Keen to Cross the Pond

Undone – The Sweater Song by Weezer plays.

Lacey discovered today that she was involved in a mix-up. Memo sent her a sample of Sintra in an Ocean Leather sample vial. …It was labeled correctly in its cover…but the vial was mislabeled. …She discovered this by sampling Love Don’t Be Shy.

…She also asked Lem why he would have pursued her. Why when he seemingly refused to pursue most other women.

“Because you’re prettier than all other women in my eyes.” he said.

“No, really. What’s the reason?” asked Lacey.

He thought about it.

“Because I would have wanted to sleep with you.” he says.

“Why?” asked Lacey.

He smiled. “Because I would have wanted you very badly…and you would have wanted me very badly and I would have known that. …You would have slept with me.”

“I’m not loose.” said Lacey, confused.

“No.” he says seriously, reassuringly. “You don’t sleep around. Nor do you want to.” He thinks. “But you know with us it would have been different.”

“Lem, you and Michael and possibly Louis are rare exceptions.” says an English witch. “Maybe you more than the others.” She laughs. “We’ve made Lacey look loose. But…in reality she’s far from it.”

Another English witch giggles. She nods in agreement with that. It’s not everyday the Illuminati finds your eternal soulmates in Purgatory.

“Did they find them?!” asks a Wobbly.

“I was just wondering. Why can’t they find everyone’s soulmates?” says Lacey.

“Well…” responds a living U.S. President, flummoxed.

“Maybe not everyone wants help.” says an actress.

“Why did you?” the U.S. President asks.

“I didn’t necessarily. …But it seemed to happen. And…I like to think it was the kindness of the English.” says Lacey.

A Putin nods.

“Yeah, I suppose they did try.” says the U.S. President.

“It was the benevolence of Queen Elizabeth II really though. She was…one of Britain’s greatest Queens, I think.” says Lacey.

Lem smiles.

“I agree!” Lacey hears a female voice say. The woman may claim to be the actual Queen Elizabeth I.

“So Queen Elizabeth I…admires Queen Elizabeth II?” asks a British singer.

“Highly admires!” says the dead woman?

…

“Should there be an Illuminati…they really get caught between actually caring about you possibly more than the parents who raised you and wanting to literally kill you.” says The Charismatic.

“If they care I-I think part of it is my imposing love for the U.K.. My permanent, unyielding, unconditional love for England.” says Lacey. “My allegiance to Great Britain. …Because I understand it, maybe. And love it. Forever. If God allows.”

Lem laughs. He loves it. He is English in heritage.

“Lacey what do you think of-“

“I would have just loved you. Almost instantly too. …That’s why we want each other.” says Lem to Lacey.

She thinks.

“Lacey, what do you think of American football?” asks an Australian.

She thinks.

“I want to believe people could fall in love that quickly. …And I know I can, actually.” she says to Lem. He offers to cosy-up with her on the sofa. She accepts.

“I find it fascinating. Not in a way of enjoying it, exactly. Like golf I enjoy…” says Lacey. She thinks. “Hiking, skiing, tennis.” She thinks harder. “Figure skating.” Then, “But…it’s an intriguing thing.”

“It isn’t as pretty as polo.” says a hater, possibly seriously.

“No. It’s not as noble either.” says Lacey. “It’s harder to defile polo with self-defeating bullshit.”

“How far would you go for love? Or clear skin?” laughs a hater. The Super Bowl commercials are…commercials.

“Far, but not so far as to destroy someone’s life.” says Lacey.

“Hmm…is chain mail cultural appropriation?” asks The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Yes! Unless it’s your heritage and you’re making some allusion to it out of respect and love.” says Lacey.

“I’ll be shocked if you’re not a tiny bit Scottish.” says Lem to Lacey.

“Fascinating how?” asks The Loudest Perfume Hater of Lacey.

“I just turned Rihanna off. She looks like a pedophilic piece of shit.” says Lacey. “Kids are watching and she’s up there practically masturbating.” Lacey laughs at the banality and desperation of Satan. “I’m disappointed.” She thinks. “Maybe we won’t even watch next year…”. She thinks. “Maybe they held her at gunpoint to perform. It’s like a suicidal minstrel show organized by the pampered, sheltered, arrogant, brain dead fools who brought you recent Balenciaga.”

“We’ll put you and you’re Scandinavian family in an internment camp.” says one of them.

“Why?” asks Lacey.

“Because.” he says.

“Because…you’ll be at war with Norway?” asks Lacey, repulsed by the developing stupidity of the conversation.

“Yeah. …Because we’re Muslim. You don’t know who we are.” he says.

“I’m not scared. Stop fronting.” says Lacey.

“You should be.” says the hater. “We’ll push you off a roof!”

“Then I’ll die.” says Lacey. “Are you a demon or a human with little to no mental ability?”

A commercial with pookas appears. Then a reference to Michael.

“They are dead, you know.” says a Tutu.

“But they don’t share their ass like a criminal and own billions of US Dollars, hoe!” says Lacey sarcastically.

“Well…I still like Kansas City.” says a dead man from Missouri.

“Jack…played football.” says a hater, laughing.

“He should have played polo.” says Lacey.

“I agree.” says the man from Missouri to Lacey. “And let me tell you something…you’re not dying until God is good and ready for you.”

“Well there goes football?” says The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“I still like football!” says Louis. “And I’ll tell you something…these aren’t shows for men. They’re shows for gay men and perverts.”

“You didn’t find Rihanna thrilling?” asks Lacey.

“No. I was married, first of all.” he says. “That outfit was trash. …But it’s hip and cool.”

“It’s very early 2020’s.” says a gay man.

He cringes. “I-I-“

An essential advertisement about basketball and black culture plays. Starring a Boston reference…that reminds her of the Kennedy’s. Specifically Bobby and Joe Jr..

“How should Rihanna have been dressed?” asks an older man of Louis.

“For a family show? …Appealing but not offensive. …Don’t they usually dance but not so…obviously?” asks Louis. “What’s wrong with that?”

“Like cheerleading.” says a football player.

“Some cheerleaders might be offensive. But mostly, I guess.” he says.

“So it’s weird. This show feels dead.” says a Millennial lesbian watching. “It’s not exciting.”

“What did you think of Rihanna?” Lacey asks her.

She shrugs. “I mean…whatever.”

“So it’s not a clear yes from you either?” asks Lacey.

“It feels dead.” she says.

“It’s alienating. Not be ironic. But really, I feel alienated.” says a bisexual woman watching. “It was super racist, super heteronormative. And I’ll concede it was also totally inappropriate for children.”

“Then why were we supposed to enjoy it?” asks the gay man.

“Because of the aesthetic.” says Louis.

“No, I see what you mean.” he says.

…

“Did you not enjoy football?” Lacey asks Lem.

He got angry during the Halftime show.

“We have you cast as a very Liberal, edgy, sassy gay man with a big heart.” says a gay man to Lem.

Lem is cold as ice in response.

Then, “Do you want your kids watching that shit?” Lem asks him.

“No.” says a southerner.

“No.” says the gay man.

“Who does?” asks Lacey. “An idiot or a pervert?”

“Yeah, you’re right.” says the gay man to Lacey.

“It’s not exactly inclusive, either.” says another gay man.

“Okay, but it’s American Football.” another gay man say to Lacey. He laughs.

“Why did they ruin it? …For a sport supposedly somewhat Republican in its vibe…they are totally missing their audience.” says Lacey. “How angry are the fans?”

“Do you think they’ll show it?” asks a Republican of Lacey.

“Of course. And it won’t be pretty.” says Lacey.

“Really?!” asks a Democrat of Lacey.

“Yes. It’s on a very subconscious level.” says Lacey.

“A feeling of betrayal.” says the Democrat thoughtfully.

“I did not like football.” says Lem.

“Why?” asks a gay hater.

“It felt…too sexual.” says Lem. “After being molested, I didn’t feel they comfortable being so sexually childlike around other men.”

Michael laughs. “I see what you mean.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so.” says a football fan.

Lem laughs. “Okay, first of all…those clothes are so sexual.” says Lem. “And they always were.” He thinks. “Who are they showing off their butts, privates, and broad shoulders for?!” Silence. “The cheerleaders? I doubt it that’s a conscious thought. For each other? …Then why do they traditionally hate homosexuality? …And then they run around so innocently. Running like enthusiastic, mindlessly cheerful toddlers.” he says. “It’s…uncomfortable.” Silence. “As an adult man I just couldn’t enjoy it. …But I actually did and do like sports.”

“Which sports?” asks a Boomer actress.

“Golf. Crew. Sailing to some degree. Racquet Ball. Tennis, possibly. Swimming. …Football.” says Lem.

“What about hockey?” asks Lacey.

“Yes.” he says.

“Have you ever played polo or cricket?” asks a hater.

“Yes.” he says. “I like both.” He thinks. “I also enjoy rugby.”

“What about fox hunting?” asks a Millennial woman.

“Lem, I hate to interrupt. But did you by chance…find American football to be kind of gay?” asks a Boomer actress.

“Yes. In a traumatic way.” says Lem.

“Was that an answer to both questions?!” asks the actress.

“Yes.” he says.

“Do you identify with the Fox?” asks a gay man. “Or the hunter?”

“Both.” he says. “I bet you’ll think that secretly means I was bisexual? No. I like Lacey, a woman, and that’s it for as long as God allows. And it’s not about killing the fox out of cruelty but because of what they do to attack other animals.”

“Lem…do you think American football is about sexually repressed gay men?” asks an American female comedian.

“I think it can be. Easily. …Not always, of course. Maybe it’s a sizable minority who feel safe hiding in it.” says Lem.

“Well, I know my husband isn’t one of them. And I just enjoy it.” says a woman who’s husband loves American football.

He nods very seriously in response.

“Lem, why did you do that?!” asks the woman, angry at Lem about his relationship with homosexuality.

He looks sad. “I’m sorry.” he says, sincerely. “I had an intellectual understand of homosexuality I gathered out of fear and desperation after being molested and not understanding what I experienced. …And that was the understanding I carried with me most of my life to a degree that affected me gravely. Horrifically. …I didn’t understand sex the way people of age commonly do today. I was born in 1916… I felt sad. Lonely doesn’t begin to describe how I felt. …Although I was deeply lonely and I didn’t know that I was. …I really was tragic. My family loved me. They sadly knew better in my case. Some families don’t. Mine did.”

“Do you feel bad for Jack?” asks the woman.

“Yes.” he says. “He was not helped by my friendship either. I was a terrible enabler of his self-destruction. …I may have saved him at first but it stopped there. After that I was…not his worst nightmare but certainly not his friend.” He thinks. “He needed someone to warn him. Not reinforce his false sense of security.” He smiles. “We have to go.” He and Lacey leave the conversation.

…

The Quality of Mercy plays.

“I’m sick of being told to be an equal to my lover by some strong jawed woman who hates me.” says Lacey to Lem. Lacey just got off Tik Tok.

“Oh, the one where a woman with a very masculine jaw claims some Boomer male refuses to do business with men who have submissive wives because the man assumes the men lack masculinity and mental health?” asks Michael Rockefeller.

“Yes! It’s sick and insulting.” says Lacey. “Do I just not exist? Do you not exist?”

“Well, maybe she’s just so-called biphobic and he was too?” asks Michael. “And no! Of course I didn’t exist! And if I did I’d want her likely masculine ass not yours, I guess.” He shrugs.

“Better her then some perverted bitch who grabs her crotch in front of millions of children.” says another dead man.

“While wailing obnoxiously about being pregnant?” asks another dead man.

Another laughs. “These women are hideous.”

“Do you feel like they’re men in drag?” asks a living gay man.

“Gay, violent, conceited men.” says a dead Englishman. “Like Jack at his worst, but with no dick.”

The gay man laughs. He can’t help it.

“So Michael is insulted?” he asks.

“I’m very masculine. And my ability to luridly dominate Lacey requires brilliance on our parts. And we resent the narcissistic attack.” says Michael. “If you lack the ability you lack the ability. But don’t knock it just because you’re too much of a idiotic, pushy, crass and jealous peasant-bred whore to understand.”

“Okay. Yeah. You’re angry.” says the gay man.

“So you think we use pedophilia to compensate for our innate lack of a sexuality we just…can’t possess?” asks a pregnant singer. “I wanna say, elite sexuality.”

“Yes! Obviously. Yes!” says Louis who was also dominant by nature.

“So we’re cheats? Who lack the biological ability to make love the way you and Lacey do, for instance?” asks a pedophile in the Illuminati.

Louis refuses to acknowledge that man.

“I’ll respond, buddy. Yup. Yup. That’s it. Very…good!” says Michael, seething.

“But there was pedophilia in the upper class!” protests an actor who notoriously dates young women.

“There was. But…at its best that’s not who we were.” says Michael.

“It’s a cheap trick to seem terrible and terrifying.” says Louis. “It’s a cheap way to cover-up for incredible weakness.” He thinks. “Incompetence.”

“And you and Michael were just too…far beyond what we understand to appreciate?” asks the pedophilic Illuminati man. “Currently.”

“Yes. And now what will you do with that information?” Michael asks him.

“Where?” he asks. “Where did it happen?”

Michael smiles.

“Did we obliterate such love?” asks an Englishwoman.

“Between a man such as I was and a woman like Lacey?” he asks.

She nods.

“Yes! It’s in our perfume though. …That’s why Lacey finds perfume so comforting. …It’s soft, tender and delicate.” he says. “But…it still exists in bottles.”

“Or is it?” asks Louis, suggestively.

He refuses to answer.

“Everyone is the same now. We’re all strong jawed, miserable bitches and losers.” says a suicidal person.

“Do you understand why she’s submissive?” asks Lem.

“Why?” asks a black male singer.

“Because that’s just who she is. It’s not an act. …And it’s so we can enjoy sex.” says Lem.

Love Lockdown plays.

“What if Rihanna is too owned to escape?” asks a white woman of Louis.

“And she’s actually feminine?” he asks.

“Yes!” says a gay man.

“Then we should deconstruct her world to save her! Deconstructing is good!!” he says sarcastically, with a huge fake smile.

Chemtrails Over The Country Club plays.

“Why is deconstruction good?” asks a Gen Z hater.

“Why? Because she’s black?” asks Mr. Blue.

“Because it’s owned by the people.” says Louis. “And the masses know best…always. Right? Self-righteous pedophiles? That’s your dream? To be loved?”

Mr. Blue pauses. “Are you saying she’s useless?”

“I don’t want to fuck you!” Louis yells at him. “I don’t want to fuck everything and everyone!”

“Actually, come to think of it…Michael, Lem, all of us are picky.” says Michael. “We are a bunch of desperate whores trying to fuck around to make our asses better off.”

“You use your sexuality to get money. It’s the way poor immigrants who lacked or lacked ability made it in this country.” says Louis.

“But what if she’s in debt like Jack?” asks a woman.

“Then she’s in debt. Do you want me to pay for it? …I tried. My whole life I tried. …That’s part of the reason we’re so enraged.” says Louis.

“She made a mockery of herself, Liberals, the media, most women and black people.” says Lacey. “I feel empathy for her. I hope she doesn’t kill herself. Seriously. …But it was horrific.” says Lacey. “I like to think she had no choice, for her sake.”

Alien Blues plays. He sings along.

“Why can’t women submit anymore? Why don’t men chase well for good intentions?” asks a pregnant singer.

“Because it’s lost.” says Michael on an anthropological level. “Making men like Lem and I so certainly gay…destroys society.”

Louis laughs. “I was straight. But today…I don’t exist. I’d be too supportive of beauty and elegance and goodness to be accepted as straight. …And could I exist anyway?”

Washing Machine Heart plays.

“But you seem equal?” a man asks Lacey.

Transgender by Crystal Castles plays.

“With Lem and Louis and Michael I just…relax. And maybe in that I find equality? But I don’t set out to find it.” says Lacey.

“Because they just love you.” says The Charismatic.

“Yes. I don’t feel dead in loneliness and with no hope.” says Lacey.

“So it’s a given? There’s no war?” asks Harold.

“Exactly.” says Lacey.

“It’s like…organic, real romance.” says The Charismatic sadly and thoughtfully. He looks disturbed. “Do you think our parents had it?”

“Barely. I think it started dying in the early 20th Century.” says Lacey.

“Do you we would be able to live without directors?” The Charismatic asks.

“Yes and no.” says Lacey. She thinks. “The thing is…we’re so conceited. And have been for centuries now.” She thinks. “But I think we might be at the height of our conceit.”

“Why?” asks Michael.

“Being merely rational is enough. And you can delineate into more complexities from there. But…we aren’t satisfied. Because Western Society can’t stand its Christianity. It wants to supersede pain and grief without acknowledging the reality of death.” says Lacey. “It fights against death, rightfully…but…to what end?”

“And the need to normalize stupidity to create so-called equality has ruined Western Society.” says Louis. “That kind of alchemy is impossible.”

“Meritocracy isn’t equality.” says Michael.

“And the ugly truth is that it may just evolve into monarchy anyway.” says Lacey.

“You don’t think socialism works?” asks a Liberal.

“Not unless everyone is actually like me in reality.” says Lacey. “Submissive-“

“Dumb!?” interrupts a hater who’s convinced their joke works. Flies off the shelves to national acclaim.

“Oh yeah? Your great Granduncle wasn’t popular like us!” say the They.

“Do you all realize…how dumb you sound?” asks a famous Jewish writer of film.

“I hate the Norwegians!” says Mr. Blue without irony, high on some drug.

“What are you? A mutt wannabe?” asks Lacey.

“You don’t hate me because I partially rejected you. Do you?” he asks. “You it’s-“

“You’re a vile person by choice. I doubt I’m bitter.” says Lacey.

A gay artist rolls his eyes.

“No!!! Stop!! She isn’t bitter. Really! That’s…gross!” says Michael.

“Then why does she care?” asks Mr. Blue, trying to sound demonic.

“Because you really seem that vile. And homicidal.” says Louis to Mr. Blue.

“Can I just backtrack for a second?” asks a pregnant singer.

They listen.

“Fine.” says Mr. Blue, acting very hurt.

This enrages Lacey.

“Why? You’re like a cold that won’t go away. That’s such trite nonsense.” says Louis to Mr. Blue.

“Do you think…Joe treated you like an equal?” asks the pregnant singer.

“No! Of course not. Because he was a filthy rich peasant.” says Lacey, in increasing irritation.

“When do I win with you?” asks Mr. Blue of Lacey.

“Possibly never?” asks Lacey. Then to the singer, “Listen, he was…toxic. At times loving, but essentially toxic. …And it’s impossible to submit to men like that.” She thinks. “At first maybe. But over time it’s increasingly impossible.” She thinks. “Because they don’t even want submission. Somehow, somewhere they just hate.”

“Does our government want submission?” asks a lesbian.

“No. It’s suicidal. It has been since…the beginning practically?” responds Lacey. “It’s all Newland Archer.” She thinks. “It’s all secretly in love with bullshit and always has been? But…we’re losing our chance to see it?”

“So you think America is on the brink of oblivion?” asks a hater.

“It’s based on our old way of seeing ourselves. Deconstructing without a regard for truth to find true lies is dangerous. …And…deconstructing itself is foolish on a certain level if not done with humility. …Science isn’t everything. It’s an attempt to explain everything. And it eventually fails. …After truly succeeding marvelously. …If we die off as Americans in our heads…what’s left? Nothing but rage. …And ambivalence. …And then we cease to exist mentally as a country before it happens physically?” She thinks. “Russia might win or lose? But it doesn’t end our internal death as a nation that we refuse to acknowledge.”

“Oh boy!” patronizingly says a Gen X woman patronizingly thinking that American zeal and nationalism is…huge.

“It’s not like it used to be. Nationalism worldwide isn’t, I don’t think

Mushaboom plays.

“I got a man to stick it out! Woohoo!!” says Lacey sarcastically. “Held ‘em at gunpoint. Stupid bastard!”

“Shaboom!” says Joe Jr..

“And look at that annoying cover? …Do they really even know what that sex is?” asks Lacey.

“I barely do. I only vaguely experienced it with Pat.” he says.

“Well, and I suppose she did get you to stick around.” says Lacey.

He nods. “True.”

“But you claim to have loved me?” she wonders.

“And I didn’t want to leave. At all.” he says.

Clocks plays.

“But you wanted to leave Pat?” asks Lacey.

“Yes.” he says.

“And yet…she got you. Your soul.” says Lacey. “Right?”

“Possibly.” says a witch.

“Isn’t that funny?” asks Lacey.

“I loved him.” says Pat.

“And now I get Lem, Michael and Louis.” Lacey says to Pat.

She nods sadly to Lacey. But it’s more empathy than condescension or denial of the truth?

“Are you and Joe capable of being happy?” asks Lacey.

“I’m viciously trying to work out my evil, if there’s Purgatory, you see.” says Pat. “Yes!”

“Then you protected me.” says Lacey.

And at that Pat weeps. But then controls herself.

“I wanted-“ Pat starts. “You meant well.” she says to Lacey.

“Oh yes, she did.” says a dead nun about Lacey.

“But you weren’t trying to attack me just now?” asks Lacey.

“No. I knew it was a bad idea.” she says and Lacey understands. “At least I’m working towards meaning no.” She thinks. “Openly.”

“Would Pat have enjoyed your life?” asks a Millennial woman.

“Yes.” says Michael.

“Would you even have known Joe? Or just Kick?” asks a witch.

“Mostly just Kick?” says Lacey.

“Why does Joe like you so much?” asks The Charismatic.

“She was my ideal.” says Joe, sadly.

“I wish I knew what that meant.” says Lacey.

…

American by Lana Del Rey plays.

Today Lacey saw a post on Tik Tok about how JFK supposedly was suspicious of the Federal Reserve and wanted to return to the Gold Standard? …She recalls hearing that once before but it didn’t stick in her mind.

The creepy thing is…she had a weird dream once. Lately she’s been praying for proof of the supernatural from God. This may be it.

What was her dream? …In her dream she was herself. She had the dream at around age…17 or so? But in the dream she was an adult. Who had lived in the time of JFK.

And she was some sort of actress??? …Who visited him when he was secretly stored away in some sort of underground hospital. Hidden away. To protect the public from knowing how sick he was…

Later she heard that Grace Kelly actually did that. And that’s always been weird to Lacey…. And that’s always been weirder to Lacey because she was very much herself in the dream. Not Grace Kelly.

Were she in love with Jack? …Maybe? But it seemed more like she was being paid to like him? Like…she was a decrepit, addled prostitute but not. She felt…like a…darker, confused, but also strangely more at peace and calmer version of herself? …And she pretended to genuinely love him? Or did she actually love him? …He was weak, vulnerable and sad around her either way. And she was very much in the know either way. As in, he secretly never died until the 1980’s. …And what killed him? It was unclear. It’s almost like he just disappeared?

*Louis laughs*

The dream left her…baffled, deeply disturbed and shaken.

Female Robbery by The Neighbourhood plays.

And where was this place?

Was it under the Greenbrier? It felt like it.

Was it Fort Knox? *Lacey laughs* Maybe? It’s never felt like it was under the White House, as logical as that seems.

“Were you a spy?” asks a Perfume Hater.

“No. But I knew people’s secrets. Almost like I was hired to know people’s secrets.” says Lacey. “Like I was into something illegal but I was so cool headed about it.” She thinks. “Nobody could ever catch me. It was all too hidden.”

I Walk The Line by Halsey plays.

“Were you jaded?” asks a Perfume Hater.

“I was almost impossible to find.” says Lacey. “And Jack thought he could. …But I doubt he did.” She thinks. “I was me. But…so lost. Ick.”

“Did you hate yourself?” asks a Boomer actor.

“I didn’t like myself. But…it’s like I was trapped intellectually in this…stupid view of life?” says Lacey.

“Did you smoke?” asks a hater.

“Yes. And I dressed like they did. …But it wasn’t really me. As in, it was me…but…me without my mind. Or myself?” says Lacey.

“Did he love you?” asks Louis.

“Yes and it was bizarre to me.” says Lacey. “Like…why do you like me so much?!”

“But he was decrepit.” says a hater.

“He seemed so anxious. So…flustered. So controlled.” says Lacey. “As if he had almost no freedom.”

Skyfall by Adele plays.

“Did you hate him?” asks Louis.

“No. But…I think I thought of running off with him and breaking him out of that place.” says Lacey.

“Wait…it was creepy to you that he liked you romantically?” clarifies a perfume hater.

“Yes. Like…why?!” asks Lacey.

Flashing Lights by Kanye West plays.

“Lacey could you have been married to someone else?” asks Louis.

“Did I have a life? Or was I just…low-key dead inside?” asks Lacey.

“So you’re wilder than that version of you?” asks a perfume hater.

“I’m more internally vivid.” says Lacey. “And stronger.”

“And yet it was you?” asks an English singer.

“Yes. I was so gullible though.” says Lacey. “And I was less…of a fighter.” She thinks again. “I might have been more cool headed and cooler in general though. People liked me more. …Not that I respected that at all.”

“Would you have been better at math?” asks a hater.

“Yes?” says Lacey. “But…why did he like me so much?” she scoffs, cringes.

“Were you still pretty?” asks a perfume hater.

“Yes. I looked like me. But…so…grey. And brown. And blasé.” says Lacey.

“Did you just think he was being short-changed?” asks a hater.

“I thought he was an idiot for it and I felt sorry for him. And embarrassed for him too. But…I got his appreciation for my? What was it? My power?” asks Lacey.

“You knew things he didn’t.” says Louis.

“Yes. He depended on me?” wonders Lacey.

“And so they acted like what? Like he was dead? But he wasn’t?” asks Lem.

“Yes. He lived in secrecy. …Maybe his fake death was less traumatic somehow too?” she wonders.

“I would still have loved you.” says Lem.

“And if that was some hateful approximation of you…I love you.” says Lacey.

“Why isn’t it bad if Lem loved that version of you?” asks a hater.

“Because he would have seen my heart. Hopefully not more easily.” says Lacey. “Jack was…mistaken. Poor dear.”

“Why?” asks a hater.

“Because he…thought I was being genuine when I wasn’t. And then I felt bad for him the way you would for a less intelligent or weak wife or a child? …And it ruined my ability to respect him as a husband.” says. “It felt embarrassing.”

“Well…he was happy though?” asks Thirsten.

Lacey thinks. “He was…lonely and dependent and desperate.”

“You genuinely felt sorry for him.” says a man.

“I despised his desperate vulnerability and lack of perspective.” says Lacey. “I thought the US Presidency had ruined him?”

“And you wondered if he was better off dead?” asks a hater.

“Yes? Because it seemed so overwhelming and draining to him.” says Lacey.

Shake Me Down plays.

“Did you think you might be better off dead?” asks Louis.

“Yes? But of course only correctly. …I was very alone.” says Lacey.

Silver Soul plays.

“Where was that hole?” asks Lacey.

“Where did it feel like?” asks Bernie Madoff.

“Somewhere in Virginia?” she says. “Or North Carolina? Or…West Virginia?” says Lacey.

“Not Fort Knox?” asks a hater.

“No. But it felt military. Like…a combination of Greenbrier and Fort Knox.” She thinks. “I was too insouciant and…in the know and powerful to be Marilyn Monroe. Or anyone famous. …I was so repulsed.” says Lacey.

“What was Jack like that vulnerable?” asks a hater.

“Sad. If he’s capable of being more…sturdy and benevolent and all around good? It was pathetic.” says Lacey. “But of course, I empathized with his humanity as a human.”

“I think he loved you and you patronized him.” says a perfume hater.

“Hmm. I didn’t love him? At all? Maybe not as a lover but as a person? Just someone watching him objectively?” asks Lacey. “Since when is lying to someone truly loving them in that situation?”

Beautiful by Snoop Dogg plays.

“Did Jack want the gold standard out of subconscious suspicion of Lem?” asks a hater.

“Like he was faking his love?” asks Lacey.

“Yes. Of course.” says a Democrat hater.

“Can I really respond?” asks Lacey. “Is that allowed?”