“Sex” by Alex

Tik Tok by Kesha plays.

Lacey dances.

“I hear that song and I think of learned behavior that causes you to gain weight, lose track of time and act sloppy. Tragic. The sort of stuff that causes you to not take life seriously enough and really waste your time and energy being evil, careless and stupid. I hate that song. I absolutely hate that song.” says Alex Whitworth. “When I analyze the lyrics, I highly suspect Lacey hears that song and gets excited because it seems like musical beats directed by God leading you in warfare and being victorious. And you know sort of kicking-butt, but that’s a totally different perspective on the same thing I hate.

It’s taken care of of business, possibly being the person in the friend group who stays sober doesn’t do drugs and tries to help everyone to stay away from destroying their life and at the same time being a part of the crowd and sort of affecting everyone and just leading everything by the sheer force of some energy. I mean it isn’t-it-she doesn’t have a penis and she’s not a man. There’s just nothing masculine about her.

I hated that song. I absolutely hated that song and she liked and that was the last time we were say each other.” says Alex.

Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus plays.

“Why were you so mean?” asks Lacey.

“I felt insecure.” says Alex.

“Then why did you bother?” asks Lacey.

“I liked you.” he says.

“Why?” asks Lacey.

“Why?” asks Lacey.

I Gotta Feeling by Black Eyed Peas plays.

“Because? You already know.” he says, annoyed.

“Oh my gosh! Stop expecting men to tell you why they find you attractive you worthless dog!” yells Chris Hayes at Lacey like he’s being viciously attacked.

Alex gets nervous.

“I don’t want to think about it.” says Alex.

“Why?” asks Lacey.

“Because you’d know then. And you’d be scary.” says Alex. “It’s fun to hurt you.”

“Why would that be scary?” asks Lacey.

“Because you’re either my equal or above me and I can’t stand it!” says Alex.

“As a person.” says Lem.

“Yes.” says Randolph Murdaugh. “So why bother her?”

“Because I want to look good. And…she made me feel really cool at first.” says Alex.

Like A G6 says Far East Movement plays.

“I felt sexy!” says Alex. “But…it got weird after a while.” He thinks. “She was really hot back then.”

“Why was it weird?” asks MSNBC.

“Because…she’d get stares. At her. And…she smelled good. But…I’m short. I’m her height. I’m a small man. After her…I became obsessed with weight lifting.” says Alex. “She looked at me and I saw the disappointment in her eyes.”

“Naked?” asks 50 Cent.

“Yes.” says Alex.

“So you were mean because you wanted me to feel as bad as you felt being short and slightly scrawny when I met you.” says Lacey to Alex.

“Yes.” says Alex.

Nothin’ by N.O. R. E. plays.

“I was wrong?” says Alex. “We made out. I talked her into having sex. And then I got the idea in my head to put her on top.”

“Why!?” asks Lacey.

“Did I rape you?” asks Alex.

“Did we even have sex?” asks Lacey.

“Yes.” he says. “Technically.”

“Yes. It was intercourse.” says Lacey.

“See. I set you two up!” says Joe Kennedy Junior. “Bobby married gals just like Lacey! Bobby Kennedy Junior. And they’ve had rough times. But they’ve been in love.”

“Go on!” says Dr. Whitworth.

“You’re smug!” says Joe.

“He looks like your brother though?” asks Dr. Whitworth.

“So if I have a psychological disorder where I am in love with Kick and people explain to me that I’m crazy and I don’t wanna hear it my thought was that if Lacey was married to or seriously involved with someone who is genetically ahh…and in another ways very similar to my brother Bobby umm that would sort of enlighten her and help her understand what it’s like to be in love with your brother or sister, but not maybe. No more my family. I thought of Jack but he didn’t make as much sense. I had some people that were somewhat similar to Ted but he was harder to find and it just didn’t seem-It didn’t seem likely so I found someone who’s very similar to Bobby and it-it was weird. It was really weird.” says Joe Kennedy Junior.

“She’s arousing. But it wasn’t what I expected.” says Bobby.

Shake Ya Ass by Mystikal.

“It was sad.” says Lem.

“Yeah. They seemed weird together.” says Joe.

“What happened from your perspective?” asks MSNBC.

“She seemed really into it until they started actually having sex.” says Joe.

“She was a virgin.” says Alex.

“Yeah. So what?” says Joe.

“I’m not letting this conversation continue.” says Joe Kennedy Senior.

“Why?” asks Joe.

“Because! You’re obnoxious!” yells JP.

“I’m sorry. I don’t understand.” Alex says and cries.

“Why?” asks Lacey in concern.

“Nothing! It’s not your problem!” says Alex, defensively.

“So…you agreed that drugs were bad. What else did you two have in common?” asks MSNBC.

“We-“ says Alex. He thinks. “We found each other attractive. But…I’m not…Lem.”

“How similar are we?” asks Bobby.

“We’re absolutely nothing alike.” says Alex.

“No. We’re almost identical.” says Bobby.

“We don’t look that much alike.” says Alex.

“No. But enough.” says Bobby.

“Fine.” says Alex.

“I hate you.” says Bobby.

“No. You don’t. Or do you?” asks Alex. “Wait! Oh my gosh! I’m in love with you!”

“You PRICK! THINKING YOU’RE SO DEEP!” says Bobby.

“You’re sounding like a weak child to us, Alex. Really. It’s arousing the sociopaths.” says MSNBC in the Illuminati.

He ignores them because it’s stupid.

“What?!? KISS ME!” says Alex, putting Bobby into a chokehold. “You misogynistic moron!”

Yes, Joe and Joe are still arguing.

“While this is all happening MSNBC would like to share with you something that you don’t seem to understand Lacey. Please listen. See…once you join the Illuminati you agree to always be loyal to protect and defend the other members of the Illuminati.” says an Illuminati member.

“Wow, so who do you defend other from?” asks Lacey.

“Well from anyone who would try to attack you.” says the person in the Illuminati.

“OK but what if one of you wants to attack each other?” asks Lacey.

“We never fight each other ever. Putin is pretending to attack us, but in reality, it’s a secret subplot, and we’re best friends with North Korea.” says MSNBC.

“You’re really all secretly best friends?! Oh my gosh! That’s so cool! It’s like sisterhood and fraternity at the same time. You guys are the best!” says Lacey, sarcastically.

everything i wanted by Billie Eilish.

“Fast cars, loose women, high speed chases on the highway. I mean…these people sell children into slavery to buy drugs, sell drugs, and wear expensive clothes. They’re old money…and someday when Jesus returns oh, thank God that I’m Catholic, even though I wear do wear Dior Homme…Dior will never own my soul.” says Jeremy.

“Jeremy what are you talking about?” asks MSNBC.

“You know what I’m talking about.” says Jeremy.

“That’s right. I do and if I don’t it’s because I’m stupid and we’ll figure it out.” says MSNBC.

“Dude, you’ve never been that submissive to my superiority before. So why are you doing it now? Just out of humble curiosity? says Jeremy.

“Jeremy, I’m trying to demonstrate how the bond works within the Illuminati. We are we operate as one giant flesh with individual consciousnesses. Is that right? We are becoming one whole under a sort of nebulous Jewish, Satanist, Buddhist, Catholic faith, which makes it seem like we’re in the New World Order and we’re the antichrist itself but I’m not sure about that…because I’m pretty sure that I don’t want to worship Jesus. So we could kill all the Christians in the Illuminati but then I have to kill you.” says MSNBC.

Alex kills JP, Bobby, and Joe watches.

“Let’s go get lunch.” Alex says to Joe.

“Okay.” says Joe.

“See…why do you people matter?” Lacey asks the Illuminati. “I can’t stand the shitty, bourgeois bullshit of your crap organization.”

“Because we have power!” says MSNBC.

“No. You’re desperate.” says Lacey.

“Are we supposed to be?” asks a man in the Illuminati.

“NO!” says Lacey. “Look…I’m not trying to be mean…but it’s depressing.”

“We’re trying to sacrifice you.” says Hollywood.

“Okay. But then there’s death. And I have to go home.” says Lacey. “And my dad isn’t going to like this.”

“We don’t die!” says Chris.

“That’s a lie!” says Diego. “We do too die!”

“Okay. But…we don’t…have to?” says Chris. “I mean come on! You were there the other night when they did the cryogenics presentation.”

“You guys are like smoke. You always sneak in.” says Barbara. “You’re like a suffocating force on humanity but you also can be contained or prevented? …Don’t tell me we need to kill you people? Like in the French Revolution?”

“Maybe. But they’re not impressive.” says Lacey, annoyed.

“What should we be able to do?” asks Kesha.

“Move things in my room.” says Lacey.

“Okay. What else?” asks an alien.

“Move me.” says Lacey. “Probably have me beheaded. Behead my family. Set cities on fire and get away with it. Create Mozart…” says Lacey. “Etc..”

A man at MSNBC laughs.

“So is that how they built the pyramids?” asks Alex.

“I don’t know.” says Lacey. “What if it is?”

“How should we have scared you?” asks Chris.

“You scared me. But…not necessarily in the right way.” says Lacey. “It’s more severe, endless torture. Akin to having schizophrenia but it’s real. And you can’t escape. And it feels like you’re in literal Hell slightly but…you can’t recall how you could have died. Or any part of dying at all.”

“So how should we be torturing you?” asks the Illuminati.

“Why do you need to? You’re torturing me to sacrifice me? Is there a spiritual net for you all through my torment?” asks Lacey.

“No.” says MSNBC.

“Listen. I’m not likely to be a death sacrifice. Ever.” says Lacey. “I feel like you guys have ruined it. And you’ve possibly ruined death sacrifices in general except for children.”

“You can’t sacrifice Lacey. It’s impossible. It’s a disaster waiting to happen.” says Lem. “Ironically…David Pitts ruined it for eternity. He put the nail in the coffin. And every serious and hateful thing written about me at this point.”

“So it went too far?” asks Chris.

“Yes. Ironically if I had explained more while I was alive even incorrectly it’d be potentially possible. But…the way it stands…it’s the rare perfect thing.” says Lem.

“Hold on! What did we do?!?” asks Chris.

“It’s like this: I left behind a very bizarre spiritually coded message for Lacey. And she struggles to interpret it outside of the Holy Spirit. When she dwells in the Holy Spirit she can hear what I mean, and we can become one for eternity. But when she’s not hearing anything through the Holy Spirit, she can’t interpret it correctly. And a part of that is just her, but it requires her to sort of let go and just listen to the Holy Spirit by choice to some degree. So since the message is too coded and obscure, she can’t relax and enjoy life because I am the only person outside of probable family and her kids and possible people who care about her in Hwho love her at all anywhere. Her ex-husband may love her some, but he’s not someone who she can turn to so because she’s so profoundly isolated, profoundly isolated she has no ability to psychologically distance herself from people in the way that you demand she does upon penalty of punishment and death. You were you people don’t understand is how weak and lowly you are compared to God. I feel you as I’m saying this, trying to literally move her out of her body or what is it put someone else in her body. But that’s not possible! So move something in her room or realize that you’re really not an Egyptian.

I just wanna point out you people can’t stand the thought of us fucking each other or being in love! You hate the love that Lacey and I have for each other! I don’t know if dead people do but the Illuminati in America that’s evil hates it.” says Lem.