Nobody Knows When You’re Down performed by Sidney Bechet plays.
In the wishy washy, silly nilly Illumanti Gang they use pedophilia to gain power. Should it exist. How? Why? They bully the life out of their members. They badger people to become pedophiles or condone pedophilia. They use common, ordinary, old-fashioned peer pressure. And many new money celebrities fall for it. They’re so desperate to fit and be accepted or fear having their careers and lives terrorized they give in. They have no posh life to go back to so if their films suddenly flop they’re done for. They don’t have the psychological backbone often provided by being old money to cope.
It’s Lacey’s pet theory that the rise of pedophilia in the Illuminati comes from the destruction of old money domination in the American upper-class in the mid to late 20th Century. Men like Harold Loeb weren’t as easily bamboozled by smooth talking voodoo gurus who were really just pure evil not super enlightened. And…he wasn’t as afraid of being truly difficult. Declaring war. Ending countries. Etc..
The Illuminati they believe that by molesting children they gain access to magical abilities through Satan. Yes. It’s that stupid. …But they bully each other so much and are so psychologically controlled by each other the they often lose track of reality. …The thing is…some of them are just psychopaths and some of them are malignant narcissists, narcissists and some of them are pedophiles and some of them are just dangerously ignorant and gullible. But they do experience supernatural phenomena when they abuse kids that’s real supernatural phenomena…but, for whatever reason, devoid of logical reasoning to explain to themselves that that’s essentially meaningless and possibly only a trick to torture them before eternal Hell or horrific Purgatorial experiences…they get super excited by the supernatural phenomena. They take their ability to make people levitate waaay too seriously. They worry to very embarrassing degrees about losing power if they stop hurting children.
“It all has to even out. It all has to fit together to make a whole. We sacrifice each other too. Otherwise our relationship with Satan or that sort of evil goes drastically downhill. And he gets angry really easily. …But it’s not actually evil. Or even actually Satan. It’s…like…chill-evil.” says actor.
Gilded Lily by Cults plays.
And by old money I don’t mean Kennedy family old money. I mean New Amsterdam. Pete Campbell on Mad Men.
“So who’s in charge of the country?” asks a perfume hater.
“Secretly it’s Russia.” says Lacey about the U.S..
“Okay…so why is pedophilia not spiritually sustainable?” asks Summertime Sadness.
“Because it’s spiritually like diving off a cliff with nothing but clothes on. You might fool yourself into feeling like you’re flying until you hit the ground.” says Lacey. “It’s just a trick from the other side to brutally harm people while they’re alive and send people to lower depths of eternal torture.”
“But I suppose they don’t understand the concept of eternal Hell anymore?” asks a Catholic.
“No! They’re often too sheltered and New Age to understand it.” says Lacey. “Or they don’t cognitively understand the proper response to the idea. They have a Boomer mentality in regard to God. They think He’s their buddy not…God.”
“God is our Heavenly Father?” asks a child.
“Yes! But He’s a real father. Like on an old tv show from the 1950’s. Not like your abuser.” says Lacey.
“So he could be mean?” asks another child.
“Yes! If you were his enemy.” says Lacey.
Elon Musk thinks.
“Do you think I’m better equipped for Illuminati life than an actor?” asks a man named Elon.
“Yes!” says Lacey.
Road To Perdition by Thomas Newman plays.
“I wasn’t necessarily as evil as they make me out to be.” says John D. Rockefeller.
“Why did they include actors in the Illuminati?!?” asks a perfume hater.
“They had to. They had gained too much power to ignore by the middle of the 20th Century.” says an Illuminati witch.
“There probably were already a few…but maybe not as many as there are now.” says Gloria Swanson. “Should the Illuminati exist.”
“So…didn’t you sign some contract with the Illuminati to destroy people?” a Tik Tok woman asks John D. Rockefeller.
“I might have made an agreement, should such an organization exist. Or have existed. But it wasn’t necessarily as…detailed or evil as what its made out to be.” he says.
“What did you think you were doing?!?” asks an actor.
“I thought I was joining a fraternal…supernatural society.” says J. D. Rockefeller. “Again, should such an organization exist.”
A woman on Tik Tok smiles. “So like…war buddies?”
“Sort of.” he says. “We might have been meeting to plan the world. But who cares?!? That’s fun sometimes anyway.”
The Farm (From “Road To Perdition) by Thomas Newman plays.
“So…to you it was just ordinary leadership stuff?” says the Tik Tok woman.
“It would have been. Yes!” he says smiling calmly.
“It wasn’t a get rich quick scheme. Or like… mid-level marketing on a grand scale?” asks Summertime Sadness. “Because I think they’d fall for that. …I think that is what happened. But it was packaged with glamorous parties and cool clothes so it looked real.”
“So you think the American middle-class turned the Illuminati into a mid-level marketing scam?!?” asks a professor.
“I think they were unsatisfied with being humble and honest and middle-class…so they decided to take over and ‘get rich.’ But…they couldn’t handle the real dull, boring, horrible problems that come with actually running the world.” he says.
“But what if we have to descend to Hell if we don’t abuse kids?” asks an Illuminati member.
“What?!?” asks Lacey.
“Yeah! It’s unpleasant.” says a Beatle.
“Didn’t you send me to Hell?!?” asks Lacey. “Or a lower level of Purgatory? And…I didn’t even know what was going on!”
“You guys sacrificed Michael too…didn’t you? And Joe Kennedy Sr. really did double-cross the mafia?” asks a non-Illuminati witch.
“Joe…might have become a bit…uppity. He used the mafia but possibly once Jack was U.S. President he became disdainful towards them to feel more properly elite. The Kennedy’s may have snubbed the mafia, essentially.” an Illuminati man says. “We may have sacrificed Michael.”
“Yeah, you know…we’re not as messed-up as most of you!! Just so you know!!” yells an American middle-class woman at the Illuminati.
“That’s not something we’re unaware of.” says an actor. “But we are…very insecure these days, so to speak.”
“When did you all first notice such gaping amounts of insecurity?!?” asks a German of the Illuminati.
“In the 1950’s or so.” says an older Jewish man. “Before then things really were ruled by old aristocratic traditions of Western Society.” he says.
“At least, that’s one view of what happened that one of us might share.” says another Jewish man. “Before the shift in the 1950’s it was Godly. People were still afraid of Hell.”
“Giving credit to conservatives…that’s why they’re always trying to bring everyone back to the 1950’s!” says an American Gen Z liberal woman.
“Yes!! Were. …I think many American conservatives feel like things fell off a cliff at this point.” says Lacey. “There’s no more easily going back anymore. We’re too far gone.”
Suite For Jazz Orchestra No. 2 plays.
“You got sent to Hell?!?” asks a Tik Tok woman of Lacey.
“Possibly.” says Lacey. “I was…beyond terrified.”
“Why did they do that to you?!?” asks a middle-class woman.
“As a mean prank.” says Mr. Blue. “At least to some degree.”
“But what does that mean now?!?” asks a witch of the Illuminati.
“She can turn us into a comedy show.” he says.
“Aside from the horrific abuse…they can be rather humorous.” says Lacey.
“You just aren’t…intimidated?” asks a witch of Lacey.
“No. Not at all. I’m intimidated by God. You should be too.” says Lacey.
“But I bet you have respect for some people.” says an Illuminati member.
“I do when I feel they might deserve it.” says Lacey.
“So you’re naturally better looking than most people…kinder…and…you love the British. And you might be actually married to a dead man. Yeah…I can see why you’re not intimidated. …And if your father is Thomas Banks…the Kennedy’s secretly needed you to survive.” says a Boomer woman on Tik Tok to Lacey.
“Yeah…but like…she’s so self-important and pretentious!” says Mr. Blue.
“Are you joking or being serious?!” asks a Millennial actress.
“I can’t tell.” he says.
“Why did…you guys…sacrifice Michael?! …Just…curious…” says a perfume collector.
They awkwardly think.
“Why? You think that was suicide?” asks a Rothschild.
“Isn’t it possible that Christianity could still be the one true faith. The one true religion. …But…in a fallen world things are still arranged like Jenga?” wonders Lacey.
“Go on!” he says.
“Maybe some people really are the actual pillars of society. Maybe Michael was one of them.” says Lacey.
He thinks, feels guilty. He has many regrets.
“Lem might have been one of them too.” he says.
“Maybe.” says Lacey. “Maybe The Sun Also Rises was a very grim horror story.”
“Why?!” he asks.
“Because Harold Loeb was seemingly a good man. And a rare romantic genius.” says Lacey. “And a handsome, pleasant natured, virile, sensitive and artistic Loeb and Guggenheim.”
“He was a true American.” says this Rothschild.
Lacey almost let’s herself cry over America.
“Yes! He wasn’t supposed to be so violently shamed and throttled into a hellish life…for falling in love with Brett.” says Lacey. “That wasn’t supposed to happen. That was a huge blow against America and everything we stood for. …He wasn’t some blind fool.”
“It was celebrated as an achievement for women’s equality and liberation!” he says.
“Yes! But it was vile. She wasn’t good.” says Lacey. “She threw him into a hellish life to be able to feel superior to him and other men and women.” Lacey thinks. “She made a mockery of loving manhood.”
“And Hemingway helped her.” he says.
“Hemingway ennobled her seemingly evil heart. And then he emasculated, vilified and permanently embarrassed Harold for having normal human emotions.” says Lacey. “And that was the start of the 20th Century.”
“It made sense to be heartless playboy assholes like we thought the Kennedy men all were, after that.” says an Illuminati actor.
“Because they still read The Sun Also Rises.” says Jackie Kennedy. She loved that novel.
“And Lacey’s reaction would have been to sleep with Lem.” says a mafia man. “Did you do that?”
“I was more sold on things going on as they were.” says Jackie. “No!”
He shakes his head. “Why did you get roped-in with those guys?!?” he asks Jackie about the Kennedy’s. “You know? I’m glad you had your kids. That’s great! But…why?”
“If hadn’t have been me it would have been some other pretty woman. …I’m just glad I had my kids.” she says.
“Why did you do that to yourself though?” asks a mafia witch in the Illuminati.
Jackie cries. “I didn’t know!!”
“I highly doubt that!” says Lacey.
Jackie calms her tears. Looks slightly smug and upset. Thinks.
“You sort of knew.” says Lacey.
“Lem if you were straight, I’m sorry!” says the Rothschild.
“Yeah, I knew.” Jackie admits. “But…in a way I didn’t, too.”
“What did you think was going to happen?” asks Lacey.
“I thought we were going to eventually fall in love.” says Jackie.
“Like actually in love?” asks Lacey.
“Yes!” she says.
“You thought he was a complicated, angry, sad man?” wonders Lacey.
She nods. “Yes! We all did.”
Images of Harold Loeb tin a wheelbarrow meant for dirt being pushed around an 1800’s Gilded Age mansion on Long Island fill Lacey’s mind. He looks perplexed and shocked more than anything. His legs stick out awkwardly.
“I thought I’d let Duff decide what to do with Harold.” says Hemingway to Lacey.
“But it’s his house?!?” protests Lacey.
“No matter! Duff was placed in charge of everything by Hemingway.” says F. Scott Fitzgerald to Lacey.
“That’s illegal.” says Lacey.
Hemingway laughs. Hnb
“Well…oh well! She’s in charge now.” says Hemingway.
“But that’s a violation of personal property rights!” says Lacey.
“Oh, that is a common custom. You’re right.” Try them says Lacey.
“Yes! Like a wife but…not quite.” says F. Scott Fitzgerald.
Prelude For Piano No. 4 In E Minor by Chopin plays.
“Duff doesn’t see it that way!” says F. Scott Fitzgerald. “She had his dick inside of her. So all bets are off now.”
Harold is pushed into the garden now by his servants.
“Why didn’t someone warn poor Harold about the dangers of that sort of thing?” asks Lacey.
Hemingway, Fitzgerald and Lacey all watch Harold with grim empathy.
Once Harold’s in the garden he’s pushed along towards a path leading to the public street near the house.
“The Bible might have warned him in Proverbs.” says F. Scott Fitzgerald.
“Has Harold ever read Proverbs?” asks Lacey.
“Yes!” says Hemingway.
“Right.” says Lacey.
And at that Harold is pushed down a hilly road still sitting in the dirty metal wheelbarrow. Feet still dangling forward.
“Do you suppose it’s really safe? For him to be…sent off like that? …I mean…I know he’s rich and somewhat idle in his own intellectual way…but…is it safe for him to be so…sacrificed?” asks Lacey.
“He won’t die!” says Hemingway.
“What about trucks? Couldn’t one of them knock him violently to the ground?” asks Lacey. “And where is he actually going?!”
“It’s so pretty outside today! I can’t imagine he won’t have a pleasant little ride.” says F. Scott Fitzgerald.
“There aren’t too many trucks on this road!” says Hemingway.
Night On Bare Mountain by Mussorgsky plays.
“I still don’t understand why we let Duff do that to him.” says Lacey in confusion.
“No! It’s fine!” says Hemingway. “And what’s done…is…done. …I’m not chasing after him! It’s his mess!”
“I think I’d like to chase after him.” says Lacey.
“But you’re not properly allowed to.” says F. Scott Fitzgerald. “Sin and death and all that.”
“Then what will happen to him?” asks Lacey.
“Oh, I imagine he’ll go live with squirrels somewhere in the woods. Or whatever other meek, tender hearted forest animals will talk to him.” says Scott. “And…never will he make love again. Just…help the squirrels forage for nuts for winter. And…give frogs the company of his sad thoughts while they learn how to jump.”
“So he’ll never be a man as God intended for him to be ever again?” wonders Lacey.
“Maybe in Heaven…should God allow him in.” says Hemingway. “He might be more of a Christ worshipper than we imagine.”
“Yes! I suppose Scott preached to him.” says Lacey.
“But you’re going to just let him…live like a madman in the woods?!” worries Lacey. “Until death?!”
They both take deep breaths. Think.
“Yes!” says Scott in shock.
“I still don’t understand what gave Brett Ashley the right to do that!” says Lacey.
“She slept with him!” says Louis.
“But that’s not…something he’d have to acknowledge.” says Lacey. “Even in the 1920’s.”
“True! But he was honorable. And kind. And…in love with her.” says Scott.
“Genuinely so in regard to all matters just mentioned?” asks Lacey.
“Yes!” says Hemingway.
“So he’s a lovesick man. And she’s…”. Lacey’s mind grows overwrought. “She’s what?! …She’s…a cold-hearted, sex-addicted bitch?”
They all stand in the lovely light of the 1800’s mansion properly contemplating the situation.
“No! She’s a liberated woman!” says a woman from 2023 reading.
“But she took advantage of a man!” says Lacey.
“Did she?!” asks a 21st Century actor.
“Well…she was older than him for a start. And…somehow I think she knew she wasn’t going to be able to love him.” says Lacey. “I think she just found him attractive and just used him for sex. Or…she didn’t let herself love him…for some sadistic narcissistic reason.”
“So…you don’t find what she did liberating?” asks the woman in 2023.
“No!! I find is gross, deplorable and embarrassing to all of humanity.” says Lacey.
“It would have made more sense to sleep with Hemingway.” says one of his wives.
“She probably did.” says Lacey.
“Yeah! You’re right. …But why didn’t it bother him then?” asks his wife.
“Because, to summarize: Hemingway married 50 times.” says Lacey.
“You’re right.” says Hemingway.
“You think he lacked sense?” asks his wife.
“Yes!!” says Lacey kindly.
“He didn’t see what I did.” says Harold Loeb, covered in twigs, dirt, mud and dandelions.
“Exactly!” says Lacey.
“I think it was a class war.” says a black man. “And Hemingway saw her as the commoner.”
“So what is this special privilege men are supposed to give horny sluts?” asks Lacey.
“The idea is that they’re willing to meet our needs so the least we can do is…not require them to be faithful or…monogamous.” Hemingway says.
“But are they really meeting your needs?” asks Lacey.
“No!” says Hemingway.
“Then why are they allowed this…sexist or secretly patriarchal privilege of being pure evil?” asks Lacey. “That’s so disgusting!”
“Because they’re pretty!” says Hemingway.
“I’m prettier.” says Lacey. “And I say, ‘So what!’”
“But then they’re just emotional grifters begging for pity based on gender.” says Hemingway.
“Yes!” says Lacey. “But that’s exactly what they are.”
“And now Harold is eating pine cones!” says Scott.
“Why couldn’t she have been portrayed as truly evil?” asks Lacey.
“Possibly to minimize her, ironically.” says Hemingway.
“To minimize her power and affect on people.” says Lacey.
“Yes! That’s far too scary!” says Fitzgerald. “And Biblical.”
“Aren’t you a Brett Ashley?!” Summertime Sadness asks Lacey.
“No! Certainly not! Are you a Brett Ashley?!” asks Lacey.
He refuses to answer.
“Why would you think Lacey is like Brett Ashley?!” asks Harold Loeb.
Elliott Roosevelt laughs.
“Because she sleeps with multiple men.” says Summertime Sadness.
“Dead men!” F. Scott Fitzgerald corrects him.
“But if they’re men…then…they’re men.” he says.
“Okay! Go on!” says Hemingway.
“Well…isn’t that what Brett Ashley did?” Summertime Sadness asks.
“What Brett Ashley did was drastically different.” says F. Scott Fitzgerald.
“But Lacey has slept with more than one of you!” says Summertime Sadness.
“We’re aware.” says Hemingway. “Thanks!”
“Okay…why?!?” asks Summertime Sadness with haughty, patronizing disdain.
“Do you really want to know?!” asks Harold Loeb.
Summertime Sadness thinks. Looks suddenly grim.
“Yes!” he finally agrees.
“Yes, she occasionally does it to help protect children held hostage by the Illuminati.” says Harold. “She always asks God to help and save her from start to finish in that case. And that’s only on a rare occasion. …They take her sexual activity and leave a child alone.”
“Or they’re supposed to. If they don’t the repercussions are far more severe.” says a witch.
“Are there spiritual effects when Christians have consensual sex in loving marriages?” asks a Catholic.
“I’d bet the answer is yes.” says Lacey.
“We are sooo dysfunctional!” laughs The Loudest Perfume Hater.
“Okay…but is that the only reason why?” asks Summertime Sadness.
“No! She’s…been hurt.” says Harold.
NDA by Billie Eilish plays.
“What do you mean?” asks Summertime Sadness.
“Okay! I’ll give you the rundown.” says Lem. “Joe Jr. was her…secret…follower for her entire adult life until her ex-husband broke her heart. …Then Lacey lost patience with any man who would cheat. So she fell in love with F. Scott Fitzgerald.” he says. “But then…over time…it seemed like Joe was protesting. And Scott seemed to essentially be a possible cheater too.” He thinks. “And then she fell for Joe again. But he was apparently in love with Pat. And…every man…after…has either been in love with someone else and lied about it only to reveal it after they’ve hurt her…or they just…refuse to be empathetic. Like me.”
“But she’s with Michael anyway? If…she’s not loved better by someone else?” asks Summertime Sadness.
“Yes!” says Louis.
“That’s pathetic!!” says a Catholic.
“Yes! And she just rolls with the punches.” says Lem.
“Why are you suddenly admitting to being a loser?” asks the Catholic.
“Because I had stupid reasons.” says Lem.
“What were your reasons?!” asks the Catholic.
“I thought I wasn’t pretty enough.” says Lem, self-deprecatingly. “But she doesn’t care. And I need to respect that.”
Horrified, “But you know how much she loves you!!!” he screams at Lem.
“She’s just that beautiful and I don’t feel right about it at times. …Joe really was handsome. And she broke his heart. …It’s not a role I imagined myself in in that way.” Lem says. “I feel like I’m being mean…and lying to her.”
“You’re tall and buff and smart and so sweet!” says a woman to Lem. “And I think she just likes you.”
“Is that…attractive?” he asks.
“Yes!!!” yells a gay man at Lem.
Lem thinks. “Okay…but…their faces are so beautiful. And…I got fat and lost my hair.” he says.
“But in a handsome way.” Lacey says to Lem.
“But a handsome face isn’t attractive without a good personality.” says a Trump man.
“Yeah. …I’ve realized…it’s not necessarily protective of her to be so doubtful.” says Lem.
“You’re worried you’re taking advantage of her depth?” asks The Loudest Perfume Hater.
“Yes! But…other than Michael…I don’t think I can ever even vaguely imagine her with anyone but me now.” says Lem. “There’s no reason to be so…foolishly selfless if God allows us to be together.”
“What I never cheated and…I’m hanging on for good reason?” asks Louis.
“Then you don’t need my approval.” says Lem.
“I know.” says Louis.
“So…Louis might not have cheated?! And…she got savagely attacked by lying spirits?! Demons?” asks Summertime Sadness.
“Yes! Where have you been?!?” asks Louis. “Do you even read the blog? Or do you just skim through looking for your name?!”
“Yeah. I’m…still convinced she’s evil.” he says.
“Who?! Me or the demon you think is me?” asks Lacey.
“Possibly the demons attacking you.” he says. “You don’t like me!” he says to Lacey after thinking.
“Mmm…no. Are you a narcissist?” she asks.
“I might be.” he says. “But…it’s only become more difficult to deal with lately. …I doubt I’m a full-fledged narcissist.”
“Fame?” ask Lacey.
“Yes!! It’s gone to my head.” he says shrugging. “I took it to heart that I became so popular so quickly.”
“So how much do you act like yourself anymore?” asks Lacey.
“Not much. Publicly, at least.” he says. “You liked me as a person at first.”
“Very much so!” says Lacey.
“A lot of people did!” says a man who unfollowed him because he seemed too arrogant and conceited eventually.
“What do I seem like now?!” asks Summertime Sadness.
“You seemed receptive to people in an empathetic way. …Naive. Intelligent. Young. Clear-headed. Sensitive and yet strong enough to be a real Christian in an anti-Christian society. Cool! Fun. …And you seemed to love God.” She thinks. “But when I started wondering if you might have noticed me…you changed. It was around the same time. You seemed more jaded. Smug. Conceited. Cold. …Slutty.”
“You went from reminding her of Lem to reminding her of me. And she used to pray for you. Fervently. Because she was so terrified you would lose your mind and tenderness towards God.” says Joe Kennedy Jr. to Summertime Sadness.
“So…she got hurt by me.” says Summertime Sadness.
“Yes!” says Joe.
“So…you didn’t deserve Hell but the Illuminati sent you there. As much as they can. …And none of these dead men have ever been…clearly strong and loved you like you deserve either. …But…even though you have brain damage…from possibly being thrown down the stairs…you are more certain of God? Or what?” asks a Catholic.
“YES!! YES!! …The question you should be asking is if this is the end of the world. …Because digging your head in the sand right now is dangerous. …What is going on!??” says Lem.
“Lem! If you were straight, I really don’t think you understand how to judge men in terms of what’s actually attractive.” says a Gen X woman.
“Or like…understand that…women all find different things attractive. …You’re probably Lacey’s ideal. …And if that’s not evil…or unhealthy…why is it a bad thing?” asks another Gen X woman.
“I just don’t want to be selfish. I care about her.” he says.
“But that’s not what she needs.” says a Gen X witch.
“She needs you to be FAR more assertive. …Or Michael is just going to win. He’s Michael Rockefeller. It’s just who he is.” she says smiling.
“I know. It’s nauseating.” says Lem. “But I’m also thankful for Michael’s strength. He’s…been her rock.”
“So have I.” says Louis.
“True.” says Lem thoughtfully.
“We’re suggesting to Lacey that you should have been obsessed with Kick if you were straight.” an Illuminati witch says to Lem Billings.
Lem looks upset. Arms crossed in front of his chest. Silent. He smiles. But not because he’s happy.
“You know…I did notice her. But…not that much. She wasn’t really actually all that pretty or sexy to me. She was…not unphotogenic. …And…she could veer towards masculine. If I have to be brutally honest with you.” he says. “And if I was straight…I didn’t find masculinity arousing, even in a woman.”
“She’s not masculine!” says an average looking Millennial woman who’s obsessed with the Kennedy’s on Tik Tok.
“She is to me.” says Lem.
“What is it?” asks the Tik Tok woman.
“Lacey has big, soft eyes. They’re gentle and…luscious.” he says. “And Lacey has a curvier, sexier body. And really that should be enough.”
“So…why did you think Kick had this…visceral sex appeal?!?” asks a black rapper.
“Because I read it somewhere.” says the Tik Tok star.
“None of that is new information.” says Kick. “Every tiny piece of my family has been softer through over and over again. Only someone like Lacey would have any new information. You should ask her what her impression of me is!”
“But you never wanted to date Kick?” someone ask Lem.
“I mean…I was impressed. But…I didn’t find her truly arousing. I’m sorry?” says Lem about Kick. “She just wasn’t my type.”
“I don’t want to ask this woman…Lacey…about any of you!” says the female Millennial Tik Tok star.
“Actually…I’m curious.” says Lord Thirsten Snotgrass.
“She’s very conceited.” says Lacey about Kick. “She hated me first out of pure jealousy and embarrassment because I’m so superior to her and I make her look like a manipulative tease.” Lacey thinks. “That being said…she’s also sensitive.” says Lacey. “And I’ve heard her cry many times over the problems of her family in Purgatory. She takes it all extremely seriously. …And if her father is capable of actually loving people, Kick has that same part of her heart.” Lacey thinks. “She’s very sharp in that way. She understands things.”
“So she loves people in general?” asks Lord Thirsten Snotgrass.
“She loves people after thinking about it.” says Lacey. “If she loves them. …At least, that’s my impression of her.”
“So…she isn’t that pretty or sexy and yet she wants to be perceived that way. …And that desire to have that reputation makes her…annoying and hurtful. Maybe disrespectful. …But she’s also…very thoughtful and deep.” says a gay man.
“Kick was an awkward virgin on her wedding night according to seemingly legitimate aural history. …That’s generational, certainly. But…a super sexually magnetic, goddess-like women isn’t likely to have been that…confused.” says Lacey. “Even in that generation.”
The gay man laughs. “Umm…so…let’s say you are illegitimate. But like…legitimately so.” He clears his throat. Thinks. “Would you have been that…confused?”
Lacey thinks. “No!! That’s incredibly unlikely.”
“But you’re not loose.” he says.
“True. But…I never would be that sort of woman. Who….needs explanations.” says Lacey.
“Why?!” he asks.
“It’s sex. Not calculus.” says Lacey. “When you’re an adult in love it’s not something you figure out.”
He thinks. “I think being honest makes you a better lover.”
“Exactly.” says Lacey
“So fake people in fake relationships struggle. Because it’s not a thing. It’s a lie. And sex requires a real longing to be with the other adult.” he says.
“Very true!” says Lacey.
“Remember how Kick had a talk with you a while ago about how she had been feeling fake about her first marriage?” asks the gay man.
“Yes! I didn’t think anyone but me would be likely to remember that.” says Lacey. “Or would admit to it.”
“So…it’s just…a myth?” he asks about Kick’s sex appeal.
“It depends on what you want from sex.” says Lacey.
The gay man thinks.
“Michael would you have been attracted to Kick?” he asks.
“No! I couldn’t make love to her.” he says.
“You know…other than Lem with his possible psychological issues stemming from childhood trauma…I bet most of Jack’s friends were secretly queer.” the gay man laughs. “So…when the rumor is that Jack’s friends found Kick attractive what does that even mean?!?”
“Like they lied about it?” wonders Lacey.
“Yes!!” he says. “What if she was a flirt? But they really just genuinely loved her fun vibe? …Or what if she was a beard for her brother?”
“That’s intriguing. …It’s also possible she was an impressive person. Not…sexually magnetic. But…genuinely cool.” says Lacey. “She always had interesting friends.”
He looks at Lacey knowingly. “They cheat.”
“Yes! In a way. But so do so many other people who are considered charming.” says Lacey.
“So they were emotionally seductive. Not necessarily as lovers. But…as people.” says the gay man.
“Yes! Very much so! …I can’t think of a more almost shockingly seductive family in history.” says Lacey.
“What is it?!?” asks a Millennial woman.
“They act like they’re ugly street urchins.” says Lacey. “But then they work every possible angle to show off every ounce of their beauty and blessings.” She thinks. “Including their material wealth and intellectual abilities. It’s the directive that their fellow Irish-American F. Scott Fitzgerald gave us about how to be a social success.”
“So you act like you desperately need sympathy but then…always win and blow people away with your achievements and glory.” says the gay man.
“Like the whole…we go to Harvard. Not Yale! Just…Harvard.” says the gay man elaborating.
“Yes! Or…I’m just an Irishman. Now…behold my thick hair and broad, toothy smile in my neat-as-a-pin polo shirt on my yacht.” says Lacey. “Oh! I forgot to tie my shoes. Darn! Don’t I have sexy ankles?”
Jack smiles awkwardly.
“But you do. You do have nice ankles.” says Lacey.
“So…they act totally aware of every aspect of their blessings but then they also act totally subservient?” asks Wobbly.
“Yes! Combined with narcissistic self-confidence it’s different to psychologically process it.” says Lacey. “And so people lose track and have weird self disarming responses.”
“Like they start letting my family go down on them?” he says brazenly.
“No. Although, serious question: Do you think your grandfather went down on George Bush Sr.? You sound so scholarly and tough in your tone. So…since you said everyone that’s my first line of defense for my no. But…I’m open to being wrong. But also of course, I’m always a no.” says Lacey.
“For my entire family?!” he asks.
“Oh!! I get it. You’re being annoying.” says Lacey. She smiles. “Yes, I did sleep with men in your family.”
“Yeah! Hopefully not me! Right?” he says.
“Yes! When I said ‘no always’ I meant you.” says Lacey.
“That’s weird that you slept with two of them.” he says.
“It is! Your grandfather might have taken advantage of me. If he didn’t…I was confused. You’ve heard what happened. …I had a crush on your grandfather first. So…since they’re dead…I thought it was unfair to assume I hasn’t made a mistake and that your grandfather hadn’t made one as well.” says Lacey.
“You had a crush on JFK!” he says.
“I did, but I’m not sure who I had a crush on first. Your grandfather or your uncles.” says Lacey.
“You don’t remember?!” he says.
She tries to think. “No! I highly suspect I had a crush on your grandfather first.” says Lacey. “But I think…I might have reasoned that that was weird.” says Lacey.
He thinks. Looks sad. “What was it about him you liked so much?”
“His soul. I related to it.” says Lacey.
“So you liked who he was on the inside?” asks an actor.
“Yes!! I felt he might be a soulmate.” says Lacey. “And I wanted to teach him a lesson about being Godly and moral.”
“You wanted to put him in his place.” says his father.
“Yes! I thought he had lived his life…incredibly rationally. But I thought he was either a sociopath or he’d just had a very low opinion of women. Or of people in general. And I wanted to teach him that people can be tough sometimes and still be good, Godly people.” says Lacey.
“So you had a crush on Joe Jr. to be less…awkward.” says Wobbly.
“I think it’s likely.” says Lacey.
“And then you tried crushing on me to be less awkward too. But…that crush didn’t work out.” he says. “Maybe a year or two! And then my nephews but…that was weird too and they looked too different and too much like their parents and not enough like Joe Sr..”. He laughs. “See…you set out to prove to Joe Sr. that people can be tough and Godly but you started the whole thing by lying.”
“You’re right!” says Lacey. “And that was why I made a fool of myself taking your grandfather extremely seriously.”
“Does he have no soul?” he asks.
“No! I highly doubt that.” says Lacey. “I think he has a soul. I think he just has horrifically vile habits of lying to people who he doesn’t want to hurt or upset.”
He smiles. “So…he ruins it by being a coward.”
“Yes! Exactly.” says Lacey.
“You know…you two are probably more similar than anyone. And he’s likely tortured by what happened with you.” he says. “How do you he didn’t scream bloody murder when you fell for his sons? Maybe he just couldn’t stop it.”
“That’s why I tried even though it was extremely disturbing. …The thing is…I didn’t feel anything but motherly love for his kids while I took him seriously…and actually it effectively ruined my ability to truly respect them as equals.” says Lacey. “I felt no attraction to then at all after I took him seriously until Joe Jr. essentially acted like I’d been molested by his father, or something along those lines.”
“I bent my head into knots. I’m not a pedophile. But…I thought I’d made a mistake somewhere in finding Joe Jr. attractive.” says Lacey.
“It’s not incest or pedophilia on Lacey’s part. She was probably repulsed by the idea of being attracted to anyone but Joe Sr. and…just assumed it was a gross misunderstanding on her part. Maybe thought that poor Joe Jr. couldn’t love her because she was so maternal.” says a psychologist in the Illuminati about Lacey. “And then reasoned she’d been molested by Joe Sr.. Or something like it. And then…gave-up because it felt pointless.”
“What made you give-up on Joe Sr.?” the psychologist asks Lacey.
“He lied.” says Lacey. “About Janet.”
“What did he lie about?” asks Wobbly.
“How he loved her.” says Lacey.
“What did he tell you?” asks Wobbly.
“That it was nothing! …NO big deal…at all!” says Lacey.
“He probably lied to my grandmother with the same lie.” says Wobbly.
“Yes! …I wonder if he secretly loved Janet very much.” thinks Lacey.
“He might have!” says a Corey.
“Maybe he has to hope she doesn’t go to Hell.” says Lacey. “And when they meet…if they do…she’ll finally have to deal with the reality of it all.”
“You think my grandfather just got too old?!” asks Wobbly.
“I wonder. I wonder if he did just get too close to death due to old age and…being so young…and so…disenchanted with his lies…she just gave-up herself. Because she was simply tired of being the mistress.” says Lacey.
“She didn’t say that. But…it’s uncool to say that.” says an Englishman.
“Yes! It’s far more chic now to luridly brag about chocolate cake, orgasms, your figure when you were young and penis sizes.” says Lacey.
“But the only Billings or Rockefeller you’ve ever slept with is Lem and Michael!?” asks Michael
“Yes! Thank God!” says Lacey. “Poor Joe.”
“So she’s obnoxious and conceited and yet mildly ugly…but…Joe loved her. No matter how embarrassing she was. And is.” says an Englishman about Janet.
“That’s a happy thought. But it’s irritating to me that Janet at 90-something is still so clueless about love.” says Lacey.
“Because she treated love like a hobby she got tired of.” says a Silent Generation woman.
“Yes! How obnoxious!” says Lacey.
“She might just be ignorant.” says Wobbly.
“And spoiled and arrogant and…I hope she gets to see Heaven and…I won’t be shocked if she ‘falls back in love’ with Joe after she dies.” says Lacey.
“So you think she lied to herself? Or us?” asks the Silent Generation woman.
We“That’s an very important and very difficult question to answer accurately.” says Lacey. “Joe do you know?”
“To herself!” he says. “Should this be true.”
(Adult content below)
Lacey was curious to see what Summertime Sadness was up to. …And she’s still in shock that he’s so…defensive about his Halloween costumes and pumpkins.
Joe Kennedy Sr. stands outside an ancient Irish cave used for Halloween celebrations. He smiles at her and winks.
She laughs. “Are you flirting?”
He laughs and then nods to indicate a yes.
“What’s wrong with him?!” asks Lacey.
“He just doesn’t want to give up Halloween!” says J. P. Kennedy.
“I think I just got tired of dealing with all of it. He was just so confusing. He still is.” says Lacey.
“For you.” says Joe.
“One of the most significantly obnoxious aspects of social media is not knowing who’s really watching you. Not just corporations or governments but individual people who don’t want you to know.” says Lacey. “Because they don’t want you to know…but then they post insults that are not justified or even…sound. And you think to yourself, ‘Am I crazy or is this person a narcissist or…what…in the world…is going in?’”
“And being confused about your beauty doesn’t make it any easier.” says Joe.
“You don’t want to be offended if it’s an accident. But…that’s not safe.” he says.
“And what’s most repulsive is the way they act entitled to your pain in response to the insult.” says Lacey. “So if you accidentally misunderstand their meaning…and aren’t insulted as happens, especially with the more idiotic insults…you get the sense they’ll be hurt.”
“You know that could be a power play.” he says.
He comes on to Lacey.
“You do give excellent advice though.” says Lacey fondly. “Thank you.”
“As a lover. Well…a man who wishes he had been.” he says.
“I know. …Hopefully as a sincere friend.” says Lacey.
He cries. They sit on the cave.
“Those tears are not about me, I hope!” says Lacey.
“They are slightly. …They’re also about the misery of the world at the moment.” he says. “Especially what I’ve caused.”
“These caves really were vile. …Beautiful but vile.” says Lacey. “Right?!”
He thinks. “Yes.” he says grimly.
“Is he possessed?” asks Lacey.
“He’s indignant. And self-righteous. And I…think…he misses your genuine concern because it’s too annoying to him to contemplate sincerely.” says Joe. “It’s a very arrogant, spiritually conceited response possibly…but he doesn’t seem to be worried about being deeply hurtful to anyone who thinks he is a bad person in any way.”
“I’m sure some of that is the toxic nature of social media affecting him. But…he’s not seemingly aware of how much he affects people who should still arguably matter to him.” says Lacey.
“I think he has done himself a disservice by claiming to not care what people say to him because he wants to radically love them.” says Joe.
“Because he hasn’t followed through with it?” says Lacey.
“He repeatedly mocks people who don’t have the same views as him and confront him about it. Even respectfully.” says Joe.
“Is he just a con artist?” asks Lacey.
“He acts like one. I hope that’s all.” says Joe.
“I hope so too!” says Lacey.
“There’s nobody left alive for me to date. Is there?” says Lacey.
“It’s going to be very difficult for me to lie.” he says falling backwards and staring up into the night sky. “I don’t think there is. And you were never likely to appreciate the men of today like the men of the past. You just don’t see what the point of half of their meanderings even is.”
“Summertime Sadness, do you think Joe is being mean right now?” asks a witch who often contacts him without him knowing.
“Umm…no.” he seemingly lies.
“Why can’t you handle positive criticism?” asks the witch.
“I feel too much like a failure.” he says.
“Are you a narcissist or do you just lack empathy for yourself?” asks Lacey.
“Yeah. Good question. …I’m not sure. …Can I ask you, why are you so freaked-out by the Irish caves and Halloween?” he asks.
“Because…you do psychic readings of people, but they aren’t really psychic readings but so-called words of knowledge. Except…speaking from experience the voices you hear aren’t all the Holy Spirit necessarily? Like…you’re hearing spiritual voices. And they maybe are all God. But….I’ve seen so many Charismatics get in trouble for not being able to discern the difference and it worries me because Halloween is a potent holiday spiritually for the Illuminati and other people who aren’t Christians but are spiritual. And it just worries me because it’s not a safe religious holiday for you given your spiritual practices.”
“So you’re afraid I’ll accidentally let some spiritual beings?” he asks.
“Yes! Exactly!” says Lacey. “It’s a holiday rife with spiritual symbolism including pumpkins, unfortunately. Like…when I’ve watched ghost hunting shows…I’ve have to be careful for days afterwards. So I don’t watch them. The demonic activity is intense for me afterwards.”
“So…what literally does carving pumpkins do?” he asks.
“Okay. So lighting the pumpkins harkens back to putting out lights for ghosts visiting your house. …So you’re essentially inviting ancestral curses to revisit you potentially? Or you’re inviting dead people who are in Purgatory to visit you and you might actually hear them…if I can?”
“So you…think about that and…I just don’t want to.” he says.
“You might need to though.” says Lacey. “What you do is dangerous spiritually if you don’t have God covering you fully. It’s a war. Not a New Age happy time party.”
“I shouldn’t have assumed I was old enough to date you.“ says Summertime Sadness to Lacey.
“You should be. But…maybe you’re not.” says Lacey. “It’s not hopeless for you though. You’re very young and very popular. You have time.”
“Yeah. I’m just not sure.” he says.
“Your odds are really good!” she says.
“Thanks.” he says.
Lacey smiles kindly.
“Time for bed!!! With me!!” says Lem to Lacey.
“Are you tiring of me?” asks Lacey.
“No!! Joe annoyed me. But no.” he says.
“Then let’s go to bed, pumpkin.” says Lacey, getting silly.