On Hallowed Ground II

Gold by Kiiara plays.

“Nah! I see her sexy videos. But I OWN SEX!” says Casi.

She bounces her tits up and down.

“Wow!” say the Kennedys, sincerely in awe.

“See! I knew you’d like her.” says Alex Whitworth. “She actually used to be a professional stripper.”

Flower by Moby plays.

“Yup! They go up and down!” says Eunice, high and drunk.

“Yup.” says Joe.

“Wow!” says Bobby. “Why are we here though?”

“Because! She’s bouncing.” says Alex.

“It’s…sexy.” says Kick.

“Actually, she’s definitely a quality player.” says JFK.

Awkwardly believing she’s been too awe-inspiring Casi does a New Age next to Calm Down by Rema & Selena Gomez.

“I’m convinced.” says JFK.

“Do you want money?” asks Joe Kennedy Junior. “Or love?” He’s being serious.

“LOVE!” yells Casi like she’s in a Coke commercial at the end of Mad Men.

The Kennedys are in awe. Truly.

Chris Hayes claps his hands. “Amen!” he says.

Pocketful of Sunshine by Natasha Bedingfield plays.

“Oh! Gay music!” says JFK.

“Yeah. I smell perfume.” says Joe.

“I wear perfume.” says Casi.

“No. You don’t. You wear…sweat.” says Joe.

“I wear Chanel No. 22!” says Casi, crying.

“No. You milk cows.” says JFK.

“I do not.” says Casi.

“No. Lacey does. We don’t.” says Joe.

“What do y’all think of her huge tits?” asks Alex Whitworth.

“They’re superior.” says Kick. “Obviously.”

“Yeah. Marilyn’s weren’t quite big enough. And she was vain about it.” says JFK.

“I LOVE HUGE TITS.” says Joe Jr., laughing.

“Then why am I poor?” asks Casi.

“Yeah. It’s mysterious!” says JFK, sincerely.

Time Traveller by M. I. A. plays.

“Them Vikings used Viking ships to get the oil.” says Casi.

“Yeah. They sure did.” says Joe, thoughtfully. “They sure did.”

“Dammit! How’d they do it?” asks Casi, sincerely.

“They done used science. Hidden, lost science.” says Joe Kennedy Junior.

“Yeah?” says Casi.

“Yeah. They went through time and sucked Vladimir Putin off!” says JFK. “But see…he was single at the time.”

“Oh. Wow.” says Casi. “So what happened?”

“He liked it.” says JFK. “And so…they were allowed into the land. To own the oil.”

“Through Lacey?” says Casi.

“Yes.” says Joe. “See…they all took turns. And we we’re Irish, see. So we struggled.”

“With what?” asks Casi.

They all stare at her.

“What?!” asks Casi.

They all stare at Casi.

“This is why I can’t stand these people.” Alex says to Lacey.

And at that Lacey almost genuinely dies.

“They got lost!” says Alex.

“Yeah.” says Lacey.

Moon by Kid Francescoli & Julia Minkin plays.

“We got lost. That’s why we didn’t have oil. We got lost.” says JFK, thoughtfully.

“That’s okay. We got each other.” says Joe.

“Yeah. And they don’t have us.” says Jack.

“I knew it!” says Diego.

“Let’s kill them?” says Chris. “Really? I was only joking when I said that.”

“Yeah. But I’m kinda thinking about it.” says Joe Kennedy Junior.

“Oh really? Why?” asks Casi.

“Because she’s…evil.” says Joe.

“Yeah! It’s a Norwegian thing.” says Casi.

“They’re all cock suckers for money!” says JFK.

“Yeah. I mean…it’s as clear as can be.” says Joe Kennedy Junior leaning forward sadly.

Love Letter by ODESZA plays.

And at that the living Kennedys try to give Lacey a heart attack for pointing out that Lem lowly wasn’t attracted to JFK at all in a heated rage.

“I knew Bobby Junior. My character is secretly inspired by him.” says Steve Carrell. “He’s a moron.”

Hypnotize by The Notorious B. I. G. plays.

“Every cutie with a booty bought a Gucci. My gosh you guys this is what a man sounds like.” says JFK in a gay voice.

“Oh my gosh, you guys that is totally not true. I am a woman I swear!” says a woman named Meredith.

“But we were told by Commander Eight that he definitely is a man.” says an alien.

“I swear I’m a woman. I just I don’t wanna show you my vagina because I’m a woman and that’s just really uncomfortable for me. I am sorry!” says Meredith.

The aliens look quickly, respectfully and scientifically with a doctor.

“You are indeed a woman. We know that vaginas and penises actually mean something. We’ve done research, we are confused by your species, thinking that there’s nothing.” says the alien.

“But see you guys just don’t understand. Joe and I were just having a discussion about the Viking ships going to Vladimir Putin.” says Casi Brooke Hart.

“Ah…that never happened Casi. The Vikings have never visited me to get the oil in North Dakota. That never happened.” says Tsar Vladimir Putin.

“Then how they get the oil?” asks a Seay-Wife.

“And you know what pisses me off? You were raised poor because you’re Mexican and yet you have very bold features people think you’re pretty and they let you have my oil.” says Lacey to Jess. “I know you copy me. I know you’re impressed by me. I’m not the slightest bit impressed by you for the most part. Don’t stare at me like you’re my equal in my superior, your far beneath me. As far as I can see scientifically, you’re an idiotic bitch when it comes to psychology and I’m a genius. I could wipe your ass with your fucking brain you little fake bitch. I am extraordinarily beautiful. You are not. You are a trite, pushy, social climbing bitch. And you expected me to be what? All your best friends? Or what did you expect? For people in your family to be so fucking nice and to do what lay my guts on the table for you so you can slice me up and fry me in a frying pan?

Well my mother’s not speaking to me anymore just because you got everyone in the family to love you and think I was a horrible bitch for not worshiping you and your meager but obvious Hispanic beauty. Do you know why they like you because you kiss their ass and you hate me and they’ve all hated me my entire life. Your mother-in-law can’t stand me, your sister-in-law can’t stand me. They’ve all been jealous of me my entire life, and you seem like me to them…except more relatable, beneath them and you’re also more obviously beautiful with your very bold, Hispanic features, which are very popular at the moment. 30 years from now you won’t be considered as beautiful as you are now and you’re really not that beautiful she’s not compared to me and a lot of other women who are less popular at the moment. So be careful going around advertising yourself is genuinely superior because you’re making enemies a lot more than you think.

You know your million dollar house is awfully impressive. Just when we lived in Seattle we paid about three or 4000 a month prevent over seven years ago. do you oh not house just where do you rent it because I’m sure that if you rent it you want everyone to think about it I have read your blog you’re a horrible writer and you’re not very bright. My great grand uncle was knighted for being a brilliant author, and I actually have a superior genius, a level of intelligence when it comes to writing that scientific fact. And yet…I didn’t mean to necessarily insult you in any real way by saying that and I think you might understand that. In heaven, you’ll be my equal in every way, but you’ll still be yourself and you’ll just have to be able to handle being yourself and not being me or anyone else. And you won’t be able to copy me or steal from me sweetie or anyone else. No you’ll have to be entirely just yourself and if that’s too miserable for you then are you human at all? Do you have a soul, do you exist or are you a demonic entity, living in a human body, going around stealing energy from people who actually do exist, and have their own personality?

I’m not masculine Jess. I’m not stupid. I’m not bitchy. I’m not crazy. I’m not butch-prissy. I just collect perfume. And my father has oil. Not just my mommy. Well my supposed mommy because truth is I’m not sure I’m related to any of these people at all. Legally, though my father arranged it in such a way that I am theirs and it’s seamless.

I’m not a bitch, and this blog was started as a way to try to explain myself to people, but it turned into some people just viciously attacking me including you, but I felt so sorry for you, because it seemed like you actually had a heart. And that’s what disturbed me when you went ‘crazy’ and started unfollowing me and it just felt like you were obsessed with me and gossiping about me. And you know I don’t mind people being inspired by me I just don’t like when people copy me behind my back to be cruel.

I am I’m sorry if this is patronizing to you, it’s not meant to be. I’m proud of you and your husband for doing so well. I was just hurt. Because I just don’t like people being catty to me and you’re in a very catty family. I was protective of myself around you Jess because I didn’t trust you instantly but I don’t trust a lot of people in your family. And they’re still legally my family, but I’m very distanced from them right now for my own sake because I have come to believe that I’m genuinely not really one of them and that they have always wanted that to be clear to me.

And in that case it’s rather funny because it’s entirely possible that I’m married for eternity to their distant northern cousins and given the sides of slavery, I’m on the north. Banks were on the north. Ritters we’re on the north. And so are the Billings and Lemoynes so maybe that’s the point of my life in that way. It’s to continue the Civil War.”

“Ahh we might rent our house.” says Jess.

“You know I wondered if that was true. You know I asked my mother about you guys the last time I talked to her in an attempt to try to figure out what was going on but I didn’t ask her if you rented or owned your house. I asked her when you moved out there.” says Lacey. “You know your house is very expensive and if I had asked her if you rented, she would’ve given me a bullshit answer and made me feel like I was a gossipy little fucking whore for bringing it up. And the truth is that’s why Terese hates me because the last time I saw her I was trying to bring up that topic of your jealousy towards me, she refused to capitulate that I was her niece. And the women in that family love to use their daughters and their nieces against me from my perspective they’re vicious, heartless people at the end of the day, so to speak. And I have to fight to believe that people are nice and loving like me. I’m a genuinely loving nice person, and so are my kids and so is my husband. He’s are a lot kinder than my mother. Well he’s not really my husband anymore. He is legally but we’re in a Millennial marriage, so to speak.

Anyway, all that being said I am, I don’t resent you just back off and quit using guilt to make me feel sorry for telling you to back off. And quit using faux love that you have for me to attack me for telling you to back off. I’m not telling you not to care. I’m not telling you not to give a shit. I’m just telling you to stop being evil because I know you read my blog. I know a lot of them probably do but I’m almost positive that you do. I’ve helped you and your business have an eye with understanding the world, because I’m a heck of a lot more sophisticated than you, but then that’s the thing that’s real and unfortunately for you that’s what I am not you. I am a kinder, smarter, prettier, more intelligent person than everyone in your little Seay family, I’m sorry. You all want me to be dependent on you and need you to survive but I’m not a non-entity and God does exist.

And what you don’t understand though Jess is that we are old money and you’re not you married in. You did marry in though and now you’re stuck to some degree but you did marry in and it’s not your family of origin. It is mine, and you lack an extraordinary amount of empathy in understanding that. But that’s par for the course in the CA family and the Nesheim family a lot of those women are very hottie, arrogant and vain when they marry in to the family they have very little respect for the original members of the family and what that means to those people psychologically especially the women Your husband’s grandmother was bullied because she was a daughter of origin and they thought that meant that she was weak because she couldn’t fuck the mat and use orgasms to control them to get their money. And I know how you think. I also think you probably were in love with your husband and that earns my respect, but that’s a tendency in your family. A lot of the women who married in use sex to get their husbands to hurt women in the family who were born into the family.

That didn’t happen as much in titled aristocratic families because they were a lot more vicious with their snobbery but perhaps righteously so. And perhaps in America if you wear the right perfume and you spread your legs and you marry a dipshit he’ll put out for you emotionally and truly be your husband if you’re a big enough bitch and threaten his life in some way shape or form, or threaten to take away his kids. Because America is a country for prostitutes sweetie and I can’t stand this country in that way.

It’s more pervasive in the Nesheim family than in most families, even if it’s a tendency in old money in general at this point. And I think what hurts me is that you seem nice and I can’t figure out how someone who could be genuinely loving at times could be so possibly determined to cause chaos. And I don’t know what people said about me. I don’t even know if there’s anything at all but umm stop using me to get off. I have never given permission in any way, shape or form and neither has God. And I mean that for everyone in your family all of you.

If I inherit the oil, that’s some thing that Ed Nesheim, who married Eunice and Lem Billings will have to sort through. Legally I’ll obviously be the person who has the oil, but that’ll be something that my husband will have to take care of, and so be prepared to deal with a lot of people who are dead.

Ahh don’t stay with your husband for stupid reasons, but you know umm if you guys can be happy and be in love that’s wonderful. You’re very pretty even if it’s not overwhelming and that’s nice that he married a very pretty woman in a way, who is lovely to be married to if you love him.” says Lacey Banks.

“A Rockefeller to the end of that. No, it’s Lacey Banks Rockefeller.” says Michael.

Kaiser-walzer by Johann Strauss plays.