Jealousy In Emanuel Swedenborg’s Purgatory

I don’t get jealous. Almost ever. If someone or something isn’t mine…I genuinely enjoy the feeling of letting go. I’d far rather be at peace than prove my worth. I’m not insecure. I’m sad. Profoundly sad. But never insecure. Insecurity is idiotic if you think about it truly objectively. Sorry. Get over it. *wink*

I don’t understand jealousy. It annoys me. Like the way one’s nose clouds up when you have a cold. It’s to be avoided at almost all costs. It’s like buying a dying factory that poisons people in a dying town. Useless. Embarrassing like a smelly fart. It happens…but golly. How ugly. What a sheer stench of death.


And I refuse to suck literal puss for any man. Why would you need to? Medically or otherwise. It’s idiotic.

And…yet…in a crazy world that might not exist…a 30 something living woman named Lacey…can possibly see and interact with real ghosts. And they don’t go away when you rebuke them in the name of Jesus. And no “religious” demons from Hell can change that. Only God could…

And Lacey fell in love. Uh oh! Can’t be!!! *gasp* And one of them was Lem.

Can’t be!!

…But what if she did? And it baffled her… But she was curious to figure him out. And she loves troubling, complicated puzzles. They delight her. She’s wondered for years where Amelia Earhart is… It haunts her. Maybe literally.

And no. She isn’t Amelia. She isn’t Jack. She isn’t you. She isn’t…Marilyn Monroe. She’s just her. Try to comprehend that dear readers. And you’re you. Remember? You exist too. Right? Dear God above I hope so.

“They’ll never find it.”

And Harold Loeb had her first. And he understands her.

Can’t be! But what if…

So did Joe. Jr.. And he’d like to vent about it all night long. *wicked half smile*

But Harold…makes Lem jealous. And Louis is- Louis is vile to contemplate for Lem. And Lacey doesn’t get it. She doesn’t want anyone to feel real pain. But she just doesn’t get it.

*Joe laughs*

And…no one knows.

It’s crazy.

And Satan hopes you’ll get jealous and ruin it. Or believe it’s real and make things worse? Or believe they’re demons and make things worse? …Never wonder. Never ask why. Just assume whatever feels pretty. Whatever feels pretty right now

“Oh! Lem was gay.” “Oh! Lem is gay.” “Oh! Lem is bisexual. …I guess. *eye-roll*” Or? What if he really was straight? Did the jealousy he had over Jack exist or did some people just see him being capable of jealousy and make many assumptions? Or…was he jealous over pure friendship? And if so…what does that mean? He seems to get jealous regardless. *sweet shrug*

Oh! I bet it’s just a demon tricking Lacey! Right? *laugh* Because…it would have to be that. I mean…it’s Lacey. And ghosts don’t exist. And if God exists Satan hates Lacey almost as much as God loves her. Almost. *smile* So…it’s likely to be a demon. Lem was gay. And Lacey is just a figment of your superior imagination. You’re like Scott. You’re pure genius. Because you’d have to be to be truly lovable or worth anything or fascinating. Right?

No. I can guarantee that last part isn’t true.

What if it’s exceedingly serious to lie about being gay? In God’s eyes. What if He cares about everyone’s pain? What if…He’s unfathomably fair? Just? Perfect? And Jack can’t explain it to Lem if Lem wanted him to because Jack gets jealous too and he doesn’t understand Lacey either, to be honest. Not enough. And Scott just goes silent in empathetic anger when you ask him to explain Lacey’s inability to understand jealousy. So does Zelda…and she was crazy too, of course. “Why ask why?” she’d say.

Keep your eyes to the sun sun lovers. Keep watching it intently to feel cozy. *wink* Or don’t. Lacey says don’t. Lem does too. …And so does Louis. But who are they? They aren’t famous people in their own right. Right? Right.

“They all know about me!” Joe Jr. says ironically.

Happy Fourth of July!