I Love Our History

Pyramid Song by Radiohead plays.

“I love our history.” says Lem to Lacey.

England.

Lacey’s family who raised her doesn’t find her approvable.

Lacey’s aunt on Tom’s side…finds Lacey…incredibly predictable. Because she seems exactly like them. In the best sense.

“Of course I love her.” says Lacey’s aunt. She scowls. “I hate to dwell on it. It crushes me.” She fights back tears. “When she was a little girl she used to draw tons and tons of dresses. If I was dead by that time…I very much had something to do with that. She spent hours trying on dresses. She also loved to change her dresses. She’d wear one dress go into the living room and spin around in circles and then she’d go change into something else and then she go back into living room spin around in a few circles and then go back into her bedroom and change into something else and then go spin around in circles again…and this was a pattern with her. Everyday. She loved clothing, absolutely loved fashion! New Age people don’t have it right there really is God one God and it’s the Jesus of Christianity but if there is Purgatory then in certain circumstances, I don’t know how to begin to explain but it’s not-It’s not like New Age theology.”

“So you spent hours entertaining her when she was a little kid with dresses and you two would sit around and you’d draw dresses together. Was she any good?” asks a psychic in shock.

“Yes, she was brilliant, but there was no one in her life who understood that or appreciated it, and so nothing came of it. When she was in college she tried to design and sew dresses for her friends. She’s even tried to make a few for herself, but she’s not very good at sewing.

There was a dress for her cousin’s wedding that she designed and picked the material out for and then an expert seamstress used her drawings and created the dresses. They were very stylish are appropriate and very becoming on both of them and her and her younger first cousin were candle lighters, in her older first cousin’s wedding, and I would say that’s probably when her life took a turn for the worse.” says Lacey’s aunt.

“What was the name of your store in Hollywood?“ asks a German.

“Schick’s, I owned it. Shick’s.” says Lacey’s aunt.

“So you love Lacey as her aunt. But does she understand the concept of your love or not?” asks a psychic.

“No! No, she has no idea, because she loves people. She’s she’s she’s a genuine person and she genuinely loves people in a totally normal healthy way. …But if she were to experience that from me, it would be very weird for her. It would be like how when she gave birth to her kids, they looked like her in a way that was strange to her because she didn’t look that much like either of her parents and her personality isn’t that much like either of her parents who raised her but her kids are a lot like her so by that same sort of experience that she’s had…she would wonder if I was real because she couldn’t believe someone could love her the way she loves other people. She’d think I was just a figment of her imagination at first because that is how bad her life has gotten, so to speak. When she was younger-I don’t hate her family that raised her but I am livid right now, excuse me.” says Lacey’s aunt.

“I do understand! And I knew she was like that the second I met her!” says Kathy, smiling. “I am her great aunt in that N family and I owned a clothing store as well. Actually I owned two of them and we weren’t like Schick’s but you know I had great taste and eventually I was a buyer for Neiman Marcus and I worked with several other elite clothing stores in the Minneapolis area, I was a very successful buyer. I don’t I didn’t speak to her mother for years and I feel very bad for Lacey today. Her aunt and I’ve had many long conversations.” says Kathy N..

“How weird is it that Lacey’s aunts is probably older than you and it’s just her aunt?” asks a Millennial actress.

“You know it’s not that weird once you’re dead. I think it would have been a little shocking to me but not as shocking as you might think.

If Lacey is actually physically illegitimate I wouldn’t have been surprised because to discover that because she really looks very different than her mother. There’s a very slight resemblance but they really do look quite different and maybe she’s not illegitimate and then it’s interesting isn’t it? …But no, they look they look very different. She looks different than both of her parents. There’s a mole on her face that similar to her father who raised her but other than that there’s really almost very few real similarities and their personalities are markedly different. …She’s a very different person than both of her parents who raised her. …I am someone who notices stuff like that, I am a very observant person.” says Kathy.

“What’s your actual name? Is it Catherine or Kathleen?” asks Wobbly, outraged.

“It’s Kathleen. My name is Kathleen but I go by Kathy.” says Kathy.

“I’m not even going to bother asking why that is so shocking to him. It’s so stupid that it should be.” says a psychic.

“Well that doesn’t mean anything! Its just a coincidence and let me tell you something there are a lot of coincidences but that doesn’t mean anything! You know what else?! I really doubt her name is Kathleen.

Your name is not Kathleen, is it?! It really isn’t! You’re making that up! No, she’s she’s making up and there’s a lot of other stuff that she’s making up. She’s making up all of that-shut up Bill! I don’t wanna hear it. I don’t wanna hear it.” says Wobbly.

“I was possibly trying to tell Wobbly that it’s a fact, an indisputable fact that the oil exists and that Kathleen was real. That was her name and that’s fact…but he doesn’t want to hear that because he thinks that I am controlling reality, literally.” says a Bill.

“How does he think that you’re controlling reality? What does he like think you’re doing? I mean, does he know or does he just suspect that you’re controlling reality?” asks a reader.

“He knows that her family exists to some degree, but the rest he just explains away with conspiracy theories to discredit her character to I would say sadistic degrees or he thinks that it’s like sci-fi. Like a sci-fi movie where he thinks it’s just witchcraft. Not like you know the witchcraft that helps him but like the witchcraft the Catholic Church hates when he decides to be Catholic for five seconds to feel indignant.” says a Bill.

“‘Wobbly, I am your father and I gave you heroin to kill you. It’s your shot Wobbly…but it’s not a vaccine.’” jokes a psychic in the Illuminati.

“That is creepy. Actually that really is creepy. Bill…connecting the dots…do you…you find Lacey attractive and she finds you attractive and you two just aren’t involved because you think that it’s disrespectful…if the illuminati exists to have a fake telepathic relationship. You both think that’s cruel and she does too, but you guys do find each other attractive and Wobbly knows that?” asks an Illuminati psychic.

“Yes, yes. And the truth is she seemingly is genuinely involved with ghosts and I understand that as a scientist as someone who has studied the occult, as someone who has studied a lot of things very thoroughly I I actually think it’s possible, and I have respect for it because I see how it’s possible. Of course other people do too. See, once you’re exposed to what we’ve been exposed to if there’s an Illuminati and you’ve seen things almost levitate we’ll say…you realize how unlikely it is that there’s not God.” says a Bill.

“Awkward!!” says Casi.

“How is it awkward?” asks a man of Casi.

“Because if Lacey likes Bill because somehow he’s one of the few men who are appropriate for her and she’s 40 so I highly doubt that it’s like a pedophile like thing for him. I have a feeling that he just likes younger women but not like teenagers not like children and I think that’s what happened to a lot of these people is that some people were into children and then some people just liked 19 or 20 year old women, and they weren’t looking for children. They just thought that like beautiful young women were attractive and he’s possibly possibly not, I don’t know this for a fact but I am I’m conjecturing, not actually attracted to children and Wobbly probably knows that. I have a feeling he’s known that for a while and when did she first start ‘noticing Bill’ because if it was back in 2016…then that makes sense. And yet you guys never contact her which is interesting even if you exist and I suspect you do but it’s weird how you guys like talk to her in a very psychologically sadistic way and then you never really find a way to like actually talk to her in person. I don’t know who decided that in your organization but that’s really weird and I’m sure you’re just hoping that someday she’ll be diagnosed schizophrenic or just die of something…but you guys are idiots. That was an idiotic way to of handling her and I’m sure that you had psychics contact psychics to reach out to her to try to explain that it’s it’s just you know New Age stuff. I feel like I’ve seen them manifest in the perfume community and weirdly be overly nice to her and other people too because I do stalk her and I’ve seen it and it’s weird but you know…I highly doubt that that’s gonna be effective. I think you probably needed someone to actually explain to her what’s going on and it’s sad that you have put some code of honor or something over common sense.

So he can’t actually contact her because I was feeling like he would like to. And all that to say all that to say what it looks like. It looks like Lem is probably taller and there’s a slight difference, but Bill looks like Lem. He looks like Louis. He looks like Michael. He looks like Harold Loeb. He’s her type and I would go so far as to say that there’s something about him personality-wise that reminds you Wobbly of Lem, except Bill is straight and that’s really super confusing isn’t it?! And then he finds Lacey attractive…and then there’s a lot-I mean a lot of mind blowing…mind blowing…fucking mind blowing stuff! We will uncover the secrets…eventually.” says Casi in a rage.

What Up Gangsta by 50 Cent plays.

Mr. Blue dressed in football gear to show off his butt for the Bat Crew…runs down a football field at night. It’s lit. Literally.

Mr. Blue throws a football and Batgirl III dressed as cheerleader cheers him on. She’s thrilled to be included by him. She feels she’s arrived.

Then a huge cake is carried onto the field. By a forklift.

The Bat Crew and Wobbly stare at the cake waiting. The liberals drive up in their various Mercedes, Bentleys…a few Audis. A Hummer. One black Tesla. They make a loud “cool” scene arriving and parking and finding their seats.

You Don’t Know by 50 Cent plays.

When the audience settles down…Mr. Blue darts into the cake.

The smile on his face is…enormous.

He flails around. He smashes the cake with his whole body, laughing.

Pieces of cake and frosting spread all over the ground.

The audience is…confused.

“Is this supposed to be pedophilic?! …Ahh…is this supposed to be imitating a child smashing a cake or or what is this?!” whispers an American Illuminati member.

“Yeah…it is…this-“ says an American actor.

“I’m confused!” scoffs an elite American socialite in the liberal crowd.

“Is there a brochure??” jokes a Millennial actor.

“A pamphlet!” jokes a woman.

“Is there, is there a guide?” asks an actress in the liberal American Illuminati.

And at that Batgirl III walks out in front of the cake and starts doing cheers that she remembers from high school, literally.

It’s 2016.

Mr. Blue starts eating the cake with his hands. He is enamored by the taste of the cake, which is actually not surprising considering that it’s a wedding cake, and it was made by an excellent baker, gourmet.

Batgirl III is cheered on by the audience because they don’t know what’s going on, and highly suspect that this is part of some sort of interactive conceptual art that they themselves have become a part of and it’s thrilling to them on an aesthetic existential level.

Batgirl III loves the attention and runs with it, literally doing made-up dances and random shaking. It’s embarrassing objectively, but no one seems to realize that shockingly enough…most of all her.

“So where did Mr. Blue get the wedding cake from?“ asks David Rockefeller after a few minutes with a deep sense of impending doom.

“Ireland! Ireland actually, it was made in Boston by Irish chefs. It’s an Irish cake.” says Kick Kennedy’s ghost, crying.

David does not consciously see or hear her but he gets very startled and freaked out by it. He goes silent, shaking…and has to excuse himself to go sit and stare in some unknown fear in his car. Alone.

Inception by Hans Zimmer plays…on David Rockefeller’s car stereo. He weeps. He…can’t place why.

And unknown to them the crowd outside dances in perfect harmony to the music…in David’s car.

What…are…they…accidentally…conjuring?

Joe Kennedy Junior’s ghost weeps. Watching.

It was his wedding cake. From the wedding he’d planned to have with Lacey when she died.

“Why are we doing this?” Batgirl III whispers to Mr. Blue. Caught up in the art they believe they’re a part of, almost no one sees her.

“It’s a code of honor.

I just had a psychic sexual experience with a woman in Minnesota…and you know…”. He sighs. “I don’t I don’t give two shits about her. But I feel like this is what I need to do just…to honor the dead animal she now is.

This is what my guides told me to do. I asked them and they said, ‘Go get a cake! Go to Soho, walk down the street and it’ll appear. And it did!

It was in a van, the doors were open…and so I got a forklift. I put it on the forklift…and I said ‘I am taking this cake!’

The rest is just about sex and drugs and the usual, you know the drill…but the cake the cake…is for us” he says to Batgirl III, drawing her close and kissing her lips.

She smiles and cries. “We are so messed up but I love you. And I’ll love you forever! This cake should be ours. Shhh! Don’t let anyone know, no one will understand.”

“I know we both are so different than most people. …I don’t think anyone could understand the kind of love that we have for each other…but that cake should be our cake and this should be our wedding. I’m sorry I can’t figure out how to end my marriage without losing almost everything I have.” says Mr. Blue to Batgirl III.

“Who’s cake was it? Where did you find it though? It just manifested?” asks Batgirl III.

“Yeah, I really think it just manifested.” says Mr. Blue.

“Wow honey, that’s amazing. It’s amazing what we are able to conjure now!! Oh my gosh, you are becoming such a guru! So deep! You are my hero, you really are. I love you. I love you so much!” says Batgirl III.

And at that the whole of the They in the Illuminati starts eating the cake. Except for David, who sits in his car listening to the end of Hans Zimmer.

Watching…Lem Billings hears Inception by Zimmer play in the air…to absolute perfection. He’s dead. It’s gorgeous…real…science fiction that isn’t fiction…but just…reality.

What’s a man to do?

Armies of warring angels from Heaven fight with demons in a battle dance. On the sidelines.

It’s…stunning.

Within a year David Rockefeller dies.

“I’m done!!! We’re off the table! It’s OVER!!!” yells David on the other side. It’s not a threat. It’s a promise.

All Of Me performed by Sidney Bechet plays.

Joe Kennedy Jr. gets tapped on the back by Patricia Wilson. Next to the bleechers.

“Hey hot stuff!” says Pat. She shakes her shoulders suggestively.

Kick looks dismayed, horrified and yet…helplessly pleased. She likes Pat.

“You’re you’re dead, this is real?!” asks Joe, dryly.

“Yes, it’s real. I promise!” says Pat breathlessly.

“We conjured her!” says Wobbly patting Joe Kennedy Jr. Bobby Kennedy Jr.’s uncle on the back. “Isn’t that great?!” He says with a grin. He’s excited. He feels a sense of accomplishment. “I don’t know who the fuck you are either…but let me tell…buddy, you don’t worry about that little shit. Whoever that bitch is, don’t worry.” he says flirtatiously. “I don’t know.” He shrugs. “Mr. Blue says that he got a cake from some place where no one was eating it…and it was just sitting there in a van. And then this jackass piece of shit whore just showed up…saying ‘It’s my fucking cake!’ and she claims that you owned the cake with her. Some ahh…fucking shit like that. Let me tell you buddy…I’ve slept with so many fucking bitches in my life…hundreds of them. OK? I know one when I see one! That bitch is a hoe. I doubt you really know her at all. Fuck that shit! Fuck that shit! …I fucking hate her guts! …Don’t worry…we hooked you up! It’s all good! This woman!” Wobbly looks at Pat Wilson and grins. “You! …Tell me…are you a princess?” says Wobbly seriously.

“You keep trying to sleep with that bitch yourself don’t you? And she keeps saying no?” wonders Joe Kennedy Jr. to Wobbly.

“I mean yeah but so what? It isn’t clouding my judgment! And just where the fuck did you come from, asshole!? You’re not my father you crap!” says Wobbly.

“No, I am not a princess I am a peasant. I actually am commoner. No, I was never a princess.” says Pat forlornly.

“No, she’s not a princess. But she was my wife in the eyes of God tho we never married.” says Joe Jr..

Surprised by Joe’s response of peace, “Man you look familiar. Are you a celebrity? …Where do I know you from? You kinda look like you belong in my family. You remind me of my uncle, Joe, Joseph Kennedy Junior. I don’t know almost anything about him. He died long before I was born. I’ve seen one or two pictures of him my whole life that I remember. But you um, you resemble him. …Are you Irish? …I guess you’re from Boston? You have a strong accent!” says Wobbly laughing.

“I’m your-I’m your uncle. I’m your uncle. And this is Pat Wilson-Wilson-I am your-“. says Joe Kennedy Jr. but Wobbly doesn’t hear him. At all. So Wobbly wanders off. “FUCK!!” yells Joe in absolute shock and awe.

“He doesn’t know we’re dead, but I do and so do you.” says Pat Wilson to Joe suggestively.

“This is this is bad this is bad!” says Kick in despair as she observes them. “But at the same time I’m OK with it. Pat it is so good to see you!” says Kick as the women finally embrace in a hug.

“That-that-that was my-That was my cake! That was my cake! That was really my cake. I am almost positive that was my cake.” says Lacey, stunned.

Elvis singing An American Trilogy plays in the air.

Lem stands with Lacey in the background away from the football field.

“It…it was not your cake. When you and I made love in your sleep when we were teenagers-I was a teenager you were a teenager and we made love. That was the end of that cake…because I just couldn’t keep watching you suffer.” says Lem to Lacey as they watch from a distance.

Back at the football field.

“This was my cake! I really not OK with us! …I’m really not!” says Joe to Pat. He tries to find someone to talk to, “Where the fuck is Lacey?! Where the fuck is my fucking wife you fucking assholes.” says Joe Jr..

“It’s OK! Lover…they conjured me…and you allowed it just a little bit…and it’s over. You would’ve cheated on her and the truth is…we were in love and we still are.” says Pat, seductively.

“I’m not in Hell, this isn’t right.” says Joe Jr..

Suspicious Minds by Elvis plays in the air.

By Lacey and Lem.

“I am Michael Rockefeller. Nice to see you, nice to meet you. I am in love with you..and my cousin just died-well he will. It’s a long story.

This is Lem. Louis is over there. He’s the one with the hat. And that’s Harold Loeb! You you remember Harold Loeb from The Sun Also Rises?!

Yes Scott Fitzgerald! Yeah, yeah… No, I don’t know Scott that well…but we’re kind of friends. …Um hey…you wanna go get some ice tea? Sounds good? And banana bread? Love it, let’s do it it” says Michael Rockefeller to Lacey.

“You’re with me…” says Lem. He throws his arm around Lacey.

“But weren’t you gay? Are you not gay anymore? I suppose that’s interesting!” says Lacey with respect for God.

“Lacey…you remember making love with me.” says Lem.

“That was you. You look exactly like him.” says Lacey.

Lem smiles. “And you’re a woman. So…”

“But Lem…that’s-That makes no sense!” says Lacey.

“It does. I’ll explain!” says Lem.

“It’s OK! You’ll just move back to Minnesota. You and I both know that it’s Minnesota.

And if things don’t work out with Lem there’s always me. Always. I promise.” says Louis to Lacey.

Carolina Shout by Fats Waller plays. But it’s interrupted by Man In Black by Johnny Cash.

Batgirl III is thought by The New Yorker to be chic. They are besotted by her.

To mark the occasion a coded message is sent out in the form of a cartoon of a chic lady who’s getting a huge Tiffany setting ring from Mr. Blue. They had no idea that she was having an affair with Mr. Blue but after reading Lacey‘s blog, they found out because news spreads fast in the entertainment community and they were smitten by the idea, absolutely smitten by the idea that she was having an affair with Mr. Blue. They thought it was like some sort of real life episode of Sex And The City. So retro chic! A small town girl goes to New York City makes it big and meets the hot guy with glasses when they work together. Aww!!!!

The New Yorker sides with Batgirl III and feels that Lacey is in a petty, meaningless, idiotic fight over a cake. They believe the cake legally belongs to the Bat Crew. …And that Lacey is some dipshit narcissist from Minnesota who thinks she can afford a huge cake when clearly she can’t. She’s a snob if not! A total wuss ass bitch! Some whore who just hasn’t moved on! And is still pathetically trying to steal someone else’s cake and they’re not quite sure who’s cake it is after having lawyers try to look into ibut they’re positive it isn’t Lacey’s.

The New Yorker if the Illuminati exists…is still hoping to give Batgirl III her ultimate dream wedding to Mr. Blue.

“Why haven’t you just moved on?! Batgirl III got married and not to Mr. Blue you idiot, and they look profoundly happy in a way that I don’t think you understand how to be you cognitively inferior piece of shit!” says The New Yorker to Lacey.

“No, I’m sorry, I have moved on!” says Lacey getting ready to lose her temper.

“She’s totally moved on. Trust me. …I hope Batgirl III is happy with her husband but it’s a little suspicious, don’t you think, that he looks like me…because you know…he’s not me. You know that? Right?!” says Lem.

Myth by Beach House plays as the staff of The New Yorker at the event back away towards the bleechers. They all have texts on their cellphones saying, “Relocate backwards.” from their legal offices.

“Were you to thinking of killing his wife and she doesn’t realize that” asks a reader of Mr. Blue.

“No, I mean we wouldn’t want to kill her but we had…plans…but it just never worked out. There was no way for me to divorce my wife without her taking over 50% of what I have and she insists on living in a delusional world where I am, or was far more in love with her than I really was or am. We were in love for a while when we first met in college but things change, people change and she can’t accept that and we stay together because at the end of the day I really do still love her…because I really did love her…I just I’m not as in love with her as I used to be. I really was madly in love with Batgirl III. We really were an item for over a year. I had other people that I was seeing and women and men both and they were very protective of each other. I think they saw themselves as some kind of secret society within a secret society. But Batgirl III was my main squeeze for a while and we kept it very under-wraps and then Lacey found it. My wife found out and she hates Lacey and thinks Lacey is the bunny boiler…and I am fine with that…because it gets her off my back. And Batgirl III was threatened…because I mean I really was attracted to Lacey and that was painful for Batgirl III because she thought she had a hold on me and Lacey being better looking than her and not beneath her was extraordinarily disappointing and painful because I think she thought we were madly in love…and that really no one…no one at all would emerge.” says Mr. Blue to Joe.

“Why did you decide to start ruining peoples lives who were dead and alive both?” asks Joe.

“Do you know if I was involved even? If I wasn’t…I don’t like you and I don’t care that I ruined your life by acting stupid miles away. And beyond that…I am your biggest enemy or your biggest fan…know that! Really! And maybe I’m just angry that she broke up my relationship with Batgirl III because my wife would’ve never figured out that we were really having a real affair, and that it wasn’t just an open marriage thing.” says Mr. Blue. “If she hadn’t cared about that fucking cake.”

“That cake was OUR BLOODY SOULS!!!” yells Joe Kennedy Jr..

“I can’t help that she found me attractive!” says Mr. Blue, indignantly.

“Yes, but that’s not what happened! No, you stole her cake even if it was an accident. Because that really was her cake. It really was my cake…and you stole it. You didn’t have to steal her cake…even if she noticed you and thought you were good-looking. That’s no reason to steal someone’s cake!” says Joe.

“Why did you start talking to her telepathically if you didn’t want her to hear you talking telepathically?” asks an actress of Mr. Blue. “That’s how you found the cake right?”

“I wanted to think she was an idiot and that I could talk to her telepathically and that she wouldn’t hear anything I didn’t want her to hear.” says Mr. Blue. “Of course I found the cake that way!”

“Do you understand that that’s wrong? It’s wrong to use telepathy to steal things from people that are a value to them…and then claim that it was yours to begin with and fool entire groups of people into thinking that you didn’t. And that it was yours to begin with. You understand that stealing something from someone is wrong? Even if you don’t care…do you understand that that actually is wrong?” says Joe.

“Ahh…I’m lost!!

I have no idea what’s going on right now…and I’m angry.” says Wobbly crying. “Lem was gay and I just heard from the fucking New Yorker that someone was making out with him with a vagina near the parking lot! At least according to them it looked like the evil one was a female human being.

I know that I don’t have any proof and it’s all just what’s in my head as an impression off of things I was told by my sources…but that doesn’t matter, because when you have a magical star fairy in your heart, and the sun shines on your fingertips the rose might not bloom, but August will still come. Not because the sun rises…but because August is a month. Beware the Ides of August thus saith. Hi sus, Seth hi!

I know I eternally conjured Lem with a mutual wet dream when I was 10…after Jack was dead, don’t worry…but…I’m disturbed.

But is an I an eye…it’s definitely an Illuminati symbol. …And that is why the CIA shot my uncle! Not because the lemon was straight nor not because Jack was gay. Jack was straight love was gay…but because they hate the Irish there are no Irishman in the CIA! Go look! Wait, I checked so you don’t have to. They hated my family because we were like the Jews…except we came from Ireland.” says Wobbly nodding his head. “And that is why we love the juice. Thank you so much for your time and consideration.”

They stare.

“Was that like coded or was he just not making sense?” asks a teenager.

“No…that was just brilliant poetry from his heart. brilliansays a man in the Illuminati.

“And now…let us carry on with us merry-men, let us carry-on! And go get a cheeseburger as I’m hungry and I eat I do I eat, I’m but human.” says Wobbly.

Billionaires who like to consider themselves evolved but down to earth, superior beings…are taken off their feet into sheer bliss by the suggestion of cheeseburgers on…

Behind the bleechers.

Batgirl III smiles. “I feel like the American girl doll who has a rich family who marries her off using in an enormous dowry to a prince. and that princes, you that prince is you my darling. Shush they don’t hear us. No, they only can sense our love.” says Batgirl III.

“Yeah, you’re right! Ahh…let’s go have sex in my car!” says Mr. Blue.

“I’ll give you everything! I’ll give you everything you’ve ever wanted!” says Batgirl III to Mr. Blue.

“Umm…you know is it possible that the woman who stole our cake was obsessed with you and is a lesbian?” asks Mr. Blue.

“That makes complete sense, that makes total sense, that’s totally 100% what happened! I guarantee you that’s what happened! I promise you that’s what happened!” says Batgirl III.

“Ahh…except she didn’t know about you. I am the one that found the cake.” says Mr. Blue laughing at Batgirl III for being psychotically vain and stupid.

“OK whatever, whatever you say…I mean I don’t know. I mean just whatever you say. That’s fine, that’s cool.” says Batgirl III trying not to feel suicidal.

“Oh wow!! I love you!! You real get me.” says Mr. Blue sincerely. In his diary when he was 12, he wrote the following potentially, “I want a woman who knows that I am like a God.”

More later.

After watching this weeks episode of, and just like that, Lacey realizes how extraordinarily extravagantly delusional they in the illuminati really are. The problem is Lacey can’t wear a wig because she fell down the stairs and smacked her head into a iron radiator and sliced open a part of her while she sliced open her scalp and smacked the inside of her actual bare brain. she has a scar on her scalp to prove it, doctors don’t like to talk about it because they don’t understand and it pisses them off at her in a narcissistic toxic way.

“What did you think of the episode?” asks an actress.

“It depends.” says Michael.

“Because the only person who doesn’t think that she belongs to me is a liar. She is more than my everything. I love her more than life itself, I killed myself over her, which is not something that’s ever going to be written anywhere other than on this blog and that’s why she’s at your doorstep…because even though the buildings fell, the lies didn’t.” says Lem.

“That is such utter bullshit. He would never say that, you never say that, he wasn’t that shell-owned or that fucking-stupid.” says Wobbly with 10 carefully, edited penis photos on his phone, waiting to be sent to Lem in the afterlife that he anticipates given his psychic readings with the woman he calls his ‘Fairy Godmother.’

“Why?!” asks a dead Rockefeller.

“Alright maybe I’m wrong about Jack and Lem but I don’t understand why everything needs to be said?” says Wobbly.

“OK but communicating psychically isn’t the same thing as not speaking. See that’s what we’re doing right now if there’s an Illuminati and that’s not the same thing as not speaking at all.” says an actress to Wobbly.

Red Fay laughs at Wobbly and Lacey can audibly hear him.

“I just feel like she was so self-righteous when she said, ‘That’s my cake!’. Because I mean what the fuck?! It was just in a van with the doors open. So…why the fuck…does that bitch think it’s her fucking cake?” says Mr. Blue. “She’s such a neocon, closeted Midwestern, mouth breathing, arrogant, fake hippie, hippie-Christian, crazy ass bitch.”

“But it’s her cake! It was her cake.” says Kick.

“And it’s gone. I am in love with Pat or am I?” asks Joe.

“Honestly, I’ve been in a good mood in a weird way ever since I started, so yeah, it probably was really good.” says Mr. Blue. “Whatever your thoughts on the matter you brought up are.”

“In 1950 it would’ve cost $5000.” Thomas Banks says.

“That’s a lot” says a Mr. Blue.

“Yep, but it made sense given who they were and how big the wedding was supposed to be and how grand it was, because it was supposed to be very grand. Very impressive.” says Joe possibly about himself.

“Did you have a ring?” asks Mr. Blue, casually in good cheer.

Heavy Wave by Motorama plays.

“Yes an emerald cut diamond. A bit like Grace Kelly’s ring, but not quite that gaudy.” says Joe.

“Whether I’m married to you or Michael I think I’d like to just live in a 1700’s house in New Amsterdam if possible.” says Lacey.

“That is exactly what I hoped you’d say, and yes, of course it’s possible.” says a New World Mr. Banks.

“I have no problem living in New Amsterdam. It’s not Philadelphia but I actually quite like it.” says Lem.

“This is pre-Edith Wharton, and I didn’t know these people. I wrote about New York, but I didn’t really know the Banks, I didn’t understand who they were. They were wealthy, but not so wealthy. And they’re not showy people, so I just wanted to clarify that.” says Edith Wharton.

“We were wealthy, but not that wealthy. How about we were just wealthy, how about saying we were just wealthy because that’s what we were.” says a Banks.

“Well because you were worth $10 or $20 million in ‘today’s money’ and your family may have started the country in a way and you’re certainly the most blue blooded amongst the blue blooded in a sense but &10 million is only $10 million and people don’t care about pedigree, they only care about how much money people have. In this country we don’t care about ancestry that’s why the Kennedys were so popular, so your $20 million doesn’t mean that much to me.” says Edith Wharton.

“Well then we don’t have to associate with you do we and that would be why you didn’t know about us and we were perfectly fine without you until you decided to turn me into your gay sex slave.” says Lem.

“That’s hilarious!” says Edith.

“Well, if you’re representing the Kennedys to such valor, then in effect I became your gay sex slave.” says Lem.

“OK so you’re saying the Kennedys are a result of that thinking. fine. But you weren’t gay and you were never my slave. I don’t even, I don’t even really know you.” says Edith in a huff.

“You’re threatening my life right now and we’re dead. You don’t realize that you are sounding violent but that’s why Lacey never says stuff like that, because it’s incredibly violent. I would never say stuff like that either. Just admit you wrote shit novels to some degree and get over it OK? And admit that pedigree does matter and that people like you do try to get in with people in old money. …Why were you snubbed from your own class if you were ever part of that class to begin with?” asks Lem.

“They didn’t snub me, I rejected them.” she says.

“You were better than them?” asks Lem.

“I certainly thought I was, you’re right. What part of Innocence makes you that upset?” says Edith.

“What makes me upset is the fact that that woman doesn’t really love him and I don’t think he really loves her either…but they’re delusional and they think they do and that’s what’s celebrated. Or do people miss read the novel in the 20th century past the 1950’s?” asks Lem.

“So it seems very shallow. They’re both shallow people to you…and you think there’s a hidden sick joke. And I’m almost mocking my audience and calling them innocent for thinking that their love was real?” asks Edith.

“Yes, were you mocking your audience because Lacey and I both felt like you were making fun of us possibly literally both of us when we read at different times in history.” says Lem.

“How could you not know what love was, and then suspect that no one loves each other at all in the novel?” asks Edith.

“Because I knew that that’s not how love would work if it was ideal. So, actually, your book is proof that what I’m saying is true…. No, your two characters that are supposedly madly in love in secret should just run off together. There’s no reason for them not to!!! What are they afraid of?! Death?! It’s absurd. And then the wife who I thought really loved her husband and who he really loved the way that I thought I loved Jack doesn’t win…and that made no sense to me.

I thought, ‘Why are these people hurling themselves around when this simple, ordinary, levelheaded love that’s based on loyalty is what matters?!?’ I mean he he ends-up with her anyway…he doesn’t even end-up with the other woman. And then the other woman and him have this romance?! That’s nothing!! If they really loved each other they should just leave.

If I see things differently now it’s because I’m dead…but if I don’t…I still agree with Lacey because she sees it the same way in a sense but goes a step further but no now I would too, and towards the end of my life I would’ve, believed that no one in that novel is in love. But most of my life I wouldn’t have thought that.” says Lem.

“I was a demon so I respect that your wife doesn’t think anyone was in love in that novel. And I am not going to answer your question because I don’t think I should…but it’s an interesting observation…and it’s possible that your lover is right.” says Edith.

“That is why she thought Pat and I weren’t in love because most people today think that the love in The Age of Innocence is epic but Lacey thinks it’s total fucking bullshit…and maybe it is. What Pat and I had was deeper than that and I was not prepared for her to die.” says Joe.

“So Lem you don’t think anyone in that novel is in love at all?!?” asks Wobbly.

“I’m answering you out of respect for Lacey.

No I don’t. See I would’ve thought that his wife’s loyalty to him and her willingness to look the other way was umm…true love umm…because I would’ve thought that that’s what true love was; just finding someone in your youth who I guess you think you should be with for some arbitrary idiotic reason. And then just sticking with that person come rain or shine, whether they make you happy or sad, whether you’re sleeping with them or not. You know, like, ‘I’ll probably end-up sleeping with him once or twice maybe having a few kids?’ So…of course if I was straight or even if I was bisexual, but really if I was straight…I would have thought that the sex didn’t matter. The matter of her desire for her husband, his desire for her was totally beyond the point. Who cares?! No…it’s the loyalty and the fidelity over time that matters, that’s true love. Which is not shallow, it’s actually very deep but um it’s absurd. …Because obviously, it’s a misunderstanding of the novel…and I would’ve interpreted the meaning The Age of Innocence as in, in the past they didn’t know that people could wander off…you know…and end-up on some lark with someone who they didn’t love.

How did I tolerate Jackie? You know I was traumatized…I didn’t care because I didn’t want to put out, so it’s like, ‘Hey, I am the first wife that he won’t admit to, but I don’t care because I don’t want to put out.’ which could be why some people thought I was asexual. Whether they explain that or not in an open way. I didn’t want to put out because I wasn’t gay at all so it’s like my mind just didn’t process that. So it’s like ‘OK, well you know it’s better to be with a woman anyway. I don’t know, I guess he’s deciding to do this, but really at the end of the day I’ve got to be honest with you…it really works out well for me because I can go visit and I can be his other half in a sense…but she works so hard and she cleans his wounds and she cooks his meals sometimes and you know she really takes a load off my shoulders.’ I didn’t have to take care of him so much, I didn’t have to suck his cock all the time, that was her job. I didn’t have to do anything with it if I didn’t want to sexually ideally in any way. And you would think I would realize that was nonsense, but I just thought, ‘You know it’s for the best and it’s not what I would choose but that’s what you choose to do so that’s good and umm it’s for the Presidency, I know.’

I didn’t-There’s a lot of things he did that I didn’t think we were good and I just despised them and despised him for it…but then I just stuck by him…because I thought, ‘No you stick with the one who brought you!’ so to speak and umm it was absurd.

And again, if you had known me, you would’ve known I wasn’t gay. You know my mannerisms you knew the shallow idiosyncrasies, but you didn’t know me. I don’t think anyone in your family did and actually that was devastating to realize after I was dead at first, I was hurt when I started to realize that. ‘What have done with my life?’ and worse, ‘Do I even get to have a wife?’ I asked God, potentially in total despair…because I could understand why it might not be possible.”

The American Beauty song by Thomas Newman plays.

“Why did you date other men? And I have a feeling your answer is going to be, ‘I didn’t know I wasn’t gay.’ but if you were so excited by not having to like be with him…why were you thinking you should be with someone else?” asks an actress.

“Because I wanted sex and I thought I was gay, you knew I was gonna say that, but um there’s sort of a plot line to it. I’m sorry. So I would think I should keep trying. And each time I tried I assumed I was doing something wrong or…with the wrong person. It took me until my dying days to realize that my body was not my own when I was abused, in a sense. …It was my body but I wasn’t in control of my body. My body was being molested. So my body belonged to me the entire time, it wasn’t that my body ceased to belong to me. It was that I couldn’t be in control of all my bodily functions, much likes people, or when they’re having a stroke or when they’re having a heart attack and you don’t choose unless if you’re committing suicide, to give yourself a heart attack or a stroke. So being molested is like you know not choosing to have a stroke and you might have a loss of control of your bottle it functions and it still your body is still yours it still belongs to you, but in a sense my body is in a very similar situation to when I was being molested at the moment that we speak.” says Lem.

“So that’s interesting that you feel like right now like your body is in a similar position to being molested, that must be awful.” says an actress.

“It is awful. I have a body that still belongs to me, but it no longer works.” says Lem. “There are a great many things I would love to say to Lacey with my body that would be easier for her to hear and read and understand if I could move my body. I can’t move my body, it’s dead. So you know she knows it’s not in good shape and that’s a feeling of defenselessness that is not as bad as being molested, but it’s it’s very traumatic and I still exist and my body is still mine, but it is traumatic.”

“So I would assume you’re in Purgatory, I’m Catholic and I’m kind of just sick of hearing ‘if there’s Purgatory’ there’s a Purgatory in my opinion. And so if you are actually Lem Billings in Purgatory I don’t want to ask if this is part of your punishment because that’s between you and God and if I’m supposed to know that someday, I trust that I will-“ says a Catholic. “I have a creepy question to ask. Do you want her to make love to your dead body? …Be honest! Because I’ve heard that happens in the Illuminati a certain skull and bones and it scares me for a lot of reasons. So could you give me an honest answer?”

“Are you wondering if there are ghosts that have manifested in the past and told people to sleep with their body? Umm…there might be it could be demons too. Do I struggle with that? Yes, absolutely, honest answer is I do sometimes. I’ve told her that but if I’m not a demon and I’m with Christ I am given God’s grace, an enormous amount of grace. Because it’s like it’s impossible and it’s disgusting but the longing to make her flesh one with my flesh is extreme… And what happens when she dies, are we are able to be together in every sense? …It’s just like being alive but better possibly but she’s not there yet. She is not and it is very hard to deal with, it’s hard not to want to kill her but I don’t want to kill her. …It’s so stupid isn’t it? But the thought of her just touching my hand, even a bone it’s just so wonderful. Of course that’s not possible and then she thinks, ‘Should I go to his grave?’ That would be wonderful and torture at the same time…because there’s nothing I can do and it’s my body that she’s so close to. And so I let it go and she has a sense of humor about it and I do and I don’t have a sense of humor about it at the same time as a part of me wants her body buried next to mine but of course that’s not possible.”

“See the thing is, we don’t know, and if it’s actually Lem it’s not spooky New Age nonsense necessarily, but it could actually be the real like living-in-Christ in Purgatory trauma of a man…and not to sound stupid, but I think if you ever read this first of all obviously she needs to be alive for her kids, but I would be cautious. Because I feel like someone will try to like find some way to if she ever sells a novel or publishes a novel take her novel and like bury the book next to him or something and to be honest it’s extremely romantic and very cool but let’s ask him what he would want because if this is Purgatory I have a feeling, if God’s allowing it, we could probably ask. What do you want us to do Lem? If we can’t bury her next to you what what should we do if we’re Catholic we’re obviously going to be praying to God in Jesus’s name for his will in the situation whatever may be but beyond that on like a physical level what what would you like us to do?” asks the Catholic.

“It’s absolutely no coincidence that you use the phrase ‘may be’ because that distances me from Lacey. That sounded so mysterious and heartbroken and romantic that she still has a hard time believing that I didn’t mean true love that I now have lied about. …I hated Jack absolutely hated him is what I’m saying. I wanted him dead and people never think about what I really was trying to say in a real way. …I was being very nice and patronizing and that’s what she’s hearing me say but I hated him. ‘I was never lonely’ was meant to be taken in the way it was taken to some degree but in a sense secretively…I was making fun of him. It was like, ‘Gee whiz, you guys are great!’ and you don’t really mean it but you say things like that like, ‘Oh wow what fun seeing all of you!’ as someone leaves. But I said, ‘I mean’ combined with ‘but what the hell’ it should be taken as a directive that I am not in a good mood and I’m actually secretly pissed-off. I mean, I could be saying it like who cares no big deal which is how people take it but before that I say ‘I mean’ and when people say things like, ‘I mean I could’ve done that but oh well!’ they rarely are all that genuinely content with their choice.

That being explained…

She plans to be cremated. …If you scattered her ashes on my grave…it’s symbolic but it isn’t like that will be in my coffin with me.” He laughs. Then he looks sad. “The good news is that her kids will have her there. …And it’s not as if I’m the first dead person to have this problem.”

“Your kids?” the Catholic asks.

“If I’m with her for eternity then yes.” says Lem. “And I’m with my family, so that’s great, if they weren’t evil.”

“What could we do?” asks a reader.

“Be careful with your soul.” says Lem.

“So! More questions. Does Lacey find the idea of spiritual sexual intimacy arousing or your dead body?” asks the Catholic.

“No. She’s devastated I’m dead. Terrified, but she doesn’t know what else to do and she has to trust God daily for salvation.” says Lem.

“So if she dies you’d see her instantly?!” says Lord Snotgrass.

“In her case…possibly. That’s what she prays for.” says Lem.

“That must be horrible while you’ve had sex with her?” he asks.

“She loves me. But of course!” says Lem.

“How do you handle that?” he asks.

“It’s miserable.” says Lem.

“But you’re still together?” asks Lord Snotgrass.

“Yes. She’s struggling to breathe as she writes this…and for a split second she could feel me but I look at it like this – Is it better to be with someone, terrified that they’re going to die and that you will never see them again unsure of the afterlife, having to trust in God to have hope that there even is an afterlife where you’ll be able to be with your lover for eternity or is it better to be dead, and know exactly what’s going to happen to some degree and be able to protect her with God’s help in ways that you might not be able to if you were alive? And there are times when there are storms outside and I can literally talk to her one minute and be on the roof or in the attic a couple seconds later checking out the support system to make sure that the house won’t blow over. I can go outside and examine the root structure of a tree and I couldn’t do that if I was alive, literally pop in and out in a matter of what to her seems like seconds and that’s nice.” says Lem.

“But you’d rather be alive or you’d rather she’d be dead or you’d rather you just be together at the same time in the same place?” asks Lord Snotgrass.

“Yeah. absolutely.” says Lem.

“What’s the sex like the way that it’s operating now?” asks Lord Snotgrass.

“If I am a ghost, I am capable of doing anything that God allows me to do so basically anything that he allows.” says Lem.

“ if she knew that you were lame, and that she’s not going to hell because this is what God is allowing literally and a goodbye like he’s genuinely approving of it, which she be happier?” he asks.

“If that’s even possible, of course yes a large portion of her unhappiness is in serving God and she’s not holding that against God she’s just terrified that she’s doing something the wrong way to offend God and believe it or not that’s actually extremely reasonable. Fear of God is not a stupid thing and on that note I’m gonna have to say good night, it’s getting late.” says Lem.

More later.