Successful In Bed

Strings Con Fuoco by Nicholas Britell plays.

“Did Joe lie?” asks Lem.

Lacey is unable to respond.

“Lacey…did Joe…lie?” asks Lem.

“Yes. But it’s so tawdry.” says Lacey.

The song plays.

“Joe told you what?” asks Lem.

Andante in C Minor by Nicholas Britell plays.

“He told me that Janet wasn’t…special to him.” says Lacey. “She was just a slut. Who didn’t care.”

“And you mostly believed him.” says Lem.

“Yes. He was really lying.” says Lacey. “He still would.”

“And then you read about her?” asks Lem.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“What hurt?” begs a herd of hateful, misogynistic living men.

“You’re hoping she was hurt?” asks Lem.

“Yes!” they say.

Minuet in B Minor by Nicholas Britell plays.

“What if she wasn’t hurt?” says Lem.

“That’s possible!” they say, stupidly.

“Actually…it’s not. With a normal human. I was hurt.” says Lacey.

“Okay. Shit. Like for real!?” asks Diego.

“Yes!” yells Lem. “But it was only Joe.”

“Okay. Whatever! …What hurt?” asks a mostly gay man, yawning.

Clarinets and Strings by Nicholas Britell plays.

“Janet’s ugliness.” says Lem. “I’m ugly at times. But I’m a man. And I can still seduce her. …With my soul. She even falls in love with my flaws.” He thinks. “Lacey was Joe’s soulmate. And Janet is ugly compared to Lacey. Lacey can’t fathom easily what’s going on.”

Like A G6 by Far East Movement plays as Janet grinds with JP. Extremely drunk they stumble over each other.

“What is that?” asks Lacey.

“It’s baffling.” says Howard Hawks, sincerely.