Snowflakes fall from the sky.
It’s snow falling on cement.
A Bobby Jr. raises his head and looks up into the heavens. A snowflake gets into his eye and so he blinks to shield himself from the blistering chill.
It feels soft. It’s just snow.
And in a moment of sheer genius the audience recognizes a Bobby’s…genius…as he thinks, “It’s just snow! It’s all just snow.”
A close-up. It’s a close-up. It’s his denouement.
Fast forward to a man dying while skiing.
And for a split second our so-called boy-genius wonders if snow is actually dangerous. The thing is…he read a lot of intellectual books and they all informed him that the moment when he had his denouement was his moment of enlightenment and absolute truth.
In a Bobby Jr.’s mind…the snow…is his friend. If he lets it be. It’s just snow. It’s just soft, stupid, and feminine. It’s like a really dumb, ugly old woman who isn’t cool or pretty enough to be rain. And it’s not even organized or thoughtful enough to be a lake or an ocean. It’s…conquered by skis. It’s just…fluff. He shrugs in a state of narcissistic supremacy. The way people freak out in Washington D.C. when they get a tiny bit of snow is…ignorant and weak. The way the Northeastern states handle snow is superior. Or maybe Iowa? Or Tennessee? It’s just…*shrug* snow.
“But you did the same thing with…snow?” he says to Lacey.
“But I’m from Minnesota.” she says.
He rolls his eyes. “That’s stupid.”
“She’s so turned on by you!!! Just go fuck him!” yell his friends at Lacey. He believes them…to a point.
“But it’s absurd. Minnesota is really that vastly different. I’m not sure-“ starts Lacey.
“That’s not true!” yell more if his friends who control the higher education system. “You have no idea what you’re talking about! That’s just some bullshit bourgeois Minneapolis people who suck my shit say to feel better than me.”
“You guys are just Midwestern, cowboy, farm-kid losers!!!” yell his other friends.
“But whatever! She’s not my type but if you wanna fuck her dude go ahead!” yell a few of his other friends.
“Yeah, but even if Minnetonka really is that wintry…or whatever…and you’re scientifically right…you’re just shoving him because you like him, so to speak.” says one of his friends.
A Bobby considers picking her up, running off with her and raping her but refrains. He’s decided to be a gentleman. Possibly out of respect for his parents and whatever good sense they taught him.
“Doesn’t it seem weird that I might have been in love with your uncle or something?” asks Lacey.
“You’re not that elite!!!” yell his friends in a rage. “Read the papers!!! We are the ugly elite!”
“Yeah! Suck it bitch!” yells Balenciaga with no humor intended. …Although, they secretly wink at Lacey for mercy if they’re just wrong.
“Aren’t you just really turned on?!” asks an actor getting confused.
Breathless from trying to follow everyone’s stupidity, Lacey panics.
And meanwhile Joe Jr. shakes his ass with Pat Wilson. If moms have weaknesses intellectually…dads have problems.
“I’m not aroused, I don’t think.” Lacey says trying to sort it all out slowly. And if she is it’s probably not a Bobby. It’s a dead man. S dead man not named Bobby.
“Why don’t you like Bobby’s? They’re supposedly better than snow!!!” yells a witch sincerely.
Woody Allen of some sort cracks-up laughing.
“Well I’m offended! I’m hurt!” yells a narcissistic woman bizarrely attached to a Bobby being able to sexually conquer every woman who exists.
“Is this man your hero and mentor?” Louis asks Mr. Blue.
Betty White chimes in. “See, I’d side with a Bobby. Why do you lick the boots if the upper-class?” she asks Lacey.
“Do any of you have any idea how insulting you all are to Lacey?!” asks an actor named Ed who knew Betty.
“Oh insulting? Like we’re superior to her?!” asks a group still firmly grounded in the belief that a Bobby can screw any snowflake he wants. Any raindrop. Any puddle. And any pond…he so desires.
“Hey!” says one of them diving into a literal pond with an exorbitant amount of green scum floating on top.
“Is that actually sexual to you all now?” asks Lacey.
“Yes!” he says, bobbing in and out of the green gunk.
“What if that gives you necrotizing fasciitis?” she asks.
“So by letting kids get hurt with pedophilia we’ve not created a super spiritual plan to use our sexual powers to conquer pond scum?” asks the actor. He’s being sarcastic. He’s realizing that it’s that messed-up.
“It’s an interesting theory. That you could use your sexual powers to evolve an ability to defeat pond scum. But…I’m not sold on the idea that it’s even possible.” says Louis.
“I can’t believe you all would try to steal from women by sleeping with them.” says Lacey.
Joe Sr. looks caught.
“Lem, why in the world wasn’t that what they were doing with you?” Lacey asks him.
A Belter wonders the same thing.
“Yeah! I know! They thought he was some dumb clown from the upper-class!” says Louis to Lacey in a rage.
“And the ignorance of that…is why Megan is so white now.” says Lacey. “Whether that’s good or bad.”
A sympathetic feminist paints a portrait of a woman wearing perfect Chanel in 1960…sitting on a chair as children out of control throw things over her head. She’s always been hyper. But…there’s something wrong. And no…she’s not Lacey.
“You guys are the wind beneath my wings!” a Liberal feminist says to Joe Jr. and J. P.. “All my power and those of my tribe intellectually comes from your spring.”
Louis and Lacey who actually care about progress feel enraged.
“His father was awesome!!” yells a woman.
Lacey thinks of Joe Jr.. Analyzes his sexual tendencies to be so…objective. *she laughs at him like he’s a clown* Unfortunately unlike Louis or Lem though…his mistakes are grim or he’s incapable of loving her.
“He’s incapable of loving her?” asks an actor.
“Isn’t that fascinating?!” asks Lacey.
“Why is it so upsetting that he doesn’t understand Minnesota snow?” asks an evil man in the Illuminati.
“Because people die in too much snow.” says Lacey.
“I don’t die in snow!” says Bobby Jr..
“That’s right! You tell em!” yells Joe Jr..
J. P. starts laughing.
“Joe why are you encouraging Bobby to rape me?” asks Lacey.
He looks at her coldly, playing dumb.
“Joe! It’s rape!” says Lacey.
“Because we’re a sex army recruited by J.P.. We fuck bitches! We fuck bitches!” says Jack.
“Oh wow!” says a gay man.
“Hey, Lem…could you tell Jack was in love with you?” asks an actor.
“I knew he was. Yes. And that’s part of the reason I felt so indebted to him.” he says.
“But…Lacey doesn’t know that. Doesn’t that bother you or are you that cold and selfish?” asks an actor.
Louis looks sad.
“I tested you for a reason, Lem.” says Lacey.
He pauses to think. He feels like a fool yet again. Joe Jr. cries.
“Lem…did any of those women other than you ever know those men loved them?” asks a Liberal intellectual of Lem.
He freezes. “I don’t know how to answer that. It’s really incriminating and…I don’t want to lose Lacey.“ he says.
“How is it incriminating?” asks the intellectual.
He laughs. “Because it makes me either painfully naive and possibly dangerous to trust…or evil snd heartless.”
“Hey Jack…were you a romantic?” an actor asks him.
“I’m towing the family line!!!” yells Joe Jr. out of nowwhere.
“Lacey which spirit described Joe Jr. as Lem?” asks a witch.
“Or combined Joe with Lem?” asks another witch.
“It seems more likely it was a witch in the Illuminati.” says Lacey referencing her possible father.
The witches laugh.
“Was that related to Epstein?” asks an actress.
“That makes a lot of sense.” says Lacey. “Well, and the other faux intellectuals or mistaken intellectuals who thought pedophilia was possible and isn’t just a medical derangement.”
“But I can’t be a romantic.” Jack says to everyone, but pretends it’s just to his cool friends and family.
“Why not?” someone asks him.
“Lem…were you a woman?” someone asks him, laughing.
“No. I was not.” he says with a smile before walking off to go think.
“That doesn’t mean I was gay!!” yells Jack.
“Umm.” says a gay man.
“Joe Jr. are you a romantic?” a gay man asks him.
He looks nervous.
“We’re a sex army!!!” yells Jack in defiance.
A gay man laughs.
“But Jack…what if Lem wasn’t even gay at all and you like…left him everything? Like…he wasn’t a gold digger…but…how is the relationship different on your end?” asks Lacey.
“Don’t say that!!! He loved me!!!” Jack yells violently at Lacey. He’s being serious.
“We’re a sex army!!!” Jack yells.
“And then you rape him because he’s straight?!” asks Lacey of Jack.
He looks at her sideways. He sighs.
“Jack it doesn’t work.” says Lacey.
He looks thoughtful.
“We’re a sex army!!” yells J.P..
“So you molest your sons and then they rape people and pretend to love them to steal their money and spiritual authority over their own lives?” asks Lacey.
“But Jackie was free. So Jack must have loved her or Lem must have spiritually protected her the way he was supposed to protect me.” says Lacey.
“Hey Lem! Let’s get a close-up of your ass! Bend over!” a lesbian yells at Lem.
“Jack did you kill Marilyn as a love token for Jackie?” asks a Liberal intellectual of him.
“Possibly.” says Lacey losing patience.
“My ass was vulnerable for him. The way I spiritually imagined Lacey would be vulnerable for me.” says Lem.
“So that’s a photo of Lacey?” asks the lesbian.
“But you’re not Lacey!!! You’re not a woman at all! Or gay either!” says a Belter loudly to Lem.
“So you were imitating your imaginary girlfriend Lem?” asks a Millennial woman.
“The the truth is, I was dumb enough to not realize I was just straight. And that I wasn’t some perverted, sad version of Lacey.” says Lem.
“Well Louis…you like women. Huh?” an actor asks him.
“Yes! And you can see how that works now. Huh?” answers Louis in patronizing irritation. “Good for you to grasp that part of the reality you refuse to deal with.”
“It was a beautiful idea of Joe you imagined, Lacey.” a German says empathetically to Lacey. He too becomes irate. “See…Lem is the one who likes Lacey’s ass.”
Lacey looks disturbed.
“The thing is Lem…those photos on your phone of Lacey…aren’t meant for the Kennedy’s!” a Millennial says to him.
“Just because she wasn’t there to get pregnant and trapped in a marriage with you and your clumsy asthmatic body…doesn’t mean you get to be catty end show off her body to Jack.” says another Millennial.
“Did you think she’d made you gay?” asks the Millennial woman of Lem.
“I hated her for never being there.” he says either seriously or slightly poetically. “And I might have thought she was off with some other guy. But…I didn’t mean her any harm.”
“Then why did you share her photos?” asks the Millennial woman.
“Because I felt she wouldn’t mind. Because…I couldn’t have her. I was just a gay fag. And…she didn’t exist most likely. And…she would be mine anyway.” says Lem.
“But even if I was already yours you made it all about Jack. And not at all about me.” says Lacey.
“We’re wondering if you decided to sadistically torture Lacey to give your soul to Jack for genuinely perverse reasons.” say a group of Millennials.
“No!” he yells. “No, that’s not what I did.”
“Then what the fuck?!” a Millennial woman asks him.
“I was too stupid to realize she’d care.” he says.
“Why wouldn’t she care?” Michael asks him.
“Because she’s just…me. And…I’m a fag?” he says.
“Jack you find Lacey beguiling don’t you?” asks a Millennial of Jack.
He refuses to answer.
“Yeah!” he says coldly, dryly.
“Who else did you want to rape?” asks a witch of Jack.
“Michael.” he admits creepily. “Not that I necessarily knew who he was. But damn!” he says creepily. He starts rocking back and forth.
“Who else?” asks a witch.
“I don’t know. Lots of them.” he says.
“What about my grandson?” Scott asks him.
“Yeah!!” says Jack, losing his mind to the demon his father set him up with?
“Do you think you started Vietnam spiritually by shaking your ass through Lem and trying to make love to him without realizing he didn’t want it in any real way?” asks a woman in the Illuminati.
“Possibly.” Lacey says to them, losing patience.
“I wasn’t going to fight in Vietnam, Jack.” Michael says.
“I know. But let’s keep that between us, kiddo!” he says grinning to Michael. *Jack giggles*
“Jack…did you realize that was a photo of Lacey’s vagina at some point? Intuitively. And you couldn’t figure out who to blame? Lem for being secretly straight and being too innocent and genuinely stupid to be able to kill righteously…or Jackie for being too catty…or your dad for being a liar and a heartless pervert…or Joe for being so unspeakably self-righteous?” asks a Millennial woman.
“Kennedy sex army unite!!!!” says Lacey sarcastically.
“Teamwork!!!” she yells sarcastically. “We can do this bitches!!! Grab your Birkins…grab your last shit out of the toilet, put it in the Birkin, put in your Louboutins, wear your tightest pants, and put on some sexy music. You got work do tonight whores of Mr. Kennedy’s Hell! Ship-shape assholes!” she says mockingly of their whole family but especially the current generation of so-called leaders.
“Lacey, I take you find a Bobby Jr. repulsive sexually?” asks a Millennial woman.
“Yes. I might.” she says. “More than I can even possibly comprehend.”
“What’s wrong with me?” he asks pleadingly.
“Don’t! You can’t! You can’t reject him!” yells an Ethel at Lacey.
“He’s handsome in an objective way. But he’s…not attractive to me.” she says.
“Do you find him even a little bit attractive?” asks Ghislaine of Lacey kindly.
Lacey smiles. Calms down. Ghislaine will understand.
“What if I don’t?” she asks in panic.
“Not even a little?” asks another woman.
“So here’s where I’m confused: I find almost all men other than my family attractive. Slightly.” says Lacey. “I could have talked myself into finding him more attractive than I normally would to be kind.” She thinks. “But I’m wondering if I actually find him mildly attractive because he’s a man and not my relative or if he’s an exception.”
“Like he’s actually a rare exception of a mildly handsome man who you find repulsive anyway?” asks Ghislaine.
“Possibly.” she ponders.
“Isn’t that something if it’s true?” asks Lacey.
“The thing is…he’s such a let down to look at after seeing how handsome Joe Jr. was.” says Lacey. “He’s a vain joke. Like some literal piece of shit in human form.”
“I’m too damn busy fucking Pat to talk right now!” says Joe Jr. with a big smile.
“And I’m too hot with Lemmers my true love!” says Jack stammering.
“Umm…Mr. President…is that Lemmers, or is that someone else?” asks an American.
“It’s Lemmers!!” he says giggling, high on acid dancing with a man? The man is not Lem. And never was or will be.
“What about Lacey and Lem?” yells a Millennial woman at him.
“Who?” he says, giggling.
“Lacey and Lem!” yells a Millennial at him.
“Bobby?!” he asks giggling, falling and being caught by a man behind him who drags him off the dance floor.
“Clapping is fun!!” he says breathlessly clapping, as a man walks off with him.
“The they in the Illuminati freak out.” narrates Michael.
“Why?” asks Lacey.
“Because Lem might be innocent and heterosexual. And Jack might be falling in love with a really great guy?” says Michael.
“And they can’t handle what? That homosexuality might not be deranged even if pedophilia is? Or what? That Jack is possibly actually happy?” asks Lacey.
“When is it my turn to be loved?” asks a Bobby Jr. repeatedly over and over, rocking himself.
“Or is it that homosexuality is…but it’s not as dangerous or deranged as pedophilia?” asks Lacey.
“It’s not that! It’s that I want to eat your soul and feed it my uncle! And my mom because she’s prettier than you! And Joe will save you because he loves you! I just know it!” says a Bobby Jr..
“Why isn’t Joe in love with Lacey?” asks Lem feeling sorry for himself.
“Because he just isn’t! Maybe I’m not that pretty?!” Lacey suggests to him.
Lem thinks. “Lacey, am I that much prettier than Joe?”
“You’re a far more handsome man, so to speak.” says Lacey.
“Darn it that Trader Joe’s started putting lead in their chocolate!” says Lacey, upset.
“Lacey, what if Joe stole you from me to feel more pretty?” Lem asks her.
“Is Joe’s voice as sexy as Lem’s?” a Millennial woman asks Lacey.
“No. Joe sounds more youthful. And effeminate.” says Lacey. “Lem sounds high-pitched but when he’s not doing gay drag, he’s actually a lot more masculine.” She thinks. “Actually, even when he’s doing gay drag he’s far more masculine.”
“So you were going to be with Scott? …You know, what if that bothered me?” asks Mr. Blue.
“Possibly. But up that last moment you’ve handled it badly.” says Lacey.
“Why did you sacrifice Jeff?” asks Lacey.
“Does it matter?” asks a rapper.
“It might.” says Lacey.
Hillary and Bill freak out. For idiotic, bourgeois, embarrassing reasons.
“Well, maybe my parents were a little stricter than your parents!” Hillary yells at Lacey.
“But that’s the thing. If you’re dysfunctional due to narcissism that’s…like…a spiritual and medical issue. But…otherwise how do you handle reality? And your lack of sophistication and teeth aren’t necessarily your fault, in my opinion. And I think it’s sick you were expected to be elite in a way that’s totally unfair to you.” says Lacey. She thinks. “Your power rests with the integrity of the Kennedy’s to be what they represented themselves as being.”
“And what if they lied in ways we don’t understand?” asks Hillary.
“No!!!” says Joe whining.
“What?” asks Lacey. “Did you steal me from Lem?”
He refuses to answer.
He sings. His voice sounds soft but in a masculine way…but then it becomes clear that he still has to prove he’s a man. And thus far…as much as he’s tried…it’s not clear.
“I’m Lem.” says a Bobby Jr. to cope.
“I’m Tommy Banks!” says his friend.
“Oh! You think I’m channeling them?!” asks Lacey.
“Yes! You’re so smug! But in reality I’m a brilliant expert! At almost everything! And my mom is God. And you’re a paltry piece of shit from a poor farm owned by James Gatz.” says a Bobby Jr. to Lacey.
“I can’t handle looking at my husband! Because I married him to look like Jack! My hero!” says a Millennial politician, who’s hyperventilating.
“Why can’t you just figure that out in a normal way?” asks Lacey.
“Because!” he says in a hissy fit.
“Because?” asks Lacey, devastated.
“See! I don’t have to!” he says delusionally.
“Your husband is hot. What in the world is your problem?” asks Lacey.
A Millennial woman rolls her eyes. “I think he’s just fishing for a compliment.”
“No. He’s not necessarily. I think he’s possibly that much of jerk.” says Lacey.
“Why are you mad, Lacey?” a Millennial woman asks her.
“Because he’s being perverse. His husband is gorgeous. He’s the ugly one between them. And what? He can’t handle that role? He’s really narcissistic and stupid? He’s a political poser with a Millennial disorder?” asks Lacey.
“Why can’t you see Jack is me. Symbolically. And I’m gay and so is Lem. And we are the living proof…of Christ. We are…the second coming of Jack and Lem.” he says.
“Bobby dances, trying to Chanel the Holy Spirit.” says Michael. “He lifts his hands to Heaven and tries to feel it.”
“Jesus getting you joys high tonight?” asks Harvey.
“I believe you are making a biting hermeneutic crisis joke?” Lacey asks of Harvey.
“I think Jesus was gay too!” says a Bobby.
“So…I stole Lacey Rockefeller from the Asmats for a pleasure cruise?” Joe Jr. asks.
“Lem, Lacey is very shy at most about her beauty. Are you the opposite?” asks a Millennial woman.
“You might have.” says Lacey. “I do love Lem though.”
“Hey! Hooker? Whatcha up to?” Louis asks Joe as Lacey watches.
“It’s a Wilson Moment.” says Pat showing up to explain. “If you’re looking for more information about our services call this number or read the second page of our free, helpful brochure.”
Jack looks upset. He feels like he needs better representation.
“I’m sorry. It’s just us. We don’t work with family. It’s gross.” Joe explains to Jack.
“But…I don’t want to be in the army anymore.” Jack says to Joe. He pouts.
“Who’s your hot Jew? You jerk!!” yells Joe Jr..
“Are you really that petty?” Lacey asks Joe.
“Yes.” says a man.
“So…Jack is dating a hot Jewish man and…it might not even last for eternity…and…it’s possibly somewhat tragic…and…you’re jealous?!” asks Lacey.
“You just can’t believe he sees that man’s good looks.” Pat Wilson says to Lacey.
“Yes.” says Lacey.
“No!! I’m foundationally inappropriately unable to concede my husband is a jet. He’s gay. I’m gay. We’re in love and I won’t let some peasant sex slave who’s seven steal my husband.” says a man named Pete.
“So you don’t like your husband?” Lacey asks him.
“I don’t know. I might not. And it scares me to realize how much I’ve obsessively based my entire personality around JFK. I’m scared of how deranged that makes me.”
Lacey thinks. “So you do like Harold Loeb’s look or not?”
“Not really.” he says.
“Even in some of his better pictures?” asks Lacey.
“Okay, he is hot.” he admits.
“No, I didn’t date a lot of guys like that. But…I’m not sure I was ever into that.” says Pete.
“Fair enough. Then why is this my problem?” she asks.
“Because they used us.” Pete says.
“I’m going to stalk you, bitch!” says a Bobby Jr. to Lacey.
“Pat you need better mentors.” says a dead big time drug dealer, jokingly.
“What’s your problem, Bobby?” asks a man in the Illuminati.
“I don’t want to be wrong.” he says about Lacey. “She’s right and I’m wrong.”
“About what?” a man asks him.
“Life.” he says.
“Look, I wasn’t there. And if I was, you all probably terrified me.” says Lacey to his years with Lem.
“Hey, Joe…I didn’t choose for you to screw me over by sleeping around and lying to me about it. Did I?” asks Lacey.
“I can’t handle that you didn’t believe me.” he says to her.
“Jack has better sex than you.” Lacey says to him.
“My pussy doesn’t satisfy like hers!” Pat cries to her mentor about why Joe keeps stalking Lacey, claiming to be in love.
“Fine!” Joe says to Lacey.
“You don’t love me. You just love sex?” asks Lacey.
“Don’t keep calling me out!” says Joe Jr. to Lacey.
“Joe. Are you sure you want me to destroy you if you’re just being evil?” asks Louis. “Lacey doesn’t want to fuck you if you’re just using her.”
“Yes she does!” says Joe.
“No. Joe, I’ve slept with her more than you have. And you slept with her twice. Maybe three times her whole life?” says Michael.
“Joe, Lem has almost gotten her pregnant. And he’s dead.” says Louis.
“That’s not-“ starts Joe.
“That’s not sex?” asks Lacey.
“Joe…are you innocent or did you get addicted to Lem the way Jack did?” asks a wizard.
“No. I love Pat.” he says.
“Are you innocent or guilty?” Lacey asks.
“She loved me. I…may have loved her. But if I did I wouldn’t admit to it. I don’t admit to things. But I do have to say I love her ass and face and breasts and whole body.” says Joe
“So it was mostly lust.” Lacey says to Joe.
“Yes.” he admits?
“That’s intriguing if it’s true. And you used demons to control and attack me my whole life?” asks Lacey.
“So…he could have loved me…but when Pat died the Illuminati took over and that was the end of the Joe possibility.” says Lacey.
“Cunt!” Joe yells at Lacey.
“That’s not fair.” says Lacey calmly to Joe.
“Really?!” says Lem. “I think you’re a huge cunt.” He’s being sarcastic.
“See! He’s lying! He’s lying! He lying! He’s lying! Lying! He’s lying! He’s lying! He hates you! He hates you! He’s mine. He’s my boyfriend. I married him at 14 like Holly Golightly.” says a Bobby Jr.. “My uncle never existed. I’m my uncle. That’s how awesome our love was. I took it and made something out of it. I’m a creator. And I’ll tell you…Lem loves me more than he could have ever loved my dad uncle loser pants. My father loved-And I love. And you just…don’t know.” says a Bobby Jr..
“Did Lem touch you sexually, Bobby?” asks a perfume hater.
“No.” he says sadly.
“No sadly, or no?” asks Lacey.
“No!!!” he yells.
“So that’s no, nothing sexual ever happened between you two?” asks Lacey.
“No. Nothing ever happened.” he says to her.
“Then I don’t think you married him other than in your family’s delusion and in Lem’s mind I think he worried that you were that psychologically troubled but he rationalized it.” says Lacey to a Bobby Jr.. “Yeah, to clarify I don’t think he returned your passions.”
A Bobby Jr. nods, possibly or possibly not understanding.