“So you targeted Lacey because she’s Michael’s soulmate? But you didn’t know that…until it was explained to you. And then you suddenly realized that that was why.
But you refuse to admit that Chris. And you insist you only targeted her after Diego…your ex-boyfriend…suggested it. But…it’s possible you really didn’t think it through. And you’re somewhat innocent in your own depraved way because…you’re in the Illuminati if this is true and not just a complex satire…and you weren’t keeping track consciously.
Is that it?” asks a woman.
“Yes.” says Diego.
“Huh. What was it about Lacey that made you psychically aware she was attached to Michael?” asks the woman.
“Her husband.” says Chris.
“YES! Her husband.” says Diego. “He’s so…elite. We read him that way. He’s untouchable! We instantly knew. But…it’s sad.”
“Why?” asks the Boomer feminist.
“Because he’s…a heroic figure.” says Diego.
“Heroic!?” says the Boomer feminist.
“Yeah! Heroic.” says Chris.
“Why?” asks the woman.
“He’s…so…sad.” says Diego.
“Why?” asks the woman.
“Because he’s…getting taken advantage of!” says Chris.
“By whom?!?” asks Matt.
“Lacey!” says Diego.
“How?” asks Lem.
“Because she’s using you. To make me jealous? To get her husband to love her?” says Diego.
“Oh! And why was Lem happy at Jack’s wedding?” asks the feminist.
“This will be good!” says Sinead.
“Because…Lem…was heroic.” says Diego.
“Huh. How?” asks the feminist.
“He didn’t want to make Jack sad. One tiny bit!!! That’s how much he loved that man!!! MY…epic. My HERO!!” says Diego, passionately.
“Why? Why wouldn’t you want a lover to see your pain?” asks Lem.
“Because! You were a hero. And you wanted to save him. ALWAYS.” says Diego.
“How did I manage to make myself intimate with him?” asks Lem.
“You had LOVE!” says Diego.
“But then how was I ever supposed to be intimate with him?” asks Lem. “He never saw my emotions. Beyond laughter.”
“But that’s every man’s ideal.” says Chris matter-of-factly.
“Yeah. That’s why we loved. We almost had that.” says Diego.
“Yeah. Man. I loved you.” says Chris.
“We had life!” says Diego.
“We had sex!!” says Chris.
“Epic.” says Diego.
“You had fun. Yeah. Guy stuff.” says Kate.
“Kate sees me cry. But it’s nice to turn off. And be happy!” says Chris.
“Sex! Yeah! Good times.” says Diego.
“But why no intimacy?” asks Lem.
“You don’t need intimacy to have good sex. Nor anything of value.” says Chris.
“That’s not psychologically correct.” says Bill Gates.
More later.
“So you’re saying…men want constant happiness?” says JD Rockefeller.
“Sure do.” says Chris. He laughs.
“No sad. No drama.” says Diego. “Lem was devastated only when Jack died. Because Jack was his everything. It’s historical fact.”
“So…that’s a part of that-that man’s psychological condition as an entity that Jack knows nothing about.” says JD Rockefeller.
Matthew Perry laughs. Bites his fist.
“Can you all really imagine Don Draper loving always being happy?” asks Jon Hamm.
“Yes!! All men! All men want that. It’s why being gay is a dream come true.” says Diego.
“So…we’ve got sold on the idea that men want constant happiness.” says Jon Hamm.
“They do.” says Chris.
“Okay. But that’s a part of that man’s psychology that Jack never saw.” says JD Rockefeller. “Or barely saw.”
“So?!?” says Diego. “Jack always enough. Jack made him HAPPY!”
“With just his presence?” asks Matt.
“Yes!! The minute he walked in the room. Boom! Lem was in Heaven! It was epic!” says Diego.
Matthew Perry rolls over in laughter.
“Okay. But what about…what I’m saying?” says JD Rockefeller.
“What about it?!?” asks Diego.
“That’s a part of Lem Jack didn’t know!” says JD Rockefeller.
“So what?” says Diego.
“So…what if…Lacey used that to seduce Lem?” asks JD Rockefeller.
“How?” asks Diego, startled.
“As a woman.” says JD Rockefeller.
“Yeah. It’s insane. Men…who aren’t idiots…in that way…understand this. You can’t be that…evil.” says Matthew Perry. “In that way. It’s…unsustainable.”
“What you’re saying is…that Jack had a very shallow relationship with Lem. If they even had one at all. And we’re insane to have overblown it or invented it.” says Chris. “And actually…that Lem may have been bitter and sarcastic in his voice in his most famous quotes…not advocating against ‘settling down.’ But we don’t know that…because Bobby is still being babysat by the American people.”
“Shit! You all lie. And I make you.” says Bobby.
“Yeah! So what?” says Diego.
“So…plenty. Why did you target our Lacey?” asks JD Rockefeller.
“Because! I wanted to be able to make love…to Michael.” says Diego.
Clocks by Coldplay plays.
Diego dances. Diego flashes the photo of Michael on a screen behind him. The Iranians are being very lenient. Diego is dancing in the projected image of Michael Rockefeller. He wears a white body suit. To his credit he is agile and good at dancing even if it is so corny as to be…a farce of itself.
Every time the percussion smashes Diego does a new running man pose. In his cream suit he does a combination of the running man and the robot? With intermittent twirls.
He’s for real.
At the end of the song he stands breathless. He looks uncomfortable. Uneasy.
“What’s wrong Diego?” asks Lem.
“Nothing! Nothing really. I just want to loom sadness. I want to intimacy intoxicate Michael.” says Diego sincerely.
“Why do you think he’s interested?” asks JD Rockefeller, with Coldplay playing in the background.
“Because he’s…gotta be.” says Diego.
“Why?” asks JD Rockefeller.
“Because men like him have to be available.” says Diego.
“They’re not. Not often.” says JD Rockefeller. “Scott overemphasized the male victims. Poor man. But only the male victims of women.” He laughs. “And Lem isn’t a dog. Lacey’s not a dog neither. Poor Scott was! …And so often are men like you. And Jack. Jackie…isn’t Daisy. Jack never really had a Daisy because he hid behind a facade…until death.”
everything i wanted by Billie Eilish plays.
“People cared when Jack died. But…Lem…if he wasn’t gay…or even homosexual at all…never loved Jack. And it shocked Jack. He’s still in denial about it.” says JD Rockefeller.
Michael sings. Lacey swoons. She’s helpless.
“Just testing.” says Michael to Lem.
“I can’t stand it. You made a mockery of her soul.” says Michael. “And this blog is pathetic. Compared to her pain. And what’s being asked of her. Sorry.”
“Yeah. I know.” says Lem.
“Don’t worry. I’m second to you. But…it was beginning to feel…like nothing. And…it’s not.” says Michael.
The Imitation Game by Desplat plays.
“Why do you care?” asks Chris Hayes.
“Do you really need me to spell it out for you and Diego?” asks Michael.
Diego thinks.
Diego sits in front of the screen with Michael’s image on it. He sits cross-legged.
“Yes! Okay yes! I’m going to need an explanation!” says Diego. “Because in my mind…Lacey isn’t Daisy. …And I made Nancy love him. I admit it. …But I felt bad when she crushed on Don Jr.. Because then I saw her Myrtle.”
“You saw her Myrtle?” asks an Iranian.
“Her Myrtle side!” says Diego.
“What’s a Myrtle side?” asks the man.
“Like a personality trait!” says Diego.
“Is it in the DSM?” he asks.
“No. It’s colloquial. Like…a part of you is like a famous character.” says Diego.
“That’s trash!” says the man.
“Okay. Then Myrtle has a place in the DSM!” says Diego.
“Why do I care?” asks the Iranian.
“Because! We are analyzing Lacey.” says Diego cheerfully.
Matt rolls still laying on the floor laughing. To him…some things have become a comedy.
Run by Daughter plays.
Given a DSM copy Diego thumbs through it.
“You can’t run from God.” says Matthew Perry.
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