Lem And Lacey Date

Moloch: Because you insist: Lem and Lacey’s perfect married date night.

July 20th, 1960. After 6 PM.

Lacey wears a sleeveless silk blouse, a snug fitting pencil skirt, and a pair of stilettos. Sentimental jewelry. Helena Rubinstein Heaven Scent as her perfume. Glossy, light pink lips. Thickly coated lashes. Cat-eye eyeliner. No hat, no gloves. No handbag.

Lem wears his usual suit and tie. No cologne. Gold watch. His good shoes. Freshly shaven face and trimmed hair. No hat. Wallet.

It’s New York City. Manhattan.

Very busy. Still fairly safe.

They ride to Midtown and then walk. A chic Italian restaurant.

Lem gives her three drinks. Alcoholic. And then she giggles as he carries her around, by the end of the night. He laughs some too.

They walk a little bit, just for kicks. With him carrying her. And then they stop annoying people, minding their own business, and hail a cab.

They get in the cab and makeout.

Etc..

Any questions?

A woman in the perfume community: Where’s the fun in that!?

Moloch: Are you coming on to them?

The woman: Yes?

Moloch: That’s sad.

You can tell this is totally authentic. Why are you attacking it?

The woman: It makes me MAD.

Moloch: Are you sure? Or is that the safest thing to feel?

The woman: *thinking, retreating, and reacting*

I HATE YOU!!! *she yells at Lacey*

*then she cries*

Moloch: You’re sad, not mad.

You need help.

You’re not okay.

The woman: *cries*

WHY DON’T THOSE MEN LIKE ME!?

Moloch: What men?

Explain.

The woman: YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF MEN I MEAN!!

Moloch: I need you to try to explain.

The woman: I’m gay.

*she laughs*

Eligible bachelors.

Moloch: How many of them have you to choose from!?

The woman: *thinks*

I can’t go to some country club! That’s SO WEIRD.

Moloch: If you’re going to be so upset…and take this so seriously…you might have to do something drastic. Like going to an actual country club, to find a boyfriend.

The woman: I can’t do that!

Moloch: Why?

The woman: I wouldn’t fit in!

Moloch: Then you should alter your physical appearance to fit in! Learn better manners. Learn to speak better.

The woman: *becomes irate, possibly manifesting demons*

Moloch: I’ve never heard of a person who has no problem getting married, but has a problem getting married, in that way. You’re lying.

You don’t want eligible men. You want status.

The woman: No, I could stomach eligible women.

Moloch: Then you’re still a liar, and a snake.

Fess-up!

The woman: Fine. It’s a lesbian thing.

Moloch: *laughs*

The woman: *laughs at the Billings*

Moloch: Do you think you’re cool?

The woman: Crap.

No.

Moloch: So you don’t hate heterosexuals. You hate anyone who’s rich.

The woman: *looks sad*

I wish I was gay. I’d be rich.

Moloch: You are attracted to women.

What is the truth? You don’t understand how to be rich. You weren’t raised well. You were raised to be poor. Smart, classy, interesting, but poor.

The woman: You’re right.

Moloch: A lot of people are.

What’s wrong with it, is the poverty. And your shame.

The woman: Yeah, mmhmm.

Yeah, this is normal.

Moloch: What if you had a handsome husband who cheated on you, but didn’t want to lose you?

The woman: *laughs*

Moloch: What if he made $100,000.00 a year? And you owned a nice truck?

The woman: I think you’re right.

Moloch: Could you be happy on $100,000.00 a year?

The woman: *laughs*

YES!

No, we’d live well.

Moloch: Where is he?

The woman: *shrugs*

Moloch: You’re fine? You just need a clue. Huh?

Another reader: Just a couple questions. Why aren’t you Jesus!?

Moloch: I am his servant, for the moment.

Haven’t you heard of spiritual warfare?

Lacey is very attacked. Spiritually.

She can’t hear God. His voice is being silenced. Read about it. It can happen. It’s in the Bible. He can still hear you, but you can’t hear Him. Happens!

I can still get through because I’m actually Moloch.

I’m fine with it!

A Christian reader: That must be some pretty intense warfare!?

*they laugh mockingly*

A Catholic reader: *cracks-up laughing*

DEAR GOD!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?

What IN HELL is wrong with you!?

This is clearly a woman being sadistically attacked by the demonic, from Freemasons or the actual Illuminati.

Why wouldn’t this be intense beyond most things Christians experience?

Another Christian reader: I’m not going to disagree. He’s obviously a Christian.

Can’t you try to understand!?!

The Christian reading this blog: I want to be able to say I have no sin!

Another Christian reader: AHHH…then good luck! You’re a rude, arrogant, horrible person!

She’s not sinning.

You are.

The Christian reading this blog: I do Tarot.

Actually.

The Christian reading this blog: We don’t.

Are you a diagnosed narcissist?

The Christian reading this blog: Yeah, okay. I am.

Gee, I wonder if you have a hard time hearing from God!?

Can you believe this woman! SO DUMB!

The Christian reading this blog: That wasn’t her choice. You can’t rightfully attack her with that. You can’t.

*silence*

Then you’re just a narcissist?

The woman: I’m sure that’s just a narcissist.

The Christian reading this blog: Yeah.

Are they a perfume head?

Moloch: Yes, you guessed correctly.

Any more questions about Lacey and Lem?

*a moment later*

Another woman in the perfume community: OKAY! I AM GOING TO READ YOU!!!

Are you eating cheesecake?

Lacey: No. I wish I was.

That sounds delicious!

Another woman in the perfume community: OKAY! But I’m getting something SWEET!?

Lacey: That’s my perfume.

The woman: Aww! This is so sad. *she laughs at Lacey*

*crickets chirp*

Another woman in the perfume community: YOU HAVE A SICK AMOUNT OF POWER!

Or autism! *she laughs at Lacey*

The woman: You guys. We sound DUMB.

What perfume are you wearing?

Another woman in the perfume community: Wait, she doesn’t wear perfume.

Lacey: Victoria’s Sec-

The woman: Aww!!

Lacey: Victoria’s Secret, Charming Rose lotion and body spray.

Another woman in the perfume community: You’re being an alternative lesbian? DUH!

Lem: Are you medically retarded?

The woman: *tries not to laugh*

Lem: That fragrance is like heart candy and heart jewelry. It’s NOT homosexual, in that way, at all.

Glen: Actually, I was just thinking that.

*nods*

Another woman in the perfume community: *very egotistically wounded*

A man: Very interesting. I’m not surprised she’s writing that!

Yet another man: Are you reading this!? That woman sounds SO narcissistic and disgusting.

Not Lacey.

Another woman in the perfume community: That’s interesting. Because I’m NOT a narcissist. *she laughs and shuffles her Tarot cards*

Moloch: No. You are not a clinical narcissist.

You do have narcissistic traits.

*Lacey gets sadistically attacked by demons of pedophilia, trying to find a way to suffocate her to death and attack her children.*

*With a sudden migraine headache, she manages to spiritually secure her home. And protect her children.*

Another woman in the perfume community: Did I do that!?

Moloch: Yeah.

Are you a fan of 1990’s sitcoms?

Another woman in the perfume community: No.

Why?

Moloch: Did you find Laura attractive? The woman who helps Lacey?

Another woman in the perfume community: Yes…

Moloch: FUNNY!

Unfortunately, Lacey is struggling to breathe. We’ll be back.

*later*

A reader: Photos or I don’t BELIEVE YOU!

A man: Nah! Lem was het..

Glenn (??): How do you figure it!?

A man: *a long wait*

Her perfume. It’s too girly.

I’m sorry, I’m old. I use the word girly.

Glen (?): Yeah.

You’re right.

There are different kinds of sluts.

There are the sluts who get confused and say that they don’t want you, who might sleep with Lem and not realize he’s gay. Bless their hearts.

And there are the kind of sluts who know when a man is pleased.

She’s obviously the second.

A gay man: No way!

Glen: You ever been with that kind of woman?

A gay man: *looks guilty*

Yes.

Glen: And what happened?

A gay man: She got hurt…

Glen: YEAH!

Is she married now!?

A gay man: Yeah. To an ugly man who works for a car company?

Glen: He fucks her good.

You taught her.

You taught her a bad lesson to have to learn!

*he laughs*

A gay man: He fucks her good!?

Glen: Yeah!

You’re not that jealous. Grow-up!

A gay man: He’s so ugly!

Glen: *he laughs*

But not at night. With his clothes off.

And he provides.

A gay man: Is that Lem!?

Glen: Sure as hell.

Have you ever read a decent biography!?

*he seems angry*

A gay man: I hear you.

Another man: He’s a horny toad…who just wanted to get laid.

Glen: *laughs and nods*

My dad…used to worry he was gay.

He told me that once.

He was born in 1917.

Another man: And he wasn’t?

Glen: NO!

He was just confused. He said he had been bullied by the other boys and so he worried. But he kept it to himself.

Nah! He wasn’t. Not a chance!

Another man: It doesn’t confuse me either. Her account of his life.

Glen: *clears his nose*

He was trying to be something. Just like everyone else.

*he laughs*

Another man: Nah. He wasn’t gay.

I agree.

*crickets chirping*

*the sound of a fan*

A lesbian: Why do I get the sense….gay men can’t handle the truth?

Glen: About Lem?

Because then they’re real faggots.

He chose to be gay. They always say that’s impossible.

A lesbian: *laughs*

I didn’t choose.

Glen: Yeah. I know.

*he laughs*

Doesn’t mean they’re not faggots.

A lesbian: *laughs*

I HEAR YOU.

Glen: *laughs*

Men are so stupid.

*laughs*

A lesbian: You try.

But I mean, lesbians are homophobic too.

Right?

Glen: I bet they are.

Another gay man, in California: You seem very sexually experienced, Glen.

Glen: You have me!

*he laughs*

Another gay man, in California: *looks confused*

Glen: *laughs*

You’re bisexual!

Yes?

Another gay man, in California: Yes? Slightly.

Glen: Me too.

Chris: WHOOPS.

*crickets chirp*

Lacey: I’m not a slut.

Moloch: I know.

I think they see it that way.

Lacey: Glen seems too sophisticated to be so backward.

Moloch: He’s not. He is sophisticated though.

You’re unusually pure. It’s your Christianity.

Lacey: Ironic that people are missing that or denying it. Possibly sadistically.

Moloch: Yeah.

Are you being suffocated again?

Lacey: Yes.

Is that Fern passing?

Moloch: Yes.

Not her, passing over you, like Passover. Of course.

It’s her being taken away from the Earth.

They have been using her energy. To attack.

Now that she’s going…it’s going to snap. Like a rubber band. And hit them in their faces.

Lacey: I literally feel like I’m being suffocated.

Moloch: It won’t kill you.

Lacey: What’s going to happen?

With Fern?

Moloch: I’m not sure.

But she’s dying tonight.

*Lacey feels a hot grip on her right hand*

A demon: She’s starting to pass. I’m not ready to let go.

God: LET GO!!!

LET GO!!!

A demon: Dammit!

God: LET GO!!

A demon: NO!!

God: She’s gaining traction!

Fern: Tries to sit-up.

A demon: Don’t sit-up!!

Fern: I’m gonna die. Chill-OUT!

*a moment later*

Hey, this isn’t so bad.

Mark Nesheim: She’s about an hour away from death.

By my calculations.

Fern: *nods at him*

Tonette: I’m not racist anymore!

Fern: *looks shocked*

Why is Lacey here!?

SHE’S HERE!? NOW!?

God: *nods*

Fern: Okay. Well I’m about to completely cross over. So I won’t be able to talk-

Is this your room?

*Mark Nesheim nods*

Nice! It looks nice!

Lacey: *almost cries*

Fern: She’s sentimental.

Tom: Yeah.

I’m her dad!

*he shakes Fern’s hand*

F. Scott Fitzgerald: *says hello to Fern*

*and suddenly she cries*

Fern: I WAS LOVED!

The Bowes-Lyons: *rein Lacey in*

Lacey: *takes a deep breath*

*Lacey decides to go get a snack*

Tom: *nods at the Bowes-Lyons*

God: Fern loved Lacey in her own way, but-

I don’t think Fern was as close to Lacey as she was there, for Jim and Becca.

Fern: She knows that?

God: Yeah.

Fern: I miss them already.

Jesus: Fern is dying…

Moloch: *rolls his eyes*

You were a jerk to her, Fern.

Welcome to Hell.

No! I’m joking.

But you can’t escape that now.

Grace Ann Kangas: This is interesting! She really is choosing to write this!

Lacey: Yes.

Lem: Let’s go get a snack.

Fern: *is shocked to meet Lem*

I think I’m dead.

Moloch: Almost.

*Lacey gets a snack*