The Genius

Snowflakes fall from the sky.

It’s snow falling on cement.

A Bobby Jr. raises his head and looks up into the heavens. A snowflake gets into his eye and so he blinks to shield himself from the blistering chill.

It feels soft. It’s just snow.

And in a moment of sheer genius the audience recognizes a Bobby’s…genius…as he thinks, “It’s just snow! It’s all just snow.”

A close-up. It’s a close-up. It’s his denouement.

Fast forward to a man dying while skiing.

And for a split second our so-called boy-genius wonders if snow is actually dangerous. The thing is…he read a lot of intellectual books and they all informed him that the moment when he had his denouement was his moment of enlightenment and absolute truth.

In a Bobby Jr.’s mind…the snow…is his friend. If he lets it be. It’s just snow. It’s just soft, stupid, and feminine. It’s like a really dumb, ugly old woman who isn’t cool or pretty enough to be rain. And it’s not even organized or thoughtful enough to be a lake or an ocean. It’s…conquered by skis. It’s just…fluff. He shrugs in a state of narcissistic supremacy. The way people freak out in Washington D.C. when they get a tiny bit of snow is…ignorant and weak. The way the Northeastern states handle snow is superior. Or maybe Iowa? Or Tennessee? It’s just…*shrug* snow.

“But you did the same thing with…snow?” he says to Lacey.

“But I’m from Minnesota.” she says.

He rolls his eyes. “That’s stupid.”

“She’s so turned on by you!!! Just go fuck him!” yell his friends at Lacey. He believes them…to a point.

“But it’s absurd. Minnesota is really that vastly different. I’m not sure-“ starts Lacey.

“That’s not true!” yell more if his friends who control the higher education system. “You have no idea what you’re talking about! That’s just some bullshit bourgeois Minneapolis people who suck my shit say to feel better than me.”

“You guys are just Midwestern, cowboy, farm-kid losers!!!” yell his other friends.

“But whatever! She’s not my type but if you wanna fuck her dude go ahead!” yell a few of his other friends.

“Yeah, but even if Minnetonka really is that wintry…or whatever…and you’re scientifically right…you’re just shoving him because you like him, so to speak.” says one of his friends.

A Bobby considers picking her up, running off with her and raping her but refrains. He’s decided to be a gentleman. Possibly out of respect for his parents and whatever good sense they taught him.

“Doesn’t it seem weird that I might have been in love with your uncle or something?” asks Lacey.

“You’re not that elite!!!” yell his friends in a rage. “Read the papers!!! We are the ugly elite!”

“Yeah! Suck it bitch!” yells Balenciaga with no humor intended. …Although, they secretly wink at Lacey for mercy if they’re just wrong.

“Aren’t you just really turned on?!” asks an actor getting confused.

Breathless from trying to follow everyone’s stupidity, Lacey panics.

And meanwhile Joe Jr. shakes his ass with Pat Wilson. If moms have weaknesses intellectually…dads have problems.

“I’m not aroused, I don’t think.” Lacey says trying to sort it all out slowly. And if she is it’s probably not a Bobby. It’s a dead man. S dead man not named Bobby.

“Why don’t you like Bobby’s? They’re supposedly better than snow!!!” yells a witch sincerely.

Woody Allen of some sort cracks-up laughing.

“Well I’m offended! I’m hurt!” yells a narcissistic woman bizarrely attached to a Bobby being able to sexually conquer every woman who exists.

“Is this man your hero and mentor?” Louis asks Mr. Blue.

Betty White chimes in. “See, I’d side with a Bobby. Why do you lick the boots if the upper-class?” she asks Lacey.

“Do any of you have any idea how insulting you all are to Lacey?!” asks an actor named Ed who knew Betty.

“Oh insulting? Like we’re superior to her?!” asks a group still firmly grounded in the belief that a Bobby can screw any snowflake he wants. Any raindrop. Any puddle. And any pond…he so desires.

“Hey!” says one of them diving into a literal pond with an exorbitant amount of green scum floating on top.

“Is that actually sexual to you all now?” asks Lacey.

“Yes!” he says, bobbing in and out of the green gunk.

“What if that gives you necrotizing fasciitis?” she asks.

“So by letting kids get hurt with pedophilia we’ve not created a super spiritual plan to use our sexual powers to conquer pond scum?” asks the actor. He’s being sarcastic. He’s realizing that it’s that messed-up.

“It’s an interesting theory. That you could use your sexual powers to evolve an ability to defeat pond scum. But…I’m not sold on the idea that it’s even possible.” says Louis.

“I can’t believe you all would try to steal from women by sleeping with them.” says Lacey.

Joe Sr. looks caught.

“Lem, why in the world wasn’t that what they were doing with you?” Lacey asks him.

A Belter wonders the same thing.

“Yeah! I know! They thought he was some dumb clown from the upper-class!” says Louis to Lacey in a rage.

“And the ignorance of that…is why Megan is so white now.” says Lacey. “Whether that’s good or bad.”

A sympathetic feminist paints a portrait of a woman wearing perfect Chanel in 1960…sitting on a chair as children out of control throw things over her head. She’s always been hyper. But…there’s something wrong. And no…she’s not Lacey.

“You guys are the wind beneath my wings!” a Liberal feminist says to Joe Jr. and J. P.. “All my power and those of my tribe intellectually comes from your spring.”

Louis and Lacey who actually care about progress feel enraged.

“His father was awesome!!” yells a woman.

Lacey thinks of Joe Jr.. Analyzes his sexual tendencies to be so…objective. *she laughs at him like he’s a clown* Unfortunately unlike Louis or Lem though…his mistakes are grim or he’s incapable of loving her.

“He’s incapable of loving her?” asks an actor.

“Isn’t that fascinating?!” asks Lacey.

“Why is it so upsetting that he doesn’t understand Minnesota snow?” asks an evil man in the Illuminati.

“Because people die in too much snow.” says Lacey.

“I don’t die in snow!” says Bobby Jr..

“That’s right! You tell em!” yells Joe Jr..

J. P. starts laughing.

“Joe why are you encouraging Bobby to rape me?” asks Lacey.

He looks at her coldly, playing dumb.

“Joe! It’s rape!” says Lacey.

“Because we’re a sex army recruited by J.P.. We fuck bitches! We fuck bitches!” says Jack.

“Oh wow!” says a gay man.

“Hey, Lem…could you tell Jack was in love with you?” asks an actor.

“I knew he was. Yes. And that’s part of the reason I felt so indebted to him.” he says.

“But…Lacey doesn’t know that. Doesn’t that bother you or are you that cold and selfish?” asks an actor.

Louis looks sad.

Genevra scoffs.

“I tested you for a reason, Lem.” says Lacey.

He pauses to think. He feels like a fool yet again. Joe Jr. cries.

“Lem…did any of those women other than you ever know those men loved them?” asks a Liberal intellectual of Lem.

He freezes. “I don’t know how to answer that. It’s really incriminating and…I don’t want to lose Lacey.“ he says.

“How is it incriminating?” asks the intellectual.

He laughs. “Because it makes me either painfully naive and possibly dangerous to trust…or evil snd heartless.”

“Hey Jack…were you a romantic?” an actor asks him.

“I’m towing the family line!!!” yells Joe Jr. out of nowwhere.

“Lacey which spirit described Joe Jr. as Lem?” asks a witch.

“Or combined Joe with Lem?” asks another witch.

“It seems more likely it was a witch in the Illuminati.” says Lacey referencing her possible father.

The witches laugh.

“Was that related to Epstein?” asks an actress.

“That makes a lot of sense.” says Lacey. “Well, and the other faux intellectuals or mistaken intellectuals who thought pedophilia was possible and isn’t just a medical derangement.”

“But I can’t be a romantic.” Jack says to everyone, but pretends it’s just to his cool friends and family.

“Why not?” someone asks him.

“Lem…were you a woman?” someone asks him, laughing.

“No. I was not.” he says with a smile before walking off to go think.

“That doesn’t mean I was gay!!” yells Jack.

“Umm.” says a gay man.

“Joe Jr. are you a romantic?” a gay man asks him.

He looks nervous.

“We’re a sex army!!!” yells Jack in defiance.

A gay man laughs.

“But Jack…what if Lem wasn’t even gay at all and you like…left him everything? Like…he wasn’t a gold digger…but…how is the relationship different on your end?” asks Lacey.

“Don’t say that!!! He loved me!!!” Jack yells violently at Lacey. He’s being serious.

“We’re a sex army!!!” Jack yells.

“And then you rape him because he’s straight?!” asks Lacey of Jack.

He looks at her sideways. He sighs.

“Jack it doesn’t work.” says Lacey.

He looks thoughtful.

“We’re a sex army!!” yells J.P..

“So you molest your sons and then they rape people and pretend to love them to steal their money and spiritual authority over their own lives?” asks Lacey.


“But Jackie was free. So Jack must have loved her or Lem must have spiritually protected her the way he was supposed to protect me.” says Lacey.

“Hey Lem! Let’s get a close-up of your ass! Bend over!” a lesbian yells at Lem.

“Jack did you kill Marilyn as a love token for Jackie?” asks a Liberal intellectual of him.

“Possibly.” says Lacey losing patience.

“My ass was vulnerable for him. The way I spiritually imagined Lacey would be vulnerable for me.” says Lem.

“So that’s a photo of Lacey?” asks the lesbian.

“But you’re not Lacey!!! You’re not a woman at all! Or gay either!” says a Belter loudly to Lem.

“So you were imitating your imaginary girlfriend Lem?” asks a Millennial woman.

“The the truth is, I was dumb enough to not realize I was just straight. And that I wasn’t some perverted, sad version of Lacey.” says Lem.

“Well Louis…you like women. Huh?” an actor asks him.

“Yes! And you can see how that works now. Huh?” answers Louis in patronizing irritation. “Good for you to grasp that part of the reality you refuse to deal with.”

“It was a beautiful idea of Joe you imagined, Lacey.” a German says empathetically to Lacey. He too becomes irate. “See…Lem is the one who likes Lacey’s ass.”

Lacey looks disturbed.

“The thing is Lem…those photos on your phone of Lacey…aren’t meant for the Kennedy’s!” a Millennial says to him.

“Just because she wasn’t there to get pregnant and trapped in a marriage with you and your clumsy asthmatic body…doesn’t mean you get to be catty end show off her body to Jack.” says another Millennial.

“Did you think she’d made you gay?” asks the Millennial woman of Lem.

“I hated her for never being there.” he says either seriously or slightly poetically. “And I might have thought she was off with some other guy. But…I didn’t mean her any harm.”

“Then why did you share her photos?” asks the Millennial woman.

“Because I felt she wouldn’t mind. Because…I couldn’t have her. I was just a gay fag. And…she didn’t exist most likely. And…she would be mine anyway.” says Lem.

“But even if I was already yours you made it all about Jack. And not at all about me.” says Lacey.

“We’re wondering if you decided to sadistically torture Lacey to give your soul to Jack for genuinely perverse reasons.” say a group of Millennials.

“No!” he yells. “No, that’s not what I did.”

“Then what the fuck?!” a Millennial woman asks him.

“I was too stupid to realize she’d care.” he says.

“Why wouldn’t she care?” Michael asks him.

“Because she’s just…me. And…I’m a fag?” he says.

“Jack you find Lacey beguiling don’t you?” asks a Millennial of Jack.

He refuses to answer.

“Yeah!” he says coldly, dryly.

“Who else did you want to rape?” asks a witch of Jack.

“Michael.” he admits creepily. “Not that I necessarily knew who he was. But damn!” he says creepily. He starts rocking back and forth.

“Who else?” asks a witch.

“I don’t know. Lots of them.” he says.

“What about my grandson?” Scott asks him.

“Yeah!!” says Jack, losing his mind to the demon his father set him up with?

“Do you think you started Vietnam spiritually by shaking your ass through Lem and trying to make love to him without realizing he didn’t want it in any real way?” asks a woman in the Illuminati.

“Possibly.” Lacey says to them, losing patience.

“I wasn’t going to fight in Vietnam, Jack.” Michael says.

“I know. But let’s keep that between us, kiddo!” he says grinning to Michael. *Jack giggles*

Michael laughs.

“Jack…did you realize that was a photo of Lacey’s vagina at some point? Intuitively. And you couldn’t figure out who to blame? Lem for being secretly straight and being too innocent and genuinely stupid to be able to kill righteously…or Jackie for being too catty…or your dad for being a liar and a heartless pervert…or Joe for being so unspeakably self-righteous?” asks a Millennial woman.

“Kennedy sex army unite!!!!” says Lacey sarcastically.


“Teamwork!!!” she yells sarcastically. “We can do this bitches!!! Grab your Birkins…grab your last shit out of the toilet, put it in the Birkin, put in your Louboutins, wear your tightest pants, and put on some sexy music. You got work do tonight whores of Mr. Kennedy’s Hell! Ship-shape assholes!” she says mockingly of their whole family but especially the current generation of so-called leaders.

“Lacey, I take you find a Bobby Jr. repulsive sexually?” asks a Millennial woman.

“Yes. I might.” she says. “More than I can even possibly comprehend.”

“What’s wrong with me?” he asks pleadingly.

“Don’t! You can’t! You can’t reject him!” yells an Ethel at Lacey.

“He’s handsome in an objective way. But he’s…not attractive to me.” she says.

“Do you find him even a little bit attractive?” asks Ghislaine of Lacey kindly.

Lacey smiles. Calms down. Ghislaine will understand.

“What if I don’t?” she asks in panic.

“Not even a little?” asks another woman.

“So here’s where I’m confused: I find almost all men other than my family attractive. Slightly.” says Lacey. “I could have talked myself into finding him more attractive than I normally would to be kind.” She thinks. “But I’m wondering if I actually find him mildly attractive because he’s a man and not my relative or if he’s an exception.”

“Like he’s actually a rare exception of a mildly handsome man who you find repulsive anyway?” asks Ghislaine.

“Possibly.” she ponders.


“Isn’t that something if it’s true?” asks Lacey.


“The thing is…he’s such a let down to look at after seeing how handsome Joe Jr. was.” says Lacey. “He’s a vain joke. Like some literal piece of shit in human form.”

“I’m too damn busy fucking Pat to talk right now!” says Joe Jr. with a big smile.

“And I’m too hot with Lemmers my true love!” says Jack stammering.

“Umm…Mr. President…is that Lemmers, or is that someone else?” asks an American.

“It’s Lemmers!!” he says giggling, high on acid dancing with a man? The man is not Lem. And never was or will be.

“What about Lacey and Lem?” yells a Millennial woman at him.

“Who?” he says, giggling.

“Lacey and Lem!” yells a Millennial at him.

“Bobby?!” he asks giggling, falling and being caught by a man behind him who drags him off the dance floor.


“Clapping is fun!!” he says breathlessly clapping, as a man walks off with him.

“The they in the Illuminati freak out.” narrates Michael.

“Why?” asks Lacey.

“Because Lem might be innocent and heterosexual. And Jack might be falling in love with a really great guy?” says Michael.

“And they can’t handle what? That homosexuality might not be deranged even if pedophilia is? Or what? That Jack is possibly actually happy?” asks Lacey.

“When is it my turn to be loved?” asks a Bobby Jr. repeatedly over and over, rocking himself.

“Or is it that homosexuality is…but it’s not as dangerous or deranged as pedophilia?” asks Lacey.

“It’s not that! It’s that I want to eat your soul and feed it my uncle! And my mom because she’s prettier than you! And Joe will save you because he loves you! I just know it!” says a Bobby Jr..

“Why isn’t Joe in love with Lacey?” asks Lem feeling sorry for himself.

“Because he just isn’t! Maybe I’m not that pretty?!” Lacey suggests to him.

Lem thinks. “Lacey, am I that much prettier than Joe?”

“You’re a far more handsome man, so to speak.” says Lacey.

Long silence.

“Darn it that Trader Joe’s started putting lead in their chocolate!” says Lacey, upset.

“Lacey, what if Joe stole you from me to feel more pretty?” Lem asks her.

“Is Joe’s voice as sexy as Lem’s?” a Millennial woman asks Lacey.

“No. Joe sounds more youthful. And effeminate.” says Lacey. “Lem sounds high-pitched but when he’s not doing gay drag, he’s actually a lot more masculine.” She thinks. “Actually, even when he’s doing gay drag he’s far more masculine.”

“So you were going to be with Scott? …You know, what if that bothered me?” asks Mr. Blue.

“Possibly. But up that last moment you’ve handled it badly.” says Lacey.

“Why did you sacrifice Jeff?” asks Lacey.

“Does it matter?” asks a rapper.

“It might.” says Lacey.

Hillary and Bill freak out. For idiotic, bourgeois, embarrassing reasons.

“Well, maybe my parents were a little stricter than your parents!” Hillary yells at Lacey.

“But that’s the thing. If you’re dysfunctional due to narcissism that’s…like…a spiritual and medical issue. But…otherwise how do you handle reality? And your lack of sophistication and teeth aren’t necessarily your fault, in my opinion. And I think it’s sick you were expected to be elite in a way that’s totally unfair to you.” says Lacey. She thinks. “Your power rests with the integrity of the Kennedy’s to be what they represented themselves as being.”

“And what if they lied in ways we don’t understand?” asks Hillary.

“No!!!” says Joe whining.

“What?” asks Lacey. “Did you steal me from Lem?”

He refuses to answer.

He sings. His voice sounds soft but in a masculine way…but then it becomes clear that he still has to prove he’s a man. And thus far…as much as he’s tried…it’s not clear.

“I’m Lem.” says a Bobby Jr. to cope.

“I’m Tommy Banks!” says his friend.

“Oh! You think I’m channeling them?!” asks Lacey.

“Yes! You’re so smug! But in reality I’m a brilliant expert! At almost everything! And my mom is God. And you’re a paltry piece of shit from a poor farm owned by James Gatz.” says a Bobby Jr. to Lacey.

“I can’t handle looking at my husband! Because I married him to look like Jack! My hero!” says a Millennial politician, who’s hyperventilating.

“Why can’t you just figure that out in a normal way?” asks Lacey.

“Because!” he says in a hissy fit.

“Because?” asks Lacey, devastated.

“See! I don’t have to!” he says delusionally.

“Your husband is hot. What in the world is your problem?” asks Lacey.

A Millennial woman rolls her eyes. “I think he’s just fishing for a compliment.”

“No. He’s not necessarily. I think he’s possibly that much of jerk.” says Lacey.

“Why are you mad, Lacey?” a Millennial woman asks her.

“Because he’s being perverse. His husband is gorgeous. He’s the ugly one between them. And what? He can’t handle that role? He’s really narcissistic and stupid? He’s a political poser with a Millennial disorder?” asks Lacey.

“Why can’t you see Jack is me. Symbolically. And I’m gay and so is Lem. And we are the living proof…of Christ. We are…the second coming of Jack and Lem.” he says.

“Bobby dances, trying to Chanel the Holy Spirit.” says Michael. “He lifts his hands to Heaven and tries to feel it.”

“Jesus getting you joys high tonight?” asks Harvey.

“I believe you are making a biting hermeneutic crisis joke?” Lacey asks of Harvey.

“I think Jesus was gay too!” says a Bobby.

“So…I stole Lacey Rockefeller from the Asmats for a pleasure cruise?” Joe Jr. asks.

“Lem, Lacey is very shy at most about her beauty. Are you the opposite?” asks a Millennial woman.

“You might have.” says Lacey. “I do love Lem though.”

“Hey! Hooker? Whatcha up to?” Louis asks Joe as Lacey watches.

“It’s a Wilson Moment.” says Pat showing up to explain. “If you’re looking for more information about our services call this number or read the second page of our free, helpful brochure.”

Jack looks upset. He feels like he needs better representation.

“I’m sorry. It’s just us. We don’t work with family. It’s gross.” Joe explains to Jack.

“But…I don’t want to be in the army anymore.” Jack says to Joe. He pouts.

“Who’s your hot Jew? You jerk!!” yells Joe Jr..

“Are you really that petty?” Lacey asks Joe.

“Yes.” says a man.

“So…Jack is dating a hot Jewish man and…it might not even last for eternity…and…it’s possibly somewhat tragic…and…you’re jealous?!” asks Lacey.

“You just can’t believe he sees that man’s good looks.” Pat Wilson says to Lacey.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“No!! I’m foundationally inappropriately unable to concede my husband is a jet. He’s gay. I’m gay. We’re in love and I won’t let some peasant sex slave who’s seven steal my husband.” says a man named Pete.

“So you don’t like your husband?” Lacey asks him.

“I don’t know. I might not. And it scares me to realize how much I’ve obsessively based my entire personality around JFK. I’m scared of how deranged that makes me.”

Lacey thinks. “So you do like Harold Loeb’s look or not?”

“Not really.” he says.

“Even in some of his better pictures?” asks Lacey.

“Okay, he is hot.” he admits.

“No, I didn’t date a lot of guys like that. But…I’m not sure I was ever into that.” says Pete.


“Fair enough. Then why is this my problem?” she asks.

“Because they used us.” Pete says.

“I’m going to stalk you, bitch!” says a Bobby Jr. to Lacey.

“Pat you need better mentors.” says a dead big time drug dealer, jokingly.

“What’s your problem, Bobby?” asks a man in the Illuminati.

“I don’t want to be wrong.” he says about Lacey. “She’s right and I’m wrong.”

“About what?” a man asks him.

“Life.” he says.

“Look, I wasn’t there. And if I was, you all probably terrified me.” says Lacey to his years with Lem.

“Hey, Joe…I didn’t choose for you to screw me over by sleeping around and lying to me about it. Did I?” asks Lacey.

Jack cries.

“I can’t handle that you didn’t believe me.” he says to her.

“Jack has better sex than you.” Lacey says to him.

“My pussy doesn’t satisfy like hers!” Pat cries to her mentor about why Joe keeps stalking Lacey, claiming to be in love.

“Fine!” Joe says to Lacey.

“You don’t love me. You just love sex?” asks Lacey.

“Don’t keep calling me out!” says Joe Jr. to Lacey.

“Joe. Are you sure you want me to destroy you if you’re just being evil?” asks Louis. “Lacey doesn’t want to fuck you if you’re just using her.”

“Yes she does!” says Joe.

“No. Joe, I’ve slept with her more than you have. And you slept with her twice. Maybe three times her whole life?” says Michael.

“Joe, Lem has almost gotten her pregnant. And he’s dead.” says Louis.

“That’s not-“ starts Joe.

“That’s not sex?” asks Lacey.

“Joe…are you innocent or did you get addicted to Lem the way Jack did?” asks a wizard.

“No. I love Pat.” he says.

“Are you innocent or guilty?” Lacey asks.

“She loved me. I…may have loved her. But if I did I wouldn’t admit to it. I don’t admit to things. But I do have to say I love her ass and face and breasts and whole body.” says Joe

“So it was mostly lust.” Lacey says to Joe.

“Yes.” he admits?

“That’s intriguing if it’s true. And you used demons to control and attack me my whole life?” asks Lacey.


“So…he could have loved me…but when Pat died the Illuminati took over and that was the end of the Joe possibility.” says Lacey.

“Cunt!” Joe yells at Lacey.

“That’s not fair.” says Lacey calmly to Joe.

“Really?!” says Lem. “I think you’re a huge cunt.” He’s being sarcastic.

“See! He’s lying! He’s lying! He lying! He’s lying! Lying! He’s lying! He’s lying! He hates you! He hates you! He’s mine. He’s my boyfriend. I married him at 14 like Holly Golightly.” says a Bobby Jr.. “My uncle never existed. I’m my uncle. That’s how awesome our love was. I took it and made something out of it. I’m a creator. And I’ll tell you…Lem loves me more than he could have ever loved my dad uncle loser pants. My father loved-And I love. And you just…don’t know.” says a Bobby Jr..

“Did Lem touch you sexually, Bobby?” asks a perfume hater.

“No.” he says sadly.

“No sadly, or no?” asks Lacey.

“No!!!” he yells.

“So that’s no, nothing sexual ever happened between you two?” asks Lacey.

“No. Nothing ever happened.” he says to her.

“Then I don’t think you married him other than in your family’s delusion and in Lem’s mind I think he worried that you were that psychologically troubled but he rationalized it.” says Lacey to a Bobby Jr.. “Yeah, to clarify I don’t think he returned your passions.”

A Bobby Jr. nods, possibly or possibly not understanding.


Zoological Society

After discussing matters with literal Nazis…who helped her get rid of her migraine with milk, Advil and good company…and Woody Allen who is Woody Allen…Lacey now is slightly more sane again.

Of course it doesn’t hurt that Joe Sr. told her she comes across as a condescending jerk. Nor that indeed people don’t like to be told what’s wrong with them or the mistakes they’re making. It’s just apparently hurtful… It wouldn’t be to Lacey. But to him and many other people like him it’s difficult to handle.

The suggestions she made to the Nazis about their overall war tactics and the Holocaust…may have been warmly received.

It started out last night with Sydney Pollock and others trying to psychologically assist Lem Billings. Lacey was awake until 5AM chatting with him and the others. People were kind but…by 5AM when she, exhausted, had to go to sleep and it was again Michael Rockefeller who she cozied up with in bed…as the stubbornly aghast and perpetually morally appalled Lem still wanted to convict her of her sins…the team lost hope.

It’s not that her sins don’t count. It’s just…why is he so ugly about them? Or that’s the feeling of some Hollywood minds, so to speak.

Jack is a problem. Sure. *a Nazi rolls his eyes in agreement with Lacey* “But…he seems to miss the forest for the trees. He being Lem.” says the Nazi.

“What in the world is Lacey doing, Lem?!?” yells an aghast man.

Lem looks uncomfortable.

He smiles.

“She’s not necessarily the problem. I’m just devastated that she let herself be conquered sexually by Elliott Roosevelt.” he responds.

“Or was it Joe? Or Louis?” Lacey asks.

“Do you know who hurt-“ he crassly starts to ask who hurt him through her. As if she’s nothing but an instrument of his. A meaningless nothing.

“You have very little respect for me left?” he asks her.

“Yes.” she answers.


“Michael, why doesn’t it bother you that F. Scott Fitzgerald slept around after his heart was broken?” an intellectual woman asks him.

“Because he meant well.” says Michael.

“How can you mean well?!” asks Lem.

“Because some people really are actually confused, potentially. Not just faking it like your ol’ best-fuck-friend.” says Lacey to Lem.

“So that’s all this is?! …She’s just hurting me because of Jack?!” he asks the Nazi helping him understand.

“She’s right, Lem. Why isn’t that obvious to you?!” asks Elliott, exasperated.

“I mean it’s…toxic Lem…but…” a woman says to Lem.

He thinks. “Did she sleep with them to test me?!”

“Lem, why wouldn’t that just be blatantly obvious?” asks the Nazi.

He blinks. He thinks.

“Did Genevra test men?” a man asks Lacey.

“If I was to interpret her, I’d say yes. But that’s me living her life. Not her.” says Lacey.

“I bet Scott hoped she was like you.” says a perfume hater.

“Whether she was or not.” says another perfume hater, sadly.

“Wasn’t I supposed to test you?” Lacey asks Lem.

He blinks.

Michael looks unimpressed. Chill.

“Why don’t you just pull the plug?” Lacey asks him in despair. Migraine almost returning.

He looks at her, she hears his his voice, “Should I?” he asks her.

“Isn’t that up to you?” she asks.

He smiles. He closes his eyes. He thinks.

“I can’t in good conscience.” he says to her.

“But…all it’s amounting to so far is torture for me.” says Lacey.

“They’re bullying you using Lem.” he explains.

“Why are you letting them?” she asks.

“Because you don’t understand!” he yells, knowing how much she’ll understand if he says just that.

“You’re beggers!” yells a perfume hater at the Illuminati. “You’re nothing but a bunch of desperate, sad fucks!”

An elite black man in the Illuminati understands and braces himself.

“They lie.” says Lem to Lacey.

“I’m exhausted.” says Lacey to Lem.

“What do you want from us?” Michael asks Lem.

Jack somehow believes he’s the one who insisted Michael ask that. He takes full credit for Michael’s interest in Lacey.

Michael laughs.

“Lem, I might have been bisexual but I wasn’t ever in love with Jack. Or being with men.” says Michael, smiling.

Bizet’s “Carmen Suite For Orchestra No. 2” plays.

“If you’d been loved and fit in you’d make little sense and be as dumb as we are.” explains a perfume hater to Lacey, heartlessly.

Mozart’s “Symphony No. 40” starts.

“Sorry! Bizet is lovely, but I can’t stand the way they’re treating you.” says the Nazi to Lacey.

“Do you prefer Mozart?” a perfume hater asks Lacey.

“Mozart is her heroin!!!” yells the Nazi. “Her brain works in such a way…that when she hears Mozart she feels very little pain.” He laughs. “What?! Your brain doesn’t work that way?!”

It’s the Berlin Philharmonic playing. It works. Lacey feels bad but analyzes it as she listens.

“So you’re like a baby?!” asks a hater of Lacey.

“No. She’s an adult. You just don’t hear it or feel what she does.” explains the Nazi.

“Is it like a language?” asks the Loudest Perfume Hater of the Nazi.

“Yes!” he says cheerfully. “Possibly, right.”

“Do you want to get high?” the Loudest Perfume Hater asks Lacey.

“No. But when I had surgery on my eye it helped. And apparently my migraine was serious enough I must have needed medical attention.” says Lacey.

“You know…your weakness terrified her.” a Tik Tok star explains to Lem.

“It really is more that I was hurt.” says Lacey.

Laughing hysterically the perfume community has to ask, “Lem…why did you think Jack would be a good magic decoder ring for F. Scott Fitzgerald when he’s already pissed off as Hell??” They think. “Metaphorically speaking, and sorry for swearing.”

He smiles. Then he looks up and closes his eyes in terror.

“She hates having that much control in her relationship with her significant other.” explains Genevra King.

He cries.

“So is it the gender opposite of Scott?” Lacey asks Genevra.

“Yes! He likes control. You understand!” she says. She thinks. “It’s very subtle.”

“Okay…so let me get this straight. You literally just had to tell her off once?!” asks a writer of Lem, sick to his stomach that Lacey is being taken advantage of by Lem.

“In an appropriate way.” says Lem in a chokehold due to Michael.

Jack tries to take credit for that as well.

“Why did Michael have to put you in a chokehold to get you to admit that?” the writer asks Lem.

“He doesn’t like me!” yells Lem.

“Are you sure Lem?” asks the writer.

“No!!!” yells Lem.

Heated, the two shove each other.

Looking flushed, Lem leans over and rests the palms of his hands on his knees. He breathes to catch his breath.

Jack, standing behind, considers raping Lem. He’s bent over, after all. But Jack, seemingly drunk, is escorted away by Nazis. I doubt the American public ever saw Jack drunk. He looks very gay while drunk.

Genevra nods her head in agreement. Objectively.

“Do I seem gay while drunk?” Michael asks Lacey. She watches him.

“No.” says Lacey.

“What’s Jack look like?” asks a Boomer.

“He kind of wiggles. He…seems shaky. He looks like he’s had one too many Pina Coladas on Spring Break in 2006. And it’s like…closing time…and he’s…just ‘curious’ and being super friendly, so to speak.” says Lacey.

“Like an old dude?” asks the Loudest Perfume Hater.

“No. He’s young.” says Lacey. “Youngish.”

“Like how young?” asks a hater.

“Not that young. Like, early 30’s or mid 20’s.” says Lacey.

“He’s on weed not alcohol!” says the Loudest Perfume Hater.

“But he’s wiggling like he’d almost fall over if you pushed him just the tiniest bit.” says Lacey.

“So he looks drunk.” says the Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Mostly?” says Lacey.

“He could be on coke too. It’s Purgatory…” says a Millennial. She laughs and covers her mouth.

“That’s sad that he still thinks Lem wants him.” says an elite Liberal intellectual.

“You don’t really think that? Do you?” asks Lacey.

“Yes. I do.” he says.

Lacey looks disgusted. Not with him.

“Did Lem imitate Mae West to mock Jack?” asks a Millennial.

“That horrific possibility is possibly why I tested Lem.” says Lacey.

“I’m sorry!” Lem says to her.

Lacey rolls her eyes. “I can barely hear you.”

“What do you want from us?” Michael as Lem.

Lem analyzes the situation.

“You’re like a mob boss and instead of romantically pursuing you I just…threw my vomit in your face.” he says.

“Should I apologize to you for considering the possibility you might love me as possible?” she asks.

“Fuck!” he says. He starts rocking himself in anguish. He’s being serious.

“You know it’s funny. You’re all just in her head. Whether you exist or not.” says Michael to the Illuminati. “Why can’t you hear her actual spirit?” He looks almost guilty. “Who is she?” he asks Mr. Blue.

He laughs. “Okay. I get it.” he says, playing along.

Lem cracks-up laughing, sincerely.

“Hey Michael-“ starts Sarah Silverman.

“Shut-up!” yells Michael, violently. Dryly but violently.

“Michael, why…is Lem so upset?” Woody Allen asks him.

Michael takes a deep breath. “If you’re the emissary from the Land of Jews.” he laughs. Then he smiles. “The thing is…he’s not being heard.”

“What the heck is the problem with the Bloody Democrats?!” the Loudest Perfume Hater.

“I think they think they’re all intellectually at the level of the Clintons.” says a Pillsbury.

“True!” Louis vehemently agrees.

“What do you think?” Lem asks Lacey.

“I think they’re divided. Between those who see Lem as either bisexual or straight. And those who need him to be gay. Forever. And ever.” says Lacey.

Woody Allen cracks-up laughing.

“Which Woody Allen? Which Sarah Silverman?” asks a Diane.

“There are so many.” says Lacey.

“Did Jack…trick Lacey into thinking you loved him and lied about it? Do you hear the voice whispering violently in Lacey’s ear constantly that you’re lying? That her happiness with you is a lie? That she’s going to Hell? That nothing good will ever happen to her again?” asks Michael.

“Is that you? Or is that Jack? Or the Devil? Or Kick? Or Bobby? Or Jackie? Or who?” asks Lacey.

“Is it some family that needs Lem to be gay? To somehow cover-up for murdering him?” asks Michael.

“Why would they kill him?” asks the Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Because he gave heroin to kids. Because he may have been behind the murder of at least Jack, unwittingly. Because he wouldn’t fuck Bobby and make him so-called, ‘feel better.’”Lacey.

“Those are all brilliant reasons.” says Hemingway. “And, of course, we know the truth.”

“Or was it Eunice he wouldn’t put out for?” asks a perfume hater.

“Possibly.” says Lacey.

“I think he was used. And when they got done using him they just threw him away. And Bobby did it because he was so tired of being rejected sexually his whole life by his idol.” says Harold Loeb.

“So all those rumors about him being a pervert were planted for a sicko’s ego?” asks Lacey.

Joe Jr. weeps. Regrets. “I almost escaped.”

“Ethel’s?” asks Scott.

“Evil ends Hell.” says Vinny. “If Bill goes to Hell…where do you go?”

“I’ll become a bird or a child or be so stubborn God can’t hurt me!” says an evil woman.

“Are you sure that will work?” asks Lacey.

“Did Ted molest Bobby? Or did Ethel? Or did Ted?” asks a hater.

“I don’t think that will work!” Lacey says to the evil woman.

“Or did Jack molest Bobby?” asks Lem.

“Do you actually think that’s possible?” asks a man named Pete of Lem.

“Yes!! Why would I say it otherwise?!” asks Lem. He’s found safety with the Belters. It was Michael’s idea.

“I hate to say it but it’s more political than you’d like to think.” says a Belter.

“Really?” asks Lacey.

“We’re safe.” say the Belters

“It was my idea too!” says Lem to Lacey.

Paul Tirtin laughs. Lacey can hear him. It was his idea too.

“My father wasn’t an idiot.” says Genevra menacingly to haters.

“Why are they letting that one family have so much power?!” asks a man in the perfume community who’s dead.

“Because they’re losing to Michael.” says Lacey.

“How so?” asks Genevra of Lacey.

Lacey goes to get chocolate chocolate covered strawberries. Lacey has three and then stops. Because it’s dark chocolate.

“I need to buy dark chocolate and make my own.” Lacey says to Genevra.

“You should have one more.” Genevra says darkly.

“I do love them, but I’m going to get ice cream instead.” says Lacey.

Safely, “See…we need oil. And even if we don’t…they’re so powerful and well-connected. It’s dangerous to disarm them too forcefully.” says Lacey.

“I would agree!” says J. P. Kennedy.

“The thing is…you make stupid mistakes. It’s not that Michael can’t let go. It’s not that he’s too dependent. It’s that he can’t in good conscience leave the discussion. And it’s very arrogant to assume that they can just waltz in and take charge with buckshot nonsense.” says Lacey.

“I don’t like you!” says a Boomer actress to Lacey.

Genevra laughs. Scoffs really. Lacey follows Genevra’s lead.

Lacey laughs to Scott.

“I wish we could just go out tonight. Literally. And get drunk and cry.” Scott says Lacey.

“That does sound like fun.” Lacey says, almost ready to cry. Although getting drunk is wrong of course.

“It would be nice to just talk though.” he says.

She, of course, agrees.

Lacey suddenly wonders if they put lead in chocolate to make it sweet and save money on sugar.

A man rolls is eyes wondering if Lacey is right.

“So we’re at war with Michael?” asks Mr. Blue.

“Symbolically, possibly. Or maybe literally. The thing is, you’ve become obsessed with me. And obsessed with Lem.” says Lacey to the they in the Illuminati. “At first it seemed safe to be with Lem, but…you can’t let me be happy. You keep demonically attacking every relationship I get into. …And the problem is you’re being idiots. Because there’s no way you can truly end soulmates. And if Lem wasn’t gay…he just wasn’t. And if you’re taking demon’s advice and it contradicts saints…that isn’t my problem. …The thing is…you’re obsessed with Lem and me. And it’s bizarre. It’s almost as if you’re being tricked. Like, Jack is being used. And it’s working. Not because Lem cheats but because he doesn’t and you can’t fathom it. And you keep trying…and trying. And your perverse obsession with ‘Kem’ is actually your problem. …It’s a way to keep you weak. It’s your Achilles heel.” says Lacey.

“I can’t believe this is about oil. Your family isn’t that powerful. They barely have any oil. They’re not powerful. …It’s about a personal issue of you being obsessed with Lem. And on behalf of Lem as someone who actually knew him while he was alive not just as a figment of your imagination or some sex toy…I reassure you you’re a pathetic-loser-nobody. You’re a social-climbing-idiot-pervert. A reckless, irresponsible, ignorant, selfish person.” says a Bobby Jr. to Lacey. He’s being serious.

Bobby then claims ownership of all classical music as a member of the true upper-class.

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about.” says Lacey. “Your whole spiel is the problem.”

“Is any of what he’s saying true?” asks Harvey.

Lacey thinks. “Not really.”

They fly into a fit.

“The thing is…it’s not whether or not it’s true it seems but more or less the fact that he’s distracted by it.” Lacey says.

“Is it demonic?” asks Harvey.

“It could be. It’s unclear what that means if it’s true.” says Lacey.

“It’s revenge. But not. It’s also justice.” says Harvey.

“Yes. And you all keep getting stuck in your own traps.” says Lacey.

“From the man who brought you ‘Monsanto Is A Conspiracy’ and ‘Bill Is Bad’ comes ‘Lem is Faggot, Dammit!’” says an English hater.

“I don’t like that last title from this nationally renowned author.” says Michael.

“How about, ‘Lem Worshipped Jack’s Super-Penis?’” asks Lacey.

“Mm…I like, ‘Lem Was A Gay Man.’” says an Environmentalist. “It’s short, simple and to the point.”

“But that way nobody will understand.” says Lacey. “It’s not accurate of course, but it sounds too real.”

The environmentalist looks at her with a wink.

“Yeah, I just don’t think he was gay. I’m not sure how to manage your reaction to be helpful.” says Lacey to the they.

“The thing is, why are you on their hit list? And why are they using me?!” asks Lacey of the they.

“Because you’re clueless. And they’re liars.” says Genevra to Lacey.

“Lem, I’m sorry if I’ve been a terrible person to you.” says Lacey to Lem.

He listens.

“What is it?” asks a capitalist of Lacey.

“Are you really that morally in the right?” she asks.

“No, I know what you meant.” says a Belter.

“What is it that bothers you?” Michael asks her.

“The Curse” plays.

“The Kennedy’s are the backup singers.” says Lacey. “They aren’t even the piano.”

“Which instrument?” asks Michael.

“You mean backup singers.” says Lem to Lacey.

“Yes. But of course it’s what? The bow on the violin?” says Lacey.

“And what is our love?” asks Louis.

“Our love is so perfect it scares me.” says Lacey.

“Our love is perfect too.” says Michael to Lacey.

“It feels like what?” asks Audrey Hepburn.

“Supernatural. As if you were to manifest in some terrifying way.” says Lacey.


“The thing is…Lem is less perfect in that way, but I think he’s just as good if not better. Almost like he’s God’s plan for redemption. …But…the others are my fallen soulmates. And God can redeem them but they are attached to the fallen world.” says Lacey.


“And these plans for redemption keep falling apart. And there’s something vile about it. Almost like Michael and I are being forced together. And it’s perverse.” says Lacey.

“We’re the royalty.” says Elliott.

“So am I.” says Lem, taking off his mask.

“It’s not perverse for us to make love.” says Michael to her.

“Yes!” says Lacey. “But you’re supposed to be a slave, he’s supposed to be a dumb jock, and you’re supposed to snub me.” Lacey says.

“And Joe was supposed to love you?” asks a Belter.

“Bitter Sweet Symphony” plays and its a mess as it should be.

“Yes! And that’s supposed to be miracle. But it’s not. And that’s the horrible truth I’m grappling with in the grips of the best and worst of the Illuminati.” says Lacey.

“Is there a way to seduce you away from Michael?” asks an actor of Lacey.

“No.” says Lacey. “That’s possibly impossible.”

“And yet…Lem might who God wants?” asks an Ethel.

“Yes.” says Lacey, grimacing because it’s a mess.


“I don’t understand the mind of God…but it’s a mess. Because I loved Joe. But it feels like he cheated once Pat died. Or he was going to. And Harold called him on it? And then Scott got involved…and my family did too…and…maybe always were. But…my father is complicated. And…Lem is…who someone always wanted for me? But…Joe was who had won…and then…Harold cared. And Joe cheated and Lem won. Elliott lost. And then Louis lost. And Scott lost. And Harold lost. And…the buck stops with Michael.” says Lacey.

“I’m better in bed than Michael!” yells Bobby.

“Oh dear. What’s your next hot topic? Big Bird’s psychology?” asks Lacey a Bobby.

“I’m sorry.” says Lem to Lacey.

“Are being serious?” someone asks Lacey.

“Yes. I don’t think I’m being heard. Or believed. Or taken seriously. And it’s not safe.” says Lacey.

She stares David down. She threatens to smash Bobby’s Sr.’s skull in if he doesn’t get a clue.

“The thing is…Big Bird is fascinating. What’s wrong with him though? Why is so…creepy?” asks Lacey.

“You know I agree!” says Louis.

“Do you think Big Bird has big problems or big potential or big pockets?” asks Lacey.

“Big problems.” says Louis.

“‘The Yellow Man.’” says Lacey.

“But he’s a bird.” says Lem.

“Is he?!” asks Lacey.

“What’s the problem with him?” asks a member of the actual Illuminati sex ring.

“Well, first of all, you’re insane and evil. Secondly…” she pauses. Thinks.

“You probably think we’re a stupid business?” he asks her.

“Are you retarded? You shouldn’t have been born if you haven’t created your own kids.” says Lacey. “Keep up, I’m tired.” She thinks. “Not that you should necessarily raise your kids.” She yawns. “The thing is, Big Bird has worse problems than you.”

“I might be a psychopath.” they say.

“So what?!” says Lacey. “This is The Yellow Man we’re talking about.”

“Is he a billionaire?” asks the evil man.

“He’s worse. He’s wealthier than any man to ever exist.” says Lacey.

She threatens to stab the man in his face and neck if he comes near or her family. He declines her offer impolitely to be killed that way or by her in general.

“That’s cool. That’s healthy that you don’t want me to kill you in self-defense or as a capital punishment. If you decide to kill yourself pray first at least.” says Lacey.

“If you killed me in self-defense people would side with me anyway. They’d do it because I’ve brainwashed people so much they think I’m right for being killed by someone like you regardless of how right you are. You have no rights and no damn existence or excuse in their minds.” he says.

“That’s kind of you to admit that.” says Lacey. She smiles. “The thing is…you’re being mean to yourself. Come on! I know you wanna hear more about The Yellow Man.”

“Fine! Who is he?” he asks.

“Maybe I just made him up?” she wonders.

“You feel sorry for me.” he says.

“Of course I do!!” she yells.

“You’re not supposed to.”

“You shouldn’t have been born. Your existence amazes me. How you don’t just kill your send out of fear of being sent to Hell is baffling to me.” says Lacey.

“You think I’m a fool for siding with that fool.”

“I’m not on flipping Dragnet. But yeah. It’s weird.” says Lacey.

“No, we’re insane.” they admit?

“For being pedophiles. The rest of it? I think you’ve been had.” says Lacey.

“And that’s concerning to you?”

“Big Bird.”

“Are they trying to let us all die?”

“Oh yeah, probably. Listen…my cousin shot himself in the face. I see ghosts. I was molested and I have a real soul. …Death isn’t the worst thing.” says Lacey. “They want you to feel sorry for them? Not for the kids. For then.” She thinks. “See…the thing is…being as insane as you are…can you empathize with their stupidity? They don’t have brains almost or they’re worse than you.”

“Are you David or Goliath?” he asks.

“I worry I’m Goliath. Not just because I was sexually abused. And they lie and say I’m only feeling special because I was groomed as a kid…but I know that’s not likely true. It’s a cover. A tradition. Because it absolves them of what they’re doing to themselves. They aren’t victims. But they’ll never be loved in return. And they give all their power spiritually to the children. Possibly forever. Or at least their entire lives. And the love will never be returned. At all. Because it’s entirely unwanted. It’s entirely unwanted. Unreceived. They’re sending themselves to Hell for eternity and they’re too lost to see it. And too brain dead. Not from good sex but from the most profound deception possible. They’re doing the most vile thing you can do to another human and then there’s literally nothing real or good in it for them at all. We can only hope they have some inkling of their bare existence before eternal Hell or what? Ceasing to exist? Being lobotomized. Having to see how they look from my eyes? Because that’s all it is and the rest is probably even worse. It’s just…derangement. Don’t deceive yourselves to look elite. It’s not. It’s…supremely embarrassing at its impossible best. …But I worry I’m Goliath because…”

“Nah. I hear you.”

“So that makes me nervous.”


“Do you worry?” she asks.


“Do you worry?” asks Lacey.

“You really did start the pand-“

“DFM?” Lacey shrugs to be kind. “DFM?”

“I’m full of it.” says a Hollywood jerk.

“Nah, nah, what was that poem you memorized?” asks a man.

“Sarah Teasdale. There Will Come Soft Rains.” says Lacey.

“Could you control all of us?”



“The thing is…it shouldn’t be happening.” says Lacey.

“So…just to be clear…this wouldn’t be a huge problem if they’d left you alone in regard to Joe Jr.?” asks Bobby.

“Possibly.” says Lacey.

“Did Michael plan it or did he both want and not want it?”

“Both. And I worry Lem is telling you to go to Hell. Literally.” says Lacey.

“So…the Earth is falling apart, Lem is cursing us to eternity in pain, suffering and misery, and we’re focused on Big Bird?” asks a man.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“Are we choosing that?” he asks.

“Is Jack choosing a popped collar and Miami in 2006?” asks Lacey.


“Why?” asks Lacey.