Category Archives: Journal

You’re The One

…Why do people think love isn’t real nowadays? I can’t tell you how many times in the last few days, at least, I’ve seen people saying that only a narcissist would claim to have a lover as their “one and only.” How awful. Do people really think monogamous true love is a lie concocted by con artists?! …I find that absurd, idiotic, ignorant and in some cases ironically narcissistic.

Do I expect to find such a love in this life? No. Not unless you count possible encounters with the supernatural in dreams or my subconscious. Ha! If twin flames or soulmates exist I highly suspect my other half is dead. I’d be shocked if that man is someone I meet in the flesh while I’m alive. But…if that’s true I’m ok with that. I’m more than ok with that in a way because I’m not God and just the hope that something that beautiful could exist in Heaven is awe-inspiring.

There’s nothing sinful or narcissistic about being wildly, passionately in love with another adult who feels the exact same way about you. And finding that “other half” when you’re already “fulfilled” is an ideal. Not a pipe dream. An ideal. A likely ideal? No. But…some people might get closer than others or actually find it. And for the rest of us there’s equally healthy romantic relationships that while not as amazing or satisfying are certainly still worth pursuing.

The problem arises when people try to pretend to others to have found the ideal or try to convince their partner of that when it just isn’t true. The problem is lying about what we have not the possibility or reality of something astounding existing that we just don’t have. Right? Right…

…Just my thoughts on the matter. As always.

Nouveau Riche Obamas?

One more post:

I read an article in the NYTimes today by (iconic journalist) Maureen Dowd calling Barack Obama and Michelle Obama nouveau riche. Self-made brilliants who styled themselves as debutantes first, too persnickety to get their dainty hands dirty with “sordid politics” while in office, rendering them at least mildly ineffective, and then once out of office became James Gatz in gauche glitter attempting and miserably failing at the (somewhat lost) art of elite exclusion.

Well…I’m always fascinated and enthralled by a good F. Scott Fitzgerald reference and I love the New York Times. But, that being said, I don’t think the Obamas are entirely nouveau riche. Barack Obama’s father was a fairly elite man in his country. Right? And for Obama’s mother to travel to Africa, fall in love with his father and then conceive and raise a future Harvard educated US President she likely wasn’t entirely “hardcore middle-class” either, so to speak. Michelle wasn’t either. She was black. She is black. And when you consider the reality of racism in the US her family was easily in the upper-middle class, in a way. The Obama family didn’t really come from “humble origins” so why would we expect them to be so “humble”? Because we have a tendency towards racism and we don’t understand social class in the US (and we’ve likely spread both our hope and confusion around the world by now).

…

Of course a genuinely brilliant couple from some (not strictly upper-class) real privilege, despite the terrible hindrances of racism, who do what they did with their lives will seem potentially bourgeois. Or if they at all move with any stability into the upper-class: “nouveau riche”. That is if they’re at all self-serving, foolish, slightly backward and/or pushy in the way an entitled middle-class person at their worst can be. It’s very easy when you come from “blessings” combined with the gifted privacy of being a member of the American middle-class of the 20th Century (even slightly) to be self-serving, foolish, slightly backward and/or pushy. Wealth of any real sort combined with the freedom of being “20th Century middle-class” is a temptation to narcissism even for those who don’t tend towards narcissism. It takes a lot of effort or wisdom or even just grace to be entirely “good” in those shoes. They’re…somewhat nouveau riche maybe but I think…more than that…they’re unaware that being black in America didn’t automatically make them James Gatz turned Jay Gatsby. …Or no…no…maybe they know that. Maybe it’s just the rest of us (so to speak) who are realizing that there are no “second acts” in American History. When it came to Barack Obama’s 60th birthday party maybe they were just the Obama family being…the Obama family… “Just” the Obama family. And maybe the Obamas are little snobby…or want to be. *smile*

Just my thoughts on my blog.