Who were Tommy Banks‘s enemies? Not many people. He occasionally had a beef with various Democratic leaders. but that was only after he stopped giving the Democratic Party money.
“I’d have met him if I survived and ran for president I’d have met him. He would’ve been a necessary person to talk to, and I would’ve had to get his approval on a lot of things. And that’s how I may have ended up dating his daughter if I saw him in any capacity where she was there.” says Joe Kennedy Jr..
“Well that makes sense!” says a Rockefeller.
“No I would’ve had to have his approval and if I had met him met her in anyway anywhere I would’ve been happy to be terrified of her. It would’ve actually made me very happy.” says Joe.
“Why would it have made you so happy?” asks Bobby.
“Because I would have thought that it was like us but old money and she’s very beautiful and it would’ve been very easy to fall in love with her and I would’ve thought it was funny. I might’ve thought that it was just sort of like our family on mom’s side.” says Joe. “Of course whether she’s illegitimate The t we or not she wasn’t born earlier and this didn’t happen, but if it had, it would’ve been very difficult for me not to marry her, unless if she was married, or in less of Lem stepped in and took her away from me.”
“I thought your father was a threat as well is that not the case?” asks Red.
“No I I think that’s his mistake. I don’t think that’s actually likely.” says Joe Jr.. “It’s not that he couldn’t fallen in love with her. It’s it’s just that I don’t think he would have actually done anything to take her away from me because I think he would’ve seen that as far too self/indulgent, at the very least.”
“But you think Lem might’ve taken her away from you? That’s that’s so hard for some people to believe who are alive, not for us so much, but…so do you think Lem would’ve though?” asks Red Fay’s wife.
“I cheat. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard that before, but men in my family cheat.” says Joe Jr.. “And she doesn’t like that. And she doesn’t stand for it past a certain point. She tolerates it for a while out of love and mercy. But I would’ve taken it too far and she knows that now. Probably with Katharine Hepburn or some other starlet and she would’ve known that and then that would’ve been the end and Lem would’ve been there. Sex starved, far more straight than people realize…maybe just entirely straight, and between his starvation, and his love for her and her love for him and their attraction to each other and their mutual loneliness? No, they would’ve ended-up together. Then they would’ve had a choice. Do they tell or do they not tell.
And because of Jack’s expectations on Lem to sexually perform for him, because Jack wasn’t straight, even though Lem actually was – and I am so sick and tired of gay men, clinging to Lem thinking they have a fucking clue what was in his head. He wasn’t gay! So stop imagining her seducing a gay man. That’s not what would’ve happened, that’s not who he was. You either understand that or you don’t but if you don’t understand, don’t assume that you do.” Joe seethes. “It’s actually rather painful for me because it’s possible I didn’t realize that he was straight. I knew he wasn’t gay. I knew he was attracted to women, but I didn’t realize how straight he actually is. I didn’t realize he was just straight. And I wouldn’t have at the time either. I would’ve easily left her alone with him. We all feel left our wives with him. We all would have and he didn’t-He never did anything. And that’s been hard for some Kennedy wives to understand because it’s a vanity issue for them. But she wasn’t his exception. I’m sorry that’s a nice thought but no she was his ideal and she’s like me, but she’s a woman. And she’s faithful and yet she’s like me. You should get into a fight over who could be more faithful, my father, or her father because that would be a real fight.
I slept with bisexual women. I might’ve even slept with a few seeming-lesbians in my time. I was a lot of women’s exception. I got around. But that that’s not what happened, I’ve looked into it. No it’s not what happened. You know it’s funny though because Jack really should have known better, considering that I was in love with her and she was in love with me and we really are alike. Umm…because I was a lot of exceptions for a lot of lesbians. I really was and I saw their beauty and I wanted it and they liked me and we slept together and Jack should’ve put two and two together and realized that, you know, it probably wasn’t just his imagination to think that Lacey could’ve seduced Lem if he was attracted to women at all.” says Joe. “But that’s that’s not even what happened. He seduced her and he would have. He finds her very attractive and he’s straight and no they’re not demisexual, but they really are very deep people and they would have fallen in love and she’s not a typical Kennedy wife. I’m sorry if that’s hard for some people to hear but she’s not. And it would’ve it would’ve happened that…he would’ve seen her sadness and they would’ve just been drawn together like magnets and started making love. …That wasn’t a gay scene. He wouldn’t have seemed gay around her. He would’ve seemed very straight and they would’ve just been drawn to each other very passionately. It looks entirely straight. I’m sorry, Jack.” says Joe.
“And you would’ve you would’ve found out or she wouldn’t have told you?” asks a journalist.
“If Jack wasn’t demanding sexual favors from Lem using Lem’s deluded ideas about reality… and Jack’s own narcissism, which was off the charts…I think they would’ve wondered what to do. And Lem then would’ve had to decide: ‘Do I want to take this woman and take a chance?’ Because he would’ve understood fully how powerful her father was and mine was and everyone that was involved. ‘Or do I want to play things for the long game? Joe is going to get married to her and he’s not going to expect her to put out so we could probably even have her kids and they could just be mine. And if he can have you know women on the side, do I want to share her at all with him or not?’ And the first thing he told her before they made love…for the first time..when they actually first made love, it was, ‘I don’t want to share you.’ And he meant with anyone, but he may have specifically met me. Because he’s dead and if he’s a ghost, and he was trying to tell her that he wouldn’t have shared her with me. Because he’s dead so he knew this conversation was going to happen because the truth is no jack would’ve been our problem and if it wasn’t for Jack trying to get things out of him, there may not have been a problem and then it would’ve been, ‘Do I share her with Joe or not?’ and no he wouldn’t have wanted to share with anyone.” says Joe.
“So it isn’t some drunken scene where he decides to experiment or something or she comes on to him in some desperate way or really almost at all?” asks a gay man.
“No no that’s not what it what would’ve happened.” says Joe.
“You slept with Katharine Hepburn and she was probably straight and I bet you slept with other people too like you said who were lesbians. Or at least that’s how they would’ve categorized themselves, even if they were really technically bisexual, and they just had very few exceptions. And yeah I can see you maybe are like you’re both very daring sexually…but she is a Christian and she’s a woman and it’s different. And maybe that’s actually a good thing even if it’s a bad thing. So to you and Lacey though, this conversation is probably totally asinine. Is that true?” asks a Gen. X feminist. “I mean first of all, if there is an Illuminati she knows as well as a lot of psychics do, who are responsible, that we can’t guarantee everything that we hear from the spiritual side of things. So she doesn’t know for a fact that this is reality. I think she has enough faith in God to treat it like that to some extent, but then that’s a religious issue. But historically, factually this is not not facts, but it’s not fact either and I get that I get the concept. …But while I’m still I’m still tracking I I do-I don’t understand it because that’s not my experience with gay men and I have a feeling it’s hers that she finds all the bisexual ones and you probably did too among women because you both are very attractive, and I have a feeling that there’s no photographic evidence that really does her justice and I don’t know about you. You were not-you might have been extremely attractive too…yeah you really are. I am looking at a picture of you you were extraordinarily attractive. And I have a feeling it was the way you moved and the way you talked too and the way you smelled and your intelligence and your athleticism yeah, you’re probably frighteningly attractive.” she says.
“That’s so correct.” says Joe.
“But that’s not our experience. So you two talk to each other and you’re just like, ‘Umm that’s what happened!’ and you’re like, ‘Umm…yeah I get it!’ But we don’t get it…so I could you explain just a little more what the differences are or what actually happened?” she asks.
“First of all, I was a sexual aggressor in our generation mad really were more commonly the sexual aggressor. So with bisexual women, I could seduce them with my looks, with my charm, with my intelligence, and with the way that I made them feel about themselves. I could get in their head and turn them on. And I wasn’t the slightest bit bothered by their same-sex attraction because to me, it just had nothing to do with me. They were a woman, I was aroused, I wanted to make something happen and I did. And a good number of them felt very complimented by the fact that I still saw their femininity and cherished it. Actually, especially Catherine because some men made a big deal out of that and I didn’t. I thought she was very beautiful and I still do I cheated on Lacey with Katharine. We were in love, and I loved it. I loved her mind, I always loved her mind. I still do it and might not mean as much to me as Pat…but the thing about women like that is that they’re so strong and yet they’re womanly and I love that combination, Lacey was that spades and yet not in the same way that Katharine is, but no I am straight I just I like a woman who’s…a bit gallant for lack of a better word. But actually, that might’ve been part of the problem Lacey‘s not that gallant it’s too masculine she’s really that feminine.” says Joe. He thinks. “I’m trying to think of a way to explain what happened excuse me.”
Later.
“So you guys really are attached to the idea that Lacey is beneath you somehow and I think that that is major flaw in your analysis of the situation in the last two years. It’s really shitty! And you’re too attached to the idea that Lem was gay partially because he did act gay and I don’t think a lot of the liberals get that you could just act gay, but not really be gay. Just like you can act rich and not really be old money. Suck cock but not really want to have men. Have money and not really be old money.
Because it’s too scary to them to think someone could be that fake. …I just wanted to point that out because the reality is that shape shifters are a conservative conspiracy, but there are Shapeshifter’s that are not obvious and all it requires is a different temperament than most people’s and an unusual amount of intelligence, and a reason to do it.” says a Native American woman in North Dakota.
“So then that means that she saying that Lacey is acting rich but she’s not right?” says a liberal.
“No, no that’s not what that woman is saying if you can hear me telepathically.” says a man.
“Why do you guys do that to yourselves when you could easily just look it up online why don’t you just look it up online and research like a normal person on Google?” asks a reader.
“Our assistants do most of our stuff like that for us. So we rarely ever have to do anything of that nature, and it feels demeaning and defiling to our time to have to bother with something that mundane and rudimentary and common.” says a woman on behalf of the American They in the Illuminati.
“I can’t believe that I can’t believe you guys are really that helpless.” says a reader.
“Well Lacey insists that not all people who are elite are or were of our mindset in the past. But to us it just feels like an imposition.” she says sincerely.
“Well yeah I mean we should be able to do it all telepathically because what’s the point of being able to talk telepathically if you can’t figure things like this out telepathically? Because there are a lot of lies online and we’re supposed to tell each other the truth. …Some people can tell the difference between truth and lies online and yet not everyone can and so then we rely on our psychic interpreters. We rely on our common sense and that’s part of our game that we play with each other at times. But Lacey expects us to be able to go online and some people can but just that everyone should be able to fact-check with like references in their head to Aristotle if necessary.” says a woman in the Illuminati.
“I don’t think it’s that hard to fact check online. I really I don’t think it’s quite that hard to fact check. I think you guys just don’t want to be bothered because it embarrasses you to be wrong about something in that way.” says a reader.
“There are a lot of people who don’t realize that it’s been seven years since this started and treat it like it’s just a common cold that’s gonna go away because if this is real, it’s probably not common to just find the Illuminati on your Twitter feed.” says a gay man.
“How did she find you guys? What do you mean?” asks Stanley Kubrick.
“She decoded us spiritually; it’s complicated. I’ve had some people explain it to me. She essentially read us psychically, but not, it’s complicated. But it has to do with coding of language and it sounds schizophrenic like John Nash or something in the movie A Beautiful Mind but it’s not. It’s more that she saw a pattern and in a way it’s like him because she does with the words what he did with numbers. And she sees patterns and emotions and numbers are not a mix with emotions but emotions and words are and so that’s her forte. It’s the combination of words and emotions possibly words and music and emotions even but the point is and images she says she saw it and then she just studied over time to figure out if she was seeing something real and she realized it was real and then she didn’t realize what it was. She thought it was just people talking to each other in some secret silly way, because it was just famous people talking to each other that she noticed, but then we started talking to her because it’s psychic partially. And I am of the mind that we shouldn’t have done that and that that was on us when we started talking to her. But there are people who say that that’s what we do we talk to people dead and alive and that’s part of what we do. That’s part of how we control things so when she introduced her spirit through, you could say accidental astral projection because it wasn’t intentional, we saw her spirit and ended-up talking to her, and I still think we didn’t have to. ..Anyway, just ask the Asmats I guess because it just pisses me off.” says the gay man.
“Why are you guys so set on JFK being the first gay president with Lem? I think it’s far more likely that we’ve had bisexual presidents, and that Lincoln was probably one of them.” says a reader. “I bet he was tempted to cheat with men, but he loved his wife and I wouldn’t even be surprised if she knew that and for all you know she was bisexual too. Maybe they both were. But that’s not something that any of you would ever contemplate is it.”
“Alright so here’s what happened. When I came onto a woman who hadn’t slept with any man other than me once she was overwrought by her attraction to me. And she doubted it for I don’t know…maybe the first 30 minutes of foreplay. But then after that, I kissed her and I brought her close to me and held her and started to make love to her and her body just responded and she said, ‘Oh Joe let’s just make love.’ That would be an example of a woman who really was queer with me.
That’s not what happen with Lacey and Lem. He would have been watching her analyzing her and some degree vice versa for a while. Hours, days, weeks hopefully not years.
Whereas Lacey and Lem…I am away cheating and she’s waiting for me to come home to see me…and we’re supposed to be serious…and Lem loses his patience and it’s not because he’s drunk. It’s because he finds her too attractive and they’re too in love for him not to do something and I mean if he was straight, he was sex starved. I don’t know what you want me to say I’ve already said that several times and people don’t want to hear it. That doesn’t mean it’s not true. It just means that it’s confusing and scary to them. There are a lot of gay men who like to think that they pass as straight or bisexual men who like to think that they pass as straight to Lacey snd other people. That they don’t they still seem gay to her or anyone else. And then there are a lot of gay men who like to think that you could never exaggerate gay mannerisms, that they’re just somehow inborn but that’s absolute bullshit. There is a vibe that bisexual and gay men have and pansexual, but it isn’t just gay mannerisms. Those can sometimes be authentic but a lot of times they’re faked…just like how women affect their voice to sound sexier.
It’s not all real…get a grip. And sometimes maybe it is. And for some people it is. …But for most gay people it’s a façade, and they might really be gay or bisexual, but that probably isn’t their natural way of speaking.
What happened with them was that he went shopping with her and probably at one point was in a dressing room with her and she assumed that it didn’t mean anything because Lacey is very smart and she would’ve thought at first that he was gay even in the 1940s or 50s. There were many gay men in Hollywood and I’m sure she would’ve known some. Her aunt had a haute couture clothing store that catered to moviestars I have a very strong suspicion she would’ve known some gay men and known their mannerisms and thought, ‘Oh, Lem is just gay and I’ve I’ve undressed in front of gay men before, I’ve done fittings. Maybe he even has an opinion on how this dress fits.’ And in the process of examining her body he would’ve developed an appetite, we’ll say. And it would’ve been in this very Marilyn Monroe type of way except Lacey is not Marilyn, and she would have accidentally aroused him.
And no, he would’ve restrained himself as he did with many other women. But they would’ve gotten along very well and so then when they’re done shopping and they’re tired and they’re putting things away presumably in her suitcase and she’s pestering him he’s exhausted. So…so he lays on her bed genuinely exhausted and she’s exhausted too and so she just lays next to him and they start talking, and then Lem gets an idea in his head and just decides to roll over and start making love to her.” says Joe. “And I’m sure part of it is just what would this be like and nothing much is going to happen. She’s probably not gonna find me that attractive. But..I wonder-I also think he would’ve really known what he was doing…because Lem’s not stupid. And she was in love with him, but she was trying not to be, and he was more in love with her than she was with him, but she was in love with him enough that…no they just start making love and then that’s the end of me.”
“So Lem you got a whiff of the chocolate cake and you thought, ‘I’ll just take a little slice. Just a little slice!’ And…Joe just left it sitting there and you thought ‘There’s no way he’s just leaving it sitting here! I’m starving!’ Except he really was and you thought, ‘So what’s the harm in just taking a little slice. Just a tiny little slice, just a slice.’ And then there goes Lem. Because he was probably extremely hungry, poor thing. And so then no he took a slice because she’s not cake and the cake said, ‘Please eat me! I want to be eaten!’ and so he’s like, ‘What?! The cake wants me to eat it just me alright, then that’s OK. Because that’s between me and the cake.’” says a gay man. “And suddenly we would’ve seen that Lem was a straight man if he was straight and that probably would’ve left Jack flabbergasted not really anyone else, though which is interesting.”
“You know, I think a woman that could discover the Illuminati could probably figure out that Lem was straight, if he was an extraordinarily rare exception, historically speaking. Or was he that rare? Are there a lot of people like that that Lacey can somehow detect because as someone else said she sees patterns. And if she focuses on detail and nuance to that extent that she could find the Illuminati even in a story the concept is possible…she probably could sense that he was straight. And I have a feeling that’s common to her to see the exceptions. I mean F. Scott Fitzgerald figured out that Sheila Graham was a fraud. And she had a lot of people fooled. They believed her and if the whole gay rights movement had hinged on Sheila Graham being a British aristocrat, don’t think it would’ve been easy for F. Scott Fitzgerald to have that conversation with her. But people do lie people, people do make mistakes. And things do happen. There there are many exceptions and that’s part of what The Great Gatsby is actually about. And yet they are exceptions and sometimes they can be great and sometimes they can be tragic. Sometimes they could be both. But you can’t make these assumptions safely. Some assumptions are fairly safe to make, and should be made but you can’t make too many assumptions, especially when it comes to someone’s safety or national security or leader ship of a secret society that requires an incredibly sane mind. I don’t think it’s weird to think that one might’ve actually been straight and faking being gay if Lacey sees it and she’s not even the one who came up with it, he told her that. That’s not something we talk about it at this wasn’t Lacey’s idea. She thought he was bisexual or pansexual, or that he somehow it becomes straight in the afterlife in Purgatory.
I repeat: Lacey thought that he was bisexual, pansexual, or that he had somehow become straight in purgatory. That was what she originally thought was happening when she first was falling in love with him. And in her novel, that’s what he was going to be bisexual but in love with her more than Jack. But then she heard some one tell her that he was straight, simile him or him and someone and people the illuminati attach themselves to that thinking that they found someway to attack her. And whether that’s because they thought Oldham can’t possibly be straight, this is gonna ruin everything and we can torture her with us. Steal her teddy bear. Treat her like some sort of child hostage because I think there are a lot of boomers in illuminati who like to think of Lacey that way even though she’s basically a 40 year old woman, she’s 39. But they don’t like to think of millennials as grown-ups anyway. And the problem is she probably was confused by it but it could’ve actually been him telling her that in a way that she couldn’t hear like this is what really happened but it’s really hard to believe let’s not talk about it just let’s just go with me being bisexual or even pan. And if he was straight, God was just like no you were straight and we’re gonna get into a discussion now.
If he was straight, she doesn’t know, but if he was straight, oh boy, he told her that, and it’s actually been one long history of lamb Lassen for over a year now of her, asking him questions, and him happily answering her lovingly answering her, and I was just saying that’s not true that’s not real no, no no. And her trying to be humble and open and submissive to God saying OK well, maybe it’s true I don’t know that’s forgot to figure out I got already knows rather that’s what she said. And she’s just going with whatever God shows her because that’s what she does in. This whole thing is confusing to her anyway. Anne has been out for about seven years. But she’s like OK he’s not bisexual. He’s straight and that’s confusing to me too but I’m figuring it out and she listened. Probably literally dozens of times to the recording of him and Jack and excruciatingly so putting herself through the ringer, emotionally and ways that I don’t even know if some of your capable of. And she hears the difference between his voice and an actual gay or bisexual, or pansexual man’s voice. He sounds straight and a lot of you don’t wanna think she even has a brain so it’s hard for you to hear her say that. Are you and I think she’s a child and she’s stupid or just a child but she’s not. She’s an extraordinarily intelligent in Ford year-old woman, and she’s analyzing in a way that I don’t even know if you guys are intellectually capable of with your dishonesty. And it’s left the United States. Vulnerable because Ploen thinks y’all are losers and that lens probably just right now. Either way. I know there are a lot of people in the world that see it that way unfortunately for you or not.” says a CIA agent.
“You guys think you’re the moral majority of the whole universe and that you can speak on my behalf, and that is fundamentally untrue.” says Lem.
“ but as I was saying, you don’t get it. He told her he was straight. He may be even adamantly insisted that he was straight over a year ago. and it has been one long process of him explaining know that’s a mannerism that’s not real look at my feet look at my legs look at my hands isn’t that weird? And what else does it seem like? I wanna fuck you right now!?” says that CIA agent. “ maybe we’ve clocked it and you guys have two but you don’t like it she’s getting aroused by him when she looks at him, she doesn’t get aroused by gay men. Pete doesn’t arouse her her. His husband doesn’t arouse her maybe very slightly but that’s because he might be very slightly bisexual. But it’s very slight and it’s not. I mean nothing really has probably ever happened and honestly if it has, there’s your proof that he’s not 100% gay. And that was a while ago that was probably over a year ago and honestly it was an accident for both of them and I don’t even think anything really happened but I think in conversation he was maybe trying to explore his heterosexual side with her and then something happened and some thing was said and they both were affected and then they just stop talking because it was getting too weird. That’s barely anything and it was more of an accident. I’m sure they’ve recovered and they’re fine now it was an accident whether they should’ve recovered or not. It was it was it was an accident either way. But the point is there are probably a lot of technically bisexual. People in both straight and gay communities. And I don’t know if Lem really was bisexual. I have a feeling that Mike might’ve been. I don’t know that Lem was.
Yeah, it was like what the heck just happened I’m a roast they both said, and then that was the end of their conversation. And I might even be funny, because nothing happened and it was an accident and I have empathy for that. But I don’t think that’s what happened with One, and I think he was trying to explain to her that he was straight if he was straight, and that just his entire persona was a sham.” says the CIA agent.
“ except I’m really is a sweetheart that was not fake.” says his sister.
“ yeah, I believe that.” says a man. “ but the point was that she isn’t really aroused by gay men she gets aroused by straight men, and that was probably what long was trying to tell her was that he was like is that weird I’m arousing to you maybe that’s because I was strays, and I was actually micro signaling for a female attention, and no one read it.”
“ how did no one read it?” asks a Boomer.
“ well, I would’ve if I was a woman. It is possible Jack did too.” says Joe. “ and that was part of his sadistic prank was that he really thought Lem’s actually could be with a woman, and that was part of it was so exciting to him as a malignant narcissist.”
“ yeah, a lot of the account of Lem’s rests on a malignant narcissistic perspective of him and that’s the problem. There’s very little excepted story of lamb being straight, because that ruins the narrative.” says Mrs. Koppelman.
“people are far more clever than we want to admit. And it’s not just because they ‘woke.’” says Lem.
“ so she truly sees what you’re saying when you tell her that oh this is just a matter is it she truly sees it?” asks JFK in denial.
“ yeah if that’s really all that it was Jack she sees it too just like you and I didn’t at times in private conversation when you try to say to me that’s not real that’s not your real voice. Why do you talk that way? And I’d say that’s just how I feel as though I should speak I want to be honorable. And you would think that was absurd if I could act straight I should act straight, but you didn’t question it to far did you because if you had you might’ve talked me into getting married to a woman and you never did that you never tried to talk me into marrying a woman the conversation always ended right before you have to start doing that to be a good friend. Or to be accountable for what you were doing, and make sense of it in a rational adult way. You always just said I support you. It’s fine I support you being gay that’s cool go ahead because if you’d questioned it too much more I might’ve stopped and you didn’t really want that you wanted me to be gay so you pretended to be supportive, but in reality, you desperately needed me to be gay, and you cultivated that narrative in my mind in a weird subtle ways that I’m sure you think we’re super clever to Lacey they probably seem stupid although she probably wouldn’t hold against me that I could notice what you were doing because what was I supposed to be doing babysitting you? We were supposed to be the same age I was supposed to be your equal wasn’t supposed to be your father you fuck wad!” says Lem. “ there are many photos at your wedding where I look like your father the way I have my hands on your shoulder. I look proud of you not in love with you. And I was proud of you in a weirdly paternal way. And it wasn’t because I was in love with you or attracted to you. It was because I literally felt so much paternal towards you because you were such a child all the time. And I let it go because I thought that’s just the nature of our relationship that gay relationship we were having that I would be more of a man and you’d be kind of the fuck you know a woman or some thing I don’t know. But no I wasn’t your husband you weren’t my wife I wasn’t your dad you were just expecting me to take care of you and watch you all the time or some thing like some sadistic freak. Because you were an adult jack you were an adult and I was your age.
I wasn’t Jackie‘s father-in-law. Joe was her father-in-law, and he found her attractive I vaguely did, but not that much. No, I thought I had a friend I thought I cared about you. I thought I loved you. I didn’t realize until later that I loved a man who didn’t exist and the little that I actually loved you wasn’t love it was it was agape love, and you tricking me into thinking that we were friends. And it’s not easy for her to believe that I really just misunderstood our friendship and thought it was a real forget me be in love with you I thought we had a friendship that wasn’t real. I just loved you as a person probably wanted to love you as a friend and then you blew it for being a total asshole and pulling into thinking that you were some of that possibly never even existed. Do you know Jack whenever me and That check whenever purposely try to ruin that experience for me or room that date or room that job or he didn’t read it that way when he said that to Jackie over dinner but you did you did meet all those things you were trying to demobilize me from ever leaving you. And then people exonerating you because you were the little golden boy thought it was me that there was something wrong with me that I was just a flop of a human being.
Why doesn’t he seem gay enough? Why is he gay if he’s straight? Why doesn’t ever do anything with his life? He seems intellectual, but he doesn’t at the same time you what is wrong with him he’s like a nobody do you know why she said that she said that because she was offended that I wasn’t more attracted to her she was offended that you were probably in love with me and cheating on her.
And that’s the thing I didn’t necessarily initially think that you would cheat on Jackie with me, but I thought if this is what he hast to do to be faithful, that’s what he hast to do and somehow it all works out he sleeps with me occasionally we were really sleeping together, but I do things for him occasionally, and then he sleeps with women and I didn’t think you were an exception I just I thought as in love with him as she is she knows what he’s she’s getting herself into to some extent. And I think she knew that I was servicing you and she just thought well I don’t know that’s just weird, but it was just like an eccentric habit and I cared about hurting her feelings a lot more than you did. You didn’t give two shits, and I might’ve tried to explain that to her believe it or not that you just didn’t care, but that’s just who you were that you had a hard time being faithful. And she she didn’t like that but she was in love with you and she thought OK well I’ll just let it go.
I have never slept with a woman. And I thought that Jackie had, and that it was very hard if you were gay cause I didn’t believe in by sexuality, I thought there was only gay and straight. I thought all gay men probably were bisexual. And so I thought you know Jack can’t do it you can’t be faithful to women and that’s OK. He just needs me to be helpful to him as a friend and I didn’t do it because I was in love with him I didn’t do it because I was attracted to him. I helped him cheat because I thought that it was rational. I thought that he needed to have some male sexual interaction more than I did actually well I didn’t need it at all but I could tell that he needed it I didn’t, but I could tell that he did. And so I thought well I can do this. There were women that he was with or I did back off, and I tried to be as distant as possible. Inga might’ve been one of them. But Jackie was for the presidency. I thought she might’ve been a Golddigger. And I knew he was probably sleeping with other men too. That’s the thing I didn’t think he was being faithful to me, but I just thought that I was being faithful to my first love. As much as a you know, decrepit, gay man could be because I knew that he was gonna have to probably Maria woman, but it was just like well he’s not that love and he’s not being faithful to her. He wants to sleep with lots of other women, and better them than me. Really I often tried to get women for him because I didn’t want to sleep with him myself and I should’ve just ended the friendship and realize that I was enabling him to hurt people. I actually didn’t make exceptions for them. I thought he was a terrible person at a certain level. And in someways, I was being held hostage, if you want to know the honest truth. They describe me as a hangar otter. No, I knew were all the bodies were buried so they had to sit in some ways they had to keep me on retainer against my will. But mostly, I was just checking his dick. Take sure Jack I’ll get you off, knowing that there are other men that the women that it was hurting people. I was just sure Jack that’s what you need. I’ll be your friend. Sure, I’ll do that sure.
And you may ask your self how in good conscience could I have done that and been a decent honorable man? It wasn’t love it wasn’t friendship it was to some degree death threats against my family or against me. Made by JP against me in private when he was explaining things to me. You’ve got to be my friend you’ve got to do with my son asks you to do every time or you and your family will end up dead so basically suck my kids Cocker I’ll kill you. But sudden much more delicate nuanced terms. But I still had the choice I could’ve just said kill me I don’t give a shit which is what I should’ve said if that was actually said to me. Not I’ll give you millions just shut up. I should’ve said then. Just kill me. Don’t kill my family but just kill me.
But in a sense you could say I thought it’s not that bad I’m just his friend. He just needs me to help him and it was Lacey and I know we really are that honorable and so she asked question rightfully why didn’t I just let him kill me. well aside from fear for the welfare of my family… which is possibly some thing that they don’t know. They… found someone who believed in true love. And I truly was trying to be Jack’s one true love I screwed up and deformed as we both were. I never enjoyed being with him. It never worked out. But I really thought he’s mine and I have to be loyal to him. I have to be there for him. I have to nurture him take care of him, walk him through his life contribute to the Kennedy experience. They don’t need to threaten me, even though they may be did. And if he really fell in love, if he really wanted to be faithful to just her then I’ll back off work presumably just him. But that never happened either and I might have backed off with anger and maybe a few other women possibly grays to believe it or not. And maybe at first I did with Jackie ha I was smiling at their wedding for a reason if anything happened I thought well that’s the last time he’s going to be faithful to her now, or if anything happens, will just wean him off of it or something but then he called asking for sex a week or two into their marriage and I said no but then he kept persisting and I did hold off but I thought it’s OK it’s just a thing we can you know work with it and I tried. I tried to wean him off and date other men but now it’s just never worked out and I thought all right that’s OK, he’s my first love and yes it’s what I mean by that is just that was my first sexual experience. I might’ve experimented, but maybe not to the extent that jacked it with me you know I might’ve grab some what are they grab me or something um, we had oral and, well I gave him well. I hated when he touched me I really did and I I never I never wanted it and so I didn’t get it. It wasn’t him saying I don’t wanna do that. Lame air was more him saying I don’t want to do that one. I’m not gay and me saying that’s fine. I don’t want it either. And yes, of course I thought that I was still gay. I just thought I didn’t like sex with men even though I was gay and I thought I could do it with a woman, but just part of all the prostitute idea became any idea for us I need a way to sleep with him, but he probably thought she was supposed to be our goal between. But no, I thought I just didn’t like sex even though I like sex. So it’s like I’m a sexual no I’m not I just I’m not gay but I thought I was. So I was completely fine for servicing him even though I thought he was a liar and that he was doing that to pretend to be straight because he was it allowed him to think he was straight and it allowed me not to have to engage with him, but I didn’t include that because I didn’t like talking about that because I thought that made me seem more straight and I was quite sure it was K and I didn’t want to talk about being molested. I didn’t want to talk about all of it because it was disturbing to me. Because I was straight and molested. So it allowed Jack to think he was gay. It allowed me space of not having to be touched by a man and so that’s what we did he would get off I would get him off I thought that was just me being loyal to my first, true love because before him I hadn’t had oral with anyone, and it’s possible that he tried to give me oral and it repulsed me because I’m straight and I was straight. If he had been sleeping with Lacey, OK that’s hard to talk about because it’s disturbing but I probably would’ve tried to have threesomes to be honest regularly. Oh, and then it would’ve just been her and I eventually I’m sorry I’m sorry Jack. I stole your wife because I’m straight and I am. I just didn’t like Chris Kelly that much anger was somewhat attractive, but we didn’t really have chemistry. We we would’ve though we would’ve had threesomes her and I and Jack and Haley primarily just been sleeping with her and Jackman have known what to do with that but he would’ve tried to work with it. Almost guarantee you. I wasn’t that attracted to Jackie. And no, I would have felt bad that he was cheating on her the way that I did with Jackie because I thought Jackie was kind of a mean bitch. And I would’ve thought no Lacey’s actually getting hurt. She’s not a caddy asshole. He’s just after their money and I would have probably just thought forget it so those books about Jackie and me that’s someone mocking Lacey because that’s definitely not about Jackie and when I said nice things about Jackie yeah I was lonely I was falling for her slightly, but I did like parts of her personality or her character or her body or her mind, there are times I thought about killing myself because of how much pain she was in. But I never did it for sexual gratification as hard as it is to believe I always did it, because I was a romantic, idealistic, eccentric person who thought that I was just being loyal to my first love is extraordinarily hard as it is to believe. But no, I never wanted to have a threesome with Jackie and we never did or Ethel or Joanne and intriguingly if Joe had been alive and brought Lacey home I would’ve realized that I was straight because I would’ve realize that I wasn’t attracted to Joe, but I was attracted to Lacey but no one was ever brought home in that weight in that family. I’m sorry Jackie was flat chested she didn’t have curves her face was not nearly as pretty as Lacey is an apple was the same way and Joe really wasn’t that hot either. All of Jack’s girlfriends were either bitches or they were somewhat ugly in someway. I’m sorry.
And the truth is, it’s still bothers Lacey that I didn’t care more about other peoples feelings but no, it really was because I thought I have to be faithful and loyal to this man. I committed to him as much as a gay man can commit to any other man and his sexual deranged fold up state. And we know we can’t be with women that’s not right Jackie chooses to be I can’t stop him. He wants to be to be president. He seems to be no fall in love with him and my parents think that I should be with a woman that’s some people think and I don’t think that’s right it’s my personal conviction that as a gay man that’s wrong. But Jack has political purposes, and if he can correct himself somehow by sleeping with women, then maybe we can set him straight or you know sometimes when he’s high, he really is attracted to Jackie. The time is that is so he’s high or if I can just get him to sleep with more women you know it’s like braces. We can fix his brain, but I’ll just of stain know that Lacey had been there. I went out of state it’s true I would have been able to abstain Does Jack would’ve thought it was a great idea to have a threesome and oh that’s awful but I would’ve slept with her and then that would’ve been the end of the relationship. That is possibly not something that Jack has analyzed so that that’s the end of this conversation for a while we’ll talk more tonight hopefully.” says Lem.
Later.
“I never liked Jackie. I didn’t hate well. How do I say this? I didn’t hate her I didn’t like her. I found her abrasive. She was difficult. I thought if Jack didn’t love the woman that I had her right to question it to a point. And that he was mine really but only to appoint and then you know if you found someone really great I would let go because I really wouldn’t have it right to hang on because that’s not the way we’re supposed to be. But so then there were some women that I would try to be more careful with if Jack was dating them. Hi it’s sad no I I don’t think we should see each other this weekend Jack or I would just refused to suck his cock like no you should be asking Jean to do that not me, and in some peoples case they would put out And so then it wasn’t really a problem but in Jackie‘s case she, Siri put out for him the way that he wanted and so then he’d come asking me and I thought she had a right to do that but then he’s come asking me. That actually might’ve been one of the reasons I didn’t like her was that she made me get them off and I didn’t want to. That sounds like a contradiction but it’s not because it wasn’t about sex. It wasn’t about companionship it was about some sense of propriety and honor that I had and so when I sucked his cock, it was mechanical and it didn’t do anything for me at all, but even emotionally I just felt as though that was my duty has his one, and only true love in my imagination. So it was different. Every time it was different every woman that he dated it was different some I would say I don’t think we should hang out because then you know something might happen. I might’ve thought, but really if so, if I did, just know what to see him that weekend, then, you know I don’t know have fun sailing or something I would just think well I’ll just have to say no when I did but it was some women if they didn’t put it out and he needed help or he thought he needed it and I believed him I thought, OK, you physically need it Then I would put out for medical reasons so you know because I thought he needed it.
no really that might’ve been one of the reasons I didn’t like Jackie because I thought Boldt what is she doing? She just she doesn’t care about him at all. She doesn’t understand that he needs it. and no, I constructed this idea in my head where he needed it for physical reasons and probably emotional reasons too but I didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about that because I didn’t want that from him and I was never in love with him in that way I try to be at first, I tried to love him anything we could egg but I am I lost interest in that after about the first year or two of being his friend and then I just realize that I couldn’t feel that for him romantically at all. And I gave up on that idea between us. I thought I don’t have romantic feelings for him that I would have for a woman I thought there was love her, but that it was the kind of love that mattered only be capable of for each other, which is just the sort of Camaraderie that I never thought love was him likely to ever amount to anything all that grand between a man and women anyway, but certainly not between two men. When I said, I loved him my whole life that’s what I meant that I loved him in this camaraderie sort of friendship way and I later regretted that statement for a lot of reasons, but certainly because I realize that that wasn’t really love that I was never really in love with him.
No, I didn’t want to put up. I was mad at Jackie that she made me a silly as that might sound. If Lacey had been there, I would’ve backed off, but then she would’ve wanted to go deeper with him and he would’ve started to get scared. And I would’ve been called to help. And Lacey would’ve automatically know what was going on even if she could put it into words. And then we would have fallen in love. Jack wouldn’t have cared because she would’ve made him not nervous the more I think about it I think she would’ve just made him nervous and he would’ve been glad to just get rid of me and I would’ve been glad to go.
It might seem strange that I slept with him, but I didn’t really wanna sleep with him, but I really just side as like work and it’s like why was an I am more attracted to other people I just wasn’t. I just wasn’t that attracted to that any vehicle, I really am not picky of a man. No I’m very picky but it isn’t picky. It’s just I know what I like. That sounds absurd but I actually really did. I knew what I like. I just don’t think I could have it or shed. No there was anyone quite likely see other people who looked like her, but they weren’t exactly her, I just thought Jack needed help and I just wanted to help him. You know I need socks I need socks lame Jack is not putting out. She doesn’t get me off or I need socks lol I’m at Jackie‘s busy or I don’t have a funeral so then it’s like OK Jack let’s find some women for you because I don’t want to do it, you know sometimes it was that I was dating someone that wasn’t going well anyway but other times it was just that I really didn’t want to do it. And you might ask yourself why would you do that you know why would you do that well because I really am that self restraint, and I didn’t think he was as good of a man as me and that way I didn’t think I was uptight, but I thought I was a better man than him. And I may have had some classist explanations for that. Which seems contradictory. But I was just screwed up. I wasn’t quite that much of a contradiction as a person by nature.” says Lem.
Silence.
“More later.” says Lem.
Later.
People need to stop threatening Lacey. Maybe there isn’t an Illuminati. I really hope there isn’t. I really hope she’s just mildly psychotic talking to ghosts. That would actually be a far happier scenario because it would mean that these are just demons not people that are harassing her. She’s seen so many things that are supernatural, but that could be attributed to an illuminati if it existed and she’s seeing things that are supernatural that couldn’t be like things, moving or hearing Elliott’s voice before she never heard his voice. But I am tired of it because during her entire dentist appointment, she was harassed by people demons who insist that I was gay just a tiny bit or the jack somehow made me gay just a tiny bit and before that they’re insisting that I am evil in someway that’s a betrayal of her trust in me as a human as her lover, as her husband essentially for eternity. And the problem is it’s not fair. I can’t fully explain myself. I can explain somewhat, but not as much as she deserves, or possibly as much as I even deserve to be able to. And so all she knows is what she knows and I’d like to explain a little more but first I’d like to point out that she word Jo Malone, English, oak and hazelnut and her x-ray tech absolutely adored it. The woman usually wears poison by Dior, but she thought Jo Malone, English oak and hazelnut was Really good.” says Lem. He laughs.
“I didn’t take Jack from other women. I never tried to steal him back, and I didn’t invite myself over if I did it certainly wasn’t with the intent of sucking his cock and if it was, it was an attempt to try to be gay sometimes I would tell myself all of this time I might like it, I know maybe with an ex-boyfriend it’ll be better but not really I never really thought it would be that much better I think I thought maybe if I fell love more with someone, it would be better or if I could fall more in love with Jack, you’ll be better, but truthfully, I I just sort of acquiesced to it. I just thought that it was my lot life. I didn’t think that I was ever going to be that happy. Or that satisfied to use a euphemism. Because how could I be I couldn’t be I really I just couldn’t be. I was straight, and there was no way I could be satisfied with what was going on with Jack or anyone else.”
Keen to Cross the Pond 