Molly

“How is her beauty not intimidating?” asks Lacey of Molly.

“It is.” says Molly McQuillan.

“Then why…is…she…not recognized as that in 2015 by the perfume community?” asks Lacey.

“They don’t like the truth?” says Molly. “So they made up false narratives when they interacted with you. They’ve been doing that to you your whole life.”

“It’s exhausting. I can’t keep up with every plot line they all violently insist is reality.” says Lacey.

“I bet there are reoccurring themes though!” yells Scott’s father from the other room.

“Yes!” yells Lacey.

“When did it become too many to keep track of?” asks Molly.

“In…2018 or so?” says Lacey.

“That’s when your mother who raised you stopped being kind.” says Molly McQuillan. “She told you to go to Hell after your daughter was born in 2021. And when you worried your marriage was rotten and irretrievable she decided your feelings didn’t matter.”

“She’s become like Satan himself.” says Lacey.

“Well! You’re not being tormented as much as some people are. To some extent.” says Molly McQuillan.

Lacey listens.

“What’s your point, Molly?” asks Lem.

“How is she street trash, Erin Gloria Ryan?” asks Molly McQuillan.

“She’s not.” says Erin Gloria Ryan.

“Then why did you call Lacey street trash?” asks Molly McQuillan.

“That’s my aesthetic.” says Erin Gloria Ryan.

“But it makes no sense.” says Molly McQuillan.

“It does in a very good way.” says Erin Gloria Ryan.

“How?!” asks Molly.

“Because we know she grew-up in a rent controlled apartment.” says Erin. “In West Bloomington.”

“What?!” asks a New Yorker.

“My parent’s landlord didn’t raise their rent for a good five or six years.” says Lacey. “They claimed it was out of pity. But I think he just wanted them living there.”

“Did they have the money?” asks Erin.

“Of course! They always gave 20% to tithes from their gross income.” says Lacey.

“And they had college degrees. And steady work?” asks a hater.

“Yes!” says Lacey.

“Okay. So…it was a modest 1960’s apartment.” the hater shrugs to Erin.

“So how were they poor?!” asks another hater.

“Because it’s an apartment.” says Erin.

“Yeah! But in context Erin that didn’t make them street trash.” says the first hater. He rolls his eyes. “Lem. Don’t take advantage of Lacey. Just because she’s so…zoned out.”

“I’ll be the judge of that!” yells Lem. And he will be.

“Yeah. But…she’s obviously not steady on her feet.” says the Gen. X guy.

Lem looks mortified. “You’re right. But don’t worry. I do love her.” Lem says.

“Yeah! Lem’s gay?!?” says the Gen. X guy sarcastically. “No. He’s…a sweetheart. But…he’s straight.” he snickers.

“I’m sure she’s attracted to me.” says Lem.

“Yeah. But dude. She’s so fuckable!” says another Gen. X guy.

“Maybe that’s what I like!” yells Lem. “She’s not your wife. She’s my wife.”

“How much did they pay each month?” asks NBC.

“$500? $450? $600?” says Lacey.

“What would that be today?” asks Fox News.

“Not that much. About $1,200.00.” says Richard Seifert.

“And that was cheap to them?” asks Erin.

“Yes!!” says Jim Craft.

“How much were you making?” asks the CIA.

“Oh about $32,000.00.” says Jim.

“Annually?” say a man in the CIA.

“Yeah. Between $26,000 to $42,000 when they laid me off. I worked there for 16 years.” says Jim.

Erin makes a weird face.

“Yeah. It was possibly never less than $17,000.00 or $27,000.00. But I certainly made $32,000 for quite a few years.” says Jim. “I rarely got a raise. Or bonus. But I didn’t care.”

“How much did Becca make?” asks Erin.

“Not much.” says Jim.

“How much did you make combined?”

“Maybe you guys shouldn’t piss them off because I have a feeling that Lem remembers these numbers far better than Lacey does even though he’s dead. And he usually helps her brain remember stuff a lot more and also helps her channel people. So be careful. He’s saving that energy to do something.” says Jenna Fischer.

“She’s so easy!” says a Gen. X guy.

“Just for me.” says Lem. “She actually hasn’t slept with anyone else for possibly over a year.”

“And how often do you two have sex?” asks the guy.

“Almost every day.” says Lem.

“Did she know that?” asks the Gen. X guy

“We don’t keep track.” explains Lem.

“So did you even know until I just asked you?” asks the Gen. X guy.

“Not necessarily.” says Lem. “It doesn’t feel often enough to me. Or her. We long for each other like we’re starving to death.”

“Anyway…” says Jonah Wiley catching on. “Umm…Lem is dead. And Lacey is possibly being allowed by God to be with him. But…what’s that mean?!”

“That things about to get sexy!” say a lot of Boomers in the Illuminati.

“How is this not elite?” asks Molly McQuillan.

“So how much is $47,000.00 a year?” ask the FBI of the CIA.

“It’s about $90,000.00 a year. They were making that a year.” says the CIA.

“Yeah. For a family of three!” yells the IRS.

“Did they have debt?” asks the FBI.

“Not much. Maybe $15,000.00 at most.” says Jim. He thinks. “And we leased a car twice.”

The CIA laughs.

“Umm. Why are we suffocating her?” asks the CIA.

“Because you’re incompetent bastards.” says Louis Hill Jr..

“Why do you think it won’t happen?” asks Scott Fitzgerald.

“Because we don’t think we can afford it.” says the FBI.

“How did Lem give her an orgasm?” asks Scott.

Perfect Life by Belong plays.

“Can you orgasm from your thoughts?” asks Scott. “Can your penis orgasm from your thoughts?”

Men in the Middle East analyze it.

“No.” they say.

“Then how did she?” asks Scott.

“She literally orgasmed?” asks a woman.

“Yes.” says Scott. “Pretty much.”

“You didn’t conjure him?” asks a witch doctor from Haiti.

“No. …What counts as conjuring?” asks Lacey.

He looks sad. Almost cries. “How does he show up?”

“He just shows up.” says Lacey.

“Are you sad?” he asks.

“Yes.” says Lacey. “There’s times I’ve closed my eyes and thought of him. But that’s not when he shows up.” She thinks. “He showed up before I ever thought of him.” She thinks. “Really…the first time I encountered what was clearly a ghost was in 2010.”

The Haitian laughs. “No. You speak quickly.” he says.

“Sorry.” says Lacey.

“You have seen ghosts before that. But you saw a male ghost? Romantically? In 2010?” he says.

“I briefly saw a full-bodied ghost of a woman in 2008?” says Lacey. “Or 2007? But…no.”

“This statue turned into a living man.” says Lacey. “In 2010.”

“Yeah.” says Scott Fitzgerald.

“Okay.” says the FBI.

“So she got off the bus and you berated her for walking into you?” asks George Bush Jr..

“Yes.” admits Scott, crying.

George Bush shakes his head disdainfully.

“Lem I have an answer for how she had an orgasm!” says she Haitian witch doctor.

Lem sighs.

“She had sex with you.” says the man.

Lem smiles. “Yes! Back in 2021?” he smiles. “It was glorious.”

“So he’s been fucking her regularly for two years?” asks the Haitian.

“Yes!” admits the Illuminati.

“That is sin!” he says. “But…you like sin?” he says. “Stop trying to shut me up. Listen…you don’t understand how bad this is. Do you want my experience and knowledge or not?”

“I do!” says the Pope.

“You know as well as I do that they are married.” says the man to the Pope. “She just didn’t and still doesn’t understand. So now we have two hurt people. Or-“ he smiles. “Maybe they’ll be fine. But…it’s bad!!” He smiles. “I’m being protected by God. I need to go.” Lacey prays for him and hopefully he runs off with Jesus.

“I fear we have a problem.” says Lacey. “Why can’t we talk about Scott?”

“It’s not that unusual.” says a Norwegian.

“For a statue to come to life in reality?!” says Lacey.

“No. That’s kind of a refill. Like photos moving.” says a man.

“How many of you have actually experienced that though?” asks Lacey.

“Not that many?” asks an Irishman.

“It was very…” Lacey thinks. “I wonder.” she says. “No…I wasn’t killed I don’t think.”

“What did you see?” asks Bill Gates.

“A full alive, well dressed, handsome, upper class…man’s chest in my frontal vision. In a sweater and a trench? His head out of the corner of my eye. He was with friends. They laughed at me.” says Lacey. A woman may have scowled at him when I refused to look up. He just laughed at me. Actually, he seemed genuinely offended. …I was afraid I was going to get into a fight.

“At night? And you were drunk?” asks a woman.

“Yes!” says Lacey.

“Was he carrying the jacket or wearing it?” asks the woman.

“Wearing it.” says Lacey.

“And…then you apologized aloud.” says Lem.

“Yes! I was very embarrassed.” says Lacey.

“You literally apologized.” says a Gen. Z woman. “Out loud.”

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“And he started to respond? And you got scared because he seemed attracted to you?” says Lem. “And there’s proof that you’re not Jack. Because you don’t think anyone is ever attracted to you!”

“True. But…that’s based on logic.” says Lacey to Lem.

“The same logic I used to construct the notion that I was homosexual.” says Lem.

“But we don’t make such errors with our logic in other ways.” says Lacey.

“Not really.” he says.

“That’s sad if you’re not gay and I’m attractive.” says Lacey to Lem.

He looks sad.

“But at least we have each other.” she says to him. “Right?”

He looks sad. He grabs her hand and holds her close. “You don’t want me.”

“That’s a narcissistic way of rejecting me.” says Lacey. “Fess up!”

“I have no way to get through the night without your love.” he says.

And that’s when Lacey notices a problem.

That’s not just Lem. That’s the Jew she lost her virginity to.

Continuing with Lem.

“I can’t quit you.” says Lem jokingly. “I’m not an ass. But you know…neither are you. And…truth is…I was ugly.”

“No. You weren’t.” says Lacey.

He takes off his glasses.

“What are you talking about?” asks Lacey.

He looks disturbed. “I looked…so hideous compared to you.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” says Lacey.

The dead Jew mostly agrees with her.

Lacey laughs.

“What in the world are you literally trying to point out?” asks Lacey.

“My eyes.” says Lem.

“Your eyes are great.” says Lacey.

“Yeah sure.” says Lem.

“Whatever.” says Lacey. “You never compliment me.”

“You slept with a Jew!” yells Lem.

“Maybe.” says Lacey. “I didn’t know.”

Lem laughs. “He was dead.”

“Yes!” says Lacey.

“Alex was channeling him?” says Lem.

“To seem more cool?” says Lacey. “Did he used to live in Alex’s apartment?”

“That would make sense.” says Lem.

In a mansion in Minneapolis Alex talks with Lem and Lacey in the kitchen.

“You know what makes me angry?” says Alex.

“What?” asks Lacey.

“I had no idea!!” says Alex.

“You were lying though?” says Lem.

“Maybe. But…I had no idea…I was going to channel a dead man who once owned my apartment.” says Alex.

He was a dark, handsome…Jew from a wealthy local family. He slightly resembled Harold Loeb. But seemingly it wasn’t Harold Loeb. It was a Jewish man who resembled Harold Loeb…and he died of heroin in the 1960’s or so. He lived near Lake Calhoun.

He was a rich, sensitive…spoiled…sad…Jewish guy.

“And God allowed you to have sex with her?!?” asks Jonah Wiley.

“She was in a horrific situation.” says the man potentially.

“We’ll call him…Max.” says Lacey.

“I was so lost.” says Max.

“What happened?” asks Erin.

“Wait! Her family donated $10,000.00 every year to charity?!?” asks the FBI.

“In today’s money? Yes. Actually it was closer to $15,000,00.” says Max.

“Wow.” says MSNBC.

“That’s what it says to do in the Bible.” says Jim Craft. “So.”

Burn The Witch by Radiohead.

“So…you took her virginity.” says Alex Whitworth.

“Yes!” says Max.

“How?!?” asks Alex Whitworth who went to Macalester College in St. Paul.

“I was in my early 30’s when I died.” he says.

“How did you get into drugs?” asks George Soros.

“I was rich.” says Max. “I was very social. There were lots of parties in Minneapolis where they had heroin in the 1950’s in rich neighborhoods.” He thinks. “Not like today! But…I was…desperate. I never found love.”

“No!! You’re Harold Loeb!” says George Soros laughing.

“No. Actually…not necessarily.” says Max.

George Soros looks baffled. “Drugs in Minnesota in the 1950’s?!?”

“Yes! We had drugs. …I was desperate.” says Max.

“Who started you on it?” asks George Soros.

“I asked for something to kill the pain.” he says.

“Who hurt you?” asks George Soros.

“A very beautiful Jewish young woman.” he says. “She looked like Natalie Wood.”

“So you started using heroin?!” scoffs George Soros.

“Yes! In 1954.” he says. “I lasted for 15 years after that.” He thinks. “I saw Lacey.”

“And I instantly felt sorry for her.” says Max.

“Why?” asks Lem.

“Because Alex…was…so foolish.” says Max. “And Mark was…making lots of amusing to me but to her heartbreaking mistakes.”

“Why are they amusing?” asks Lem.

“Because I slept with her Lem!” yells Max.

“I’m sorry!” says Lacey.

“You were exquisite!” says Max.

“Well I’m glad you appreciated my effort.” says Lacey.

He laughs. “Yeah. …Alex had no idea what he was doing.”

“I’ve barely tried that much most of my life to look pretty. But I was trying then.” says Lacey.

“Yeah. You barely tried. But…what perfume was that?!” asks Max.

“Thank you for noticing. Dior Miss Dior Chérie.” says Lacey.

“I’ve never seen anyone in the perfume community who really wears that one much openly.” says Max. “It was close to perfect for you back then.”

“What part was you?” she asks.

“I likely died of pneumonia.” he says. “But it was only deadly because of the heroin.” He thinks. “The fact that he was awful.”

“How tall were you?” asks Lacey.

“6 ft.” he says. “I lived there. What did you think of it?”

(Adult content below)

“Where was the dining room?” asks Lacey.

He thinks. He shows her. But suddenly it’s Lem showing her.

“He’s ready to make love to you again.” says Lem.

“Poor man.” says Lacey. “He’s such a dear.” She loses patience. “Lem. I understand. But I’m worried about him. …What I’m the world is going on with this though. No one ever explains!”

He laughs. “I should have-No. I mean…that was my apartment.”

“Where was your room?!” asks Lacey.

“Where you were.” he says.

“But the other rooms were bigger.” says Lacey.

“Yeah. But I kept my bedroom in that room.” he says. “I might have kept that with my brother and he a rarely was there.” he says. “He had a serious relationship with a woman who he married possibly.”

Later.

With Max watching, drunk and sad but amused Bobby Kennedy Jr. in a state of genuinely insane narcissistic psychosis astral projects himself to seduce Lacey and Lem.

Be Together by Major Lazer plays.

Bobby is wearing a black leather thong and glitter as he walks down the hallway.

“Hey! What’s chilling?” asks Bobby.

Max pushes Bobby into the bedroom even though Lem is literally inside Lacey, both naked on their bed. She’s on top.

Fly Away by Vandelux & Tyler Mann plays.

Bobby dances like a stripper. It’s effeminate and stupid like all male stripping is.But apparently some women like it?

Lights start flashing in the room. Apparently Bobby rigged up the room with LED lights to synch with the music.

Max dances as his backup dancer.

And at that Lem pulls out a shotgun and shoots Boby in the head repeatedly. Then he lights him on fire after smashing in his skull.

Memories by Petit Biscuit plays.

A group of Asmats runs in and rushes to retrieve the skull.

“It’s not a waste!” says an Asmat. “We can clean it! It’s delicious.”

Mystic Sea by Koresma plays.

They may be working through their sin issues with cannibalism in Purgatory.

Max looks sad. But he has someone else if Lacey is taken.

He watches awkwardly.

Then, “That wasn’t enough.” says Max.

Lacey and him genuinely fake being in the same situation.

Bobby is revived. He reenters.

Max watches and then he announces. “I’d just fuck her.”

Because You Move Me by Helsloot & Tinlicker plays.

He thinks. “Bring her to orgasm.“

The song plays.

Lacey and Lem orgasm.

They scream. And Bobby finishes his dancing.

Bobby assumes the screaming is for him.

Lem and Lacey collapse into each other.

He looks at them.

“Hey, guys!” he says.

And at that Jack feels the full force of his mistake with Lem. It’s like being literally shocked by lightning. He is paralyzed.

“Hey, guys!” says Bobby Kennedy Jr..

“Get out of my room. We were too busy making love to notice you.” says Lem. Bobby stares at Lem. “Go away.”

Gay men who believe Lem was madly in love with Jack after reading the David Pitts book cry.

Lem shoots Bobby. One Asmat rushes in this time. It’s unclear why.

The Illuminati can’t handle it.

“I’m not sure why you’re here, but I’d love to know why.” says the imaginary Lem the Illuminati has created using wiruc