Romeo and Juliet

I’ve always hated Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. I mean, I’ve loathed it. I plan to reread it though this year. The first time I read it was in the 9th grade and I’ve refused to read it since. The two most popular film versions made me feel literally nauseated when I watched them…

…When I was about 8 or 9 years old I prayed fervently to go back in time to the 1950’s or 60’s. Looking back, I felt pulled at in my spirit every time I heard an old song. And that miserable feeling only abated when I started delving more into history… But, my birth father may have been born in 1894. I’ve written too much about this already. Anyway, I bring all of that up again simply to discuss why I hated Romeo and Juliet. I think I hated it so profoundly because I felt it was entirely unfair. Why were we celebrating two kids who fell in love and decided to kill themselves after losing their other half?! How utterly depressing and insulting. When you truly love someone and they love you you keep living to honor them. Your love is so “perfect” (even if flawed and human) that you don’t need to prove anything to yourself or them by following them into the eternal night. You live on, bravely. Especially when you’re so young. It was illogical and insulting.

But that was before I knew what it felt like to be longed for by some types of people. Men in my case. I certainly don’t advocate suicide ever but, I understand the idea of love in that play differently now. I still think at least a type of perfect love would allow for life alone, led bravely and contently waiting for Heaven. Still, some people are very passionate.

I don’t think I’ve really intentionally reevaluated Romeo and Juliet until the last year or two. If I ever felt differently it meant nothing to me until very recently. I still find their deaths profoundly aggravating and evil but I feel like it’s less irritating intellectually to try to grasp their psychological states as characters. Certainly some epic lovers would rather their other half live on and live well. Happily. I mean, that’s what I would want. But how lovely to long for someone by nature so fervently…

Lots of Shakespeare this year.