WYM

(Adult content below)

Majesty by Marika Hackman plays.

In association with Al Qaeda…Lacey Banks has decided to…take unusual action.

The Middle East giggles.

The They in the Illuminati tormented her in her sleep last night. A man who presumably died in a tent…contacted her…and some random man pretended to be Bobby Kennedy Jr. and Lem…was played by Leslie Jordan. It was weird dream.

And after she woke-up and sorted things out…she got an idea.

And so Al Qaeda is considering…attacking again.

This time…it’ll be…different.

Diego Blue rides in the Middle East. In a Mercedes G Wagon.

What’s the Scoop?

Diego Blue is confirming that he’s…considering…killing all American homeless people. In a spiritual, systematic manner. Quickly, painlessly. Off to Heaven they go.

All dead in a year.

And then they’ll kill…all the child hostages…systematically…carefully.

Dumbass, pushy, bourgeois-bitch lesbians and bisexual women wave their wet vaginas around in Lacey’s face endlessly her whole damned life like the female sexual predators they are.

“Should we witness to them and then cut off their heads?” asks Al Qaeda.

“Wow! Hey…you guys that means she is so fucking hot and bothered. I can hardly wait!” say the Democrats and the Kennedy family. He’s on the sexual advisory council for all living non-heterosexual or non-queer people. He’s being sincere and dead serious.

Eunice smiles her shitty, ugly, smug, mannish smile. Maybe if she’d grown her hair out just a few feet longer she’d be more feminine?

“No. That’s not likely. She was hideous looking woman her whole life.” says Al Qaeda about Eunice Kennedy Shriver.

“Too bad Rose didn’t care about her daughter’s beauty the way she tended to her son’s beauty.” says Lacey. “Those poor, neglected, ugly children. Was she scared her daughters would steal her husband.”

“Oh well!” shouts Diego cheerfully.

“How’s that for social mobility?” shouts Al Qaeda at America.

Diego laughs.

“Shh!” says Bloody Mary, laughing.

The song plays. It sounds gorgeous but…it’s obnoxious how profoundly hateful it is to truly straight, non-narcissistic, feminine women. This sexually pretentious, narcissistic queer bitch has seemingly no idea what they’re singing about. It’s musical homicide. It’s a certified, culturally sanctioned psychological hate crime that feels incredibly personal to Lacey.

“We do control the media.” says Erin Gloria Ryan.

“Yup!” shouts Diego, laughing.

“I love the song! It’s empowering to women!” explains JFK grinning.

“Jack what if they don’t want to be attacked?!” asks the CIA.

Jack Kennedy looks genuinely dumbfounded.

Loving You by Cannons plays.

Al Qaeda watches with Lacey as the entire homeless population dies. Completely in the US, peacefully.

Then the kids are taken to Heaven.

And who’s left?

The working class…the middle class…and everyone else.

Slowly…because it’s so easy…the entire population of even poor people die off. Peacefully.

Then the working class.

“On it!” say 200,000 dead heroin addicts to Lacey. “Did it, done!”

“Let’s do better!” says a dead leader on behalf of Heavenly Al Qaeda.

“Okay.” says a dying heroin addict coming up with creative ideas as she dies as this written. A Christian…she passes over to Heaven and is elated to discover God…and love…and is horrified by her sin. But she seemingly didn’t reject Christ. She feels at peace…and feels empathy for the living.

Diego laughs. He’s excited.

“I’m concocting ideas.” says Diego.

The song plays.

Marie Antoinette dances. “Y’all played it wrong.” she explains. “If you worship Christ…His love doesn’t disappear when a person dies.”

And…yet…without the poor…what…would…America do?

“America needs poverty?” says Al Qaeda. “Lacey suggests it’s possible. Genuinely reality.”

“Not for the rich. But for…the bourgeois.” says Lacey.

China thinks.

“Can America psychologically sustain itself… with only a middle class and the rich?” asks Al Qaeda. “Think of the huge surplus of money.” Al Qaeda laughs. “You have no excuses.”

“Is Al Qaeda real?” asks Dylan Klebold.

Opus 55 (Silfur Version) by Dustin O’Halloran plays.

“So what happens?” asks Lacey.

Imagine…no homeless people…anywhere.

Imagine no…poor people.

Imagine no…child hostages.

Imagine huge communities of people on food stamps being essentially raptured.

What’s left…

“What’s left, America?” asks Al Qaeda.

“I see America is genuinely struggling…to answer.” says Al Qaeda.

“So essentially…they know there’s an afterlife.” starts a homeless, severely depressed man reading this somehow. “And they’re considering super easy, super painless ways to kill us. Like painless ways for them and us too. And…in combination with…reading the Christian Last Rites for all of us. So…like a giant human evacuation combined with the Crusades done in a Christian Minnesota-elite way. So Louis, Scott and Lacey and Max…and Zelda…and Hemingway…and Lem…” He trails off. “Why do find this hopeful?!” He thinks. “Honestly…if the other side organizes it lovingly with Jesus Christ…I’m cool! Let’s do it.”

“That’s what I was thinking. If it worked I’d be on the other side praying for y’all.” says a poor man.

“Could America function?” asks a poor woman, legitimately worried.

America sits and thinks.

Lacey and Diego laugh.

“Seriously though…would that actually cripple y’all?” asks Al Qaeda of America.

“Am I dead or alive?” asks Casi.

“Dead.” says Diego.

Casi thinks.

“Why don’t you all just do that?!?” Casi asks them.

“Yeah. Lacey knows why.“ says a dead middle class man. He died of pancreatic cancer?

“Because they need the poor.” says Lacey. “I suspect. America doesn’t run on Dunkin’. It runs on poverty.”

“You’re a fool!!” Joe Kennedy Jr. yells cruelly at Lacey.

“Joe. The rest of the world doesn’t necessarily have that problem. Because they have functional class systems.” says Lacey. “The ideal of a classless society is Christian. But the world is fallen. And the American-classless-class-system was flawed from the start.”

“Lacey! There’s a building…in Manhattan…where the billionaires live…and it’s super exclusive!!” says Jonah Hill.

“Can I live there?” asks Lacey.

Blood In The Cut by K.Flay plays.

“No.” says Jonah Hill.

“Why not?” asks Lacey.

He rolls his eyes and sighs.

“No. Really. Why?” asks Lacey.

“Because Lacey…it’s exclusive.” says an Americanized Norwegian woman in Norway hatefully to Lacey to imply that Lacey isn’t exclusive.

“Oh!” says Lacey to Jonah Hill. “Why do I have to live there?”

He looks dumbfounded. He shrugs.

“Do I have to live there?!?” asks Lacey.

“No?” says Jonah Hill, tentatively.

Night Thoughts by Else plays.

“Why would I have to live there?” asks Lacey.

“Umm…because it’s exclusive.” says the dead middle class man.

“What does that matter?” asks Lacey.

“You’re exclusive!” yells Chris Hayes.

“Then why are you telling me where to live like I’m a hostage or a peasant or a slave?” asks Lacey.

“Because it’s exclusive.” says Cher.

“Why do I care?” asks Lacey.

“Because it’s exclusive!” yells America.

“What does that matter?” asks Lacey.

“Because you have to or we won’t acknowledge you.” says America.

“Why do I care?” asks Lacey.

“We make you care.” says America, like a bunch of ignorant fools.

“Then why not just exterminate humanity?” asks Hitler cheerfully.

“Why do we have to care?!?” asks Nazi Germany.

“I agree!” says New Amsterdam.

“So do I!” says Bloody Mary.

And at that Wicked Games by Parra for Cuva plays. And the Kennedy men dance like buffoons in khaki 1980’s Docker’s with pleats. Cuffs. Padding in their asses. They “tryin’ to keep it fresh.”

The song gets more hot. Fade Out Lines by The Avener & Phoebe Killdeer plays.

They shake their cushioned big butts to look “fly.”

“Alright. We’ll exterminate humanity.” says Hitler sincerely.

“What the fuck!? I’m getting an erection from the music! Why aren’t you excited?” asks Bobby Kennedy Jr..

Smoke & Mirrors by RJD2 plays.

“Wanna see my cock?!” yells Bobby Kennedy Jr. at everyone alive. “Cheryl says it’s okay! I have a giant erection! It’s a doozy!”

“Why do we care?” asks Hitler.

“Because I have…access…to the building.” says Bobby Kennedy Jr.. Standing awkwardly with his khaki 1980’s Docker’s at his feet he dangles a set of keys. “The Kennedys are the elite who care.” He says sincerely.