Soon. Like her, whether we’re reincarnated or not.” says Lem.

“So…you two…are extremely exclusive?” says a man.

“Yeah. I guess.” says Lem.

“So…you didn’t decide to be fake gay…to…reject women? Right?” asks a Christian living guy with a smile.

“Except…even if there’s no reincarnation…I did.” says Lem.

“Wait…what?!” asks Casi.

“I’m complicated.” says Lem.

“Lem…you…tried to be gay…to stay celibate?” asks the male reader.

“No. And yes.” says Lem. “It’s…she wasn’t there. And I was. And…I thought I was gay. And…if there’s not reincarnation…it’s complicated…but…I knew she wasn’t there.” He thinks. “So…it had even more appeal.”

“Because you knew she wasn’t going to be there?” asks a gay man.

“I knew she would be hurt by me being with a woman who wasn’t her. And that matters to me. An incredible amount. So…it made bring gay seem…less evil to me personally. If I had been gay…or bisexual…I wouldn’t have been confused by that. But being straight…I misunderstood what I was doing by…being…subconsciously celibate in a way.” says Lem.

“But then Jack made it this huge thing, and the Kennedys made it this huge thing, and that never occurred to you like…it never seemed like it could be a problem or it did?” asks a gay man.

“You know it actually did occur to me as I got older. But believe it or not, even if there’s not reincarnation, and there might not be, we might be far more complicated than you think spiritually. I knew…possibly…she doesn’t believe me if this is me some things are very clear. This isn’t as clear. I knew…and that was part of what I figured out as I was dying those last few years, but I figured it out on an entirely subconscious level. I knew that if I had a wife or could’ve had a wife in Heaven that she was probably with someone else, because where else would she be and I had the sense that that was the case and in this way that I couldn’t quite put into words. And subconsciously I think I knew that I had done it to myself by pretending to be gay and on a certain level, probably by taking that as far as I did take it. The, ‘I loved Jack my whole life!’ and then making these passive aggressive digs at Jack saying he was a room in the White House. ‘What else was I gonna do get married?’ …I knew on a subconscious level that I had really done something terrible to myself. And I died in 1981 and she was born in 1983 so she was conceived probably less than a year after I died. So I died and 10, 9, maybe 11 months later she’s conceived. I sensed that she was going to be born into a terrible life, or I sensed that she was going to be born into a terrible life. I had the sense that something terrible was happening, or was going to happen involving her. And I knew that in all of it, she would probably end up screwing someone else and she did.

If there’s reincarnation you can bet that somehow she thought it made sense to come back, and that I was partially to blame for that somehow. And if there’s not reincarnation, I may have still known because she’s just perfect for me and I love her that much. I wouldn’t be surprised if I had had a different attitude about things God would’ve brought her into the world and let me meet her, but I really did royally mess-up because Jack really did make a huge difference in the world not just in my life, and if I was straight he ruined my life…and he did a lot of damage to everyone else too. …If I was straight, he had absolutely no business being president. It’s one of the worst things that ever happened to this country but that isn’t clear and wasn’t clear.

And God may have punished me this way because as hard as it is on her it’s harder on me seeing her suffer and watching her point of view with other people and knowing that she doesn’t even know how much I love her or how real I am for sure or anything…and there’s not a lot I can do about it other than what I am doing right now, and that’s not Hell but it’s definitely not Heaven as her suffering is my suffering and it’s awful. The film What Dreams May Come is a very creepy film. That’s her life except it’s not her reaction to it. She fights against being bitter all the time and it’s not the afterlife and I hate that movie. It’s disgusting. We’re not hopeless. We have God. But and in most ways, there’s absolutely no, but about that….but the cautionary tale is that you can’t cheat with the truth. And Hemingway understood that whether he lived by it or not. And I cheated with the truth and look how it worked out for me. If I am a ghost and God is allowing this it’s because he feels love and empathy for us and knows how miserable we both are because she was what I was worried could exist, and she’s also exactly what I’ve always wanted.

I cheated because before I was even molested I was suicidal. I would get very depressed, and I may have wanted to kill myself. Because I had a sense of what I wanted out of love, and I knew that it was this. But I wasn’t finding anyone that sensitive or that mature or that deep and yet beautiful and dangerous foreboding and yet really just sweet and humble and feminine and…just needing me. Just needing me to rescue her, that’s all. She wasn’t there and when I was molested, I thought, ‘Well maybe that’s all it is! I’m just gay! Hey maybe it’s not that I am stuck in some miserable, lonely life.’ But I was actually just stuck in a miserable, lonely life and I didn’t realize that would make me so happy in my 60s. And by happy, I mean aroused, because as I began to realize I was straight if I was straight, it was a feast for my brain to realize I wanted sex with a woman more than anything, …and that’s really all it was all those years that just kept bothering me about everything…that’s why Jack’s death was so awful. That’s why Bobby’s death was so devastating. That’s why I decided that drugs were my only option because it just didn’t work to be gay and I needed her…and if I wanted to be dead when I was young, the thought of dying didn’t scare me. She has (ah you asked) she has a sedative influence on me which actually isn’t that far move from the high I kept trying to get. The difference is that it’s a real human emotion and it’s natural and healthy and God created it – what I feel with her. But it’s extremely calming to me. And yet it’s not depressing it’s it’s perfect. It’s not a high. It’s reality. You know it doesn’t just go away. It’s just so nice and calm and yet it’s not sad, it’s just lovely. And she doesn’t know that she has no idea how much anyone but her kids would ever miss her. And I don’t want them to suffer and God gives me grace and I’m actually far far happier than I ever was alive, but it is very painful to watch her suffer.

But no…that was actually a comfort to me to realize that I really just wanted a woman. It was depressing when I was young but at that point it wasn’t depressing anymore.” says Lem.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” says Lacey.

“We needed each other. To fully exist.” says Lem. “Your side of paradise.”

More tomorrow.