Category Archives: Journal

It’s morning.

…

See, this whole thing started when Lacey inherited part of her inheritance from her father. And even though it was a meager inheritance relatively speaking it made enormous waves.

Why is an interesting question.

Possibly because the whole trajectory of Lacey’s life as sold to her Millennial peers was a lie. Possibly because they’ve been brainwashed into believing things that have only harmed them their whole lives. Possibly because a lot of their sanity has rested on her being inferior to them somehow or being a permanent victim. Not a real victim of their evil and generational sociopathy, but a victim of some unseen, fairly nebulous, common evil.

*The Illuminati tries to suffocate her or cause a heart attack*

And that’s the thing. This post is bursting a lot of narcissistic bubbles. …And really it’s pathetic to the point of tragedy that her generation is so weak. So gullible.

Somehow Lacey’s family’s wealth was supposed to be purely esoteric and intellectual and Scandinavian and dull and nice and sweet and non-threatening. …Basically, it wasn’t supposed to be real. …Well, real…but in a Mr. Rogers way. One of the secretly greatest families that minds their own business and yet gets shit on by those more “sophisticated” or “glamorous” or “fascinating” or, in possible truth, pushy and aggressive.

She was, even though called prissy by peers in childhood, a “farm girl.” The idea of poor James Gatz or some Scandinavian dolt who barely could do simple math was egotistically comforting to F. Scott Fitzgerald too?

The irony of course was and is that F. Scott Fitzgerald was never the co-editor-in-chief of a very widely read newspaper consistently for decades. He never went to Norway and gave lectures to university students due to intellectual grandeur. He didn’t have ties to celebrated silversmiths of a European country. He didn’t have well-respected professors in his family in the 1940’s? His descendants don’t have billions of Dollars in oil for fun. …And most scathingly, when her Great Granduncle (in reality) Simon Johnson published his most significant novel in 1916…Scott wasn’t a published author at all. And, of course, while Scott may have written and published the same number of novels or albeit one or two less than Simon Johnson, Scott was never knighted by a European King of old. Or Queen.

So…what was it that Scott meant when he said that the Scandinavians weren’t members of “society” yet? The thing is…there were actually glamorous Swedes with impressive mansions in Minnesota, if I’m not mistaken. There had been for decades. Some of them might have even been intellectually well regarded.

So…was his issue with Norway? Norway only became its own country separate from Sweden in 1814? And to F. Scott Fitzgerald 1814 wasn’t 1600? Norway was still suspect? Never mind that he was Irish? And of course, parts of Ireland are still under British rule to this day in 2023.

“Did Zelda feel it best to let Northern Ireland be babysat by the British based on her experience of being married to you?” a Seay asks Scott. “She has say over such things. Right?“

The Bat Crew, as part of the They, which consists of Batgirl III, and Mr. & Mrs. Blue pauses to reflect.

Or…did Scott mean something sad? Was he focused on a small subgroup of people he felt were the elite? …And really, you can’t blame him. He was very objective. Brilliant! …And by missing the larger context in which his elite held power, the trends of white immigration vs non-white, and etc. he missed reality? He missed it to the peril of those white and non-white white-assimilating in the US who care who aren’t truly in the Old Money Elite.

A stuffy Jewish girl who likely has no old money like Harold Loeb feels suddenly far less self-important even while her credentials seemed impressive before. “We’re still wealthy though. And even generationally wealthy. But no, I’m not Old Money really.” she says to herself calmly, rationally.

“You know what?!” rages The Loudest Perfume Hater still determined to make Lacey Is Poor 2023 happen.

What will Wobbly and Joe Jr. do with all the bumper stickers reading Lacey Lies? What will The Loudest Perfume Hater do with her balloons and glitter for the ceiling? The hate campaign buttons reading I Killed Her? Or the others that say, Average Joe, Kennedy’s Kill, Ugly Girls Go To Hell, I’m Hot She’s Not, Lacey Eats Poop, Joe Is Cooler Than Even Me, We Rule You Drool, I’m Not Pretentious, She’s Not Rich and Why Bother Arguing With Stupid? The posters that say, “Tall is Superior In Every Way,” “I’m A Winner, Thank Jesus,” “Poor Black People Can Be Shot,” “Ask Me If I’m Pretentious, I Dare You,” “The Truth Which Is Does Not Therein Need To Ever Be Explained At All Because It Is,” “I Pretend To Be An Aristocrat And So Can You,” “I’m Pretty & Cool & Fun & Hot & Nice & Sweet & Gentle & Swedish & Petite & Cool,” and “He Chose Me Not You.”

“Stop making fun of me.” The Loudest Perfume Hater says violently even as she still tries to maintain a perception of victimhood. “I’m not that funny.”

“You’re an adult who might molest cats.” says Lacey. “And then has the psychopathic gall to post the footage of it on Instagram to get likes and compliments from male dipshits.”

The They in the Illuminati feel offended. “We condone sexual animal torture as a healthy, foundational part of the queer + community.” the They say. “We also condone water torture and the 9/11 attacks.” The They think. “The airplanes were in love with the Twin Towers.” They shrug. “We’re real high society.” The They think. “See…after making my $40 million fortune and summering in the Hamptons…I’ve come to realize what networking with the Elite is. …And Sissy McIntosh and I are close. We are. Ask her!!” He pauses. “But it’s not about who your friends are or how deranged and poor your grandparents and parents were or are. Because we had stuff. All the latest stuff. My mother owned a Louis Vuitton in 1972.” He thinks. “No, 1987.” He coughs. “The point is, I’m TRUE Old-Money elite. And I think given my psychic’s readings of my Aetna-soul that I’m a reincarnated Pope.” He looks very serious. “And…I’d rather think of 9/11 as a beautiful, ironic commentary on Madness and passion in the 20th Century than something backward, Christian and vile.”

*The Illuminati feels narcissistically threatened and attacks Lacey by threatening to abuse kids or trying to use their abuse to torture her psychologically.*

“So…why do you think the planes were in love or lust with the Twin Towers?” Michael Rockefeller asks this man.

“What trailer park did you come from walking in with this ugly piece of shit?” he asks Mike, pointing to Lacey.

“Trailer park?” asks Michael, seriously.

“Yeah! It’s just…her clothes fit too well and her boobs aren’t big enough and her hair looks pretty. Or is it that she doesn’t look dumb or ugly enough?” he says self-righteously. He’s being serious. He begins to chew with his mouth open as other around him vomit on cue into the Laura McAshley bags.

“I’m trying for a new vomit routine in a year. My Akakase ring leader says it’s not my time yet.” he says seriously.

“Can you be merciful and explain something?” asks Lacey.

He looks possibly human for a second. Then he looks irritated. Then he looks human again. Then he looks irritated. …He looks anxious as he can’t pick a mood to present to his exhausting audience.

Lacey feels empathy for him, “Why do you think the planes, who according to current French Cinema?, were in love with The Towers…fell in love?”

“I don’t know! Say, in your impoverished family from the hills of Minnesota mining towns…did people ever fall in love and get married in the old traditional way? Maybe you can tell me why pieces of shit like you and The Twin Towers would bother to imagine falling in love.” he responds with a bizarre air of the spiritual authority of the Holy Roman Catholic Church.

“Does Sissy ever fall in love? Or are you more fascinated by my impoverished family?” Lacey asks him.

“Sissy is a Norwegian-American Aristocrat.” he says. “Her family owns the Basken Gold Basket in Iowa.”

“Oh, my. What does that mean about her ability to fall in love?” asks Lacey.

“She doesn’t fall in love. She questions the hearing of the birds.” he says supremely.

“I see. And why did the planes fall in love with The Twin Towers then?” asks Lacey.

“Because the planes are planes?” he asks.

Bach: Violin Concertos 1&2 by Bach and plays.

“Do you listen to the music?” asks Lacey.

“This crap? It’s so pretentious.” *He laughs thinking he’s genuinely relating her in what believes is her true lowliness* “But I tolerate it. It reminds me of when I was trying to be rich and fancy at my early days at Harvard.” he looks at her. “Did you go to a shithole for college if you went at all? Harvard is a good school still, you know.”

“Where is Harvard?” asks Lacey.

“In Boston. Well, near Boston.” he smiles. “You’ve not seen much of the US?”

“No. I’ve been living in a cave my whole life.” says Lacey. “Today is my first day out. How am I doing?”

He looks at her. “How are you able to see?”

“A kind doctor at Harvard, actually gave me new eyes. They’re made from alien materials.” Lacey says.

“Oh! This is a joke?” he says to her fuming.

“No. I’m actually a Martian.” says Lacey.

He looks nervous. He believes her.

“See, on Mars Bach is our rap music.” she says.

He looks fascinated. “But you grew-up in a cave?!”

“No! It’s a joke.” she says. She giggles.

He looks confused.

“Martian’s don’t have buildings that fall in love with planes. It’s a foreign concept to me. …Really though, I’m just trying to be friends with Sissy. Aren’t we all?” asks Lacey.

“I’m not sure why you’d think Sissy is even here!” he says self-righteously.

“Oh! She’s living in the suburbs regularly fucking black men?” asks Lacey.

He looks at her seriously. “You don’t even know.”

“Know what? Life outside my cave?” asks Lacey.

Michael Rockefeller clears his throat. “Well, I went to Harvard.”

The man looks at him, askance. “Your father bought Harvard.” *He scoffs*

“They are the descendants of slave traders in East Africa in the 1700’s.” says Lacey. “Is that what you’re referring to?”

“No! Oh dear, oh dear!” he says mockingly of her. “You and your stuffy shit.” He thinks. “We I was Bill Gates at Harvard I wrote novels for fun about people like you. But these days you’re obsolete.”

“You were Bill Gates?” asks Lacey.

He looks morally offended. He takes a deep breath. “You know not what you do.” Then he cries. “I was. Yes. I was Bill Gates. I double-trouble reincarnated.”

“Do go on!!” says Michael.

He nods his head, “I was Bill Gates in a walk on reincarnation for two months.” He laughs. “My therapist and I call it a double-trouble reincarnation because I’m very morally offended by God that I had to assist Bill Gates. He’s into vaccines.” He steadies himself. “I’m not opposed to vaccines for elephants. But for others it’s immoral.”

“Like elephants at zoos?” Michael asks him.

“On my last acid trip I met an elephant named Hortense. He shared the great wisdom of the ages with me from the books of the Naratrobi Scholars.” He looks serious. “No, I ascended.” He thinks. “I ate the flesh of birds.”

“Did you get to visit my family in Minnesota?” she asks.

He looks disdainful and embarrassed for her.

“No, dear I did not!” he says condescendingly.

“Why ever not?” asks Michael.

The man laughs seriously.

“Daaaahhlinng…why everest not?” asks Lacey. “Whilst thou explain?”

“Say!! Maybe you really did go to Harvard!” he says in a friendly tone.

“Well, we best say toodalou to you!” Then *Lacey laughs a Bette Davis laugh.* 

“Oh! Sissy will be madly perplexed!” he says.

And at that Lacey and Michael run away as fast as they can.

—

As Lacey worries she needs to edit her blog for her safety if they’ve tried to use their power to make her seem like a pedophile or evil…she decides to try writing about herself for once.

“She’s right you guys really can’t handle any real conversation she ever tries to have.” a a CIA operative says to the Illuminati.

“That’s possibly because their entire fortune nowadays rests on child sex slaves…and their desperate attempts to make it less evil.” says Lacey. “They literally are all possibly peasant drug addicts with low IQs for the most part in the Illuminati. Like…they’re so gross lowly and genuinely deplorable as existent beings that they give the true Dalits a bad name.”

“What you know about the Dalits!?” says a burgeois Indian Liberal intellectual to Lacey threateningly. But that’s par for the course with these toads-by-choice.

“Why don’t you tell me about your Dalits?” Lacey asks the American-Liberal so-called intellectual.

She looks like she feels that Lacey is beating her up.

“How am I torturing you?” Lacey asks.

Then she stands up, tosses her long hair behind her, and scoffs like a Valley Girl who’s supposedly secretly superior to Lacey.

“Oh!! I see. You’re superior to me? And I’m Brahmin baiting you in your estimation?” Lacey asks.

She tries to look tortured even more.

“How are you my superior?” Lacey asks the woman.

“I’m just…I just…I went to Brown.” she says.

“So what?!” says Lacey. “That might be a secret white trash shithole.” Lacey thinks. “If you went there it suggests most of India, if you’re a real Brahmin, is trash. And Brown was ruined when it acknowledged you as an equal?”

“No!! I’m superior to you!!! I can prove it!!” she says to Lacey.

“Are you sure you’re a true Brahmin?” asks Lacey. “Or is all of Hindu religion a Satanic farce on Christianity in some way?” Lacey thinks. “Maybe you’re really just a bourgeois fool?”

“Has Brown ruined its reputation?” Brown asks Michael.

Michael snubs them entirely. The Roosevelt’s laugh at Brown. The family of Lacey that she was raised by feel sorry for Brown. And the Banks worry about what evil role Brown plays in the sale of humans worldwide, specifically children, specifically into sex slavery.

“I think it’s Michael Rockefeller we’re dealing with!” says Wobbly to his troops of evil.

“Do you guys really not get it?” asks an Enron employee of the Illuminati. She has a similar evil to Lacey in all actuality, if Lacey is evil at all. “Not it’s not just being superior and English.”

Then the They try to kill them and molest more kids more viciously as a response thinking these women are admitting to the They’s guilt. And yet it’s possible that that warning needed to be said. And really, the They use Lacey’s every breath to try to molest kids now because of the They’s delusional disorders or souls that are possibly going to Hell for eternity if the adults don’t repent.

“It’s funny. Based on your supposed exorcism of evil in the Enron debacle…I would never have imagined that you would all mostly be so vile and useless as humans at this point in the Illuminati.” says Lacey. “The Queen seemed possibly decent. Actually, some of the more genuinely elite among you do seem decent at least from time to time.” She thinks. “And in the past, maybe 30 years ago or so, most people seemed that decent in all social classes.”

Silence.

Trying to find some way the They aren’t just worms we’re hoping don’t hurt their own kids, “Were you guys possibly more evil than the elite today?” Lacey asks Louis Hill Jr..

He thinks. “No.” he seemingly says, mournfully.

Lacey thinks. “So…was Enron really that impressively evil, so to speak? Or was the joke on Ken Lay in the end?”

Silence.

“You mean, if we didn’t engage in child sex slavery?” asks Ken Lay. “Or pedophilia in general?”

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“Maybe. Maybe most adults today are brainless zombies.” says Ken Lay. “Thanks in some part to the bullshit they’ve been sold by post Kennedy Administration evil.”

“Why? Why did they make Lem gay to keep Jack deluded?” asks a Christian.

“Because that’s the way it had to be based on the request J. P. or Rose put into the Illuminati system back in the 1930’s or 40’s, or 50’s or 60’s?” suggests Lacey.

“When Joe Sr. bought the US Presidency?” wonders an Enron employee.

“Maybe? Or possibly when Joe traveled to Nazi Illuminati Germany? Or Illuminati England as the ambassador?” wonders Lacey.

“So…WWII could have been a warning?” wonders an at least attempted intellectual.

“Possibly, possibly not.” says Lacey.

“So…you’re just fair? You’re just trying to be fair when it comes to men?” asks an Enron employee of Lacey.

“Yes.” says Lacey. “I lose interest in men who cheat.”

“And then the question becomes, did I cheat in getting Lacey.” says Michael.

“And what’s the answer?” asks Lacey.

“No.” says Michael. “Unfortunately, we were just interrupted by Mr. Blue trying to make it seem like I was rejecting you.” They laugh. “But no…unfortunately also, it does make the poor look like they’ve essentially turned into gutter shit other than their kids.” He thinks. “Lacey and I aren’t convinced all adult poor people are street trash wannabes. Matter-of-fact, we doubt that. But…doubting that is empathy. And that empathy is just used by the They to attack us.” He thinks. “Right now, it’s pathetic how much the They are making billions of US Dollars look like shit covered toilet paper meant to be flushed down a toilet and never seen again.”

“Where is our gold?” asks Lacey. “Does it exist or did idiots with access to it let their wives or mistresses use it to make earrings and bracelets and other jewelry in the 1970’s or 60’s?”

“It’s there!” says a an CIA operative.

“Is it?!” asks Lacey. “Because if it isn’t…the whole world knew that a while ago, I bet.”

—-

Later.

As Lacey is attacked for being innocent and guiltless in her moments of normalcy, as the They use her downtime breathing or enjoying her day in normal ways like walking as a Satanic excuse to molest kids, she prays for her kids. Because the They genuinely believe God isn’t real, seemingly. And the They think they’re more genuinely elite than Lacey too.

“Do we have gold reserves, Chris?” Lacey asks.

“Yeah.” he says bizarrely.

“Does the Illuminati even know?” Lacey wonders.

“We have shiplap shit on Martha’s Vineyard.” says a black man in the Illuminati.

“Can we trade that shit?” asks Lacey. “Can we use it to secure our banks?”

…

Later.

“Fort Knox Bullion Depository!” says Lacey cheerfully. “Yes! That’s what I was trying to discuss.”

Silence.

“Oh goodness! No! I’ve been wondering about whether or not there’s actual gold in there since the possibility of a real Illuminati crossed my mind.” says Lacey. “If there’s an Illuminati why would there be gold in there?” She thinks. “Which world leaders know?”

She thinks.

“Who ran the audits? Mr. Blue?” Lacey asks. “Batgirl?” She thinks. “Batgirl III’s secret girlfriend, Mrs. Blue?” She thinks. “Eww!”

Silence.

“Say, is this why you decided to sacrifice me? Because you freaked out and peed your pants like shit cowards from Hell and worried my family would wonder too many things if you let us alone?” asks Lacey. “So terrorizing us in your idiocy made sense to a cool-kid Satanist like you?”

Silence.

“Ou non? You…didn’t mean to sacrifice me? Or some of you did and some of you didn’t? …Regardless, is there gold in there?” asks Lacey. “Inquiring minds want to know.”

Silence.

“I’d love to know too.” says the possible ghost of Colin Powell.

“Who did the audit?” asks Lacey. She goes to research it. “That’s the problem. What do I say now?”

Silence.

Moneyball (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) by Mychael Danna plays.

“The thing is what if Mr. Blue had disgusting sexual relations with an auditor of Fort Knox?” asks Lacey. “Or what if Batgirl and Mrs. Blue raped an auditor?”

“So what?” asks an FBI-guy of Lacey.

“So…what if there’s not much gold left? If any. And the Bat Crew knows that and uses that to blackmail the auditors?” asks Lacey.

Silence.

“How would it get out?” asks a reader of Lacey.

“Tunnels.” says Lacey. “Possibly.”

“Huh. So…they snuck the gold out recently or a long time ago?” asks Louis.

“I don’t know. It could even be there still. But if it’s not it’s likely been lost a long time ago.” she says.

Silence.

“When was it lost?” asks Louis.

“The 1960’s?” asks Lacey. “Did they buy off the Cuban Missile Crisis?” she partially jokes.

She thinks.

“Or did they buy off lots of people to kill JFK?” she wonders.

Silence.

“It’s possible it’s still filled with gold. But it’s fascinating to consider isn’t it?” asks Lacey.

Silence.

“Actually, it’s fascinating. Because…where did all that gold go if it’s gone?” asks Lacey.

Putin smiles.

“Does he know?” she asks Batgirl III.

Batgirl III threatens Lacey.

“Oh! Is this America?” Lacey asks. “Why can’t I talk about this? What about my First Amendment right to free speech?” She thinks. “Could I have a right to free speech without it being diluted by being delineated?” She thinks. “Why do we use the Constitution? Why not use the Magna Carta?” She thinks. “Or why not operate under the terms and conditions of Russia pre 1917?”

“Because we have a country.” says FBI-guy.

“Do we?” asks Lacey.

“You’re our anti-Christ!” say the pedophiles trying to pervert the Christians or some other evil trying to destroy Lacey and her family.

“Say…what do you do?” Lacey asks FBI-guy.

“I protect the President.” he says.

“That’s nice.” says Lacey. “Who protects the child sex slaves?”

Silence.

“Not you.” says Lacey to FBI-guy.

Silence.

“So…you do protecting stuff. Huh.” says Lacey. “Must get boring sometimes?”

Silence.

“Can I make you giggle?” she asks. “What if I pose for a picture with you mocking you?”

Silence.

“Oh, I suppose you’re dressed too well to mock that easily. Huh? What is that Italian?” Lacey asks him.

Silence.

“Brooks Brothers like Lem?” she asks.

Silence.

“If someone owns you, be careful with your soul.” she says to FBI-guy.

Silence.

“The thing is…if the US doesn’t have any credibility in the world because evil is futile…then we’re toast.” says Lacey. “And betting the salvation of Earth as an inhabitable planet for humans on deluded Satanists in some stupid secret society when there’s no gold or no trust…is beyond profoundly stupid.” She thinks. “Why do we assume it’s there?”

Silence.

“It might be very depleted?” says Michael.

“Then are the lives of the child sex slaves at stake?” threatens a Batgirl III of Lacey AB’s the children.

“No! Give in and be smart! See you’ve got to stop trying to protect those kids by standing-up to evil! You have to learn to work with it. It’ll leave you alone then. Trust me! You’re using those kids like a battering ram to subdue the peasant sexy ones!” says a lesbian fan of Batgirl III. “I find Batgirl III very appealing!”

“Oh really? You have a crush on Batgirl III?” asks Lacey.

The woman we will now call Rewanda ignores Lacey.

“Why do you find Batgirl III so hot?! …If you do?” asks Lacey of Rewanda.

“You wouldn’t understand. You’re too into men and shit like that. I’m elite!” says Rewanda.

“Well, that’s gross. But what is it you find attractive about Batgirl?” asks Lacey.

“You wouldn’t understand.” the lesbian says to Lacey.

“Do you think she’s pretty?” Lacey asks the lesbian.

“Not really.” says Rewanda.

“But you think you have a crush on her?” asks Lacey.

“I might have just said that.” she says.

“She is slightly ugly.” says Lacey.

The woman looks at Lacey.

“Well, maybe if you really think you’re a lesbian you don’t care about looks?” asks Lacey.

She looks embarrassed.

“Do you find women attractive?” Lacey asks her.

She runs away either because she’s realizing she’s not queer but brainwashed or because she has a lot of violent delusions that attack Lacey. Lacey feels bad for her.

“Could she also be afraid we’ll stalk her?” says Mr. Blue.

“Why? Because she just burst your so-called polyamorous marriage’s narcissistic bubble?” asks Lacey.

Silence.

“The thing is…you three lie. If you’re like a murderous group of three psychopaths?” asks Lacey.

Michael Rockefeller and Lacey Rockefeller waltz up to Batgirl III, Mrs. Blue, and Mr. Blue.

“What exactly is it you want from the world?” asks Michael.

“We want to be the rulers of the world?” they say?

“That’s so cliché and Charismatic-End Times of you.” says Lacey in disdain.

Mr. Blue takes off his glasses to try to seduce Lacey and Michael. Lacey laughs and so does Michael.

“If they are the End Times three headed beast why do you have to be afraid of it? Jesus does win. God is still God.” says Lacey.

“Do you think they are?” asks a Charismatic.

“I have no idea. But I’ve been asking God for a rapture for a few days.” says Lacey.

“Yeah, we don’t know either.” says a Charismatic. “But that crowd could be a part of some End Times evil beast.”

“They could be.” says Lacey.

“Why weren’t we included?” asks Micheal.

“That’s true. Weren’t we evil enough in the 1950’s and 60’s to make the cool-kid cut?” asks Lacey of The Bat Crew.

“I was cool!” says Betty White.

“No! We do evil.” says Batgirl III.

“And we don’t?” asks Lacey.

“No! You two, should you be married for eternity, are just in love.” says Batgirl III through clenched teeth.

Lacey and Michael think. “Perhaps we aren’t that evil.” says Michael.

“Then why do you make us out to be evil?” asks Lacey of the Bat Crew.

They think.

…

And hours later the They try to suffocate her. And God doesn’t lose but Lacey is only human. She rests in Christ.