“Why Are You Rejecting Me?” by Lacey Banks

Why are you rejecting me?

Brutus by The Buttess plays.

“Because you’re not good enough.” says Bobby Kennedy Junior.

I’m poor?

“Yeah.” the evil Illuminati talks.

“‘Yeah. Come on. Let’s talk.’” says Bill Gates says to stupidly cover for the next Holocaust victims.

Lacey smiles. Hi. She smiles.

“Okay.” says Lacey. She smiles.

“We’re sorry.” he says.

Like I care? Should I cut off your head or your cock?

Go on you wretched pieces of worthless shit. Explain.

“We aren’t.” says Taylor.

Oh you lie. You are. The only reason you aren’t is next to God, Jesus. Go kill yourself if you’ve ever molested a child. And don’t take those words out of context…

“But you found me attractive.” says Chris Hayes.

Why is that a sin?

“Because I was married.” says Chris Hayes.

Were you?

Venom by Little Simz plays.

“Not in the eyes of God necessarily.” admits Chris Hayes.

Then move on.

“No. I wanted to kill you.” says Chris.

“Yeah. So did Diego. Until he saw me in person.” says Lacey.

“Fine. I’m just jealous of you.” says Chris Hayes. “I’m into men. And they never find me as attractive as they find you.”

Yeah. Huh. And I’m real old money.

“Yes.” says Chris.

And you’re not.

“Yes.” he says.

“And Erin is insanely jealous.” says Lacey.

“Yes! But it was my idea and Diego’s idea to kill you. One night when we were high.” says Chris Hayes.

Huh. But it was based on your genuinely idiotic false sense of superiority.

“Yes.” says Chris Hayes.

Like scientifically?

“Yeah. Lots of people at MSNBC have dabbled in eugenics lately. And so has Bobby. Like over the last ten years or so.” says Chris Hayes.

And you all decided while high that you were superior?

“Yes. All of us. At various points in time.” says Joan.

So you were all so narcissistically burst by just me…that you turned into homicidal freaks?

“Yup!” says a woman at MSNBC.

Huh. Well as God freezes all the guilty parties in place I’ll go figure out what to do. Hold on.

Later.

Brutus by The Buttress plays.

“I’m more evil than you.” said Chris Hayes to everyone. “Other than for my chin I’m hot.”

“Yeah. I think you’re hot regardless.” said Erin Gloria Ryan.

“Well that’s because you’re the hottest woman alive.” he said, sincerely.

But she isn’t. She’s an 8…at best. In reality she’s a 7 or maybe…a 2. Her face looks extremely evil…and it’d be pretty but she’s stupid which just makes it annoying and shrill. And she’s volatile and a workaholic loser. She’s ignorant and backward, but to get ahead she’d shed her faith and send you to hell and let you cruelly murder or molest children. She’s not concerned with her Mountain Dew and her maneuvering…she won. She won the cool kid award and went to Notre Dame. Why not Harvard? Because she’s not that smart. She’s just desperate for awards.

“Holy shit. I’m disgusting.” she says.

“Yeah. Huh. That’s a joke?” says Lacey. “You know…you’re not funny. You’re just clever and a slut. You sound…like them. And…what have they done? NOTHING.”

“We’re pedantic.” says Chris Hayes.

“Stop flattering yourself.” says Lacey.

Brutus by The Buttress plays.

“I have a list of people.” says Michael Rockefeller.

“Another list?” asks Lem.

“Yeah.” says Lacey. “Yeah.”

“Maybe some people shouldn’t have been raped Jack. Like Lem and Lacey.” says his father JP.

“This will be interesting. Maybe it will be the end of the world? Or maybe not. It’s just…so…wow. Huh? Right? Wow? Or no? Or yes? Or no? Do yes? Do what?” says Lacey.

“She hears your narcissism. Better than we do.” says F. Scott Fitzgerald. “It’s my Holocaust.”