Lem’s Baby

Red Lips, Kiss My Blues Away by Harry Maxfield and Leo Reisman & His Orchestra plays.

“I was eleven when that song was released.” says Lem. “You wonder how I thought of Lacey? Look at the woman on the cover of that. She looks at lot like Lacey in person. Except…Lacey is prettier and more serene.”

“What happens if you blow-up the woman above and my family?” asks Lem. “She is saved by grace through faith.”

Hate It Or Love It by 50 Cent plays.

“When Lacey first heard this song she loved it.” says Lem. “It’s one of the best songs ever written and produced and performed. It’s brilliant. It’s…just as good as anything but the Bible itself.”

The song plays.

“You know…let’s think through what would happen if I took my family and Mark to Heaven.” says Lem.

“She’d die.

My kids would die.

Mark, my friend, would die.” says Lem.

“And why’s that a bad thing?” asks a living Millennial.

“It’s not.” says Lem.

“We’re going to try to kill them if God allows it.” says dead West Virginia. “We’re just looking for a perfect way.”

“I’m really excited about it. It might not work but golly it’d be nice. You’ve got her nervous system on edge daily. Her lungs aren’t great. …She’s struggling.” says Lem. “At 40.”

“Why the hell did you start this seven years ago?” asks the Illuminati of Diego Blue.

“Why?” he asks, exhausted.

“Because! Because if they succeed…and she dies…we’ll look culpable.” says the Illuminati.

“Is it possible…that my dear wife…has confused all of you?” asks Lem. “It was dangerous to kill JFK but you got away with it. Killing her…is weird. …And yet…someone in the Illuminati is doing it.”

Crickets chirp.

“Let’s see.

They die. It’s fun. I get to hold my kids. They get to meet their grandparents and other family members. They get to meet me.

I can talk about things face to face with my son before he grows-up.” says Lem. He cries. “It sounds like great fun! …And…Mark gets remarried.” He thinks. “I’m not sure. Exactly what is the downside?”

Crickets chirp.

“Because of Christ…death at the right time for her and her family will be sweet after a life of torture in a fallen world. And so…why…are you fouling that up?” asks Lem. “Your strategy of attack has never made sense.”

Crickets chirp.

“If you kill her and her family they’ll be happy. Extremely happy. …And then people will start dying. Neighbors. Old co-workers. You get the idea.” Lem pauses. “And it might not be the end of the world. It’ll be…interesting to watch.”

Crickets chirp.

“And if she dies badly? It’s up to us.” says Lem’s. “And God. But those kids will most likely be dead within a year. Tops. Because she’ll probably be slowly edging them to us.”

Crickets chirp.

“What you’re doing now is probably worse car scenario. You’re actually trying to kill them. But…you’re doing it badly. …It’s just pure torture.” He thinks. “And if you kidnap her or her kids or her husband that’ll be nuclear war. Or…death to America? We’ll see. And if you leave one of them paralyzed…bad, bad news. …So…just blow them up perfectly into pieces all at the same time… All four of them…or…deal with the consequences. Or…let them live and let us decide with God when to do it.” says Lem.

Michael nods in agreement.

“Goodnight!” says Lem.