Mistakes

Turns out Erin is confused.

You can’t kill Karrie. You can’t kill Lacey. Right? …Because she resists through the power of the God of the Bible.

“Which version of the Hily Bible?” asks a Charismatic Christian on Tik Tok accusingly.

“The Holy Bible. The word of God. If it’s the actual Bible it’s the Bible. The Bible is a spiritual book.” says Lacey.

“Does that just seem pedantic to you?” asks the Charismatic Christian of Lacey.

Silence.

“They used you to attack me and possibly kill Queen Elizabeth II.” says Lacey. “Are you a hidden sex slave who aged out of the system or are you dangerous?”

Silence.

“Stop reading this blog convinced you’re a victim.” says Michael to the Charismatic Christian Tik Tok star.

“Why did they chose me?!” he asks.

“Because you look like a combination of Kem and Joe.” says Lacey. “And you’re younger than me. And they don’t like that I’m not a pedophile.” She thinks. “You’re in your 20’s and it’s legal but it’s still weird to me. I’m not one to ever date younger men.” She thinks. “Also, they may have sympathized with my Christianity and wanted to find me a better husband.” She thinks. “And mostly they manifested you.”

Help by the Beatles plays.

“The American middle class needs to learn.” says Louis.

I Stand Corrected sings Joe Jr..

“Okay. So…you’d have cheated on me?” Joe Jr. asks of Lacey.

“No. You’d have destroyed our covenant first.” says Lacey.

“That doesn’t count!” he says to her in a huff.

“Have you checked the legal traditions of actual ancient Jews and the Bible itself?” Lacey asks Joe Jr..

“Fine!” he yells.

“Joe…getting you off isn’t of the utmost importance to all of God’s creation?” asks Lacey.

“But you cheated?” he asks.

“No, I played dumb to save my life. You destroyed the covenant. And I lost you. There was no marriage to cheat on. Right?” says Lacey. “The thing is…even if I did, I was trying to leave you forever.” She thinks. “I may have been trying to strangle the marriage to death.”

“Why would you do that?!” he asks in tears.

“Why are you crying?!” asks Lacey. “Wasn’t her pussy good enough for you?”

He thinks.

“Are you having buyer’s remorse?” asks Lacey.

“I mean it wasn’t sex.” he says to Lacey.

“I caught you.” says Lacey.

He thinks.

“Aren’t I pretty enough to make up for it?!” he asks jokingly.

“Almost.” says Lacey softly.

“How can I make it up to you?” he asks her.

“Do you want the truth?” Lacey asks him.

“Yes.” he decides, fretfully.

“I saw it coming.” says Lacey. “And that’s why I can’t stand it.”

“You knew I would cheat?” he asks her.

Roll Over Beethoven by The Eastern Laces plays.

“I worried you would.” she says.

He smiles, cries.

“I thought you knew that-But did you just…ignore it?!” asks Lacey almost loosing her breath. She catches herself. “You can’t-“ she gets up and walks out of the Whitehouse. The White House. Whatever.

She walks out, onto Pennsylvania Avenue. Laughs silently in her head. She gets on a bus and heads to Penn Station.

“Where are you going?” a shocked tourist asks the First Lady.

“Penn Station. Where are you going?” Lacey asks the tourist.

They look shocked, smiling.

“My wife and I are going to the art museum!” a man interrupts.

“That’s wonderful!” Lacey says happily.

Everyone on the bus smiles. A group discussion about art starts. It’s a pleasant bus ride.

“And then what?” an Illuminati member asks her.

“I get in the train.” says Lacey. “It’s pretty simple.”

“What if the photographers found you?” asks a journalist in the Illuminati.

“Honestly?” asks Lacey.

He nods his head yes.

“Just whatever. Just go ahead and take photos.” she says. “I mean…whatever.”

“But they’d stalk you to your final destination.” explains a celebrity.

“Well…okay.” says Lacey.

“Yeah, I’d already know who it was.” says Joe Jr..

A group of The Real Housewives of some neighborhood stare at Joe in confusion.

“I don’t exist.” he says to them.

“Except if we’re dead right now…you do exist.” the housewife says to him.

He smiles flirtatiously at her.

“You allow for the possibility that’s he’s over you and ready to date?!” ask Wobbly and Joeschmoshow.

“Of course.” says Lacey sitting on the train. “He’s the President. He can do whatever he wants.” She smiles. “You should focus more on the situation in the Caribbean. There’s lots of interesting cultures there.” she says to the press.

“Is there one in particular that’s concerning to you?” asks a man in the press, intrigued.

“Cuba has been in trouble for years. The best thing to do is to hope for our great ambassadors and foreign service workers to work out some diplomatic way to help them progress towards our goals over here in our little piece of the world.” says Lacey.

“Who’s the them!?!” asks a female journalist in a hostile tone.

“The them are the Cubans.” says Lacey patronizingly.

The woman looks apologetic.

Lacey gets angry. “Listen, you asked me!”

The woman glares at her.

“You…asked…me!” Lacey says to her in anger.

The female journalist gets up and walks back to the crowd of journalists behind them.

Lacey turns around and ignores them.

“They move on and leave her alone.” says Harold.

Silence.

“Any idea why?” asks Harold.

“Oh! I know! I know!” says Lacey.

Silence.

“We care because of them. But this was before them.” says Lacey.

“Then why do we care about you?” asks Harold.

“Because I’m alive after them.” says Lacey.

He glares at her.

“You asked the question, Hal!” responds Lacey.

—