Extinct

I hope there are extinct animals in Heaven. Purgatory? …When I die I’d like to see a living Elephant Bird in person. A tame, happy, Heavenly one.

…Tonight I’m feeling quiet.

And I’m feeling certain of one thing in particular: God’s brilliance. Almost everything else is foggy.

I doubt that it makes sense…but then He’ll reveal more down the road and it all starts to fall into focus. And I see the potential answers. It’s the horrific moments when none of it feels safe or reasonable that are torture. …But the longer I live the more I see how delightfully rational God is.

*smile*

I’ve worried in the past that my love for logic irritates God…but I highly doubt that now. It’s a sad, mournful aspect of humanity given the Fall of Man…but it’s not unGodly necessarily. It’s…just sad. Because given the nature of our fallen state there’s always gloom even in the joy of genuine order…

Yet with God even sadness can be beautiful. It can be breathtaking actually. The absence of true light is still infinitely subject to the entirely irretrievable truth.

—-

Sadness

At the zoo there was a man who almost started randomly talking to my son and me as we were looking at an otter. …And I had the sense he might have been interested in me. I didn’t wear a ring today to appear normal walking around with my ex-husband and our two kids. …He looked vaguely like my ex-husband and Harold Loeb. Glasses. Hipster. …I felt bad for him. He was awkward. I was awkward too though in response. *eye-roll* Poor man. It’s sad…

I’ll pray for him. For all I know he’s a sweet single man in his 30’s looking for love. Trying to be open. Online dating sites aren’t his thing or aren’t working for him? He “hates the bar scene.” So some counselor or family member told him, “Go to the zoo! You’d be surprised at the number of single people who go to the zoo and find someone!” …I admire his fortitude, if that’s the case. I hope he finds happiness. I hope he finds a woman who inspires enough passion within him to enable him to form a sentence instead of mumbling. *laugh and empathetic pout*

…I had such a vibe today. *laugh* I cracked myself up each time I looked at my reflection. Straw cloche hat, long necklace, men’s Brooks Brother’s tennis sweater…shorts. Launer bag. Thick layers of Jean Patou “1,000.” It bordered on costume-like considering how almost everyone else was dressed. *sigh* But it’s my actual sense of style… *sigh*

“That’s a horrible idea! He looks creepy!” says my ex-husband about the man who mumbled. “Single girls don’t just go to the zoo.”

“Why?” I ask.

“Single girls don’t just go to the zoo!” he says. “I don’t know!”

“Where do they go?!”

“Single guys don’t go to the zoo either. Can you imagine two 25 year guys planning to hang out at the zoo? One saying to the other, ‘Hey! Let’s go to the zoo!’”

“Where do they go?”

“The bar, sporting events. Restaurants.”

“What about the art museum?”

“Yeah!”

So apparently that man was misguided. And he looks creepy?

…*laugh*

“No one found your perfume offensive.” Louis reassures Lacey.