Lem Billings may or may not have realized how sweet Lacey is. Elliot Roosevelt knows, Joe Kennedy Junior knows, but it always scares him… Lem Billings may know, but if he doesn’t, that’s been possibly a huge source of contention between the two of them.
“The problem is Lacey doesn’t really have an ego, necessarily in the way that other people do generally speaking.” says JFK. “As a man who was possibly bisexual while I was alive, I find that endearing. Women with no ego, who are adoring and loving, and see very pretty are nice companions to say the least.”
“And that’s where Lacey tends to run into trouble because she is such a follower in a very real way. It’s not that she lacks a spine. It’s that that’s just who she is. She’s actually quite tough even brutal if necessary. But at her core she’s all sweetness and softness and tranquility and love and humility and meekness.” says F. Scott Fitzgerald.
“She’s not a saccharine type person though. It’s just more even keel. Mellow. She’s an extraordinarily tranquil person.“ says Zelda.
“What people perceive as her warmth is actually her kindness, and what they perceive as her anger is actually probably more likely to be her anguish and hidden, deep seething rage because it’s extraordinarily difficult to make Lacey angry.” says Hemingway.
“What Lacey worries about with me is that I don’t like her absolute sweetness and adoring nature because there’s really nothing masculine about her almost at all but it seems as though that’s what I wanted. It seems I wanted someone who is entertaining and witty and full of playful ideas and notions about everything. Some effervescent soul, who is always on the go and are always full of passion and intrigue, daring, contemptuous, strong-willed, wild ideas. Someone like a Kennedyy, Joe, Jack, Bobby, someone on the edge. …Not someone quiet and always ready to listen and care. And I may or may not have realize that she would have no idea how many men in my generation want her exactly who she is. I possibly assumed somehow she realized that potentially, and that I wouldn’t have to fight men off. I thought she would protect herself because she is a very upright and proper person, but it turns out she had absolutely no idea how ideal she really actually is. …And I may have thought that she had some core of defiance or unkindness or something. I may have I may not have. That may have actually been a lie that was told to her, and that she slightly believed. …But that has been an incredibly painful thing in her life for the last few years, because it seems as though I don’t realize there’s nothing there, but sweetness and confusion, and an attempt to somehow obey the order that God created between women and men in the traditional Christian sense. …So to her it seems as though I am looking for Jack within her when really, if I was mistaken I just didn’t realize how little she understands about how much men might want her. … and I am currently trying to sort it all out because there was either respect misunderstanding. She’s been brutally lied to by the Devil or I failed to grasp how much worse things could be than I had imagined for her. …She’s not your mother she’s not your grandmother, but I don’t think most men today want what we wanted from a wife.” says Lem Billings. “Or do they?!”
“Is she just is she innocent? Lem…what is she?! …And by the way I get why she wonders if you’re straight even if you insist that you are and you’re sleeping with her…because I think she feels like you’re looking for some thing anatomically on her that she doesn’t have.” says a Millennial guy who once had a crush on Lacey.
“Like I’m looking for her to initiate everything somehow or save me or rescue me or come after me in some way psychologically even?” says Lem.
“Well are you?“ asks the Millennial guy.
“No.” says Lem.
They think.
“No it’s just I don’t think I understand from experience what it’s like to fight off other men and because I don’t understand from experience, I may have made some mistakes if I did.” says Lem.
“Didn’t you fight men off from Jack?“ asks a witch in the Illuminati.
“Not really. I never really was jealous over him. You know people think that or they did think that maybe, but no I I wasn’t being affected in that way by him. So as much as it may seem that I should understand I don’t necessarily, I might not.” says Lem.
“If you were molested and got confused, and we’re actually straight and somehow genuinely did fake gay mannerisms in some eccentric upper class, old money, artistic way, would you have been better off marrying a woman or not?“ asks a Millennial woman. “Because it seems like people get clingy with you Lem…in a way that they don’t really with Lacey. And I wonder if you would have the same problem that Harold and Louis maybe have had???”
“Like I’d some wife somewhere who was bitter that we weren’t soulmates and was bound and determined to hurt Lacey and get revenge?” wonders Lem. “I doubt that whoever I married would’ve been a problem but that’s an interesting point.”
“See Lacey knows all that Lem. She knows all that! She knows how people can be and I think that’s where you’ve got to understand where she’s coming from and be more kind and sensitive…if you haven’t been particularly kind and sensitive. Because she can’t imagine anyone ever clinging to her even if they are, because that’s not her experience at all in life. At least not from her perspective.” says Lem’s sister.
“What is she is, is old-fashioned. You keep private things, private, and if you make something public, it’s probably in a rather facetious way, or to make a point or raise a ruckus.” says Lem.
“Does she understand that you’re not gay if you’re not gay and you weren’t gay at all?” asks a Millennial woman.
“No I I I was a brilliant tragic man in the sense that I imitated homosexuality very well. If I’m not lying for some reason, and don’t bet on that then I I have spent hours explaining to Lacey at this point that I was straight and it’s possibly been my reward ha ha for making the mistakes that I made. And she has been like a saint in dealing with me. …No she has more than just my respect as a person. I don’t know how to explain it well and I don’t think I should have to. …But I’m not like the men her age and that’s some thing that she is not yet aware of almost at all. And yet I wasted my life and I have almost nothing to be proud or to show for any of the blessings and gifts that God gave me. …But she understands all that and she loves me anyway and it doesn’t diminish her. If I’m real it…just proves to me that God exists. …But none of that has anything to do with how much I love her or how much I need her. Or how much Michael wants her or how much Louis wants her. And that’s the problem that we have. That’s what she doesn’t understand.”
“So you’re like a super sensitive, artistic cerebral straight guy who probably would never cheat on his wife and would be devastated if she cheated on him?!” asks an Illuminati witch.
“Yeah. Yep. And there’s more to my personality than that but that’s I take that as a compliment and yes.” says Lem.
“So you were repressing an enormous amount of emotion, your entire life constantly after you were molested?” asks a Millennial woman of Lem.
“I was very rarely myself. I was loved by my family, but even in that case I was taught to be stoic and strong.” says Lem. “So yes, I was repressing the most intense of all my emotions, we’ll say.”
“I think we should leave you and Lacey alone and let you sort through things off our Illuminati broadcasts.” an Illuminati woman laughs. “That being said, do you actually think all gay men are all as petty and immature and insecure and violent as it seems you may think or is it possible that you just had a horrific experience and may be still even having one that isn’t indicative of all gay men?”
“I don’t think women realize how much animosity towards them gay men may secretly harbor. …That being said, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be their friend or try to love them as a person. …I just don’t think it’s wise to assume that they automatically ‘get you’ just because they’re gay.” says Lem.
More later.
Lacey got interrupted yesterday but not unpleasantly so. …The thing is if there’s an Illuminati there’s been one from while to speak. Did Louis Hill, Junior work within the Illuminati to plan JFK’s assassination by hiding images and messages in popular 1960s television shows by before JFK‘s death? To do what? To plan with the other assassins, how when and where to kill JFK. That way, they with breadcrumbs left behind on the table to indicate that there ever been any eating. It was all just hidden safely, quietly and efficiently. And what was the reason why? It may actually have been because of Lem’s Billings they may really have thought Lem’s was heterosexual and thought JFK was raping him. Eleanor Roosevelt may actually have been the one who ordered for JFK’s actual murder because she herself was not entirely straight, and she felt that Lem Billings was being raped not being made love to. Perhaps they were eavesdropping on people in the White House and they heard how unpleasant every interaction Lem had with JFK actually was and Eleanor Roosevelt verified that that wasn’t homosexual behavior. Perhaps she was repulsed and mortified by it, and felt that they, the Roosevelts, as a family were directly responsible because they acknowledged the Kennedys. And so in their honor system back in the day, the Roosevelts were responsible for the fate of the Kennedys. And but there were other offenses that he coerced sex with a 17-year-old girl, that he was sleeping with everyone else’s wife and causing chaos by making them all think that he could fall in love with himand other things as well. For example, the death of Marilyn Monroe. …It wasn’t just Lem Billings. He was probably doing a great many things that were incredibly offensive to these people. And all those reasons were worked in symbolic ways into popular 1960’s television shows right before his death? …Done so to communicate to the men sitting at home watching television the reasons why they should go through with the plan to assassinate JFK.
Desi Arnez himself may have played a part and planning the entire thing. Which is interesting, considering his ties to Cuba. And who else might have been a big part? Lacey‘s birth father, Lacey‘s actual father, Thomas Banks.
F. Scott Fitzgerald laughs.
Maybe it’s just nonsense. Or maybe Mrs. Billings needed help and someone decided to pull the trigger and put a bullet and in a board as oddly…Eleanor Roosevelt had suggested.
Crazy? Hmm. Doubtful. Nonsense? Maybe. Maybe not?
More later.
“Did the actors know?“ Desi Arnaz asks Lacey.
“Not necessarily.” says Alfred Hitchcock.
“How was Lacey‘s father involved?“ asks Desi Arnaz.
“He would have been the one to have orchestrated the entire thing.” says Alfred Hitchcock. “He was very very well-connected and very intelligent and he had a sense of how things could work and that’s all I’m gonna say.”
“Why did you people make a show of putting him in prison?“ asks a Native American woman.
“To make it seem like we weren’t in collusion with him. Why else?” says a Republican politician from the 1950’s. “If we were.”
“It’s possibly a lot scarier than one I think.” says Lacey. “Partially because this is a supernatural organization the illuminati, so it involves the supernatural.”
“Did you kill JFK Lacey?” asks a 1960’s actress.
“She would’ve sent him after the Asmats? It’s possible that I orchestrated his murder.” says James J. Hill.
“If I did, it would mean that I was reincarnated most likely, and he was raping my husband? Or I thought he just gone too far with a great many things, including that. But I highly doubt that I was the one that did it whether reincarnation is even be a thing. And I don’t think that it is by that might be just beside the point.” says Lacey.
More later.
“I want to make something perfectly clear. No matter what my orientation was, Lacey wasn’t there and I was and if had been, I never would’ve wondered if there was a happier life that I could’ve had. I never would’ve asked the question of anyone about my personal happiness because it would’ve been obvious that I was happy. I cannot imagine myself being with anyone but her and being truly happy.” says Lem.
“What was your orientation though?“ asks a Millennial woman.
“Straight.” says Lem.
More later.
“The romance between Lacey and I first started when she was 12 or 13 and she saw me and thought that I was the most attractive young man that she’s ever seen in her entire life, and every way you could find someone attractive. Later she found out that I was supposedly homosexual although she doubted it. Later she found out that I was supposedly homosexual although she doubted it. Why she doubted it is complicated and hard to express because very few people trust Lacey much at all and understanding why she doubted I was homosexual requires an element of trust in her intuition and mind and spirit and soul. But but regardless of my actual orientation, she never would’ve assumed, even if we’ve been born in the same time, that we could be together. Because Lacey saw herself as lovable and she is, but not likely to be of the same caliber as the man that she longed to be loved by. …I was far too utterly perfect, more perfect than any man should ever seen, and there was no way someone like me would ever think of her as something other than just…well nothing much.
And there I lingered in the back of her mind until 2019 on Mother’s Day. She has no idea why I came to mind but ever since I came to mind as someone that she thought would be interesting to have a conversation with…I’ve been trying to woo her and make her fall madly in love with me.
The problem is when she did start to fall in love with me she also instantly began to doubt all of it, by instinct. …And now I need to convince her that I’m sincere, even if it takes the rest of eternity.” says Lem. “And I need to convince her that she was always out of my league not the other way around.”
The next morning.
“Yes, of course part of the contention is that I seduced Lacey. I worked my way into her novel like an invasive fish and took over the entire plot-line and she hasn’t been able to finish it since in a way that’s satisfactory to her. Which, of course means that homosexuality isn’t allowed in Heaven, that she was my one exception who never showed up, that I was bisexual or that I was straight. At first she assumed that I was homosexual and had changed since dying and being with God, or that she was my one exception, who never showed up. …But then uneasiness came over her as she heard me seemingly suggest to her that that was impossible and that I had in fact been straight. …And I began seducing her more and more… I made her question things that I said snd pointed out how genuinely happy I had been when Jack and Jackie got married. I made her look at me and listen to me to analyze whether I seemed straight, gay, bisexual or pansexual and I she always sensed that there was some thing within me that was straight. Not bisexual. Straight.
And ever since then that was over a year ago she has doubted it, and I have been devastated every time that she has been wooed by someone else like Michael. But I refuse to let it go so speak, and it should be for obvious reasons shouldn’t it? …People say that I am so complicated to analyze and understand but I’m not sure if that’s true I think it’s possible that understanding me requires a certain sort of intellectual bravery and purity that not everyone today is capable of comprehending much less possessing.” says Lem.
It’s cloudy and dark and Lacey is dismayed. Then she thinks of Michael and Louis. And so she decides to let go. This is one problem she can’t sort out herself…
“I get interrupted when I’m trying to talk to her spirit often and I knew from the start that it would be hard to believe that I was being honest about anything I said, and as of today Lacey is contemplating these possibilities. …I am dead after all. And it’s possible that I had no intention of telling her that I was straight if I actually was, but I stole her from another man Elliot, Roosevelt, and it’s possible that he in retribution for that decided to insist that I tell her that I was straight.” says Lem. “Of course it’s possible that he was actually cheating on her with Faye Emerson but he may not have been happy, regardless.”
Lacey woke-up this morning thinking about Floris. She was instructed to buy Soulle Ambar.
She needs no more proof? No. She still needs proof. But…
“You’ve got to boss her around.” says Queen Elizabeth II. “If you care about her, you’ve got to boss her around.”
“Why?!” asks Prince Philip.
“Because she’s lost now.” says Elizabeth
Lacey loves the reign of King Charles III and Camilla thus far.
A Sparrow Alighted by Jóhannsson plays.
“But you have to boss her around with genuine agape love as Elizabeth is capable of. She’s our example, Lem.” says Michael Rockefeller. “Except unlike the friend that dear Elizabeth is…we have to boss her around as her eternal lovers.” He smiles. Laughs. “They think you and I are both homosexuals, Lem.” He sighs in exasperation. “And Lacey has to live with that. You know that!”
Princess Diana walks on a temperate day at Blenheim Palace. She seems solemn but casual and yet especially regal, not to upstage the monarchy but…to the contrary as a piece of the past that’s moved into a new spot.
“They’re people I’m connected to.” says Diana. “And with their ascension to the throne…I’m no longer a young underling with dashed hopes. …I’m a dead rose. Except I’m so alive!”
“You’re an epic historical figure!” says Sir Winston Churchill fondly and thoughtfully to Princess Diana as they stand in the palace rose garden.
“Yes! And a subject of King Charles III.” says Diana. “But perhaps that’s not the way to describe it. …We are affected by the living though.”
“Yes, we are.” says Michael.
“Witches understood and understand that.” says an Illuminati witch.
“But it could ironically be a Christian concept.” says Lacey matter-of-factly.
“Catholics understand.” says a Catholic Christian.
“Perhaps bothering the dead for evil reasons and purposes is dangerous!” says Queen Elizabeth II.
Sodus by Cemeteries plays.
Last night Lacey had a dream about Joe Kennedy Jr. and she grasped his hands and fell madly in love. It’s become a reoccurring dream. She had a dream about him the night Prince Philip died, so to speak. And it’s happened other times but…intriguingly last night as well.
“Are people conjuring him in my sleep to interact with me?” asks Lacey.
Jack at about 17 looks suddenly terrified as he plays touch football on the rolling green lawn of Louis Hill Jr.’s house. He freezes in place. Eyes wide open he looks genuinely horrified.
He turns around and sees Louis Hill Jr. approaching him. Louis’s hands are in his pockets.
“I’m not at home!” says Jack.
“No! You kissed Lem on my land.” says Louis. “In my very own backyard.”
“How did I get here?!!” asks JFK of Louis Hill Jr..
Paradise Circus by Massive Attack plays.
“Oh well?” Lacey asks JFK.
JFK glares at her trying to be Lem.
“Why do I have to care?” asks Lacey losing patience.
Louis Hill Jr. agrees.
“Because Kem!” says a Jezebel spirit to Lacey with blood dripping from her rotten teeth.
“I’m over Joe, I’m sorry!” Lacey says blandly to the Jezebel spirit. Lacey sighs. “And whatever this is…it has to be straightened out. I’m obviously above this nonsense.”
The exhausted Jezebel spirit looks at Lacey almost pleadingly. Blood drips out of the mouth of the Jezebel spirit as the Jezebel spirit sits down on the grass to rest.
“Evil has its limits.” says Lacey with tears to Christ. “Go to Hell in Jesus’s name.” says Lacey to the Jezebel spirit. It quickly gets up and walks off to Hell with a dreary gait.
I Appear Missing by Queens of the Stone Age plays.
See the thing is…Lacey really is over Joe. And she’s in charge of her heart and she submits entirely to Jesus Christ.
“9/11 was on my mother’s birthday.” Lacey says to JFK. “And her family controls trillions and trillions in oil and always will as much as God sees fit. Oil. Get the whole world off oil and stable.” She yells into his eardrums until they bleed, “NOW!!!!!”
Jack is quickly reassembled.
Then Louis shoves a plunger up Jack’s butt hole.
Jack is quickly reassembled.
And so JFK flails around the Hill lawn like an malignant idiot freak.
“We’re trying our hardest to destroy you and your love for Lem. …It isn’t working.” say a dozen demons to Lacey with a thoughtful smile.
“And of course it won’t.” says Lacey. “But…what then?!” she says to Jesus and them both.
A demon lets out an exasperated sigh.
“We could blow-up you and your family!” says a demon to Lacey with hope and enthusiasm.
“As much as that exit from this too often horrible world would be delightful I have to take orders from Jesus Christ.” says Lacey.
She commands the demons and other evil entities to Hell in Jesus’s name.
See the problem is Lacey loves God as His daughter through Jesus’s sacrifice on the cross. She can’t imagine not ever loving God as His daughter. It doesn’t seem likely to her that she could exist without loving God at this point. And then that means that she will die and be with God someday as she accepts her salvation through Christ. And because of that, it’s sort of a bit much…because she can cast the demons into Hell in Jesus’s name as God has told us to do correct? And so best case scenario for her haters that she can work out she’s not talking to ghosts but demons who are fooling her and she’s not being loved by dead men who are alive in Christ but just being fooled by demons.
Therefore, worse case scenario: Lem loves Lacey. And it is so that Jack is being conjured, essentially to his own detriment and demise in Purgatory. He is not being done any favors by people, insisting that Lacey is wrong, and that her opinions are fully her own, and not being told to her by an entity, who is the dead alive in Christ ghost of Lem. …Lem’s love for Jack is such that if it even existed at all which it might not have…it is so much just a tragic, sad insult at best to Jack on a profoundly deep level of his being. And if it did not exist, the claim that it did is possibly putting Jack in a precarious position spiritually in Purgatory. Actually, the claim that I did could be the insult itself. …The thing is Lacey loves Lem and Lem loves Lacey. And Lem may have been straight and the Illuminati may be possible and if they do exist they conjured the situation into being to some extent did they not?
“I threaten her life often.” says a demon about Lacey.
“The problem is in my mind is it almost seems like humans are becoming more evil than Hell itself.” says Lacey. “And there are several times when in the process of being tortured by the Illuminati demons have had to literally attack me in such a way as to remind me that Christ loves me just as much as they evil hate me.”
“We did that! We conjured the demons to attack you to show you that Christ loves you. You can think us for that you stupid piece of shit.“ says Summertime Sadness to Lacey in all seriousness.
“How did you do that?“ asks Princess Diana of Jonah Wiley.
“Through prayer and worship.” says Summertime Sadness.
“But when were you ever lovingly thinking of Lacey during Christian prayer and worship as a friend or sister-in-Christ who is being tortured?” asks Prince Philip.
“I doubt any Christian has prayed for me almost at all if it all maybe a few times, but I wouldn’t be surprised if very few Christians have prayed for me who I would consider Christians, in America. At least I said yes I’m sorry I should qualify that: in America.“ says Lacey.
“And then see, her prayers still matter to God as she worships Him through Jesus, even if they prayers aren’t said in a cool hip way.” explains a demon to American Christians.
“At any rate God reigns, and He knows the truth of my heart, and what I felt towards men towards Jack and would have felt towards Lacey had she been alive when I needed her to be so to speak.” says Lacey. “And perhaps realize that Lacey attacks Jack and the Kennedys who are in Purgatory and rejects Joe for real reasons that may be justifiable. …And it may be a huge mess because if I am Lem and I do love her, she rarely very rarely is allowed to fully hear what I’m trying to say to her that she probably needs to hear. I repeat: needs to hear. Needs as in she needs to hear my heart.” says Lem.
“That’s just a demon Lacey! And yet you know we don’t really care if you’re with him you’re making that up!” says the Illuminati.
“They didn’t necessarily care at first, but they care now.” says Louis. “At least it certainly seems so when they incessantly interrupt her.”
“He point originally was probably along the lines of: you’re wrong. God is right.” says Monica Vitti. “But you’ve perverted that into being an egotistical statement on her part, and it might not be at all.”
“People have been doing that to me my whole life. They always assume that when I think I’m right, that’s some insult to them.” says Lacey. “And I don’t know that it ever is. I don’t think that’s really the way that I’m saying it.”
“No one of the most traumatic experiences of her life, ironically and almost hilariously when you consider what she’s lived through was when she was in a Bible class in college, and a professor humiliated her sadistically, almost possibly intentionally statistically in front of her peers when she accidentally questioned his intelligence.” says Lem.
“Yeah, I doubt it I have a feeling you just made that story up!” says the perfume community to Lacey.
“How does it make? Any sense to have made that story up? Please explain what you mean.” says Lacey.
“Because it’s further proof that you’re not lying. And we possibly like to think you’re lying.” says a Monika.
“Why?!” yells Jack desperately as he’s being chased around the Hill lawn with a plunger.
“Some white supremacists may feel empathy for you Lacey.” says an American. “As Christians. Truly. As Christians.”
“No offense, but that’s pathetic that you all are the only Christians who see my humanity in the U.S.” says Lacey.
“We wholeheartedly agree!” says a white supremacist.
“We don’t need her approval to care about her as a Christian. We don’t need anyone’s approval.” says a white supremacist.
“And yet, I wouldn’t and don’t trust you all.” says Lacey to the white supremacists.
“That’s fair! And probably wise.” they say to Lacey.
“Jack…just say Lem’s name as though it is your name and have Lem say your name as though it is his name. Romp around in your sexy shorts and polo shirts. Nakedly have sex in front of Louis and show him what it means to be a man, what it means to be in love. Don’t let Lacey and her evil keep you keep you down! We know that you’re like us. You’re a better sort a champion top shelf top right top drawer. Fight fight fight for the superiority of our people the American middle class! We are the middle class and we are gay and we are here to stay. …Boom boom! Rah! Rah! Screw Lem shish-cum-bah!” says the Illuminati cool-crew.
“And Jack Louis Bayard wrote a book about you and Lem that was probably just filled with bullshit. It may have been written to spite Lacey. I think they wanted Lacey to feel threatened by Jackie if I’m wasn’t fully gay. But you probably know that and yeah, does she know why we have such a problem with her?” asks a Millennial.
“No, she has no idea why we’ve kept her from understanding us for reasons of umm…well…she doesn’t know, but it could just be to try to get more power over her.“ says a man in the Illuminati.
“Yeah but now you guys seem more evil than Satan himself.” says Lacey.
“The Kennedys don’t quit!” says Jack to Lacey with a sort of indignation.
“Don’t quit what Jack?!? Drugs?!? A sex addiction? Their delusions?!” ask David A. Kennedy.
And since Lacey is talking to ghosts and since she’s not supposed to be, Jack is being allowed to possibly do things that he shouldn’t be allowed to do. But what is Lacey supposed to do? These ghosts are literally the only people other than maybe her ex-husband who are helping keep her alive and sane as she’s being tormented. And that’s for complicated reasons, but it may not be due to her evil.
“And it’s possible that Jack really is that delusional and if so it’s tragic to watch because he seems very pathetic.” says Rocky.
“Who are you, again?“ asks Casi of Rocky.
“Ahh…my father was JD Rockefeller of Standard Oil.” says Rocky.
“Lacey do open concept houses irritate you and does it really irritate you when historic homes are renovated into open concept houses?” asks a perfume hater of Lacey.
“Yes, it is like nails on a chalkboard to my very soul or spirit. It is horrific to me.“ says Lacey.
But I’m also aware of queer woman.
“Yeah, it is to me to to a point. Right?! It is to a point. … but then it’s like, even though I am best friends with Lem’s sister, and we’re both really into historic preservation that I started a historic preservation Society at UND in college, and I used to wear Chanel number 22 as my signature… i’m really cool with the idea of modernization. Do you know Viva the difference long live the king and let’s just be friends let’s all just work together to build a harmonious better society. Like next month is gay pride month and it’s the month of June and it’s a beautiful month. It’s my month now I get May April and June and parts of July and August and September and November and October and December and January and February and March they are all my months. And the thing is Coco Chanel was my mother and Rose was my secretary, best friend maid. And you don’t understand the queen and I are best friends I slept with her 50 billion times and Prince Philip too and actually Marilyn and I go shopping together for groceries.” says JFK but he’s cut off by glares. “I’m actually Lacey Banks, and I’m a queer woman and I am poor and ugly and fat and stupid and I’m gonna repeat that until all of the universe believes it because I wanna be like God. I am God. I can’t stand God. I can’t stand the fact that He’s holding me accountable for my own sin! How dare you, how dare He! …I am Joe Kennedy, Senior’s son, Jack. How dare He?!”
“But Jack that’s God you’re talking about and if you’re really this insane I’m flabbergasted.” says Lacey to JFK.
Jack stares at Lacey. “You’re falling in love with me now are you?!” says JFK to Lacey.
“You are still attractive, but I really highly doubt that I’m falling in love with you. I’m sorry.“ says Lacey to JFK.
Jack then tries to rape Lacey. But Jack is stopped by angels and humans and possibly even some demons that are too tired.
More later.
“Jack did you really love Lem?” asks an actress.
“No! I did but I also had an incredible amount of hatred in my heart towards him. That’s never been openly discussed by anyone.” says JFK. “If he was straight, I knew that. I knew that I wasn’t straight. And that’s very different than what’s been openly said and anything that’s ever been officially written about him or me. And that’s really saying something isn’t it?”
“You knew you weren’t straight?!” asks the actress.
“Yeah, I knew it wasn’t straight.” says JFK.
“But what’s been written about you is that you were in denial and Lem had to keep sucking your cock and making love to you to try to convince you otherwise.” says Lacey mockingly to and about JFK.
“I wasn’t in denial. I just lied.“ says JFK.
“Did you lie to Lem?” asks Lacey.
The Illuminati might not like where this is going.
“Yes, it was part of the psychological trick that I was playing on him.” says JFK.
“‘I pretended to be far nicer, and more innocent than I was!’ is with Jack should say, if he’s being honest. ‘And trusting, and loving, and selfless, and unaware than I was as well.’” says Lem. “I didn’t love you romantically and I may not have even loved you at all other than as a fellow man, fellow human, is what I should say as people will probably corrupt that lost thought, I’m trying to express. But I I may have wondered at times if you were straight and I wasn’t and if I had corrupted you somehow in some diseased way. And I also may have fallen for this nice boy act that you played all the time, the kind, loving young man who was so downtrodden and sick and sad. And in need of my help and rescue from his busy wealthy family. Such a lonely, rejected, used, profoundly unloved, new elite, special young man. Someone who needed protection, someone who needed protection and love and encouragement and support unfailingly, profoundly faithful support from a loyal, honest, monogamous man. And who needed me to explore to make sure that I really loved him and really wanted the solitary, sad, dreary, sexless, boring as fuck life that he was providing me. You made me think that love, sexual, romantic love was at the level of warmth and companionship and arousal and passion as the interaction one experiences on good dayswith her spiritless plaster wall on good days. I’m bad days I wondered if I’d ever be able to make you happy with my supposed decrepit uselessness as a human being. …Among the many evil fairytales concocted about me since my death, in your evil honor, is that by raping me unbeknownst to me because I’d been molested you somehow by virtue of being JFK, made me as ironic as it is to say, not straight. You once rubbed my penis so much to try to make me hard that I got red and raw, in Germany. You were jus getting into the spirit of things weren’t you? We were in Nazi Germany. Then you told me to shove it up your ass or what you’d throw me off a cliff? And I was barely aroused at all because I was so incredibly repulsed by you, and by aroused, I mean physically because mentally it wasn’t working and you know it’s funny how people never think about that. They never stop to wonder why I never was on the receiving end of anything? With other men I could close my eyes and think about nature or really women. You didn’t let me dissociate Jack. But you knew that I was dissociating you, knew that I wasn’t really gay at all and that in my mind I needed to float off as you defiled my soul for you to trick my body into filling any amount of unwanted pleasure on my part. But I didn’t know that it was on wanted pleasure jack. That’s why I keep bringing up that I was molested. I didn’t understand the difference because I never experienced the difference. I was a grown man, but I never experienced that part of being a grown man. It was kept from me by you. I know Jackie with her pancake tits and her mannish curves and her comely face and your whorish, ugly sisters we’re not arousing to me you stupid bitch. And yes, I did just say come late because that’s about the most I could say about it. Jackie wasn’t some astounding beauty in a natural sense. Lacey thinks that she’s beautiful but I as a man do not. OK Jack? And all the a little twat egotistical…narcissistic often times…starlets that you screwed weren’t interesting to me either. There were no women for me to fuck as I was never lonely. I was like your slave I didn’t have my own life and I thought I was gay and sexually incompetent because I wasn’t able to get hard for you or really any man without in a sense feeling like I was acting the entire time. …You know what happened on our trip to Europe. We had fun during the day and then you’d harass me at night. You’d get me drunk and you get drunk I got myself drunk and then you start demanding things from me that I didn’t really actually want to give you.”
“But how did you not realize he was going to ask for that? I’ve never understood that.“ says Lacey.
“Because I had a naïve view of the world. And I was sheltered. I was very sheltered. And I thought that somehow it was all just gonna work out and we just we just be friends and I don’t know that the happy ending would happen. Somehow that somehow you know, the American Dream would come true for me.” says Lem.
“But weren’t you proud of your room in the White House?“ asks Lacey.
“Well yeah…in a way I was…but not really, no. Not the way that you would be.” says Lem.
“How would I be proud?“ asks Lacey.
“I think if you were in my shoes, you would’ve seen the historical nature of the whole thing and focused primarily on that.” says Lem.
“In what way?“ asks Lacey.
“Well, you would’ve had a different view of it you probably wouldn’t have been as much of a gullible fool as I was.” says Lem. “And I don’t…I don’t mean that as an attack.”
“Yeah right, you’re making me a sexless shrewish bitch with no soul. You’re turning my strengths into weaknesses and my vagina and what a Hell hole?” asks Lacey.
“And this is where I get frustrated because I really am trying to love you right now and you don’t hear it and that’s not your fault as you know except you don’t know because how could you completely know.” says Lem.
“How am I supposed to love you if you’re just a cocksucking gullible piece of shit? And then what? I’m an ugly shrewish little fuck wad that appreciates cerebral, goody-two-shoes things like history?” asks Lacey. “You’re making me far more masculine and dull and simple than I am. How is that possibly a compliment?”
“I really didn’t mean that as a compliment though because I don’t think he would’ve had that reaction.” says Lem.
“And then I’m supposed to babysit you and that’s supposed to be romantic to me?” asks Lacey.
“No, you’re right that’s hideous. I’m sorry I may be so bold and ugly is to say that. …I’m not that nice. And that was another thing that Jack did to me. He made me you. He became you he became you. I became you. We both became you. And yet neither one of us for you. The sweet, long-suffering housewife, who is super supportive and quiet. Always happily in the shadows. They made me perversely sweet and long-suffering and lovely and endearing, because I wasn’t gay at all and I really wasn’t quite that sweet or long-suffering. … I was kind of an ass and I hid it from everyone. If you think back to how I let those kids use drugs in my house and wreck themselves I suddenly don’t seem quite so sweet and endearing. And yet no one has ever thought to think that through. I seem perversely evilor it seems like I really didn’t give two flying shits about those kids at all in that way. And you would have you would’ve still cared, and you would’ve fought tooth and nail until the very end to try to be loving and kind and sweet and maternal.” says Lem.
“If I’m in the illuminati as a hostage, I’m getting the sense that Bobby Junior is very upset by what you just said Lem.” says Lacey.
“ you would never have said some thing is stupid about a room in the White House but I said was middle class backward and trashy and evil and confusing and I’m incredibly sorry because you’re right a room in the White House could on a very deep historical level actually mean something. But I’m not it didn’t me it didn’t to me. To me it was just an insult. I was his very best friend with my own room in the White House like we were 10 years old and I was at his birthday party when he went to Russia like he was some deranged adult child. I mean that’s the thing a room in the White House and being someone’s very very best friend ever?! I said it and childish stupid ass terms to try to make my point and it wasn’t clearly understood. He’s the best darn friend that anyone’s ever have gosh darn it gee whiz! My very, very best friend for life ever and I had my own room in the White House! Score!” He thinks. “No I seem I guess flamingly gay and obsessed with interior design and upholstery or antique furnishings or something. A just sort of a shallow twit, who was comfortable with a shallow, meaningless life of waking up alone, and never having anything that was their own, just being a slave, a mindless sex slave. People interpret what I said to be an appraisal on my part of my life as to say that a shallow slave life, of never having anything of your own, and just enjoying interior design and travel as a hostage who is never loved as an equal is a great life. And they made sure of that. They made sure that I never felt like one of the family as an actual equal. They patronized me constantly. I tried to be part of the family in a humble, I’m diseased and I’m here to help sort of way. …I was trying to be faithful to him and you know he was this diseased gay man and so was I we were going to you know have to just fight for some bit of happiness I guess or some stupid thing like that. …I kept thinking that it was going to melt into this friendship that wasn’t sexual at all. You know I keep thinking it’s like I’m not really his friend I’m not really his lover I am I’m more or less just his servant and plaything and that’s OK because that’s all I got, and if we have some special thing between us that I can’t quite fathom at the end of the day I guess that’s what we’re fighting for because that’s what love is you have to sorta force yourself into it. …Like it isn’t really love you know but that’s not some thing I understood so it’s like oh OK well I guess I’m gay. Well, and Jack’s gonna make me be a servant now and I guess we got betrothed to each other in some strange, queer way, and now we’re stuck and hopefully I’ll just end up being his friend eventually. ..I mean I really wasn’t gay and so what we did actually seemed weird to me.”
“But you sold shoes!” says a gay man.
“Not all men who sell shoes are homosexual or bisexual or pansexual. But beyond that, I was pretending to be gay so if you can make an argument that somehow there’s a tendency among male shoe salesman to be homosexual then there you go I was trying to be gay I thought I was gay I was trying to be honest about who I was. But beyond that, I was pretending to be gay so if you can make an argument that somehow there’s a tendency among male shoe salesmen to be homosexual then there you go. I was trying to be gay. I thought I was gay I was trying to be honest about who I thought I was and I took it that far.” says Lem.
“But actually I think maybe you really were just gay because you sold Coca-Cola too just like Jack loved. Didn’t he have a fixation on that soda? Maybe you knew that it was just an inside joke between the two of you to sell Coca-Cola because it was Jack’s favorite drink?” says Lacey. “I would’ve loved to of had a hot, tall, handsome worshiper-follower like you with inside jokes, who adored me and supported me the way you did to Jack it would’ve been glorious. But I never have. I lesbians who have tried to do that to me, but I’m not the slightest bit queer and it’s just been weird and gross and painful and actually it’s been excruciatingly painful. I think maybe people just don’t give two fucking shits about me. Except I know God does because I know I am human and I know I exist. I’m sorry if that offends you somehow Lem and I’m sorry if it offends you, Oh Great One Jack Kennedy. And on that note of profound loneliness that I’m sure you have no understanding of Lem in your sexy, hot life with Jack that you have lied about to make fun of me and my paltriness as ad a deeply misunderstood and unloved human being…my sorry state I now ask you all to leave me alone as I don’t need your mockery. Thank you very much.” says Lacey. “If you are just demons, go to Hell in Jesus’s name and if you’re sad, bitter dead humans who want think it’s funny to make fun of someone who’s extremely sad and lonely leave me alone I say again leave me alone. Thank you very much. …And if you aren’t lying Lem…I’m not impressed. I’m not beguiled. I’m not wooed. I’m alienated and utterly besotted with pain and misery with what you just shared.”
“OK that must mean that she’s Jack reincarnated then right?!?” says the Illuminati seriously.
“Yeah, I know she’s not guys she’s not Jack cause she constantly always has said that and she’s such a fucking idiot so clearly that means that she is right clearly that means that she is.” says a Boomer sarcastically. “See she attacks us in this very psychologically complex way and I feel like it’s not fair. And I think that’s what we’re supposed to take from lame is that she is evil and we’re victims.”
“No I mean everyone knows that Lem was gay and everyone knows that Lem’s just Jack and everyone knows that she’s also Marilyn Monroe and anything really that she doesn’t want to be because I mean it’s just clearly an attack on me that she’s prettier than me I mean it was, it’s like an unmitigated attack.” says a woman. It may be F. Scott Fitzgerald’s sister making fun of people who are obnoxious.
“I sold for Coca-Cola if I did because that’s what everyone drank, and I did too. It wasn’t an inside joke and honestly, even if it was, there’d still be an explanation as there’s always going to be an explanation. My story is unlikely to ever change, because it might just be truth, and so to all of you harassing us, go to Hell in Jesus‘s name, if necessary.” says Lacey.
“Lem I ruined my house with Citristrip. I wear a Tory Burch sandals without irony in 2023 because I’m 40 basically, and my hair is falling out, and my health isn’t what it used to be because I fell down the stairs. …I love sterling silver, Earl Grey tea and Eggs Benedict, and hiking. I am very stuffy at this point, and becoming increasingly so with each and every passing day. Isn’t that so bizarre and unAmerican? …I’m never going to tell you that I love you the way that you want me to most likely the way things are should they stay the same. And it’s not that I don’t love you. It’s just that it’s become so false and depressing to be so…emotive.” says Lacey.
Later.
“I think gay men hate Lacey when they do because they can’t control or diminish her. Bisexual men love Lacey. Men who are straight like Harold Loeb love Lacey. …Promiscuous gay men like Lacey for some reason. But…your average gay man struggles to like Lacey much at all. …And possibly insecure straight or closeted bisexual men also struggle with her.” says F. Scott Fitzgerald’s sister.
More later.
“I communicated to Lacey that she didn’t matter before she was even born. By virtue of being a fertile woman with red lips, wearing shirtwaist dresses that she’d take off a night for me and me alone, giving me her entire soul and body happily…she simply didn’t matter…at all. Because in this fallen world, other than loving me and the kids that we would’ve had together and cleaning our house, cooking our food, making life as pleasant, happy and meaningful for me as she possibly could…there wasn’t much that she really wanted from life. Maybe she would’ve written a novel or two maybe she would’ve volunteered somewhere maybe she could’ve been a model like Betty Draper but our life would’ve been the exact opposite of the Drapers. We would’ve been extraordinarily happy, and I would’ve been extremely faithful to her. Not because I was gay or because I was backward or a sissy or weak or sick but because I would’ve loved her. …But that’s not how people live today and no one cared. Women weren’t allowed to care after the 1960s after JFK. They weren’t allowed to think if they were like Lacey that they mattered one tiny fucking bit.” says Lem Billings.
Midnight City by M83 plays.
“‘Grow-up Lacey! It’s for your own good. We’re liberating you from men! We’re liberating you to be able to be yourself! We’re liberating you to be yourself! …Lacey we’re rescuing you to be able to fully actualize as a woman!’ you all have said. And yet when I ask her when we make love, ‘What does it mean to you?’ her respond is the honest brutal assessment, ‘My feelings don’t matter a lot. In fact my feelings don’t even matter possibly at all to anyone, including you.’” explains Lem. “ Why don’t her feelings matter? Because sex since the 1960’s is about JFK’s cock getting off! Sex is about closeted homosexual, closeted, gays using women’s vaginas to feel superior and bisexual women not having to pretend to be straight anymore. …That’s all it is to you people! People who are straight, people who really want to get married and settle down and fall in love in some so-called dipshit romantic way that you all think is what? Narcissistic and crazy cause it never happens…it’s not real? Those people have had been obliterated.” He thinks. “No, she’s never had her feelings acknowledged because you people don’t wanna hear them they scare you nowadays.”
“Why do they get scared?” asks Lacey.
“Because then they have to be honest and a lot of people nowadays have something to hide.” says Lem.
“Did Camilla love Charles, the way that you wanted to love somebody?” asks F. Scott Fitzgerald’s sister of Lacey.
“Possibly. Even though I relate more to Diana. Possibly.” says Lacey
“Why is that so demonized today?” asks Scott. “People do fall madly in love sometimes very quickly. I did with Zelda, and it was real.”
“It didn’t used to take people quite so long to figure things like that out in the past. Lacey is more like us in that way.” says Louis.
A Real Gust Of Wind by Cemeteries plays.
“So men and female friends and society at large has always told you that your feelings didn’t and don’t matter?!” a gay man asks Lacey incredulously.
“Yes! That’s what she’s been told!” says Lem.
“Then why is this blog about her feelings?!” asks the gay man accusingly.
“It’s her blog!” says F. Scott Fitzgerald’s sister.
“She knows they matter in reality. But just because someone is smart enough and deep enough to realize that their feelings matter doesn’t mean their feelings are being acknowledged or cared about.” says Lem. “This blog is about her feelings because she’s standing-up for herself.”
“Why are you even reading her blog?!” asks F. Scott Fitzgerald’s sister of the gay man.
“For hateful reasons, to be honest.” says the gay man.
“Why?!” asks Lem.
“Because I’m…into perfume.” he says.
“Then don’t read the posts that aren’t about perfume?” says F. Scott Fitzgerald’s sister.
“But it’s so stupid that she thinks we care!” he says scoffing. “I don’t care!!”
“So isn’t that exactly what Lem was just talking about?!” says F. Scott Fitzgerald’s sister.
“It’s just I don’t want to hear about her stupid housewife life. OK?! I’m a really cool, interesting, big deal. I am so fascinating and artistic and gifted and genius and amazing and everything that I do matters an astounding amount.” says the gay man. “My root chakra is balanced with the moon. Go read up and figure out what that means and then bother me with your paltry little bullshit you little worm!” he says accidentally channeling JFK.
“Why don’t you care about her one little tiny bit as a human, that’s sociopathic you freak!” says F. Scott Fitzgerald’s sister.
“I don’t care about you either. I bet you’re just a straight and horny and straight as she is.“ he says hoping that Lacey and F. Scott Fitzgerald’s sister at two lesbian idiots who don’t know how to function as adults.
“See he is one of the disenfranchised people in society! All gay, lesbian and bisexual people are. All LGBTQ+ people are. OK!? We’re like the blacks in the 1800s before the Civil War. …So when you say something even mildly slightly not nice to us it’s like a federal offense.” says a gay man seriously in his mind.
“But then, if I’m straight, princess underpants, how does he ever find happiness?“ asks Louis. “He being me.”v
“Unless if you can take cock and prefer it, you’re not really a man.” says JFK confidently.
“So do you agree with that Mr. gay man aficionado?” asks Louis.
“I am I mean the thought of heterosexual sex not existing is somewhat a nerving to me maybe I’m slightly a tiny bit bisexual. It just kind of bothers me.“ he says facetiously. “Yeah, just kidding no, I don’t care. You guys can just cease to exist. You have been the scum of the Earth throughout all of human history, and we have been the conquering heroes and battered victims in every society, and it is high time for us to rise up and take over the Earth and make things perfect for everyone because we are God. OK?! Actually…we’re better than that. We are the best and we are the most amazing humans on Earth. And you’re lucky that we tolerated you for as long as we have.” says a gay man wearing a red lip and a Birkin and high heels because he’s reclaiming femininity from women to be purely homosexual.
“We could rape and murder every human who isn’t a gay man and we’d just get high as a kite off of it at this point!“ say two giddy gay men.
“Huh. Every…man who isn’t…gay?” asks Michael, smiling.
“Yeah! We’d convert you honey, don’t worry!” they says with a sassy 1940’s-Lacey Banks-Lana Turner wink. They lean over and pretend to have hoolike Lacey and cleavage like Marilyn.
“I don’t know…I’m imagining Lacey’s natural tits.” says Micheal. He thinks. “I think you’d need to kill all bisexual men too and how would you go about certifying that?”
Space Song by Beach House plays.
The Asmats in Heaven dance.
“We could copy the Nazis.” says a gay man indignantly.
Lacey laughs. Smiles.
“So Margaret Atwood’s novel is about a society run by violent, insecure gay men?” Asks a Nazi. “Or you’d just kill off all women? I am confused.”
“No, we’d just kill off all women.” say the gay men.
“Or they kill themselves eventually.” says F Scott Fitzgerald’s sister.
“Then how would you create more gay men after you all were dying off?“ asks Hemingway.
“I don’t think that would be a problem.” says a gay man seriously in his head.
“So first you delegitimize monogamous sexuality? Then you delegitimize romantic love that’s not queer? Then you start vying for straight people to die off? Then your next step is to start killing off all the women and men who find women attractive at all? And then, your next step after that is to make our species cease to exist, or to live forever?” asks Hemingway.
“No! We won’t be that dumb. You are a homophobic idiot!” says a gay man.
“You’re just not understanding!” says a more gay man incredulously.
“What didn’t he understand?” asks the Nazi.
“We’ll grow uteruses.” says a gay man. “Evolution!”
“But what if you’d conceive girls or straight people?” asks Lacey.
“Kill ‘em!” says a gay man.
“You all are evil and insane.” says Michael.
“No! We’ll just make the world happy.” says a gay man. “And you’re homophobic.”
“That sort of evolution isn’t possible.” says the Nazi.
“That’s homophobic!” says a gay man.
“If you all are secretly this deranged why would we care?!? You’re fascist sociopaths!” says a woman.
“No! You don’t understand! We do! We figured out how to make butt sex better than vaginal sex!” says Lem mockingly of gay men.
“I think butt sex is better, Lem!” says a gay man.
“I doubt you’ve had vaginal sex. And what’s more I doubt you’ve had desires for a woman and had sex with her.” says Lem to the gay man.
“What’s the difference?” asks the gay man.
“Do you really want to know?” ask Lem.
“So butt sex with Lacey…wouldn’t suit you?” asks a gay man.
“No! …It’s actually not that great by comparison. I’m sorry.” says Lem. “If you don’t like women at all or whatever else it might be preferable but in every objective, non-situational way it’s not.”
“What about trans gay men?” asks a gay man of the Nazi.
“That’s female anatomy!” says the Nazi.
“So! Gender is…societal.” says a trans gay man.
“They would have killed you anyway.” says the Nazi.
“And if you’re a trans woman you’d be killed for transitioning?!” asks Satan. “I hate humans but women and children the most.”
“Great! You’re a gay man.” says a gay man accidentally to Satan.
“I’m not a Satanist!” says another gay man indignantly.
“I love the LGBTQ+ community.” says Satan.
“No! You don’t actually love their humanity at all.” says Lacey.
“More later, possibly. If it’s worth it.” says Lem. “I shared my sorrow in good faith. And so far I’m wholly unimpressed.”
A few moments later:
“Lem what’s wrong?” asks a female feminist. “Tell me about Lacey’s feelings!”
“She’s not aware I care.” says Lem. “That’s gist of it.”
“Do you care?” someone asks Lem.
“Yeah, yeah I care. I care more about her feelings than she does.” Lem says in irritation.
Keen to Cross the Pond 