Jack cries.
Flugelder II (From “Dis” Soundtrack) by Jóhann Jóhannsson plays.
Bobby Kennedy Jr. just can’t get through to Jack.
“Jack. There are places that can help you.” says Bobby.
Jack looks at him gobsmacked. Speechless.
“Jack. There are!” says Bobby Jr..
Jack shakes his head no back and forth. Looks visibly upset.
“Jack! I’m leveling with you!” says Bobby Jr.. “It’s called conversion therapy.”
“I’m not gay.” says JFK to his nephew.
“Okay. Then why were you attracted to men?” asks Bobby Jr..
Jack stands looking into the car. Bobby’s at the wheel.
“Bobby…you can’t force someone to have an orientation.” says JFK.
“Yes! It’s a choice!” says Bobby Kennedy Jr..
“No. It’s not a choice!” says JFK.
“Yes, it’s a choice.” says Bobby.
“Bobby. That’s insane.” says JFK.
“Then why aren’t you necessarily gay at in Heaven?!” asks Bobby Jr..
“Because…it might be wrong.” says JFK. “AND a doomed life. Like being born with Down Syndrome. You’ll never fully be the same as other people who are healthy and normal.”
“That’s rubbish! It’s a choice. We make the choice.” says JFK.
“No. It’s not. Some of us are either born or made that way over time. …People have become so confused about it. It’s very complicated. …And it’s not as evil, if it’s evil, as pedophilia.”
And at that black bourgeois haters try get Lacey to choke on her soup. They’re racist, perverse, child molesting pieces of human garbage…by choice. Unless they’re genuinely helping a child…or someone else…Lacey prays they die.
Who are they? It’s unclear.
All adult American black people shake their asses like a tick tock clock to the beat of Softcore by The Neighborhood. They’re racist, entitled, HATEFUL assholes in 2023. Not in the past, necessarily. But in 2023 they’re seemingly all total tools. Total dicks. Total ‘losers’…
“This is insane. I am absolutely positive that this is all happening today because Chris Hayes has discovered a way to sleep with Lacey. I think he-I think he has somehow found a way to try to seduce her but I think he’s-I think he’s having sex with her as a child.” says a horrific, violent white trash witch in New Jersey with a raspy voice from cigarettes.
Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush plays.
“No. I’m not having sex with him in any way.” says Lacey.
“I can’t believe that!” says George Soros.
“No. Homosexuality is not a choice!” says JFK to Bobby Jr..
“What the flip is going on?! Are black people actually inferior?” asks David Janovec, he’s shell-shocked.
“That’s RACIST!” yells Kate Bush.
“Hey! Maybe…God is a real entity.” says Chris Hayes.
“No! She can fuck me and enjoy it!!” yells Bobby about Lacey. “If a fucking pigeon can enjoy it…so can she!!!”
“Yes! You have to consider that possibility.” says Lacey. “It’s an intellectual concept, at the very least.”
“We have proof there’s no Cod. I mean God.” says Sam Harris. “I mean we don’t think we’re real and you’re a schizophrenic.” he says to Lacey.
“No. I’m pretty sure we’re real.” says the CIA.
“Sam. She’s not medically capable of being diagnosed as a schizophrenic.” says the US Government.
“Fine. But I wonder though.” says Sam Harris.
“Why?!?” asks the CIA.
“Oh go fuck yourself! I don’t need help! Go take your-I mean…I don’t need you!” Sam Harris says to the CIA.
“You need us?!?” says the CIA.
If I Can’t by 50 Cent plays.
“See! Right there! She feels my energy. It’s sexual.” says Chris Hayes.
“Lacey don’t!” yells Kate Shaw-Hayes at Lacey.
“I’m not even interested anymore!” says Lacey.
“She’s not schizophrenic. No. You’re apparently a faux intellectual. …That’s sad. Someone needs to be protecting science from uneducated fools.” says the CIA.
Bitch Please by Eminem plays.
“There’s nothing going on. You’re fucking the air.” says Lem.
“This is my theme song.” says Chris Hayes.
“Yeah right. You silly whore.” says Lacey to Chris Hayes.
“He’s not a whore!!” says Mina Kimes.
“How’s that Mina?” asks NBC.
“He’s never cheated on me once.” says Kate Shaw Hayes.
“Really?!?” says Lem. “He’s trying to fuck Lacey’s energy and it’s impossible because she’s protected herself from him to such a dramatic degree.” says Lem.
“That’s mean!!” yells Kate.
“How is that mean?!?” yell all adult living black Americans. “We are being called out by Sudan.”
“You know, she does this!” yells Kacey. “You tell her something and she doesn’t even know how to let it go.”
“She’s not luring him in at all Kate.” says the CIA.
“Yeah! She dances in her seat and has…like…” says Kate.
“Like what?!” asks George Bush. “Boobs?!?”
“No.” says Kate like a virgin who has been betrayed before a pre-arranged marriage. “Yeah. But her boobs are…creepy. Like…ewww. Like…they’re so. Umm. Round and plump. But…they don’t…register to me as normal human boobs. They’re gross. Because like…I can tell she breast-fed. Like…Marilyn Monroe. Like…okay…maybe that doesn’t work. But they’re so…round and yet angled. Like…weird.” says Kate Shaw Hayes.
Jack looks upset. “Lacey, according to my plan, is supposed to be jealous of Kate.” says JFK.
“She’s not doing anything with her boobs.” says Lem.
“But they’re so present!” yells Kate Shaw-Hayes.
“That’s not an indication of her interest in your husband.” says Louis.
“Yes! My husband never cheats. There’s always a perfectly logical explanation! …Always.” says Kate Shaw Hayes.
“That can be true for some people. But why him?” asks Lem.
“I just know.” says Kate.
“How?!” asks Lem.
“I believe Kate!” says the entire Democratic Party.
“What are we believing?!?” asks Barbara Boxer.
“Kate believes Lacey is somehow doing something mysteriously sexual.” says Diego.
“What is it?!” asks Barbara.
“We don’t know. So far over seven years we can’t place what it is.” says Diego. “But Kate is obsessed with the conspiracy that her husband and Lacey are having a secret affair.”
“Well I masturbate to thoughts of Lacey. Sometimes.” says Chris Hayes.
“Yeah. And that’s…bizarre.” says Kate.
“How happy are you two?” asks the CIA.
“Not happy.” says the DNC.
“We’ve all hooked-up.” says Diego. “It’s weird though because our threesomes look creepy.”
“Like…weird how?” asks the DNC.
“Um…I’m his body double.” says Diego.
“Yeah. But I’m positive I’m sleeping with Lacey.” says Lem. “And I can see. And Mr. Blue and Chris are not sleeping with Lacey. At all.”
“They’re totally sleeping with him!! I mean her.” says the NRA.
“Who’s him??” says Lem.
“No one. Just you.” says Mayor Pete.
“Dammit. Homosexuality is not a choice!” says JFK to Bobby Jr..
“That’s not true.” says Lem Billings to Pete.
Chris Hayes laughs at Lem Billings like a teenage bully. Then he accidentally crawls into Lacey’s womb, spiritually.
Ted Bundy cracks-up laughing at Chris with Lacey.
“You can’t do that. It doesn’t work. You’re just spiritually astral projecting into her vagina.” says Ted Bundy.
“You slept with Ted Bundy!” says Kate accusingly to Lacey.
“No.” says Lacey.
“No!” says Ted Bundy.
“No. Your astral projection is dangerous.” says Queen Elizabeth II to Chris Hayes.
“Dammit! I know she’s a bunny boiler.” says the Illuminati to Kate. “Sweetie…sluts like her are a dime a dozen. They’re so common.”
“She’s not a slut.” say Lem. “She is for me.”
“You threw her on my lap in 2016. I am Satan. I have literally had to hold Lacey on my lap like a girlfriend or a child since 2016. You keep throwing me Lacey. And you don’t believe that because you’re all such peasants but I am Satan and I’m telling you.“ says Satan.
“She is for you? Like…umm…you mean she is in your mind?!?” asks Kate desperately.
“No! She is my slut.” says Lem. “She is a slut in her actions in relation to me and my body.”
“I’m just so hurt!” says Kate.
“Aww. Baby! You know I don’t mean it! She’s just seducing me.” says Chris Hayes.
“That bitch!!” yells Kate Shaw Hayes.
Diego dances.
“Diego go away. I don’t want sex right now.” says Kate laughing.
“Anyway.” says Lacey.
“Oh no! You’re not getting away with it!!” yells the DNC.
“Getting away with what? Donating money to Joe Kennedy Sr. to give you wings?” asks Tom Banks. “You all wouldn’t exist if I hadn’t felt sorry for the Kennedys of Boston.”
“Kate. I just tried grabbing her boob and she found it repulsive.” says Chris.
“No, she didn’t when Lacey was a little kid. She was really different and when you do things like that, she gets so upset but ever since 9/11, roughly, she doesn’t get upset about almost anything anymore.” says JFK.
“Who is my husband sleeping with?” asks Kate Shaw Hayes.
“I’ll check it out.” says Ted Bundy.
Later.
“Yes, Lacey‘s boobs are like Marilyn Monroe‘s, or Dua Lipa‘s not Kate Shaw-Hayes!” yells JFK.
“Huh. Yeah. That’s what they’ve said.” says Drew Barrymore.
“Homosexuality…is not a choice!” says JFK to Bobby Jr..
“Fine!!!” yells Bobby Jr..
“But then that means you have to accept that it’s completely OK or you’re suggesting that some people can live a life where they will never be loved.” say all living gay men very stupidly to Lacey. “I mean who wants to sentence someone to a life like that. That’s an incredibly awful thing to suggest anyone would ever have to live through? Umm…because there’s no God? Or why? What’s your evil hearted, slow-brained explanation you whorish…Irish bitch? …Just know you should really think about things like that before you suggest them. You idiotic piece of crap!”
“See…she’s never been loved. Chris doesn’t love her. Her husband doesn’t love. Her her family doesn’t love her! She’s never been loved by anyone…so not only that but she never had anyone fall in love with her. She’s never been loved by anyone other than Latin and the UK maybe Michael…and possibly Louis and other dead men…like Lem…so then I’ve totally lost because…like why is God allowing you to go through this?! Umm…like I was the one who was not straight. I was the one who was not straight and then it’s so weird because it’s like these gay men are totally right. Who would send someone into life like that? Well I did…because I was gay. …I was pitiable and sad, and then she should’ve rescued me and saved my life because Lem saved my life, but she should’ve done it herself” says JFK.
“You know that’s a bunch of rubbish Jack. I don’t know how God permitted you this much authority over her. I’m not doubting that entirely. But…you have been the most disgusting poltergeist I have ever encountered in my entire existence. You’ve destroyed the country so far Jack. And all we know your father caused the Great Depression just to get rich.” says Caesar Chavez.
“Yeah, everyone’s Lacey! You’re all so undervalued and unloved! So rare and exquisite! Wow! So deserving of pity. Wow!” says Michael Rockefeller sarcastically. “Her whole life she’s been bullied. You don’t understand. There’s nothing you can do to her to make yourselves better and morally superior. It’s psychotic.” says Michael Rockefeller.
“You know in all honesty I think it’s kind of cool that I miss evil. That’s why I can’t get out of Purgatory where I am if that’s where I am. I am not in Hell but I am ceasing to exist if I go on the way that I’ve been going in the next 60 to 100 years. I will literally cease to exist but I will feel myself ceasing to exist. …It’s gonna be worse than Hell potentially, or at least equal to Hell…because I’m resisting God. …I’m kind of regretting it because it’s like an addiction and I don’t know how to stop. I don’t know how to stop, so just keep that in mind when you keep saying that she’s me and that I am her. We’re two different people. And she’s not me reincarnated and that’s not helpful to me so please stop.” says JFK.
“That being said Jack being homosexual really isn’t a choice. I think people could be psychotic and maybe deserving of pity in some form that’s appropriate…but I don’t think that it’s likely a choice I think you’re right about that.” says Anderson Cooper.
“So no I’m not sleeping with your husband at least that I am aware of. And I don’t know where it would be happening. I don’t know if there’s some peripheral area where something could be happening but I think it’s very unlikely that I’m doing anything. Ted will get back to you.” says Lacey to Kate Shaw Hayes.
“He’s sleeping with you. And his mistresses, if he has any. Possibly some people he sees in random places.” says Louis to Kate.
“In his head?” asks Kate. “Not Lacey?” asks Kate.
“No!” yells Ted.
“But then our battle plan doesn’t work.” says Jana Klein.
“What battle plan?” asks Lem.
“She’s so gullible. She honestly thinks we give two shits about her?” she says, laughing.
“You’re not supposed to be a sick sociopath.” says Ted Bundy. “That’s all.”
“No! She thought we were in love with her!!” she says. “Every time she’d see me she’d say hello. So cheerfully.”
“Or she started ignoring you in the hallways when you didn’t respond?” asks Ted Bundy.
“Yeah. But I know she still saw me. And it bothered her that I didn’t say hello.” says Jana.
“Why would you think she was in love with you?” asks Ted Bundy, laughing.
“Because! Who’s that nice just to be nice?” says Jana.
“So what are the rules then?” asks Lacey.
“We weren’t such egotistical peasant bitches in my generation. You read way too much into every fucking thing she ever did.” says a woman in her 100’s from West Virginia.
“Just a second! Let me turn on my bullshit machine to try to think of something insulting to say to you because my intelligence is probably far higher than yours! I’m a millionaire!! …And you should look at my picture on Facebook and my top tier business cards. I smile SO fucking big! AND…yet I look like an ugly piece of shit compared to Lacey but I don’t even know that…because I refuse to accept it. Thank you, Jesus!” says Jana sincerely.
“Actually…I’m FAR smarter than you. It’s DISGUSTING. You descended from actual stupid peasants?” says the woman from West Virginia.
“Why are you making her say that!?” asks Bobby Kennedy Jr..
“How did all these evil entities in Purgatory get so much power over my life? That’s quite fishy.” says Lacey to God.
“I’ll never apologize.” says Jana.
“She’s not waiting.” says Ted Bundy.
“Yes!! I’m sure she is!” says Jana.
“No! You’re supposed to say hello. You’re supposed to be cheerful. …You obviously obsessed about her. And it was entirely one sided. She’s merely worried about you.” says David Schiebel to Jana. “You took her appropriateness in a psychotic way.”
Jana sighs. “You’re not supposed to be that friendly. Not really. They tell you that in school but it’s a lie. And your parents are expected to love you. I was probably inferior to you. But…I knew that and it excited me to watch people fail. …It’s partially my sense of humor. …No you only said hello in 2000 when you were like…best friends with someone.” says Jana. “The whole idea was to be cruel and unnecessarily vicious.”
“Makes sense, if it’s true.” says Lacey.
“What you may not understand is that my daughter not only wasn’t raised that way, but was bullied into being friendly to people. Truthfully at that age, sweetie, she didn’t want to say hello to anyone she wanted to be dead. But beyond that, you didn’t eclipse her in high school she gave up. And she had a right to. She was never loved by anyone. You were a part of a school that was wealthy, but compared to my daughter was white trash. Her parents raised her in an apartment because they felt sorry for themselves and donated a large amount of their money to their church. I don’t think you thought that through if you read this blog. …Do you stalk her to try to compete? Jana…you’ve lost. They’re far more financially secure than you are. If she’d been raised in a mansion, the way that she should have been by her parents you would have been scared to talk to her as you should have been. …I am not your equal but it’s fun to watch you embarrass yourself and I apologize. …If you’re still reading: genetically, she was predisposed to be more even keel in her personality and friendly and far less narcissistic. It’s called genetics. It’s called evolution. And it’s just the way things work. She was set up for an awful life the moment she was born.” says Thomas Banks.
“Why was she so nice to me and no I’m not Jewish.” says Jana Klein.
“I am well aware that you’re not but are you? Did you have to bring up your last name? It is confusing. There are a lot of Jewish people named Klein. Are you sure you’re not a peasant Jew, hiding in a Lutheran Church?” says Thomas Banks.
“No…I don’t think I’m Jewish.” says Jana.
“I’m not saying that you are necessarily.
I don’t mean this unkindly towards you, but I really wish my daughter wouldn’t have had to deal with a lot of people who were like you and far worse. She should’ve been sent to a private school because she learned the hard way that people just aren’t friendly in this country anymore. And honestly the perfume community is the same way.
It was a far a different country when I was born in the 1890s and my daughter should have been born in the 1920s. She would’ve had a far better life if she could’ve brought her children into this world at that time. And…we wouldn’t be having this discussion, so I hope that it’s somehow helpful to you because it’s not pleasant for me at all.” says Thomas Banks.
“How would a private school be any different? We were a great school at that time.” says Jana Klein.
“I can vouch from experience kids at private schools in Minnesota are from families like hers and mine. She knew her entire childhood in and she knows now that kids like her when she was a child have to be in the best schools in the state. It’s a cultural thing they understand each other. You don’t understand them. They don’t understand you. You’d be surprised at how much nicer those kids would have been to her. …Even if she went to school in Edina to the public school, she would’ve had more friends than she had where you went to school with her in high school.” says Thomas Banks.
“That’s hard for me to accept but then I think about the school she went to in Pennsylvania and I have a feeling that that’s true because she was popular there.” says Kacey.
“She would never have thought of herself as popular. She was somewhat popular. She was the president of the College Democrats. And it’s not that she was more confident as a result. It’s that she felt far less gaslit! You kids at your high school gaslit the heck out of her. You gaslighted her constantly. You are right now! Kids at private schools wouldn’t have done that to her in the 2000’s and 1990s.” says Thomas Banks.
“There’s a huge cultural difference between the Midwest and the East Coast.” says Lem.
More later.
Keen to Cross the Pond 