Joe Kennedy Jr. says he’s sad.
Uber One offers Joe a lift home.
Will he be sold into sex slavery to finance the war in Ukraine? Or is Pat Wilson the driver? Maybe he’ll be brought home safely?
“If Joe had taken a taxi he’d be guaranteed a safe ride.” says a dead taxi driver.
(Adult content below)
Five minutes Michael is inundated by photographs he shot of Lacey. In their bedroom alone. On a date with a female version of Lem.
Then Lem is sent on a date with the female version of him. While being sent the same photos.
Zero by Electric Guest plays.
The woman is under the impression Lem is interested in her automatically. But she gracefully realizes she’s off in that impression as the date progresses. She’s not necessarily all that hurt. But makes demands of the rest of the date that match with Lem’s character.
“I’m just not feeling this date.” she says. She cries. She snarls. She laughs at herself for overreacting. Slaps herself.
“Stop!” he says kindly, but firmly.
“You’re funny!” she says thinking he’s in love with her again. She smiles at him coyly.
“No! I’m serious!” He makes a confused face. “Are we being funny?”
“You’re not a brainwashed idiot like everyone else.” she says. “Why don’t you love me?” She laughs a gratingly annoying, self-deprecating laugh.
“Are you just trying to fuck me?” he asks.
She thinks. She shrugs.
“My friend’s wife. What do you think of her?” asks Lem of the photos of Lacey. He shows her the photos.
She looks enraged. Then she gets up and walks away. Lem chases her down.
“A. Were you trying to sleep with me?” he asks her. “B. On a scale of 1 to 10 what is that woman? Asking for my friend. He’s considering divorcing her. And I can’t decide.”
A Beautiful Mine by RJD2 plays.
“Umm. Yeah! What did you think?!” she laughs bitingly at him. “You’re a prick you know that!!?” Then she punches him in the face. It hurts.
“I don’t even like you?!? What makes you think I’d want to sleep with you?!?” he spits.
“I HATE YOU!! GO AWAY!!” she yells. “JUST GO AWAY!” she backs-up.
“I’m not into you. At all. …You’re a cad. Aren’t you?” he asks.
“Yeah! Whatever.” she says rolling her eyes. “So you wanna fuck?”
“NO!” he yells.
“Yeah! Whatever. You’re a slimy bitch, just like me.” she says.
“I’m not attracted to you. This was a blind date.” he says. “You’re being obnoxious!”
“Yeah, whatever. I can tell you use people. Just like me.” she says. “Fess-up! How many women have you slept with? 18? 20? 24?”
“None other than my wife.” he says.
She cries. “Alright! Then why are we on this date? Huh?!? Because I get set-up on dates with guys. For sex!”
“Oh! You’re a prostitute.” he says nodding.
“Eww! No!!! You’re the loser!” she says standing-up and marching away.
He stands-up, chases after this woman and asks her, “What do you think of her? You seem experienced.”
She laughs. “Umm. Okay!” She sighs. “She’s a seven or eight?”
“Why?” he asks. He starts weeping. But then controls himself.
“Her eyes! There’s like…a hurt, haunting quality to them. Like…” she looks at Lem. “You’re an asshole.”
“Why is that ugly?” he asks.
She laughs coyly. “Umm. You’re in love with me. Aren’t you?” she asks fervently.
“Answer the question!” he asks in irritation.
“Okay! She’s like an 18.” she says. “Who the fuck is this fucking bitch?!?”
“She’s 18? You think she looks 18?!?” he asks.
She laughs. “No…I mean…Lem…she’s…HOT AS FFUUUUCCKKK!” She gets angry. “Are you a sex trafficker?!?”
“Were you a heroin addict?” he asks her.
“Yeah! I just overdosed a few days ago.” she says.
She starts to shake. Thinks. She’s shocked.
“You’re not a heroin addict. Are you?” she asks in fear.
She freaks-out.
“Oh my gosh! You died of heroin too! And that’s your wife!!!” she yells.
Move by Saint Motel plays and the woman hears it. She cracks-up laughing. Angels escort her away. Carrying her lovingly at one point.
In the taxi.
“Pat, should I use heroin?” Joe asks Pat.
“Hmm. That’s an interesting question.” she says.
“Why would you do that?” asks Pat.
“Because I have to!” he says sarcastically. “ I can’t let go!” he says seriously.
“Joe…did you or did you not decide for yourself?” she asks.
Insane in the Brain by Cypress Hill plays. He laughs.
“Can you make me dinner?” he asks.
“Yeah!!” she says cheerfully, genuinely smiling.
He loves her for her smile. The way she LOVES to be with him. The way she adores his presence. …Genuinely.
A Beautiful Mine by RJD2 plays.
Lem walks up Lacey. Holding the photos.
“These are of you.” he says.
She looks. Studies them.
“These are really good.” she says.
Lem looks at them.
He looks at her.
He smiles.
“You LOATHE being admired.” he says.
“It’s fake.” says Lacey.
“Then why did you let Michael take these photos?” asks Lem.
“Because he made love to me. …Almost.” says Lacey. “But still…he almost made love to me.”
“He didn’t deserve to take these photos.” says Lem.
“Who does?” asks Lacey. “And nowadays everyone needs proof.”
Hope Overture by Clint Mansell & Kronos Quartet plays.
“Jack could have never fucked you!” says a famous 1960’s journalist of Lacey after seeing the photos. “You were actually too pretty for him.”
Lacey thinks.
“Lem. I want my wife.” says Michael grabbing the photos.
The song plays.
“She’s NOT YOUR WIFE!” yells Michael.
“No! She’s my shit.” says Lem. “I treated her like shit.” He thinks. “I didn’t approach her. I didn’t ask for her…love. I didn’t ask for her eternity. I just complained. And told her horror stories. And she loved me. More than Jack has ever loved anyone other than maybe Jesus.” He thinks. “I can’t…stop…thinking…about you…inside of her. It’s HELL!”
“But he’s Michael.” says Lacey to Lem. “He’s wonderful.”
“Lacey…he’s…another man.” says Lem. Then he laughs.
“Yes! But you like men. And assholes. Certainly you don’t think your asshole is more photogenic than my body? Can you blame another man for appreciating a photo of something other than YOUR…ASSHOLE?”
Midnight City by M83 plays.
She thinks. “Your photos are fine?”
“You do have an AMAZING ass. Truly.” says Michael. “But I like her body better.” says Michael getting aroused looking at photos of Lacey.
“What’s wrong? Can’t you laugh at sex anymore? What happened to The uyour cool-kid sense of hot-shit-humor…HOT SHIT.” she says and then winks. “Aren’t you a hot piece of ass? Hotter than any woman?” She thinks. “Shouldn’t we tatoo on your ass, ‘Reserved for JFK?’”
“Those are my photos.” says Lem.
“You had Jack take the photos so you could masturbate to them? When you shot heroin?” asks Lacey.
He cries.
“Oh! Oh! Here’s my new idea! How about I take photos of me smiling after Michael and his family make me as happy as you were when Jack took your virginity and then your life? Maybe if I can can be the gayest soul…you’ll finally understand my pain. When I make love to Michael…to stop dying inside…for 30 or 40 or 100 years…then I’ll have him take my virginity. Shoot photos that literally could kill you if you glanced at them. And then send you to Hell without God’s death assurance and no love for 75 years…and then you can watch me make love for 100 years. With nothing to eat and no entertainment. Or food. …And then…maybe I’ll acknowledge you exist. And you can see if I’ll EVER love you. Totally devoted to me for possible eternity. …And…if you can be happy and love me even more I’ll take you far more seriously.” she says. “That’s how.” Then she thinks. “Or if that’s not right…then stop making me be the man when you’re not even bisexual. I can’t…worship you.” She thinks. “Is that what you want?” She thinks. “I LOVE Michael. I LOVE Louis. They are FAR better men than you. …You’re welcome?”
He thinks.
“Jack’s not you.” he says. “Jack never had my heart. But I took evil photos…because they made me look like I was in love with you.”
“Yes!” says Lacey.
Michael smiles at him.
“I was his retarded sister in his mind.” says Lem. “Symbolically. Vulnerable, confused and sexy.”
“Oh! Let’s hear more about your sex life with Jack!” says Lacey mockingly.
“I’m not-! NO!!!” he yells at Lacey.
“Then what are you doing?” asks Lacey.
“Making love to Jack. Unintentionally.” he says. “I love you.”
“You could never love me.” she says.
“Jack thought I loved him.” he says.
Lacey nods sympathetically.
“I took those photos and Jack molested you.” says Lem “And sent you to Hell.”
“We’ll have to see more sex photos of you and Jack. It’s like…something we can be friends Forover. Like…fuck friends. Except we’ll never fuck. …I don’t want to block hot cock for Lemmers.” says Lacey. “Do you two have sex names?”
She thinks.
“Wouldn’t it be hilarious if he ate your children? I’m sure that’s in the photo too if you love me. Did you know God hates child sacrifice? …Why did you let Jack repeatedly molest your toddler son, ruthlessly murder him and then turn around and worship him? With your best interpretation of true love?”
“He molested and murdered my son?” asks Lacey. “He drunkenly molested and bled you to death first.”
“Ask God.” says Lacey. “Damn! His cock must have been better than ANYTHING?!”
“I rode on his shoulders like a little boy.” says Lem.
“Yup! Was Lem your son?” asks Lacey. “Bobby Jr. a symbol?”
“I think Jack was offering you his nephew’s penis as a vulnerable child as thank-you gift.” says Michael.
“To the saddest Kennedy widow EVER!” says Lacey.
“Lem we didn’t like the Irish for a reason.” says Queen Elizabeth II. “There are often, not always, two sides to such histories.”
“Why do you keep falling for the lie that Lacey still loves Joe Jr.?” asks Michael. “Lem, I’m not trying to be crass, but could she look like this in her eyes for Joe?” he gives the photos to Lem. “LOOK!”
“You’re still hoping I’ll save you?” asks Lem of Lacey.
“Yes! Of course!” says Lacey.
“Why don’t you let Jack go?” he asks Lacey.
“Because I can’t.” says Lacey.
“I don’t think I can let you either.” he says.
“You can’t trap me into being someone else.” says Lacey to Lem. “I love Michael. Lem…I love Michael. …And I loved Louis.” She thinks. “I love Louis still, maybe.”
“Do you love me?” he asks.
“Yes!” she says.
He laughs.
“Why don’t you care?!?” he asks her.
She takes a deep breath. Purses her lips.
“Because I love. And…Jack was wrong…and it’s just blasé.” says Lacey. “It’s just sin and death stuff.”
“Would you feel that way about your kids?” he asks.
“No! I’d be asking God if Jack and many other people should go to Hell for eternity.” says Lacey. “And I have no idea what I’d do with you.”
“I ruined the 20th Century.” says Lem.
“Was it the happiest life?” asks Lacey. “With your room in the White House for Jack to rape and drug you when you didn’t comply?”
“No! No I killed myself to send a message to everyone that I HATED JACK!” he says. “But they took it as a cue from Jack to annihilate the US Constitution on behalf of Harvey Milk and whoever shot Abraham Lincoln.” He thinks. “Do they know that their main goal, however. is to make you cease to exist through the power of all of Hell?”
He thinks.
“Jack really wanted to destroy you.” Michael says to Lem.
“Me?” asks Lem.
Lem falls apart in tears.
“Michael you’re great. You’re better than the Great Gatsby.” says Lem.
“Aww shucks, Lem.” says Michael smiling meekly.
Suddenly Lem realizes that if he’d actually been queer Michael would have been the man who would have won his heart the way Jack did in many American’s imaginations. He smiles at Michael.
“I’m incredibly sorry for how I’ve treated you.” Lem says to Michael. “I was meant to be a far better man. But I accidentally ruined myself.” He thinks. “You could have helped me. But I ruined that too. I never dated anyone like you. Selfless enough to understand I wasn’t actually homosexual at all.” he says crying. “And then when they found out not just heartlessly hate me for it.”
“You’re not in love with me?” asks Michael concerned.
“No!” says Lem laughing.
“Lem, you’ll make some readers wonder. Be careful.” says Michael. He smiles kindly.
“It’s just…I never dated anyone like you!” says Lem laughing. “It’s just more proof I was and am straight.”
“Is it an issue of old money?” asks Lacey. “Because it seems there are three types of old money in the US.” She thinks. “There’s the old money that proclaims itself wise and is generally just…buffoonery. The old money that is actual old money. And old money that is more about façades and aesthetics.”
“But only one is real.” says Lem.
“Actual old money.” says Michael.
“You’re not as actual old money as Lacey and I.” says Lem to Michael.
“But then why do we accept him like he is?” Lacey asks Lem.
“Because he’s better than Jack.” says Lem. “The Roosevelts and Rockefeller’s are better than the Kennedy’s ever were. The Kennedy’s were shit and I lied about it out of love. But not love romantically for Jack, like everyone assumes. Love for America. A passionate, sentimental love for the American Dream.” He thinks. “I loved…the idea of loving Jack. But it was actually only ever pity and my attempt to be gay and at ease in my own skin. …I loved the idea because of my patriotism and desire to be a good man. …Because he wasn’t truly a good friend. At all. He just used and abused me. …But I lied about that out of loyalty to his legacy and the way people wanted to worship him like…a fallen great hero. Jay Gatsby as US President. I didn’t want to ruin people’s image of what I thought he stood for in their minds. …But…in my mind I HATED HIM!!!” yells Lem at the Illuminati. “DO YOU HEAR THAT?!? He RAPED ME!!” He laughs. “No? You can’t understand that I’m possibly REALLY Lem and a ghost and yelling at you that he RAPED me? No?!? Then if you’re an adult consider shooting yourselves in the head.” He smiles. “Shit is about to get real, as you all like to say.”
“He’s right. You can’t handle it? Watch out!” says Michael Rockefeller.
“So…Mr. Billings…maybe was attracted to women…and he was tricked into sexual photos and situations by Jack Kennedy?” asks a Boomer fighting to comprehend the situation.
“Go on!” says Michael.
“So Lem was psychologically vulnerable and Jack used that psychological vulnerability to essentially molest him?” asks the Boomer.
“Go on!” says Michael.
“So Jack…might have fooled us into thinking Lem was in love with him because he did such a good job convincing Lem that he was gay?” asks the Boomer.
“Go on!” says Michael.
“So Jack wasn’t…chased in this scenario by Lem. That’s a possible fabrication. And Lem was more or less a sexual hostage Jack captured in Lem’s youth.” says Boomer.
“GO ON!!!” yells Michael.
“And all the details all can be seen perfectly from the perspective better…possibly than from the current popular narrative?” wonders the Boomer falling apart.
“Of course! The reality of Lem possibly being a molestation victim who was Jack’s lifelong victim isn’t…shocking. You’re making it impossible based on bullshit. …It’s soo rational. I’m far more of an authority on it than you are if I’m Michael Rockefeller anyway. …How do you not grasp that also very simple concept?”
Michael waits for a response.
“Fine! We have proof he was gay!” says the Boomer.
“What?” asks Michael.
“He said he was himself.” he says growing nervous.
“Not in the way you’re implying. And not necessarily at all! Who did he say that to?!” says Michael.
“No one! He never did. And if he did it doesn’t even necessarily mean he was clear psychologically about it.” admits the Boomer.
Michael laughs. “Why are you admitting that? Are you gay?”
“Gay?” asks the Boomer.
“Yes.” says Michael.
“Yes.” he admits.
“Hmm. That’s interesting.” says Michael.
“I’m…not going to take this seriously.” says the Boomer.
“Really?” asks Michael.
“You’re not really Michael Rockefeller…are you?” the man asks.
“I’m Michael Rockefeller.” he responds laughing.
The man thinks. “So…Jack might have come on to Lem. Not the other way around? And then Jack played dumb. And then gave him the cold shoulder to keep him interested?” asks the gay man. “But…Lem was never attracted to him. He just couldn’t handle the rejection?”
“What real rejection? Jack never rejected him.” laughs Michael. “That was flirting mostly anyway.” He looks whimsical. “That was a sales technique. And Lem was…a good salesmen but he was also tender-hearted. And he felt that rejection as a psychological burden of his to investigate about Jack. Because HE THOUGHT HE WAS GAY!!!” yells Michael laughing. “Are you an idiot or a psychopath or what?” He waits and then, “He thought…he was gay. That doesn’t make him gay. He THOUGHT he was gay. HE THOUGHT HE WAS GAY!!!” He thinks. “Do you understand telepathy?” He thinks. “DON’T CORRECT ME!” He smiles. “Unless I’m wrong. Am I wrong? …Stop using sardonic, narcissistic buckshot from your water gun to try to trap me you miserable man.” He thinks. “Why can’t you grasp the premise? Why are you abusing me?”
“He’s not abusing you! He has a point!” says Nelson Rockefeller sarcastically.
“Umm! Yeah!! See I’m not intimidated by you!” says the Boomer man to the Rockefeller’s.
“Why is my son who you fervently believe wasn’t molested hiding with you instead of me?” asks Lem’s birth father.
“That doesn’t make any sense.” says the Boomer.
“Why?” asks Lem’s father.
“Because he’s hiding with me? Think before you speak you old fart.” says the Boomer.
“No! It’s what he’s doing! Can you see him?” asks Lem’s father.
“He’s hiding with me?” asks the Boomer.
“Yeah! So he can have premarital sex with his boyfriend later.” says Lem’s father.
“You’re mocking me.” says the Boomer.
“Gee you think? You idiot!!” says Lem’s father.
“Oh nevermind! Let’s hear that good ol’ Lem story you love!” says Lacey.
“Yeah! You have NO EVIDENCE to back up any of your arguments or claims. And never have. …And if you try now it’s treason.” says Lem’s father. “Actual treason against US intellectual public interests. It’s treason against the US.” He smiles. “You’re a liar. So let’s hear the fabricated Kennedy bullshit about my son again. You’re telling me, his father…his LOVER LACEY…his mother, dead siblings, grandparents and other family….GOD…the Rockefeller’s…and LEM HIMSELF…that YOU KNOW THEIR PERSONAL HISTORY BETTER THAN THEY DO! …But go ahead! Let’s hear about the bullshit Joe Kennedy Senior, master of public relations, told you.”
“Yeah! She’s right! There’s no REAL EVIDENCE to suggest he was even a homosexual. Just…the things we rely on instead of facts.” says a Bill Gates. “But what scares me is that you’ll likely turn my last sentence into one about Jack instead of the sentence it was intended to be about Lem Billings.” He laughs. “Why do you do that? That’s so foolish.”
“But there’s so much evidence to suggest Lem was gay.” says the Boomer.
“I never came out as gay!” says Lem. “And even if I did…I could have been confused.”
The Boomer scoffs at Lem.
“If you’re lying and there’s no evidence he was gay then why would you demand he lie- How do you not comprehend you’re talking to Lem himself? Why would you be the authority on his life?!?” asks Lacey. “You’re confusing me with your possible genuine stupidity?” She thinks. “Or do you think I owe you personally the literal universe?” She thinks.
“I don’t know he was gay.” he says.
“Then maybe he wasn’t.” says Lacey.
“Why do you have to be so dogmatic about Lem? Why can’t you be less clear? …They used to be far more so before gay rights
“The problem is…if I wasn’t…the history and international internet lies about me…bother me.” says Lem. “It hurts. Not only me but my whole family.” He thinks. “We can’t tolerate that. You can’t demand we tolerate that.”
“Why can’t you let it be more mysterious? It was in anything written about him before the gay rights movement became popular.” says Michael. “Now, we’re suddenly sure he was gay? Based on the impressions of other people. But why do we assume their opinions were accurate? Why didn’t he ever like to talk about it if he was so obviously gay?” Michael laughs. “Here’s the funny thing: Lacey is starting to realize how full of shit you likely all are. And that’s very dangerous.”
“You’re unraveling ALL LGBTQ+ rights worldwide.” says Lacey.
“What’s amiss?” asks a Zelensky.
“I distinctly recall reading Red Fay’s quotation in my childhood. I guarantee it.” says Lacey. “And…the problem…is that you contradicted yourselves. You on the left. And…both times you claimed it as heartfelt, objective, calm, reflective historical fact. Or close to absolute fact. And…they can’t both be right. So…it points to a very carefully orchestrated, fantastically…absurdly carefully orchestrated lie being told. And then I wonder why. Why the ABSURD determination to cover-up Lem’s heterosexuality?”
“Did Bobby Kennedy Jr. kill Lem to keep him quiet about what happened? Or did Bobby Kennedy Jr. kill Lem when Lem wouldn’t sleep with him and he couldn’t psychologically handle it?” asks Lem. “Maybe he thought once he got older I’d screw him. And I refused to so he killed me in narcissistic rage?”
“The problem is…if that’s not true…how do you prove that at this point?” asks Lacey. “You’ve ruined your credibility.”
“Maybe I thought of him as a son? Or maybe I didn’t. And he figured out I didn’t ever want to screw him and that the heroin was to kill him instead. Or he subconsciously figured that out. So he intentionally killed me.” says Lem. “We weren’t pals like what he thought I was with his uncle. I was trying to let him die because I somewhat secretly hated his uncle.”
He waits.
“I maybe knew he was evil when he tried to get me addicted to heroin. And that’s when I realized he was a sociopathic pervert like Jack. So I used his narcissism against him to let him die if God so desired.” says Lem. “You know he essentially killed his ex-wife?”
“So let’s hear the story! Tell us one last time about Jack and Lem! No accurate gaydar! No problem with objective facts. Just the story.” says Lacey.
Prokofiev plays.
“Jack and Lem met at Choate. They worked on a newspaper together. Lem was…obsessed with Jack. So Lem wrote a sexual message of desire on toilet paper. And Jack being straight was repulsed! But Lem was passionately in love with Jack and very hot so he magically turned Jack gay for him. Truly. Jack is proof we can trust all heterosexuals can be seduced into being gay for us…”. a Boomer says honestly. “And so Jack was kind of in love with him. Not like completely. But…Jack made Lem straighter. And Lem made Jack gayish. And they made love in the White House every night like the gay couple every gay couple dreams of being. And Jackie was their best friend and Lem was so sexually fulfilled by Jack that he not only let him but helped him sleep with dozens of women. But when Jack was too hot looking he sometimes felt hurt and dated men to be sassy. Or he made jealous faces. Because he was SO IN LOVE WITH JACK he could barely function. So when Jack died he ran through the streets weeping and wailing in sackcloth and ashes. Because no one in all of the history of humanity has ever been more DEVASTATED by a lover’s death than Lem. So Jack was his god. And so Lem shot up heroin to cope with the loss of his personal god. And we empathize with Lem because of that indescribable amount of pain most of us will never come close to experiencing. …Bobby Jr. was attractive to everyone. So when Lem saw him at 14 with the sexual brilliance of a young demi-god he was a moth to the flame. …Of course everyone secretly knows Bobby Jr. was Lem’s true love. But…Bobby Jr. warmed Lem’s heart with his humor and charm and wit and Boomer-brilliance and Lem was fine with never sleeping Bobby Jr. that much or whatever because Lem was so overwhelmed by his presence. So basically Lem just drifted off into Heaven carried by Bobby Jr.’s god-like love. …And we all are as Boomers today. Everyone for eternity will be a Boomer. The Boomers are the start of the Age of Aquarius. And they are the best generation to ever exist. They took the old shit their parents gave them and made it come to life. They are all Bobby Jr. and Lem is everyone’s boyfriend.” says the Boomer. “But Jack is the head of Christ. And Jesus is Bobby Jr.. Ethel is Mary. And Jackie was a bitch. …Well no! Bobby isn’t Jesus! He’s just a Kennedy. And we’re not Americans anymore. …Actually, Ethel is a muppet…with an ugly tan. And…Ted is a lion. The Lion of the Senate…of Narnia Congress.” They think. “Actually…Jack isn’t the head of Christ. He’s a man. Just a man. And we all think he’s hot. And Ethel is a pretty name.” They smile. “My dad wants a beer? No! That’s…not…possible. He’s dead.” He thinks. “Bobby was…creepy. But he’s gotta work. He’s the only one left. And no one else has been given to us. Among the chosen. We…are in the Illuminati. All of us. And that’s thanks to Joe Jr.’s sacrifice in WWII.” They think. “So…to summarize: Lem is garbage. Jack died. Carolyn Kennedy is…still alive. And Lem and Jack were the best lovers in history. …Now we take that fact from Heaven McDonalds and decide it’s true…but not really…and anyone who questions it is our sacrificial lamb of darkness and we will Boomer them into ceasing to exist. And yet…it’s all bullshit and uncool to think about. As per usual. DON’T THINK!!!!”
“Can you summarize once more?” asks Michael.
“We cannot.” they say.
“Why?” asks Michael.
“Because you’re Michael Rockefeller and you control me.” says the Boomer. “But I’m also controlled by the Kennedy’s. The Chinese. Ten pedophile rings. The farmers of America. The Man Boy Love Association. The dairy industry. Green Peace. …The Chinese. …China. …China. …China. …China. …China. …China. …The United States. …Eastern Germany of 1978. …The Edmund Fitzgerald. A drug trip I took in the 1970’s. A demon impersonating my dead dog. Demons in general. …A man I heard on the radio as a child. The CIA. …And books.”
“That’s a lot of conflicting perspectives.” says Lacey.
“No. It’s not. They’re all en league together to love Joe Kennedy Sr. in his pants. And they’re better than.” says the man.“
“You’re not speaking on behalf of old money.” says Lem’s father.
“I am. I am old money…not. Don’t @ me. Loser!” says the Boomer.
“You’re not speaking on behalf of old money.” says Lem’s father.
“Tuna fish! It goes well with dairy!” says the man. “Ha!” he laughs. “No, all joking aside…I love the Kennedy’s. They’re royalty.” he looks very serious.
“Was Michael hot?” asks Lem.
“Haha!” he laughs. “We…do…not…speak…of…sex! That’s…CHINA!!!”
“China is hot?” asks Lem.
“Pork chops!” says the man.
“Is Michael hot?” asks Lacey.
“Shhh! Michael is missing and we don’t want to find him in the jungle because…Lacey wears Ivoire de Balmain. She’s…his. Or Lem’s. Or…we love God and isn’t that a nice thought?” says the Boomer.
“Why don’t we want to find Michael?” asks Lem.
“Because Jack. Jack is-Jack…and Michael…is so in love with Lacey. And Lem…isn’t a lemon. Does he die? Or is he alive with Jack on Paradise Island?” asks the man.
“Couldn’t Lem be in love with Lacey?” asks Lem.
He laughs and laughs. And laughs. “I cannot know. You’re asking a question only my mother can answer for me and I haven’t seen her since she died. She’s very busy. It reminds me of my childhood. I ate a lot. We…had Sundays in the summer where we’d all rest under sunlight…dimpled by tree limbs that stretched to and fro. And I waited for a love letter that came only then and never before. …Huh! You’re right. Lem is in love with Lacey. But that’s the way white picket fences are. You see?” he sighs like a wise sage. “Lemons. …My goodness!”
“Who does Lacey belong to according to God?” asks Michael.
“I can’t hear. Lem? The…dairy industry.” He sounds confident. “She belongs to the dairy industry. They are the dairy industry. So…she’ll marry them. If Bobby Jr. has anything to say about it.”
“Goodnight then!” says Lem.
“No, sir!” he says. “You think you can pull a fast one on me!?”
“Goodnight!” says Michael.
“You’re a Rockefeller?!??” he says.
—
Keen to Cross the Pond 