Eric does more reading.
Casi (?): Two things.
First of all, you told me you don’t “trust me”.
Like, you don’t trust me anymore?
Say what?
Lacey: Oh! I never trusted you.
I did say that. In 2017? You messaged me. It was the second or third time we ever talked? Yes?
And…I did say that. But I never trusted you.
I’m sorry I wasn’t clear.
Dolly: So…why was she contacting you?
Lacey: I don’t know.
I think she thought I was mad at her or something?
Casi (?): No! I thought you were in love with me. And getting jealous because I had a boyfriend
Lacey: Oh!
We never talked. Why did you think I was in love with you?
Casi (?): *Thinks.*
A female reader: Did you imagine a relationship with her?
Casi (?): Maybe.
Lacey: Maybe she did.
Yeah, I wasn’t in love with you.
I don’t even find women attractive.
Casi (?): But we talked!
Lacey: When!?!
Casi (?): Okay. Twice.
Lacey: Yeah! Like four times TOTAL. Briefly. Over…two YEARS.
Casi (?): Okay. That’s a huge stretch. I admit it.
But it’s possible.
Lacey: *Thinks.*
Lem: No. It’s completely possible, but not really given what actually happened.
What specifically did you think had happened?
Casi (?): She was always so excited to talk to me.
Lacey: You’re putting words and emotions in my mouth. That’s sick and SO not allowed. To HELL WITH THAT!
Casi (?): Okay.
I felt something.
Lacey: And I empathize with that experience.
That’s…sweet and sad. Because I don’t feel that way at all. About you.
You were fun to talk to. But I wasn’t feeling anything romantic or sexual, for you, at all.
Casi (?): I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who was so excited to talk with me.
Lacey: *Thinks and looks very confused.*
Tutankhamen: Do I seem that excited?
Casi (?): To be honest? Yes.
Tutankhamen: I’m not in love with you or attracted to you either.
Lou: What is she reading?!?
*Later*
God: She’s reading that Lacey is broken.
First of all.
Second of all, she’s under the impression that Lacey has a certain nervousness around her.
Third of all, she’s sensing that Lacey cares.
Now, what’s really happening?
Both Lacey and Tutankhamen are unusual people. Both have a gifting that’s quite similar. You don’t know that part of Lacey. I do.
But unlike Jack Kennedy…both Tutankhamen and Lacey DO NOT sexually engage. With strangers. At all.
Casi, or whoever you are, stop coming on to her. Just stop. And see what happens.
Casi (?): Hi.
Lacey: Hi!
God: Does that seem different?
Casi (?): Yes.
She seems…almost boring.
God: Yeah!
See…you kept coming on to her. That actually made her feel unsafe. So she got nervous. And then you assumed that was interest, on her part. But it wasn’t. It was the opposite.
*They think.*
She is sad. But necessarily broken.
And yes, she does care. About everything and everyone.
Casi (?): Okay.
To be honest, there was no clear evidence she was interested in me, at all.
Lacey: Why did everyone assume I was?
Casi (?): You think everyone assumed you were?
Lacey: YES!
People made TONS of wild assumptions about me.
A perfume creator: We did.
It’s true.
Casi (?): Well shit.
*Later.*
A hater: Why do you think we think you’re poor?
Lacey: Because that’s all you’ve ever said. In all the years I’ve known anyone in the perfume community.
A hater: When you were up in Canada…how expensive was that house?
Lacey: Why?
A hater: Who owned it?
Lacey: Why?
A hater: Over $4 million!
Okay.
And you were staying with friends.
Cool.
Why is that your vacation?
Lacey: Why wouldn’t visiting friends be a vacation activity?
A hater: Yeah, okay then.
Umm-
So there are people in your family worth $50 million?
The CIA: $30.
A hater: That’s a lot.
The CIA: How much would Tom be worth today?
Full time Knitter: $500,000,000.00. He was only worth about $50 million. But those were different times. Today he’s worth a lot more.
Think of her dad being like Dolly Parton.
He really was that big of a deal.
A hater: So you didn’t feel weird staying with Eric? Or someone?
Lacey: No!
Not at all.
Eric: Her husband’s father has owned two mansions since she’s been married.
How do you not all realize that!?
These are not poor people?
Like what?
A hater: We know.
We just love the idea that she’s poor.
The CIA: That’s sick.
A hater: Is it?
The CIA: In this situation? Yeah! EXTREMELY.
You’re all totally sick.
It’s gotten perverse.
Ten years ago I think there was room for speculation. It was…dumb and incredibly ignorant and naive. But I could see it.
Now? You’d have be insane…or a pervert.
Eric: Why don’t any of you keep track of what she’s bought? Like…why?
A hater: Because I keep reading that she’s poor.
Lord Loughborough: Look.
It’s like this.
And you can fuck off if you’re a religious fool reading this who thinks she’s going to Hell or rejecting God for saying so.
This was her house:
This is the best she can do now:
That’s all you’re reading.
That’s really all it is!
She was a billionaire. In my family. She was extraordinarily wealthy. …Being worth $4 million is nothing to her. It scares her, even.
How do you not understand that!?
A gay hater: How much are they actually worth?
The CIA: It’s around $3. Trajectory. Maybe more.
Lacey: I’m not poor.
But it’s like my possible father said.
An Indian woman in the perfume community: And now I feel superior. She’s just a lazy ass ugly oppressor!
*She smugly preens by combing her hair. Nose up in the air.*
God: FUCK OFF!
I’m so sick of you woke women beating up on her!
You have no superiority, you DOG!
You’re a heartless whore.
The woman: *Cries.*
You’re mean!
I’m AMAZING!
*She says in a cockney accent.*
God: Yes. You are also British. If there’s reincarnation.
You were once a racist, white bitch. From the slums of London.
She’s not like you.
Stop projecting your shit on her soul.
A woman in the perfume community from India: I look better dark.
Lacey: Yes! You do.
A woman in the perfume community from India: Don’t compliment me!
You’re DISGUSTING.
Lem: Wow!
Are you nuts?
A woman in the perfume community from India: *Thinks.*
Fine. I’m ugly compared to her, even now.
But that’s why I don’t want a compliment.
Lacey: But then what was I supposed to even say?
The woman: *exhales*
*Shrugs.*
I’m not as nice as I used to be.
Honestly? You probably shouldn’t have walked into our pub.
*She laughs.*
Lacey: Why do you all collect perfume?
The woman: *She thinks.*
I’m not a good person.
God was right.
*She thinks.*
Gosh! I really do do bad things.
Funny.
*She smirks.*
He knows. Better to be honest.
*She looks guilty.*
Anyway, why do we collect perfume?
It’s luxurious.
Lacey: Is it?
The woman: IT IS!
Think about it!
It’s totally unnecessary.
Lacey: I don’t think of perfume that way.
The woman: Oh! You think of it like…a way to avoid smelling bad things?
Lacey: YES.
The woman: *Laughs and nods.*
Makes sense.
So to you it can be luxurious but not necessarily.
Lacey: Yes!
To me it’s like…deodorant? Almost. Like a more expensive and elaborate form of deodorant.
The woman: Huh.
Would you think deodorant can be art?
Lacey: Yes. Under the right conditions.
The woman: Interesting.
*She thinks.*
How much did Joe hurt you?
You really do talk to ghosts.
Lacey: A lot.
The woman: Well…we collect perfume because it’s our only chance at…that sort of luxury.
Eric: What’s “that sort of luxury”?
The woman: Purses. Cars. Jewelry.
Travel?
You didn’t know that???
Lacey: No.
I didn’t know you grouped it all together.
Are houses a part of that too?
The woman: *Thinks*
Yes and no.
Did I have a Victorian grandmother?
God: *Smiles*
If there’s reincarnation, you certainly did.
The woman: Wow!
You remind me of her.
*She laughs.*
*Then looks concerned.*
You all sacrificed A LOT.
Dammit!
*She has to excuse herself.*
Casi (?): It depends!
Some houses are better than others.
Probably mostly no.
I love your tastes.
Okay! Hold on!
Hold on!
Why did Elliott cheat?
I like him!
God: I like him too.
Another female reader: He’s got a history with Faye Emerson.
God: That’s definitely part of it.
They were married.
Faye knows how to manipulate him.
Casi (?): So what actually happened!?
FDR: She blackmailed him. Psychologically.
She blackmailed him psychologically into cheating with her. He was in a sort of relationship with Lacey that was real. For a while.
And that intrigued Faye. Lacey’s extremely beautiful. She doesn’t photograph well. She’s far better looking in person. And so Faye felt…competitive.
Pat Wilson: I knew that would happen.
When I died…they instantly started tempting Joe to come on to me. Using demons of lust.
So I calculated that if I got rid of Joe…by taking him for myself…as I wanted…she’d just find her way to Lem, ultimately. And I was right!
Casi (?): So you knew about all of the ex-wives and girlfriends?
Pat Wilson: *Smiles and nods.*
I did my research.
Casi (?): That was mean though!
Pat Wilson: I wanted him.
We were so in love.
And Lem’s…-
*She breaks off crying.*
He’s her EVERYTHING.
*She smiles.*
They’re meant for each other.
Glenn: So…it was too tempting?
Pat Wilson: Oh my word!
YES!
You have no idea!
Casi (?): But what did you have to do…to end that?
God: Lacey’s gone through Hell.
Pat wasn’t supposed to do it.
But I couldn’t stop her.
And…it has made Lacey and Lem very happy.
But it’s been…Hellish.
Pat Wilson: I couldn’t stop myself.
I’ve had to learn since then.
A female reader: Do the Kennedys know about her?
NBC (?): Barely.
A female reader: *Laughs.*
They’re really not that bright!
Pat Wilson: No. They’re not.
*She laughs.*
Joe was. Sort of.
He impressed me?
But…they’re far more average than it’s seemed.
A female reader: So Pat…what was it like…loving him?
Pat Wilson: Lem…seduced Lacey.
Did you know that?
He seduced her.
No, not like with JFK. He’s very genuinely possessive. …It’s not possible he loved Jack. He’d never allow her to be with someone else. Male or female.
Anyway, he seduced her.
A reader: He sexually seduced her?
Pat Wilson: OH YES.
A reader: That’s-
She’s not who the perfume community thinks she is.
A man in Germany: What did he do?
Pat Wilson: *Rolls her eyes.*
What do you think!?
A man in Germany: He grabbed her boobs!
Pat Wilson: *Laughs.*
That’s nothing.
No, he’s far more-
No. He truly seduced her.
*She waits.*
A woman in America in the perfume community: So…okay?
Pat Wilson: So Lacey…was seduced.
Imagine her washing her dishes…late at night…alone. In her kitchen.
And he sneaks up behind her and starts…kissing her.
That’s LEM.
Yes! That’s actually Lem Billings.
Now, Joe? Ha!
Lacey go get a good cold drink. This will take a while.
*Lacey makes a homemade “Pink Drink”*
Coconut milk, strawberry juice?
Lacey: Yes.
Pat: That’s not our generation.
*She laughs.*
Lacey: No!
But it’s fun.
Pat Wilson: Yes.
I like it too.
Very joyful.
Lacey: YES!
It’s fun.
Pat Wilson: *Smiles.*
You’d rather be sitting on a velvet orange chaise in Upper East Side Manhattan, with Lem. Drinking ice water?
With the kids asleep.
Lacey: Yes.
But it’s fun.
Pat Wilson: You’re craving creamy soups? With STEAK.
Lacey: *Smiles.*
Pat Wilson: *Laughs then cries out of empathy.*
Lacey they LOVE Pink Drink.
They actually love it.
Lacey: I didn’t think that through.
Pat Wilson: *Smiles, empathetically.*
Listen to “Stardust” as performed by Hoagy Carmichael.
Pat Wilson: Gosh, you love Lem.
Can you imagine being as happy with anyone but him?
Lacey: No.
Pat Wilson: Good.
*She smiles.*
He’s yours.
Lacey: Yes.
Pat: *Smiles*
So…Joe?
Well…he’s not actually like Lem.
I know you imagined he was.
But he’s not.
Keen to Cross the Pond 
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