For hours last night Lacey talked with Mr. And Mrs. Blue explaining that she isn’t in love with Mr. Blue anymore, that she possibly never was and that she doubts he was ever that in love with her. But Lacey is either a sacrifice gone wrong and they can’t get over their loss of her death in the Illuminati…or Mrs. Blue and Mr. Blue and Batgirl III just can’t cognitively comprehend the concept of her lack of interest.
Paavo Järvi conducts the Orchestre Philharmonique De Radio France in Prokofiev’s Suite No. 2 from Romeo and Juliet, Op. 64ter: I. The Montagues and Capulets.
This could easily be a part of the soundtrack for the last four years or so of Lacey’s life.
“I think she lacks a sense of self!” says Mrs. Blue.
“Why? Because I find your husband entirely undesirable?” asks Lacey.
“What if we were supposed to kill you.” says a Bush.
“What’s the point of killing me?” asks Lacey.
“Because you were depressed.” says an Illuminati Democrat.
“Right. So I was supposed to kill myself like a fucking idiot twat?” asks Lacey. “Not kill myself before I was 30 and had kids. Oh no! Kill myself after I had kids and had already started aging?!”
“Yes!” says a Bush.
“That’s insulting to me on a profound level.” says Lacey. “You people are such cheap squalor.”
“But we spoke to your subconscious and you said that out of everyone in your family you’d volunteer to die.” says an Illuminati member. “Because you were so depressed and you wanted to protect your family.”
“I VOLUNTEERED TO DIE?!??” asks Lacey. “I volunteered?!?” Lacey says. “You people are so incompetent!” says Lacey. “Don’t you understand that when a person like me bravely volunteers to die it’s a HUGE red flag?! …It’s not like…’Oh! These are weird Norwegians! Maybe this is their culture?’” says Lacey. “No. Something was amiss.” She tries to figure out how to explain. “I…think the problem is I was also deeply disturbed about the oil.”
“Yeah right!” says Mrs. Blue.
“No! I was.” says Lacey.
“Yeah right!!” says Mrs. Blue.
“No! I was.” says Lacey.
“Okay! Then why didn’t you say something?” asks Mr. Blue.
“To who?! When?” asks Lacey.
“Why didn’t you say something to your family?” asks a Bush sheepishly. “Dear God, you really believe we’re brainless, demonically possessed monster zombies of the true old elite?”
“Possibly!” says Lacey. “Americans make the old British elite such crass, vile, evil people. Are you all competing with that false impression?”
“I know they were based on historical fact.” says a Bush.
“No! That’s likely just bullshit.” says Lacey.
“Maybe the Bush family are colonized haters?” asks a man, sheepishly.
“Lies!!” says Lacey. “The people who I came here for aren’t so stupid. If I’m even reincarnated.” She thinks. “I hope they weren’t stupid at all.”
“Maybe…you all really were worse than you think.” says an English woman.
“NO!!!!!” Lacey rips shreds of hot, seething rage into Heaven.
“You’re not really that angry!” says The Loudest Perfume Hater.
Lacey looks at her in her spirit like she’s a zombie too.
“You’re FAKE!!” says Mrs. Blue to Lacey.
“Dear God! Are you all genuinely just brainless, demonic Hell-whores?” asks Lacey calmly.
“We aren’t going to protect your lives anymore.” the Illuminati says to the Blues. “The Bush family refuses to take the heat for this shitshow if they’re not actually responsible.”
“That’s nice. Gosh, I wonder if they mean it?” says Lacey thinking aloud. “I mean…for all I know I’m Noah.”
Prokofiev plays.
“Probably!” says a They to Lacey sarcastically.
“Wait! Maybe you are that angry.” says The Loudest Perfume Hater to Lacey.
“I am.” says Lacey.
“Why are you so angry on behalf of the old British elite?” asks The Loudest Perfume Hater of Lacey.
“I am too angry to calmly discuss it and you’d just read it and then ignore it anyway?” responds Lacey.
“Okay.” she says.
“What did that mean to you? If you are reincarnated?” asks a reincarnation specialist in the Illuminati of Lacey.
“Well, I don’t mean to offend you in your beliefs.” says Lacey half sarcastically. “But…first of all, my family can’t be sacrificed. The family that raised me.” She thinks. “Calm down and listen!” She thinks. “They’re VIKINGS. And I highly suspect they’re the sort of Vikings who have made HORRIFIC sacrifices to gods in the distant past. Maybe made pacts with gods who control the ground.” She rolls her eyes. “How do you think the Vikings did so well?” She laughs. “No! I understand the spiritual dynamic of your operation. It’s relatively short-term gain and then serious loss. But you see, we’re eternal beings if it works at all. That’s only rational dearies. If the sacrifices work that’s evidence that they’re potentially very dangerous. Because who are you working with? …Do you know this deity? NO! …The God of the Bible is different. He loves us. And actually, I often suspect that all of the other so-called deities were just Satan anyway.” She thinks. “The thing is…regardless, the whole Viking turned strong Christian angle of the family is disconcerting. In terms of ritual pagan sacrifice. They may be cold as ice but they’re not lower-class. They’re prim, elite, dignified, aristocratic people. And they’re VERY Norwegian. …FAR too Norwegian to be safely sacrificed.” Lacey thinks.
“This is not going to register to these people. But good luck!” says a Kayne to Lacey.
“Maybe some of them understand?” wonders Lacey.
“Why are Norwegians so bad to sacrifice?” he asks.
“It’s just history.” says Lacey. “That’s all it is. But real history. Not Tik Tok conspiracy theories.”
“Would it be like sacrificing a Japanese family?” ask a Japanese man.
“YES! If they were historically important royal silversmiths recognized by the emperor in Japan. And then they honorably and nobly accumulated vast swaths of the US ocean property.” says Lacey. “Well as honorably and nobly as one can in the course of US History.” She thinks. “And as a dignified, elite family proudly carrying on the traditions of old Japan they became very wealthy. Often visiting their beloved Japan and seeing left behind family. Cousins. …And then they start being killed. By the US Illuminati. …And I’m unclear what would happen if they were of the Jainism faith. Or? Is it Jainism in Japan? Sorry if I have that wrong. …But if they converted to Christianity…that’s just bound to cause major destruction.”
“Why?!?” asks Mr. Blue in a tart, condescending, acerbic manner. He’s always condescending to Lacey. Always.
“I think you’re actually not very bright and you cover-up for it. Or she really is a sacrifice gone wrong.” says Lord Thirsten Snotgrass to Mr. Blue.
Something nearly manifests in her room. It was a demon? Or a human face? It’s unclear. She prays and then she’s over it.
“Humility before God is our strength to go on when we are Christians and stupid.” mentions Lacey to all.
“Okay! But why?” asks Mr. Blue in a nerdy-sexy, flirty way he is still convinced will make her fall madly in love with him. The pedophilic crew in the Illuminati support his delusions. The fact that he has trouble hearing no from an adult woman makes the pedophiles feel less stupid and/or insane. A child clearly says no to abuse. But sometimes they also refuse good things. So pedophiles use that to excuse their fixation on their delusions that make them think that they’re not insane.
“What…exactly…supports your delusions in regard to Lacey?” asks a gay male pedophile of Mr. Blue.
“She’s a liar!” he says.
Lacey is flummoxed. “No, I’m not a liar.” She quickly assesses herself. “At least I certainly hope I’m not.” she says.
“Mr. Blue…before getting back to why Norwegians make bad sacrifices…let’s examine something.” says the gay male pedophile to Mr. Blue. “Are you a pedophile?”
“Yes!” Mr. Blue admits.
“Right!” says the gay male pedophile. “So…could you have a pedophilic fixation on Lacey? Because she’s like a grandmother or mother to you as a pedophilic grown-man. And you can’t process that she’s not at all attracted to you as you being yourself? You had to pretend to be her age to get her interested.” He thinks. “I think some older men, and some men over…25 could be genuinely viable partners or come close. But…it’s not an entirely easy, natural attraction for her. She likes men. But…the guys today aren’t as attractive to her as Scott, Louis, Lem or Michael, etc.. It’s a compromise to try to be able to live some life.” He thinks. “And of course having been been molested just makes her loneliness worse. But anyway…the point is…I don’t like you. I think you’re a fraud. And I’m sick of defending you.” says the gay male pedophile to Mr. Blue.
Jump Around by House of Pain plays.
“This song is BRILLIANT.” says Lacey. “This is the spiritual power of Africa.”
“Do you white fools have any idea what jumping up and down means?” asks Michael. “Spiritually.”
And at that…Mr. Blue claims full childhood poverty benefits in the Illuminati for self-protection.
“Those lyrics are possibly more powerful than any weapon known to Western Civilization.” says Lacey. “And bomb, gun, biological weapon, etc..”
COPYCAT by Billie Eilish plays.
“We’re eternal beings.” says a dead African man. “Does Western Civilization not know that? Or did they just forget? Or…were they unimaginative and backward too at times?” he laughs.
How You Like Me Now by The Heavy plays.
“No…the problem with sacrificing Norwegians is that we don’t know what they said to God. We have no idea what they said. And if they humbled themselves and tried to truly worship Him…sincerely…over generations…what does that mean? God knows what they gave-up to worship Him. And He honors that paltry human attempt to worship Him.” says the dead African man. “And…Satan knows too. So dead people, possibly. So do demons. So do angels.” He thinks. “Come to think of it…you’re the only ones who somehow don’t know. So…why be so…careless?”
“So! Who could we sacrifice?” asks a Fox News host.
“Sadly the Kennedy’s.” says Lacey in gallows humor.
Joe Kennedy Sr. stands in front of a Gaelic cave. He’s grooving to the 20th Century vibe, thinking it’s a cool place.
Blue Jeans by Lana Del Rey plays.
And…at the refrain…a Gaelic pagan priest lifts a grinning and vibing Joe Sr. up off the ground and begins carrying him away. He’s jolly and still cheerful at first…but as the priest makes his way to the cave it becomes clearer to Joe Sr. that…he’s about to be killed and sacrificed.
“We were dancing all night!” sings Lana Del Rey.
“Say! This isn’t ancient Ireland anymore!” protests Joe Kennedy Senior.
“Yes! But you either joined the Illuminati or they’re using your family as sacrifices now.” explains an African American man to Joe Sr..
“I don’t think Lacey thought this was a reasonable thing to do to people.” says Joe Sr..
“This crowd isn’t listening to Lacey and not you either.” says the African American man.
“They don’t care. They just have decided that they don’t care.” says the African American man.
“Why?!?” asks Joe politely.
“Really?!?” asks J. P..
The two men stand there feeling awkward. Embarrassed for the Illuminati, should they exist.
“Well…you know…it’s…change.” says the African American man trying not to laugh.
“That’s mean.” says Joe Sr. trying not to laugh.
They quiet themselves before God.
Dangerous by Big Data plays.
“More later!” says Louis Hill Jr..
The Illuminati suggests Lacey explain to the Blues why she thought having an affair made possible moral sense in 2016. So out of kindness she does.
“Okay…if I was to have been born in 1918 to Thomas Banks and married Joe Kennedy Junior I would have been trapped a bad marriage. People get trapped in bad marriages. And if Lem has been there I’d have had an affair. And we’d have left together and gotten married.” says Lacey.
“True!” says Lem.
“So to you it was like…an abortion to save the life of the mother when she has two kids and the baby is going to die either way anyway?” asks Mrs. Blue of Lacey.
“Yes!” says Lacey. “An ectopic pregnancy.” She thinks. “Except, Lem isn’t the same thing as a dead unborn child.”
“No! But I’m still sad!” says Joe Jr..
“You’re also the one who cheated in a marriage still deemed viable.” says a black female lawyer.
“Yeah, that’s likely. Unfortunately.” says Joe Jr..
“So it’s a similar moral dilemma?” asks Mrs. Blue of Lacey.
“It’s similar. I’m not sure it’s the same dilemma. Because I’m this case I was also confused about Illuminati-elite-They lies, and I’m generationally awkward.” says Lacey. “I think I truly thought Millennials were going to be less traditional in regard to marriage norms.” She thinks. “More focused on the quality of love in the relationship and less focused on the norms.”
“So a dead marriage would indicate the marriage contract being null and void?” asks Mrs. Blue.
Lacey feels overwhelmingly sad.
“It’s okay!” says Mrs. Blue.
But Lacey is sad for them.
“Well…that’s so harsh, isn’t it? But yes. Possibly? Umm…or potentially null and void.” says Lacey. “Like, it wasn’t a clear null and void but there were possible indications of that.”
“So you thought our marriage might be truly dead?” asks Mrs. Blue.
“Yes! I suspected it. And I thought he was like Michael or Lem. So I didn’t think he’d flirt with me unless he meant something well-intentioned by it.” says Lacey.
“To be honest it cracks me up how slow these people are!” The Loudest Perfume Hater says to a friend who reads Lacey’s blog. “How many times has she expressed to you all that she thought your marriage was dead?!?”
“Our marriage was dead.” says Mrs. Blue. “But…I believe in traditional marriage. No divorce.”
“And yet you had an open marriage where you both slept around?” asks an Illuminati witch.
“I think she means it in a bourgeois pseudo-intellectual way.” says Lacey. She smiles. “But I get it. No divorce!”
“Why do you think I’m so obsessed with not getting divorced?” asks Mrs. Blue of Lacey.
“Because you love…things that last. Things that are personal accomplishments over long periods of time. Investments. The idea of a marriage that brings stability and a sense of familial pride.” says Lacey. “A lot of people think this kind of preservation mentality is upper-class and old money. It is…and it’s not.”
“We fixed our marriage.” says Mrs. Blue.
“I doubt that. He’s a horrible person.” says Lacey. “But…if you love him then…that’s your choice. Do you?!”
“Yes!!! …I mean…I married him.” she says.
“What if you’d had tons of other choices? Or did you?” asks Lacey.
She smiles. “I did and didn’t. …But no…I love him.”
“I just can’t stand his personality.” says Lacey. “It isn’t abrasive to you?”
“No!!” she says.
“Hmm. Well that’s good.” says Lacey.
“You can’t stand him?” asks Mrs. Blue.
“I don’t think it’s that I can’t stand him so much as…I just can’t imagine being in love with him. As surprising as that might be to hear me say. …But there’s no accounting for taste. And that’s a good thing in consensual, adult relationships.” says Lacey.
“You feel bad for me.” says Mrs. Blue.
“Yes! But if he makes you happy then that’s good. And for you to fight for him to such a drastic degree you must love him?” says Lacey.
“I can’t believe you think that!” says Mrs. Blue to Lacey.
“Dear God help me.” says Lacey.
“Oh! You’re praying!” says Mrs. Blue sarcastically.
“Yup! You got it bub!” says Lacey.
“No! You think I’m an idiot?” asks Mrs. Blue.
“That’s a spurious claim.” says Lacey.
“It’s not obvious you’re praying.” says Mrs. Blue.
“That’s the joke.” says Lacey. “It’s a joke on the deterioration of the English Language.”
“Who’s supposed to get the joke?!?” asks an actress who, like many living people, hopes Lacey is stupid.
“Me. Maybe just me, among the living. God. Anyone who thinks like me.” says Lacey.
“No…you’re just keeping yourself company.” says the actress.
“Exactly!” says Lacey.
“Your life is depressing as fuck!” says the actress to Lacey.
“Yes! True!” says Lacey.
“And men today don’t…ever seem to work out?” she asks.
“Yes! There’s no stable happiness for me there it seems.”says Lacey.
“You know conjuring Summertime Sadness was SO stupid.” says the actress. “We should not have done that.”
“Well…if you meant well…it was sweet.” says Lacey. “Some living, Christian guy who I should have been able to click with.”
The actress laughs. “But he was…just like all the other living men.”
The Lark Ascending plays.
“Yes. Oh, I think anyone in their 20’s has fresh insight. But…no. He couldn’t reach me. …Not like Elliott did while I was with him, for example.” says Lacey.
“You know, you lie!” says the actress named Lopez. “You know what I mean!”
“Yeah…well…it’s not lying. It’s just that people can’t handle who I am. …They say they can. Try accuse me of being an idiot. But…truly…it’s my blessings they never can handle. It’s my actual soul. My beauty. Who I actually am. So…I cloak myself. A lot of what people hate is bullshit, I think. But…I don’t want to scare anyone.” says Lacey.
“Why not just scare people?” she asks.
“I think I have it in my head that everyone would just cry.” says Lacey.
“Yeah! Because your life is depressing or why?” asks the actress.
“Because…they need me to be strong for them.” says Lacey.
“More later.” says Louis.
While she eats a late lunch Wobbly and Mr. Blue conjure a man they assume is Lem Billings. Turns out…he’s not Lem Billings.
He’s a Jewish New Yorker. He looks like Lem. Except he’s shorter. His neck and face look a little different too.
“He sounds hot!” says a Jewish woman.
“He is.” says Lacey.
He smiles politely.
“But he’s married, I think.” says Lacey. “As much as a person can be married in afterlife.”
“Happily married?” asks Lord Thirsten Snotgrass.
“Yes! It seems so. …He does really resemble Lem though. I get the confusion.“ says Lacey.
“He had a good marriage and life?” asks a Millennial woman.
“It had its ups and downs. But…it ended well?” says Lacey. “And they’re happy now.”
Dreamy by Hania Rani plays.
“I think he feels bad for me.” says Lacey.
“Yeah! That’s not Lem!” says an Illuminati witch.
Lem smiles.
He almost killed Lacey last night. But God restrained him.
“It’s so painful to watch her be alone.” says Lem. “I just can’t stand her misery.”
Lacey thinks.
“But…God won’t let me kill her.” says Lem.
“Lem, you sound strange.” says a living gay man in America in the Illuminati. No
Sea Change by Stephan Moccio plays.
“Wobbly, stop shouting over the people who are responding to Lacey right now.” says an Illuminati witch soothingly.
“I’m not gay.” says Lem jokingly.
“Okay! So you’re not gay or you’re jokingly saying you’re not gay?” asks an actor of Lem.
Un Réveil by Christopher Dicker plays.
Lem yawns. “No! I’m not gay.” he says. “Do you want me to get graphic?”
“You’re not gay? Or you’re jokingly saying you’re not gay?” asks the original gay man.
“I’m not gay!” he says. “And she’s not necessarily channeling me.” He rolls his eyes. “I’m not joking.” Then he looks disgruntled but continues. “See…she’s not dead like an evil person. Her conscience is fine. Her emotions are intact. She’s just…possibly literally slightly dead.”
Summertime Sadness looks uncomfortable.
“So…she’s proof that we don’t fully understand how God made us.” says Summertime Sadness.
“Yes! If what I’m saying is true.” says Lem.
“Umm…so…I’m sure this has been said before…but…did Mr. Blue conjure Lacey?!?” asks Summertime Sadness.
“Yeah, that’s what some people wonder.” says Mrs. Blue.
“Okay! But…that was so likely!” says Lacey. “If it’s true.” She thinks. “The way people did change in the late 20th Century. And if I’m illegitimate…my father broke with custom and so did my birth mother in having me.”
“And not aborting you?“ asks Louis.
“Yes?” wonders Lacey.
“Or what? Because it’s not pedophilia. And closeted adoption was normal. So…what is it?” asks Lacey.
“It might actually be abortion.” says Louis.
“So…they decided to keep me. But…not get married.” says Lacey. She sighs. “I hope I’m not illegitimate in that regard. That’s a lot of emotional work to do. I’m proud they didn’t abort me. But…not raising me was dumb. And the only if I’d have been a Christian then the only upside is my kids.”
“Even though the home would have been broken?” asks Summertime Sadness.
“Yes! Very much so! …In their case.” says Lacey. All situations are different. “Other than for my kids it was…possibly worse than pointless.”
“Do you hate your parents?” asks her cousin. “Who raised you.”
“No! If I’m illegitimate they’re not my parents other than legally. And…I do try to be kind to them out of whatever respect seems appropriate and honor them as much as possible but…they’re not…my parents, really. Please don’t take that as a rejection of you.” she says.
Hate It Or Love It by 50 Cent plays.
“50 Cent is so good.” says Lacey.
“Does this song make you feel patriotic?” a Biden seriously asks Lacey.
“No. Sad and nostalgic for an old America and my youth.” says Lacey. “Our hope just decreases every decade.”
“I shouldn’t have run!” he says.
“They made you. Didn’t they?” says Lacey.
He smiles.
“That’s ugly.” says Lacey.
“Yup!” he says.
“Damn.” says Lacey. “Damn that shit to Hell.”
“Well…yeah!” he says.
“We’re a tired country right now. Aren’t we?” says Lacey.
“Yes! Very! All of us.” he says.
“I don’t hate you! Just for the record.” he says.
“Do I remind you of your first wife?” asks Lacey.
“Yeah, a little. She was prettier than you though.” he says trying not to cry.
“Jill was pretty when she was young too!” says Lacey.
He nods and smiles.
“You’ll have quite the predicament in Heaven!” says Louis teasingly to a Biden.
“Yeah!” he says.
“Well, I hope you keep God and repentance in mind everyday.” says Lacey sincerely.
“You think God can forgive me?” he asks.
“Christianity is a false religion if your sin, outside of rejecting Christ, is that profound.” says Lacey. “From what I understand. And of course, I have faith it’s not at all false in any way.”
Harold Loeb would like to point out that reincarnation doesn’t need to be clear in the Bible to keep the faith from being false. It’s not a part of the essentials of Christianity. If it’s even possible to construct a way reincarnation is actually a scientific phenomenon not clearly discussed in Christianity but still addressed inadvertently in the Bible. …But, of course, it’s dubious.
Bitter Sweet Symphony by The Verve plays.
“So you truly don’t think Millennial men could date you?” asks a Millennial guy of Lacey.
“They always confuse me.” says Lacey. “They seem to be happy in relationships. With people. But…I haven’t had good experiences with them.” says Lacey.
“What about-All of them?” he asks.
“They make lovely conversation. But…they don’t do well with me in relationships.” says Lacey.
Swing by Zero 7 plays.
“I’m her husband.” Lem. “So…unless I’m a demon…she’s probably just going to be with me for forever going forward.”
“That’s a terrible life!” says a Boomer.
“Yeah!” says Louis. He laughs. “You’ve all made a total mess of her life?”
“What did I do wrong?” asks Lacey.
“Possibly not much.” says the Boomer.
“Well…at least she’s rich and pretty!!! Right?!? What more could a anyone ask for?!?” asks Louis hauntingly. “Real unusually intelligent too!”
“So if there’s Heaven…you’re raising kids…hoping ghosts are real…and…praying…and waiting to die.” says a Nevin.
“Yes! But everyone dies of old age anyway.” says Lacey.
“But you’re excited to die!” he says.
“Yes! But…I love my kids. It’ll be sad to die and not easily talk to them for 30 to 50 years! So…I’m enjoying that. And watching people. Watching them live and experiencing the 21st Century with them. But…no. My life outside of my kids and my art is possibly totally genuinely over.” she says matter-of-factly. Clearly she grieved this a while ago and is moving on.
“So your plan is to live 30 years waiting to die?” asks a Millennial woman.
“Yes! As well as possible.” says Lacey. “And enjoying my kids and writing. And appreciating nature. And praying.” She thinks. “And my ex is my buddy. And he’s very helpful. And…I enjoy beauty.”
“So you’re totally normal. Just a Millennial aristocrat who genetically maybe was supposed to be born in 1930 or so?” asks a Gen Z woman.
“Yes! Or 1932 or…1918.” says Lacey.
“So you’re that over life?” asks the Gen Z woman aghast.
“Yes! It’s not worked out for me to almost ever live much of my life and now I’m almost 40. And I’m exhausted. …It’s kind of like when you try a DIY that’s…insane. And you can’t do it and it’s just increasingly overwhelming. And you keep fighting to make it happen and then you just collapse in tears and sobs and sit on the floor and give-up. Amidst the chaos. And then you look around and think…, ‘Okay God! Now what?’” says Lacey. “Allowing and encouraging me to be a born-again Christian is the best thing my parents who raised me gave me.”
“So you don’t feel like God called you to this life?” asks Summertime Sadness.
“No!! Absolutely not!!!” says Lacey. “Being a mom. But not much else. It’s awful. Although I’m thankful for my blessings.”
“So you ruined her life!” says an actress to Mr. Blue.
“My life had already basically ended.” says Lacey. “I had repeatedly prayed to die. But I had kids. And I’m glad that I’m alive for them. And…me honoring my faith and worshiping God…and enjoying being a mom…must be important for God to maintain in the world of the living.”
“So…your life wasn’t supposed to be this…bizarre?” asks a Gen Z woman of Lacey.
“No! I doubt it. I highly suspect something went awry.” says Lacey.
Toxic by Britney Spears plays.
“Why didn’t you enjoy being pretty?” asks a Millennial man.
Lacey thinks. “Because Joe Kennedy Jr. is a worthless bitch. Not literally. But categorically.”
Womanizer by Britney Spears plays.
“Why…do I feel like that’s actually what happened?!” asks a Catholic.
Lem looks enraged. He gets into a fight with Joe. Marilyn shoots Joe to insult Lem. And Lacey gets tired…of all of it.
Joe Sr. plays Circus by Britney Spears to mock himself and make Lacey laugh. It works. But then he worries it might make Jack feel alienated psychologically. But the song is almost over so he lets it finish.
Finally Lem gains the upper hand on Joe and pushes him up against a wall. “Apologize!” Lem demands of Joe.
“Sorry!” he says to Lacey sincerely.
She nods politely to accept the apology.
Lem looks disturbed. Terrified.
And at that Michael arrives. Grabs an old English sword and slices off Joe’s head and then throws it across the room.
“I assume God will sort this out?” asks Lacey of Jesus. “This is pathetic. Lem…do you exist? Or should I give up on you ever loving me?”
“I wouldn’t have expected you to be that angry?” asks Lacey.
Ocean Breathes Salty by Modest Mouse plays.
Joe, head back on his neck, is enraged.
“Get away from me!” he says to Lacey.
“Why? Because you apologized for destroying my sense of outward self in a dull, crap apology considering? And then Lem was dense and nearly useless and heartbreaking thanks to your family sucking him dry? And Michael has some sense of decency left so he chopped off your head painlessly? Wow! You’re a wuss?” asks Lacey. “A fake news story about masculine courage and honor?”
Joe vomits all over Lem. “I drank too much!”
Putin is undoubtedly unsurprised. By all of it.
“A lot of demons are trying to impersonate me to attack you.” says Lem to Lacey.
“I’m in love with you!!” Mr. Blue yells at Lacey.
Lacey nods her head and closes her eyes empathetically.
Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy by The Andrews Sisters plays.
“I’m glad Millennials at least have Indie music. I love that song. But I love Millennial music. Gen X music. It’s a mercy.” says Lacey. “Thomas Newman too. Our music is so much sadder. But it’s also far more honest.”
Softcore by The Neighbourhood plays.
“I’m sorry you love me.” she says to Mr. Blue. “Even if you weren’t a malignant narcissist it would be a bad concept to pursue.”
“Aww. Why?” he asks half pouting.
Lacey thinks. “It’s not a generational thing necessarily. In your case we might be genetically more compatible than other people. But…I think we’re ultimately too different in non-complementary ways.”
“So amazing of you to say something so…objective and thoughtful, considering how in love with him you’ve been.” says Mrs. Blue.
“You know…I haven’t been.” says Lacey. “And…from here on out…I’m going to violently ignore the two of you out of respect for myself. And that’s probably not a good thing. Okay?”
“You’re so sick!” says an Illuminati hater to Lacey. He’s not able to comprehend that she’s not a clingy, insecure bitch who lies. “You’re not a narcissist!” he says insultingly.
“I’m sorry. Are you retarded?” asks Michael.
“No! And that’s an insult to retarded people!” he says.
“Comparing you to them? You’re right! I’m sorry! I should have made such a sick comparison.” says Lacey.
“You’re not at all attracted to him?” he asks as if she didn’t just deeply insult him.
“That’s a loaded question. What supercilious sexual bullshit are you arguing as pure fact?”asks Lacey.
“Okay. So…you find most adult men mildly attractive?” he asks.
“Yes. As a straight woman that’s true. But…that doesn’t mean I want to sleep with them.” says Lacey.
“So they’re not unpleasant to look at. But…nothing more?” he asks.
“Pretty close.” says Lacey.
“He doesn’t cross that threshold?” asks the man.
“No! I still look at him and remember who I used to think he was. And it’s gross to me now. But no. Not really.” says Lacey.
Earth Angel by The Penguins plays.
“No! I have never experienced this normal human experience. Deal with it!!!” says Lacey about the love song to all of humanity. “My life never happened the way it does for most people.” She thinks. “And no! I’m not some real who would enjoy being told I’m loved by a sociopathic Illuminati demon possessed hater who’s tried to kill me. GET A CLUE!!!”
“And you know by all rights she should be extremely popular with men. Just based on her beauty alone. But they don’t look.” says Michael Rockefeller. “Not really.”
“Michael…in our defense…I’m not sure we think like you and Lacey do.” says a Boomer journalist.
Lacey cries.
“But what about me?!? And hamburgers and…” says Lem. He sighs. “Your love for England doesn’t intimidate me. I’m never letting you go. I don’t need you approval. Only God’s.”
“You didn’t screw-up! They’re just laughing. I’m sure in Heaven it’ll be fine. It’s just weird for now.” says a Middle-Eastern man to Lacey.
“That’s my hope in Christ. But…in this ugly world it’s difficult to trust for such a thing.” says Lacey.
“But you have no hope!” says Summertime Sadness.
“I have no hope to be happy?” asks Lacey to clarify.
“Yes!” he says smiling.
“It looks very unlikely.” says Lacey.
“So you’ve been praying for death since your 20’s?” he asks.
Come Together by The Beatles plays.
Here come old flat top
He come grooving up slowly
He got joo joo eyeball
He one holy roller
He got hair down to his knee
Got to be a joker he just do what he please
He wear no shoe shine
He got toe jam football
He got monkey finger
He shoot Coca-Cola
He say I know you, you know me
One thing I can tell you is you got to be free
Come together, right now, over me
“Cue the Sackler fortune!!!” says Lacey dancing mockingly.
They threaten her by saying they’ll drug and molest a child.
“If you keep torturing kids I’ll destroy the banking system? Or what? Something worse? The world?” says Michael to the Illuminati.
Sleep walk by John Cafferty And The Beaver Brown Band plays.
“Okay! So…why can’t God bring you a husband?” asks Summertime Sadness.
“I don’t know. Kids have died of cancer too.” says Lacey. “It’s evil.”
“Michael, would you really have walked up to her and grabbed her?” asks a Boomer.
“At 60 something? In the Met?” he asks.
“Yes!” says the Boomer.
The Man I Love by Billie Holiday plays.
Lem smiles. He’s Lacey’s ideal.
“Yes! She was my ideal.” he says. “I’d not have grabbed her. I’d have claimed her as mine for as long as I could manage to keep living.”
“Would that have scared her?” says a woman.
“No! Not me. It would have been instant love.” says Michael.
“Like overnight or instantly?” asks the woman.
Michael smiles. “Instantly!”
“How would you have known?” asks the woman.
Slow Down Love by Louis The Child plays.
(Adult content below)
“Her behind. Her shoulders. Her everything. Would have fascinated me.” says Michael. “And I would have known. Not just because I wanted her so badly.” He smiles. “No! Because I’m a very sensitive person. And people wonder if they’ve lived a whole lifetime together for a reason. Not necessarily reincarnation… But whatever it is…it’s real.”
“So! Should reincarnation be true…as unlikely as that is in Christianity…would you and Michael be willing to do this again for the British Empire?” asks a Boomer.
“Live two miserable lives?” asks Lacey. “Mine worse? While he watches defenseless other than for Heavenly intervention?”
“Yeah.” says the Boomer.
“No! Not now. It doesn’t make sense now.” says Lacey.
Satan is scared.
“What I worry about is that you really were just meant for Michael and Lem.” says a Boomer actress to Lacey.
Video Games by Lana Del Rey plays.
“No!! God wouldn’t create a world where a beautiful woman who’s beautiful beyond reason wouldn’t be loved.” says a Boomer.
“No! It’s a fallen world.” says Lacey. “It’s not that simple.
Come Around by M.I.A. plays.
“Can you imagine? Watching her dance? All these years.” says Michael. “Dead.”
“Where?” asks The Loudest Perfume Hater.
He smiles. “Alone at night in the dark in her living-room. She’s clothed. But…that’s not a concern.”
Lacey is thrilled to be still feeling young enough to dance after living a full day. At age 37. So alone at night she dances. Headphones on. In the dark of night. And watching her on the sofa in front of her is Michael. Only she doesn’t know it yet.
“Time for bed.” says Lem. “Just Lacey and me.”
—
Keen to Cross the Pond 