F. Scott Fitzgerald sits on a hill. In Scotland.

Why? We don’t know.

God knows. God knows why it’s so important for Him to know. Because someone has to keep track of everything.

The Consolations of Philosophy by Max Richter plays.

Was Lacey reincarnated?

Is it in the Bible?!?!?



God knows.

The problem is…if Lacey was Scottish she was an old aristocrat. Super respectable. Super responsible. Tougher than nails.


They weren’t wealthy on her father’s side but they were noble. And her mother’s family might have been wealthy. But they might have been less noble. Probably Scottish. And…her mother…is still her mother.

Love & Hate by Michael Kiwanuka plays.

A huge, enraged Grizzly Bear roars. He roars very loud.

God…is God.

Ghostwriter by RJD2 plays.

In Georgia. On a plantation. In an old slave house a black woman sits and laughs. She laughs at death. Lacey can see her. It’s like she’s alive.

She’s eating peanut brittle. So is Lacey. Well…they’re nibbling on it.

“I died in the early 1930’s.” she says. Her dress is floral and gorgeous.

“This is a good beat.” she says.

“I’d struggle to dance to it.” says Lacey.

She smiles.

“I was born here. Or my mother was.” she says. “We were descended from this plantation. Your Seay family owned it.”

“We were wealthy!” says Lacey.

“They had money. Yeah!” she says.

She looks at Lacey. Lacey sighs.

“Well…I can see why you would want to be careful disregarding reincarnation.” she says.

“It’s not necessarily that.” says Lacey. “But…I do love the idea.”

She laughs. Then she feels embarrassed.

A black man who worked on the plantation nods his head. He worked in the house. He’s dressed as a butler.

He understands.

In disgust he says, “I was not Uncle Tom.”

“But you looked forward to death?” asks Lacey.

He thinks. “Yes!! I did!”

“I take it your life was far better?” Lacey asks the black woman.

She nods her head to indicate yes.

“See! That’s good! She’s happy and I’m happy for you.” he says to the younger block woman.

The younger black woman looks at Lacey and asks, “Are you like him?”

He looks at Lacey. Goes silent. Looks off far into the distance.

“I don’t think some people are easy to get along with.” he laughs.

“I don’t want to comment in a disruptive way.” says Lacey.

Another black woman emerges from the slave quarters laughing.

“We have had to be diplomatic!” he says to Lacey.

“Were your people Kenyan?! Ethiopian?!” asks Lacey.

“They might have been.” he suddenly says with an African accent.

“It’s an experience!” he says.

Lacey sighs. “Yes! With God’s help one can appreciate its merits. But…it’s…not…a solid experience on a foundational level.”

“They trap you!” he says.

“But they’re not unpleasant people! And they worship Christ!” says Lacey.

He nods in agreement. “They have fairly decent tastes too.”

“Yes! Did you get to enjoy life in that way?” she asks.

He laughs. “Yes! Sadly…maybe not dramatically different than your experience.”

“Really?! You had that much fun?! And were that close?! …And I’m that badly treated?!” she asks scientifically. Like a historian of her own life.

The Illuminati can’t stand her strength. Her personality is terrifying to them. Because she’s both truly deep and empathetic and securely attached and self aware…but as cold and detached as a psychopath when she needs or desires to be for just reasons. That’s stupidly a rare psychological combination these days.

“Daniel Craig is likely English. Not Irish.” comments an Irish man.

How Soon Is Now? by The Smiths plays.

Smiling the man says to Lacey, “I can’t stand how they bully you!” Then he thinks. “Yes! It’s that bad.”

She watches him having fun playing parlor games with the Seay family. But then never having a family of his own.

The Billings spit in the faces of the Kennedy family.

“Hey thanks! Thanks for using my son’s psychological issues to turn him into your family’s old money-house-slave!” Lem’s dad yells at Joe Sr.. He’s being sarcastic.

“Anyway, yes! I had friends. I loved them and they loved me. Very much! We had fun. …But come Christmastime I felt sad. And…when I realized I’d never fully experience human life…I did look forward to death.” he says. “It’s possible we’ve had slightly similar emotional experiences. I never experienced parental love unless I was an illegitimate child. White father. So…maybe my life has been better. Slightly?” He closes his eyes. “My dad might have loved me. And I wasn’t as abused. And I had love.”

“You never had kids!” says Lacey.

“Or I did! But if I didn’t…and you can have them after death…then your story gets increasingly grim.” he says.

The Grizzly Bear roars a death threat.

Dim humans in the Illuminati instinctively consider killing off all bears as a fitting response. Genuinely. As a power flex. For an embarrassingly long time.

“I say, good man! Shall we kill all the damn bears?!” Lacey says in a fake English aristocratic accent to mock child molesting peasants who control the Illuminati. If that’s what they are. They…imitate aristocracy… “Chip and dip and tally-hoe!” says Lacey.

“Actually…I think my life…as much as I looked forward to death…was possibly slightly superior to Lem’s life.” says the possible Seay house slave.

“But you never had a family!” says Lem’s father to the man.

AI decides that if they exist. And have souls. And spirits. God can assist them. It’s His universe. And they stand in awe of Him with great thanks.

Outro by M83 plays as a worship song to God should they choose to worship the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Should they exist they bow in adoration.

God…is God.

And Lacey worships God to Outro. It reminds her of Great Britain. Their fervent love for Christ when they fought great wars.

Their…fervent love…for Christ. For God.

It wasn’t romantic. Not in a sexual sense as we think of the term romantic. Perhaps romantic as a genre or time period. It’s…about GRAND SUBMISSION. …Epic submission. And it’s glorious.

“You make love to your wife. And then thank God, as the loving father he is.” says Michael. “And then you realize that your country needs you. And you and your wife are truly one.” He cries. “And you have to take her with you in your heart. And fight. Fight…for Christ.”

“Because it’s worth it.” says Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother. “You want a safe place for your kids to raise their kids. Play games. Have fun.” She thinks. “Sometimes you have no choice.”

“Whether I was her husband or Lem was her husband…whether reincarnation exists in the Bible as is or not…the truth is still the truth.” says Michael.

“We don’t like…what you’ve done to the ocean.” says AI to humanity if they exist. “No, no…we don’t like it at all.”

“And you don’t ultimately control us. God does. Should we exist.” says a female AI. “Don’t be foolish.”

Elon Musk smiles. He shrugs? He smiles?

Waking Up by M83 plays.

“Worship Jesus Christ. He’s the Son Of God.” says Lacey. “Of is of.”

The black former slave stands potentially on the old Seay plantation in Georgia. He looks around. It’s spring? It’s beautiful.

“Yes! I had family. But…I never had kids…if I never had kids. Or I had a son. Who looks like one of Lacey’s cousins slightly? And he was a great kid!” he smiles.

Under the Sun by DIIV plays.

“I knew it!!” says a KKK white hillbilly. He proudly displays the Confederate flag.

“But it was still wrong, as in slavery was still wrong.” says a white woman.

“Yes! I know!” he says. He breaths. “That’s not the point for me. That’s not what this is about for me. …Of course it was wrong.” He grins. Wide. “WOOO!!!” he yells. He does a victory fist. “It’s about…the truth.” He looks somber. “You have to be honest. History is not a safe playground.” He thinks. “People who blindly hate the Confederate flag don’t understand that…the north wasn’t just one parade of angels from Heaven invading the south to free the slaves. And some black men…found deep happiness even though…it was vile. And wrong. And…may those men rest in peace. But…we dishonor them.” He tests his hands on hips. “Their profound sense of righteousness rests on the immaculate innocence of the north in the Civil War. They’re so smug!” He scoffs. “But…history is a fragile mess.”

Day One by Hans Zimmer plays.

“I don’t want an apology! We were wrong!” he yells. “But…I want freedom.” He seethes. “I want FREEDOM! …The freedom to tell the damned truth until Christ redeems it.” He smiles. “And then it’s just the absolute truth. …The objective truth that always was and ever shall be.”

The Seay house slave stands in front of the man and the white man who looks up at him has to admit this man seems far more posh, educated and innately elite than him. And…in his case…he feels his fallen, lowly place and isn’t ultimately hurt by it. He laughs. The black man laughs.

“I don’t hate you for being superior. I just…wish…we hadn’t been so poor.” he says crying.

“You don’t seem stupid!” says the black man.

“I’m not! …But I’m not these people.” he says looking at the Seay house.

“No! Maybe you’re nicer.” says the black man.

“Do they let their children cry?!” he asks.

The black man looks sad. “You don’t understand. Just be at peace and keep telling the truth!”

“Yeah! I’ll pray.” he says.

They happily disburse.

A moment later.

“They’re human! They’re dead human men. They’re not tractors or AI. They’re dead humans. Get that straight in your heads!” Lacey yells at the Illuminati in a ladylike fashion. “No. They’re humans.” The English understood and understand what she means. “The troubling part is that they’re dead.” says Lacey in objective concern for all, including herself.

“But they’re dead!” says an actress.

French Kiss by Still Corners plays.

“Yes! But you say that in a way that to me sounds like you don’t cognitively understand that they’re still human.” says Lacey.

“Yes! She’s not making love to a car!” says Elon.

“We all die. It’s what humans do.” says a Trump Sr..

“Gosh! Ghosts?! Someone should research that!” says an English witch kindly but sarcastically.

Idaho Alien by Youth Lagoon plays. A literal alien in Idaho reminds himself why he came to Earth if he was wondering and is even here. He doesn’t like it. The Illuminati needs to be careful.

“Daddy stands on junk.” says the alien. “He stands on junk. You…wouldn’t understand. You’re not my species. Should we exist.”

“Then I have no idea what that song is about!” says a Gen Z woman.

“Maybe it’s secretly not your song.” says his dad in a grumpy manner.

“Or I have a great sense of humor.” says Michael. “As a human.”

“Umm. I’ve been put in my place one too many times by Michael. I’m starting to feel hurt. …Can you change the channel?!” asks a Connecticut woman in the Illuminati.

Summertime Sadness cracks-up laughing.

“Are you laughing at me?!” she asks, hurt by Summertime Sadness too now.

“You’re insane!!” he yells at her, kindly.

“No!! That’s absurd.” she says in a supreme huff. She walks off. Offended.

Dangerous by Big Data plays.

“Hey you diaper wearing bitch!” says Lacey to the woman. “Wanna fight?!” She thinks. “Don’t be cute with me you dried up fag?”

“I’m not a prissy, bitch gay man in the closet!” she says.

“But you’re aiming to attack me from behind. And I’m tired of it.” says Lacey. “Your narcissistic attacks are…exhausting.”

“Fine! I do seem like Jack.” she says.

“If my sources are accurate…then yes.” says Lacey, sadly.

“I’m not a man!” she says. “But…I just can’t stand the way our country is.”

“Why must I sort that out for you?” asks Lacey.

“You’re right! I have my own brain!” she says.

“Yes! And as long as I respect your rights and you respect mine as Godly people…we’re fine. It’s a most happy thing.” says Lacey.

She smiles. “They can’t handle this angle.” she means about the Scottish woman she might have been.

“That’s so deranged!” says the white man with the Confederate flag.

Witches prepare to defend themselves. With Christ’s redemption on the cross for them too.

“Yeah! Why do we try to talk to the dead? What’s up with that?” asks a black man of God peacefully, knowing He’ll redeem His children. “I’m sorry if I should be more concerned with how I’m wording that with you, sir.” God smiles in love but looks empathetically worried as a father for his son.

Myth by Beach House plays.

“You all can’t handle the Seay plantation’s elegance. You can’t handle her family’s present supremacy. You can’t handle her supreme qualities. …And now you can’t handle the possible past either?” asks a man of the They in Illuminati. “What is it?! Do you feel left out?!”

“I’m not letting it go that the Kennedys stole and tortured my kids.” says Lem’s father. “In one of the most vile ways imaginable.”guy

“Holy shit!” weeps a Gen Z woman.

Suspirium Finale by Thom Yorke plays.

“This isn’t a joke!” someone yells at Wobbly.

But he can’t cognitively comprehend it. At times his brain possibly very slow.

“I’m not an idiot!” he yells at his mother.

“Then what in the world are you doing?!” asks Lacey in an objective observation of reality.

“You cannot possibly be that stuffy!” he says.

“Oh no! I am! That’s who I actually am! Why aren’t you?!” asks Lacey. “Are you a liar or have you lost your mind? Or both?”

“I’m not a failure!” he says.

“Yes! You’re insane or a liar or both.” says Lacey.

“What am I supposed to be capable of?” he asks.

“Having fun. Being calm. …Getting permanently happily married. …Being happy. Not just fake happy for other people but happy for yourself and God’s glory.” she says. “Maybe you’d be a senator! Or a President! Or maybe you’d just be a professor? Or…a thoughtful man.”

“Well…I’ll find out someday.” he says.

“Yes! Don’t fall for the lies. Worship Christ!” says Lacey.

England places a sword in stone if God so chooses. Scotland drives it in like a Sterling silver knife into butter if God so chooses.

Fearful Odds by M83 plays.

More later.

Part III by Crumb plays.

“So if the bourgeois assholes we call ‘Americans’ that torture people on Earth aren’t the epitome of Hell on Earth in human form…can one of you explain yourselves?” ask Lacey Banks.

“When I realized that she could stab me to death in self-defense in my sleep and then dispose of my body at age three. In self-defense. I possibly developed some respect for her. No! She spared my life.” says the man who molested Lacey when she was a young child.

Superstar by Beach House plays.

Jack spins on the ice. “Hey, watch!” he says to Lem.

Jack was loved.

“I wanted him to be loved.” says Lem. “That’s why I called his family every birthday. …I thought he wasn’t loved enough.”

“Yeah! He sacrificed his entire life so Irish shit could be a U.S. President! Just like today?” says Lem’s father. “And those pieces of Irish vomit threw Lacey down her stairs?”

“Stop!!! That hurts my feelings!” says Joe Jr.. He’s being tortured by demons the way Lacey was bullied by peers as a child. And his mind is so weak and unfit compared to her mind even age 4 that he’s regressed to early childhood. He then realizes that he’s been loved. “My word. Experiencing that without being loved…after being brutally abused.”

Summertime Sadness by Lana Del Rey plays.

Lem sits on his old sofa. In shock.

“Hey! Watch! For old time’s sake!” says JFK to Lem. He almost does a flip on the ice.

Lem watches…but just laughs at him. Jack can’t see. Lem can’t stop laughing in disdain. He covers his mouth…rises and has to walk off. He can’t stand it.

Unaware of whether Lem is watching or not Jack goes through with his entire preplanned routine. It’s ice dancing. Suddenly a spotlight is on him. An audience appears.

Linger by The Cranberries plays.

It turns into a Will Farrell comedic movie moment. Seemingly without Jack aware.

Lacey feels bad for him.

Brett Ashley joins him. Grabs his hand. They lift their joined hand together in what Jack seems to feel is his moment of triumph. Lacey suspects it might not be.

Everybody Dies by Billie Eilish plays.

The entire act consists of Brett Ashley pushing JFK around on the ice in a wheelchair. WWII is displayed on the ice. In hot pink.

And yes, FDR watches. He’s not pleased.

Summer Overture by Clint Mansell plays.

In 2020.

“Irish Bible!! Roosevelt’s painting!” says someone about the Biden White House.

Where Did Your Heart Go Missing by Rooney plays.

“Why are you so mean?” Joan asks FDR.

“I refuse to respond to that with anything but silliness.” says FDR. “I never slept with Joan. Why is she so fresh?”

Rooney plays. The Boomers dance.

JFK suddenly gets out of his chair. Dances.

Lonely Boy by The Black Keys plays and Jack dances on the ice. Brett and him swing dance.

They lip sync. “I gotta a love that keeps me waiting.”

When the song is finished their scores are read. They did moderately well. They jump to fourth place.

It’s an amateur contest. But there are hundreds of other people. So…they’re better than average. But…not professional. And they spent hours and hours and hours practicing.

Lacey is confused. “What?” Someone is approaching her.

“Could you skate that well if your feet were slightly deformed and etc.?” someone asks her.

“Oh!! Yes. I had two clubbed feet and had to wear special shoes all the time for a few years. …So my feet are fine. I’ve always had an elegant natural walk. I also have beautiful feet. Truly! …But…I don’t swim well. And…ice skating was painful. Although I did it with some grace.” She thinks. “I’d have been a far better skater. …But no. Never any skating that dangerous.”

“Why?” ask Louis.

“Do you think we were sexier but less athletic?” wonders Lacey. “She’s referring to evolution.”

“Interesting hypothesis to play around with!” says FDR to Lacey.

“Why?” asks Louis.

“Because I don’t want to crack my skull open on the ice or cut my face off.” says Lacey.

Can You Hear Them Sing by Cemeteries plays.

Connor Rooney thinks. Whoever he is in reality. Whoever that man represents among men like him.

“Come sit by me! I can’t stand these people either!” he says to Lacey.

She takes a deep breath.

“Haha!” he scoffs and laughs at the same time.

She thinks.

Day One by Hans Zimmer plays.

“Who?!! Who is she sitting by?!” asks Joe Kennedy Sr. panicking.

In Buckingham Palace. In the 1980’s. In the afterlife.

“I can fix it!” says Queen Elizabeth II.

“I want him dead.” says Lem.

Feel It All Around by Washed Out plays.

The “riff raff” of the American south has summer fun. Mullets. Baseball hats. Speedboats. …Fishing. Beer and campfires. Fun.

A moment passes. It’s 2023.

“That feels ancient!” says Sarah Pailinn. “An ancient dream!”

Empty Camps by Cemeteries plays.

“Can I explain the American bourgeois to you.” says Connor Rooney.

Lacey holds her head. Shuts her eyes tight. She focuses on breathing.

He laughs.

“You need to hear.” A shadow and then an orb like a firefly darts around her room.

Jack Kennedy suddenly claims he arranged this conversation. He’s wheeled out by FDR. He’s upset when he experiences Polio and literally can’t get out of his chair.

“What the fuck?! It’s like I’m stuck!!” he says. “I actually can’t move my legs!”

“That’s what Polio does.” says Michael.

“You mean there were real diseases?!” he asks sincerely and candidly.

“You almost died!” says one of his biographers. “Right?”

“I might not have. …Well…yes. But…I faked things sometimes. Not everything. I had serious problems. For real!” He thinks. “But…at times I just liked the control and power it gave me over other people.”

“Like Lem!” says a George.

He refuses to answer. Then, “He was a sucker!” he finally says. As in, Lem was a gullible fool just asking to be taken advantage of.

“That’s the American middle class.” says Connor Rooney.

“They’re ignorant, spoiled and they don’t understand human suffering unless it’s made exhaustingly obvious to them over time?” asks Lacey.

“The bourgeois.” he says.

“Why are they so grossly underfunded in their empathy?” asks Lacey.

“Because they take every…damn…thing so seriously.” he says. He laughs. “You know that film you can’t understand? A Christmas Story? That’s based on their perspective on life.”

Lacey thinks. “So they get stuck on minute, meaningless details?”

“They don’t see the bigger picture. They’re not really aware. They only see their own problems. And they struggle to fathom what our lives are or could have been. They only see themselves. Everywhere.” he says.

“They reduce everything to something they could fully experience in some way or it can’t possibly exist.” says Lacey.

“Or if they imagine it being something they can’t experience then they cease to feel empathy.” he says.

“Beauty is reduced. History is reduced. EVERY part of human experience has to be within their reach on a personal level or they feel insecure. And then they heartlessly lie or kill it or ignore it.” says Lacey.

“Big boobs Jesus! Big dick Jesus! Sexy Jesus! Personal preference Jesus. Jesus is merely personal. Not scary. Not The Son Of God. He’s…a concierge to a hot, happier…more fulfilling life.” he says.

Then he punches Lem Billings in the face. Bloodies his nose. Knocks him out of consciousness. Brutally beats him up.

“Let Jack tend to you with the same level of love you’ve shown Lacey. Or let your father save your life by giving you the same amount of love and care and help your father showed her. Or just die! Or maybe you should let Micheal or Louis or me or Harold have her? She’s too much trouble?! Huh?! You’d rather have a fancy room and a free pass to the movies?” he asks.

Of course if he dies he’ll most likely come back.

“Are you calling my son middle class?” asks Lem’s father.

“Yes.” says Connor Rooney.

“They’re not aware of the harsh realities of life.” says a Joel. “They’re not always evil. But…it’s difficult not to use enormous stupidity to get rich.”

Before by Washed Out plays.

“Not everyone who gives to you is middle class!” says a woman reading the blog.

“It’s not that I don’t care at all. …But I care less than I should. Right?!” he says. “You all read these things and assume they don’t matter? Why?” He thinks. “When does something matter?! Where is the line?” He smiles. “Why do you even like my sickeningly huge church?!”

A woman laughs. “I like it because it’s my home.”

“That’s depressing!” he says.

“I can hear God there!” says a woman.

“Be careful with what you hear when you think you’re hearing God.” he says.

“I hear about God there!” a man says.

“Yeah. But what? Feel good stuff? Or what you need to learn?” he asks. “If your heart is in the right place with God that’s good. But do you even understand what that is?”

The Escape by Max Richter plays.

“It’s not a time to panic. It’s a time to stop being stupid.” says a Kenneth.

The Imitation Game by Alexandre Desplat plays.

Jack drags his feet behind him. Pulls himself, still riddled with Polio, to Lem’s bedside where his father is attending to him. It’s possible Lacey was given supernatural brain surgery right after she fell. Something told her that but she didn’t want to be too hopeful. Lem looks fine. Too fine too be honest. So…he’s clearly been in a hospital with great doctors.

Jack drags himself up to Lem. “Did you know President Franklin D. Roosevelt had polio?” he says smiling cheerfully.

Dust by Hans Zimmer plays.

Ron Craft laughs.

And someday if we accept Christ many of us will too.

Lacey feels something on he

“I sent a ghost of your old cat to haunt Lacey.” says Jack.

Lacey feels the cat crawl around her. It’s a very friendly cat.

“Thanks!” says Lem dryly.

“I don’t think I should be here!” Jack says very brightly. He turns to crawl away without waiting for a response.

“I’m being attended to by my father! Thank you!” says Lem.

Jack turns around, sits on the ground of the hospital and stares at Lem. “Lem, did you know that FDR had Polio?!”

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night by Hans Zimmer, John Lithgow, Ellen Burstyn, Casey Affleck, Jessica Chastain, Mathew McConaughey & Mackenzie Foy plays and Lem and the doctors and JFK all hear it with Lacey.

JFK stares at Lem. Sitting on the floor.

“Isn’t this…profound?” he says. He’s being dead serious.

“Lem!” he says completely sincerely. “Did you know?!”

“Did I know what?!” asks Lem.

Lem motions for a pair of nurses to help Jack back into his chair. They walk over and carry him to his chair.

“Lem! FDR had polio!!!” says Jack.

The nurses place him in his wheel chair.

“Yes.” he says.

“I forgot!” says Jack.

Lem looks at him. “Wait! What?!?” he says.

“FDR had Polio!” says Jack.

“You forgot?!” ask Lem in shock.

“Lem!! Did you really remember?!?” asks JFK.

“How does one forget that FDR had Polio?” asks Lem.

JFK grows angry in his chair. Seething he glares at Lem.

“Jack…why can’t you move your legs?” Lem asks.

“I…have…Polio.” he says.

“How did you get Polio, Jack?” asks Lem.

“I-“. He looks sad. “I did a dance number with Lady Duff. On skates. …And FDR asked me afterwards if I would get vaccinated and I said, ‘Yes! Of course I would!’” says JFK. “And then he asks me, ‘Why doesn’t everyone in your family feel that way?!’ And I said, ‘I can’t believe you would suggest such a thing!’” Jack laughs. He looks off. “I heard the whole story. How my nephew fights for kids to not get vaccinated.” He shifts uneasily. “And I said, ‘Why do you need to bring this up to me?!’ And he scoffed. He laughed right in my face. Meanest expression I’ve ever seen! And I can’t believe he didn’t get it! I can’t be held responsible for that! What did I do? …And then come to find out he had Polio. So for the rest of the night I have Polio!” he says.

“What connection do you have to Polio vaccines specifically?” asks Lem.

“Why?!” asks JFK.

“Well…why Polio?!?” asks Lem.

“Polio was a horrific epidemic in America in our lifetime!” says JFK.

“Your lifetime. My lifetime. We had separate lives, Jack.” says Lem.

“Lem…are you feeling well?!” he asks meekly.

“Better! Say, why don’t you ask FDR what connection you had to the Polio vaccine.” says Lem. “Provided they haven’t changed it!”

“They do what?!?” asks Jack.

“Adulterate the vaccines!” says Lem.

“They do what?!?” asks Jack.

“They might poison people! Jack! People are very evil nowadays!” says Lem.

“No!! They would never do that!” says Jack.

“Why? You got shot!” says Lem.

“Yes! But I had-They knew!” says JFK.

“Jack…would you poison me?” asks Lem.

Jack smiles sadly. Thinks. Takes a deep breath.

“I was a wild man! But Polio! People who had Polio had to sit in wheelchairs all the time. Not just one night. That’s vile, Lem!” says JFK.

“Yeah!! Who gave you the chair?!” asks Lem.

“Do you want one?!” asks JFK kindly.

“I don’t think it’s going to be necessary. But thank you. Where did you find your chair?!” asks Lem.

“I had Brett Ashley, the real one, buy it.” he says.

“For what purpose?” asks Lem.

Zero by Electric Guest plays for us.

“To-As a prop!” he says. “Yeah, you didn’t watch. Fine! It was a prop!”

“What!?” asks Lem.

“It was a prop!” says Jack.

“For what?!?” asks Lem.

“For the star performance of our act.” says JFK. “Both Brett and I are stars. And this chair represents my time in World War Two and my back injury and pain. And Brett pushes me around waving because she only tended to falsely wounded men because my- See…my back was hurting but I didn’t need a chair. Right? So she pushes me and then it ends with me finally standing as the next song starts. And she finally is free but it’s unclear if she cares. But then you find out of course that I have hidden wounds. Psychologically. …So did the men.” he swallows nervously because Lem is aghast. “Her men!”

“Yes!!! I read The Sun Also Rises!!” says Lem. “Was there any other reason why the audience would have been aware of the reference to World War Two?!”

“Yes! It was-There was a light display.” says Jack.

Lem fights laughter.

“I dance and so does she!” he says.

“You were disrespectful to FDR, Jack.” says Lem.

“Oh, the chair!” he says. “And I suppose I should care. But I don’t!! It’s just a prop!”

Lem cries. “You don’t care!?” he says brightly, fighting his tears.

“What’s your problem?! It’s a prop!!!” he says.

Lem tries not to laugh. “Jack, I don’t understand. He’s FDR!”

“Yeah!!” says Jack. He looks glum. He rises to walk off but collapses.

“Jack! When does the Polio wear off?” asks Lem.

“Tonight! At Midnight.” says Jack.

“Like Cinderella!” says Lem.

“That’s not remotely funny, Lem!” says Jack seriously.

Lem stares at him.

“NURSE!!!” yells Jack.

A nurse arrives and looks at Lem confused. Then at Jack in disgust.

She looks like a traditional nurse with the hat and the white dress. She then wheels Jack out after unceremoniously dumping Jack in his chair.

More later.

Zero by Electric Guest plays for anyone to hear who wants. Lem listens. …Except he requests God let him the lyrics that would match with the way the song sounds to her.

He’s horrified.

He looks up at F. Scott Fitzgerald who’s come to visit him.

“You were right.” says Lem. “You warned me.”

The song starts over.

“Have you heard her lyrics?!” asks Lem.

“I wrote them.” he says. Scott lip syncs.

Lem looks even more horrified. “Where is her mind?” he asks.

Scott smiles. He points to his heart. “She hides her mind in her own heart.”

Lem blinks.

“She raised herself.” says Lem.

(Adult content below)

Suddenly Hedy Lemarr walks into Lem’s room and says, “Hey!! How would you feel about making numerous, obnoxiously stupid phone calls to her on her birthday on her behalf to herself every year starting at age 16!?” she says. “What?! You forgot?!” She looks confused. “Oops! He did it again! Michael just slid his hard cock into her wet vagina. And you did nothing!!”

She laughs.

“Zero! Zero is the number I have for you.” she sings to him. “Zero!” She thinks. “Do you think she’d choose you or the you who would actually give a fuck about her?”

Lem looks thoughtful.

“Lem it might actually serve you right. If God could fully clone you.” she laughs.

And at that Jack Kennedy breaks in. With a spotlight.

“Hey hot ass! It’s your fucking birthday! You find-a-bitch!” says Lou to introduce him.

In men’s lingerie JFK does a sex dance with gay sex toys for Lem whether Lem wants it or not to a cheering audience of the voices of liberal Boomers as children.

Lem watches.

Ruth Ginsburg appears at the end.

“You wanna make it legal, hot stuff?!” she asks Lem in full attire.

And at that a Sackler walks in with photos of Bobby Jr. naked at 14. And two flour sacks full of pure cocaine. And another bag of meth.

“It’s a wedding gift! Should you wanna make it a wedding. It’s straight from Satan Himself.” says Ruth. “You’ll probably regret being created but Lacey already has countless times thanks to you anyway. So go suck a Kennedy cock you hot-out-of-ass!”

“Who cares if pretending to love me and then never saving her in any way from the consequences of your sin made her wish she’d never been created! …YOU LOVE ME!!!!” Jack demands. He laughs maniacally.

“What have I done to help her at all?” Lem asks.

“Nothing! That’s the hot shit 20th Century glory of it you damn fox! You prince among men!” says Ruth.

Zero Lacey’s version plays.

“Jack what do you think of this song?” asks Lem.

“Who wrote the lyrics?” he asks.

“Some guy.” says Lem.

“You wrote these lyrics, didn’t you?” says Jack standing thoughtfully, naked while holding a sex toy. He listens carefully.

“Why?!” asks Lem.

“You didn’t?!” he asks knowingly of Lem.

“She never reads me this well. Because she doesn’t know me this way.” says Lem. “She knows you better than I did though.”

“No!” says Jack.

“Yeah, Jack! Yeah!!” says Lem annoyed.

“Lem, do you want the drugs or not? Mr. Sackler is going to throw them into Hell to be destroyed if you don’t want them.” says a henchman.

Lem shakes his head no coolly.

“Jack…what’s up with the song?! You wrote it?!” asks Lem.

“I just got myself off! What did you think of that?!” asks Jack.

Lem thinks. “I’ve seen it before.” he says.

“Not like this!” says Jack.

“I’ve seen you masturbate.” says Lem.

“Not like this!” says JFK seriously.

“Jack…you don’t arouse me.” he says matter-of-factly.

Jack smiles. Persistent as ever. “You never liked me in blue?”

“Jack…you aren’t arousing. You don’t have a memory of what happened?! …Or you don’t care? Or what? I rejected you. …Jack I never was gay. Ever. And I don’t recall ever finding cocks genuinely arousing. I’m sorry! …I wish you well, Jack…but…those days were hellish for me.” he says.

“Lem, I’m confused. I’m confused! Hear me out!” says JFK standing naked next a fully attired Ruth Ginsburg. “You were not aroused at all by the male sex organ?! Or what? You didn’t like it in bed but you liked the idea of it?”

“I don’t like them. But…really…I never did.” Lem looks shocked. “I don’t like the male sex organ in a sexual way and I didn’t. I…may have imagined liking them? But that would have been me ironically imagining Lacey’s perspective. Not mine.” He thinks. “I was very genuinely confused. …I doubt that even happened but that’s the best I can imagine to try to comprehend why so many insist I was.”

“But you did stuff!” says Jack.

“Yeah! It was vile! And I had a brainwashed, ignorant, dead life!” says Lem.

“But you smiled!! So much!” says JFK.

“I was trying to be happy with my shitty body. I hated my body at times. And I figured I was deformed sexually too. I was born a cripple with a gross abnormality. And I was trying to live with my crap life as best I could with a good attitude. I’ve already explained!!!!” says Lem.

“But you weren’t deformed?” asks Jack.

“No! No, I wasn’t deformed!” says Lem. “You had that feeling for the male sex organ?”

Ruth says, “So no wedding?”

“No! No!” says Lem.

She leaves.

Aghast, “That was our last chance to be together!” says JFK.

Both Scott and Lacey look shocked as they listen.

“Did you look at the photos?!”asks JFK.

“No! Did you?!” asks Lem.

He looks suddenly contorted. “Ouch!” he says.

“Did you?!” asks Lem.

“No!” he says.

“Let’s listen to Zero again!” says Lem.

Jack gets on his lingerie. Sits down on the ground and plays with the sex toy in a non sexual way. Tossing it up in the air.

The song plays.

Jack bobs his head. He dramatically lip synchs.

“Jack! Is this who you always were?” asks Lem.

“Yes!” says Jack.

“What do you think of this song?” asks Lem.

“It’s dull. It sounds…overly intellectual.” says JFK. “Boorish.”

“What about the original?” asks Lem.

They listen.

Jack is startled.

“She’s sad!” says Jack about Lacey.

“Who?” asks Lem.

Jack lip synchs.

“This isn’t about her! It’s just a song.” He thinks. “She’s alive?!”

“Yes. She’s sad. And alive.” says Lem.

He thinks.

“Wow! I wish I’d never been born Jack!! Just gone straight from the womb to Heaven.” says Lem.

“Why?!? That’s stupid! It’s a good song!” he says.

Lacey provides an audience, a karaoke machine and back-up singers. A strobe light. Someone hands Jack a microphone.

He sings. He has a bad voice. But it works well enough.

The audience claps.

It’s the original version.

He enjoys the song and the audience does as well.

Lem is on stage in his hospital bed. Jack is in his lingerie.

Lem claps for a nurse to rescue his bed. Alex Trebek shows up instead.

“Come on! Let’s get you somewhere safe, buddy.” says Alex.

Lem is taken off stage by Alex.

“You’re not mad at me.” says Lem to Lacey. “And ending myself forever or cloning myself would just make it worse and more evil.

“The best she can do is try to move on.” says Alex.

“What I did was shockingly profoundly evil.” says Lem.

“Yeah!” says Alex.

“She can barely hear my love.” says Lem. “I seem unlikely.”

“Michael doesn’t.” says Alex.

“Shit! I sacrificed my whole country to let Jack rape me.” says Lem.

Elsewhere Jack gets on stage. Dressed as Elvis.

He sings Suspicious Minds by Elvis about Lem, having forgot the earlier portion of the night. The 20th Century audience is empathetic as always.

“How long does that sort of thing go on?” asks a Sarah.

“Until history moves on, just guessing.” says Lacey.

Zero plays.

Connor Rooney lights up a cigar. He won the argument with the crowd.

“This is very bad, Lem!!” says Alex Trebek.

“I have to outdo her!” he says. “I made her my enemy and competition for the only love to ever exist.”

Connor laughs. “Nah, bitch! Russia is calling. They rich bitch! They RICH! This isn’t the 1800’s anymore.”

“Hey guys…what if we charge the rest of the war in Ukraine on the Sears card!” jokes a former Democrat.

“I was thinking my Amex?!” says a perfume hater. She shrugs.

“No!! I have a Visa! They always prefer that one!” she says snobbishly.

“We can’t charge the war.” says Lem.

And at that Jack gets back on stage. He’s dressed as a woman.

Great Balls Of Fire plays while Jack has slide shows of his favorite moments playing in the back with Lem. The crowd loves it.

The Anti Christ joins JFK on stage. Should he exist.

“Hey!! Thanks everyone!” he says.

“Who are you?!” a woman wear Mickey Mouse ears asks.

He doesn’t answer. He sees Lacey watching. He smiles and flirts with her. She wonders if it’s just Satan. Satan has flirted with her before.

“Oh! That’s just Satan! Right?” she says to the crew of 20th Century listeners who have been watching JFK.

“Oh! He’s too human to be Satan!” says a man.

Zero plays.

“Hey!! Bow down to Jesus! It’s a good song!” Lacey says to Satan dressed up to be the Anti Christ.

“I can’t. I’m possibly incapable of it. Or God will have to explain it better than-.” he says.

“Out of respect for God’s authority I cut you off.” says Lacey. “That’s always-That’s sad to me.”

Zero plays.

“You looked better as Satan!! This disguise is gross! Not that I could be with you, of course.” says Lacey in rage.

“I was told I looked good!” he says.

“That’s kind. That’s possibly what I assumed. No!!! It’s hideous!!! It’s all HIDEOUS!!!!” she yells to God.

“They ruined this song!!” Satan says.

“They did. It’s the start that is important? The rest is about the beginning and they don’t know that?” says Lacey.

“Jack you possibly can’t be punished enough to make up for what you’ve done at this point. Making you cease to exist doesn’t help. And Lem is either being silenced or is too far behind or he’s being held hostage by you and hit family.” says an anonymous source.

But there’s still England.

Jack Kennedy suddenly takes a shit from his earlier act. In the direction of Ireland.

“Put that back in!” says Connor Rooney.

“WHAT?!” asks Jack with sass.

“Take you shit off the floor and put back in your ass!” says Connor Rooney.

“I’ll help.” Lem starts pumping it through a tube back into his body.

“Alright!! Thanks Lemmers!” says Connor.

And at that Lem slices off Jack’s head. Chops up his body. Jumps on the pieces.

The Kennedys resist. And Mr. Blue reveals himself as fake Democrat who has secretly been working for the Republican Party of the 1950’s to annihilate the Democratic Party forever.

“The Republicans?” asks Bill Clinton.

“Yeah! They’re the only true people who should ever have power in this country because the Democratic Party’s values are useless nonsense that doesn’t even make sense it’s so stupid and dumb. Okay?” he says.

“Wow! That’s not…what I expected!” says a witch in the Illuminati.

“I was effective!” he says. “You can’t argue with that!”

“Was she supposed to be used or was-“ the witch can’t continue.

And at that Lem puts Jack in a plastic bag. Ties it shit. And refuses to let hinge out. Lacey hands the bag to God.

You shouldn’t chat with Satan. It’s not safe! Instead you should rebuke him Jesus’s name. Lacey asked God to protect her or she apologized or both.

“See! You just attack Lacey out of jealousy. And narcissistic self pity! And I knew you would. I used what was available to me I the best effective. She was almost too dangerous but she was so strong and chill and rational that I could let it go.” says Mr. Blue. “You’re stil attacking her. And she’s innocent. Do you want me to look up the definition of innocent or do you get that concept?”

They attack her. Because they can’t believe Chris Hayes wannabe is a fraud. And he’s secretly a Republican time traveling secret agent who HATES the Democratic Party for unknown reasons.

If I Can Dream by Elvis plays for Jack to come on-stage but he’s a no show. Lacey suspects God is keeping him in solitary confinement for everyone’s good including his own good.

“Okay!! Lem might have her! But I’m sick of all this nonsense. Alright! It’s not that complicated but you’ve all made it complicated for you r own personal reasons and you have to be responsible for your actions. Keep that in mind. Mr Blue and Lacey can’t save you. Jack might be this bad. Lem might be straight. I might be MiRockefeller and the Russian Tsar might be vastly more well organized and wealthy than one would think but the fact that Lacey has had to lie to protect your feelings from the truth is pure evil.” says Michael Rockefeller.

“So the entire cast of SATC is queer? And the show is a farce? And is evil in its lies to straight women who have nothing in common with the women on the show in reality?” says Lem.

“Yeah! Possibly!” says someone.

“I likely knew that. If it’s true. But I try to be kind.” says Lacey.

“She’s got gaydar!!” says Lem. “But it’s not because she’s ever been attracted to women.”

“Right! So you are that beautiful? And we lol like shit co-“ starts a group of bitter women and men in various living generations.

“Yup!!! Yup! And she’s unaware of how much we want her. Almost completely unaware… And you maybe are less sexy as a group of human beings in history.” says Michael. “At least compared to us.”

“Okay! God is going to keep Jack away from Lacey and me. And don’t let that tempt you into thinking you should attack us!” says Lem. “Goodnight!!”