Ashes To Ashes

Turns out Diego Blue is a genius.

One of the most obnoxious things to Lacey is to be misunderstood. She loses her patience more with that than a great many things. And Diego Blue seemingly has perfectly misunderstood her to a PROFOUND degree.

He’s a genius at finding the most ANNOYING impressions of Lacey almost humanly imaginable and INSISTING constantly…that they are FACT. Why? To try to rally the bourgeois Illuminati to murder her in fits of narcissistic violence.

Diego drives in his 1956 pink convertible with the top down in New Mexico. The wind blowing through his hair. He laughs. He’s successful.

Ashes To Ashes by David Bowie plays.

Thirty demons and Kick Kennedy chat up the Illuminati. They have no right to but they want to mock her. The Illuminati thinks they’re all just Lacey.

“I hate you!! You are…VILE!” Kick yells at Lacey.

“I knew they’d be taken aback by her good heart. I want everyone dead. I hate this world.” says Diego Blue. “But I had to find a good resource. She was the third rail. So I tapped her danger.” He thinks. “She’s very loving. Moral. Christian. But…such an untapped resource. And…so…I went for it! …I have to kill strategically.”

The song plays.

“You can’t handle who she is. So…I used that. I am a psychological jazz player.” says Diego Blue.

In this season’s last episode of And Just Like That poor Carrie finds out that Aidan is…possibly after revenge.

“Isn’t he so much like Lem?!” says JFK sarcastically to Lacey.

“He’s nothing like Lem and yet in an eerie way, he is.” says Lacey.

“He’s possibly supposed to be Lem. And it’s…ANNOYING.” says JFK. “The level of self-righteousness is astounding.”

“Or is that just a joke?” asks Lacey.

“It was a brilliant parody of what it seems Bobby might think.” says JFK.

“It is.” says Lacey.

“I forced her to analyze things backwards to see my insults everywhere to drive her insane.” says Diego Blue. “She was so scared. For years. It’s been like living Hell.” He thinks. “The bourgeois always unfailing take her kindness as an admission of vulnerability. And it’s infuriating to her.”

“They think that means I’m weak?” says Lacey

“They do. They don’t understand your kindness because they don’t want to see their own feelings and vulnerabilities. Not the way you do.” says Diego.

“Lacey you can control them. They can’t control you.” says Lem.

“You guys are PATHETIC! …You’ve had to resort to trying to throw her down stairs and choke her using demons. Why don’t you just blow her and her family up?” asks Diego Blue.

“They want to torture her to death. Not let her exist and be happy. They literally are losing their minds over her superiority.” says Michael.

Everybody Dies by Billie Eilish plays.

A man in North Carolina walks outside on his front porch and listens to the crickets and watches the fireflies. He decides he wants to kill. But who? Or does he just want to blow-up a…hospital? No? An abandoned shopping mall?

Ted Bundy laughs.

Lasso by Phoenix plays.

“It would have to be very well planned. Like…brilliantly executed.” says the man in North Carolina.

“We could do it.” says his friend, joining him.

“What about a river?” asks the man.

“What about the Hudson?” says his friends.

“Oh my gosh, you guys…Lem was probably straight!” says the FBI to the writers of And Just Like That.

“I refuse to answer that because I would like to make her think that she’s schizophrenic. I don’t wanna answer any question that would make her think that we’re real people.” says a writer for the show.

“I like the idea of shooting Joe Biden.” says the man in North Carolina.

Smile Like You Mean It by The Killers plays.

“Or Jill!” says the other man on the porch.

“Nah! That’s too easy.” says the first man.

“Things were getting this hot before we started the Covid pandemic.” says a lab.

“But why would you care??” asks Darren Star.

“About her?!?” asks Satan. “Because I started the banking crisis.” say Satan. “Do you need another reexamination?”

“Oh my God, you guys! A pandemic, World War III, a Civil War? Man…they can shoot your Biden, they can shoot me and they could blow-up the whole fucking world. And everything will be fine. The sun will rise and you’ll just be in Hell for eternity, and then she will go to heaven to I guess, or the afterlife and the Earth will be impossible for humans to exist in but who gives a shit. You guys we’re gonna have so fucking much fun, and I’m excited. I’m just excited.” says Bobby Kennedy Jr..

“You guys are so strong insulting her! Wow! …And then you threaten her life, whenever she pisses you off. Let’s listen to someone other than all of you.” says the FBI.

“Why are you all obsessed with being superior in how you look but then you can’t seem to fathom how gross you all look when you’re infested with demons. It’s just bizarre!” says Lacey. “Anyway, yes lets listen.”

Look At What You’ve Done by Jet plays.

“Let’s bomb a football stadium!” says the man.

“The superbowl during halftime!” says the friend.

Jack sits with them.

“How about shooting up churches?” asks Jack.

“Or blowing-up churches?” says the first man.

“Yeah! Christians can go first to Heaven. And then we’ll rouse them up to fight.” says the friend.

Doin’ Time by Lana Del Rey plays.

“So…why couldn’t we just let her be with Lem?” asks the CIA.

“Because I wanted to.” says middle class America. “I decided to sacrifice her to the Devil.”

“Why do you get Lem?” asks the CIA.

“Because he’s perfect.” says middle class America.

“But so is Lacey!” says Lem.

“Yeah! But we couldn’t do both. Because he’s not going to be as damaged this way and neither will she.” they say. “Scott and Zelda were our lesson.”

“I doubt that entirely works.” says Lem. “But you’re right that she hates the attention Zelda got.”

“We’re attacking all rich people.” says middle class America.

“And we’re waiting for you to die.” says a Waldorf.

“Scott could we have convinced you you were in love with Jack Kennedy?” asks South Carolina.

“Yes!” he says. “Except I would have written novels. Not worshipped him.” He thinks. “I worshipped Zelda.”

“What about convincing you you were gay?” asks the Illuminati.

“No!” says Scott.

“Why?!” asks the Illuminati.

He laughs. “I think I was just too…aware. By nature.”

“Lacey and I are. But we’re also not.” says Lem.

More later.

“There’s not a real war in Ukraine is there?” asks Sarah Jessica Parker.

“No. It’s not real real. The images we see are faked.” says Bobby Kennedy Jr..

“I’ve been there!” says another celebrity.

“Yeah. Whatever. I know how these people lie.” says Bobby.

“Bobby…there’s a war in Ukraine.” says Kim.

“Okay. Yeah right there’s a pandemic and a war in Ukraine!” says Bobby.

“Bobby…Maurice was Jack and Rip. If Lem killed your uncle…M6 knew. They all knew.” says dead M6.

He thinks. “So he pretended to be gay and then pretended to be innocent?” wonders Bobby.

“That’s the idea.” says Joe Jr..

“I don’t care if she was my daughter biologically or not. She’s my daughter.” says Thomas Banks.

“Why did she think she was your niece once? Was someone reading your response?” asks a writer. “A long time ago of course.”

“Which means they’ve been planning for a while.” says Lem.

“So you killed Jack?” asks Ted Bundy.

“No. But not completely no.” says Lem.

“They used you to make it easier?” asks Owen Wilson.

Silence.

“They studied him.” says Michael. “If there was a conspiracy.”

“To figure out what was happening.” says Rod Sterling.

More later.