Stuffy

Lacey is stuffy because of the Berge Silversmiths in Norway, primarily. Maybe the millions made in the 1940’s or 50’s and possibly the knights author. It’s sincere. It’s real. …And if she’s illegitimate it could be highlighted by her father who loved her still.

“Diego started a class war.” explains Chris Hayes.

Swan Lake by Tchaikovsky plays.

“Diego…felt back in 2016 that Kate and I should be ‘vindicated.’” explains Chris Hayes. “He left his diary.”

“Actually, it’s a set of three books dating back to 2016.” says Kate Shaw Hayes.

“He apparently wanted to get us recognized by the old money elite as being their superior or equal. And he couldn’t believe Lacey counted. But he wanted her to capitulate her status as phony compared to our status.” says Chris Hayes, dreamily. “He writes about his time exploring Manhattan. Seeing the beauty of New York City at night in the summer and deciding that…just spending money on any property in New York City at all…made one…elite. …He loved New York.” Chris Hayes cries. “We loved Diego!”

Kate sighs. “Yeah. …He was hurt that we weren’t considered to be as elite as Lacey. Because he could sense it. He found her blog after she hash-tagged my husband. And he felt hurt for us. …Diego was so perceptive.”

Silence.

“And so…with his suicidal tendencies he concocted a plan to end the world…if he couldn’t get us aristocratic titles in the eyes of the world.” says Kate Shaw Hayes. “But being Diego…he…only wanted it to be real.”

“No charity. No lies.” says Chris Hayes.

“And in 2017 it started to fall apart. Because he read Simon Johnson’s novel. And he decided that…he didn’t care anymore.” laughs Kate. “From Fjord to Prairie.”

“He took a vacation to North Dakota and…visited the Bad Lands.” says Chris Hayes. “Badlands.”

“Anyway…he…fell in love with the Midwest.” says Kate.

“And that’s when he decided to play the long game.” says Chris in irritation.

IPlayYouListen by ODESZA plays.

“He invested wisely. Took his money. And by this year he made plans to leave us.” says Chris Hayes.

“What is his long game?” asks the CIA.

“We don’t know. He stopped explaining himself after 2022.” says Chris Hayes. “In that way.”

“He’s gone.” says Kate, crying.

“He’s where?!?” asks the CIA.

“Mexico?!?” says Chris Hayes in fear. He rubs his head.

“We don’t know.” says Kate also in fear.

“The Illuminati can’t find his spirit signal.” says a psychic.

“Lacey…do you know?” asks Rupert Murdoch.

“Not easily.” says Lacey. She doesn’t want to use witchcraft.

“Dammit!” yells Kate Shaw Hayes, throwing her glass across the room.

“Why did you two decide to bring him into your lives?” asks Frannie Franken of “The Blues.”

Kate sighs and rolls her eyes. “I…”. She throws her head back in her chair.

“Kate! Don’t freak out!” says Chris Hayes.

“He made us happy.” says Kate.

“Yeah. He made a lot of us happy.” says a woman who slept with him in an Illuminati ritual.

Kate cries bitter tears.

“Diego was our lucky star.” says Chris Hayes, smiling fondly as he thinks of Diego Blue.

“He was…” says Kate crying.

“Hey! We’ll find him!” says an Illuminati psychic.

“Where??” asks Kate, in a rage.

“In my heart I think he’s still in Mexico.” says the psychic.

“Yeah. He grew-up there.” says Kate.

“Kate! You visited his hometown.” says the woman.

“I did. Twice.” says Kate.

“We’re obviously checking there. But he’s not there. Umm…” says an Illuminati psychic in exasperation. She shrugs.

“How do we know he’s not in Russia?” asks Edward Snowden.

“Russia?!?” scoffs Kate.

I Will Run From You by Cemeteries plays.

“Yeah!” says Edward Snowden, snickering.

“I can’t believe that. But…maybe?” says Kate.

“Why?” asks Edward Snowden.

“Because! He loved Mexico!” says Kate.

“Where in the World…is Diego…Blue?” says Elizabeth Banks. She laughs.

“He knows a lot. And he’s extremely dangerous. Why did we let him drive around totally undetected in the American southwest last week?” asks the FBI.

The Illuminati goes quiet in thought.

Treat Her Better by Mac DeMarco plays.

“Maybe he’s just…taking a vacation.” says Kate, shaking.

“I doubt it!” says Joe Biden.

“Yeah. Me too.” says Hillary Clinton.

“Hey. It’s gonna be okay.” says Bill Clinton. “Diego was an idiot!”

Hillary feels uncomfortable.

Bill is made nervous by that.

About The Weather by Tom Rosenthal plays.

“Is it real?” asks Tom Clancy.

“Theoretically.” says Lacey. “Right?”

“I’m in bed. Eating Cheetos!” yells Diego Blue, giggling. Then his signal drops off.

The song plays.

The song plays.

It’s hot outside. The morning sun is kinder.

Is Diego real? Is he a living man? Is he a ghost? The ghost of a migrant worker who died in the heat? Or did he entrance the Hayes – Shaw clan in 2010? 2014?

“Don’t you know?” asks Michael Rockefeller of the Illuminati. “I thought you guys proclaimed yourselves to be gods. A real god would know.”

“Why doesn’t Satan tell you?” asks Lem.

“Because he’s…just busy?” says a man.

“Huh. I thought you had his number for emergencies.” says Lem.

“Look! Diego…can use his telepathy for good!” says Kate.

Chris Hayes looks worried.

“Chris be careful!” says Erin Gloria Ryan.

“He’s gotta be around here somewhere?!” jokes Mina Kimes.

“Umm…look…I think…we need to…umm…chill out.” says Christopher Walken.

“I don’t understand why…we aren’t…killing him?” asks Jill Biden.

“Because he’s gone.” says the CIA.

“He’s going to use his telepathy to start trouble! He’s…suicidal.” says Brian Williams.

“I did the turbulence!” says Diego Blue out of nowhere.

“When?!?” asks Boeings with a cute wink at a Llama. The Llama is dead?

“From Milan to Atlanta.” says Diego.

Gnossienne For Piano No. 1 by Erik Satie as played by Julie Scolnik and Franziska Huhn plays.

“How?!” asks Putin.

“You know how.” says Diego Blue.

“Do I?” asks Tsar Putin.

“Yes. You do. …I’m not revealing my sources on this blog.” he says. “It’s not safe for Lacey.”

“Why??” yells Chris Hayes.

“Because! You need to shut-up!” yells Diego Blue.

“Lover…how did you hurt the peoples on the plane?” asks Batgirl III.

“I used wind.” he says. “I don’t think I’ll try using that again. People didn’t die.” He thinks. “I thought if I shook the plane right…they’d all…die.”

“Any ideas what you’ll try next?” asks the Illuminati.

“I’ll try smashing a plane into the ocean.” says Diego Blue.

“Hunting For The Talented Mr. Blue?” jokes a society lady.

Diego Blue laughs. “It’s unlikely I’ll do anything stupid again.”

“How did you use the wind?” asks Princess Grace Kelly.

“I used demonic spirits.” says Diego. “They shook the plane.” He thinks. “Global Warming is…very dangerous.”

“Why aren’t we having more downed planes?” asks Boeings.

“Because! God keeps us safe. Because I found demons who God couldn’t protect them from because of their own sin. And then the plane shook because of Global Warming. Easy peasy.” says Diego.

“So they were going to die and go to Hell?!?” asks Kenneth Copeland.

“Maybe that’s why they didn’t die.” says Diego Blue.

A woman from Bethany School of Missions laughs.

“So…the Illuminati has members who are throwing kids off cliffs…preemptively…to combat Mr. Blue?!?” asks the woman laughing. “Or no! Maybe not exactly but close.”

“We have to do our Satan’s bidding.” says Billie Eilish sarcastically.

“My goodness. And so…to fight evil…you’re causing quite the ruckus. Or no! You’re causing the ruckus to fight off good?!” laughs a dead British man.

“Diego. Why?” asks the perfume community.

“Because. Children are suffering. And I want death!” yells Diego. “Death for the culture of the American-community-of-evil.”

And at that Diego is served champagne.

“He’s flying into Cairo.” says the CIA.

“I’m flying in luxury!” shouts Diego, scoffing.

“Who paid for your ticket?” yells the CIA.

“Iraq!” says Diego.

Jonah Wiley laughs.

“They’re most kind!” he says, giggling.

“So Diego…you’re landing in Cairo?” asks the CIA.

“I already did. I’m on a private jet to someone who has been working for me since 2020.” days Diego Blue. “I went to your parties, dahling.”

“Are you going to be able to do more turbulence?” asks the CIA.

“No! I’m not. But you know…it was far too easy.” says Diego Blue.

“How did you know?” says Kate to Diego Blue.

“Kate! I love you!” yells Diego.

“Why!?!” says Kate in tears.

“Hush! I’m praying for those people.” says Diego.

And at that Kate rushes out the room.

Feuillet d’album by Pascal Rogé plays.

“Kate! I won’t do it so stupidly again, my love. I LOVE YOU!” he yells. “And I don’t care who knows it.”

Kate can hear him but barely. Her bedroom isn’t as easily talked in telepathically as her living-room.

“I’ll see you later!” says Diego Blue.

Where is Diego? On a luxury jet. Flying over the ocean. To a remote island. Owned by the wealthy of the wealthiest.

Are they evil? Are they good?

What do you think?

What you think matters.

And God knows.

“Are they evil?” asks the CIA.

“Who are they?” asks the FBI.

“We have ten ideas. How many do you have?” asks the CIA.

“Seven.” says the FBI.

“Don’t worry. Kate will help us.” says the CIA.

“Don’t be so sure!” says another CIA operative.

“We cannot have Diego on the loose…causing disasters.” says the first CIA operative.

“Erin…know any good psychopaths? We need him dead.” says another CIA agent to Erin Gloria Ryan.

“This whole thing reads like a radio show.” says Dmitry.

“It does, maybe!” says Lem.

“I won’t do turbulences!” laughs Diego getting sprayed with Louis Vuitton Turbulences by a Kate Shaw Hayes lookalike. “You aren’t Kate. But she’s married.” he says sadly before signing off for the night in the US.

“She’s married to me.” says Chris Hayes.

“We found him. In Cancún. His eyes were so Bleue. So very, very blue.” says Kate. “So…like the sky and sea all around us. Azure.”

“And in his mercy he gave us cool beverages.” says Chris Hayes.

Kate laughs. “I knew he was…a friend.”

“He was very good at chess.” says Chris Hayes.

“He was my source!” says Kate trying not to cry.

“He was my source too.” says Chris Hayes.

“I loved his…eyes.” says Kate.

Chris looks at her. He sighs.

“What’s on television?” he asks.

“You!” she says proudly.

He grins. Leans back in his chair and kicks-up his feet proudly. He’s so proud he can’t even talk.

“Goodnight, Diego!” says President Joe Biden. “We love you!”

Clair de lune by Debussy plays.

Is Diego Blue the most dangerous man in the world? Is Diego Blue the most fascinating man in the world? Maybe. Kate isn’t the most beautiful woman by far…or the smartest or the strongest or the kindest or the most loving…or the grandest or most forgiving…or sweetest…but…she has his heart. What was it about her he loved? Her. Diego loved her. And that amazing love between an adult man and an adult woman is something we don’t ever discuss nowadays. Because what is it based on?

It’s not that Kate Shaw Hayes is lacking in all beauty. No. Diego found her to be beautiful. But it wasn’t an award. It was…her. He just loved…her. She could have been less beautiful or more beautiful but her unique female spirit was what he wanted to be near and love.

Chris Hayes yawns.

Kate loves her husband Chris. But let’s hope in Heaven…should they be going there…that…Chris loves her more than Diego Blue…or speaking from experience…he’s going to be in trouble. Because…Diego is dangerous.

Thank God there’s God.

Gymmopedie No. 2 by Satie plays.