A Sex Scene

Lacey has had a very difficult time being with Lem for over a year.

The Illuminati has prevented it.

…

Content Below Is Only For Readers Over 21

Straighten up and Fly Right by The Andrews Sisters plays.

(Written partially by Lem)

Lem is in his 20’s. Lacey her early to mid 20’s.

It’s 1942. He’s decided not to fight in the war. With his vision and other health problems he had that option and so he decided to stay.

Why? Because as much as Jack could coerce Lem to suck his cock and write him somewhat dirty letters…he wasn’t Lacey Banks. Lacey…Joe’s serious girlfriend.

Lacey adored Joe.

Vivaldi’s Four Seasons plays.

There’s was a storybook romance. Lacey debuted and he suddenly emerged as her favorite beau.

She was a sweet Minnesota girl from a glamorous, wealthy family with Hollywood connections. Her father had supposed connections to the underworld as well…but those were the mere dark shadows that gave contrast to the bright, prim effervescence of Lacey Banks’s life. You could easily imagine her in an English study…drinking tea. A butler in the background preparing for dinner. A maid in the hall. And Lacey lost in a pipe tobacco smoky world of aged leather and tweed and plaid and rainy, dreamy melancholy.

Her father, Thomas Banks, despite his being a supposed bootlegger, was more like Alfred Hitchcock or Sir Winston Churchill than James Cagney.

It was expected that Lacey would marry Joe.

He had merely to return from the war alive.

They kissed each other goodbye. Photos were taken in front of the rose bushes in Lacey’s mother’s backyard garden. Lacey’s beauty was commented on by many…but she didn’t photograph well. Still…one particular photo of Joe and Lacey kissing was rather…suggestive…regardless and…so…Joe Kennedy Jr. kept it in his pocket. With his smokes.

She had decided to say goodbye to him in Minnesota. So her last memory of him was on a rainy day…with his handsome frame wandering off…jaunty and masculine…and sublime away…to a black car waiting to take him to an airport.

Did he have other girlfriends? Yes. Of course. Athalia Ponsell was one of them. Edith Beale had also dated him. But…Thomas Banks…was a brilliant choice as father-in-law…for Joe Kennedy Jr.. He knew that. And Lacey was sexy. And Lacey was smart. And Lacey adored him. She was also gorgeous and incredibly even tempered. He was exceedingly happy to marry her.

Her family’s ties to American posh old money also were a boon for Joe.

Vivaldi’s The Four Seasons plays on.

Except…Joe met Patricia Wilson. The former Marchioness of Jersey. In London. At dinner. One rainy night. With Hearst sitting there as well…

And of course…Pat giggled.

And of course…Pat smiled.

And of course…Pat invited Joe to come over and see her sometime…for ‘dinner.’ She aimed to ‘support’ him…in the midst of his…’starvation.’

And so…Lacey Banks…was overshadowed by the glory of the former Marchioness of Jersey. And actual British aristocrat with blue eyes…a longing look…and open arms.

Vivaldi’s Winter plays.

Pat leans forward in old silk. Surrounded by candlelight. She stares into Joe’s eyes. …It was only after dinner…but…it could just as easily have been in bed…for the exquisitely seductive quality it had in Joe’s eyes…was…unvarnished and unsurpassable.

And so…Joe began sleeping with Patricia.

Lacey…wouldn’t mind? Or perhaps more accurately…Lacey was the last thing on his mind. Because Lacey wasn’t…Pat…in all her glory. And Joe…was mindlessly falling in love.

Everybody Got Their Something by Nikka Costa plays.

Kick was worried.

But…she was…in England. Married to an English aristocrat. And she adored Pat too.

Truthfully…she had always been jealous of Lacey Banks. And this was a great treat. It was like a secret lie she shared with Joe…that trumped Lacey’s hold on him just enough to feel superior to Lacey.

Like A Feather by Nikka Costa plays.

Kick was ruthless. Mildly naturally beautiful. And intelligent.

She was not a woman to get on the wrong side of.

All that being said…she did actually worry. She knew that he brother’s chances of winning the US Presidency greatly increased with Lacey as his wife. And…how was he going to marry Pat and make her his wife if he wanted to be a US President? It would be…complicated. The former Marchioness of Jersey as a First Lady?!? …Joe wasn’t thinking it through.

And…of course…Elliott Roosevelt, son of US President FDR…had met Lacey once. Briefly. At a party. Only…he was very drunk. And…he had barely been able to construct a proper sentence. And so…embarrassed and determined…he had decided to keep an eye on her.

And…when he hears gossip of Joe’s incredibly torrid affair with the former, currently married, Marchioness…he pounced. He pounced on the rumor and tore it apart in his free time…and discovered…that it was true.

In June of 1942…Lacey in despair when Joe stopped writing as often…as he had left for England far earlier…and his affair with Pat had started far earlier…left for Cape Cod. She couldn’t stand it anymore. Her fiancé…was being so distant. And of course Joe Sr. was awkwardly complacent at the prospect of Lacey staying in their house to feel closer to Joe Jr.. Rose found it both obnoxious and endearing. Jack Kennedy…thought it was hilarious.

Bobby was worried.

And Elliott Roosevelt decided it was time to visit Cape Cod.

Suite For Solo Cello No. 1 by Bach plays.

“Lacey, darling, you remember Elliott Roosevelt. He’s here to tell you how Joe’s doing. He’s seen Joe recently.” says Joe Kennedy Sr..

Lacey met Elliott on a porch overlooking the ocean. Outside. And…in whispered hushes he told her, “Your fiancé is cheating.”

“He’s cheating? With whom? Some English starlet?” asks Lacey, unimpressed.

Bagatelle For Piano In A Minor by Beethoven plays.

“Ah…no. With a beautiful…housewife.” says Elliott.

“A desperate housewife?” asks Lacey.

Elliott scoffs. “Hardly. You’re such a child, Lacey.” says Elliott.

“Who then?!! The future Queen of England?!” asks Lacey.

“No!” laughs Elliott. He thinks. “At least…I doubt it.” He thinks. “No. Pat Wilson. She was the Marchioness of Jersey.”

“Oh! I see.” says Lacey. “Well…how does he think it’s going to work in tandem with his future?”

“If it’s serious?” says Elliott.

“Yes! Isn’t that rather risky?” asks Lacey.

Elliott thinks. “I suppose…”.

Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major by Bach plays.

Elliott Roosevelt leans in closer to Lacey…”Lacey, let’s have an affair. I want you.”

Lacey listens.

“Those people inside have no idea…about a great many things. …My brother and father are friends with Joe Sr., your future father-in-law. We could easily-“ he grabs her arm and pulls her unto his lap. “We could easily have an affair for the rest of our lives…and nobody will have to know. Joe…could keep his mistress in London…and he’d be none the wiser about why you don’t care. To him it’s going to seem normal and familiar.”

Lacey tries not to laugh.

String Quartet No. 5 by Philip Glass plays.

Elliott grins. His sparkling blue eyes smile as well. He holds her close, but she pushes herself away a bit.

“Look!” says Elliott capturing her attention. “It’s sin. I know. But…we’re already in love. I can tell. And…life shouldn’t be pure misery.”

“Would it hurt him?” wonders Lacey.

Elliott looks off into the distance. “No. …It might hurt him a little…but…that was his choice. You know? Choosing to treat you the way he has. It’s wrong. And I know that. I’ll always know that!” says Elliott as he pulls her in for a kiss. He kisses her.

And just as he starts to move his hand on her back they hear footsteps. Of Joe Kennedy Sr..

They pause and then Lacey stands up carefully. Joe doesn’t see a thing. He merely had an instinct.

Bright and sunny he emerges from inside to the bright outdoors. Bright meets bright!

“Goodness! It’s sunny today!” says Joe. He studies Lacey carefully and then…stops and for an instant almost cries. Fighting away tears he says, “It’s funny in a way to see you. …But I’m glad. Better you than a lot of people.” he says to Elliott. “How’s your father?”

The two men chat.

Feeling awkward Lacey goes inside after politely excusing herself.

Lacey thinks of running home to Reta. Sitting in her lap and crying.

The Seasons, For Piano by Tchaikovsky plays.

And after a terse exchange…Joe Kennedy Sr. darts inside and Elliott smugly walks away after him. He turns to Lacey, “I’ll be seeing you soon!”

Then Elliott Roosevelt leaves.

Lacey, in fear, walks upstairs to Joe Kennedy Sr.’s favorite room for doing work…

“Mr. Kennedy, may I have a word with you?” asks Lacey.

He looks up at her. Raw. Handsome. It startles her.

“You know…it’s become sort of lonely here. Back in Minnesota I have a few friends.” says Lacey. “We love to go to the movies and ride and sail. And it’s just swell!”

He thinks. Lights a cigar and nods.

“Could-Are there any friends of your kids who might be available to keep me from being lonely? Like…a nice young man who’s…close to your family…who would be an edifying influence?” asks Lacey in innocence.

Joe thinks. He laughs. “Your aunt owns an clothing boutique in Hollywood?”

“Yes!” says Lacey.

“Gee…that’s wonderful.” he says. He looks didn’t at his desk. “Why don’t we have Jack’s friend Lem Billings, his Christian name is Kirk but he goes by Lem, come visit us? He’s been asking if he could anyway. He’d love to meet you. I’m sure you’ll be great friends! He’s definitely the sort of guy who you will feel at home around, I’m sure.” Joe laughs.

“Oh?! Why is that?!” asks Lacey.

Joe rests his feet on his desk. “It’s just a…world of artists…like life back in Minnesota.”

“Being around him?” asks Lacey.

“Yes! He’s very artistic!” says Joe.

“Wonderful!” says Lacey.

“And so…I’ll arrange that…promptly!” says Joe Kennedy Sr..

“Thank you! That’s very kind!” says Lacey. She leaves.

A week later Lem Billings arrives on Cape Cod.

There, There by Radiohead from “Hail To The Thief” plays.

Lem and Lacey chat. Happily. For a week. They have much in common.

Joe and Rose breath a sigh of relief.

When Lem decides to take Lacey into the city for a night…on Saturday…they don’t object. They’re adults. And it seems appropriate.

Lem is tired. Lacey is tired.

Over gin at a nice restaurant…Lacey confesses to him, “I think Elliott Roosevelt is trying to have an affair with me.”

Lem’s eyes light-up.

“What?!?” he asks.

“Elliott asked me to be his mistress of sorts…indefinitely.” says Lacey.

Lem curls his lips into a lurid half grin.

Lem laughs. Smiles. Looks quickly into Lacey’s eyes. Keeps smiling.

Lem pushes his eyeglasses up his nose.

“So…you…will or won’t?” he asks finally. He forces himself to be serious.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do.” says Lacey. She studies him.

“I don’t think you should!” he says. He picks up his glass of water for effect. Drinks. Is silent.

“That’s evil.” says Lacey.

He closes his eyes. Looks pained.

He looks up at her pleadingly.

“No! I’m not a dog!” she says, biting.

He stares off into the street through a restaurant window.

“I don’t want to have to be the one to tell them.” says Lem.

“You’re being mean.” says Lacey.

He looks into her eyes. Suddenly aroused. Then he closes his eyes.

“What??” asks Lacey.

Khalghi Stomp by Transglobal Underground plays.

He shakes his head. Eyes closed. Sighs.

Pained, “Look, I know what you want.” he levels with her.

“How would you know that?” asks Lacey.

He thinks. “Let’s just say…I like sex too.”

Lacey blinks. “I don’t think you understand.” she says. “It’s not just sex.”

He looks pained.

“It’s love.” says Lacey.

He suddenly smiles. Looks her in the eye and then quickly looks away.

“I’d love to make love with you.” he says casually. “But I can’t.” he says to make an argument.

“Then let’s go get a room.” says Lacey, exasperated.

“What about Elliott?” asks Lem.

“I’m in love with you.” says Lacey. “Elliott has a girlfriend. …But…you can’t anyway.”

Lem looks diminished. He pushes his glasses up his nose. He thinks.

“I’m homosexual!” he says, quickly throwing his hands up in the air.

Night Thoughts by Else plays.

“Then it wouldn’t matter anyway.” says Lacey.

Lem looks at her amused. He sighs.

“That’s not true!” he says.

“Why?!” asks Lacey.

“No! I’m not an idiot!” he says leaning forward. Then he leans back in his wooden restaurant chair. Looks out the windows.

“I know.” says Lacey.

He swallows. Thinks. “I’m…” He closes his eyes. “I’m a virgin.”

“But you’re sleeping with Jack? Or Joe Sr.?” asks Lacey.

He smiles. Closes his eyes. “Yeah.”

“Then you’ve just never been with a woman?” asks Lacey.

He closes his eyes. Quickly opens them and looks into her eyes, “I’m terrified.”

“I’m a virgin too.” says Lacey.

He nods. Closes his eyes and leans back in his chair again.

“It can’t be that big of deal. Or it is. And that’s at least part of what’s wrong with the entire world.” says Lacey.

He looks sad. Staring out the windows, “I’m in love with you too.” he says. He leans forward and stares down at his plate. “Why Elliott?”

“Because he’s the only man who’s noticed my sadness and cared. You’d be willing to let me die.” says Lacey.

Lem looks horrified.

“I don’t think you understand the fact that I’m deformed.” says Lem.

Lacey looks perplexed.

“You’re homosexual?” she asks.

“Yes!” he says smiling to lighten the mood.

“What’s deformed? Your mind?” she asks.

He looks serious. “No! Maybe. …I suppose?”

She stares at him. “Let’s investigate.”

He looks at her. “Jack tried to buy me a prostitute once.”

“Well that’s no good.” says Lacey.

“Why?” he asks pushing his eyeglasses up his nose.

“Because it’s not the same thing.” says Lacey.

“Why?” he asks.

“Because a prostitute is paid. It’s fake. Even though it’s not fake. It’s…a lie. Start to finish.” says Lacey. “In every way.”

“Do prostitutes get hurt?” he asks.

Lacey thinks. “Some less than others. But…it’s a crummy life for them.”

“I bet.” says Lem.

“Lem let’s make love!” says Lacey.

He looks guilty. “No! I hoped you say that.” he admits.

“You just manipulated me?” asks Lacey.

“Yes.” he says. He stares at her.

“So…you think I should sleep with you instead of Elliott Roosevelt?” says Lacey.

He closes his eyes. Slouches.

“Are you a cheat?” asks Lacey.

“No. I just…hoped and aimed for you to suggest it.” says Lem.

“Why can’t you?” asks Lacey.

“Because. I’m me.” says Lem. “And I’m homosexual.”

6 Underground by Sneaker Pimps plays.

“That’s silly.” says Lacey. She leans against the wall languidly.

“Let’s get married.” says Lem.

“Tonight?” asks Lacey.

He smiles. Nods.

“You’re not being serious.” says Lacey.

“No! Let’s do it!” he says.

“Okay.” says Lacey. “But I don’t want to get divorced.”

He laughs and nods.

They rent a hotel room. And Lem makes dozens of phone calls to find someone who can marry them.

“We’ll have to go to Pennsylvania.” says Lem. He bites his bottom lip as he sits on a bed.

Then he looses control of himself as night falls. Lacey sits across from him on a twin bed.

He throws his glasses on the nightstand as he leaps forward, landing on top of Lacey, pushing her backwards onto the bed.

“Where are we?” asks Lacey.

“Boston.” says Lem.

And within seconds they let themselves find each other. Up and down, undulating in beautiful unison in a fervent hope to become one. And then within in seconds, naked, they lose themselves to each other possibly for eternity. Or rather, Lem conquers Lacey. Except she wanted to be conquered. So really, he just simply claims her.

Once they’ve both orgasmed…fully…truly…laying in each other’s arms…”I’m not homosexual.” says Lem.

“At all?” asks Lacey.

“No! Not at all. …Turns out they’re very different. For me.” says Lem.

“I see.” says Lacey.

“I think Jack is evil.” says Lem.

Go In by Warpaint plays.

“Are we getting married?” asks Lacey.

Lem kisses her, “Yes.” he says. “Today. Get dressed.”

“Today?” asks Lacey.

“Yes! Get dressed. We’re taking a train out of here. Now.” says Lem.

Hours later…in Philadelphia…they switch trains. And the minute they descend into to darkness…Lacey knows…she’s gone forever. Hopefully to Christ.

No Surprises by Radiohead plays.

In six hours they’ve married.

The song plays.

And plays.

“Lacey married Lem!” Joe Sr. yells at Rose. He laughs.

“Say! That’s kind of nice.” says Rose.

Joe looks out the window. Calculating.

Half Life by Sneaker Pimps from “Splinter” plays.

Jack finds out. Cries.

Jack weeps.

Scowls.

Was there a victory in the Pacific for Jack? Yeah. Of course.

But…Joe…doesn’t die.

“We’ll have to hire a man for Jack.” says Joe Sr. to Rose.

“Why?! He’s fine.” she says skeptically.

“No. He’s…a poor boy.” says Joe. “But he’s not from a poor family.

“He needs a wife.” says Rose.

“He’ll have one in due time.” says Joe.

“He’s just a jolly little man!” says Rose, fondly.

“Right. He’s in need of a permanent servant Rose.” says Joe.

And so a man was hired. And Joe…

What became of Joe?

Half Life by Sneaker Pimps starts over.

In a British kitchen…in 1945…Pat Wilson merrily made dinner.

Joe knocks open the swinging door.

He reaches over and grabs her breast. Their mouths touch.

Within moments…half dressed…they passionately make love.

And…someone…like Athalia…is called in, so to speak, to fill in the role of Lacey. Camelot is nonsense. Camelot is British. The only one British there was Lem. Period. Unless Ireland is permanently British. ALL of Ireland.

Athalia wouldn’t have created Camelot.

Jackie lied.

Camelot is nothing but bullshit.

Except…she was trying to describe her feelings about the beauty she saw.

“It was…my kingdom.” says Joe. “Pat. Help us.”

“It’s nearly impossible to write a decent authentic sex scene.” says Pat Wilson. “And likewise…how do you describe an American Presidency like Joe’s?”