The Weather

No Time For Caution by Hans Zimmer plays.

This morning Lacey woke up to a conversation with an Illuminati witch. …And it seems the main takeaway was that Lacey is not the upper-class person people expect in the U.S. or elsewhere anymore.

Meanwhile Michael rides in a Jeep to an oil rig on Lacey’s land. He watches it by sunrise.

“Lacey are you partying with demons?” asks a witch.

“Oh, you mean…by talking with the dead?” asks Lacey.

She sighs. “How do handle that conundrum without being harassed by it?”

“I have to. And I am harassed by it constantly.” says Lacey. “Well…I may or may not have to. But…these dead people feel like my support system now. For the purposes of survival.”

“With us attacking you.” says the witch.

“You have all this money but no support system?!” asks Summertime Sadness.

Lacey fights to control her rage. “It’s not quite that black and white. …But at 40 I have…a lot of loneliness. How about that as an explanation?”

“That’s impossible for anyone in a higher class to have.” he says subconsciously. “Everyone is love by someone! You’re lying! …And that’s how I know you’re evil!”

Lacey is to enraged to explain. Too emotionally drained. So she just stares at him blankly. Then she smiles kindly and ends the conversation. Prays for him to the God of the Bible.

“The rich can’t possibly control themselves that much! …Do they??” asks a Tik Tok fan.

“That’s the problem. “The rich” are not necessarily the upper class.” says F. Scott Fitzgerald. “Ask Lacey more investigative questions than accusatory ones. If you’re curious.”

“What does your day look like?” asks a perfume hater.

“See! She can’t answer that. You’ll get too angry.” says Lem.

“Crud!” says a Tik Tok star.

“Why aren’t you more posh?!” asks a woman of Lacey.

“It’s not my style.” says Lacey. “I used to try. Now I never would.”

“So you’re a lesbian?” asks The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“No.” says Lacey. “Not at all.”

“So if you had $30 million net right now you’d do what?” asks Edna California.

Lacey thinks. “Buy silver. Expensive loose gemstones. Gold.” She thinks. “Buy multiple escape routes.”

“Yup!” says a middle-class American man accusing Lacey of criminal activity. He misunderstood what she meant by escape.

“I’m not involved in criminal activity.” says Lacey.

“Yes you are!” says another American middle-class woman.

“No! That’s not what I meant.” says Lacey.

They look smug. Accusatory.

“Why don’t you ask her what she meant?!” asks F. Scott Fitzgerald, exasperated.

“You think we should have to ask?!?” scoffs the American middle-class about Lacey.

“That’s what we’re doing right now!” says Summertime Sadness.

“Eat it!” says a witch in the Illuminati who is misunderstanding what’s going on. She’s somehow misconstruing everything she reads Lacey doing to be Katharine Heigl being prettier than Lacey or her equal. Lacey’s lifelong accidental impersonation of Mandy Moore and Katharine is hard on their egos. Because unlike Lacey they can’t turn a switch in her brain and sound like Marilyn Monroe. And she is far more naturally beautiful than them. They’re for real, so to speak. Lacey feels bad.

“I’m scary!” says Katharine Heigl, rolling her eyes.

“Not really!” says Lacey.

She laughs. “Yeah! You’ve played me most of your life. You know the character.”

“Actually, you’re a very tragic person in that way.” says Lacey.

“My mom might agree.” says a Katharine. “Neither of us are who they think we are.”

A moment passes.

“Why are you trying to escape?” asks a middle-class person of Lacey.

“I’m not. It’s just about survival.” says Lacey.

“So if our government literally collapses?” asks a middle-class American.

“Yes!!” says Lacey.

“That’s not going to happen!” says another American middle-class person.

“No! She’s going to put us in concentration camps!” says a lower middle class woman.

“No!! I’d hopefully be gone before that.” says Lacey.

“Where would you go?!?” asks Summertime Sadness.

“Exactly!” says Lacey.

“So…new wardrobe?” asks Summertime Sadness.

“No! It’s pointless. Maybe a few things. But it’s mostly pointless.” says Lacey. “At least to me.”

“So we’re all just rabid peasants.” says Summertime Sadness.

“That’s what you’ve edged toward.” says Lacey.

“Has it gotten worse since the Illuminati started attacking you?!” asks a Tik Tok star.

“They started in 2016. Before the election.” says an actress.

Midnight City by M83 plays. Batgirl III dances. “This is the music to listen to. Not your shitty music!” she said in 2016 telepathically to Lacey who worried she was losing her mind.

“I’m ugly and conceited compared to Lacey.” she admits in 2023. “But it’s taken me years to be able to say that. I’m very narcissistic.”

“And you were Mr. Blue’s actual mistress?! Approved by his wife?” says a middle class man.

“Yes! Yes!” says Lacey.

“I don’t want to say.” she says. “I possibly signed an NDA.”

“That’s so posh!” says a Tik Tok star mockingly.

“Okay! But…Mr. Blue was just…pretending to be someone else anyway?!?” says Summertime Sadness. “Did you know the real him?”

Batgirl III thinks. “No! He wore a different mask with me.”

The American upper middle class masquerading as the upper class gets sucked into Batgirl III’s perspective as she talks. They always have. It’s a huge part of the problem?

“Why?!” asks a Tik Tok star. “You’re clearly just obsessed with Lacey. You don’t like her. She deeply threatens your entire worldview and sense of self.”

Drive by Warpaint plays.

So the whole of rich Manhattan. The ones who called Thomas Banks Tony Soprano. The Blair Waldorfs who impersonate Louis Hill Jr. and Lacey’s ancestors. Not Pete Campbell from Mad Men but…the Johnny-come-lately posers who came in the 1800’s to pretend. The middle-class cheap assholes who want to be supreme. Blair isn’t a Seay or a Billings or a Loeb or anyone. She’s not a Vanderbilt.

“She’s Blair Waldorf?” says Jackie Kennedy Onassis. “She’s…not a nobody.”

“Who are the Waldorfs?” asks Lacey.

“They did a hotel thingy?” asks a man in the media who didn’t watch the teenage melodrama anymore than Lacey did.

“So she’s cheap shit.” says Lacey.

“I hear you.” says a Trump.

“Okay! New conspiracy! The liberals robbed the American upper class of their social authority!” says a man.

“That’s not a conspiracy! That’s what actually happened!” says Babe Paley. “Or we were overtaken by hostile imposters.”

“That’s not Babe Paley!! She’d agree with us! Not Lacey!” says a man.

“Waldorf salads?” asks Lacey.

“Does the name Anna Delvy mean anything to you, Lacey!” says the perfume community.

“Yes! I know who she is.” says Lacey, confused.

“She is Anna Delvy!” says Mr. Blue.

“How?!” asks Summertime Sadness.

He looks taken aback. “Don’t you see it?!” Mr. Blue responds.

Summertime Sadness looks unimpressed. He shrugs. “What has she made up?”

“The oil!! The title.” says Mr. Blue. “Us!”

“I’m supposed to take your word for that?!“ asks Summertime Sadness.

“I don’t lie!” says Mr. Blue who then tries to seduce him. “I’m a rich, handsome liberal genius!

“Ooh! Flashy!” says Lacey. She sighs. “That bullshit rests on the Kennedys, precious. Are you really a total idiot?”

“No!! You don’t understand history better than us!” say all American liberals to Lacey. They’re aghast, devastated and deeply upset.

“I’m not a total idiot.” says Mr. Blue.

Jack rides on his Segway on a California beach in the 1980’s.

“Yeah! She’s a backward, hateful conservative. Yeah!” say the liberal woke crowd on cue. “Don’t make fun of Jack.”

“That’s what he’s doing.” says Lacey.

“No! JFK is not ever an embarrassing man. He’s a tan sex god of darkness who fucks Lem.” says the liberal American middle class. They sound like robots.

“You…were brainwashed to think that.” says a Tik Tok star.

“No!! We aren’t brainwashed.” they say.

“Then back up that idea with historical facts.” says the Tik Tok star.

“Wikipedia says he’s gay!” says a liberal middle class man.

“No!! It also has no proof.” says Lacey.

“No! It’s Wikipedia!” says a Boomer middle class woman.

“Did you understand what she said?!” asks the Tik Tok star.

“She can’t! I cursed everyone to not be able to understand her.” says Mr. Blue. He thinks. “I literally rearranged the world using the Illuminati just to attack her.”

“You made our minds mush?!?” asks a Tik Tok star.

“Umm. So Tommy Banks was in involved in Watergate? Yeah. That’s…not normal. And you did what?!?” asks the Tik Tok star.

“I rearranged the world via the Illuminati to just brutally attack her.” he says. “In my defense it was only supposed to affect her.”

“Yeah.” says the Tik Tok star.

“Wow.” says a middle class man.

“Do you think on a deeper level it was a cry for help?!” asks the Tik Tok star.

“That’s if there’s more to me than my personality disorder.” says Mr. Blue.

“Why did you fixate on her social class?!” asks the Tik Tok star.

He smiles. “She may have encouraged that to defend herself. But…I started it. We all did. …Umm. Our accomplishments mean a lot to us. And…we’re narcissistic.”

“So…you did it? Or you found out that she cared about you as a person?” asks a psychologist. “You confided in her how messed-up your life was. Didn’t you?”

“You know…nice people…can be dangerous.” says an American.

“Fargo?!” laughs a man.

(Adult content below)

“No. That’s a narcissistic insult and they use it as a cover.” says a proud conspiracy theorist. She thinks. “Honestly…they’re scary. It’s the woods.” She grins.

“But they’re so orderly and good and nice.” says a California Edna.

“But they’re not…the Kennedys.” says an Ethel.

JFK rides on his Segway. Darts around a corner. It’s 2016.

He steps into a coffee shop. Orders a mocha. Triple shot. Iced.

“What kind of milk?” asks Harvey Milk.

He laughs. “Cow’s milk.”

“You don’t want oat milk?” he jokes.

Jack rolls his eyes. Laughs.

“So…Jack…you hid you homosexuality. And now it’s more open in Purgatory. Because you hid it?” asks a gay man.

Jack smiles. “Don’t ask me about my homosexuality!”

“Hide!” says a conservative. “They can’t handle that!”

Drive by Warpaint plays.

“I love driving.” says Lacey.

“Why the hell did you think land didn’t matter? …Or oil?!” asks a leftist woman. “It’s land!” She thinks. “Or why would JFK want to tell you about his homosexuality?! …He hid it!”

Mr. Blue cries. He cries narcissistic tears. He can’t stand that sort of talk. It sounds like Lacey when he first started attacking her. Or they stupidly reasoned that kind of thinking was lower class and a threat to their power. They didn’t realize it’s old money. Old aristocracy. And common too.

Batgirl III feels like she’s going to die and go to Hell ugly. But she says it’s, “Just an anxiety attack!” She’s also incapable of being inferior to a Lacey.

“Why?! Why Blair?” asks the Tik Tok star of Batgirl III.

“Why do you assume Jack is your friend?” asks a Gen Z woman. “You’re making fun of him for riding a Segway? And yeah…it’s funny. It’s a funny, Arrested Development image. But…if he’s actually trying to be honest? That’s better than raping some poor guy who was possibly molested and who’s dad died. I mean…Lem seems crazy if he actually impersonated gay men. But…he does sound kinda fake.” She tries not to laugh. “And if Lacey was lied to or misunderstood then I’m not making fun of him!”

Lem smiles. “No, it did sound fake.”

“Don’t be too hard on Jack!” says a Gen Z gay man. “Like…for his evil! But…maybe he really didn’t understand homosexuality either.”

“Yeah! But Lacey will try to use that.” says the leftist woman.

“I’m fighting. Do you think it’s dishonorable?” asks Lacey.

“They can’t be persuaded to become conservatives.” she says.

“Why? That’s what you want?” asks Lacey. “What I want matters too.”

“You’re not a liberal.” she says.

Batgirl III looks intellectually confused. Blair Waldorf wants to talk with her about headbands.

“Oh! That sounds like fun!” says Lacey.

“Sad! Sad! You’re a lesbian!!!” yells all of liberal Western Society at Lacey.

midnight love by girl in red plays.

“No. I’m not.” Lacey says too nicely and calmly and lovingly for them to hear or respect. They try to rape her.

“Now they’ll attack her! And it always distracts her.” says Mr. Blue. He grins at his former mistress. “I’ve gotchu!” he says tenderly and playfully.

“Does your wife understand how much you love Batgirl III?” asks the leftist woman.

“Love wins!” says a gay man rolling his eyes. He’s possibly mocking himself to joke with God. “Yeah. I like to think homosexuals are able to be homosexuals in Heaven.” He burps. Drinks a coffee. Sits in his car. Thinks. “But…maybe Lacey has had that thought too.”

They think.

“Are you all secretly homophobic?!” he asks. “And Lacey’s secretly too Christian and progressive?” He laughs. “The secret isn’t mine. Or hers…necessarily. But maybe you don’t like it?!” He closes his eyes. “And she probably isn’t an idiot. She probably knows we do get attacked.”

Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls plays.

“Lacey isn’t homophobic.” says the leftist woman. “She’s not politically definable.”

“That’s scary isn’t it?!” says the gay man. “She’s more like a Founding Father.” he says.

“True!” says Lacey. She senses them falling apart. “Oh well.” she says sadly.

“What am I?” asks F. Scott Fitzgerald.

But Mr. Blue keeps twisting everything. Him and his henchmen.

Batgirl III smiles. She feels prettier than Lacey. She feels more powerful than the entire world.

“And why are you letting him destroy American power to hurt Lacey?” Tik Tok and China kindly ask the liberal organization Mr. Blue is part of.

“It’s no big deal. It’ll blow over!” they say as per usual. “We’ll kill her. Or…something.”

“Hmm. So there’s an afterlife??” asks a snob.

“Ha! That’s cute!” says Mr. Blue’s boss.

The leftist woman sees the power structure unfolding before her eyes. She respects Lacey’s sense of honor. But it scares her.

“Yes.” says Mr. Blue to the snob.

“Why don’t you all care?! Can’t you see that they’re playing you all?!” asks the snob. “They’re using you. …You’re like middle schoolers trying to control high schoolers. It’s embarrassing!”

“I’ll pray for her!!” says Summertime Sadness. “But it’s witchcraft! She’s a witch! A prostitute witch!”

“Haven’t you seen the film Promised Land?!” says Summertime Sadness’s girlfriend. “That’s their family! She’s poor!!”

A Jew in Hollywood and London laugh. …Then they snicker.

“That’s what I always think of when I think of this family! That film!” says a huge swath of Lacey’s haters.

“Like…she’s a trailer park prostitute who smokes.” says Summertime Sadness’s girlfriend.

“Except…that’s not her family. At all.” says a gay man. He smiles.

Jack and Harvey ride off together.

Under the Sun by DIIV plsys

A witch laughs at the joke. “I’m sorry. Even if they’re using me…I still find it kind of funny.” She thinks. “It’s a reference to John Hughes films.” She wonders if she should consider Christianity.

A Greek Orthodox Christian smiles. “It’s not safe to make assumptions. But we do have to have faith in Christ…for our own protection. …And I bet you understand what I mean by that.”

“I’m just going to let the liberals destroy themselves. They’re doing so dang well at it.” says the leftist woman to Lacey.

“But what are they dismantling in the process?” asks Lacey.

“Like science?!” she asks.

“Like…hospitals?” wonders Lacey.

“Nah! You all have that in the bag.” she says.

“Why science?” asks Lacey.

Right Thing by Bayonne plays.

The leftist woman smiles. “It’s not possible to truly dismantle science.”

“True!” says Lacey. “Without societal collapse.”

“I wish they’d make a Netflix series about French society!” says an Alan.

The leftist woman looks worried. “How do we get out?”

“Turn your brain back to 1850.” says Lacey.

“1850!” says a gay man. He thinks.

“How?!” she asks Lacey.

“Lacey! My grandfather wasn’t born in 1850!” says the gay man sipping coffee.

“Do you understand much about the 1800’s?” says Lacey.

“I’ve got it! I’m set!” says Zelda to Lacey seriously.

“Do you have escape routes popping in your mind?” asks Lacey.

She thinks.

“I do!!!” says Amelia Earhart.

“I feel like I’m more like to think of survival.” says the leftist woman.

“Darn it!” says Lacey.

Louis thinks. Looks sad.

“I feel vulnerable and helpless.” says Joe Sr..

“What about you, Batgirl III?” asks an actress.

Teddy Roosevelt looks discouraged.

“You think like Amelia Earhart!” says the leftist woman to Lacey. “In a way.” She smiles.

“You attacked America’s liver!” says Marianne to the They.

The leftist thinks that’s an intriguing analogy.

They all think.

America’s liver!” says Marianne patriotically.

“Marianne is owned by South America!” says a Democrat.

A leftist woman tries not to laugh.

“Huh. Sounds…complicated?” asks a Gen Z man patronizingly.

“She isn’t easy to control.” say the Democrats.

“That’s a huge admission.” says the leftist woman.

“Yeah! So now what?! …You’ll turn your brains back to 1850?” says Mr. Blue’s boss.

Joe Sr. looks at the leftist woman empathetically.

“I’m enlarging my territory!” says a black Christian American woman. She means through Christ.

“You’re WHAT?!” asks the leftist woman.

“Lacey is right! …But I’m not going to be scared. I’m going to fight!” says the American black woman. She’s not trying to be funny.

Jack rides his Segway down to the beach.

F. Scott Fitzgerald looks at her. “How?”

She shrugs. “I’m not going to be scared! I’m just not!”

He thinks. Relates.

“Alright! Sister, how?” asks a fellow black American woman.

“You ain’t my sister! But…we can work side by side. As long as you stay off my territory.” she responds.

“I want your land.” she responds.

“You don’t think I know that?!?” asks the other black woman.

“Fine! We’re fighting now?!” she asks in fear.

“Nah! You just need to back up.” says the other woman.

“I can’t do that!” she responds.

“Then you talk to your man. Tell him I’m not scared.” the other woman responds.

“We can’t kill each other. It’s wrong.” she says.

“Then we’ll SHARE!” the other woman responds demandingly.

“BRILLIANT!” says Lacey observing in respectful awe.

“No! She’s genuinely impressed!” says a black woman.

“Lacey, turning my brain back to 1850 doesn’t help.” says the leftist woman. “Do you have any other ideas?”

“I’ll get back to you!” says Lacey.

More later.

Love (Fade) plays.

“I’m revolted! How dare you!” says Lacey after watching the trailer for Promised Land (2012).

“Why?” asks an Englishwoman.

“She’s too angry to talk now. They botched it.” says Prince Philip.

During her break from writing the They in the Illuminati insisted Lacey was lying. That her family was like those people.

“I botched it too!” says Margaret Thatcher. “She’s also mad at me.”

“Why did you expect them to be like you?!” asks Lacey.

“I was a narcissistic person.” says Margaret Thatcher.

“So was I!” says Ronald Reagan.

“Why are you different than them?” asks Mr. Blue’s boss of Lacey.

The Satanists and Mr. Blue try to choke Lacey while she eats her lunch. Get her kids to die through nasty accidents. As per usual. Literally.

“I have to attack. Or it comes back on me!” says Mr. Blue.

“So you attacked Lacey…using Illuminati Satanism and if you don’t kill her and her family you and your family die?” asks a Catholic. “Why did you do that?!?”

“Because we’re broke peasant bastards!” says a Bush either sarcastically or seriously.

“Umm…why? Why is Promised Land so upsetting?” asks a Catholic patronizingly in a sincere attempt to do…something.

“I’ll ask!” says The Loudest Perfume Hater.

She walks up to Lacey at the town bar. It functions more like a British pub. You might not get it.

“Hey!” she says awkwardly. She pretends to be shy. Uneasy. Embarrassed.

“Hey!” says Lacey in faux cheer.

“Hey! So…your family is here!” says The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Yeah! We’re celebrating my aunt’s 80th birthday!” says Lacey.

The Loudest Perfume Hater looks class shamed. She smiles damply.

They sit in awkward silence.

“Your grandma taught my dad!” she says, drinking her chilled bottle of Bud.

“Really?!” says Lacey in faux cheer.

She notices Lacey isn’t drinking anything. Feels even more awkward.

“In 2012 how much money had oil companies made from your family?!” asks an oil executive of Lacey. She interrupts.

Lacey thinks. “$300,000,000.00.” says Lacey.

The oil executive drinks. Laughs.

“Actually it was probably closer to $700,000,000.00.” says Wobbly.

“We’re a 9 billion Dollar company!” says Lacey mocking the film. She rolls her eyes in rage filled disgust.

“How much do you think we’re actually worth?” the oil executive asks Lacey.

Meekly she thinks. Lacey has been told she’s a genius. But she’s also been severely beaten by her haters mentally for being intellectually abrasive? “Oh! $700 billion?” she says nervously.

“Or even a trillion!” says a man in his late 70’s.

The Loudest Perfume Hater laughs.

Lacey isn’t sure if she’s correct or being mocked. So she listens quietly, holding her own.

“A gin and tonic?” asks the barkeeper from The Shining.

Lacey is put off by his overly friendly manner. She glares at him in anger. He cowers.

“Where is this?!” she asks.

“Wisconsin!” he says.

“Liar!” she says.

“It’s magic!” he says.

“Oh TO HELL WITH IT!” she yells in Jesus’s name.

He nods. “How about some chocolate fudge?”

“Will it torment my family?!” she spits.

Crying, the Chinese carry Lacey off.

“Yeah! That’s embarrassing.” says a Tik Tok star about America.


“Your family is that oil rich.” says the head of Sinclair to Lacey.

“But you’ve only made what?! $60 million? $100 million?” asks a John K..

“And they were already millionaires since the 1950’s!” yells a Matt. “They made their millions with an s through Wall Street. And brilliance. And good breeding. And lots of tireless hours of hard work.”

“Yeah! There’s no Caterpillar keeping them alive. They had millions through thousands and thousands of acres of land.” says an actress.

“And Wall Street!” says H. B..

“Yeah! They might have made millions through just investing in Wall Street.” says an actor.

“Farmers aren’t allowed to be better than me!” says a John K..

“You’re Polish!!” says a Nazi to John K.. “Of course you’d think too highly of yourself!”

“Okay?!” he says.

They all think.

John K. is offended. “We did a lot of research for that film!”

“Where?!” asks Lacey.

“We turned the whole state of North Dakota into a small town outside of Minneapolis.” says an actress. “Coming from New York or Boston or Los Angeles it made sense.”

“Like a small town in Kentucky!” says Lacey. “Which is fascinating considering my Seay roots in Tennessee.”

“You’re wrong! Tennessee and Kentucky are two different states!” says Mr. Blue’s boss.

“Yeah! You’re a ignorant bitch!” yells Mr. Blue at Lacey.

“How big was the Seay plantation in Tennessee?” asks a Southern guy who considers himself a blue blood.

“It was purchased in 1730 at 1,000 acres, I recall?” says Lacey. “It likely expanded. And there was a second one before the Civil War in Georgia in my mother’s family.” She thinks. “The mother who raised me.”

“And they fought in the Revolutionary War?” asks a Southerner.

“Yes! Well…one of us did. The others, being from Devon England, may have been loyal to the crown?” says Lacey.

“Why are you telling us this?!” says the Southerner.

“SHUT-UP!! I didn’t understand social class! Okay?!? Get over it!” says Mr. Blue.

“That was Lacey saying that!! Finally admiring it! Right?!?”asks a beleaguered woman.

“You’re supposed to be…cutesy and weird.” says the Southern man to Lacey seriously.

“WHAT?!” asks Iran.

“Eww!” says Lacey. “You’re a descendant of an illegitimate child of a vile, bastard king and a gross whore?”

Iran laughs. So does Syria.

“Are there other rabid whores in your cheap ass bloodline?” asks Lacey of the so-called Southerner. “Carpet bag shit!”

“We might be carpet baggers.” he says.

“Then what do you want?!” ask the Seays and thousands of dead real southerners.

“So most of us are impressed and impersonating dead people who don’t have the means to defend their honor?” asks an Instagram star who secretly works for Trump.

“Mostly.” says Lacey. “Why are you so obnoxious?”

He tries flirting with her and it violently repulses Lacey.

“I caught you eye for a second years ago.” he says.

“Yeah! So what?! You’re a skinny, scrawny, vain little man. It was empathy.” says Lacey.

“Some people sincerely fancy me.” he says.

“Great!” says Lacey.

“We are carpet baggers!” says the Southern man. He thinks. “I’m sorry!”

“Don’t attack me!” says Lacey. “That’s all.”

“So you lost your wealth in the Civil War?!” asks a carpet bagger who pretends to be old money.

“Yes! We fought valiantly but were captured.” says Lacey.

“And they burned down and stole everything?” she asks.

“Ha!” says a Mrs. Seay. “Do you want to hear about the rape and beastiality and kidnapping and torture and pestilence and literal shit brought upon us by the Northern army?!”

“And I bet you were literally kind to your slaves?” asks a black woman sadly. Sincerely.

“I was an Abolitionist!” says Silas in a surprisingly haughty tone. “We weren’t innocent of all evil. But I did care.”

“Did you teach?” she asks him.

He smiles and nods in a genteel manner.

“That’s nice, Silas!” she says.

He looks sad. Apologetic. Almost cries.

“Look, this isn’t right. I’m sorry sir, that we misunderstand men and women like you!” says the black American woman.

“We were the ones who messed-up!! Thank you, though!” he says simply and sincerely.

“What do the DuPonts think of you all?” she asks.

“They’re scared of us.” he says.

Drive by Warpaint plays.

“And Seay was your mother’s maiden name?” asks the black woman of Lacey. “Those are your people!”

“That grandfather went to where? Boston University?” asks John K..

“A cousin went there. Or two. No! He supposedly went to Julliard and UCLA.” says Lacey.

“Full list of impressive schools in your birth family and family that you were raised in!” he says.

“Hillman!” jokes Bill C..

Lacey is both shocked and saddened by this flashback of reality.

Outro plays.

“The disturbing truth is that I think that man might have been a real intellectual.” says Lacey. “But anyway…”. She thinks.

Billie Holiday by Warpaint plays.

“Creighton University twice, Purdue University, Harvard Medical School, Boston University twice, The University of Washington several times. NYU. And of course UCLA and The Julliard School supposedly.” says Lacey. “We usually go to the state colleges and universities though.”

“And you have chairs of departments at universities and such?” asks an angry woman of Lacey.

“Yes!” says Lacey.

“You hate all this petty drama?!” Marianne asks Lacey.

Lacey sighs. “Yup! Are you going to torture me with that one or not because I’m getting tired.” says Lacey.

“Boston University twice?” asks Summertime Sadness.

“Yes! Their biology department fascinates us, apparently.” says Lacey.

“But all of North Dakota was like one big small town!” says an actress.

“Yes! It’s disgusting!” says Lacey.

“I would think it was nice!” says a woman to Lacey.

“You’re obnoxious!” says Lacey.

“You don’t matter!” says a Joan on MSNBC to the entire Midwest. “Watch your back! I am hot shit sweetie!” she says seething and dead serious.

“I was taking you seriously and trying to relate to you before I fell down the stairs. Did you orchestrate it you fried old whore???” asks Lacey. “Are you a batshit crazy old white whore?” asks Lacey. “Yo! What wrong witchu bitch?”

“I’m not that dumb!” she says.

“How would I know?!” asks Lacey.

“You aren’t familiar? That’s why we are elite and you aren’t!“ says Mr. Blue.

“Why are you so mean?!” asks a Joan.

“That’s a PSYCHOTIC question!” says Lacey.

Astronaut In The Ocean plays as the entire Hamptons elite shakes their naked gross poop littered assholes in synchronized dance mobs.

“What’s wrong witchu Joanie-Pony?!” asks Syria.

“To be a good little white girl you should wear a lot more clothing.” says Lacey. “What wrong witchu Joan.”

“I’m not a little girl!” she says.

“Oh really?! You’re so edgy and different.” says Lacey.

“When was the last time you paid attention to anything I said?” she asks.

“Years ago.” says Lacey.

“For all you know, I’m dead!” she says.

“I doubt it. But fair point.” says Lacey.

“So…you would buy gold?” asks a Republican.

“Yes!” says Lacey.

“Yeah! We aren’t like that.” say the Illuminati who feel bothered by her.

“That’s sad.” says a Billie.

“Why do you not get it by now?!” asks Michael Rockefeller.

“Because they have billions in oil! BILLIONS!” says an Edna in California. “Why do they settle for $100 million?! …Disbursed.”

“What is wrong with white peoples?” asks Joan. “I highly doubt these people would ever start their own oil company to drill into their own oil fields.”

“No!!” says a dead Mark Nesheim. “We didn’t care that much.”

“I could seize their land! How about that?!” says Putin.

“You’ll ruin your country if you invade her family!” he warns, laughing.

“Why could he?!” asks a woman.

Putin looks disturbed.

“You don’t care?” ask living billionaires.

“I was raised in wealth! I had a great life!” says Mark.

“Billions doesn’t mean much?” they ask.

“What do you do with billions?! Run the world?! Maybe I didn’t want that much trouble!” says Mark.

“They sound very insular and snobby. Hardly the people depicted in Promised Land.” says a man.

Lacey laughs.

“You do realize they rent to the world. They’re our landowning landlords!” says a woman.

Exasperated, “We understand! We understood!” says the entire Middle East.

“Leave it to the liberals to find a female old money Connor Rooney hiding in the secret Norse elite. And then try to mindlessly and sadistically attack her to death with the witchcraft of the flailing 21st Century American Illuminati??” says a man. “Because she’s threatening to their ego?!? She’s…not wrong Joan. Are you a psychopath?!”

“I’m bullied myself if I’m innocent.” she says.

“But who decided to attack her?! That was irresponsible to a psychotic degree!” says the man.

“Maybe me?” says Mr. Blue.

“Wow! What a mistake!” says the man, astonished.

“No! She’s hilariously like Connor. …Except she’s sweet. And reasonable. And too smart to be a problem unless you’re literally trying to kill her and steal her family from eternity.” says a man who reads the New York Times.

“Do you ever stop to wonder: What would life be like if I hadn’t attacked her? Or do you enjoy the chaos around the world you’ve created with your lack of concern for others?” asks an Irishman.

“Why doesn’t she just die?!” asks an American Gen Z man. He’s white, single and annoying.

“For who! And for what cause?!” asks the Irishman.

“For you?!” he says shrugging.

“That’s gross! You can’t be that dumb!” he responds.

“So…she’s starting a war to defend her family?” he says.

“Why don’t I just kill you?! They’re an occult group! They attacked her! And they’re evil!”he says.

“Because I’m an American.” he says.

“Right! But they’re the Illuminati!” says the Irish man.

“So she can’t let herself die on principle?” he asks.

“Don’t you understand the idiocy of what you’re saying?!” says the Irish man.

“I don’t care! Her kids can get molested! I hope they do! I’m so poor! You have no idea how poor I am! …I hate the rich! Down with the rich!” he says.

“What’s your last name?!” asks the aging Irish man.

“Zeller.” he says. “I’m German?”

A dead Nazi laughs.

“Do you hate Jews.” asks Louis.

“Jews? No! I hate women, if I hate anyone. And…rich people. Mostly rich women.” he says. “I don’t like rich people.”

“What will happen if you kill Lacey?” asks Marianne.

“Yeah! I don’t know. …Why do you need a sacrifice?!” he asks. “Can’t you kill a goat?!”

“Yeah! But…then we’d be…cowards? Or like…it’s just…bad. Like…he can’t be that weak. He needs her blood to keep the magic flowing.” explains a Kim.

“Magic to do what?!” he asks.

“To run the world. Literally.” says a Kim.

“But she is dangerous to kill?!” he asks.

“Yes!! It’s destroying the world.” Kim cracks-up laughing.

“Yeah! So…why? Can’t you stop?!” he asks.

She smiles. “I don’t necessarily want to kill her.“

“Geez!” says a Christian.

“Oh well.” says Lacey.

“So…in order to defend your rights as a human and protect your children from being molested you’ve been forced into giving enormous power to Russia and China?!?” asks the Christian.

North Korea nods.

“So they’ve driven the country into the ground just to get at you?!?” he asks.

“They seem to be organized that way.” says Lacey.

“So they got into a power struggle with Lacey?!” asks a woman. “And it’s destroyed the world because she’s that difficult?!”

“Yes!” says the Irish man. “We’re not wimps here in Ireland and they destroyed us.” He thinks. “It’s horrifying to watch their ego. The British ruled the world. They really did! And she’s just one living person. If you kill her…it might be the End Times. Truly! …Don’t keep outsmarting yourselves!”


“She’d be…unspeakably dangerous if you laid a finger on the British Isles unnecessarily. And I mean that as an understatement.” he explains. “If her kids are injured…Lem will End Times your ass!”


“But…like…have the American people been deported from their government to protect them?” asks a Tik Tokker.

“Yes!” says North Korea.

“Like…we’re seen as a tomato without its skin.” says a Kim K.

“And Putin is our secret legal guardian now?” asks a guy who finds the Gen Z dude earlier disgusting.

“Possibly.” says Lacey.

“Why aren’t you more creeped out?!” asks the man of Lacey.

“I grew-up differently. We never…didn’t care. Or if we did it was strategic. My great grandmother’s sister had a medal for being a spy in Nazi occupied Norway.” Lacey thinks. “She escaped to England to save her life.” She thinks. “We don’t get scared in that way maybe.”

“And your Tom’s daughter!” says the Irish man.

“Yes!” says Lacey.

“So…he helped run the world?” asks the young man.

“Possibly.” says Lacey.

“So all that genetic information is in your brain and it’s helped you understand instantly what to do to protect yourself?!” he asks.

“Yes! God is my mom and dad. My protection. But…my brain is pretty at ease with the situation.” says Lacey.

“So you’ve probably saved us from nuclear war?!” asks the Tik Tokker.

“Possibly!” says Lacey.

“Do they-What happened to our country?!” she asks.

“It’s complicated.” says Lacey.

“People never took you seriously enough!” says a Messiah College graduate to Lacey.

“Anyway…we had a crash landing. We were trying for world power, but we didn’t know how to do the world power thing. And by Obama the whole world noticed.” says Lacey. “We had them going for decades though.”

“Why Obama?!” asks the Tik Tokker.

“Because that’s when the country fell apart. He wasn’t what he was supposed to be.” says Lacey. “He was a puppet. …Because that’s the level of sophistication and maturity of that party. And on occasion they have been able to make it work. Like with FDR. But…it’s a rough party.” She thinks. “And by 2008…we couldn’t afford a pretty show. We needed someone who could…be a Margaret Thatcher. Be…difficult but not foolish. And Obama is corporate.”

“Who do I follow them?!?” asks a General in the military indignantly.

“President Biden. The US President.” she says.

He laughs. “I know.”

“So what is the problem?!” ask Lacey.

“Fine! I don’t want to!” he says.

She rubs her eyes. “Who’s keeping score in the military to keep up the show?”

“I’m not in a musical!” he says laughing.

“But you are though. Just think of it like he’s the main star of the show and he’s gone off the wagon. And in order to keep the creditors at bay you need to have a way to make him irrelevant while preserving the role for the next night. Because he will be replaced.” says Lacey. “Hopefully by someone sober.”

“So basically take over the show but wheel him out and prop him up every once and a while to make him look good and make it look like he’s part of the show.” he says.

“All branches that are functional.” says Lacey. “What parts of the plane are left intact?”

“The rudder! The engine is not in great shape but it has some life left in it. The engine light is on. …The wings. We are encountering a lot of turbulence.” he says.

“And how responsive is the plane?” asks Lacey.

“Not very responsive.” he says.

“But you’re close to being able to land!” says Lacey. “Next year!”

He nods.

“Can you make it?!” she asks.

“It’s going to be tough!” he says.

“I thought it shouldn’t have taken off.” says Lacey.

“Why?!” he asks.

“The flight plan was too long? Are you running low on fuel?!” asks Lacey.

“Yes! I can’t believe how low the levels are! I thought it was a malfunction.” he says.

“Yeah! It was a bizarre flight plan. But you’re close to the end of the flight?!” she asks.

He freaks out.

“What are your fuel levels?” asks Lacey.

“We have a 1/4 left.” he says.

“That’s going to be close!” she says. “Say! Why don’t you land in the military base?!”

“Camp Hood is 20 miles from here.” he says.

“Yes! Can you manage?!?” she asks.

He thinks. “Yes!”

“You wanted my opinion?” she asks.

“I’m landing the plane now!” he says.

“I see the plane!” says Putin.

“Yes!” says China. “Safe landing!”

Gnossiennes (6), For Piano by Erik Satie plays.

“It’s okay! You were kind to Great Britain. We’ll try!” says China.

“Not nearly kind or respectful enough!” says Lacey.

China smiles.

“I love Tik Tok!” says an American Gen Z guy who found Christ through Tok Tok.

“So! We have a new dad?!” asks America of Lacey.

“He’s helping us.” says Lacey.

“What happened to Joe?” asks an actor.

“You mean your president?” asks Lacey.

“Oh please! I’m not calling that man my president!” says The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Do you want a Tsar or a President?” asks Lacey.

“Presidents are nice!” says Harold Loeb cheerfully.

“Can we have a pretend president for a while at least?!” asks a Boomer woman.

“Well, Joe is still technically your president.” says Lacey.

“I’m sick of him!” she says.

“Oh that’s too bad.” says a Tsar.

“Say! Why not write him a letter telling him why you’re sick of him.” says Harold.

“He might hurt me!” says the Boomer.

“Oh! Really??” says the Tsar. “I don’t let my kids write me mean letters. But they know that. It’s disrespectful. But…your presidents allow this?!”

“I don’t like mean letters when I’m busy!” says the General. He likes Putin.

“Well! That’s good!” say the Chinese.

“Say! Your…Joe…is…is a…promising man. But that’s in the eyes of God.” says the Tsar. “Let’s give him a chance to apologize to you before you write a letter.“

“I don’t even want to call him Joe!” says The Loudest Perfume Hater.

“Call him what?!” says China.

“A sleaze bag!” she says.

“He’s been mean! Taken advantage of your trust!” says the Tsar.

“Yes! I hate him!” says a Gen. X woman.

“Well…I understand.” says the Tsar.

The Boomer male General suddenly realizes what’s going.

“This isn’t funny!” he says to Lacey.

“Alright! Well…then what?!” asks Lacey.

“We can’t figure out how to elect a president since we started attacking you.” he says eerily.

“Dang boy! You in hot shit!” says Lacey like he’s probably just shitting in her face.

“I wanna go to Putin’s again.” says the Boomer.

“Fine! But then I’M IN CHARGE!!” says Lacey.

A moment later.

“Tsar! You have a TSAR!” says Lacey.

China nods.

“He’s not your president. But we have to be brave. He’s got the sleaze bag in a torture chamber. I locked him in there and the Tsar has the key. So does Lem. And of course you know I date Michael and Lem most seriously. And of course I gave a key to Michael too.” says Lacey.

“You locked the sleaze bag in a torture chamber?!“ asks a demon.

“Go ask God. Or I rebuke you to Hell in Jesus’s name. Whichever God prefers.” says Lacey.

“I don’t have a key!!!” says China! “Sorry!”

“So! We don’t have to move!” says a Millennial.

“No! Not at all!” says Lacey. “The Tsar has been very kind so far.”

“He bought our house?!” asks a Boomer.

“He’s friends with China. China bought our house.” says Lacey.

“Was dad bankrupt?!” asks a reader of the blog.

“Yes! He was an addict. Some people are addicted and get help and others just want to get high because there’s something wrong with their brains in some way.” says Lacey.

“Am I okay?!” asks an American Boomer.

“No! I’m having you checked tomorrow!” says Louis Hill Jr..

He looks incredibly concerned.

“I got a key from Lem!” he says unwrapping a wool scarf.

“Hello!” says the Tsar.

“You look exhausted!” says Louis.

“Yes! I am!” he says, trying not to cry.

“I took too long to get here! Sorry!” says Louis.

“Dad!!” says the entire U. S. military to Louis.

Lacey looks startled. Baffled.

“This isn’t typical! But…Andrew was the one who contacted me when Joe was…scaring Casi.” says Louis. “I’ve let him call me dad.”

“Are you prepared to be his father forever?” asks Lacey.

“As long as God sees fit.” says Louis.

“Dad! What’s going on?!” asks the U. S. military.

“It’s all going to be fine!!” says Lem. “Tsar Putin is a very tired and very kind man. We’ll have to talk to him about that key.”

“I don’t want him to leave yet!” says a Boomer.

“I need rest!!” he says. “You already have how many dead paternal figures. You don’t need me to be that difficult to get in touch with! Right?!”

“Yah! Yah! Yah!!!” says Lem’s father. “Let him sleep!”

“I like Mike!” says a billionaire. He smiles.

“So! It’s status quo!” says Lacey. “On a certain mechanical level as a country. But on a more serious level we do have some changes to address.” She thinks. “The world is such now that we have had to side with Russia. Secretly. Because they they don’t openly approve of taking kids hostage. And we shouldn’t have to explain to ourselves why that’s so serious.”

Lem walks in and sits down.

“If Russia decides to…maybe someday if we can handle it…we’ll get our country fully back in the world’s eyes. And hopefully I’ll be with Lacey forever. But I do want to be respectful. And…maybe I can do better and say it’s in the bag. But I don’t want to be unnecessarily rude or presumptuous. …But focus on your health and your life and your future and the world around you as a responsible person. As a God fearing person.” says Lem.

“I don’t hate you Joe. I get it. You’re letting us get mad at you. It’s easier than feeling alone.” says a Boomer. “I wish you’d been here. I don’t think things would be this bad.”

And Joe Kennedy Jr. cries. He cries over the children he never had. He cries because he’s not a shallow man and he worries.

Nocturnes (2) For Piano, Op. 48, Ct. 120-121 by Chopin as performed by Arthur Rubinstein plays to represent the best of Poland. He wins his argument by miles.

The song plays. Cale

And plays.

The narcissists in the Illuminati swarm in violent attack against their own souls. Lacey doesn’t regret siding with Russia after seeing the gross immaturity of the American people who symbolically have no respect for their father. Not all Americans. Not all. But enough in the Illuminati to remind her why she took her authority and ran off with the country and fled to Afghanistan to get in touch with Lem, so to speak.

“Goodnight!” says Lem. “Time marches on!”

Nocturnes (2) For Piano, Op. 48, Ct. 120-121 by Chopin plays.